Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A New Home ❯ No Rest for the Waery ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
No Rest of the Weary
Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
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Also, please check out my other stories. I try to keep a constant level of dedication to all of them.
Thanks to my proofreader, Howard. Without him, my stories would definitely have a lower quality to them.
I wrote this story to get it out of my head, as well as deal with the Chibi-Usa/Ranma/Hotaru match-up that I picked up from Meanings of Life by Kuraiko Kurohoshi. A great and funny story you should read if you have the time.
Michiru was currently at the market, picking up groceries for dinner and later. She had been surprised when the food she made that would have been enough to feed three Usagis had been consumed by them, but mostly by Ranma. Already, they were out of orange juice and milk from breakfast this morning, and usually she would have needed to wait a few more days before buying those. Looks like Setsuna had better start putting more money in the expense account.
She had made it out of the store when she heard people scream a little. Looking around, she noticed that the power was out in the entire area. Well, looks like I don't need to worry about returning to school.
As she was about ready to pull out from the parking lot, she noticed her running adopted daughter and the future princess running down the street. This can't be a good sign.
She was further convinced when she saw the Inners soon following, holding Luna.
Pulling out of the parking lot, she drove after them, hoping that whatever it was that they were running towards wasn't too bad.
But somehow, she knew Ranma had to be involved.
Ranma's mind was currently rebooting. After seeing a talking cat, the OS interface between Nekoken 3.4.5 and Ranma 1.4 beta had caused a full memory cache failure.
In other words, he simply froze up, and had what would be termed as the human equivalent of the Blue Screen of Death.
As Ranma's mind began the reboot, it tried to decide which OS interface to bring online as the primary one for the moment. Using his senses, it searched out to find if the strange cat was still around.
Said target was currently sitting on his chest.
Nekoken OS interface initializing...
Hades stood before the Time Gates. Normally, he resembled a six foot Caucasian with short cut black hair, wearing a simple one-piece grey outfit.
Currently, he was wearing a complete clown suit, with matching oversized shows, hula-hoop pants, poke-a-dots, and face paint. It was another ploy to mess with the mind of his guardian.
He was a creation that spanned universes, connected to a near infinite amount of possibilities.
Currently, he was using that to play poker with several other versions of himself from other universes.
There was a Hades dressed as a biker.
There was a Hades dressed as a cowboy.
There was a Hades dressed as Marilyn Monroe.
And there was a Hades dressed as he was shown on some American version of Hercules.
“So,” clown-Hades began, as he dealt out the cards, “how are things in your universes?”
Biker-Hades frowned, noticing how bad his opening hand was. “My Ranma just got released from the hospital after Sailor Moon healed him. Currently, Minako and Makoto are making plans to accidentally walk in on him while nude. Two cards, please.”
Cowboy-Hades laughed. “Mine ended up having sex with Haruka in the shower. Now there was a scene, especially when she turned on the hot tap. I'll take three.”
Monroe-Hades sighed. “None of my Senshi have made a move on him, though Mamoru seems to be dreaming more about the pigtailed goddess he saved. I'll raise twenty pesos.”
TV-Hades shook his head; looking at the full house he had been dealt. “When mine came through, several portals opened up with Neo Senshi from the future. Apparently, he couldn't keep it in his pants, or they wouldn't let him. I haven't looked, and it's driving Pluto mad.”
Clown-Hades looked thoughtful. “Hmm, maybe I should do that. It would make things interesting. But if a Neo-Sailor Earth comes through, he might kill Mamoru.”
Biker-Hades looked at him. “But it would be fun.”
A sudden alarm sounded, causing the other Hades to throw down their cards. Clown-Hades sighed. “Damn, duty calls.”
Cowboy-Hades was somewhat glad. Even with the new cards, he didn't have shit. “Oh well. Hey, Frankenstein-Hades has the new X-Box.”
They soon faded away, chanting “Halo 3!”
Resuming his normal appearance, he looked into the Gates, smiling. “Well, the Nekoken makes an appearance. This will be dangerous, chaotic, and someone will get hurt.”
Smiling, he summoned a seat with a box of popcorn. “Yeah! I love when they get to the fight scenes!”
Hotaru and Usa arrived at the home of the Outers nearly out of breath. Quickly, they began a frantic search for Ranma, before heading out into the backyard, to see a sight they didn't expect.
Ranma was currently sitting on the ground...cleaning Diana.
Diana merely looked confused and scared. “Little Lady...why is this human grooming me?”
“Um...” was all she could say.
Hotaru was the first to respond. “Diana, he had some trauma with cats a long time ago, so he tends to freak out a lot when they are near him. So...um...just don't make him think you're an enemy.” She turned to Usa. “Did he tell us how to get him out of that?”
“Nope.” She turned towards her supposed consort. “Um...Ranma...are you okay?”
“MEOW!” came the happy response of Neko-Ranma, as he resumed cleaning the kitten he had adopted. She was so dirty. Didn't her mama know how to keep her nice and clean?
As Diana tried to slink away, she found herself batted by Ranma's...paw...back into his reach, where he resumed her grooming, and oddly, purring while doing it.
The two girls slowly approached Ranma, intent on seeing if he felt threatened by them.
After a minute, they decided his purring and pushing into their hands proved he at least liked them.
Then he just stopped.
Ranma looked in a random direction away from the house, his purr replaced with a deep growl.
Diana knew. “I sense a dark presence!”
Ranma leapt after it. Something foul had entered his territory. He would not let this challenge go unanswered.
“Um, I think we should go after him.”
Hotaru sighed as she pulled out her henshin pen. “Well, at least he is comfortable around us.”
As the duo transformed, they leapt off as well after Ranma.
Diana just sat there confused. “Man, Little Lady needs to talk to me about her new friends. I didn't even get to tell her that he knew they were Senshi.”
“They told who they were what?”
Diana gulped as she turned around, spotting the Inners, her mother, and a slightly peeved Michiru.
Oh yes, she was in trouble as well.
Luckily, the dark presence saved her.
Luna looked towards the direction Ranma, Neo-Moon, and Saturn had leapt off towards. “I sense a dark presence.”
Diana decided to play it off. “Yeah. Sailor Saturn and Little Lady already went after it.”
“Then we better go as well.” Usagi cried. “Senshi, transform and roll out!”
Rei held her tongue. Must not bop her on the head before battle. After the battle, however...
As Diana breathed a sigh of relief, she heard what she was hoping to avoid.
Luna came up beside her. “Now, who knows that your charge is a Senshi? And why are you groomed so well?”
The youma screamed as more people fled from it. It was a strange youma...and that was saying something.
You see, this youma was created from the negative feelings inside an ice cream parlor. Many times, girls had come there with broken hearts.
Later, it was unofficially called the Baskin Robbins Youma, complete with its Thirty-One Flavors Cannon.
As it screamed and prepared to strike at some more targets with its cannon, it felt a strong bite on its left arm, causing it to stop and look down.
It saw a strange human boy...who was...eating it!
“LET GO! LET GO! AHHHH!”
This was how the transformed Senshi soon found it. The youma was running around, trying to dislodge Ranma from its arm.
“You know, Saturn, I'm not really certain who needs our help here?”
“Whoa! So COOOL!”
The two turned around to see the newly arrived Inners, as well as Neptune. It did lower moral a little to see Sailor Moon drooling at the sight of the youma, much like Minako and Makoto did when a cute guy walked by.
Coughing, she soon calmed her appearance. “As your leader, I would be remise in my duties if I did not fight as well. I shall face this tasty...I mean...abomination to Love and Justice myself.”
Mercury was tapping on her computer. “Made entirely of ice cream? Sailor Moon, I believe it will be weakest if we... Sailor Moon?”
The youma was about to try and use its cannon on the annoying pest currently trying to devour its arm when it felt a similar pain on said arm. Stopping, it looked down to see a Sailor Senshi duplicating the strange boy's actions, trying to devour its cannon arm.
It was safe to assume it soon resumed its screaming again.
“Um, I...I think I need to go help Mom.”
“I think I should help too.”
The youma was soon afraid to find out two new pains had shown up, this time, on its legs.
Looking down, he saw two more Senshi feasting on its legs, and fell down screaming.
“Um,” asked Venus, “do you need our help?”
The others took four steps back after hearing a loud growl, but not really certain which member of the assaulting humans had made it.
Soon, much to the horror and the odd stares of the rest of the Inner Senshi and Sailor Neptune, the youma monster had stopped screaming, as the four members had finished...consuming...it.
The cat-boy simple sat down on his legs, cleaning his face as a cat would, before looking over to the Senshi, who were patting their slightly bulging stomachs.
“Yummy, I wish all youma could be like that!” stated Neo-Sailor Moon.
“Oh, I think I had too much!” said Sailor Saturn, as she laid down on her back, holding back a belch.
“So...yummy...must...have...MORE!” cried out Sailor Moon.
Ranma, however, felt a need to help the other two, as they looked completely covered with ice cream. Walking over to them, he sat between, them.
“Um...can we help you?” asked Saturn.
Ranma just smiled, before he started cleaning their faces like a cat would, causing the girls to stare in surprise before his tongue caused them to start giggling.
Sailor Neptune watched with a twitching eye as her young charge and the future princess were having their faces licked clean by their new house guest.
Sailor Moon was also joining in this twitching, as her daughter was making out essentially with the strange boy. “Neptune?”
“I think water would do a much better job at cleaning them up, don't you agree?” She was trying hard to be the protective mother.
Of course, jealousy didn't enter into it. Nope, not one bit did she wish her Mamo-chan was there to do the same thing for her.
“Yes, Princess.” Neptune pulled out her Deep Aqua Mirror, and pointed it at the group, giving it the barest amount of power. “Deep Submerge.”
A small torrent of water rushed from the mirror. It wasn't forceful enough to injure them, it would just wash them off.
It was only after she had done this that she remembered Ranma's curse, and the fact that her attack struck with cold water.
When the water was done, the two Senshi stared at Neptune with looks that promised pain, as the Inners gasped at the sight that the hunky male was now a busty little redhead.
Ranma stood up, looking at the Senshi before her. She didn't know what she did at the moment, but she knew she at least needed to get away. “I gotta go. Later. Umisenken: Final Stage!”
The Senshi were about to stop the new redhead who had replaced the humble cat-boy, when she faded completely from view.
Ranma took off into the sky using her Flight Technique. She needed time, and wasn't going to get it in a former battle zone.
Man, I need some time to sort this out.
Strangely, I don't feel hungry.
Maybe I should hit an ice cream parlor afterwards?
Ranma brought herself out of the Umisenken's final level, reappearing into normal view above a flat roof. Signing, and rubbing her stomach that felt oddly full, she sat down in the lotus position and entered a meditation mindset.
She knew for certain she had been in the Nekoken, which meant she now had more memories she had to unlock.
The only difference was that now she could delve into her mind and find them. After all, she wanted to be prepared for whatever she had done. My luck I bit some girl or went tomcat.
After a few minutes, she had dived far enough into her subconscious to find...it.
It was the representation of the Nekoken. “Listen, I ain't got time for a long chat right now.”
“I know we still need to work on this...this separation, but I need to know what you did.”
“Why does that not fill me with confidence?”
The response was the hissing of said cat.
“Fine, just show me what went on.”
The cat bowed, before looking into the black ether that was the mental landscape. Soon, a thick rope of fog formed, circling into the air, and forming a small viewing window, that was to replay everything Neko had seen.
First, was the grooming of Diana. “Great, I'll be coughing up pink hairs for a week.”
Second, was the petting from Hotaru and Usa. “Well, at least I know they have a place in my heart.”
“In my heart, you perverted tomcat!”
Then came the battle. Ranma wasn't surprised that he bit into the youma. But it did explain why for once, he didn't have a craving for ice cream.
What really surprised him was when a Senshi with twin blond ponytails bit into the youma's other arm. Soon, one with pink hair and one with dark purple hair bit into its legs, bringing it down as if they were a pack of hungry wolves.
Ranma then watched as him and the three Senshi proceeded to consume the youma. “Damn, reminds me of the Evangelion episode where Unit 01 ate the Angel.”
Soon, it showed what made Ranma goes as red as his female form's hair: he proceeded to lick the faces of the last two Senshi clean. “Oh boy, Usa and Hotaru will kill me! And I liked that home.”
“Meow, meow. Meow.”
“So that was Usa and Hotaru!”
Ranma fell onto her butt. The purple haired Senshi was the one that cut the chain when he had first arrived, allowing him to raise his hand enough to kill it with the Spirit Gun. Now, she just learned that Usa was one as well.
And both were interested in him...well, her at the moment.
Sighing at the injustice of her life, Ranma patted Neko on the head. “Well work on the meditation tonight before bed. I...I...need to talk to them about this. I'm certain they'll have questions I need to answer.”
“Yeah, it ain't going to be short.”
“That would be your solution...pervert.”
As Ranma ascended to the waking world, Neko just sighed. Why was the human so hung up on this? The females all living in the house were attractive. Why shouldn't that be a solution?
The cat went into a new field that had just formed, staring at all the butterflies that it could chase. It missed that purple kitty. It was so soft, so affectionate.
But where was it going to find a female on this world that could do that?
Author's notes: Umisenken: Final Stage: This is a final move of the Umisenken developed by Ranma. In it, the user is totally hidden from sight. In essence, they fade from view like a cloaking device. It is the most difficult to maintain, and Ranma has yet to do it for prolonged time periods. It currently can last for several minutes, but the time grows exponentially smaller as the Flight Technique is combined with it, causing him to both expel more energy, and work harder to hide said energy.