Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Random Kuno ❯ My Dumpling-headed Goddess ( One-Shot )

Dis-lamer

I own nothing, blah blah blah, Rumiko Takahashi and copyright holders, yada yada yada, no infringement intended, ubuti ubuti ubuti, independent piece of fanfiction.

Author's Notes:

This series of Random Kuno is a tribute to the one and only Tatewaki Kuno whom we all have a profound lack of respect for. This time we are going to make fun of Kuno by associating his style of speech with another similar poetic-romantic-freak. And down we go…

Random Kuno - My Dumpling-headed Goddess

Tatewaki Kuno was sitting in his room, looking at pictures of his two beloved girls. That Nabiki Tendo is truly a skilled merchant, and apt at seizing every chance of profit she sees. I will nevertheless pay her price, for she is also the only one in possession of the means and knowledge to produce these wonderful treasures. His thoughts were interrupted by the voice of his sister, Kodachi.

"Dear brother, a young man by the name of Chiba requests your audience."

Tatewaki swiftly replaced the pictures of Ranma and Akane in underwear - separately of course - in his hand to their rightful position in a wooden box in his bottom drawer, which he locked. It is not as if these works of art were a manifestation of sin, but rather of a still one-sided love. However, my family would not understand the quality of my affection. Out loud he said: "Very well. I shall take it out of my valuable time to confer with this friend of mine." He started to walk towards the stairs leading to the ground floor and the front door, but his sister's voice chimed after him.

"Brother dear, he is on the telephone."

"Ah, of course." Tatewaki turned back and took the cordless phone his sister held out. "It is I, Tatewaki Kuno, Blue Thunder of -"

He was cut short by the voice of Mamoru Chiba on the other end of the line. "Hello, man. There's no time for that now. I have an emergency at hand-"

"Speak, my friend."

"-namely I'm sick, and it seems my girl needs a hand again. So could you stand in for me once more, pal? You know, be back in black."

"Certainly, my friend and colleague grandiloquent knight. I will protect thy honour in the eyes of thy chosen maiden."

"Thanks, man. I owe you one. I can do next Monday's morning fight at Furinkan, I've got no classes before noon."

"That would be delightful. I hope you will be rid of your malady as soon as possible, friend. Now, If you will excuse me, I would prepare for the substitution."

"Okay. Try not to get revealed. Bye."

"Until we speak again."

Tatewaki heard the click of the line being closed from the other end, and positioned the phone on a nearby desk. He rushed to his room, closing the door after him. I must hurry myself. It is an unfortunate fact that as Chiba can transform into the noble tuxedo of a defender of the Sailor Scouts, I must suffer the delay of dressing up. He pulled a book in his bookshelf - The Modern Knight - and the shelf slid aside to reveal a small alcove, in which a black tuxedo hung from the ceiling. He began to hastily remove his gi and hakama.

* * *

Sailor Moon hit the wall hard and slumped to the floor. Is this how it will end? A light "pouf" and a flash of light attracted her attention, and behold; Tuxedo Mask had arrived! Although he did look a bit different, but you couldn't really tell with the concealing mask and all that. Tuxedo Mask opened his mouth… and shut it again. He mumbled something under his breath, then straightened up as he announced: "Have faith, my beloved dumpling-headed goddess! Our path together shall not end today. Thee shall find it in thy heart, the strength to carry on this epic crusade against those who seek to lay waste to Tokyo and mankind."

Sailor Moon felt rays of hope tearing apart the shroud of despair, and got up shakily. I can do it. Together with my friends. As she rushed back into the battle, she wondered why Tuxedo Kamen had sounded a bit different today. Dumpling-headed goddess?