Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Reluctant Bet (2nd Labor) ❯ Reluctant Opponent ( Chapter 18 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Reluctant Bet 18 "Here's Ranma, and Belldandy, and Urd, and Ranko, and Longreach, and Furball, and Makoto, and Shan..."

>That title's too long, try something shorter with the "Reluctant" theme.

Reluctant Bet 18 "Reluctant Opponent"

Disclaimer: some scenes and characters written by other people.

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Jared was listening to an earpiece, while behind him a slightly charred panda bear stood muzzled and in chains (mighty, mystical, mithril mook-locks with the optional pickproof attachment and anti-shapeshifter bindings), and the girls stood nicely dressed all around him.

Actually Genma had been rather quiet after he had been dug out of the street. He had a fair sense of self-preservation, honed by years under the Master. That sense had told him that the red-haired bodybuilder with the hammer was quite capable of killing him in what would likely be a very violent fashion, and not feel the slightest bit of remorse.

Genma was not used to the idea that there were bigger and badder fish in the ocean than the late unlamented Master Happosai. The thought that there WERE such individuals, and that one of them was a COUSIN of that Belldandy woman...

The more Genma thought about it, the more he thought Ranma and Belldandy made a good couple.

Jared wasn't listening to Genma's thoughts, otherwise he'd have been in shock by now. "Hang on a minute, he's got them together. It'll be time now in a moment."

Makoto sighed, wishing that timing were not THAT important. But the error light had come back on again when they'd tried to knock earlier.

Jared adjusted his embroidered shirt, remembering Rule Seven: 'In all cases, Ranma will adapt to suit (and here Akane had been crossed out, like in the rest of the book, to be replaced by the words) the favored fiancee.'

Belldandy in that role let him get away with sophistication that the real Ranma rarely ever had. Though he still had to complain about it every so often - it was in the rules.

"So how'd you bug their house, anyway?" Urd, bored, was staring up the street at passing traffic.

"Didn't need to. A phone consists in part of a microphone and a transmitter, and while it's not common knowledge there are ways to activate those without having it ring and while it's still on the base. So any house that has a phone has already been bugged. I'm getting feed from the one in their kitchen, but the software still has to do a ton of filtering. Kasumi's got a pot that will boil over in the next few minutes. Here, I'll put it on speaker."

He removed the earpiece and adjusted a device on his belt.

"If it's so bloody important, why didn't you mention it before NOW?!" Akane's voice shouted from the speaker at low volume. "No matter what you're saying NOW, you said earlier that *I* was the Heir to the Tendo School of Anything Goes! Anyone trying to take that away is gonna get some serious hurt!"

Makoto cracked her knuckles. She grinned at Jared. "Fiancees can beat up fiancees, can't they?" ~After all, the way it has been explained, I defeat the Tendo Heir decisively and I BECOME the Champion of that school. And since it is joining the two 'houses of Anything Goes martial arts'...~

Jared wasn't aware of the thoughts of Makoto either. "There might be special rules. She *is* Akane. That means preferential treatment almost in proportion to how little it's deserved. But by all means, go ahead and do it. Once won't hurt."

Kasumi's voice interrupted their side conversation. "Is he cute? Does he mind his wife having a job?"

"Yes. Airen *very* good looking. And Shan not think so, unless it involve evil. Then Jared kill." Shan looked thoughtful. "Timeline much different, Shan think."

"Disturbances in a timestream can radiate in more than one direction, some flowing back to the past to make further alterations," said Urd, having participated in Toltiir's Bet herself.

Nabiki sounded thoughtful. "Hmmm. Might be good for my image."

"Wouldn't be hard." Jared snorted, smiling fondly anyway as her voice went on.

"What are his religious convictions? Is he thoughtful? Cute? Capable of being nonconfrontational? Able to deal with the concept of a wife who's able to pull in more money than he does?"

Jared looked bemused as he considered a *Nabiki* who was concerned about someone's morality or religious convictions.

Urd practically broke up, stifling giggles, then shot up to count points off her fingers. "Let's see, he's a priest able to command the elements and have them obey, hangs out with off-duty goddesses, and obeys tight religious restrictions... to the point of shooing me out of bed."

Belldandy seemed very pleased. "He's very thoughtful and considerate."

Ranko glomped her big older brother, proud of how pleased he'd make their *new* friends! "And he NEVER beats up ANYONE unless they need it!"

Makoto toyed with some of the jeweled bangles she'd been granted in the Amazon village. "If anyone's capable of making more money than *HE* does, I'd like to see it."

The panda looked depressed, unable to *spend* that money.

After what'd sounded like a slight nervous wait, Soun's voice came over. "I don't know, I've never met him."

"Cue." Jared rang the bell, glad now that he'd summoned a friendly air elemental to clear up all the rainwater for three blocks around.

Now they didn't need to worry about the requisite splashes.

The doorbell rang.

"That must be them!" Soun got up, joy suffusing his features.

"I'm going to finish my workout," Akane announced and proceeded to the dojo.

"I hope he's older than me. Younger men are so... boring." Kasumi arrived to look over her father and younger sister's shoulder at the menagerie outside.

There was a single boy, which Kasumi assumed must be Ranma, wearing a red Chinese-style shirt (embroidered with a golden phoenix) and black pants. Perched on top of their compound wall and grinning down at her was a young girl wearing an almost identical outfit, the embroidery instead being a green dragon. Two girls, one dark skinned with light hair, the other lighter in skin and darker in hair, wore formal kimonos. There was also a tall ponytailed girl at the back of the group, wearing a seifuku.

They'd also brought some animals with them. Two large hunting cats, one lying at Ranma's feet, who managed to look thoroughly bored by the proceedings. There was also a panda, obviously deemed more dangerous than the predators by the number of chains and locks upon it.

All of the group were bearing gifts, including the traditional sorts of things. Kasumi smiled, her sensibilities placated. An attention to proper manners was always a large plus in her book.

The young man bowed respectfully. "Soun Tendo, I presume? And these must be your lovely daughters, Nabiki and Kasumi. Truly, their radiance shines like the sun. My father has told me so much about you."

Soun was eyeing the unchained cats as he pointed a nervous finger at the boy. "You, wouldn't be..."

"Ranma Saotome." The boy finished, pleased at how that'd worked out. Strictly speaking, he'd just admitted to *not* being Ranma.

The cat at Ranma's feet chose that moment to yawn, which display of teeth stopped Soun's hysterical rush before it had even began, so Nabiki interrupted. "Who're your friends?" She asked suspiciously.

The Saotome boy introduced his companions, first turning to one who Kasumi wasn't certain she could be friends with or insanely jealous of. "This is Belldandy."

"How do you do?" The girl bowed perfectly. Kasumi frowned.

The darkly tanned girl that Nabiki was beginning to feel something of an instinctive rivalry towards winked and nodded her head. "I'm Urd. Pleased to meet you as well."

The girl leaning against the gate nodded. "Makoto Jupiter, though Ranma here calls me Lita frequently."

Eyes bugged as the final member of the group (excluding the animals) flapped wings and settled down to the ground in front of the Tendos. "Hi! I'm Ranko Saotome, Ranma's little sister," she chirped merrily with a bow. "I *do* hope we can be friends! Huh? Can we?"

"Ranko," said Jared with a wan smile, embarassed by Ranko's performance. Though wasn't it part of "anime physics" that it was part of the job of little sisters to embarass their brothers? Hmmm. Perhaps in non-anime universes as well...

Ranko pouted. Genma gruffed. Makoto snickered.

The boy smiled a bit wanely at their performance. "I realize that we present quite a picture. And since we are far too many to impose, I went and bought the field next door. We'll be building over the next few days."

It was Nabiki's turn to smile smugly. "It'll take you more than a few days. Why, the permits..."

"Already taken care of, Nabiki-san." The young man smiled more confidently. "And the construction is already contracted. I bought the house next to that, too. And that's where we'll be staying until construction begins. Later I think we'll convert it to an arbor."

"So, Ranma..." Nabiki began, speculative gleam in place. To get the permits and plans done so quickly required either influence or wealth. The right wealth in the right place could put her business firmly in the black, as well as get better equipment for Kasumi's kitchen.

"Please call me Jared." He smoothly interjected. "You might say I prefer it, as it's what my mother always called me since I was tiny. My friends call me that too, Nabiki-san. Do you have an excess of friends, or is there perhaps room for one more?"

"Now look here, son!" Soun interjected, features verging on the hideous demon head. "Just what do you think you're doing coming here with two beautiful girls in tow when honor demands that you marry one of my daughters!?"

"Two?" Urd said dangerously over crossed arms.

Makoto raised chi in a silent threat, certain that this person had just offered insult.

Ranko merely shrugged. She knew she was just a little kid and not that pretty anyway. She lacked the elegance of Belldandy, Urd's sensuality, and Mako-chan's rough-and-tumble attractiveness.

Soun suddenly sweated and rubbed the back of his head. "Uh... I meant four of you of course." He rounded on Jared, hardly missing a beat as he resumed looking hideous. "I would like to hear an explanation of this scandalous behavior!"

"I¹m glad you asked, Mr. Tendo. It saves me bringing it up. You see, I'm afraid my father wasn't very careful and he made more engagements than he had sons. So I'm afraid that some of the arrangements are going to have to wait until a later generation to be fulfilled. Dreadfully sorry." The youth spread his arms helplessly. "But what is a man to do? Honor pulls me in so many ways, you see. The only thing left, really, is to contact the remainder of the engaged parties and to determine who is to be married in this generation and which of them are going to have to wait."

Soun loomed into the hideous demon head, eyes purple and forked tongue waving serpentine before him in the air. Belldandy looked startled, Urd retreated a step, Makoto readied a chi blast (that would likely have dispelled the demon head and a good section of house), Kasumi retreated behind Nabiki who hid behind the doorjam, Ranko hid behind Belldandy, while the young man who was its focus calmly brushed imaginary dust from off his sleeve.

The only visitor *not* to react more-or-less calmly was the hunting cat nearest Jared.

*****

Olympus:

"Ares, dear brother," Eiris said with a smirk. "Can I get your 'tentacle rape computer game collection' after you're reduced to component particles?"

"What are you talking about, Eiris?" Ares drew himself up proudly. "I am the Greek god of conquest and war. WHO would dare?"

"The word from the Fates is that Kami-sama is MOST displeased and he had you in for a little chat."

Ares snorted. "As if. I have powerful friends. Even HE wouldn't do anything to me with it leaving a power gap in place. There must be balance after all."

Eiris dropped the smirk. "Seriously, Ares. Don't doubt for a moment that the gods of evil won't stick up for you. Loki says he considers you like a brother."

"Thanks, sister." Ares said, genuinely touched. "This time, I've got the little rodent and he'll be out of my hair. I'll win that bet with you yet."

"I'm sure you will," Eiris said, eyeing her brother's furnishings with visions of redecorating. "This is your best plan yet."

*****

Asgard:

Celeste eyed the magical Amazon village and its guardian giant robots. [Select] [Copy/Compress] [Save]. She looked at the alteration of reality caused by one Nabiki Tendo watching a newsclip dealing with a young entrepeneur selling ready-made lunches to sararimen. [Select] [Copy/Compress] [Save].

Celeste observed where a Sabre Marionette timeline ended up with the Shogun of Japoness reincarnated as a smurf, winced, and moved on.

Celeste watched a princess of the djinn looking for her fiancee, wondered briefly if she should meddle, and moved on.

A timeline where, after Ranma's death, Shampoo and Akane had become friends and had matured was flagged for followup. Grey had been acting on Heaven's business at the time, and had made a promise that if possible he would 'find an unloved Ranma and send him on' or something to that extent. THAT would have to be observed more carefully, and Grey reminded that making promises was not to be done lightly.

The goddess of J-pop noted what Sakyo was doing on that Sabre Marionette timeline. [Select] [Copy/Compress] [Save].

A yellow flag went up. Thor, impulsive as usual, had put the fear of gods into Genma Saotome. It was containable, providing no further deities started messing with the main characters. Otherwise a reset would be inevitable.

Celeste started double checking the backup files and made an extra copy. Just in case.

*****

Target Timeline:

A purple haired girl holding a staff stood in midair at a height of 1,250 feet and watched a small procession of people entering the Tendo household. Ranko flashed her a thumb's up just before entering, so things were probably going quite well.

Shan ran a quick internal diagnostic. Everything was running as it should. She checked her programming next. Without Sakyo she was quite limited in her abilities. Yet Sakyo had some programming glitch that had caused her to gravitate to Grey/Ranko as a Master, clearly not as acceptable as Jared as a beloved authority figure.

Her mission parameters were mainly "soft" - they could be redone on the fly. The main "hard" things were simple enough:
1) Love and obey Master. His pleasure and safety were paramount. Master set as Jared Saotome, Pheonix Mage.
2) Protect resources (including self) of Master except where conflicting with rule 1.

This led to a third directive: Upgrade capabilities to the point where 1 & 2 could be accomplished.

She was a cyborg embued with the abilities of an Ifurita unit. Current strength would allow her to press over fifty metric tons, current top flight speed in excess of Mach 2, flight ceiling unknown as she still had to breathe. Unlike a normal Ifurita unit, Shan could learn a technique by observing it instead of having to be hit by it. Her Powerkey staff wasn't required to "wind her up" and wouldn't make a difference as far as who her Master was, but it *did* increase her efficiency, extend the range of her senses, and allow her to absorb a wide range of energies.

Shan considered her current techniques. She had a number of spells and martial arts manuevers memorized from observations of her Master. The fight on the Sailorjin world had allowed her to learn a number of chi techniques and powerups. She had learned the Solar Bomb technique from Amaterasu. By being dimensionally transported, she had learned to dimensionally transport. Compared to a human or a normal Ifurita, she was quite powerful.

And yet, her Master had defeated her, and fairly easy. And had commented upon her not being able to win because she lacked 'a noble heart' and 'chivalry'?

Shan cursed. Sakyo would have been able to find someone with those qualities, upload them, and then transfer them TO her. Without Sakyo, Shan felt incomplete. The two had strengths that complimented each other, but with different Masters and duties, they could not interface as well as they should.

She hated to do it, but Shan realized she would have to alter her sister's programming so that Sakyo's glitch was corrected and they both served Jared-sama.

In the meantime though, she needed to practice her newly acquired techniques and that meant finding a place sufficiently deserted that no one would be inconvenienced at the removal of a few mountains.

*****

The heavily bandaged Soun Tendo eyed the great cats playing in the backyard. Ok, maybe the dreaded "Tendo School Final Attack: Demon Head Of Outrage" wasn't that good an idea when there were large carnivores to startle. "Uhm..."

Kasumi looked at the little bundle of energy trying not to do anything and fidgeting as a result. "Ranko-chan, would you like to help me in the kitchen?"

The look Ranko turned on Kasumi (accompanied with "light from above" and angelic chorus in the background) proclaimed "friend for life" status had just been bestowed. "Really?!"

Kasumi nodded and got up, noting that Ranko looked to her big brother for permission. When that had occurred, Ranko followed with a cute "Wai! Yatta!"

One source of potential trouble down, Jared noted. Shan was off on a "shakedown and maintenence" period for this afternoon. Ranko's enthusiasm for cooking would keep her from underfoot for awhile.

Soun cleared his throat. "Now son. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU HAVE OTHER FIANCEES?!"

Jared made a slightly sweeping gesture with the fingers of one hand. "There have been... complications. If you play your cards right, there is still a chance to realize your dream."

"There are complications," agreed Soun. "If I play my cards right, there is still a chance to realize my dream."

Nabiki stared at her suddenly calm father.

"Patience is a virtue," said Jared in a reasonable tone. "This is not the right time or way to press the issue."

Soun calmed further. "Patience is a virtue. This isn't the right time or way to press the issue."

"I thought that Jedi mind trick was only supposed to work on... never mind." Nabiki sat back with a disgusted look.

Correctly interpreting her distaste, Jared's preference for THIS Nabiki went up a notch. "I'm sorry, Nabiki-san, and it isn't lightly done, but I've an idea of how much trouble this could cause later."

Makoto pointed out an error light.

"I know, 'No main character ever shows foresight or the ability to deal with long term results.' But there exists a precedent!" Jared smiled at Nabiki. "Nabiki, what's going on with your business?"

"Uhm," Nabiki hesitated but knew that the average boy her age couldn't deal with a business saavy, career-oriented, girl. If this guy couldn't deal with it, better to find out right away. "Well, right now me and Kasumi are selling bentos and juice at a couple of office buildings, also at school. I've got a deal pending where we may become 'proud purveyors of Yamamotoyama teas' which would actually be pretty good as having official status gets us in on some of the marketing perks. We're sticking away from Suntory and the like, but..."

Jared smiled as Nabiki's enthusiasm started running away with her, her expression betrayed her open enjoyment of making an honest yen. He murmurred a couple of appropriate questions and watched her smile grow at the realization that someone UNDERSTOOD the pleasure of taking an open niche, working hard, and bringing in a paycheck.

The error light had gone out rather quickly.

Jared was quickly deciding he LIKED this Nabiki. A cloud passed over his face though as he remembered the Tendo Twins.

"Ranma, are you okay?" Nabiki asked in concern, breaking off a monologue about knowing your marketshare and accessories that she was able to get from various distributing companies and resell for less than the big retailers. "You looked like someone just kicked you in the stomach."

"No, I'm okay. And please, call me Jared."

*******

About the same time, in a kitchen not far away, two warriors prepared to battle the demons of hunger.

"What is that?"

"German potato salad! I noticed you had all the ingredients!" Ranko grinned. "Big sister Kasumi, what are you making there?"

"Well, tonight is a bit of an occasion, so I thought broiled squid... Is something wrong, Ranko-chan?" Kasumi saw the way the little girl winced and thought that here was someone who should *never* play poker.

"Uhm, Kasumi-oneechan? Big brother *really* doesn't like squid, or octopus, or stuff like that. He..." Ranko tried to remember what Urd had told her earlier. "I think he grew up mainly on American style fast food."

"Oh. I don't know how to make anything like that." Kasumi wondered what horrible experiences Ranma must have gone through that he didn't like squid.

"How about a compromise!" Ranko suggested, a contagious enthusiasm showing. "Ever have spaghetti?"

"No..." Kasumi wasn't sure about this 'spaghetti' but she found herself warming to the fourteen year old.

"I'll show you. It's sort of like Lo Mein with red sauce..." Ranko proved that the Saotomes were capable of more than *eating* food at high speed. Ingredients blurred in midair as Ranko named off each one before they ended up in the pot. "Now this is the sauce and you let it simmer. The longer it simmers the better. Normally I would've suggested portobello mushrooms, but you only had shitake."

"Ranko, you splashed yourself with tomato paste." Kasumi suppressed a giggle at the thin trail of red puree that had escaped Ranko's attempts. "It's on your mouth."

"Oops. Sorry oneechan. You've got a spatter on your neck. Let me get it."

"Hey, Kasumi I... WHAT?!"

Kasumi looked towards where Akane was standing in the kitchen doorway, staring. "Oh hello, Akane. This is Ranko. She's ..."

"A vampire," interrupted Akane, taking in those fangs, those reddish wings, the thin reddish stain on Kasumi's neck. The red stain the vampire had near her mouth. It was obvious, really. Daylight or not, her ditzy sister was being attacked by a vampire.

"Huh?" Kasumi and Ranko looked at each other. "What?"

"Ahhhh! And it's got you under some sort of perverted vampire mind control!"

Ranko smiled. "I'm sorry, but I don't have any idea what you're talking about. I'm Ranko, do you want to be fri-"

Akane thrust a handful of garlic at the vampire. Actually it was garlic powder, but a miracle of sorts had nonetheless occurred. Akane was in the kitchen and had actually grabbed the ingredient she wanted.

"Oh, thanks, uhm, whoever you are. This is just what we need." Ranko turned back to the cookpot, glad that they were all going to be friends now. "If you add garlic now it'll permeate the other ingredients. You want to make the meatballs and spaghetti seperately so they can be added later. Now if you "

*WHAM!*

Ranko dropped to the floor, a small lump forming on her head.

"And that's MY apron you're wearing." Akane slapped the end of the rolling pin into her other hand. "Now where can I find a mallet and stake..."

*spack!*

"AKANE!" Kasumi scolded, holding her hand. It really HAD hurt her worse than it had her sister. "She was a guest and helping me in the kitchen. How could you?"

A crowd quickly formed drawn by the incredibly rare event of Kasumi sounding ANGRY!

Nabiki saw the thin ooze of blood from the scalp wound on the girl sprawled on the floor, then glanced at the pot. "Don't like spaghetti, Akane?"

"But I..."

*SLAP!*

Nabiki winced and held her hand. Damn, but she'd wanted to do that for awhile. It hurt, but it was worth it. "Stop making excuses, Akane!"

*WHAP!*

"Akane, get ahold of yourself!" Soun said, crying that he'd had to strike his little girl.

"Oh my," said Belldandy, shrugging. She merely left her place in line for the next person.

*CLANG!*

Urd looked at the dent that resembled Akane's face in the skillet and put it aside. "Did I hear a remark about a stake and a mallet? You hurt Jared's sweet little sister, and you'll suffer."

Makoto grinned, slapped her fist into the open palm of the other hand and started forward. Only to be stopped by Jared. After all, they were indoors. Makoto hitting Akane = large hole in kitchen.

*WHACK!*

Genma had found some hot water and loomed over Akane. How he got out of the shackles would remain a mystery for now. "You HURT my little girl! Striking from behind like some honorless ninja! Get ahold of yourself!"

"Ohhh! My little girl has no honor!" Soun began wailing. "She picks on the weak and attacks from behind!"

"She turned her back, really! Kasumi, you saw her..." Akane's voice trailed off under the combined glares. "Fine. Now I've got some MORE frustration to work off."

Ranko slowly pulled herself up, tears showing. "Don't. Please. Not on my account. I'm sorry Akane. I... I'm sure I must have been a bad girl somehow. I'll try not to do it again."

Soun blinked and seemed to notice something for the first time. "Genma?! Where did you come from?"

*****

Shan dipped and jagged and swooped like a hummingbird on PCP. She labelled it "Evasive Manuever Set One".

The Russian Air Force called it a vast number of things, most of which could not be repeated in polite company.

She would occasionally ride a missile as if it were a surfboard, hopping off a moment later. She had *tried* pulling up to a cockpit and explaining that she was passing through and wasn't it a lovely day for flying.

Somehow none of the various jets (Shan had no idea which were Migs and which were some other kind of plane) had pilots who didn't seem inclined to be reasonable.

Which meant that Shan had to dodge a lot of attacks over a lot of miles, and as her navigational systems weren't as advanced as Sakyo's sensors, she went a little off course.

When she had crossed the border into China, she wasn't sure. Except that now there were TWO groups of planes lobbing missiles at her. And each other. They didn't seem that picky.

Shan was seriously giving consideration to the concept of using a dimensional gate just to get out of the freefire zone.

"Shan had enough this crap!" The cyborg Amazon dove to treetop level then headed back to Nerima at best speed, ignoring the effects of the double sonic boom this had on her immediate surroundings. Maybe her airen could just teleport her into a decent training ground.

********8

"For the honor of the Tendo School, and as its Heir," Akane frowned at the damn vampire. She'd TRICKED Akane into beating her into unconsciousness. "I challenge you!"

"Akane that really isn't necessary," protested Soun.

"You're willing to give away the dojo, MY dojo! When Kasumi and Nabiki started in on their business, abandoning the Art, you declared that *I* would be your Heir! Now this BOY and his pet vampire blows in and I'm just an 'also-ran'? I don't think so!"

Kasumi leaned closer to Nabiki and asked for a reminder to switch Akane to decaf.

"No." Jared answered simply and succintly, or so he thought.

"Oh, so you're a coward?" Akane did her best smugly superior smirk.

Urd fell backwards laughing, which kind of spoiled the mood.

"Oniisan, what's a coward?"

Jared sighed. "Ranko-chan, a coward is someone who lets fear rule them."

"Oh." Ranko accepted this, she'd puzzle it out later.

"And no, Tendo. Rule 17 'Ranma does not pick on the weak.'" He didn't mention the 'Ranma does not hit Akane' or 'Ranma must repeatedly insult people who annoy him' rules. No point in going into massive expository dialogue in this kind of stock scene.

"Weak?" Akane held up a finger. "Excuse me, did a certain loud mouthed braggart who associates with undead refer to me as 'weak'?"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up." Urd held up a hand defensively at Jared's wince. "Oh come on, you know you blow your own horn pretty loud."

"Hmmmph," hmmmphed Jared, completely disagreeing. He just found himself in situations where confidence and superior talent made themselves known. Well, that and he had a certain desire to lend help in spectacular fashion and do it all with style.

Of course, that 'hanging out with the undead' jibe hit a bit close to home. They couldn't have known about Mira, he was sure. But what was one supposed to do with a vampiress that falls in love with you? He'd gotten her restored to life as quick as he could, which had led to a brief period of service to a certain elven queen to get the spell done, but...

All from a silly Love curse cast on a trapped scroll he'd been cataloging from a minor treasure heist. Its trigger had been actually *seeing* a suitable target, so he'd adventured blindfolded for weeks. But he'd kept doing good deeds, and all these grateful people kept volunteering to cure him, and one high level priestess actually flubbed her attempt and got the curse *transferred* to her, and of course she'd been staring at him at the time, which led to her revealing she was an extremely powerful vampiress and all the local plots she'd been behind, which led him to destroying an army of ghouls that had secretly been preying on travelers...

Come to think of it, he was rather glad certain dimensional companions had been left behind. Mira wasn't precisely good, and yet still wasn't evil anymore either, and could be rather Kodachi-like when it came to how much destruction she'd condone in order to protect her One True Love.

That silly love curse had resisted ALL attempts at dispelling.

No, little Ranko was nothing like a true vampire. If one bit her he'd get diabetes. Before Jared killed him for doing it, of course.

"So he doesn't fight wimps, I can get behind that," agreed Makoto.

"'Wimps'?" Akane twitched a couple of times at that.

"What's a 'wimp'?" Ranko wished that oniichan and his friends would stop using these unfamiliar terms. Of course, if they were speaking English instead of Japanese all the time...

"A person who is a pushover in a fight, you know, someone really weak but who insists on using their fists anyway." Urd never had a problem saying what was on her mind. In pure physical fisticuffs, she wasn't much herself, but then she never engaged in combat on THAT level anyway.

"A weakling, or merely someone who is pathetic." Makoto thought. "Though Ami isn't that good a fighter and I wouldn't call her a wimp. Maybe someone who is prone to solving problems through violence, but isn't actually that good a fighter? How about someone with a power rating of five or less?"

"Oh dear," Belldandy tried to find some nice way to explain this to Ranko. "I think it would be simpler to say that while Jared-san fights and kills evil, it is also important to differentiate between the truly evil and the merely misguided."

Akane twitched some more. "'Weak'? 'Wimp'? 'Pushover'? 'Weakling'? 'Pathetic'?"

"Oh dear. Akane is actually quite good. I've heard she manages to beat up a number of boys at school every day." Kasumi stuck up for her sister. "She may be a violent maniac, but she can be a very nice girl. Or at least she used to be before..." How to explain that Akane had changed since she found that hammer?

"Yeah, the champions of most of the school clubs. At least the ones that have gone along with Kuno's challenge. Of course, that includes the Chess Club and Dance Club as well as the Sumo Club, but..." Nabiki's voice trailed off as she realized she wasn't helping. If anything, Akane was looking angrier.

"Oh," Ranko repeated. "Well, I ought to go check the pot, it needs to be stirred every so often."

Akane's eyes found a target. "Oh, so YOU'RE a wimp now? Or is it a coward? I'll challenge YOU if you're brother's too upstanding to fight me."

Ranko looked uncomfortable. "I don't like violence."

"Daughter, it's of no use," Genma sighed wearily. "She has offered insult and formal challenge. It is now a matter of family honor for you to fight her."

********

Asgard:

Celeste frowned as she compared some data. This didn't make any sense. Thumbing an intercom modeled off an old episode of Star Trek, Celeste attempted to draw someone else's attention to the problem. "Has someone been playing with the Second Labor Timeline?"

"That's just Thor's protest of Genma's actions. It evens out a bit more later on according to predictors, and really only effects Genma directly." Ishtar was being less condescending than usual. Mainly due to preoccupation regarding her attempts to get that Grey fellow involved with a nice girl and show up those rank amateurs who only THOUGHT they were gods or goddesses of love.

"No, not that." Celeste sniffed a little distastefully. She didn't like most Akane Tendos, but THIS was peculiar. "Take a look at the astral and dimensional patterns I'm sending."

"Yeah, I... What the blazes?! That's infernal corruption, how did AKANE get that?" Ishtar sounded thoughtful. "Any chance Ryoga got lost and ended up in that 'Needful Things' place like he did in XO-241811?"

"Ryoga hasn't even met Akane at this point." Celeste scribbled down a note to take a look at that timeline. It sounded amusing. "You're right though, it *does* look like infernal influence and it is definitely some deliberate tampering. I'll look closer and see if there's any indication as to how. Though the whole thing is likely shielded."

"Just do what you can, this is likely to cause another Reset if it came from our end."

**************

"Okay, here's your temporary IDs." Joe handed cards out to the three former goddesses.

"I'm sorry, but this name isn't right." One Belldandy looked down at the card. The picture was right, that was her face without goddess markings.

"Name changes for simplicity," replied Joe. "You are now registered as Verdani, a True Elf operative of the Rival Relief Office."

"But isn't the RRO..." the other former Belldandy began then bit her lip.

"Oddballs, misfits, the incompetent, and those who simply aren't suited for other offices?" Joe shrugged. "What can I say? The RRO was formed as a group of misfits, and most of our operatives graduate on to bigger and better things. You, on the other hand, have been accepted into the Goddess Relief Office where you will assist Celeste in file maintenence."

"Oh so my name is now 'Urge?'" The former Urd frowned. "So I'm now a demigoddess of love? THAT could be handy."

"Best we could do at this time. Both you and Belle are goddesses FOURTH class." Joe shrugged. "Belle gets to work at the GRO. Verdani and Urge, you're both going to intern at the RRO until openings develop. Verdani, I don't think you'll be here long - they really like the idea of another Belldandy to help cover the slack."

"What about me?" Urd preened.

"Do you know how MANY demerits you've got?" Joe made a disgusted noise. "I'm surprised you weren't demoted to the Rival Relief Office AGES ago."

"Gee thanks."

***************

Target Timeline:

The Tendo dojo had seen better days.

Once, a young woman had led her eldest daughter in a dance of silvered lightning. Once, a young man had taught his students in the way of the Art. Once, the dojo had been a thriving thing and the main source of income for the household.

Now, Kasumi often practiced her imperfect naginata work in the yard instead of inside the dojo. Soun Tendo had not taken students in quite some time, those that had been present in those olden days had drifted away. A sensei with no control, no discipline, was less than inspiring. The dojo was Akane's now, and she hadn't adequately cleaned after her afternoon workout.

"You know that this isn't a big deal, I don't WANT the Tendo dojo." Jared shrugged. "The style is 'Anything Goes' after all, and it is fairly powerful as such things go. A dojo is not even necessarily the best way to teach the style."

"SHUT UP!" Akane yelled. "A dojo is more than a building, this is about honor and family and carrying on a name and tradition! This is more than a sparring match to determine who gets some building, it is about justice and the keeping of promises, it is about taking control of your future and about standing up for what you believe in."

Everyone stared at Akane briefly. Belldandy nodded, keeping promises was very important.

Urd wondered if there was some bleedover between resets since that was something Akane had said in "Cat Scratch Fever."

"But why do *I* have to fight?" Ranko didn't like this idea.

"It's not a fight, it's just a sparring match," said Genma. "It'll be over soon, just give it your best shot."

Ranko stood nervously, her wings fluttering behind her. "Okay, Akane, I'll try not to hurt you..."

Akane twitched again.

"Begin," Nabiki said, her hand cutting the air.

Akane charged the timid-looking redhead. She punched, kicked, and was on an all out offensive.

Ranko shrieked, apologized repeatedly, and dodged everything that the taller girl threw.

"FIGHT ME!"

"I don't wanna! Hurting people unnecessarily is wrong!"

"THIS IS NECESSARY!" Akane kicked out, this time in a legsweep that Ranko hopped over.

Ranko continued to hover in midair, looking quite upset. "Please, Akane, can't we be friends?"

"AAGGHHHHH!" Akane was now frustrated beyond words. She leapt, caught the hovering girl, and slammed her into the floor. "THERE!"

The moment of silence was broken by a sniffle and a broken sob as Ranko rolled to her feet, back turned to Akane. "You're MEAN!"

"YOU!" Akane's punch was stopped by a hand grasping her fist as Ranko turned a tearful face towards her.

"MEANIE!" Ranko threw Akane, but kept her grip on Akane's hand. *SLAM!* "MEANIE!" *SLAM!* "You're cruel!" *SLAM!* "Mean!" *SLAM!* "Bully!" *SLAM!* "Baka!" *SLAM!* "Baka!" *CRUNCH!* "Baka!" *CRUNCH!* "Baka!" *SMASH!"

"That had to hurt," remarked Makoto after seeing Akane slung about like a rag doll, making little Akane-shaped indentations in the walls and floor.

"Waaaaaah!" Ranko cried, doing an excellent Soun Tendo impression.

Jared looked in the really deep Akane hole to see the figure that had gone through the dojo floor and was imbedded in the ground underneath. "Just be grateful you didn't fight me."

Ranko stopped sniffling slowly. "Oh no! Akane-chan! I HURT her. Oh no. Oniichan, do you have any bandages?"

Jared blinked. "Well yeah..." In fact he had a roll of infinite bandages, not that he used it that much.

"I know some first aid, let me have them, I need to do this to help make up for my lapse," Ranko looked like she was going to unleash another barrage of crying.

"O-kay," said Jared slowly, hoping he wasn't going to regret this.

*************

Everyone continued to stare at the results of Ranko's nursing attempts.

"MMMMFfffff! Mmmmmffff!" The mummy sitting in Akane's spot seemed to have something to say.

"What's that, Akane-chan? Do you want some spaghetti?" Ranko asked the white lump.

"MMMmffff!"

"Maybe she wants to apologize," suggested Belldandy.

"Maybe she wants to know where you studied first aid," theorized Urd.

"Maybe she wants to breathe," said Nabiki thoughtfully.

"MMMMFFFF! MFFFFFF!"

"Uhm, Ranko," Jared said, ignoring the struggling coccoon not far from him, "why are you being so nice to someone who thinks you're an undead monster?"

"Because, oniichan, Akane's just upset at a lot of things out of her control." Ranko patted the mound on her head like a puppy, which brought more shaking and muffled noise from within. "She just doesn't get a lot of love or affection in her life, has tried to replace it with anger, and once she understands I'm not the enemy, I'm *sure* we can be good friends!"

Jared nodded, ignoring the little floating hearts and bunnies that had accompanied that speech. "Uh huh. Yeah, right. Well if you're set on this, and I think you're making a BIG mistake, but this might give you a fighting chance:
"So you do not Ranko menace,
Here's a curse to do you penance,
Whenever hurt to her you seek,
All strength from your limbs will leak.
If instead you seek to befriend,
The curse will then be at an end."

"Oniichan?" Ranko blinked.

"Belldandy, can you redo Akane's bandages?" Jared raised an eyebrow. "I'd ask Urd but I saw her playing with her alchemy set earlier."

"Oh darn." Urd scowled briefly. There went THAT plan.

*************

The hours had gone by amusingly. If nothing else, the pictures Nabiki got of Ranko spoonfeeding a weak-as-a-baby Akane had potential. The strength had gradually been returning to Akane, but it was doubtful that anything more would be attempted soon.

They had all made their goodbyes, though Ranko had been nearly forcibly torn away from Akane because she felt so bad about Akane being so helpless.

Once Shan had come by, introductions had been made and farewells given. Jared had a lot to do tonight, after all.

Jared floated in a lotus position, a purple-haired cyborg Amazon keeping watch while he went Astral and thought things out.

Jared Saotome had two immediate goals. Small things, really. Stuff anyone might want to accomplish.

One, just to remain un-bored, was to challenge Makoto and get some serious sparring in. No reason to slack off on what was a seriously juicy training opportunity. That's what Ranma DID after all, wasn't it? Might as well indulge. Though considering they'd probably have to go back to her homeworld just to find a landscape sufficiently blasted that nobody would miss it, maybe they'd better find something a little closer to home for the light stuff.

A contest between them to see who could kill the most Yakuza without collateral damage each night? Sounds good. Open season on organized crime. Have to give Shan a handicap as she didn't need any sleep. They could lay some rules down and make a game of it!

On to the second point. How would he, just an ordinary average Joe such as he was, get his hands on that Metal Siren and make it his own?

Jared had tried convincing himself that he didn't need it, his own veritech was tricked out to the nines. But two whole generations of extra technology, and that plasma spear! Okay, some elements of the design seemed a little dorky. Obviously not enough pilots with real experience were on the design team, but still!

The trouble was not the new veritech, though. Much as it hurt to say it. No, the trouble was all of the technology BEHIND that ship! Even if he got ahold of it he'd have to learn to repair it, things like that don't remain undamaged, at least not long. Then there was the matter of upgrades. His own plane was as sweet as it was only because he'd spent the time in coveralls getting grease all over himself doing the work needed to make it really fly.

At this point he didn't even know what the weakness of that new fighter WAS, but he was eager to find out.

No, grabbing the fighter was not a problem. He could do it. Getting the design specs, production reports, finding the places where the military had cut cost and go back in and do it *right!* He needed to know the metallurgy, the advances in internal systems, heh, he needed to catch up on all of that know-how they'd used to BUILD THE SUCKER! More importantly, going back to some world where pilots had used them in combat and listen to his peers about what they'd done or cajoled their mechanics into doing. Then go up against a foe where he could test what worked.

There were times when he really missed that campaign on Mars. A target rich environment, by any standards.

There were some pilots who'd covered their canopy with stickers indicating kills. A very few of the real elites lived long enough and got 'clusters', stickers indicating groups of tens. If that whole campaign hadn't been classified, Jared Saotome would have been up for a special category of cluster indicating thousands. Just on the confirmed kills caught on his flight recorder - parts of which had been declassified in order to make motivational films.

Jared came up on the Nichieju village again, and again slipped through the wards he had designed without so much as a whisper. Whoever or whatever had been adding bits and pieces to the village had clearly stopped.

An earth elemental he'd asked to spy reported that there were FIVE of the underground bunkers. Which meant a sentai group or something similar. It figured, he WAS in an anime, after all.

On a hunch, Jared examined the first of the vehicles, the robo-Shampoo. He found what he was looking for soon enough, though he had to stare at it as he had been expecting a spell and this was simply... alien.

A brief visit to a plane called Aramar had introduced him to something similar. It was called god-metal by some, but was mainly referred to as clothu or something similar. It could look like metal or cloth or some sort of ceramic, most often exhibiting properties of a metal-ceramic. It was actually an alien form of life, symbiotic in nature, that was empathic but not intelligent.

The robo-Shampoo's "plastic" was made of something similar. It was so alien that a response from a "Detect Life" spell came back inconclusive, but the closer he checked the more certain he was.

Damage to the plastic Shampoo would eventually heal, missiles would eventually regrow to replace those that were fired.

His suspicions proved founded when he determined that the Metal Siren had likewise been "infected" by the lifeform. This also explained why the five bunkers were contained as well as they were. The lifeform was in a communicable stage right now, and would spread to items of metal or plastic or even some types of plant fibers if allowed.

If it was like the Aramarian "clothu" - that communicable stage would only last a few days.

What made the material so valuable on Aramar, being MUCH more precious than gold, was that once an item had "bonded" with an owner - the stuff could "evolve" as the skills and powers of its owner increased. Part of what the clothu got out of the deal was this increase in its own capabilities, as well as the mobility and experience of its partner.

The Metal Siren was 70% infected, with no outward sign of the infection except a couple of gemlike decorations - actually sensory organs.

Jared considered carefully and wondered how he could use this information to his best advantage.

Then he was interrupted by the sound of Jusenkyo. Screaming.

*****

Asgard:

"Oh my," said Belle to Celeste.

"Damn, SOMEONE'S been busy." Celeste did another backup of the Nichieju village and Jusenkyo, writing over the previous copy. "Kinda neat though. If I restored from a backup, let's see what would happen."

"Ce-chan, that's not a simulator."

Celeste nodded, not hearing the comment as she was concentrating on the old Fubar Corporation device. "Yeah. Running this back... Oh, hello. Look at this."

Belle looked over the image. "Looks like it automatically retroactives the Magical Hidden Village concept. Now Ranma is the Sacred One spoken of in ancient scrolls who will return just a few years prior to the 'Time Of Greatest Need.' Shampoo is raised to be the Bride of the Chosen One, just as Cologne and Comb and the others of her line were all slated for that honor - only allowing themselves to get into a relationship and have kids when it was apparent that Ranma wouldn't appear."

"See here- things progress relatively normally until Ranma visits the village. A line of the prophesy says 'Jusenkyo kissed' so naturally when this girl is given the Kiss Of Death - someone splashes Ranma just to be sure." Celeste chuckled at the now completely divergent scene. "Ranma doesn't even know that he's been married until..."

"Oh my," said Belle and Celeste simultaneously, blushing.

"She's certainly, uhm, enthusiastic." Celeste switched the image off. "Well, I'd say that THAT Ranma wouldn't be quite so shy around girls very long."

Belle merely nodded. A glance was exchanged and they turned the "simulation" back on.

*****

Jared came to Jusenkyo, cautiously even though this was merely his Astral form therefore an invisible ghost to most people.

Physical senses didn't tell him anything.

Magical senses showed the same chaos, though there were subtle differences.

Empathic senses revealed that the maliciousness and smugness permeating the valley from the spirits of Jusenkyo had vanished. If it were physically possible, Jusenkyo would be cringing.

Jared looked over the pools and noted that the templates on a number of pools had been altered.

Spring of Drowned Beautiful Girl, Spring Of Drowned Handsome Man. Both springs now had an additional line in their transformative curses. Spring Of Drowned Flying Pig now, as Duck and Pig had been combined somehow. Spring Of Drowned Panda had been combined with Spring Of Drowned Drunk, to make a Spring Of Drowned Drunken Panda.

Some springs had been replaced entirely. That HAD been Spring Of Drowned Frog. He read it now as transforming the victim into... a randomly determined Pokemon? Spring Of Drowned Elf? Spring Of Faerie Princess? (If Jared was reading this right, this last included lines of inhuman beauty, noble behavior, and royal grace.)

Hot water springs, cold water springs, and springs that didn't depend on water temperature but used another trigger.

Sparing another glance at the Spring Of Drowned Faerie Princess, Jared wondered if Shan would mind flying a certain panda over and dunking him. 'Noble behavior'...

****

A pretty typical 'Ranma meets the Tendos' scene... yeah right.

Akane gets bashed. The worst beating being from someone who is genuinely trying to befriend Akane.

Clothu - something from my AD&D days after watching a whole lot of anime, especially after noticing some of the things about giant robots and armored heroes.

Ranma as a hero of prophesy? Yes, he'd have to grow into the role, but Shampoo might be able to (ahem) convince him.

Different Jusenkyo Springs.