Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ A Weird Day ❯ One-Shot

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Legal Disclaimer:
Ranma, Akane and Pansuto-Tarô belong all to Takahashi Rumiko-sensei, Kitty Films, Shogakukan, Viz Communications, RTL and all the other licensees.
I, of course, belong to myself.

Misscat: Wrong, his ass is mine. :P


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[Earth. Zoom in on the Eurasian continent. Farther to AsiaNow we see JapanZoom in further to Tokyo. The camera pans in on Nerima, still zooming in. On a road by a canal, we see a man walking along. He has his long, dark-brown hair in a pigtail. He is dressed in a red shirt and black cargoes and he wears glasses. He looks a little lost, though...]

Ranma-sensei: [looking around wildly] Where the hell am I? [thinks] And why the hell was that just in English?

[He sees a huge gate to the right, with a sign beside it. He is just about there, when he hears shouting from beyond the wall.]

Woman's voice: [screams] Ranma no baka!

[There is a noise of breaking wood. Before Ranma-sensei can react, something crashes through the wall. He sees a flash of red before he is knocked down.]

Man's voice: [mutters] Aw geez, no again! [shouts] Oi, Akane! You hit another passer-by!

Ranma-sensei: [thinks] Akane? [blacks out]

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[Ranma-sensei awakes on a futon. Looking about, he sees a young woman of about thirty years with half-long raven hair and a young man about the same age with his black hair in a pigtail sitting beside him. He squints in confusion.]

Woman: Oh, he's awake. [bows low] I am sorry, honoured stranger.

Man: [chuckles] Yeah, sorry she threw me at you.

Woman: [growls] Ranma...!

Ranma: [backs away quickly] No, wait! I apologize! Please, Akane!

Akane: [grins] You're pathetic. [sobers] Well, anyway: I hope you can forgive my mistake. [bows again]

Ranma-sensei: [still squints between the two] Um, uh... No problem. [remembering something] Uh, where exactly am I?

Ranma: [grins] Geez, Akane, you didn't have ta hit me SO hard.

Akane: [whacks Ranma] Baka. [to Ranma-sensei] You are at the Tendô residence. I am Saotome Akane, and this [points to Ranma] is Saotome Ranma, my... [mutters something inaudible before continuing] husband. May I ask your name?

Ranma-sensei: Oh! Yes, uh... [sits up quickly and moves to kneel before them] Dehler Diether desu. Sumimasen. [bows to the ground]

Ranma: No need ta be sorry. [smirks] You were lucky. I've seen people look worse after that. [interest starting to burn in his eyes] Say, do you do martial arts?

Ranma-sensei: [sweatdrops] Um, you see, I... My last lessons were when I was twelve and... I kinda like my life.

Ranma: [falters] Oh? Well, worth asking.

Akane: [shakes head] Isn't it enough that I spar with you? And every second week you spar with Ryôga, so what's the big deal?

Ranma: [sighs] I guess yer right. It's just been ta quiet these past few weeks...

Ranma-sensei: [looking nervous] I, uh, don't want to burden you with my presence. I think I'll take my leave. [stands up]

Akane: [stands up as well] As you wish.

[Ranma stands up, too, and the two of them start to lead Ranma-sensei out of the guest room he was lying in, and down the stairs. Ranma-sensei looks around interestedly.]

Ranma-sensei: [thinks] This is weird. This looks so very much like in the manga and anime. Is this for real?

[Ranma-sensei is led to the door. Just as he is to leave through the gate...]

Voice: [roars]

Ranma: Oh, geez...

[Ranma-sensei turns just in time to see the martial artist being drenched with water. He watches in wonder as the pig-tailed man grows breasts and looses about fifteen or so centimeters in height. Contrary to what he awaits to see, Ranma's hair stays black.]

Onna-Ranma: [growls] Nani sunde!? [looks toward a giant, minotaur-looking creature with tentacles and tiny wings on his back and a snake for a tail.] Yo, Pansuto-yarô, what's it this time?

Ranma-sensei: [splutters] Wh-Wha-What's going on here?!

[Beast-Tarô turns, sees the bystander, and grins evilly. He then charges Ranma-sensei. The man, being perplexed, fails to do anything. Suddenly he is tackled by onna-Ranma.]

Onna-Ranma: Baka yarô! Stay outta the way. [jumps up and runs toward Tarô]

[Akane, meanwhile, is firing minor ki blasts at Beast-Tarô, needling him. One of the blasts propels the man-turned-beast to the side, and he impacts the ground close to Ranma-sensei, who is hit by a chunk of concrete and blacks out.]

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Voice: [sounds far away] ...-ther. [grows stronger] ...-iether. [stronger still] ...Diether. [suddenly too loud] DIETHER!!!

[Ranma-sensei jerks upright, and falls off the sofa. The file that had been lying on his legs impacts him.]

Ranma-sensei: Au! [turns to his wife] Jasmin, was soll der Scheiß!?

Misscat: [grumbles] Entschuldigung, der Herr! Aber wolltest Du nicht aufräumen? [crosses arms]

Ranma-sensei: [grows nervous] Ähm, okay, okay. [stands up] Ich mach's ja.

[Misscat stomps out of the room, cursing her husband's obsession with Ranma ½ for the umpteenth time.]

Ranma-sensei: [looks around the room at all the files containing Ranma FanFictions.] Überdosis Ranma.

[He squats down to pick up the file that fell onto him from the floor. Shortly looking over the title (Daigakusei no Ranma), he stands up and puts it away into his Ranma shelves]


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Author's notes:
This sorta popped up in my head Sunday night. Funny thing is: I dreamt that I WROTE the story, rather than being a part of it. ^^°

Sorry for the german parts, but I felt it would destroy the story to have me still speaking English after the dream ended.

Oh, and on a personal note (because of a review I got): The end is a parody on myself, no my wife. She's getting totally frustrated, because I tend to read and daydream and then forget to do the housework assigned to me. Imagine having to live with such a person. *drops*