Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Life of Chaos ❯ Morning Classes ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Life of Chaos

Prologue - An Insane Day

Chapter 3 - Morning Classes

By: Lord Archive

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.


The returning students to Furinkan knew well enough to not do anything in class if Ms. Hinako was an adult. When she was a child, she was easily distracted, but as an adult very little could escape her notice. Unfortunately, the new students didn't know that.

Ms. Hinako had noticed that Tsubasa was very engrossed in writing something. It was only when he started folding it up that she decided to see what he had written. She was at his desk when Tsubasa prepared to pass it to Ukyou, and she took it from his hands.

Ms. Hinako blushed as she read it. "Pervert! Happo go en Shatsu!"

Tsubasa took an unscheduled nap.

Ms. Hinako started ripping up the note. She wasn't about to embarrass any student, even Ukyou, by reading the contents of it. While continuing to rip it up, she scowled at the class. "I may have been lenient before classes started today, but I will not tolerate any misbehavior during it. I know many of you have various issues with other students in the class, be it love, hate or rivalry. As long as you keep to dealing with those issues outside of class, I will only get involved if requested. Interfere with class and you will answer to me."

Several of the returning students blinked. Ms. Hinako had been getting a little more lenient since she started at Furinkan, but what she said was like unleashing an angry dog. They wondered why her stance on this had changed.

Ms. Hinako dropped the note-turned-confetti into the trash and went back to teaching. She knew trying to keep this many delinquents constantly in check was tantamount to trying to cap a volcano; it would only delay the explosion and make it far more damaging in the process.

The class continued without further incident. Since Ms. Hinako remained an adult until the very end of class, most of the male students paid rapt attention to her.

When class ended, Ms. Hinako stayed behind to tell Mishibishi that if he had any problems with any of the students, to just let her know. He was, after all, the wimpiest teacher at Furinkan. It had even been speculated that Gosunkugi could beat him up. Controlling this class without help would be nearly impossible for him. She pouted when the bell rang to start class, since he still wasn't there.

At least Ms. Hinako didn't have a second period class to be late for. "I'm going to find your teacher. Ayashi, you're in charge."

Ayashi felt like jumping out the window. There was no way any normal human could possibly be expected to be in charge of this class.

"Where could he be?" Ms. Hinako wondered, skipping towards the office.


"Where to?" the taxi driver asked.

"The airport and hurry," squeaked out a scrawny man.

"Trouble with the law?" the driver joked, but the guy's nervousness made him wonder.

The man shook his head. "No. My job."

"You aren't in the Yakuza, are you?" the taxi driver still asked in a joking tone since he couldn't see how this wimp could be in organized crime. Unless he was one of their accountants, and if he was- oh, SHIT.

"No! I'm a teacher." The man shuddered.

The taxi driver blinked. "Teacher? What's gotten you so scared then?"

"My students are unbelievably skilled martial artists and are all trouble magnets. I had a couple of them last year, and I'm still trying to figure out how I lived through it. This year my class is filled with those freaks! I want out of Tokyo in case they blow the city up," Mishibishi said, clutching his hastily packed suitcase to his chest.

The taxi driver sweated nervously. "Okay. Whatever you say." Maybe a Yakuza member would be preferable to this loony teacher.


Ms. Hinako was not pleased to find out that the literature teacher, who was suppose to teach class 2-D during second period, took one look at the class list and ran out of the school screaming. Since she didn't have a class to teach that period, 2-D's literature class now belonged to her.

Ms. Hinako returned to class 2-D, informed them that she would be their literature teacher, and gave them an in-class reading assignment. She began to read the same assignment since it had been a few years since she had read 'The Tale of Genji.' When she got to the end of the first page, she eyed her coloring book and then glanced at the class. She read a few more pages, but she never did like the story. It was boring to her, particularly since the only times she read it before had been forced on her when she was a student. Ms. Hinako looked at her coloring book again. The book was open, and there was a rather plain black and white picture just begging to be colored. She looked once more at the class and saw they were properly engrossed into their reading assignment. She then grabbed the coloring book and started to add vivid colors to the dull picture.

Only after some of the returning students started doing other things besides reading did the newer students stop reading as well. They all made a point to avoid attracting the teacher's attention.

Tsubasa started writing a couple more notes for his beloved, but wasn't going to try to pass them until after Ms. Hinako left. He shuddered at the thought of going through that punishment. He wanted to know why the hell the school board let some chi-vampire be a teacher.

Kuno quickly rubbed his hand over his face and checked it. He couldn't see anything there, so why was that Mariko looking at him like that? She was staring at him with a far off look in her eyes. He couldn't fathom why she was doing that or what it meant.

Kuno sighed, and soon forgot about Mariko as other thoughts crept into his mind. He wanted to know where the pig-tailed girl was. His father had promised him that she was in this class, but he saw no sign of her after classes began. He came to two possible conclusions: either Saotome was hiding her presence from him with his vile magic or his father lied to him. He couldn't discount either possibility, so he planned to add the pig-tailed girl's absence to both Ranma's and his father's growing list of atrocities that deserved punishment from the heavens... or hell. As long as they were properly punished, he didn't care what the source was.


The next class was geography. The teacher was very nervous about this class, and talked more to the board than the students. His logic was that if he didn't see them causing trouble, they didn't cause any.

Ryoga paid close attention to what the teacher was saying. He hoped this teacher could accomplish what others could not, teach him how to read a map. The teacher was talking about the Asian continent, and something confused Ryoga-- wasn't Vietnam next to India?

Tsubasa tried to pass a note to Ukyou, however it got imbedded into the sliding window to the hall by a... business card? Tsubasa looked back at the guy behind Ukyou, and saw that Konatsu was giving him a rather feminine looking scowl.

Ukyou just smirked after noticing what Konatsu did. True, she didn't need a protector, but anything that reduced her interactions with that pervert was greatly appreciated.

Mikado, seeing the teacher studiously avoiding to look at the class, decided to flirt with Kodachi. Seiki and Takahashi were just too plain looking, and you just don't flirt with a girl if you know her husband is present unless, of course, you want to piss him off.

Kodachi tried to ignore Mikado. She wanted to beat the crap out of him, but she knew of the Sanzenin clan and that it was of the same caste as the Kuno clan. Since he wasn't lower-born, she had to afford him some respect. If he tried anything, though, he'd learn new meanings of pain. She just wished he'd stop distracting her from observing Ranma.

Akane's attention wasn't exactly on the teacher. She was looking more towards the door. That way she could still see the teacher, but could see Shampoo out of the corner of her eye. That had the added bonus of letting her look at Ranma.

Ranma had fallen asleep in class. That was hardly unusual, but Akane wasn't about to let him to snooze away his education. Her hand quickly snaked out and slapped him in the back of the head. He scowled at her, and then watched the teacher lazily.

Tsubasa kept an eye on Konatsu. He seemed to be watching the teacher carefully, so now was the time to pass the note.

Konatsu had been paying attention and quickly released his attack. He launched a pair of specially treated toothpicks, after setting them on fire with a lighter. Both toothpicks embedded themselves into the folds in the paper and began to burn the note.

Tsubasa jumped away from the burning note and quickly slammed his geography textbook down on it to smother the flames.

The class all looked towards Tsubasa, most of them wondering what had just happened. The teacher couldn't ignore that disturbance. Pointing at Tsubasa, the teacher commanded, "Go into the hall with buckets of water. Now."

Tsubasa glared at Konatsu, who returned it with a smirk. He started to wonder about the guy. His mannerisms were very feminine. Could it be that Konatsu was a cross-dresser and was really a girl? And why did he insist on getting in the way of passing notes? If he was after Ukyou, Tsubasa would have to make him change his mind.

Things settled down again, more or less.

Ayashi was wondering why Mariko began to give her appreciating glances. She was used to guys looking at her like a piece of meat, but not getting that look from girls. Wasn't Mariko interested in Kuno? Why was she looking at her like that?

Ranma had fallen asleep again. But when Akane went to wake him, Shampoo grabbed her arm. They broke into a staring match, neither willing to lose even the simplest of competitions. It ended when a spatula embedded itself into Shampoo's desk. That surprised the Amazon enough to loosen her grip. Akane wrenched her arm free, slapped Ranma awake, and returned to glaring at Shampoo. The Amazon, however, was too busy glaring at the chef at the moment to notice.

Ukyou glared right back at Shampoo. She saw no problem in letting Akane slap Ranma awake. He should be awake for class, and if she wanted to get on his bad side by hitting him, more power to her. Besides, she was friends with Akane, and Shampoo was a common enemy. If sides had to be chosen, Ukyou preferred to be on Akane's-- barring attempts by Akane to marry Ranma, of course.

Mousse wanted to do something. He wanted to help Akane as it would help free Shampoo, but he felt he should also support his beloved. Being caught between two conflicting desires, he just sat there. Mousse spent the rest of class trying to figure out what to do if this happened again.

The teacher did see what had happened, but he didn't want to risk the wrath of the three girls. The weakest of them could pound him into something unrecognizable. So, he ignored it.

Kodachi was starting to devise some rather lovely tortures to inflict on Mikado. A little flirting can be flattering. A half-hour of it was down right irritating. Especially since some of his comments were a bit vulgar and should not be said from someone of his station. She knew she had wonderful breasts, but it wasn't proper to have a guy go on about them.

Kodachi couldn't take it anymore and shoved a single black rose under his nose. The paralyzation pollen worked perfectly, since he now sat stiffly in his seat and was unable to even talk.

Akane scowled. Ranma had fallen asleep, again. The third time in the same class and she wasn't about to slap him since Shampoo would stop her, which would only cause even more problems. She eyed her Japanese-English dictionary; that could work. She picked it up and threw it at him.

The book bounced of his head. He scratched his head where it hit him, but appeared to still be asleep.

The book continued on through the open sliding window to the hall, and pegged Tsubasa in the back of his head. He fell forward, and his left arm shot backward causing the water he was holding to become airborne. Of course, that water splashed Ranma.

"I'm awake!" The now female Ranma sat up with a jolt. She looked around trying to figure out what happened. Seeing Tsubasa in the hall, she figured he was the culprit.

Akane looked at Ranma sheepishly. She hadn't meant to do that. At least Shampoo hadn't gotten wet as well.

"Thanks for rejoining the class, Saotome. What's little left of it, that is," the teacher said in an annoyed tone. He really wished he had normal students.

Kodachi had been writing 'pervert' with a permanent marker on Mikado's forehead. She looked over to where her beloved sat and saw the vile pig-tailed girl. She wondered why that girl was here, where Ranma had gone, and why the teacher addressed the foul girl as Saotome. She scowled at Mikado for distracting her and added 'male prostitute' onto his right cheek.

Azusa and Mariko were startled by the redhead's shout. They couldn't figure out why she was in class and where Ranma had gone, let alone why the teacher didn't seem to care that he lost one student and gained another.

Mikado would've liked to have seen what was going on, but he couldn't move.

Kuno lit up like a Christmas tree upon hearing his beloved. "Pig-tailed goddess!" he shouted with glee.

"Quiet!" the teacher commanded.

Kuno glared at his teacher but said nothing. The vile sorcerer had departed and left the pig-tailed girl behind. He could not, would not, take his eyes off her or Akane now. He did not care what the teacher had to say; he would not look away from the two exquisite women before him.

Ranma and Akane noticed Kuno staring at them and tried to ignore him. It was like trying to ignore a mosquito; it was just far too irritating.

When bell rang, the teacher let Tsubasa back into class. Tsubasa rubbed the back of his head and dropped Akane's dictionary on her desk while glaring at her. He knew it was hers since her name was on it.

"Sorry," Akane said meekly.


The history teacher taught towards the class, but ignored minor misbehavior. As long as it didn't interfere with the other student's learning, it didn't really matter since they were only hurting their own education.

The guys in the row next to the outside windows weren't paying attention to class. They were paying attention to the girls from a senior class doing stretching exercises for gym on the soccer field. They couldn't see much, but their imaginations made up for that.

Ayashi, wanting to stop from noticing Mariko's occasional glances at her and had lost interest in paying attention to the teacher, looked out the window. The guys from a senior class were also exercising on the soccer field.

Tsubasa waited for the teacher to write on the board. If he passed a note to Ukyou fast enough, neither the teacher nor Konatsu should notice. When he tried, the note flew out of his hand and was embedded next to his second note by a shuriken. Another shuriken became part of his desk as a warning.

Azusa had been busy during her classes writing and doodling in her notebook. She made some rather cute things, some mildly cute, and something that only Kodachi would consider cute. The latter was just a little plan to remove the mallet girl. Azusa promised herself that Akari would pay for what she had done to her.

Rumiko had been writing in her notebook. She not only took notes on the teacher but on the rest of the class as well. Her mother had taught her how to write in international short hand, and she used it to take down many details of what was going on.

Ryunami's notebook wasn't open. She was committing everything to memory. She was rather pleased at the large amount of potential trouble she could cause, especially romantic problems. The Daimonji would be a good couple to begin with. No one should be that sickeningly in love.

The Daimonji, despite being in an arranged marriage and that they met the traditional one week before the wedding, were deeply in love. They wanted to play footsie in the isle between their desks, but had gotten into severe trouble at their last school for that. They settled for gazing lovingly at each other.

The last class before lunch was almost over and, yet again, Tsubasa tried to pass a note to Ukyou. His hand shot out to give the note when the teacher wasn't looking but suddenly felt a rush of wind. With shock, he noticed his uniform was cut in several places.

Gosunkugi jumped back as a mini-tornado formed around Tsubasa. He noticed a few restaurant bills inside the twister. The attack lasted only a moment.

Shampoo's hair whipped around behind her. She quickly turned to view the source and felt a brief but sharp tug on the back of her skull. She looked down and saw a large clump of her hair tangled around a shuriken; hair that wasn't attached to her head anymore. She reached behind her head and felt the parts of her hair that were far shorter than they should be. Shampoo glared at the boy behind her first, but noticed he was staring in fear at the guy behind Ukyou. She pointed at the weapon and asked in a harsh, angry whisper, "This yours?"

Konatsu nodded sheepishly. "Sorry."

Shampoo promised herself that he would be scared. She grabbed the shuriken and pulled it out of the desk. She grimaced as part of the weapon cut into her hand. Yes, he would be very sorry indeed. She put the shuriken into her school bag since, as far as she was concerned, it belonged to her now.

The teacher whirled around upon hearing the disturbance. He saw something going on in the back corner but wasn't sure what it was. It involved Shampoo, and she looked beyond pissed. Discretion is the better part of valor, the teacher rationalized, deciding not to do anything for his own health. On the safe side, the teacher thought it would be best to inform Ms. Hinako of the situation.

Tsubasa stared at Konatsu with an ashen look on his face, wondering what the hell was this guy.

Ukyou never looked away from the front of the room. She didn't want to get involved in the war brewing between Konatsu and Tsubasa-- even if it was technically over her. Like she wanted either of them. She couldn't ignore Konatsu's special attack, so she wrote a note and carefully passed it to him.

Konatsu opened it and read, 'Avoid the flashy tricks. They're bound to get you into trouble.' He just giggled a little sheepishly as a response. The look from the purple-haired girl suggested the warning was a little too late.


The principal laughed from his beach-side lawn-chair. Next to him were four large screen televisions with pictures coming from each corner of room 2-D, and a fifth television showing room 3-D.

The principal enjoyed all of the antics going on in the room 2-D, wishing there were more. He thought for sure his son and Ranma would've caused more of a ruckus, but it was two guys in bad need of a haircut sitting towards the back that caused the biggest disruptions.

Principal Kuno shrugged as he marked off another point on a tape. He would be handing the tapes to Ms. Hinako during lunch so she could see just how well behaved her students were when she wasn't around. He wasn't sure Konatsu or Tsubasa would survive their punishments, but more than a few students would also get a taste of her wrath. He would have personally reprimanded them, but every time he tried, it failed and he ended up in pain. He decided to let Ms. Hinako handle them for now while he figured out how to inflict his own justice on them.

Principal Kuno paused a moment in thought, and grinned. Someone who had escaped Hinako's special brand of punishment last year would finally get a taste of it.

Author's Notes:

Why name the wayward teacher? I have my reasons, I just won't tell anyone yet.

FYI: Ms. Hinako is not a chi-vampire. She doesn't need to suck chi unless she wants to be an adult. She'd be perfectly fine no matter how long she goes between draining people. The reason she drains so often is because there are so many delinquents and because she likes it. However her students prefer to think of her as a vampire anyway.

Why does Konatsu have specially treated toothpicks that can catch fire easily and stay lit? Because he's a bit of a pyromaniac. He won't start a fire unless he has a reason, but sometimes his reason to start one is rather flimsy. In his first story arc alone he set at least two rather large and unnecessary fires (his collapsed old home and a pile of garbage from Ucchan's) and in one panel he was gazing into a lit match.