Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ One Day ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Imported From: RAAC
From: Nicholas Stone <bnstone@ix.netcom.com>

Greetings,

Got this story I've been waiting to post. Since I've no feedback, and
I needed to get this out before the end of the month, I'm posting it now
for everyone to enjoy. It's a not so small compilation I call One Day.
Once you've read it, you will understand why.

General Disclaimer: All charactures are the property of Rumiko
Takahashi, and no copyright infringment is intended. Just want to write
a good story :-).

Any C/C would be appreciated. Enjoy!








Ranma
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"On e Day"
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Nicholas Stone
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Prologue:
Good Morning!
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A wet towel brought Mousse out of an exausted
sleep, the nearly blind Chinaman sputtering upright on
his bed behind a fluury of hands. He let out a muffled
yell looking around for his attacker.
"Wake up, Mousse!" a gnarled voice shouted.
Mousse pulled the cloth from his face and found Cologne
staring eye to eye with him. He cried out, clutching
his heart scrambling back for the nearest corner.
"You withered up old monkey. You almost gave me a
heart-attack!" he shouted.
Cologne's staff dinging him neatly on the side of
the head.
"Mind your mouth, boy!" she snapped. "Get up. We
have lots of work to do today!"
Mousse shook his head, sitting slowly back up. A
glance at the tiny window of his meager room told him
it was still dark outside. "Hey, what do you mean by
waking me up at this unearthly hour?" he asked.
"I told you, we have things to do. Now don't
question me!"
"But I'm tired. You and Shampoo had me up most of
last night scrubbing the kitchen, and--."
"ENOUGH!" roared Cologne.
Mousse curled up, waiting for the blow he was sure
to follow, but after a short moment he chanced a peak.
Cologne stood there eyeing him with her thin,
penatrating gaze. He sighed, straightening up.
"It's just not fair," he finished.
Cologne smirked. "Mousse," she said.
"Yes, Cologne?"
"Stand up, please."
He did, and Cologne looked him up and down.
Mousse wondered what she was at, contemplating wither
or not to dash for the door and avoid any futher
suffering. Apparently not a morning person, good
reasoning would have normally told him to do just that,
but in his tired state he was just a tad bit slow.
The end of Colgne's staff came down on one foot,
sending him hopping around about the room.
"When I say get up, I mean get up!" she said
twerling her staff.
WAPOWWW!
Mousse sailed up through the roof, making a three
point splashdown in the garden pond out back. Seated
on a stool safely out of splash range, Shampoo stared
at the frothing water. A now empty white nightshirt
floated to the top, followed shortly by a large
Mandarin Duck. She shook her head slowly.
"Stupid blind boy," said Shampoo, picking up the
net laying on the ground at her feet. "Will you not
learn."
Mousse only let out a long quack in reply, leting
himself sink down beneath the water. . .
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* * * * *

I should be used to this, thought Mousse. He sat
in a large tub of mildly hot water contemplating events
so far this morning; Shampoo kneeling behind him giving
his back a good scrubbing.
Everyday, everyday somethings going on. Either
Ranma and Akane, or Shampoo and myself, its going to be
something that was guaranteed. The slight shaking of
his head caught Shampoo's attention.
"What on mind, Mousse," she asked him.
Mousse shrugged. "Hm, just wondering what sort of
mayhem we'll encounter today," he answered.
Oh," Shampoo replied, thinking. "You think we
have trouble, no?"
Mousse looked over his shoulder, squinting to see
her. "I'll bet my next days off that we'll run into
trouble by the afternoon."
Shampoo smacked him lightly on the forehead with
the sponge. "Turn round, silly," she said. After a
short minute, she stopped.
"Huh, you might be right," she said. "Is twist of
fate that we always seem to get mixed up in crazy
happenings."
"Yeah. Cologne calls it fate. Me, I just call it
bad luck."
A laugh emminated from Shampoo. She stood up,
adjusting the towel wrapped around her. "Come, we
better get to breakfast before Great-grandmother decide
not to feed us."
Mousse quickly grabbed a towel and dried himself,
pulling on a robe as he hurried out into the
restaurant. At the counter, Shampoo scooped out
spoonfuls of rice into three bowls, as Cologne finished
preparing strips of baked fish and fried eggs in the
kitchen. From the sounds of her grumbles, she was not
very happy.
"An incompetent Amazon warrior, a blind love-
struck idiot; both children cursed to top it all off,
and a reluctant groom who thinks he's going to marry
another!" Cologne set the pan in her hand down on the
stove, gazing anxiously up at the ceiling. "To the
powers that be, why have you placed these obstacles in
my life?"
Mousse and Shampoo looked at her strangely,
wondering if the sage finally lost her wits. A snap of
her head in their direction made them quickly busy
themselves. Cologne brought the pan over, doling out
the food.
Eagerly they attacked their breakfast eating in
silence. Suddenly Cologne spoke.
"We have to prepare for tonight, Shampoo," she
said.
"Tonight? What happening tonight?"
"Have you forgotten so soon, girl!" snapped
Cologne, smacking Shampoo on her head with her
chopsticks. "Tonight is Ranma and Akane's planning
party."
Shampoo gasped as shock covered her face. She
remembered now. It was not long after graduation that
Ranma finally found the nerve to ask Akane to marry
him. How he did she could not understand; although it
might have had something to do with Ryoga and Akari's
union the few months prior. The event never should
have occurred. Shampoo remembered charging down to the
city park where Akane had gone, hell bent on killing
her. She never made it, a sudden splash of cold water;
imprisonment in a large red bucket by her unknown
assailant prevented the fateful encounter.
"Yes! We must be there so Shampoo can formally
challenge Akane for marriage rights."
Mousse let out a humph. "Why bother. Good luck
and well wishes if you ask me," he said stuffing
another mound of rice into his mouth. A sharp blow at
the side of the head dropped him from the chair.
"Hush, boy! This is no concern of yours!" snapped
Cologne.
Mousse was right back up from the floor, leaning
angrily across the counter.
"I'm just as man enough for Shampoo! Why won't
you accept that fact?"
"Because you cannot defeat Shampoo in battle, yet
alone Ranma so give it up, Mousse!" shouted Cologne.
"I'm giving nothing up. I've sworn to make
Shampoo my wife, and I intend to fulfill that oath!"
Cologne hopped up on the table. "Our traditions
state a strong man will take the hand of an Amazonian
warrior. You are not that man!"
"Feh, on traditions! These are the nineties old
woman. Those traditions are from a long ago
lifestyle."
"Really?" Cologne leaned back. She crossed her
arms, giving him a sly look. "Well, then let's go
nineties and leave the decision up to Shampoo, eh?"
They both turned, gazing at a suddenly sheepish
looking Shampoo. She glanced back and forth between
them, then hunkered down and resumed eating her
breakfast.
"Well, Shampoo?" said Cologne pressing the issue.
Shampoo paused, swallowing the food in her mouth
before looking up. A sad, more confused expression
covered her face as she struggled to make a decision.
"Shampoo?" Mousse said.
"I . . . I Amazon warrior," she replied, but her
voice carried a hint of uncertainty in it.
"You see, Mousse. Even Shampoo knows her duty,"
Cologne said triumphantly.
Mousse sagged, slumping down into the chair.
Shampoo watched him, getting up the courage to reach
over but before she could, he sighed.
"You see, Shampoo. Not even morning, and already
things are going wrong," said Mousse. Shampoo sadly
looked back to her meal.
"Now that that is done, we can concentrate on more
important issues," Cologne said. "Shampoo you will go
to the grocers this morning and get me a few things for
the meal I'm preparing."
"Yes, great-grandmother."
Cologne paused, noting the listless reply from her
granddaughter. "Then later on, both of you will return
here after the lunch rush and help me close down the
restaurant."
Silence followed, casting an uneasy feeling about
the room. Mousse hesitantly looked over to Shampoo.
When she started to turn his way, he quickly got up
unable to face her.
"I, I better start the dishes," he said clearing.
"Mousse," Shampoo called out after him.
Mousse stopped, looking back over his shoulder. A
smile slowly formed on his lips.
"Hey, don't worry about me," he said with a shrug.
"We still have the rest of the day. Who knows what
will happen?"
He left the room, Shampoo, and Cologne staring in
a stunned silence.
"What was that all about?" asked Cologne.
Shampoo shrugged. "Bad luck." she replied.
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First Half
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Taking Care of Chu-Chu
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Food and cooking, cooking and cleaning. My life's
story muttered Kasumi Tendo to herself as she pushed a
cart through the aisles of the local grocery store.
There was times when she wanted to drop all of this,
maybe take a long extended vacation anywhere just to
change the pace.
She giggled lightly to herself, thinking how silly
of an idea that was. Who would be able to provide for
the household while I was away? Nabiki, certainly not
with her literally living with Tatewaki nowadays.
Akane? Well only if she can manage to stay calm. Not
all of her cooking was that bad, and since graduating
from high school, she has had more time to work with
her in the kitchen.
I guess that was all for the better since her
youngest sister was now about to be a blushing bride.
Ranma's proposal caught everyone off guard. Not even
Cologne, that ever-present sage, could say anything
once the announcement became official. The surprised
looks on her and Shampoo's face's was worth all the
trouble and time taken to make the event happen.
Now if they could manage until the wedding,
everything would turn out all right. Kasumi let out a
sigh. Peace. Peace at last around the dojo. No
fighting, no outside bickering about who's going to be
around Ranma, no more crazy happenings. Just long over
due peace and quiet.
It seemed funny to her suddenly. Somehow, Kasumi
found herself dreading what looked to be a boring life
after all. There were options sure, but nothing
currently came to immediately to mind. She rounded the
corner, and so caught up in her thoughts that Kasumi
completely missed the Purple-hair woman that stole up
beside her.
"Nihao!" Shampoo greeted her.
Kasumi literally jumped from the floor. "Oh!
Shampoo you scared the living daylights out of me!"
"I sorry, Kasumi," she replied. "Shampoo heading
same way and thought you want company."
"Why yes, I wouldn't mind some help selecting the
food for tonight's party."
A brow twitched lightly from Shampoo, Kasumi
innocently hitting a sore spot with her. Letting it
pass, Kasumi smiled and together they moved on down the
aisle.
"So, Shampoo are you looking forwards to being one
of Akane's bridesmaids?" she asked.
Shampoo said nothing, stopping to look over some
fresh cabbage in a near-by bin. A frown on her face
told Kasumi that was not the right thing to be asking.
"I'm sorry," she quickly apologized.
Shampoo nodded. "It okay. Shampoo cannot avoid
facts now."
A gentle hand came down confidently on her
shoulder; Kasumi's warm friendly smile settling her.
"Shampoo, are you still harboring love for Ranma?"
she asked.
"I not know," Shampoo finally answered after a
moment. "Shampoo feel upset, but not as upset as
expected."
"Oh. Is there somebody else you have feelings
for?"
For the first time since she first made
acquaintance with the girl, Kasumi saw a blush color
the Amazons' face.
"Shampoo . . . is it Mousse?"
Shampoo giggled, then started sharply. She
quickly regained control of herself, stepping back.
"No! I mean, Shampoo not sure yet about that,"
she said.
"There's no reason to be shy about it, Shampoo.
Its natural, and Mousse is a fine man."
"It not about Mousse," replied Shampoo. She
sighed moving on, Kasumi following close behind. "I
supposed to be future head of Amazon tribe in China.
Tradition dictate strong man for head of clan, and
since Ranma defeat Shampoo in open combat, he one to
marry. Great-grandmother say that only way to assure
rightful place."
"But Shampoo, you should not hide your feelings
from Mousse or yourself. I'm sure Cologne will
understand--."
"Great-grandmother only understand our way!"
Shampoo cut in sharply. "I Amazon warrior, and I must
hold ways of tribe close to heart."
"Hmm, that sounds like Cologne talking," replied
Kasumi. Abruptly, she cut Shampoo's shopping cart off,
turning to face her.
"But what does Shampoo really say?" she finished.
The fire dimmed from Shampoo's chest. A reply
began to form on her lips, but just as quickly died
away realizing that Kasumi held a good point.
"Shampoo still not know," she finally answered,
gazing sadly to the floor.
"You better figure it out soon then, Shampoo,"
replied Kasumi.
Giving her a knowing look, they continued on
ending up before the fruit counters. As Kasumi checked
a stack of fresh watermelon, Shampoo stood pondering
her words fighting the battle that raged in her heart.
"Don't let it bother you to much, Shampoo," Kasumi
said. "Things will work out."
"Maybe, but I more concerned about tonight when I
come to challenge Akane for Ranma," answered Shampoo.
The melon in Kasumi's hands abruptly floundered
about, pitching towards the floor. Without pause,
Shampoo extended a foot, balancing it on the tip of her
shoe.
"You drop," she said, but Kasumi was not
listening. She stared at her bewildered by her remark.
"No, Shampoo. Please don't!" pleaded Kasumi. "I
wanted this to be a peaceful evening. You're going to
ruin everything."
"Cannot help. Great-grandma think this good time
to--,"
"You see! Cologne again. When are you going to
stop allowing her to run your life and start making
decisions for yourself?"
Shampoo was taken aback by Kasumi's forceful tone.
However, she could not deny the truth of her words. A
light flick tossed the melon up into the air, Kasumi
catching it in her arms.
"I not want to spoil your evening, Kasumi," she
said. Kasumi smiled. "I take Akane out back and kill
her there."
The smile dropped into a frown. "Oh, Shampoo
please don't do this. Not tonight. Akane has been
waiting for a long time, and I know you really don't
want to kill her now do you?"
"No," replied Shampoo shaking her head. "But what
I do about Great-grandma? She expect me to challenge
Akane."
"Maybe I can talk her into seeing reason," said
Kasumi.
"She stubborn woman. Good luck."
Shampoo grabbed two watermelons from the stack,
placing them in her cart. Moving on to the next
counter, she suddenly let out a light chuckle.
"Something funny?" asked Kasumi.
"Yes. I thinking about Mousse and what he say
about fate this morning," Shampoo answered her.
"Huh?"
"He say we always have strange happenings around
Nerima. Is bad luck in his opinion. This could be
incident building for today."
Kasumi shook her head. "No, I won't allow that.
I've gone through too many of the peculiarities these
past years, and now I want calm around our house for
the next few weeks."
Shampoo shrugged. "Is nice wish, but Shampoo
think something happen."
"I have a good feeling about the day Shampoo,"
replied Kasumi. "Short of Cologne, I cannot see
anything happening to upset things."
A slight chill creased up Kasumi's back, making
her shudder lightly. She turned eyes wide, thinking
that her words were spoken to soon. Across from them,
one of the freezer doors had come ajar sending a light
mist out into the store. Why it chose that moment to
come open was strange, but she sighed playing the
notion off. Shampoo eyed her humorously.
"It was nothing," Kasumi said moving on a bit
faster than before.
Shampoo grinned, following along.
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At the checkout counter, Kasumi paid for the
groceries, making arraignments for her packages to be
delivered while she headed to the local florist shop.
As she walked down the street, someone called to her
from behind.
Kasumi turned to find a short, elderly woman
standing there smiling brightly up at her.
"Oh, Miss Ubono. What a pleasant surprise," she
said.
"Hello, Kasumi, dear," Miss Ubono replied.
If there were anyone that came close to replacing
her mother, Miss Ubono would take top honors with all
the Tendo sisters. Her kind, gentile features brought
back fond memories of her childhood. After their
mother passed away, Miss Ubono took it upon herself to
fill in when needed. As far as Kasumi knew she had
never married, settling in to a peculiar life as the
neighborhood babysitter.
Miss Ubono's wrinkled hand reached out, taking
Kasumi's hand in a gentle grip.
"Kasumi. You're just the young lady I've been
looking for," she said. "I have a small favor too ask
of you."
"What can I do for you, Miss Ubono?" Kasumi asked.
"I was wondering. Could you be so kind as to take
care of my Chu-Chu for a while? I'm taking a trip up
to the hot springs in Yoshida to sooth my weary bones.
Doctors' orders you know."
Chu-Chu? Kasumi could not remember Miss Ubono
ever owning a pet. Maybe she'd just bought it
recently. In either case, Kasumi was not about to turn
her down; not after all of the things she had done for
her.
"Why sure, Miss Ubono," she answered. "I would be
more than happy to take care of your Chu-Chu."
Miss Ubono clasped her hands happily together.
"That's wonderful!"
"When would you like me to come by and pick Chu-
Chu up?"
"Is right now to much of a burden?"
Kasumi thought a moment. Well, there really
wasn't any rush to go out and buy the bouquet, and she
really needed to get back and finish working on Akane's
wedding dress. "No, Miss Ubono. I can take him now if
you'd like."
"Thank you, Kasumi. You were always a good
child."
Miss Ubono draped an arm around Kasumi's, leading
her towards her home.
"So, Miss Ubono, what is Chu-Chu. A cat, a dog,
or a bird?"
Miss Ubono let out a hoarse laugh. "Neither," she
replied.
"Neither?" replied Kasumi, gazing down at her in
wonder.
"Yes. Chu-Chu is a cricket."
Kasumi looked ahead, eyes wide with surprise. "Oh
my," she muttered . . .
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Fixing a quick pot of tea for them, Miss Ubono sat
across from Kasumi pouring her a cup. She pushed it
over; Kasumi nodding politely as she picked it up. It
was mildly sweet, refreshing to the taste. Suddenly
Kasumi paused, peering into the cup arching a brow.
Casually, her eyes cut from side to side as if
expecting something to happen. Miss Ubono noticed her
reaction.
"Something wrong, Kasumi?" she asked.
"Oh . . . nothing," Kasumi replied placing the cup
back down. "Just a bit of nerves. Your tea is quite
good."
"Why thank you. I grow it myself, you know."
"Really?"
"Yes. I grow lots of things out in my garden."
Kasumi looked around at the potted plants hanging
or situated around the room. Goodness some of them
were of unusual size, she thought. Wide flowers Kasumi
knew were not of the norm, bonsai plants the size of
young saplings decorating the pond out back.
"Miss Ubono, you certainly have a green thumb,"
she said.
"I love nature, Kasumi," Miss Ubono replied. "It
was out in my garden where I found Chu-Chu."
Kasumi was about to reply, when a sudden long
shrill cut the air. She shot to her feet, frantically
looking around.
"Miss Ubono, your fire alarm is going off!" she
cried.
Miss Ubono slowly stood up, laughing as she did.
"No it's not, dear girl."
"It's not?" Kasumi said. She had to shout the
noise was so loud.
"That's Chu-Chu."
Huh? Kasumi wondered how such a small insect
could be making so loud of a noise. Miss Ubono
shuffled over to a sliding partition, pulling it
partially aside. She stuck her head in around the
opening.
"Chu-Chu, stop being so rude. We have guest," she
said. The chirping stopped, Kasumi blinking her eyes
in surprise.
"He's very obedient," she said.
"Chu-Chu's is friendly as you will find out."
Kasumi noted the time on the wall. It was getting
close to lunch, and she needed to get back home. "Well
if you'll just get his cage ready, I'll be on my way.
I have to get back and make lunch. My family will be
ravenous if I'm late."
"Why certainly dear."
Miss Ubono reached up, taking a leash from a hook
on the wall.
"Um, Miss Ubono . . . why the leash?" asked
Kasumi.
"It's for Chu-Chu," she replied. Kasumi started
to have bad feelings about this.
"Come here, Chu-Chu," continued Miss Ubono. She
stepped inside the small room, bending down to
something on the floor. "There now. Don't be shy.
Mama is going away for a few days. Now you be good and
don't give Kasumi any trouble."
She stepped out, and Kasumi drew in an audible
gasp. Jumping up onto the table, she pressed her hands
tight to her mouth. Miss Ubono stopped, staring at
her.
"Kasumi Tendo, what has gotten in to you?" she
asked.
Kasumi could not answer; staring at the thing
nestled in Miss Ubono's arms. It was a cricket all
right, but a cricket the size of a small bulldog. Jet-
black in color, Chu-Chu's lidless eyes watched her,
antennae slowly moving about his head.
"Ooh, Miss Ubono, I-I-I thought you said Chu-Chu
was a cricket," stammered Kasumi.
"Why he is," she replied.
"T-this is a joke then, right?"
"No, Kasumi." She took a step towards her, and
Kasumi let out a squeal. Leaping towards the front
door, Kasumi threw it open ready to run for her life
when Miss Ubono called desperately to her.
"Please, Kasumi. You're the only one I can trust
to take care of my little Chu-Chu!" she said.
Kasumi paused turning a fearful glance back over a
shoulder. Miss Ubono's sad eyes instantly broke her
down. Reluctantly, she turned around.
"I'm sorry, Miss Ubono," she said bowing slightly.
"But Chu-Chu is so, so large!"
"Not many people expect that," Miss Ubono
answered. "Come here, child."
"I-I don't know," said Kasumi taking hesitant
steps towards her.
She stood staring at the cricket, a slight tremble
coursing through her body. Chu-Chu shifted and she
flinched drawing a laugh from Miss Ubono.
"Go ahead. Pet him, Kasumi."
Kasumi frowned, reaching out a hesitant hand to
stroke the leathery backside of the insect's torso.
Chu-Chu suddenly rubbed up against her arm, letting out
a low chirp. Next thing Kasumi knew, he was climbing
up into her arms.
"Oh, oh, oh!" she gasped.
Chu-Chu finally settled in, head rummaging about
her ponytail. Kasumi let out a giggle.
"Stop it, stop it, Chu-Chu. That tickles!"
"You see, Kasumi. He likes you."
Kasumi giggles increased, and she smiled. "Okay.
What do I feed him?"
"Oh, most anything. Vegetables, grass, an
occasional cat, but he mainly prefers cloth."
"Cloth?"
"Yes. Sheets, shirts, anything will do as long as
its not to old."
"Uh huh. Well, I guess I can find something of
that type to keep him feed. Is there anything else."
Miss Ubono thought a moment. "Oh, yes one more
thing. He likes to nibble on hair."
Kasumi gave her a lost look. "Hair?" she finally
said.
"Hair. Chu-Chu loves human hair."
"Hair?" Kasumi said again.
Miss Ubono nodded. "See?"
She pointed at Chu-Chu, and Kasumi looked down.
The cricket rested in her arms nibbling quietly on the
end of her ponytail. Kasumi let out a yell, holding
him up.
"Stop that!" she cried.
"Chu-Chu," said Miss Ubono, swatting the strands
of hair from his mouth. "You bad thing you. Now
behave yourself," she scolded him.
Chu-Chu waved his antennae playfully in the air,
then let out a burp as he stared at Kasumi.
She shook her head, wondering what trouble could
befall her next . . .
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Why can't I learn how to say no, Kasumi thought
while heading back to the Tendo Dojo. In her hands she
carried a large basket, piles of linen heaped to the
top inside. Somewhere amidst all the folds sat one
very mischievous cricket enjoying his trip out into the
new world. Every once in a while, Chu-Chu would let
out a short chirp, peering up to look around before
Kasumi could push him back down.
"Oh, please, Chu-Chu, please don't do anything I'm
going to regret," she would beg of the cricket.
Several strange looks cast upon her from people
passing by, wondering if Kasumi finally went past
sanity after so many years of strange happenings.
Kasumi could only smile innocently, picking up her
pace.
What would happen if anyone saw Chu-Chu she did
not want to find out. It would be better to get him
home and into a cage before--.
"Oh my goodness!" gasped Kasumi. She stopped dead
in her tracks; eyes wide as a sudden realization came
to her. "Nabiki. I completely forgot about Nabiki!"
Kasumi wanted to cry out then, but knew it would
not do any good. How could she forget Nabiki's fear of
crawling insects, especially those of Chu-Chu's kind?
Sure, crickets were supposed to bring good luck, but
ever since she was a child, and that fateful day Kasumi
teasingly dropped one down her dress, Nabiki could
never tolerate them inside the home.
"No," Kasumi said to herself. "I don't have time
to find you another place to stay, Chu-Chu." She
paused, then drew in a short breath. "I'm committed
now. Maybe if I keep him hidden out in the garden . .
. no, no. Knowing this cricket he'll escape and go
rampaging through the neighborhood."
Chu-Chu shifted around in the basket, rising
beneath a pile of linen to peer at Kasumi. She arched
a brow, smiling at him.
"You are a cute thing once a person gets used to
you," she said. Chu-Chu calmly chewed on the lined in
his mouth, wondering why Kasumi stopped. Sensing his
question, Kasumi gently petted him on the head, guiding
him back down.
"I'll sneak you inside. I'm sure there is a place
I can keep you hidden until Miss Ubono returns."
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A careful glance around the grounds produced no
signs of Kasumi's family. Quickly she stole up the
sidewalk to the door. Chu-Chu suddenly rose up,
peeking over the edge of the basket. His eyes fell
upon a red bucket full of water, and the cricket's
antenna went ridged. Kasumi felt him getting ready to
spring. She quickly pulled a fold of linen over his
head, forcing Chu-Chu back down into the basket.
"Chu-Chu, behave," she said. Chu-Chu let out a
sad chirp. His antenna snaked out again, wavering
around in search of the water. "I'll get you something
to drink once I get you in the house, now stop!" Kasumi
pleaded to him. "If Nabiki finds you, who knows what
she'll do."
Opening the doors, Kasumi took another quick look
around. All clear, she scurried in heading for the
kitchen but made only a few steps before Chu-Chu
decided to announce himself. His long, loud chirp
drifted through the Dojo.
"Chu-Chu, no! Be quiet!" Kasumi said, but it was
too late.
Heavy footsteps came running through the living
room, the partition door flinging open. Out leaped
Akane a fire extinguisher in her hands, Ranma besides
her holding a broom.
"Where is it, where is it!" Ranma exclaimed
looking frantically around.
Kasumi shifted the basket behind her, leaning back
against the wall.
"Where's what, Ranma?" she said in her brightest
voice.
"The fire! Where's the fire?"
"We heard the alarm go off," added Akane.
Chu-Chu thought Kasumi as she laughed. "There's
no fire."
"Then what was that noise?" Akane asked.
"I didn't hear anything!" replied Kasumi.
Ranma and Akane glanced at each other, then paused
noticing the basket Kasumi was unsuccessfully trying to
hide behind her. Ranma set the broom down, casually
leaning back against the wall with a humored expression
on his face.
"Ah, Kasumi. What's in the basket?" he said.
Kasumi blanched, nervously inching down the hall.
"Uh, what basket?" she replied.
Ranma followed right along with her, grinning.
"The one behind your back?"
Akane suddenly grabbed him by an arm. "Ranma,
stop playing with Kasumi," she said tugging him along.
"It's probably something for our reception, and she's
trying to keep it a secret."
Kasumi nodded her head in agreement with Akane.
"Yes, that's it!" she exclaimed. "And you'll both see
it--."
Chreep, Chreep!
Ranma and Akane both did double takes; Kasumi
hanging her head in frustration. Calmly, Akane set
down the extinguisher, turning to smile cheerfully at
her sister.
"Then again, I wonder what is in that basket," she
said.
"Kasumi's hiding something, Kasumi's hiding
something," chanted Ranma.
Kasumi inched closer towards the stairs then more
footsteps sounded.
"Ranma, have you two found that fire yet?" Soun
said as he came out of the living room.
"Or is it just a malfunction?" added Genma
appearing right behind him.
Ranma pointed towards Kasumi. "Neither. It's
that basket."
Soun and Genma both frowned. "Kasumi," said Soun
trying to see behind her. "What are you carrying in
there that's making such a noise?"
"Nothing. Its just laundry!" she tried to
explain.
Akane peered around her, noticing that some of the
`laundry' was moving about on its own.
"Well if it is laundry, you'd better go and wash
it. I think it's alive."
Ranma moved up closer. "Come'on, Kasumi, lemme
see, lemme see!"
"NO!" exclaimed Kasumi turning the basket away.
Now everybody was trying to get a peek inside the
mysterious basket. She begged them to stop.
"Come now, Kasumi," said Genma. "We've no need to
keep secrets. What's in the basket?"
Kasumi sighed, looking around at them. "A cat,"
she lied. Immediately, Ranma jumped fearfully behind
Akane.
"A cat!" he shouted, then hunkered down behind her
again.
"Yes, a cat," she answered.
"Well why didn't you say so in the first place?"
asked Akane.
"I was trying not to scare Ranma."
Akane turned around. "You see, Ranma. That's
what you get for teasing people!"
Ranma stood up. "Okay, I'm sorry," he said. "But
as long as that cat is around, this kid's going to stay
well away from it." He turned heading for the stairs.
"I'm outta here."
A fold of linen rose up in the basket, Chu-Chu
peering out to see who was talking. He got one look of
Ranma's long ponytail and his antenna shot straight up
into the air.
Sprong!
Chu-Chu's blurred figure exploded from the basket,
linen fluttering about the hall. Ranma let out a short
gawk; his head jerking around as Chu-Chu latched on to
the end of his ponytail, knocking him to the floor.
"Ranma!" exclaimed Akane.
"Chu-Chu!" shouted Kasumi.
Ranma shook his head. Looking back, he paused
staring at the large insect nibbling happily on his
hair. A loud cry followed, Ranma jerking his head away
from the cricket, scampering over towards the others.
Akane's cry joined his; Soun and Genma stammering in
shocked surprise.
"What the hell is that?" shouted Ranma.
Soun snatched up the broom ready to pound Chu-Chu
into nothing. Kasumi quickly interposed herself
between them.
"No!" she cried out.
"No?" questioned Soun. "Kasumi, what have you
brought into this house?"
"That's Chu-Chu," she answered him.
"Chu-Chu?" said Ranma. He glanced over at the
cricket with a frown. "Well he's about as big as one!"
"Kasumi, I thought you said there was a cat in
that basket?" said Akane.
"I know, I lied. Chu-Chu is Miss Ubono's pet
cricket, and I'm watching him for a few days."
"Pet cricket?" said Genma. "That's a pet?"
"Believe me, Mister Saotome, Chu-Chu's very nice
once you get to know him!"
Chu-Chu let out a chirp, crawling over to where a
sheet lay at the foot of the stairs. He rummaged
around it, then started eating.
"He's devouring the sheet!" Akane said in
disbelief.
"Yes. Chu-Chu prefers cloth to snack on."
Ranma rolled his eyes, standing up. "Oh great,
now we have a connoisseur cricket in the dojo." He
snatched up his ponytail. "Look what he did to my
hair!" Ranma shouted, shaking the end at Kasumi.
"Stop it, Ranma," Akane said. "Chu-Chu didn't
hurt you. Besides, you've been needing a haircut
anyway."
"Say what!"
Soun cut in. "Absolutely not!" he shouted. "That
thing is not staying in the house a minute longer!"
"But Daddy. Miss Ubono has already left. I can't
kick Chu-Chu out now."
Soun gave her a stern stare. "Have you forgotten
about Nabiki?" he asked.
"No, daddy. That's why I was trying to sneak Chu-
Chu out back before she found out."
"What about Nabiki?" said Ranma, a sudden cheer in
his voice.
"It's one of Nabiki's weaknesses," Akane
explained. "Crawling bugs and her just don't mix."
"Oh ho!" he exclaimed. "Talk about me and cats
now!"
Akane narrowed her eyes. "Ranma Saotome, I know
that look. You had better behave!"
"Who me?" Ranma gazed innocently up at the
ceiling. "I wouldn't think of taking advantage of this
opportunity . . . BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
A sharp kick in the rear silenced him.
"Kasumi," continued Soun. "But what if she does
find out. I can see it now. She would die right on
the spot."
"Or call out the Army," added Genma.
"Not if we keep Chu-Chu out back and out of
sight," replied Kasumi. "Where's Nabiki now?"
"She's upstairs taking a shower. I think she's
going out," answered Akane.
"Great. The less time she's here the better."
"Kasumi--," began Soun.
"Please, daddy," begged Kasumi.
Soun never could refuse his daughters no matter
how hard he tried. He let out a sigh, shoulders
sagging. "Oh . . . alright, but just for a few days."
"Miss Ubono will be back before the weeks end."
"Okay. Let's get Chu-Chu out back and--."
Soun paused looking around. "Kasumi, where is Chu-
Chu?"
Kasumi gasped, turning towards the stairs.
Nothing remained of the linen sheet he was eating, and
there was no sign of the giant cricket either.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed frantically looking around.
"We've got to find him!"
"Yeah, we better before Nabiki sees him," added
Ranma.
"I'll look upstairs," said Akane. She started to
go, then stopped remembering Chu-Chu's penchant for
cloth. "Ranma you check upstairs."
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Too protect my wedding dress," she replied.
"That roach better not even think about coming close to
it."
"He is not a roach, he is a cricket," Kasumi
corrected her.
As the three went to search for Kasumi's wayward
charge, Genma headed towards the storage shed out
front.
"Saotome, where are you going?" asked Soun.
"To find a hook big enough to handle that
monster," Genma replied. He turned giving Soun an evil
grin. "If I find him, I'm going fishing."
Soun started to protest, then paused.
"Hmm. Not a bad idea," he said following along.
=

* * * * *
=

The hot shower felt good to Nabiki, well deserved
after the long work collecting her monies from the
local populace. She felt utterly relaxed, ready for an
afternoon nap, but knew that was not about to happen.
Oh no, especially when she had plans to meet over at
Tatewaki's for lunch.
Okay, so it was for business, but then again
business could turn into playful fun if one does things
right. Nabiki grinned as she stepped out of the
shower. Kuno-baby, she mused. How I long to make you
mine. With everyone getting married recently, she felt
that the time was right to make her moves. If only
Kodachi; that bitch, would just up and leave things
might workout sooner.
Nabiki wrapped a towel around herself, heading to
her bedroom. She paused at the threshold to the sounds
of steps moving hurriedly up the stairs. Ranma ran out
into the hall, sliding to a stop when he saw her.
"Uh, hi," he said.
Nabiki arched a brow, noting the desperate glances
he made. "You devil you," she said. "Better watch
out, or Akane's going to be upset."
"Um . . . yeah right," he replied inching his way
past.
"Ranma, is there something wrong?"
Ranma was about to speak, paused, and then shook
his head. "Nnno," he answered dashing down the hall.
He opened Akane's bedroom door running inside.
"Strange boy," Nabiki muttered.
Inside her room, Nabiki turned on her CD player,
selecting one of her favorite tunes. She hummed
lightly to the beginning, a Kareoke version of Pink
Floyd's `Money', her personal national anthem.
Standing before the dresser mirror, Nabiki picked up a
hairbrush, holding it like a microphone and began to
sing.
=

Money . . . its mine
Don't have to work a day in Myyyy life!
Money . . . no snags
Can't wait to get Kuno's IIInnn the bag!
What a man, what a ham, I'm going to get his
grand
Gonna get Kodaaachi's too.
=

She smiled, always enjoying that part of her
lyrics. Nabiki began brushing her hair when her eyes
caught movement coming from the satin sheets on her
bed. Slowly she turned; watching as another rustle
shimmered through them. A quick glance at the open
window told Nabiki that the wind was not blowing hard
at all. Strange, she thought moving closer to the bed.
Another sound caught her ears, a rapid snick that
sounded more like a rabbit chewing on a carrot.
"What is going on here?" Nabiki said. Grabbing
the corner of the top sheet, she flung it back
revealing the largest bug she had ever seen in her
life.
Chu-Chu looked up at her, never pausing from his
quick meal, waiting for this newcomer to do something.
Nabiki tensed, teeth clenched tightly together,
eyes literally bulging from their sockets.
"Ggggaaahhhh!" she sounded staggering away from
the bed. Chu-Chu shifted, watching now with more
interest, eyeing the bath towel wrapped around her. He
scuttled over to the corner of the bed and Nabiki
pressed up against the wall, trembling with fear. Her
hands followed the wall, fumbled with the doorknob,
opening the door.
Without a word, Nabiki quickly exited the room.
=

* * * * *
=

"He's not up there," said Ranma returning down to
the front. Akane stood in the living room doorway,
Kasumi next to the front door wringing her hands
nervously.
"He's not here," added Akane.
Kasumi let out a moan kneeling down in the center
of the hall. "I've lost him!" she sobbed. "Miss Ubono
will hate me for the rest of her life!"
"Well that shouldn't be too long of a hate,"
remarked Ranma.
"Ranma!" growled Akane.
The front door opened Genma and Soun stepping
inside, fishing poles in hand.
"Did you find him?" asked Genma.
"No, Mister Saotome. Chu-Chu is still missing,"
answered Akane.
"We did not see him outside," said Soun.
"Oh, what am I going to do!" exclaimed Kasumi.
Akane knelt gently patting her sister on the back.
"We'll find Chu-Chu, Kasumi," she said trying to
sooth her sorrows.
Steps sounded from the stairs, everyone looking to
see a towel-clad Nabiki walking down with a lost look
on her face. She stopped, glanced around, then made
her way over to the phone.
Ranma cautiously came up next to her. "Nabiki . .
. is there something we can help you with?"
Nabiki's finger paused over the keypad. "No. I
can handle this myself," she replied. Finishing the
number, Nabiki waited for the connection to be made.
[Nerima Exterminators,] a voice said from the
speaker.
Nabiki drew in a long breath, then screamed at the
top of her lungs, startling the others.
[NNNNNNNNGGGGGGYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhthis
is Nabiki Tendo. I want a team over at the Tendo Dojo
IMMEDIATELY!]
She slammed down the receiver, an ominous silence
following. Nabiki's cheek twitched, and then she let
out a breath going over to stand at the front door.
Around her, the others slowly pulled themselves up
shaking off the ring in their ears. Ranma helped Akane
to her feet, and together they staggered over to the
other side of the doorway.
"I take it you've had a rough morning?" said
Akane.
Nabiki said nothing, reached out to lift Akane's
right arm up marking the time. A loud screech sounded
from the street. Through the gates ran two men clad in
dark gray overalls; large silver colored tanks strapped
to their backs. They reached the porch, kneeling down
at Nabiki's feet.
"Mistress Nabiki, we just got the word and came as
soon as we could!" said one of the men.
Ranma and Akane gapped at the two men, looking up
at Nabiki.
"Mistress Nabiki?" they both said together.
"My street name," she replied. Nabiki glared
angrily down at them. "You're fifteen seconds late!
That's going to cost you two hundred yen, each!"
"We're sorry Mistress, we're sorry!" groveled the
two men, kissing her feet.
"Knock it off! Now there is a cockroach the size
of Mount Fuji up in my bed, and I want it destroyed.
Do you hear me? Destroyed!"
Kasumi shot to her feet. "Chu-Chu!" she exclaimed
dashing up the steps. Akane bolted after her.
"You called the exterminators!" shouted Ranma.
"Nabiki, you've made a big mistake!"
"Not in the least bit," she replied. Nabiki
pointed up the stairs. "Now go and get rid of that
thing!"
The two exterminators stood up. Together they
drew their spray guns from the holders on their back,
locking the safeties off on the triggers. They glanced
at each other, exchanging sharp nods and started for
the stairs.
"Wait guys, wait!" exclaimed Ranma backpedaling
before them. "She's in shock. There's no infestation
here. There's no cockroaches!"
"Mistress Nabiki has given the orders," replied
the first exterminator. "Now stand aside young sir so
we may do our job."
"But he's right!" said Soun. "There are no
cockroaches here. Just a cricket!"
Both exterminators stopped, trading looks again.
"Hmm, a cricket infestation? Kind of unusual for
this time of year," said one.
"Yes, but no matter. We shall eliminate them just
as well," replied the other.
"It's not an infestation. It's just one cricket!"
said Ranma.
"One?" they both said.
"Yes, one!"
"Just one?"
Ranma brought up his hands in frustration. "What
did I say?"
The exterminators thought then chanced a glance
over their shoulders at Nabiki. Both of them fought to
hold back their sudden snickers.
"Uh . . . okay. Well go and (snicker) smite down
this vile (snicker) creature," said the first
exterminator.
"Yeah, we'll just . . . hee, hee, go and do battle
with the . . . cricket!" said the other.
"Hey," exclaimed Nabiki. "I know I don't hear
mockery coming from you!"
"No, Mistress, we, we, we . . .."
Both exterminators could hold it back no more,
falling about the floor in laughter.
"Stop it! You haven't seen this monster yet!"
cried Nabiki.
Ranma shrugged. "She does have a point," he had
to agree.
Kasumi appeared at the top of the steps. "Chu-
Chu's not up here!" she shouted down at them. "Akane
and I have looked everywhere. There's no sign of him!"
Akane joined her. "Ranma, go around back. Chu-
Chu might have gone out the window," she said.
"You heard her!" Nabiki said to the two laughing
exterminators. "Get up and go look outside."
They stood up. "Y-yes, Mistress Nabiki. At once
. . . BWHAHAHA!"
"Ranma, please don't let them kill Chu-Chu!" said
Kasumi.
Ranma frowned. "You know, I thought crickets
where supposed to bring good luck!" he grumbled
following the two men out the door.
=

* * * * *
=

Ranma and the two exterminators headed around the
side of the Tendo Dojo, gazing around the grounds.
Ranma, knowing what to look for, carefully searched the
bushes near the pond while the two exterminators stood
watching him with some skepticism.
"Hey kid," called the first one. "You know this
is like looking for a needle in a haystack."
"Uh, yeah right," Ranma said continuing his
search.
"You ought to forget about this. Looks to me like
another woman overreacting as usual," said the other.
"Right. Just go upstairs with a can of RAID,
phfffht, and its all over."
Ranma stopped. "I've seen this thing, so I know
she's not exactly overreacting. If you don't mind a
little help would be appreciated."
"Feh," the exterminators replied, looking away.
The first exterminator gazed casually towards the pond.
"Ain't no such thing as a giant--."
His comment died away as he spotted a dark form on
the far side of the pond drinking from the water.
Thinking that his eyes were deceiving him, he rubbed
his eyes then chanced another look. When the large
insect crawled away, only then did it register what he
was seeing.
Letting out a low babble, the exterminator began
tugging fearfully on his partners' sleeve.
"Ridiculous, isn't it?" his partner said gazing up
at the sky. "Why we could be down at Ucchan's enjoying
a few plates of okonomiyaki for lunch."
The tugging on his sleeve increased the
exterminator frantically trying to gain his partner's
attention.
"Will you stop!" he finally said. "What's gotten
into you!"
"Mo-mo, mo-mo, mo-mo, m-m-m-monster!"
The second exterminator looked over to where his
partner was pointing. All the color suddenly drained
from his face.
"OOH!" was all he could say, struck ridged with
fear.
Ranma heard him, looking over towards the pond.
"Oh, Kasumi," he called to the house. "We've found Chu-
Chu!"
The patio doors flew open, Kasumi stepping out.
"Chu-Chu! You bad thing you. Come here right
this--."
"GYAH!" wailed the two exterminators. They broke
from their fear, scrambling over each other in a mad
attempt to flee the area. Chu-Chu started as well,
backing fearfully away from the two strangers. He spun
around, and before anyone could react, made a
resounding leap over the perimeter wall.
"Chu-Chu!" cried Kasumi, dashing back inside.
"Kasumi wait!" called Akane, but it did no good.
Ranma could track Kasumi's path through the house by
the sounds of her running, catching sight of her as she
sprinted out the front door down the path and out the
gate.
The couple stared in her direction for a moment,
then looked at each other.
"I guess we should go after her," said Ranma.
"Yeah, we should. So much for peace and quiet,"
replied Akane.
Ranma chuckled. "In Nerima? Be serious."
=

* * * * *
=

The doors on both sides of the van parked in front
of the Dojo flew open, the two exterminators'
frantically climbing inside. They struggled with the
microphone on the transmitter, a rough tug-of-war
developing between them.
[HOMEBASE, HOMEBASE, HOMEBASE, COME IN!] cried one
into the mic. The speaker crackled to life.
[Yes, Unit 21. What's the problem?" replied the
dispatchers voice.
[WE NEED SUPPORT, ASAP!]
The dispatcher cleared her ears. [Calm down Unit
21,] she replied.
[CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN! WE NEED FULL SUPPORT, FULL
SUPPORT DO YOU HEAR ME--]
His partner jerked the mic away. [Homebase, we
have a rrreally big situation here. I mean a really
BIG situation here!] he said.
[Okay, what kind of situation is this?]
[We're going to need at least three squads out
here, plus aerial support if available!]
[Come now, Unit 21. This can't be that bad?]
The mic jerk back the other way.
[HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? WE HAVE A CLASS A1 OUT
HERE, A CLASS A1!]
They could here the light gasp from the dispatcher
over the speaker.
[A1? A class A1 . . . uh, uh, oh my gosh, um I
better notify the General!]
A claxon sounded in the background, people
rumbling about as they reacted to the alarm.
[What is you location, Unit 21?]
[Tendo Dojo!] answered the second exterminator.
[Send help fast. Unit 21 will remain on scene and
maintain surveillance!]
[Roger, Unit 21. Hold on, help is on the way!
Homebase out.]
=

* * * * *
=

Kasumi ran down the streets behind the dojo,
desperately calling Chu-Chu's name. She searched every
yard she came across, climbing over fences, rustling
through garbage containers only to draw up a blank.
"Chu-Chu where are you!" she shouted continuing
down the street. Akane's voice suddenly called to her,
the couple running down the street.
"Kasumi . . . I didn't know you could . . . run
that fast," Ranma said between breaths.
"Did you see Chu-Chu?" she asked them.
"No," answered Akane.
Kasumi began to cry, walking on down the street.
"This is all my fault!" she sobbed. "I've lost him.
Who knows where he'll turn up now?"
"Calm down Kasumi," said Akane trying to settle
her. "Chu-Chu will be alright. He's just a bit
frightened now. I'll bet you anything he's hiding
under some bush right near the dojo."
Kasumi sniffled, wiping her eyes dry. "You think
so?" she replied. Akane nodded. "Poor thing, (sniff,
sniff), he must be terrified."
Several cries and screams suddenly sounded from
around the corner ahead. A flurry of people dashed
across the street, scattering in all directions as they
ran apparently for their lives. Several dogs yelped
past the trio in fright joining the crowd.
"Ah, Chu-Chu?" Ranma said to them.
They ran around the corner, coming to an abrupt
stop at the sight before them. Near one of the street
lamps at the next corner sat Chu-Chu calmly looking up
at a tomcat clutching the steel pole. The cat
frantically clawed on the metal, nails screeching
against the surface, fighting to stay above the cricket
waiting patiently below for dinner to be served.
People walking casually along the sidewalk would catch
sight of the giant cricket and quickly flee the area
their cries filling the air.
"Chu-Chu!" called Kasumi. Chu-Chu turned,
recognizing her voice. Carefully the trio began to
inch towards him.
"Come to me Chu-Chu. It's time to go home," she
said.
"Nice, Chu-Chu," added Akane. "We don't want you
to get hurt.
Kasumi reached into her dress pocket, pulling out
his leash. That did not sit well with Chu-Chu, and he
took a few steps back. They stopped.
"Don't scare him, Kasumi," Ranma said.
"I should have put this on him," she replied.
"All this would not have happened."
"Well let's worry about getting to him first,"
said Akane.
Ranma grabbed his ponytail, wagging it before him.
"Look, Chu-Chu. I got some high-grade ponytail here.
Imported."
The ponytail did look good, but Chu-Chu was more
worried about the leash held in Kasumi's hand. He was
not ready to go inside, enjoying the rare opportunity
to stretch his legs for a bit. Nor did he want to pass
up on devouring this cat either. Well, he could always
scare up another one.
Chu-Chu made a slight turn and before anyone could
react, leaped away around the corner.
"No!" shouted Akane, and together they set out
after him.
=

* * * * *
=

"Let go of my arm!" shouted Soun struggling
against the grip of one of the exterminators.
"Sorry, sir, but this is for your own good," the
exterminator replied dragging him along towards the
gate.
"My own good? There is nothing here to harm us!"
"What about . . . that monster in your . . .
garden?" said the other exterminator herding Genma
along held in a strong armlock behind his back.
"You fools!" scowled Genma. "That cricket is
harmless. Tendo do something!"
"That's it boys," Nabiki said walking along behind
them. "And make sure when you kill that thing, the
carcass gets sent to the University of Tokyo Science
Department. In my name of course."
"Yes, Mistress Nabiki."
"Nabiki!" Soun raged at his daughter. "Call off
these mad fools!"
"No way, daddy. I'm not setting foot back into
that house until I know that thing is dead and gone."
Soun and Genma were thrust out to the sidewalk.
Both exterminators drew their spray wands, crossing
them together.
"Don't make us have to subdue you, sir," said one.
"We hold class three ratings in equipment self-
defense."
Soun shot to his feet. "You idiots! I'm trying
to tell you there is nothing to be scared about! Chu-
Chu is harmless."
"Oh, daddy stop," said Nabiki. She stole up,
giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm off to
Tatewaki's. Calm down and let these men do their
work."
"Nabiki, get back here!" cried Soun.
"Later, daddy!" Nabiki called back, walking off
down the street.
"That girl! One day I'm going too--."
"Soun," Genma cut in. He was looking the other
way up the street, listening to a noise that was
steadily getting louder as it closed. Both men raised
curious brows.
"I've heard that before, Tendo," Genma said.
"Sounds like--."
"Marching soldiers," finished Soun.
True enough, over the horizon appeared several
formations of marching men; exterminators in precise
ranks three by four deep, all lead by a white van,
banners fluttering in the wind.
"The General!" exclaimed the two exterminators
dancing happily about.
Soun and Genma exchanged looks. They rubbed their
eyes, unable to believe this was happening, then looked
again. Nope, still there. Two helicopters suddenly
flew close overhead.
"Hmm, these guys are well organized," said Genma.
Soun covered his face with his hands, shaking his
head. "No, please no. Tell me this isn't happening,"
he muttered.
The van pulled up in front of them. Out of the
sunroof on top appeared a man in white overalls, his
chest heavily bedecked with ribbons. He pulled on a
combination cap; it's single silver star gleaming in
the light, put on a pair of dark sunglasses, placed a
corncob pipe between his teeth, and looked around.
"Unit 21!" the General called in a commanding
voice. The two exterminators quickly rushed forwards,
snapping to attention. "Where is the infestation?"
Genma and Soun were still staring in surprise at
the force gathered in front of their home. Hearing the
General's comment, Soun broke from his shock, looking
up at him.
"There is no infestation in my Dojo!" he said
angrily.
A frown appeared on the General's face. "Is this
true?" he asked the two men.
"Sir! I have seen this thing with my own two
eyes!"
"So have I, sir!"
The General thought a moment. "Mister Tendo. My
men do not usually make mistakes like this."
"I'm telling you this problem can be handle
without your assistance!" raged Soun.
"Ah, I understand now," replied the General with a
laugh. "There is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone
gets an occasional pest problem in their home. Our
work is strictly confidential, so you've no need to
worry about the neighbors."
Soun started sharply. "What?"
"Um, General," Genma cut in quickly. "Might I
suggest we go inside and talk about this over tea. I
believe once you hear our explanation, this little
misunderstanding will all be cleared up."
"Sounds reasonable, but first,"
Reaching down into the cab, the General produced a
bullhorn. <Men, the target is--.> He paused, turning
back around to the two exterminators. "What and where
is the target?"
"A cricket, sir!" they both replied.
<Men, the target is . . .>
The General's head snapped back around. "What do
you mean `A' cricket!" he growled down at them.
"Yes, sir. A cricket, a very large cricket,"
replied one.
"His name is Chu-Chu," added Genma.
"You men called a class A1 on . . . a cricket?"
"A giant cricket, sir!" said the other
exterminator.
Slamming a fist down, the General leaned over.
"Have you two been drinking on the job again?" he
shouted.
"No, sir!" they replied, clearly shaking in their
boots.
"What and idiotic story! Giant crickets.
Impossible!"
A thump sounded on top of the van, Chu-Chu's dark
figure landing right next to the General then leaped
away over his head. Several lost looks followed the
cricket as it bounded down the street. Kasumi pushed
her way through the crowd of stunned exterminators.
"Chu-Chu, please stop. You're going to cause
nothing but problems for me!" she called, running after
him.
Ranma appeared right after her, bounding casually
along the wall across the street, giving them a
curious gaze as he passed.
"`Scuse us," said Akane, shooting by on a
skateboard.
Silence fell over the crowd, jaws agape at what
they had just seen. The General made a slight shake
with his head then cleared his throat. Pulling the
bullhorn up, he spoke again to his troops.
<Men, the target is . . . THAT CRICKET. GET IT!>
he shouted.
A loud cry filled the air as the ranks of
exterminators surged down the street in pursuit of Chu-
Chu.
"Damn," muttered Genma shaking his head.
"Now you were saying something about tea,"
continued the General.
"Yes. I believe we need to discuss this matter."
"Definitely," added Soun.
Climbing out of the van, the General followed
Genma to the dojo. Soun gave the fading mass of
exterminators one last look then shook his head.
"Hello, Mister Tendo," a voice said. Soun turned
to find Ryoga Hibiki, his wife Akari, and their prized
family of Sumo pigs standing behind him.
"Ah, Ryoga," he said. "A bit early."
"We thought it would be nice to take in lunch with
Ranma and Akane," said Akari. "Are they around?"
"Well, they went out to help Kasumi catch Chu-
Chu."
The couple paused, blinking their eyes at the
news.
"They went to catch a train?" questioned Ryoga.
Soun laughed. "No, no. It is kind of a humorous
story. Come inside and I will tell you everything."
Akari turned to the Sumo pig behind her. "Okay,
Katsunishiki. Take the family twice around the block.
I'll expect you back in twenty minutes."
The large pig grunted, leading his family down the
street.
"They might want to be careful," suggested Soun.
"They'll be alright," she replied.
Soun shrugged, leading them inside.
=
* * * * *
=

Cycling their way through the streets of Nerima,
Shampoo and Mousse rode side by side on their way with
several deliveries around the town. A glance at her
watch told Shampoo it was getting close to noon,
Mousse's supposed hour of doom he'd predicted earlier
that morning.
"Mousse, you about to lose bet for time off," she
said to him.
"Good. That is one bet I am more than willing to
lose, Shampoo. Beats having to put up with another day
of weird and unusual happenings," he replied.
Shampoo had to agree. It was turning out to be
such a nice day, and she actually enjoyed their rides
together. That brought concern through her mind once
more. Several hours from now she would be at the Tendo
dojo, either challenging Akane for Ranma, or
confronting her great-grandmother about how she really
felt. In either case, someone would get hurt
emotionally or physically, and that was not what
Shampoo desired. If only Mousse could find favor in
great-grandma's eyes, she thought. He actually not bad
man to have as husband, but then what about
responsibility to tribe back in China?
Shampoo pushed the thoughts from her mind,
concentrating on their current job. She picked up the
pace edging ahead.
"Hey Shampoo, wait up!" Mousse called pedaling
faster.
Shampoo smiled, looking back over her shoulder.
"Come, come, slow poke. You try to catch Shampoo."
Mousse grinned, putting more effort into his
exertions. He was only an arm length away when
suddenly a blurred form hit him from the side. Mousse
let out a short cry as he was jerked from the bicycle.
It and all of the orders in the carry boxes crashed to
the street.
Shampoo came to a screeching halt, spinning
around.
"Mousse, you okay! Shampoo not mean too--."
She paused, mouth gaping open in terror. She drew
in several haggard breaths, unable to do much more than
that. Mousse slowly sat up, shaking his head. Soup,
noodles, and assorted vegetables stained his shirt,
mixing into a large mess on the street. Fixing his
glasses, Mousse gazed around.
"Oh, look at this will'ya!" he exclaimed. "That
withered old monkey is going to have my head for sure
now!"
Shampoo's stammering caught his attention.
"What's wrong?" he asked. She pointed to something
behind him. "Huh?" wondered Mousse, looking back.
Amidst the combination of Mousse's hair and the
food on the ground sat the largest cricket he'd ever
seen. It currently enjoyed a meal of hair and noodles,
gobbling them down with hardly a pause.
Mousse let out a cry hopping to his feet, Shampoo
breaking from her shock to join in.
"What is it, get it off me, what is it, get it off
me!" he shouted, desperately trying to shake it away.
Chu-Chu dangled from Mousse's hair for a few
moments longer before finally loosing his grip. He
landed in the middle of the street, turning around.
The bright color of Shampoo's hair caught his eyes.
Thinking it to be a new flavor, Chu-Chu's antenna went
ridged, springing towards her. The ravenous cricket
was right on target, sending her and the bike crashing
to the ground.
Shampoo flailed madly on the street, quickly
untangling herself from the mess. Mousse ran over.
"Shampoo, are you alright!" he said.
"Shampoo fine! Where monster bug?"
"I don't know. I thought--." He stopped, hearing
a light rapid snick coming from behind her. Peering
slowly over her shoulder, Mousse found the cricket
nibbling happily on the ends of her ponytails.
"Uh oh."
Shampoo looked back, got one look at Chu-Chu, and
let out a scream to the heavens above.
"AAAAAAAYYYYYIIIIIEEEE! Get off, get off!" she
cried running in a mad circle, arms waving frantically
about.
"I'm not on you, Shampoo?" said Mousse.
"Not you. Get monster bug off Shampoo!"
A sharp slap from Mousse sent Chu-Chu across the
street to the curb. He scurried upright and was about
to attack, when Ranma leaped out of nowhere, catching
him in his arms.
"Got you, you little troublemaker!" he said. Chu-
Chu struggled leaping into the air, Ranma crying out.
Fortunately for him, he was too heavy for the cricket
to go far landing a short distance away.
"Alright, Chu-Chu that's as far as you . . . AH!"
They sailed through the air again.
"Okay, you want to play rough, eh. Well I can . .
. OOH!"
Another hard landing put stars in Ranma's eyes.
Ranma groaned, but maintained his grip. He felt the
cricket prepping for another leap.
"Wait, I'm sorry Chu--!"
Chu-Chu's final leap put Ranma out of the
struggle, and he climbed out of his arms. Before he
could make good his escape, Kasumi suddenly stood
before him, fist set angrily on her hips.
"Chu-Chu, you bad thing you!" she scolded him.
Chu-Chu's antenna sagged sadly beneath his body,
letting out a low chirp sensing her displeasure. She
picked him up.
"Ooo, if you were my child I would be tanning you
bottom right now. Look at this mess you've made!"
Akane knelt next to Ranma, taking him in her arms.
"Ranma, Ranma are you okay?" she asked him.
He groaned, think how much of a silly question
that was. "Uh . . . no, Akane. I just got my butt
kicked by a cricket," he replied.
"Well, it's good to see you can't beat everybody,"
she said giggling.
"Yeah, yeah thanks, sweetheart."
"Ranma!" shouted Mousse. "What in the hell is
that thing?"
"That, Mousse, is Chu-Chu," he answered.
Mousse stared at the cricket. "You can say that
again," he finally said.
Shampoo stalked angrily over to Kasumi. She gave
the cricket in her arms a withering glare, barely able
to hold back the urge to kill.
"Shampoo assume you owner of jumping train," she
said to her.
"Uh, I'm just watching him for a friend," said
Kasumi.
"Then you pay for damages! Look at what monster
bug do to Mousse and Shampoo's deliveries."
"Chu-Chu is not a bug, he's a cricket," Kasumi
corrected the girl.
"It not matter! What we do? Great-grandmother
kills us both for this!" She snatched up the end of
her hair, holding it up. "And look what cricket do to
Shampoo's ponytail!"
"I see you two have discovered Chu-Chu's appetite
for hair," teased Akane.
"Hey, you guys ought to be proud of that," added
Ranma. "He's a connoisseur you know."
Mousse and Shampoo both frowned at them not
humored in the least bit by the situation.
"I'm sorry, Shampoo," Kasumi said. "You're right.
I'll pay for all the damages as soon as I get Chu-Chu
back home."
A loud clamor up the street caught their
attention. Down the street came a squad of
exterminators, sifting through every garbage can they
passed in search of their elusive prey. Shampoo's eyes
cut over to the cricket, then she began to call waving
her hands.
"Yoo-hoo, bug-killers. Shampoo have one for you
to exterminate!"
Ranma shot to his feet. "What do you think you're
doing?" he shouted grabbing her arms.
"Shampoo getting rid of dangerous bug. Especially
since bug eat like Ranma. Menace to food chain."
He stared at her in total disbelief. A snicker
from Akane made him frown, then Kasumi joined in.
"Okay, laugh it up girls," Ranma said.
"Uh, Ranma. I think if you want to keep that
thing alive, you had better be worried about them
instead of your ego," Mousse said.
Up the street, the exterminators finally caught
sight of Chu-Chu. Jaws sagged, then one of them cried
out, "The Target!" They broke into a run, spray wands
flashing from their holsters.
"What time is it, Shampoo! What time is it?"
Mousse said sarcastically pointing to his wrist.
"Shut up, silly," she replied. "We get bikes and
leave before trouble start."
"Oh right, that's easier said than done," he
replied.
The exterminators stopped, lining up across the
street with nozzles pointed at them all.
"You, beautiful woman. Place the bug on the
ground and step aside!" ordered one of the
exterminators.
Kasumi let out a giggle, blushing at his comment.
"Oh, you don't really . . . hey, Chu-Chu is not a bug.
He's a cricket!"
"Put the target on the ground. We do not want to
hurt anyone, but we are authorized deadly force if
necessary!"
Akane took a fearful step towards them, arms out
before her. "Guy's this is all a bad mistake," she
said trying to reason with them. "I'm sure if you just
wait a moment--,"
"There is no time for waiting. The target must be
eliminated!"
"It's not like he killed anybody," said Ranma
standing next to Akane.
Shampoo gave Mousse a light nudge on the arm. "We
go now," she said moving towards her bike on the
ground. Mousse nodded in agreement reaching down to
pick up his.
"Last chance. Put down the bug!" the exterminator
order again.
"No!" replied Kasumi hugging Chu-Chu tight to her
chest. "Chu-Chu's harmed nobody, and stop calling him
a bug. He's a cricket!"
"What time is it, Shampoo? What time is it!"
Mousse said again.
Safeties snapped off; Ranma and Akane stepping
back into defensive stances.
"Run, Kasumi!" shouted Akane.
The exterminators let out a yell as Kasumi turned
bolting down the street. Ranma and Akane both made
sweeping kicks through the air, knocking the spray
wands away from their intended target. Several streams
of the insecticide rained down towards Shampoo. She
yelped, leaping off her bike out of harms way. A loud
pop followed as the liquid ate its way through both
tires; metal bars hissing as it corroded into steaming
puddles. Shampoo drew in a loud gasp clutching the
sides of her head.
"OYIII! Shampoo's bike. You kill Shampoo's
bike!"
"Hey, that was an expensive, and very vital
delivery bike you guys just destroyed!" shouted Mousse.
The exterminators were not listening to him,
staring at Kasumi's retreating figure down the street.
They charged only to run into Ranma and Akane's blows,
stopping them in their tracks. Shampoo joined the
fray, letting out an angry growl as she attacked.
"Sure, Shampoo. Avoid the mayhem. Nothing's
going to happen . . .right," said Mousse staring at the
scene. Two of the exterminators broke free, rushing
after Kasumi. He sighed dismounting.
"So where do you guys think you're going?" he
said. Grabbing the bike by the center bar, Mousse
picked it up and hit each of them with the tires,
knocking them to the ground. Two more attacked, Mousse
rolling his eyes as he battled them back.
=

* * * * *
=

Kasumi cut over to the next street, barely loosing
stride as she carried Chu-Chu away from the
exterminators. Finally, she stopped at the next
corner, drawing in large breaths trying to regain some
of her strength. Kasumi looked down at the cricket in
her arms.
"Oh Chu-Chu, why couldn't you just be good for a
few days?" she said to him. "Now look what's
happening. My sister's called out an army of mad
exterminators, the neighbors are up at arms, and you
eat everything in sight."
Chu-Chu let out a short chirp, nuzzling his head
up under Kasumi's chin. She giggled, enduring his
playful moves.
"Chu-Chu, ha, ha, ha, s-stop you're tickling me!"
she said. All her anger melted away, Kasumi giving the
cricket a firm hug. "Oh, I know you're sorry.
Nobody's going to hurt you, I'll make sure of--."
Kasumi stopped, looking down to find Chu-Chu
gazing up at her, mouth full of her ponytail. Angrily,
she held him up in the air. "OOH, I should have
known!" she said. "Eating. Is that all you do?"
Chu-Chu took a last nibble letting the ponytail
fall away. He let out a chirp, then burped.
"Serves you right. I hope crickets can get
heartburn. That will teach you to . . . eat . . .
everything . . . around?"
Kasumi's scolding would have to wait; she suddenly
noticed the shocked stares from a small crowd that
formed around her. All eyes were locked on Chu-Chu, a
foreboding hush in the air. She smiled, pulling him
close once more.
"Uh, he's really harmless once you get to know
him," she said.
Nobody moved, then a loud whopping noise filled
the air. Everyone turned to gaze up at the pair of
attack helicopters moving slowly above the street.
Their white fuselages gleamed beneath the midday sun;
the dark silhouette of a cockroach surrounded by a
bright red circle with a slash through it identifying
the owners.
"Oh dear," muttered Kasumi as the pilots caught
sight of Chu-Chu. She did not wait, sprinting through
the crowd down the street. The choppers lit out after
her
A strange chase developed, Kasumi crying out
desperately as streams of insecticide stitched a path
in the street behind her. All she could think about
was how much of a disaster this had become. It was
like being in an action movie. First `Street Fighter',
then `Apocalypse Now'. Hopefully this would not turn
into `Jurassic Park', or things might really get out of
hand.
Ducking abruptly back beneath the choppers, Kasumi
bolted down a side street. Her pursuers split up,
flanking wide in an attempt to cut her off. She came
out into another street close by the open air shopping
area, thinking she could loose them in the crowd. That
was not a very good idea, panicked screams cutting the
air as the patrons scattered for the four winds.
Kasumi tried to calm them down, but it was to
late. The suddenly open space around her made a
perfect target for the helicopters to zero in on.
Before she knew it, they were zooming down along the
promenade towards her.
There was no time to dodge, Kasumi letting out a
cry as they closed. In desperation, she tipped over a
display of crystal knick-knacks, hunkering down behind
the table. Insecticide splattered off its clear glass
surface, the hiss from the chemical reaction sounding
through the air.
Kasumi grimaced bolting from her cover towards a
covered portion of the mall. The two choppers circled
over the area like waiting vultures, searching in vain
for sight of their intended quarry. After several
minutes of nothing, they sped off to continue the hunt
elsewhere . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Careful to keep Chu-Chu huddled close out of
sight, Kasumi stood underneath the cover of a large
awning hoping that she might lose her pursuers for a
moment. The beat of their blades streaked overhead,
Kasumi crouching lower as they passed. She listened
for a few minutes for their return, but the sound faded
away. With a sigh, she stood up.
"Whew, that was close," she said to the cricket.
"Things like this only happen in the movies . . . and
anime of course."
Glancing down, she noticed Chu-Chu staring up at
her, antenna waving happily about. She frowned.
"Now don't you tell me you've been enjoying this
little trip," she snapped at him.
Chu-Chu let out two chirps, settling himself in
her arms waiting for more of the fun to begin.
"Oh, no you don't! I see some serious cage time
for you, buster," she continued.
"Chreep?" sounded the cricket.
"This is the last babysitting job I do for
anyone!" Kasumi stormed out from beneath the awning
out into the open street. Ignoring the cries around
her, she looked back and forth, trying to get her
bearings.
"And once I'm rid of you, I'm going to learn how
to say no," she continued raving, heading down the
sidewalk. "'I'm sorry, Mrs. Kagero, but no, I cannot
watch your darn cat. Take him to the pound!' `No,
Miss Sachikawa, your dog will just have to freeze!'
`Yes, you heard right, daddy. I said no! Fix your own
breakfast!'"
Kasumi came to a stop at the corner of a four-way
intersection. She let out a sigh, glancing around.
"Ah. That felt somewhat good. No . . . my new
motto. What do you think, Chu-Chu?"
The cricket was not listening, antenna ridged as
he stared over at something across the street. Kasumi
followed his gaze, straight towards the open doors of a
fabric store, spools of every type of cloth on display
in the storefront windows.
"Oh, no. Please, Chu-Chu no--."
Careful not to hurt Kasumi, Chu-Chu leaped from
her arms hopping happily across the street towards this
smorgasbord before him. Staggering, Kasumi caught
herself staring with terror as the cricket disappeared
through the entrance. Not long after that, hideous
shrieks cut the air, a flurry of women boiling out of
every exit they could find.
"Chu-Chu!" she cried, running across the street.
=

* * * * *
=

Akane and Ranma were in full stride running down
the streets of Nerima in search of their lost sibling,
and her troublesome charge. It was not hard to pick up
her trail, the signs of mayhem amongst the people
around them making it all that more easy. Two white
helicopters sped overhead, a crowd of women running in
the opposite direction across the street following
shortly there after.
"We're getting hot, Akane," Ranma said.
Akane nodded, smiling. He noticed, asking her
what was so funny.
"Just think about all the times we were the ones
always running from some crowd. This is nice break,
don't you agree?" she answered.
Ranma frowned. "We'll if you can call it that.
Personally, I don't find chasing after Mothra's cousin
any type of a break."
"Oh stop it," replied Akane, punching him
playfully in the arm.
Rounding the next corner, they staggered to a halt
gapping at what lie ahead. At the local fabric store
across the street, every display window had been broken
out; rolls of fine linen, silk, cotton blends in every
style and color strewn about the street. Traffic had
stopped; people watching as the store owner held one of
Kasumi's arms, swatting her about the head and
shoulders repeatedly with a folded fan.
"And to think I gave your loan-shark sister a
major discount for Akane's dress!" the elderly
seamstress said increasing her blows.
Kasumi covered up as best she could, desperately
trying to get away. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Oshiri! I'll pay
for all the damages!"
"Ha! This is how you show your gratitude? Look
at my store. Look at my merchandise!"
Ranma pulled her away.
"Kasumi, what happened?" asked Akane.
"Chu-Chu went into the fabric store," she replied.
"That little cretin ruined my place!" shouted Mrs.
Oshiri. "Hopping around, scaring off potential
customers, knocking over my displays. Ooh, let me go
young man. I'll kill her, and that, that thing!"
She began struggling in Ranma's arms, turning
around to pummel him with blows across the head. As
Ranma cowered beneath the beating, Akane moved Kasumi
off to a safe distance.
She let her recover for a moment. "Better?"
Kasumi nodded. "Chu-Chu is making such a mess out
of today. I never should have taken him."
"Let's worry about blame later. Right now, we
have to find him. Which way did he go?"
Her sister pointed up the street. "Ranma, we're
going!" Akane called over her shoulder as she and
Kasumi rushed off.
Ranma ducked away from Mrs. Oshiri, apologizing
for all the trouble as he ran to join them.
=

* * * * *
=

A short time after, they found themselves standing
before Ukyo Kuonji's restaurant; Ucchan's, a crowd of
people milling nervously about outside the two
entrances. Ranma stuck his head in and looked around.
There seated at the counter sat Shampoo; Ukyo
nursing the various cuts and bruises on her face with a
cotton swab from a first aid kit. In the dining area,
Kurenai Tsubasa swept up the scattered bits of broken
plates and half eaten meals from the floor, muttering
something to himself while he worked. At the other
side of the room, Mousse sat sipping a glass of warm
tea, waiting patiently for Shampoo.
"Hello, all," he said gaining their attention.
"Oh, Ranma Honey," Ukyo replied.
Akane forced Ranma's head down to the floor.
"Watch that `Ranma Honey' stuff, Ukyo," she said.
"No harm intended, Akane. Thought you two were
taking the day off?"
Ranma stood up. "We are. Unfortunately, we're
helping Kasumi chase down a pet cricket."
An ominous silence passed through the restaurant,
as the trio suddenly became the center of attention. A
dark glower formed on Ukyo's face, and she narrowed a
brow.
"You mean that beast that just ran across my
countertop scaring away my customers belongs to you?"
she growled.
"I take it you've seen him," Ranma replied.
"Yeah, we've seen him," snapped Tsubasa. "Helped
himself to a free meal, then skipped out without
paying."
Kasumi let out a frustrated sigh, shaking her
head.
"Kurenai, I hardly think Chu-Chu is about to pay
for much of anything," Akane said.
"Well the six o'clock express owes me fifteen
hundred yen," said Ukyo. "Who's going to pay for
that?"
"We'll make good on it," Ranma answered her.
Akane pinched him in the ribs. They traded angry looks
before he continued.
"Which way did he go?"
"That way," replied Ukyo pointing towards the far
doors. "Towards the Market with a crazy mob of
exterminators hot on his heels too."
"Goodness!" cried Kasumi, dashing out the door.
"Thanks, Ukyo," said Akane. "Kasumi wait up!"
Ranma stopped at the doorway. "See all of you
tonight. Later!" he said running after them.
Ukyo and Kurenai traded confused looks, wondering
what was going on. She looked at Shampoo, but the
Amazon raised a hand.
"Best not to ask," Shampoo said.
Ukyo wisely took her advice.
=

* * * * *
=

"Boy does that cricket move fast!" said Ranma as
he lead Akane and Kasumi down the street. Still no
sign of Chu-Chu the chase moving into the open-air
marketplace. This would be an ideal place for the
perpetually hungry cricket to go and wrack havoc, but
things looked strangely normal. Ranma brought them to
a stop.
"This is getting us nowhere," he said.
"What do we do now?" asked Akane.
He thought a moment, quickly forming a plan.
"Let's split up. I'll search the area from the
rooftops. You two go around the block. With some luck
one of us will come across him."
"And if we don't?" asked Kasumi.
"Keep looking," he replied. "But for something
like that on the loose, I'm sure we'll find a trail."
Ranma leaped nimbly up on top of a near-by roof,
waving good bye as he bounded off out of sight.
"Come on, Kasumi," said Akane running on down the
street.
=

* * * * *
=

The girls soon reached the end of the block deep
in the heart of the meat market. Stopping for a
moment, they realized that Chu-Chu could be in a myriad
of places, the various stalls and displays of fresh
produce idea for the ravenous insect to make a grand
feast of things. Kasumi looked at Akane, and she
shrugged not knowing where to start looking. Taking
the right side of the street, Kasumi and Akane began a
slow search, hoping to catch sight, or hear anything
that might mark Chu-Chu's whereabouts.
Suddenly from a side alley a loud cry was heard,
followed by what sounded like the clamor of a brawl in
progress. They ran over to see what was going on,
hoping to find Chu-Chu, but instead Nabiki appeared
running from something, two piglets in her arms.
"Nabiki!" shouted Akane. Her sister stopped,
running in place.
"Oh, hi Akane, Kasumi," she said.
"Nabiki, what on earth are you doing down here?"
asked Kasumi.
"Would you believe conducting a rescue," she
replied.
"What!" they both said.
"Yes. I'd love to stay and chat, but I do believe
I had better be moving along."
The clamor picked up; several cutting knives
suddenly winging past Nabiki's head.
"Keep running, Nabiki!" Tatewaki Kuno's voice
called above the din. "I'll hold these vermin off!"
"Oops, got a run. See'ya!"
"Nabiki, wait. You've got to call off those mad
exterminators before they kill Chu-Chu!" cried Kasumi.
It was to late; Nabiki bolting off down the
street. The shouting and yelling reached its peak, and
then Tatewaki appeared fending off an angry pack of
butchers and shop owners with his bokuto as he
retreated. He glanced over immediately recognizing
them.
"Ah, the Fair Akane, and her charming sister," he
said hardly loosing a step. "I'm truly sorry, but I
cannot stay and chat at the present moment. Business."
Two shopkeepers tried to cut around him on either
side, but Tatewaki casually dispatched them before they
could pass.
"Well, I must go, but I will see you tonight.
Take care."
Tatewaki continued his retreat, he and his
attackers disappearing around the corner.
Akane and Kasumi traded lost looks.
"And here I was thinking that we were the only
ones having troubles today," said Kasumi.
Akane could only scratch her head in wonder,
following Kasumi as they continued their search . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Grumbling angrily to himself, Ranma hopped across
the rooftops, taking occasional glances around down at
the streets below. So far no sign of the elusive
cricket, and he was beginning to think seriously about
letting the exterminators do their job and end this
crazy chase.
"Whoever said crickets were supposed to bring good
luck obviously was drunk off their gourd," he said.
"Luck? Ha! Bad luck if anything. Just a simple quiet
day that's all I ask. Four years of insanity; finally
get Akane to marry me, and what happens? Chu-Chu, the
cricket from nine hells. There's got to be some just--
."
BAFF!
Ranma cried out as he collided with somebody head
on. Grabbing hold of a T.V. antenna, he cleared his
eyes looking to see whom it was. There, clutching the
same antenna stood Ryoga holding his forehead in silent
pain. They stared at each other for a moment.
"Not now, Ranma. I'm looking for some pigs!"
shouted Ryoga.
"Not now, Ryoga. I'm looking for a cricket!"
Ranma replied.
Both men paused, frowning at each other. "Huh?"
they said.
Speechless, Ranma stared at him, then shrugged.
"See you tonight?" he asked.
"Yeah . . . yeah," replied Ryoga still confused.
Ranma leap over to the next roof then stopped,
thinking about Ryoga's comment. He turned, ready to
ask him what he meant, then thought the better of it.
Strange, thought Ranma moving on.
=

* * * * *
=

After turning up nothing on Chu-Chu, Akane and
Kasumi decided to head back to the dojo in hopes that
he'd try to return there for safety. As they walked,
Akane kept a wary eye on her sister, noting the sudden
change in her attitude. She was gazing aimlessly out
into space, oblivious to her surroundings.
"No . . . No!" Kasumi kept repeating, her smile
drawing wider every time she spoke the word.
"Kasumi?" Akane said. "Are, are you okay?"
Kasumi looked at her, eyes wide. "No!" Kasumi
replied. Her head tipped back, and she let out a
crazed laugh. "It's getting so easy to say!"
She's finally lost it, thought Akane. "Maybe we
should take you to see Doctor Tofu, okay?"
Kasumi glanced around. "No!" she said laughing
again.
The picture of a straightjacket came to Akane's
mind, but before she could grab her deranged sister, a
shout sounded from behind them. Up the street they
could see people cringing against the building walls as
Chu-Chu hopped frantically towards them. Hot on his
tail ran a large pack of exterminators, letting out
cries of anger as they pursued their elusive quarry.
"Chu-Chu. Chu-Chu come to me!" cried Kasumi.
"What! No, stay away Chu-Chu. Go away, Go away!"
Akane shouted desperately.
Chu-Chu welcomed the sight of a friendly face,
bounding cheerfully into Kasumi's outstretched arms.
Just as Akane feared, the exterminators bore down on
them, malice in their eyes.
"BANZAI!" they shouted, picking up speed.
"Oh great . . . RANMA!"
Streams of insecticide streaked towards them, pot-
marking the concrete with steaming holes. Akane and
Kasumi dodged the attacks, retreating up the street.
Akane called Ranma's name again as the distance closed.
Suddenly, from the rooftops, Ranma appeared leaping
down into the lead exterminators. A pile-up of bodies
quickly resulted, then Ranma broke free, fending off
their attempts to take him down. Akane stopped,
looking back.
"Keep going, Kasumi," she told her sister. "I'm
going back to help Ranma."
Akane rushed off leaving Kasumi standing in the
street, a helpless look on her face. She knew they
could handle themselves, and turned running up an
adjoining street.
The sounds of battle died away, and Kasumi thought
it safe enough to slow down and rest. In her arms, Chu-
Chu panted heavily, exhausted after his near brush with
death. He looked up, giving Kasumi a gentile rub on
the arm.
"Oh, Chu-Chu what have we done," she said hugging
him close. "I don't want them to hurt you, but I don't
know if I can get you back home safely."
Chu-Chu chirped, antennae drooping sadly.
Kasumi smiled staring into his dark, lidless eyes.
"You're still cute," she said "I'll get you home.
Someway, somehow I will get you back to the dojo.
You'll see."
An ominous gust of wind carried down the street;
Kasumi shuddering slightly from its brief chill. She
heard a low laugh, looking up to see someone leaning
casually up against the corner lamppost. He was tall,
and dressed strangely in gray overalls, Western-style
cowboy boots, a serape, and a low top wide-brimmed hat
tipped over his eyes. Another gust of wind passed;
tumbleweeds blowing across the street down a side
alley. The stranger chucked again.
"That's a nice thought there, little lady," he
said in a rough voice. "But I'm afraid I'm ah gonna
half'ta . . . disappoint you."
Kasumi stared at him, mouth dropping open in
disbelief. She was not sure if this guy was for real
or not, trying hard to keep from laughing.
"Um . . . should I know who you are?" she asked.
The stranger stood up, turning to face her. He
tipped his hat back with a flick of a finger to stare
at her with cold, dark eyes. Badly in need of a shave,
he chewed lightly on the end of a short cigar, rolling
it from one corner of his mouth to the other in a
casual motion.
"They call me . . . `The Gunslinger'. The
Gunslinger-Exterminator," he said.
Kasumi closed her eyes, head shaking slightly.
Television, look what its done to our society, she
thought.
"I take care of all the `troublesome' pest,"
continued the Gunslinger.
"Chu-Chu is not a pest. He's a cricket!" replied
Kasumi.
"Nevertheless . . . he's the target, and I'm here
to take him out."
A light flip folded back the serape, exposing a
pair of spray guns holstered at each hip. Again,
another gust of wind, tumbleweeds being swept along
across her path.
"Now why don't you put down the rodent and step
aside," said the Gunslinger breaking Kasumi's curious
stare away from the passing brush.
"I will not. Chu-Chu is under my care, and I'm
not going to let you harm him!"
The Gunslinger rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"That's very admirable of you, little lady," he said.
"Devotion like that is rare. Unfortunately, you are
devoted to the wrong thing. Put down the bug and step
aside. I don't want to see you get hurt."
"No!" cried Kasumi. She paused to let out a short
giggle before continuing. "You're not killing Chu-Chu
without hurting me first, and he's not a bug, he's a
cricket!"
The Gunslinger's hands poised over the handles of
the spray guns. He eyed Kasumi, letting out a short
puff of smoke from his cigar. "Suit yourself," he
said.
Chu-Chu suddenly chirped loudly, squirming in
Kasumi's arms. With a short hop, he leaped down to the
street and started walking slowly towards the
Gunslinger-Exterminator.
"Chu-Chu, Chu-Chu come back!" called Kasumi. Chu-
Chu stopped, turning around to stare at her.
"He's giving himself up," said the Gunslinger.
"He knows its time to die. Animals can sense things
like that. Guess he does not want to see you get hurt
either."
Kasumi drew in a small gasp, touched by the
cricket's concern for her wellbeing. "Chu-Chu, you
don't have to do this," she said.
Chu-Chu let out a sad chirp, continuing towards
the Gunslinger.
"That's it, rodent. Keep on come'in. This will
be over real quick like."
"He's not a rodent, he's a cricket. How many
times do I have to say that!"
"He's about to be a dead cricket."
Chu-Chu stopped a few paces away from the
Gunslinger, staring at him curiously. The Gunslinger
chuckled, reaching down to release the safeties from
his spray guns.
"In light of what you did for the beautiful lady,
I'll make this real quick and . . . WHAT THE!"
In a flash, Chu-Chu sprang towards him, antennae
ridged. The Gunslinger jerked around, falling back to
the street. Pulling himself from his serape, he looked
to find Chu-Chu happily chewing on one corner. The
Gunslinger drew in a long gasp, face cover with an
expression of horror.
"Dyahh! Do you know how much this cost me? I had
it imported all the way from Hollywood. How dare you
defile such an item!"
The cricket paused long enough to let out a burp.
Kasumi let out a sigh. "Oh, Chu-Chu," she said
covering her face with her hands.
A short scuttle found Chu-Chu poised over the top
of his hat, eyeing it hungrily.
"Noooo!" cried the Gunslinger as the cricket took
a hardy chunk out of the top. Immediately, the spray
guns came up. "I'll kill you--, Ooof!"
Kasumi ran over the Gunslinger, knocking him face
down into the street. Scooping up Chu-Chu, she darted
around the corner.
"Chu-Chu. Worried about your stomach at a time
like this," she scolded. "Keep this up and I'm going
to start calling you Ranma!"
Behind her, the Gunslinger-Exterminator rounded
the corner, angrily watching her run down the street.
He pulled a walkie-talkie from his belt.
<All unit, this is the Gunslinger. The Target is
fleeing East down Tomoegawa Street. Converge and
attack!>
He slammed it back into his belt giving an angry
cry and set out after them . . .
=

* * * * *
=

"She's got to be somewhere around here," said
Ranma to Akane as they ran down the street.
"You'd think so," replied Akane. "But who knows.
Maybe she ran into more of those exterminators."
They rounded the bend spotting the Tendo Dojo a
few blocks ahead. No sign of either Kasumi or any
exterminators; the couple came to a halt looking
around.
"What now?" asked Ranma.
"Check the Dojo, and if she's not there we keep
looking," answered Akane.
A scream came from behind, Ranma and Akane tuning
to see Kasumi running pell-mell towards them with a
majority of the exterminators in pursuit.
"Good grief!" said Akane.
Ranma started running in place. "Akane, go open
the gate," he said.
"What about you?"
"I'll bring Kasumi. Just be ready to close the
doors behind us."
"Right!" replied Akane, sprinting off down the
street.
Ranma watched the mob closing him for a moment,
then began to slowly jog towards the dojo. Kasumi
finally caught up to him, and he picked up the pace,
matching her speed.
"So, ah I see you've brought some guest," he joked
to her.
"Not . . . now, Ranma," she replied.
"Bet you could use some help. Would you like
that?"
" . . . Yes!"
Laughing, Ranma scooped Kasumi up in his arms and
shot away from the exterminators with a burst of speed.
He arrived at the dojo gates moments before the mob,
dashing inside.
"Close'em, close'em, close'em!" he cried.
Akane threw the doors together, and just about had
the heavy wooden bar through the slots, when a hard
blow jarred it loose from her grasp knocking it to the
ground.
"Ranma!" she cried, leaning up against them. He
set Kasumi down, pushing up against the doors to
prevent the exterminators from forcing their way
inside.
The wooden gates creaked loudly as more
exterminators lent their strength to the fight. They
managed to part them slightly, just enough to force
applicator wands through to try and pry their way
inside.
"Get . . . the . . . bar!" Ranma said amidst his
grunts.
An Exterminator managed to force part of his head
and torso through the opening, growling at Ranma as he
tried to grab him. Kasumi rushed over, snatching his
cap from his head.
"Oh, get back, get back!" she cried smacking him
across the face several times with it. He snarled,
retreating out.
Finally, the trio got the doors shut, but the
exterminators were not to be stopped. They produced
SWAT type battering rams, beating repeatedly on the
gate. A loud series of tings sounded, Ranma looking up
at the walls to see several grappling hooks taking hold
along the top.
"Akane, repel boarders!" called Ranma.
Akane let out a gasp, dashing over to the garden
hose. Opening the water valve as far as it would go,
she began spraying the faces of the exterminators as
they appeared forcing them back.
Meanwhile, Ranma, Kasumi, and even Chu-Chu pressed
up against the doors still battling to keep them shut.
Ranma knew Akane could not hold them back for long, and
eventually he would tire out. "Kasumi, get the bar!"
he said again. She picked up the wooden bar and slid
it into place. Ranma sighed, staggering away. From the
way they were thrumming on the doors, it would not hold
for very long.
"Kasumi, get inside before . . . uh oh."
It was to late as several Exterminators leaped
down into the dojo grounds, charging towards them.
Ranma told her to run as he went to meet them.
Snatching up Chu-Chu, Kasumi scurried for the
front door. Before she could get half way, anther
swarm of exterminators boiled out from around the side
of the house. She let out a squeal retreating the way
she came.
It was a mad scene on the front lawn. Akane
squirting down exterminators, Ranma disarming others as
they tried to get past him, and Kasumi crying out to
the sky as she ran frantically around the lawn dodging
their attempts to catch her. Finally, a loud crash
sounded, the front gates bursting open to allow a horde
of exterminators in. Ranma, wielding a commandeered
spray wand in one hand, spun around in shock.
"Akane, look out there's more!" he called.
Akane turned, got a brief glimpse of the gold
colored wand in his hands, and let loose with a heavy
stream of water before realizing what she had done.
Turning the water off, she grimaced as Ranko let the
water run down her face.
Ranko smacked her lips, looking herself over.
"Yep, good job, Akane," she said.
The clack of safeties echoed around them. Ranko,
Akane, and Kasumi stared at the threatening nozzles
pointed at them in fear.
"Surrender the target!" came the command from one
of the Exterminators. Kasumi drew in a sharp breath,
pulling Chu-Chu up closer to her chest.
"No," she said sadly, then giggled.
The Exterminators leaned closer, fingers tense
ready to pull the triggers that would end the crickets
life. Ranko cut her eyes to either side, then walked
over to Kasumi. She looked around again, then gazed at
Chu-Chu with a friendly smile.
"You are kind'a cute," she said patting him
affectionately on the head. "But I'm afraid you're a
dead insect there, Chu-Chu."
Akane jerk Ranko away by her ponytail, glaring
angrily at her.
"Last chance. Put down the Target and step
aside!"
Kasumi trembled, staring at the furious faces
around her, but refused to let Chu-Chu go. As long as
Chu-Chu was under her care, she would not let anyone
harm him, even if it meant injury to herself.
"Do your worst!" she shouted, head held high.
The front door opened behind them, Soun, Genma,
and The General stepping out.
"Hold your fire men," ordered the General.
The exterminators drew back, confused looks
covering their faces. Stepping through them, the
General came around to take a closer look at Chu-Chu.
He eyed him for a moment then rubbed his chin letting
out a hum.
"Interesting, very interesting," he said. "Let
them go."
"What!" came the astonished cry from his people.
"You heard right. I said let them go."
"But sir. We have chased this creature all over
town," complained one exterminator. "The mayhem it
created, the damage it has caused . . . and now we are
allowing it to escape?"
"Look what it did to my hat!" cried the Gunslinger-
Exterminator, holding up his hat for him to see. "I
want his hide!"
Angry grumbles echoed around them, but the General
was adamant in his decision. He stamped an angry foot
down on the sidewalk, silencing them.
"Mister Tendo has explained everything to me," he
said. "This is just an unfortunate misunderstanding."
Soun grinned, running a nervous hand through his
hair. "Yes, yes, I'm sorry my daughter called you out
needlessly. If it is any compensation, you are all
invited to my daughter Akane's wedding and reception."
"Daddy!" shouted Akane.
"Boy, what a menu change this is going to be,"
said Ranko holding her head in her hands.
"A fine idea, Tendo," replied the General. "Well,
we will be off. Sorry for any trouble we may have
caused, Miss Tendo."
"Oh, no problem," replied Kasumi, smiling brightly
at him. "I'm used to these sort of happenings on a
daily basis."
The General arched a brow at her, wondering how
she managed to keep her sanity for so long. He bid her
good day, ordering the exterminators back out the
gates. Kasumi set Chu-Chu on the ground, waving good-
bye as they filed past, angry glares on their faces.
As the last of the exterminators exited the
grounds, Kasumi suddenly let out a deep sigh, shoulders
sagging.
"Whew. What an afternoon this has been," she
said.
"Yeah. I was expecting something harsher though,"
replied Ranko.
Akane stormed over to her father. "Daddy, how
could you invite all those people to my wedding!" she
raged at him. "I don't want them there!"
"Now Akane I don't think there's any harm in
having a few more people at your wedding," said Genma.
"It's supposed to be a joyous occasion. What's the
harm in that?"
"My wedding is not supposed to be a peace
offering!"
Ranko laughed. "Settle down, Akane. Pops right,
nothing wrong with sharing our joy. Besides, more
people means more gifts."
Akane settled down a bit. "Hmm, I guess you're
right," she said after a moment. "I guess cricket's do
bring some luck after all."
"Speaking of which. Where is our elusive guest,"
asked Soun.
"Oh no!" said Kasumi frantically looking around.
"No way, no way am I chasing that thing around
town again!" Ranko shouted.
"He's not a thing, he's a cricket," Kasumi
corrected her. "Chu-Chu could not have gone to far. I
just set him down."
"I would have seen him climb over the wall," said
Soun.
"And he didn't go past us around the corner,"
added Akane.
"Then the only place he could have gone is into
the house," Genma said.
They all turned looking at the open door.
"You don't suppose . . ." trailed Ranko suggesting
the worse.
Akane grimaced, dashing past them. The others
quickly followed, only to be startled by a loud scream
from the living room. There, quivering sharply on her
knees was Akane, stammering rapidly at the sight before
her. Her wedding dress on the dummy was intact all
ready for the final touches by Kasumi. However, the
long white train of silk drew their immediate
attention. Chu-Chu sat amidst its folds, nibbling
happily on the ends.
"Chu-Chu. You bad thing you!" shouted Kasumi.
A number ten mallet appeared in Akane's hand as
she rose to smite down the voracious creature attacking
her dress. Soun, Genma, and Ranko quickly grabbed her
before she could strike.
"Call them back. Call those Exterminators back!"
she growled struggling in their grasp. "I'll kill
this, this, CRICKET!"
Kasumi picked Chu-Chu up, pulling the train from
his mouth. She shook her head and held him up. He let
out a chirp, then burped.
"Oh, Chu-Chu," she said with a sigh . . .
=

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=

Second Half
My Little Piggies
=

The suns warm rays were just starting to climb
over the skyline of Nerima, bringing with it a brand
new day. Ryoga Hibiki lay in bed thinking about that,
pondering the decision to get up and face this fact, or
ignore it and go back to sleep.
"Ryoga-sama," his wife Akari called from the hall.
"Ryoga are you awake yet?"
He sighed. Guess that decides the issue, Ryoga
thought humorously to himself. Akari's footsteps
echoed through the hall and he quickly threw the sheets
over his head. The bedroom door slid open, Akari
peering inside.
"Ryoga-sama," she called again. A light snore
came from the bed, Akari letting out an exasperated
sigh. "Ryoga Hibiki wake your lazy self up," she said
stomping over to the side. Ryoga remained motionless
and she frowned.
"Ryoga?" she said kneeling closer.
The sheets suddenly flew over her head, Ryoga
playfully taking her about the waist, rolling her onto
the bed. Akari squealed, then broke out into a giggle
as Ryoga held her in a loving embrace. They kissed;
Akari letting out a light moan as her husband began to
nibble lightly about her neck and shoulders. She
wanted to let him continue, but knew that there was not
enough time. Gently she pushed him back.
"Something wrong, Akari?" asked Ryoga with a
frown.
"No, oh no, but we've got things to do that have
to be done this morning," she replied.
Ryoga smiled. He ran a finger playfully through
the long strands of her dark hair, twirling the pinkish
locks draping down the front of her face.
"Come now, woman. There is plenty of time to
play. It's not even six o'clock yet."
Akari took his hand in hers, rubbing it against a
cheek. "Don't do this to me, Ryoga," she said. "You
know the family has to be cleaned up today. We are
going into town, remember?"
Ryoga smirked. He sat up remembering the planing
party that he and Akari had been invited to. "That not
until this evening," he replied.
"I know, but I though it would be nice to take in
lunch with Ranma and Akane; do a little shopping. We
haven't selected a gift for them yet."
"Isn't it enough that I'm the bestman?"
Akari swatted him on the arm. "Ryoga Hibiki! You
ought to be ashamed of yourself after all they did for
us when we got married."
Yeah, that's true, thought Ryoga. Ranma and Akane
did help set things up for them after Ryoga managed to
propose to Akari. He especially owed Ranma for helping
him make enough money to buy the wedding ring, a fact
that honestly rankled his ego quite a bit. Still, he
was a friend.
Ryoga smiled, patting Akari lightly on the leg.
"Yep, your right as usual. Okay, I'm up now."
Akari sat up. "Thank you," she said pecking him
lightly on the cheek. "Now I'm going out to feed the
family. Get the baths ready, okay?"
Ryoga nodded. He watched as Akari shuffled out
the room, eyeing her shapely figure.
"Mmm hmm," he sounded with a mischievous smile . .
.
=

* * * * *
=

The Hibiki farm lay near the outskirts of Nerima
and the Tokyo perimeter on a several large acres of
land left to Akari by her grandfather after he passed
away. Caring for it was not hard of a task for the
couple; they enjoyed the work raising livestock for the
community. Profitable, and with Nabiki's expert
marketing skills a huge success. However, their main
sources of income lie with Akari's family of Sumo Pigs.
Her pride and joy, Akari groomed and cared for
Katsunishiki and his family with meticulous care;
balancing their diets, exercising them regularly to
maintain the show winning form she was so proud of.
Out away from the main livestock pens, Akari doled
out the special feed into the pig-families feeding
trough. On the other side waiting expectantly stood
Chi-Pin, mother of the eight little piglets rooting
impatiently at her feet. Akari peered over the fence,
giving Chi-Pin a happy smile.
"Hello, Piggy," she said using her pet name for
the sow. "And how is my loving family today?"
Chi-Pin let out a cheerful grunt. Akari looked
down at the piglets.
"Hello Ushiya, Nobu, Janine, Kam-Kui, Fujiko,
Seshio, Tomio, Yoshio!"
The eight little piglets squealed in delight
always happy to see Akari. She finished mixing the
meal and began singing a tune, opening the door.
=

Have you seen my little piggies,
Running in the yard,
As for all my little piggies,
Life can get no worse,
Work is never hard when you just
Play aaarrround.
=

Off to the side of the pen, Ryoga sat on the fence
watching Akari feed the pigs. Next to him on the
ground lay Katsunishiki listening to her as she sang to
his family.
"You know, Katsuni. Sometimes I envy you," Ryoga
said. "Boy what I would do for the royal treatment
that you and the rest of the pigs receive."
Katsunishiki grunted, a smile forming on his face.
Akari came over and poured the rest of the feed into
his trough.
"Here you go, Katsuni-chan," she said.
The hulking Sumo-pig rose and began feeding.
Ryoga jumped down from his perch.
"Hey, where's my breakfast?" he said jokingly.
"Find some cold water and I'm sure I could scrape
enough of the scraps up to feed you . . .P-chan," she
teased.
"Oh, funny. Very funny, honey."
Akari giggled. "I'm sorry. I'll fix you
something while you're cleaning up the kids."
Yeah, don't remind me," said Ryoga. "Bad enough
I've got to chase the little pirates around every time
I do this. By the way, why am I scrubbing them down?
It's not Sunday."
"They're going with us this afternoon," Akari
replied.
"What, into town? Geesh, Akari, don't you think
that's just a bit to much. I mean we are supposed to
be going to a party."
"Ryoga I already talked to Akane about it. She's
thrilled that the pigs are coming. She misses P-chan
you know."
"She does?"
"Yes. So I thought it would be nice to run the
kids by and cheer her up."
Ryoga felt bad about leaving Akane without telling
her the truth. At the time he thought it would be for
the best, not wanting her to get upset once she
realized that it had been him all this time in her
room, in her bed snuggling up with on cold winter
nights. Now look, all that did was hurt her.
He sighed. "Guess I should make an appearance,
eh?"
"No. She'd only lock you up, then what will I
tell her? `Excuse me, Akane. Can I have my husband
back now, please?'"
"That would certainly go over well with her, not
to mention Soun. He'd clean my clock on the spot."
Akari laughed. She wrapped her arms around his
waist, hugging him tight. "Besides, I'm not letting
her have you ever again. No."
"Ah, a little jealousy I sense here."
She looked up with a smile then kissed him on the
chin, resting her head on his chest. Ryoga held her
for a moment, then let out a sigh.
"Guess after the struggle, I'm going to have to
get the carrier hooked up to the truck," he said.
"No need. We're going to jog," replied Akari.
Ryoga frowned, gently pushing Akari away. "Jog?
All the way to the Tendo Dojo from here?"
"Yes. It's a running day for the family anyway."
"But that's six miles!"
"They normally do ten."
"What about the party tonight. We'll have to come
back, clean up and--,"
"Ryoga, stop worrying. I've already worked it
out. We'll just clean up over there that's all."
Ryoga thought about it. "Okay, if you say so,
dear," he said.
Akari looked over to the family of pigs. They
were just about done with breakfast, several of the
kids already playing about the pen.
"Yoo-hoo everybody!" she called to them.
Immediately the pigs gathered around, waiting for the
news Akari had for them. "Okay, we're all going into
town to see Akane and her family, and the best part is
we're going to do our daily exercise run at the same
time. Doesn't that sound like fun?"
Katsunishiki grumbled low, but for the rest of his
family, they were overjoyed. Akari called for their
attention again.
"But before we do, everyone gets a bath. I don't
want anyone giving Ryoga trouble. Is that clear,
little ones?"
The eight piglets glanced over at Ryoga, pondering
the consequences if they indulged in their weekly game
this time around. There would be other opportunities,
the piglets smiling up at her.
"Good. Now the waters all warmed up. Go wait
near the bath and he'll be there shortly."
Akari opened the gate and the Katsunishiki family
followed the Sumo-pig out.
"Now how come they listen to you and not me?"
asked Ryoga.
Akari shrugged. "I don't know. Good looks?"
Ryoga started, staring at her for a moment. "Um,
let me get going," he said walking out the pen, Akari's
giggles teasing him.
=

* * * * *
=

Midmorning at the Kuno estate:
=

Tatewaki Kuno sat behind his desk in the family
living room, casually leafing through the Kuno
Industries ledger. Occasionally he would shake his
head, then look through another ledger on the desk
comparing information.
"Not good," he said sighing heavily. Footsteps
sounded, and the door opened.
"Master Kuno," Sasuke, the Kuno manservant said as
he knelt on one knee. "Your sister, Kodachi has
arrived."
"Show her in."
Sasuke bowed, stepping out. Seconds later Kodachi
Kuno walked in dressed in a purple leotard with black
roses pictured along one side. She slammed the door
shut, glaring at Tatewaki.
"What is so urgent, brother dear, that I must
break away from my gymnastics practice to see you?" she
growled at him.
Tatewaki turned around. "I wanted to talk to you
about the financial situation," he answered her.
Some of the spark left Kodachi as she wondered
what had befallen the Kuno Industries.
"There's been a Stock Market crash," she said
sitting down on the couch.
"No, far from that."
Kodachi frowned. "Well if no crash, then what is
wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong . . . well nothing directly
anyway."
"Brother, you're talking in riddles to me. Why
have you called me here?"
Tatewaki stood up. "Kodachi, my dear demented
sister. I have been going through last quarters
ledgers, and frankly I am quite distraught at what I
have found."
"What is wrong with my ledger?" said Kodachi.
Tatewaki handed her a ledger and she looked it
over. "There is nothing wrong here. All the numbers
are correct." She said.
"Yes. Now look at this ledger."
Kodachi scanned through the numbers, gapping in
awe at the amount of monies accounted for. She
blinked, shaking her head.
"My, my, brother. There is over two million Yen
on account here."
"Uh-huh."
"Who is this fantastic accountant we have in our
employ?"
"That accountant is Nabiki Tendo."
Kodachi's head made a sharp twitch at the name.
She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, taking in
a sharp breath. Kodachi never liked Nabiki, always
suspicious of the scheming Tendo woman known
notoriously throughout the town as a vicious loan-
shark/extortionist. There was no doubt that Nabiki had
intentions for Tatewaki, personal and financial, but as
long as she was part of this family, Kodachi swore
Nabiki would see not one yen.
"S-s-so when did you h-h-hire . . . Nabiki?" she
managed to ask.
"Four moths ago. Quite industrious, don't you
think?"
Kodachi set the ledger down, looking up to him.
"So what does this have to do with me?"
Tatewaki smiled. "I was getting to that. You
see, well in short, I am thinking about combining
accounts. Make things easier to track, less trouble
and all."
"Oh. I see now. So you want me to take over her
accounts and merge them. That's easy enough."
Tatewaki leaned casually back against the desk.
"I was think more along the opposite lines, sister," he
said.
Kodachi nodded, and then a cold revelation hit
her. Her eyes went wide as realization took hold.
Slowly Kodachi stood up.
"No . . . No!" she shouted.
"Why not. Surely you can see the benefits of--,"
"No you don't, Tatewaki Kuno!" Kodachi raged at
the top of her lungs. "You will not fire me for some,
some . . . street tart!"
"Watch how you speak about my new Head
Accountant," Tatewaki snapped. "She is taking over,
and that is final."
"No!" Kodachi shot over, pressing up eye to eye
with her brother. "Father gave me that position, and
you can't take it away from me!"
"Father also gave me control of all Kuno
Industries. That gives me the right to hire, and fire,
as I see fit."
He was right, and Kodachi had to admit that fact.
She backed away from him, sitting back down on the
couch lost to the world.
"Tachi . . . I'm, I'm your sister," she pleaded to
him.
Tatewaki moved around the other side of the couch,
leaning close to her ear. "I have not forgotten. You
can still live here as long as you want. I know. Why
don't you find yourself a husband and settle down with
him. Raise children, grow black roses. Were you not
seeing that thing Gosunkugi? A smart boy from what
I've observed."
Kodachi blushed hiding her face. "Yes, well we've
been on and--." Suddenly she shot to her feet,
spinning around to glare at him with an icy stare.
"No, Tachi. I am not giving up that easy!"
"Well your resistance is admirable."
"I deserve better than this! I demand a chance to
prove my worthiness!"
Tatewaki laughed. "A chance? You haven't a
chance against Nabiki's skill." He reached over,
pulling both ledgers from the table. "Look, in the
same timeframe that Nabiki worked, you only made a
third of what she did!"
"I don't care. I know I can make just as much
money as she can!"
"Really?" Tatewaki looked at her for a second,
then back to the two ledgers. Cocking a brow, he
snickered lightly to himself.
"So you want a chance. Well, since you are blood
I will give it to you. Look here."
Kodachi came over, staring down at the entry he
pointed to.
"Nabiki made eight hundred thousand Yen in the
first three hours of her employment. Do you think you
can do that?"
Kodachi grimaced, thinking that she might have
gone one step to many on a short pier. Tatewaki
noticed the strained expression on her face.
"Too much? Okay, I'll reduce it. Four hundred
thousand Yen. If you can make that much by the time .
. . lets say by the time we have to be at Akane's party
tonight, then I will let you keep your position."
Kodachi thought for a moment. "I want more," she
finally said.
"More?"
"You also get rid of that bitch Nabiki. Kick her
totally out of our lives."
Now it was Tatewaki's turn to think. "I don't
have to agree to any of this you know," he replied.
"But since I've no fear that you will succeed, I
agree."
"And I get to feed her to Mr. Turtle!" she added.
"Let's not go overboard."
Kodachi smirked. "I accept you challenge, brother
dear. It will be nice to see the look on Tendo's face
when you kick her out!"
"There is one more thing, Kodachi," Tatewaki
added. "If you fail, in addition to your loss of
position, you will treat Nabiki as an honored member of
this family. Understood?"
Kodachi literally turned to stone at the idea.
Nabiki as a, a Kuno! She retched, barely holding down
her breakfast. Noticing that Tatewaki was still
waiting for her answer, she drew in a breath.
"A-a-agreed, my stupid brother," she snapped.
"Excellent. Now I must prepare for my afternoon
meeting. Nabiki is coming over to start merging the
accounts. We must present the proper image."
Kodachi's eyes narrowed. "Don't get too
comfortable with her, Tachi. I will succeed, and it
will be I who'll manage our accounts."
She turned heading angrily for the door. Tatewaki
called to her before she could exit.
"You might want to change into more suitable
attire in your search for a job. If you have any
questions, I'm sure Nabiki can help you with a few
pointers."
Kodachi tensed. Fuming, she refrained from
commenting, storming our the room with Tatewaki's
laughter echoing in her ears . . .
=

* * * * *
=

At a steady pace, Ryoga ran alongside Katsunishiki
following the family of pigs ahead of them. Chi-Pin
led the pack, the piglets keeping step in two columns
behind her. Off to the side ran Akari dressed in a
green shirt, shorts, and running shoes wearing a Drill
Sergeant's hat and dark sunglasses shouting through a
bullhorn to keep them moving.
<Pick'em up and put'em down, I don't want to see
you frown, Hoof, hoof, hoof, hoof!> she barked.
"Damn, Katsuni," said Ryoga to the Sumo-Pig. "I
do believe Akari takes this part just a bit too
serious."
Apparently, Chi-Pin and her children did not mind
Akari's coaching at all. They all smiled and grunted
in unison as they trundled along. Not long after,
Ryoga began to recognize several of the houses around
him, a major feat considering his penchant for getting
lost. They were just a few blocks away, when Ryoga
noticed several groups of people running with all due
haste in the opposite direction.
"Uh oh," he muttered. "Looks like another Tendo
day of mayhem brewing."
A shudder creased his back, the foreboding sense
that something wrong would befall his own family.
Katsunishiki let out a grunt sensing Ryoga's change.
They traded looks.
"Not happy about this either, eh?" he said to the
pig.
Up ahead appeared the Tendo Dojo and standing at
the gates stood Soun, Genma and another person; a
military man possibly, watching something up the
street. That was enough for him. Taking a sharp turn,
both he and Katsunishiki started heading back the way
they came.
<Hold it right there you two!> Akari shouted.
Ryoga and Katsunishiki froze in their tracks. Slowly,
Akari walked over to them.
"Unt vhere do you tink you are goink?" she said
jokingly.
"Uh, home?" replied Ryoga.
"Ryoga, we just got here and you want to leave
already. Why?"
"Akari, have you noticed the crowds of people
running in the other direction as we came here? Or
maybe that large white van parked out front of the
Tendo's home?"
"So?"
"So? Grief, . . . look, sweetheart. Those are
signs of trouble in the works. You know, that strange
phenomena that just happens to develop anytime we get
near this Dojo."
"Don't be silly, Ryoga. Just because a few people
run down a street does not mean something's going to
happen to us!"
A pair of white attack helicopters roared by
overhead.
"Okay, maybe something is happening," Akari
continued. "That still does not mean anything will
happen to us."
"But Akari, it's like quicksand. You get caught
and then it sucks you in bit by bit. The harder the
struggle, the deeper you go. Believe me, I've been
around this place long enough to know!"
"Oh stop it," said Akari. She grabbed Ryoga by
the arm dragging him along. "Such a ridiculous notion.
Quicksand . . . where did you think up that one? Come
along, Katsunishiki!"
Ryoga shook his head. "Okay, but don't say I did
not warn you."
Together they walked towards the Dojo gates.
Genma had just gone inside, Soun still staring at
something up the street. He was just about to go in,
when Ryoga called to him.
"Hello, Mister Tendo!"
Soun turned, apparently surprised to see them
there.
"Ah, Ryoga. A bit early."
"We thought it would be nice to take in lunch with
Ranma and Akane," said Akari. "Are they around?"
"Well they went out to help Kasumi catch Chu-Chu."
Ryoga and Akari paused, their eyes blinking as the
news sank in.
"They went to catch a train?" asked Ryoga.
Soun laughed. "No, no. It is kind of a humorous
story. Come inside and I will tell you everything."
Akari turned to the Sumo pig behind her. "Okay,
Katsunishiki. Take the family twice around the block.
I'll expect you back in twenty minutes."
The large pig grunted, leading his family down the
street.
"They might want to be careful," suggested Soun.
"They'll be alright," she replied.
Soun shrugged, leading them inside.
"I'm telling you Akari, something's not right
here," said Ryoga following him.
"Will you stop worrying. Nothing is going to
happen to us," she replied.
"Famous last words."
Akari punched him in the arm, ending any further
discussion.
=

* * * * *
=

I could kill her now, but then all that would do
is upset Tachi and I certainly don't want to do that.
Kodachi Kuno sat perched on top of a wall beneath a
shade tree watching Nabiki Tendo as she flagged down a
taxi across the street. Thoughts of death and
excruciating pain filled her mind; a morning star
twirling slowly between her fingers.
It would be so easy . . . too easy, stealing away
the pleasure to be had by pulling the rug from under
her, destroying all the plans this conniving witch has
made.
A taxi pulled up, Nabiki climbing into the back.
Kodachi watched it pull away. "Go, you hussy," she
said. "But I, Kodachi Kuno will have the last laugh on
you and my stupid brother."
The last laugh.
That made Kodachi frown, reminding her of the task
she had to complete before this evening. Stuffing the
morning star back into the hidden holder of her sleeve,
Kodachi leaped down to the sidewalk. "Four hundred
thousand Yen," she moaned, shaking her head. "How did
I ever agree to do this?"
At first, Kodachi planned to take the money out of
her personal account, dummy up a few work slips, and
present it to Tatewaki in front of everyone at the
party. Those thoughts were quickly dashed when she
tried to access her supposedly secret account, only to
find it temporarily closed. Obviously, her brothers
doing that meant there would be no way to use any of
the Kuno Industry resources. She was truly on her own,
and time was quickly running out.
"I have no skills, other than gymnastics and
devious underhanded tactics," she said. "All the
openings I have applied for were way over my head, or
would not pay enough in a week to make up what I need."
A strange feeling filled her stomach; her eyes
suddenly growing wet and blurred. Kodachi abruptly
started, wiping her eyes to clear them.
"What is this?" she said staring at the wetness on
her hands. "Tears? Me, Kodachi Kuno, leaking like an
unnerved housewife?" She let out a sad sigh, sagging
back against the wall. "Have I gone this deep into
despair that I must cry?"
"Never!" cried Kodachi standing up. "I will not
give into this primitive emotion. There is no
situation I cannot overcome I, Kodachi Kuno, will
prevail!"
She glanced at her watch. "Hmm, if I can make the
next train, I can get to the red light district, or
maybe tour the naval base in Yokosuka--."
Kodachi slapped herself several times in the face.
"I am not that desperate."
A series of grunts caught her ears, Kodachi tuning
around to spy a family of pigs jogging merrily down the
street towards her. She arched a brow, watching them
closely as they passed. "Hmm . . . pigs. Untended,
unescorted, extremely large and well developed . . .
pigs."
The family rounded the corner, and a plan sprang
into Kodachi's mind, her insidious laugh cutting the
air. "Well, the gods are looking out for me after
all," she said. "Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. I can
see Nabiki's face now. Oh the joy I will have
tonight!"
Kodachi could care less if the pigs belonged to
anyone. Would serve them right for letting stock
livestock run loose by themselves in a dangerous
neighborhood. I will be more than happy to find them
better homes, or markets depending on how one looks at
it.
Breaking into a slow trot, Kodachi laughed loudly
as she jogged around the corner . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Around the table in the Tendo living room,
laughter carried through the room as Soun explained
what Ranma, Akane, and Kasumi were doing. Ryoga lay on
his side, curled up in fits unable to control himself.
Akari swatted him lightly on the head. "Ryoga,
stop it," she said hitting him again. "Our friends are
out chasing after their pet and all you can do is laugh
at their predicament. Shame on you."
He sat up. "And I'm missing it too!" Ryoga
exclaimed, breaking into chuckles once more.
"It all seems very humorous to you, young man,"
said the General. "However, insects like that are very
much a danger to our society."
"I'm not laughing at that sir, don't get me
wrong," replied Ryoga. He cleared his eyes, taking in
a breath before continuing.
"It's more for the fact that we've actually dodged
the Saotome/Tendo curse."
"Curse? What curse are you talking about, Ryoga?"
asked Genma.
"You know. Whenever Ranma or Akane are together,
something always goes wrong."
"But this wrong happened to Kasumi," said Soun.
"They were still in the vicinity, Kasumi just got
caught up in their field of influence."
"Ryoga, be nice," said Akari.
"For once we might come out of this unscathed.
Our timing was perfect!"
"Time," said Akari. She glanced up at the clock
on the wall. "Excuse me," she said getting up hurrying
for the door.
"Where is she going?" asked Soun.
Ryoga looked at his watch. "Oh yes, she's
probably gone to let the pigs in," he answered.
Soun understood, returning his attention to the
General. "Now as I was saying, my daughter is only
watching Chu-Chu for a short while. He's no threat to
anyone I assure you."
"But what if he manages to reproduce, Mister
Saotome," replied the General. "Then we have a much
bigger problem on our hands."
"With what?" asked Ryoga.
The General frowned. "What do you mean with
what?"
"Well if this `Chu-Chu' thing is as large as
Mister Saotome says it is, then I don't think he'll
find any others of the opposite sex to, ah . . . handle
him?"
The General thought, rubbing his chin. "Hmm, a
good point young sir," he said.
"And you would not want to kill something so dear
to an old woman now, would you?" added Genma. "Bad
publicity if I may say so."
The General grimaced at the image in his mind. He
shook his head. "That would be a bad thing."
"Ryoga-sama!" Akari's voice suddenly called from
the front yard. "Ryoga-sama, can you come out here for
a moment." Her tone, something was not right.
A shudder coursed through him, and he stood up
dreading to think of what he would find. At the front
gate, Akari stood looking back and forth along the
street. She was clearly upset, hands pressed to her
lips.
"What is it, honey?" he asked.
She spun around. "They're not here!" she said.
Ryoga frowned. "The family?" he said sticking his
head out to see. Sure enough, not a sign of the pigs
anywhere. "Maybe they're lagging behind. That was a
long--."
The look Akari held told him she was not buying
his explanation one bit.
"You know Katsunishiki is never late about
anything, Ryoga Hibiki," she replied.
"But Akari--,"
"No buts! Something has happened, and we've got
to find them!"
She broke into a long sob; Ryoga pulled her close
trying to settle her. He looked back at Soun, Genma,
and the General, sadness in his eyes.
"I see the `Saotome/Tendo' Curse has not forgotten
you after all, Ryoga," Genma said with a light chuckle.
Ryoga chuckled with him, his laughter slowly
turning into a whimper as reality set in . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Akari sprinted down the sidewalk, tugging Ryoga
along as she searched for signs of her beloved pigs.
Reaching the corner, she stopped to look around.
"Katsunishiki! Piggy, Kids!" she called.
"You know, honey, they could have gotten lost.
It's not hard to do," said Ryoga.
She turned, anger in her eyes. "They are not like
you, Ryoga!" she snapped at him. He reared back,
surprised by her outburst.
"Hey, hey, it was just a suggestion. Don't take
it out on me!" he replied.
She paused, drawing in a breath. "I'm sorry. If
anything's happened to them I don't know what I would
do."
"Calm down, Akari. We'll find them, I promise."
Akari hesitantly nodded her head. Taking her by
the hand, the couple continued searching the streets,
walking around the corner of the block. Halfway down,
Akari abruptly stopped in her tracks. Ryoga watched
her curiously as she began sniffing the air.
"I have a scent," she said.
"A scent?" questioned Ryoga.
Akari continued sniffing the air. "Yes. I
believe it is (sniff)(sniff), Katsunishiki's musk."
"Musk . . . hey, did I marry a bloodhound or
something?"
"When you've been around pigs as long as I have,
you grow accustomed to their smells."
Ryoga did not argue with her, scratching his head
in wonder. Akari finally found a direction and lead
him to the next corner. The scent grew stronger.
"We're close, Ryoga," she said.
Ryoga cupped his hands to his mouth.
"Katsunishiki!" he called out. Akari joined in,
calling for Piggy and the rest of her brood. There was
no response.
"Oh where could they be?" Akari said.
"Hmm, I don't know, but this is starting to feel
like--." Ryoga stopped, his eyes catching something
that looked very familiar to him hanging from the side
of a corner garbage can. "Akari," he said motioning
her to follow him.
He took the top of the can and Akari let out a
loud gasp. There amidst the refuse lay ten blue
leather collars, all cut in half. Ryoga snatched them
up, staring at them in shock.
"Akari . . .."
"No," she said lightly.
"You know what this means."
She gazed up at him, eyes wide in fear. "They've
been, my piggies have been . . . PIGNAPPED!"
She buried her face into his chest, crying loudly.
Ryoga's fist closed tight around the collars as anger
began to fill his mind. Stuffing them into his pocket,
her took Akari by the shoulders.
"Akari, Akari get a hold of yourself," he said.
Akari whimpered for a moment, then managed to settle
down a bit.
"Okay let's think here. First, these pirates
could not have gone very far. Ten pigs is a lot of
meat to be running around with."
"Ryoga!"
"Oops, sorry about that, sweetheart. Anyway, I
figure they'd have to take them somewhere close by."
"S-s-so?"
"All we have to do is follow the scent. That is
if you can still pick it up."
Akari understood. She wiped away her tears and
began to sniff the air once more. It took a few
seconds, but the familiar scents of her pigs finally
came to her. She closed her eyes and began following
the trail.
"They were here," she said walking around in a
wide circle in the street. "All of my piggies, all
here together."
"Does it end there?" asked Ryoga.
"No," she replied, pausing a moment. "The trail
goes off . . . that way."
Akari pointed down the street towards the center
of Nerima.
"Let's not stand here then. It's getting close to
noon and that means lunch, and lunch might include pork-
adobo on the menu."
Akari shot off down the street like a bat from
hell, Ryoga sprinting after her . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Not long after they found themselves close to the
center of town, watching the unusual hustle and bustle
of people hurrying through the streets around them.
They could hear the roar of helicopters again;
wondering what is was they were after. Akari sniffed
the air once more trying to pinpoint the trail.
"Ryoga, they split up!" she said.
"What!"
"The scent breaks off into several directions."
Ryoga could not believe that Akari could make out
so much with all the other fumes and smells around
them.
"That is some nose you have," he said.
Akari's brows furrowed together, Ryoga stepping
back out of harms reach. "Uh, well which scent is the
strongest?" he asked.
Akari's head turned from side to side as she tried
to lock down the strongest smell she could find.
Finally, she found one, staring up the left most
street. She led the way bringing them to the front
entrance of a leather store. They stared at the fine
display of handbags and coats in the window, then
exchanged uncertain looks.
"Uh oh," said Ryoga. They quickly went inside.
Ryoga looked around at all of the items on display
around them, hoping he would not see a familiar pelt of
pigskin. Akari clung tight to one arm her eyes
clenched shut. It was bad enough having to endure
walking through what she considered this shop of
horrors, if they did find any of her pigs remains here
she knew she probably would not be able to handle the
blow at all.
Coming to the counter, they were greeted by a
middle-aged store employee with a cheerful smile.
"Ah, shopping today?" he said.
"Uh, not exactly," replied Ryoga. "We are looking
for some pig--,"
"Pigskin! Yes, we have the finest assortment of
handcrafted pigskin purses and wallets in the town!"
Akari gripped Ryoga's arm tighter. "No, um, we're
not looking exactly for wallets or anything like that,"
continued Ryoga. "We're looking for some pigs."
The man frowned. "Pigs . . . here?"
"Yes, we've seemed to have lost a few and are
trying to locate them."
"Hmm, sounded the man tapping a finger against the
side of his temple. "Well, we don't keep livestock
here, young man."
That sent a wave of relief through the couple.
"So you have not seen any pigs come through her
then?" asked Ryoga.
"Oh, of course I did. We just received a special
order not to long ago."
In a flash, Ryoga had the man up by the collar,
shaking him furiously. "You just said you don't keep
livestock here!"
"W-w-w-w-e-e-e-e d-d-d-d-o-o-o-n-n-n-`t-t-t-t!"
stammered the man.
Ryoga let him go. "Then what do you mean?"
"Of course we don't keep livestock here. We just
take them back into the shop and process the hides.
After they are slaughtered, of course."
"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed Akari. "Ryoga--."
"Where is this shop!"
"This way."
The salesman led them to the back of the store,
down a flight of steps into the basement. It had been
converted into a tannery, several racks of leather and
other natural hides along the far walls. In one corner
sat a large tub, and suspended over that by their heels
hung Nobu and Fujiko squealing their little hearts out
in fear.
"Calm down little ones," said the storeowner
standing before them. He held a skinning knife in one
hand, moments away from using it on the two piglets.
"It will sting for only a moment, then you will feel
nothing." His arm raised up.
Akari's scream pierced the air, startling the two
shopkeepers. Ryoga leaped, making a record kick that
send the owner sailing painfully into the wall. The
knife clattered to the floor, Ryoga kicking it out of
his reach.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" he
raged at him.
"Me! Who the hell are you, and how dare you come
into my shop and attack me like this!" snapped the
owner.
Behind them, Akari quickly lowered the two
piglets, untying their feet. They nuzzled up to her,
ranting and grunting, happy to see her. She hugged
them tight.
"It's alright my babies," she said kissing their
foreheads tenderly. "Akari's here, and I won't let
anything happen to you."
The owner pulled himself up from the floor,
glaring angrily at them.
"Young man, you had better explain yourself before
I send my associate up to call the police."
"Those piglets belong to us," said Ryoga. "They
were part of a family of pigs which have somehow
disappeared."
"A prized family of Sumo-pigs. Where are they?"
added Akari.
"Family of pigs? I do not know what you are
talking about. I was paid 8000 Yen to have these two
skinned and made into a wallet and purse."
"Who paid you to do this?" asked Ryoga.
"A delivery boy arrived with the order and money.
Considering who it was for, I had no reason to--."
"Who ordered this!"
The owner frowned. Reaching into a pocket, he
produced a yellow slip of paper, handing it to Ryoga.
For a moment, Ryoga stared at the signature at the
bottom, then slowly looked up. Akari could see the
flame in his eyes.
"Who is it, Ryoga?" she asked.
Ryoga looked over to her, then back at the shop
owner. "I'll pay you double what you've received so
far for those piglets," he said.
"Double?" questioned the owner.
"Okay, triple then."
That convinced the owner. "It might make my
customer angry, but seeing how your wife is attached to
the piglets . . . I can part with them for triple the
price."
A smirk covered Ryoga's face as he reached into
his money belt. A few minutes and twenty-four thousand
Yen later, Ryoga, Akari, and the two piglets were
running down the street.
"Ryoga, where are we going?" Akari said to him as
they ran.
"To kick a certain Tatewaki Kuno's ass!" he
replied . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Nabiki Tendo sat on a couch sipping a glass of
imported whisky, describing her morning to Tatewaki
seated next to her.
"And really, Tatewaki," she said taking a quick
sip from her glass. "This huge, huge, bug was in my
bed of all things, eating my best satin sheets! Oooh,
I could have died right there."
"We certainly don't want that," replied Tatewaki.
"You are much to valuable to me alive."
Nabiki arched a brow, eyes cutting over to him.
"Really?" she said in a smooth tone.
"Why yes. I could not even begin to recoup the
loss of your expertise if you suddenly left my
services."
A light smile creased Nabiki's face. She turned,
giving him her best seductive pose. "So why did you
call me here?"
"Ah, yes that," said Tatewaki. "Well . . . Nabiki
I have a proposition which you might find very
advantageous."
This is it, thought Nabiki. He's going to propose
to me. Her heart skipped several beats. Oh joys!
Goodbye Kodachi you loathsome witch.
"Nabiki, is there something wrong?" Tatewaki
suddenly asked, noticing the change in her expression.
Settle down, girl, she thought quickly wiping the
broad grin from her face. Don't want to scare him off.
"No, Tatewaki. You were saying?"
"As I was saying, This proposition is very
serious. Now you don't have to answer me right away,
but--."
Before Tatewaki could finish, Nabiki suddenly
pounced, knocking him backwards.
"YES!" she cried happily, smothering him with
kisses. "Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!"
"Nabiki, calm down!" Tatewaki said. "I did not
know you would be so excited about--."
Nabiki placed a finger to his lips. "Hush,
darling. I will take care of all the details."
Tatewaki was stunned. "You, you will? Nabiki,
are you clairvoyant? This is so unusual."
"Of course you realize the first thing we must do
is eject that demented sister of yours."
"I've already done that. She took it rather hard,
which is why I should tell you--."
"Don't bother. I'm sure she can get along on her
own. Oh, I'm so happy!"
Nabiki leaned down, kissing Tatewaki hard. His
eyes widened then he relaxed, pulling her into his
arms. They lay there for a few minutes before parting.
"Wow . . . hmm, I should do things like this more
often," he said.
"Believe me, there will be more opportunities.
Much more, I assure you," replied Nabiki.
So saying, she bent down read to continue when a
sharp crash sounded from outside. They sat up; gazing
towards the door as the sounds of scuffling drew near.
"Master Kuno is not expecting you!"
"Get out of the way, Sasuke. I don't want to have
to hurt you either!"
"Get out, you ruffian! I am sworn to--."
Wham!
Bamm!
Crash!
The door flew open, Sasuke crumpling to the floor.
"M-master Kuno, you have unexpected guest," he
said before slipping off into unconsciousness.
Ryoga stood with clenched fist at the threshold,
Akari and her two piglets just behind. He locked a
furious gaze on them.
Tatewaki stood up. "What is the meaning of this?"
he said.
"You know what the meaning of this is, thief!"
growled Ryoga. "Now where are they?"
"Thief!" shouted Tatewaki. "How dare you speak to
me like that. Get out of my home, and take those
filthy beast with you!"
"It's those filthy beast I've come for, no offense
dear, and you have them!"
"Me? What would I want with such vile animals!"
They're not vile, you, you, Pignapper!" shouted
Akari. Ryoga took several steps towards him.
"Now where are they!" he demanded.
Nabiki interposed herself between the two before
they traded blows.
"Ryoga, wait. Why don't you and Akari tell us
what is going on, okay?"
"He knows what's going on or else he wouldn't have
done this!" snapped Ryoga. He produced the order slip
from his pocket handing it to her.
Nabiki read then re-read the paper. She frowned,
turning to Tatewaki. "You ordered a wallet and a purse
out of pigskin?"
He snatched the paper from her hands.
"What, what is this?" said Tatewaki as he read.
"There is some mistake. I never ordered anything like
this!"
"Then who's signature is that on the bottom?"
Ryoga asked.
Tatewaki held the paper up to the light. "Hmm, a
fine forgery. Very well done, well done indeed." He
handed Ryoga back the paper. "But not my signature."
"So you don't know where my piggies are?" asked
Akari.
"Of course not. I have been here all morning."
Akari started to cry, leaning up against Ryoga.
He placed an arm around her shoulders to comfort her.
"Now why would anyone want to forge your name for
something like this?" he wondered.
"I do not know, but I am not amused that the Kuno
name has been slandered in such a lowly manner.
Especially for such beast as pigs."
"Stop talking down about my pigs!" cried Akari.
"Tatewaki be nice," said Nabiki. "Now I'm sure
this is all some bad joke. If you want, you can search
the grounds, but I will vouch for Kuno. You will find
nothing."
Ryoga looked at her, then at Tatewaki. If it were
not for the fact that Nabiki was Akane's sister, he
would do just as she suggested. However, she certainly
would not stoop so low to help in anything as foul as
this.
"No, Nabiki. I believe you. We'd better go and
try to find the other pigs before they end up as dinner
or something," he said. Akari burst out into more
tears, Nobu, and Fujiko joining her.
"Just a moment," Tatewaki suddenly said stopping
them. He went over to his rack of bokutos, selecting
one. Making a few practice swipes, he tucked it into
the sash around his waist. "We are going with you," he
said.
"We are?" questioned Nabiki.
"We must. I cannot have some scoundrel defile my
family name and get away with it. We shall find these
pigs, and smite down this arrogant fool."
"But what about your proposal? We still have
things to talk about!"
"They can wait till later. Come, Ryoga Hibiki.
Let us go hunt down this thief and clear the Kuno
name!"
So much for a happy day, mused Nabiki angrily
following them out the door . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Returning to the area where Akari said the scent
separated, Ryoga, Tatewaki, and Nabiki watch as she
sniffed the air trying to regain the trails.
Unfortunately, the scent had dissipated so much over
time that it was too weak for her to pick-up. She let
out a moan spinning around.
"I can't find it," Akari said.
"Without a trail we can't find them," replied
Ryoga. He stared at the ground thinking for a moment
then snapped his fingers.
"Nobu, Fujiko!" he called. The two piglets
scampered up to him and he knelt. "I might be asking
much, but find Katsunishiki. Can you do that?"
The two piglets exchanged looks, then ran out to
where Akari stood. They sniffed around the sidewalk,
then Nobu let out a squeal racing off with his sister
close behind.
"They're on it!" cried Ryoga and the foursome
dashed after them.
Nobu and Fujiko hustled along, pausing briefly at
several intersections to reacquire the scent before
moving on. The route they were on took them straight
to Ukyo's restaurant.
"Hold on, gang!" shouted Ryoga.
"Why? Do you think they are in here?" asked
Tatewaki.
"I'm hoping not, but it's worth a look."
He opened the door and looked inside. As always
at this time of the day, the place was filled with
customers. Tsubasa stood taking orders from one of the
tables; Ukyo manning the grill at the counter. Several
Exterminators sat calling out their orders to her while
she cooked feverishly trying to keep up with the
demand.
"Ukyo!"
She looked up. "Hello, Ryoga. I can't talk right
now, maybe later," she said.
"But this is kind of important. Um . . . did you
buy any pigs by small chance today?"
Ukyo slapped a freshly made okonomiyaki down on a
plate, sliding it down the counter to its waiting
owner.
"What kind of a question is that?" she asked
pouring more batter on the grill.
"Our pigs have been taken and we're trying to find
them," he replied.
Tsubasa looked up from his order book. "Your
pigs!" he said excitedly.
"Yes, have you seen them?"
Kurenai looked over at Ukyo. "I told you I've
seen that pig before."
"Where Kurenai, where!" shouted Ryoga.
"There was a large group of men carry this
enormous pig between them down the street."
That could be no one else but Katsunishiki,
thought Ryoga. A mob of men? What kind of men? He
asked Tsubasa.
"Well, they looked like doctors, all dressed in
white--,"
"Doctors? You mean . . . Butchers?"
Kurenai snapped his fingers. "Yeah, that's it.
Butchers, straight from the market. Come to think of
it that's they way they were going when they passed
by."
"Oh, no!" exclaimed Ryoga.
Just then, a loud shriek carried from the street
behind him. He spun around then let out a cry of his
own ducking a large dark object hurdling towards him.
It landed on the countertop, Ukyo drawing back with a
gasp.
A cricket the size of a dog chirped loudly before
scuttling across the counter slurping up the various
meals in his path. Other patrons in the restaurant
made a mad dash in any direction to get as far away
from the thing as possible. Ryoga watched in stunned
shock as it sucked down a warm bowl of soup, turning to
the surprised Exterminators and let out a burp.
"The Target!" cried one of the Exterminators.
The doors at the other end opened, Shampoo walking
cheerfully inside.
"Nihao, AAAYYYYIIIEEE!" she cried. The cricket
leaped, dashing out the door. Shampoo turned ready to
call after it, when the flurry of Exterminators
trampled her underfoot as they set off in pursuit.
In one short minute, Ucchan's had been cleared of
patrons, Ryoga looking to Tsubasa, standing motionless
at the center of the room.
"Uh, thanks, Tsubasa," he said running out.
Outside, people were milling around, clamoring
about the events that just happened inside Ucchan's.
He found Akari fanning Nabiki with a handkerchief,
lying cationic in Tatewaki's arms.
"What's wrong with her?" he asked.
"She got one look at that monster, and went ridged
with fear," Tatewaki answered.
"Well she can't stay that way for long. Tsubasa
told me where Katsunishiki went."
"Oh, where, where!" cried Akari.
He grimaced, not wanting to break the bad news to
her.
"The Butchers have him," he said.
Akari fainted right on the spot . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Once the girls were revived the group raced as
fast as they could to the open-air marketplace. Ryoga
led the way, holding Nobu up over the crowds of people
following the piglets grunts and squeals as he tracked
his father's scent. Soon they found themselves amidst
the meat market section and Ryoga set Nobu down.
Everywhere he looked there were fresh meats hanging
from hooks or in chilled displays waiting for sale.
"Maybe you should wait here, Akari. I mean if
we're to late I don't--."
"No. I-I'm going with you," Akari said with a
shudder. She picked the piglets up for safety,
following Ryoga down the street.
"What does this Katsunishiki look like, Akari?"
asked Tatewaki.
"I Don't think it will matter what he looks like
here," commented Nabiki. "If the butchers have skinned
him, he's going to look just like all the rest of this
meat around us."
Akari let out a moan at the thought, praying that
they would find him before then. Ryoga stopped at one
of the shops.
"Excuse me," he said to a butcher standing at the
cutting table in back. The Butcher slammed his knife
into the chopping block, wiping his hands on his smock
as he approached.
"Yes, what can I do for you?" asked the butcher.
"My colleagues and I are looking for a pig. A
Sumo-pig that might have been mistakenly delivered
here."
"Really?" replied the butcher leaning out to gaze
at the rest of the group. "A Sumo-pig you say. Well
that could be a--."
He voice trailed off as he caught sight of
Tatewaki and Nabiki. Immediately the butcher gapped in
surprise rushing around.
"Lord Kuno, Mistress Nabiki, I had no idea you
were standing there!" he said bowing repeatedly.
"Mistress Nabiki?" said Ryoga and Akari together.
Nabiki just smiled.
"It is okay, my good man," said Tatewaki. "Now
then, can you tell us if you have seen this Sumo-pig in
question?"
The butcher looked at Tatewaki as if the man had
gone crazy. "Why yes, milord. We have receive your
gift and are preparing it for slaughter even as we
speak."
"Your gift?" snarled Akari glaring at Kuno.
"My gift?" echoed Tatewaki. "What, are you saying
that I sold you a pig!"
"And at a very reduced price for which our
community is grateful."
Ryoga began stalking towards Kuno.
"Now hold on, Ryoga. I sold nothing to these
butchers."
"Not directly, milord," continued the butcher. "
Your messenger who delivered the notice collected the
monies for you."
"Messenger?"
"Yes. Oh and it is such a grand pig too. A
perfect feast for our celebration. The Butchers Union
will be well fed tonight. Will you be joining us,
milord?"
Tatewaki bristled with anger, barely able to hold
his fury back. "Take us to the pig," he said in a
strained voice.
The butcher bowed, beckoning them to follow as he
headed down the street. Amazed and curious eyes
followed the group, some people even cheering them.
Tatewaki held his head high, nodding gracefully.
"Ah, it is good to know that the people are aware and
appreciate true greatness is amongst them," he said.
"Don't loose track of the fact that we are here to
save our pigs, Kuno," Ryoga replied.
They were led into a cul-du-sac where several
large open stalls were set up for cooking. In one of
them, close to the back, Katsunishiki sat with his head
and front legs tightly locked into stocks. He grunted
angrily, struggling hard to break free, but every time
he got close to doing that, several of the butchers
around him would apply electric stun probes to his
body. In a net bag, on a post not far away, hung
Ushiya, Yoshio, Seshio, and Tomio. They immediately
spotted Akari and Ryoga, crying out to them.
"Ah, my babies!" cried Akari dashing towards them.
Two large butchers interposed themselves before her.
Katsunishiki growled loudly, renewing his struggles
only to receive several shocks.
"No, No! Ryoga do something!" cried Akari.
He looked over to Tatewaki. "Well?"
Tatewaki was still basking in the attention he was
receiving. Nabiki swatted him on the shoulder breaking
his trance.
"Tatewaki!" she said.
"Oh . . . Oh yes!" he replied. Kuno stepped out
into the middle of the cul-du-sac. "My good people, a
terrible mistake has been made. Some scoundrel
claiming to be my representative erroneously sold this
pig and his young ones to you. Be so kind and release
them."
Tatewaki stood expecting to see his request
immediately carried out. Instead, all of the butchers
and shop owners around them stared back in a stunned
silence. He frowned.
"I must have stuttered or something. Did you not
hear my request?"
"We heard, Lord Kuno, but we are quite at a lost
about it," said one of the butchers.
"What? There should be no questions. A mistake
has been made and I am here to correct it."
"But, milord. We have made plans for the
consumption of this pig. Our, our families are coming
down. We must have this pig. It is the perfect size."
"We paid good money for it!" shouted another
butcher.
An uncomfortable murmur went through the slowly
growing crowd around them. Ryoga and Nabiki sensed
that this situation was staring to get out of hand.
"Um, Tatewaki," called Ryoga, only to be cut off
by a wave of Tatewaki's hand.
"I will deal with this," he said. "I assure you
all I will reimburse your money in triplicate!"
Nabiki let out a strained grunt, clutching her
stomach. "T-T-Triplicate!" she muttered.
That did not appease the butchers whatsoever. "We
must decline your gracious offer, Lord Kuno," said the
butcher that brought them there. "It will be too late
to find another pig capable of supporting tonight's
festivities."
Tatewaki was starting to get angry again.
"Decline? My request was not open for discussion. The
pig is to be released at once!"
Ryoga could see the tempers starting to build in
the faces of the butchers around them. He wisely
pulled Akari back behind him. "Tatewaki, I think you
might--."
"I will not banter with these commoners!" shouted
Kuno.
"Commoners!" came the angry reply form the crowd.
"Oh, that was not a good thing to say, Kuno-baby,"
said Nabiki.
Furious stares locked down on them, knives, saws,
and anything resembling a weapon being taken up in
hand. The butchers slowly began to close up around the
group.
"Where do you think you are!" shouted the lead
butcher at Tatewaki. "This is not feudal Japan. This
is the territory of us hard working folk, not the
plush, soft life you fat cats enjoy, and if you can
remember history plenty of corrupt thieving moguls like
you have been taken down by us `commoners'!"
"How dare you speak to me that way!" replied
Tatewaki, gripping the hilt of his bokuto. The snarls
and cries for death increased.
"Ryoga, this is getting way out of hand," Nabiki
said to him as she eyed the crowd. "You better do
something."
"Me? He's your boyfriend!"
"No I think this job is yours."
Ryoga grit his teeth, letting out an angry growl.
Unfortunately, Nabiki was right and he let out a short
breath. "Kuno, calm yourself," he said walking over to
Tatewaki.
"I will not tolerate this insolence. That pig
will be released, and I will not pay them at all!"
"FEH!" came the reply. "We will slaughter and
cook that pig, fry up those four piglets and, and--,"
The butchers eyes fell upon Nobu and Fujiko. "And
roast those two piglets as well!"
The two piglets squealed, huddling closer to
Akari's legs.
"NO, you can't kill my piggies!" Akari shouted
back.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha! So what if Mistress Nabiki ups
our market dues. We will show them that the Butchers
Union is not one to be trifled with!"
"Hold on everyone!" cried Ryoga. The crowd
paused. He turned around to Tatewaki. "You've got to
apologize, Kuno."
"Me, apologize? Never!" replied Tatewaki.
"You arrogant idiot. We are going to get beat
down by this mob if you don't apologize right now!"
"I would rather commit Seppuku."
"We can assist you with that, Lord Kuno!"
commented a butcher.
Ryoga could see that Tatewaki was not going to
relent, and neither would the butchers consent to
release Katsunishiki and the four piglets in their
possession. This need to be approached form a
different angle before they all ended up on the
chopping block.
"Then if you're not going to apologize, why don't
you try and settle these people down?" continued Ryoga.
A plan suddenly sprang to mind, Ryoga gazing around at
the crowd.
"Yeah, why don't you settle them down," he said
with a grin.
"And how do you propose I settle them?" asked
Tatewaki.
"With a poem."
Nabiki let out a gasp. "No, Ryoga. Not that,"
she said. "I would not wish that upon my worst enemy."
"Trust me, Nabiki. It's the best thing we can
do," replied Ryoga. He looked back up at Tatewaki.
"How about it?"
Kuno smiled, always ready to ham it up before an
audience. "Why of course. An excellent idea, Hibiki."
Ryoga feigned a laugh, backing away from him.
"Heh, heh, cover your ears, Akari."
"Why, Ryoga?" she asked having never been exposed
to Tatewaki's poetry barrage. "I'd like to hear
Tatewaki recite."
"No you don't, sweetheart," he replied.
Nabiki frantically patted around her body,
searching for something. "My earplugs, I forgot my
earplugs! Ryoga, he's got to stop I don't have my
earplugs!"
"It's too late, Nabiki. Just cover your ears!"
Tatewaki cleared his throat, taking a bold pose
with head held high.
"I will start with a simple ode to these brave,
but foolish, butchers," he said.
=

To be in thy presence is truly awe-inspiring
amongst you all. A fact that has brought
about
this sad, but correctable affair.
=

Akari drew in a sharp breath, smirking as the
words hit her ears. "Ouch!" she said placing her hands
over them.
"I warned you!" Ryoga said grimacing in pain.
Around them, blank expressions appeared on the faces of
the butchers, all traces of life disappearing from
their eyes. Tatewaki continued.
=

As always, the Kuno intellect will clear the
air
freeing your minds of this dark task, and
remove
your despair.
=

The clatter of knives hitting the concrete echoed
through the crowd joined quickly by wails of deep
agony.
"AAAYYYYIIIIIEEEE! IT is an attack!" cried a
butcher clutching the sides of his head. "Somebody
stop him!"
A small group started to make their way hesitantly
towards them, only to receive the full burst from
Kuno's next phrase.
=

So you greet me now, as good host should,
to offer thanks for my skillful recital.
Oh nay, but this is just the beginning
for I will entertain you one and all, with
sonnets and lyrics written last winter and
fall.
=

The approaching group crumbled to the ground,
withering in insurmountable pain and suffering.
"AAAAH, he's horrible!" cried Akari dropping to
her knees. Nobu and Fujiko cried along with her,
quivering on their sides.
"Ryoga, Ryoga, I can't take anymore!" Nabiki said.
"Hang in there girls," Ryoga replied. "Just a few
more seconds!"
Ryoga could see that the people around them had
backed away, crawling, running or anything in their
power to escape Kuno's deadly voice. The butchers
keeping Katsunishiki subdued were now crying out to the
sky, desperately clawing at the walls to get away.
Katsunishiki and the four pigs were also wailing in
obvious pain. He waited a few seconds more to ensure
that the butchers were thoroughly dispelled then leaped
landing on Tatewaki's back clasping his hands over
Kuno's mouth.
"Now, Katsunishiki! Break free now!" shouted
Ryoga.
Katsunishiki grunted loudly, snapping the leather
straps holding his hind legs together. The wooden
stock broke with a loud crack and the Sumo-pig burst
out of the pit, striking the post where his children
hung. They squealed as they sailed through the air.
Ryoga caught Tomio in mid air, Akari catching Yoshio.
Seshio and Ushiya landed in Nabiki's surprised arms.
"RUN!" cried Ryoga. Katsunishiki barreled through
the surrounding crowd quickly followed by the others.
The butcher staggered to their feet.
"People. Are we going to stand for this!" cried a
butcher.
"NO!" came the loud reply.
"Then let us get what is rightfully ours. NERIMA
BUTCHERS UNION IS GO!"
Letting out a cry, the butchers set off after
them.
=

* * * * *
=

Shoppers scurried out the path of the rampaging
Sumo-pig running through the narrow streets of the open-
air marketplace, Ryoga and his small band of rescuers
in close trail. They did not dare try to stop knowing
that meant certain death from the mob of butchers
rapidly closing in on them from behind. Knives zinged
past their heads, the butchers not caring who got hurt
in the process. They cried "Thieves," in the air,
gaining the attention of the other shop owners along
the way.
Suddenly a large group formed up before them
brandishing sticks and anything else handy to try to
stop them. Katsunishiki never paused, turning up the
speed and plowed into them like a bowling ball hitting
pins. Other shop owners assaulted them from the sides
and a fight ensued with Ryoga and Tatewaki conducting a
desperate rearguard.
"Get the piglets out of here, Akari!" shouted
Ryoga, ducking a series of kicks directed at him.
"Go, Nabiki!" added Tatewaki, his bokuto downing
several more attackers.
"What about you guys?" shouted Nabiki.
"We'll be right behind you!" replied Ryoga before
a pile of bodies buried him.
Akari set Yoshio down, hopping onto Katsunishiki's
back. "Run, kids!" she cried.
Katsunishiki rumbled forth again, downing an owner
who managed to catch Nobu in his hands. Nabiki, still
holding Seshio and Ushiya in her arms, started to
follow when two more shopkeepers barred her path. She
cried out; Tatewaki hearing her and sprang into action.
"Back you scoundrels!" he shouted clubbing them
both. "Run, Nabiki!"
The way ahead was closed off, Ryoga battling a
group of butchers trying to get past him. She turned
heading down a side alley. Ryoga noticed and frowned.
"Tatewaki, go after Nabiki! I'll get Akari and
meet you both around the corner."
"We will be there!" Kuno ducked a volley of knife
thrown at his head, backing away down the alley.
"Come, you miscreants, attack me if you dare!"
Yeah spur them on, Kuno, thought Ryoga. He
blocked a thrust to his head, dispatching the attacker
and retreated down the street . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Nabiki ran for her life, hugging the two piglets
close dodging the knives and sticks thrown at her.
Fortunately, Tatewaki was there to deflect most of the
projectiles as he covered her escape. Rounding a turn,
Nabiki spotted the main street at the far end.
Suddenly, a familiar voice called her name from a side
street and she stopped, running in place. At the
opposite end stood Akane and Kasumi.
"Oh, hi Akane, Kasumi," she said.
"Nabiki, what on earth are you doing down here?"
asked Kasumi.
Nabiki smiled. "Would you believe conducting a
rescue," she replied.
"What!" they both said.
Nabiki glanced back to see that Tatewaki and the
angry mob were starting to get uncomfortably close.
"Yes. I'd love to stay and chat, but I do believe
I had better be moving along."
She let out a brief yelp ducking as several
cutting knives winged precariously close past her head.
"Keep running, Nabiki!" Tatewaki called to her.
"I'll hold these vermin off!"
"Oops, gott'a run. See'ya!" she said bolting off
down the street. She heard Kasumi call her name but
that was all as she ran out of harms way.
Tatewaki fended off the furious attacks directed
at him, reaching the opening. He spotted Akane and
slowed his retreat.
"Ah, the Fair Akane, and her charming sister," he
said barely loosing a step. "I am truly sorry but I
cannot stay and chat at the present moment." His eyes
cut over to the mob. "Business."
Out the corner of his eyes, he noticed two
shopkeepers trying to sneak past him and go after
Nabiki. Chuckling at their feeble attempt, Tatewaki's
bokuto snapped to either side, stopping them dead in
their tracks.
"Well, I must go, but I will see you tonight.
Take care."
He continued down the alley, finally reaching the
end. Nabiki was running up the street, and Tatewaki
knew she was safely out of harm. Grabbing the edge of
a nearby garbage can, he threw it into the mob of
butchers and shopkeepers.
"I, Tatewaki Kuno, have enjoyed our little
skirmish, but now I must leave you buffoons. Be
thankful `Blue Thunder' is feeling merciful, otherwise
you may not have seen another day in your miserable
lives."
Pulling themselves from the mess, the mob glared
angrily at him. They retrieved what weapons they had
and began to close in once more.
"To show you though that I hold no hard feelings,
I will leave with you a parting poem to remind you that
Tatewaki Kuno can--,"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Kuno started in surprise as the once angry mob
fled for their lives back up the alley. "Hmm," he
sounded rubbing his chin. "Ingrates. They could not
even wait for me to give them my gift. Ah well their
loss."
Turning, Tatewaki started up the street whistling
merrily to himself . . .
=

* * * * *
=

It took several minutes before Ryoga could catch
up with Akari, and by then she and the pigs had left
the shopping district behind, losing the mob pursuing
them among the streets of the residential district.
"Akari, hold up!" called Ryoga as he drew up next
to Katsunishiki. Tapping the Sumo-pig on his flanks,
they slowed down finally coming to a stop in the middle
of the street. Ryoga paused to regain his breath.
Akari hopped down.
"Ryoga, Ryoga, where's Ushiya and Seshio?" she
asked fearfully.
"Nabiki . . . Nabiki has them. She and Tatewaki
went another direction. I told them we'd meet them
around the corner."
"Let's go then before they get captured by those
crazy butchers!"
"No! It is too late for that. You guys ran so
far away, by now Nabiki and Tatewaki are lost, or
worse!"
"So what do we do now?"
Ryoga looked up, noting the street name and
number. Taking a scrap piece of paper from his money
belt, he scrawled it down, tucking it back inside.
"Stay her, honey," he said. "I'm going back for
them."
"But you might get caught too!" replied Akari.
"No I won't. Just stay here. Once I find them,
I'll give the address to Nabiki and she can bring us
back."
Akari knew he was right, hugging him tight.
"Hurry back, dear," she said gazing up at him. "We
still have to find Kam-Kui, Janine, and Piggy."
Ryoga smiled, leaning down to kiss her. "We'll
find them, Akari," he said.
Leaping up to the top of a nearby wall, Ryoga
waved good bye, speeding away.
"Ryoga!" called Akari suddenly.
"What!"
"That way!" she said, pointing towards the
shopping district.
Fuming to himself, Ryoga changed directions.
Akari went over to the sidewalk, leaning back
against the wall. She suddenly found herself crying
uncontrollably, sinking to her knees. Katsunishiki
nudged her lightly, grunting as he tried to sooth her
sorrows. She looked at him, then gave the Sumo-pig a
strong hug around the neck.
"Oh this is all my fault, Katsuni-chan," she
sobbed. "I'm sorry, I should have gone with you. None
of this would have happened at all."
Katsunishiki gently rubbed up against Akari's arm.
She drew back, wiping away the tears.
"I'd better stop," Akari said. "Crying won't help
the situation as Ryoga would put it."
The concerned look in the Sumo-pigs eyes made her
smile. She reached out patting him lightly on the
cheek. "I'm okay. We'll find Piggy, Kam-Kui, and
Janine. Everything will turnout all right."
The piglets suddenly let out several sharp
squeals, prancing about in a mad circle on the sidewalk
behind them. Akari and Katsunishiki both turned
wondering what had them all riled up.
"Kids, kids, what's the matter?" asked Akari.
Nobu scuttled over, ranting and grunting excitedly to
his father. The Sumo-pig grunted back, brows furrowing
close together. Nobu grunted, nodding his snout
excitedly up and down. Katsunishiki looked up the
street, then walked behind Akari.
"Katsuni-chan?" she said. He did not respond,
pushing her gently along with his snout.
"Where are we going, Katsunishiki?"
He grunted, nudging her again. Akari spun around.
"Ryoga wanted us to stay here, Katsuni-chan. What
is so important that we have to leave?"
Katsunishiki grunted looking down at his children.
Immediately Akari understood.
"Janine and Kam-Kui!" she exclaimed. He nodded.
"What are we waiting for then. Let's--." Akari froze,
remembering Ryoga's instructions. She gazed back
towards the shopping district, weighing her options.
The two missing piglets were probably in dire need of
help no doubt, and Akari was certainly not going to
leave them to an uncertain fate. She slammed a fist
down into the palm of her hand. Ryoga will just have
too be mad at me, she decided.
"Let's go, Katsunishiki!" said Akari.
=

* * * * *
=

"I pick the best times to get lost," grumbled
Ryoga to himself as he bounded across the rooftops.
"First my pigs are kidnapped, then I'm being attacked
by butchers, now I've lost everyone. Good grief, will
this curse never let up?"
Ryoga stopped, looking around trying to get his
bearings. He spotted a large group of men running
through the street a few blocks away, apparently
chasing something hell bent on causing it bodily harm.
This is such a strange day, he thought leaping
towards the next roof. So caught up in his
observation, it was too late to duck the sudden
appearance of Ranma in front of him. Their foreheads
collided with a sharp crack, Ryoga grimacing in pain as
he groped for the antenna mounted next to them.
Holding back his cries, Ryoga glared at him for a
moment.
"Not now, Ranma. I'm looking for some pigs!" he
shouted.
"Not now, Ryoga. I'm looking for a cricket!"
snapped Ranma.
They both paused, frowning at each other.
"Huh?" they said together.
Ryoga shook his head, trying to make sense out of
all of this. He rubbed the side of his head, wondering
what other calamity could befall him, then Ranma
shrugged.
"See you tonight?" he said.
"Yeah . . . yeah," Ryoga answered.
Ranma leaped away, leave Ryoga wondering what had
just happen. He thought about Ranma's comment,
remembering the mob of men running through the streets.
"Hmm, I wonder if that's what he's looking for,"
he mused turning around.
Ranma had also stopped, standing on the opposite
roof. It looked like he was about to ask him something
then shook his head moving on.
"Oh well, guess not," said Ryoga dashing off . . .
* * * * *
=

Akari and her pigs found themselves standing at
the base of a high wall that surrounded the grounds of
a very large home. She let the piglets sniff around
allowing them to pinpoint the scent of their brother
and sister finally sniffing at the walls.
"In there?" she asked.
The piglets grunted. A long squeal responded from
beyond the wall, a desperate sound that meant help was
needed right away. Akari gasped.
"Hang on, my babies!" she yelled, frantically
looking around for a way to get in. She went to the
front gate and began ringing the buzzer.
"Open up, open up you pignappers! Give me back my
piggies!" she shouted, but there was no answer.
The occupants must not have been home now, Akari
returning to the spot where her piglets stood. She
called the two piglets' names and the frantic cries
responded again. Akari jumped up trying to reach the
top of the wall, but she was woefully short of her
mark.
"I can't reach it!" she said to Katsunishiki.
Her Sumo-pig grunted loudly, taking a few steps
back then charged the wall. He hit it head on, but all
that did was send him crumpling to the sidewalk in a
dazed stupor. Akari quickly knelt beside him.
"Don't hurt yourself, Katsuni-chan," she said.
"These walls are much to thick for you to breakdown."
She gazed up at the wall, then snapped her
fingers. "Can you stand?" she asked the pig.
Katsunishiki slowly stood up. Akari told him to hold
still as she climbed up on his back. Still not tall
enough to reach the top, she drew in a deep breath then
leaped for the edge. Her fingers caught hold Akari
pulling herself up. She straddled the wall letting out
a relieved sigh, gazing around the grounds.
It was mainly open grass, a few decorated ponds
surrounded by tall shrubs and trees at the very far
end. Akari wondered who or what would need so much
space, but did not stop to ponder the notion. Several
chain-link fences partitioned off part of the yard next
to the house, the gate hanging wide open. Not far from
that stood a large tree, and on the lowest limb hung
Janine and Kam-Kui by a rope tied around their waist.
"Janine, Kam-Kui!" cried Akari leaping to the
ground. The piglets looked over, then began to squeal
frantically at her as if trying to warn Akari away.
"Hold on my little ones. I'll have you down in a
moment."
Janine and Kam-Kui glanced over at the far end of
the yard, worried looks on their faces. They gazed
back down at Akari increasing their cries and
struggles. Akari undid the knot holding the rope
lowering her two piglets to the ground. They struggled
trying to stay aloft, kicking their hooves desperately
in the air.
"What is the matter with you two?" Akari said to
them as she knelt pulling them into her arms. Even
after they were free, Janine and Kam-Kui still tried to
scamper away from her. "Honestly, children!" she
exclaimed holding them tight. "It's as if you wanted
to be hanging up there."
So caught up in her struggle, Akari did not notice
the pair of reddish colored eyes staring at her from
the bushes; a pair of eyes that turned into a pair of
large dogs that stalked up quietly behind her. She
might have missed them, but Janine and Kam-Kui didn't.
Both of them stopped struggling swallowing the lumps of
fear that formed in their throats.
"There, all's better now. Akari's here so nothing
will happen to you."
A low growl sounded, Akari tipping her head to one
side. "Oh and you must be so hungry," she said.
Janine and Kam-Kui let out timid squeals, burying their
heads in her chest. The growl sounded again and this
time Akari knew that it was not from the piglets.
Cold sweat broke out on her forehead; Akari slowly
looking back over her shoulder to find the meanest pair
of Pit Doberman Bulldogs glaring at her, teeth barred
menacingly. A sense of old age washed over Akari,
shuddering at the sight. She trembled turning back
around to look at the piglets.
"It might have been a . . . good idea to stay up
there . . . after all," she said.
Carefully standing up, Akari turned around,
grining at the two dogs.
"Your yard is so beautiful, and I really love the
way it's laid out. Well I have what I've came for.
I'll just be going my--."
The dogs let out a growl, taking several steps
towards her. Akari's cheerful expression melted away
behind her fearful stammers.
"Uh, uh, d-d-does this m-m-mean you want m-m-me t-
t-to s-s-stay longer?"
Both dogs barked angrily and Akari screamed
lighting out across the yard . . .
=

* * * * *
=

"Are you sure he said around the corner?" sighed
Nabiki for the umpteenth time. Tatewaki looked around
the street searching for any sign of Ryoga or Akari and
her pigs.
"Yes, I'm sure Ryoga said meet him here," he
replied.
Nabiki shook her head, glancing down at the two
piglets huddled at her feet. "Ryoga getting lost I can
understand. Akari, not likely. Maybe the butchers
caught them."
"Perish the thought, Nabiki. It would pain me so
to have to fight my way through them again. And after
the gracious gift of poetry I left them. Did you see
how the commoners warmed up to my recital?"
"Oh, don't remind me," replied Nabiki holding her
head. "Hurts just thinking about it."
Suddenly Seshio's head popped up, looking across
the street. He nudged his sister, and together stared
at something moving across the top of the roofs. When
it became clearer, the two piglets started to cry out
happily drawing Nabiki and Tatewaki's attention. They
spotted Ryoga as he leaped along across the street.
"Well it's about time he . . . showed up?" said
Nabiki. Ryoga skipped completely past them without a
pause.
"Damn, he's lost again," commented Tatewaki.
Ushiya moaned sadly, watching Ryoga go. She
walked up to the curb and drew in a deep breath,
squealing as loud as she could. Nabiki, Tatewaki,
Seshio, and the people around her staggered several
glass windows shattering. Ryoga was in mid leap when
he heard the noise. He tried to stop teetering on the
edge of the roof by one foot. It did him no good, and
with arms flailing Ryoga tipped over the edge into the
alley below.
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Come on," she said
leading them across the street. They reached the
alley; Ryoga fortunately landing on a stack of
cardboard boxes.
"Ryoga!" called Nabiki, sifting her way through
until she found him. He lay in a daze, Nabiki grabbing
him by the front of his shirt, slapping him several
times across the face.
"Ryoga, where's Akari?" she asked.
"Ahble ablah blah blah?" came Ryoga's fumbled
response.
Nabiki slapped him again.
"Ryoga, where is Akari?"
This time Ryoga lay still for a moment before
answering.
"Ouch?" he said.
"Worry about your pain later, man," said Tatewaki.
"Where is your wife and her pigs?"
Kuno's question took hold of Ryoga. He reached
into his pocket, drawing out a slip of paper. Nabiki
snatched it from his hand, reading it.
"305 Onnichikaga Street?" She hit Tatewaki in the
arm. "Around the corner? This is the New Residential
District!"
"Well he said wait around the corner!"
"Ooo, come on let's go find Akari and end this
madness!"
Picking Ryoga up between them, the small group
headed back down the alley . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Akari's scream echoed across the yard as she ran
from the Pit Bulls chasing her around. They were
playing with her, taking turns blocking the desperate
woman's path, herding her around in a circle. On the
other side of the wall Katsunishiki raged angrily at
the sounds, digging and beating against the concrete to
no avail.
"Katsunishiki, go get Ryoga!" called Akari. The
Sumo-pig grunted, then stopped in his tracks wondering
which way he should begin to start looking. He decided
against it, continuing his attack on the wall.
Meanwhile, Akari found herself back up beneath the
tree, squaring off with the two dogs. They had finally
decided to end the game, building up a voracious hunger
and drooled at the two piglets in her arms. Licking
their chops, the Pit Bulls stalked towards them,
growling as they came.
"No, no," said Akari hugging her pigs close. They
cried and clenched their eyes shut, waiting for the
inevitable to happen. Akari looked at them with a
determined gaze.
"They won't get you, my darlings. If it means
sacrificing my life, then I will!"
Taking Kam-Kui in her right hand, Akari reared
back. The little piglet had no time to wonder what she
was about to do before she threw him as hard as she
could. It was a pass that would have made Joe Montana
and John Elway both proud of as he sailed through the
air squealing in fright along the way, Janine following
close behind. The two Pit Bulls yelped, following
their intended meals over to the wall. They whined
sadly, crying out at the loss. Akari laughed.
"What now, you evil dogs! My piggies are free,
free from you silly notions of devouring them. HA!"
Both dogs suddenly stopped, looked at each other,
then over their shoulders licking their chops. The
cheer she felt abruptly stopped.
"But we can still be friends!" she said. Akari
backed up against the tree as the dogs approached.
=

* * * * *
=

Katsunishiki watched in horror as his children
sailed overhead down the street. He cried out, dashing
after them, hoping that where ever they landed it would
not be to hard. Up the street, he spotted Ryoga,
Nabiki, and Tatewaki coming around the corner following
Ushiya and Seshio.
"Now what told me your wife would not be where you
told her to be, hmm?" Nabiki said sarcastically.
"Hey, I don't know what made her leave, but I'm
sure she had a good reason," Ryoga replied.
"Oh yeah, right. Are you sure it's got nothing to
do with the name `Hibiki' by small chance?"
"Probably due more to the `Saotome/Tendo' curse
that I always seem to get caught up in."
Tatewaki interrupted them. "Ryoga, is that not
your Sumo-pig coming our way?" he said pointing.
They looked spotting Katsunishiki running towards
them, then heard a low squeal getting louder with each
passing second.
"What is that?" asked Ryoga.
Nabiki looked up. "Uh, incoming!"
Kam-Kui sailed over her head, striking Tatewaki
square between the eyes. He tipped back, Janine
hitting him in the chest completing the trip to the
ground. Ryoga and Nabiki knelt beside him.
"Tatewaki?" said Nabiki, but he lie still in a
daze, stars dancing before his eyes. Katsunishiki and
company joined them.
"Katsuni, where is--," Ryoga started to say when
he heard Akari's desperate cry.
"RYOGA!" she screamed, and he needed no directions
to spring into action.
Nabiki took Kuno in her arms. "Tatewaki, Tatewaki
speak to me!"
He stammered, eyelids fluttering rapidly. Kam-Kui
nuzzled up to his neck, licking his ear to help revive
him. He moaned, then smiled.
"Ah yes. Pig-tailed girl, your kisses are like
delicate flowers in the wind. Kiss me."
Kam-Kui drew back frowning.
Nabiki let Tatewaki go, standing angrily as he hit
the ground. "Wake your stupid self up, Tatewaki Kuno!"
she said fuming silently to herself.
Kuno opened his eyes. "Nabiki, what . . . what
happened?" he said rubbing his head as he sat up.
"Never mind, you two-timer! Get up, we've got to
go help Ryoga."
He stood noticing the dark look on Nabiki's face.
"Something wrong?" he asked. Her eyes cut over to
him.
"Pig-tailed girl. I'll fix that," she said.
Nabiki grabbed one ear, dragging him along ignoring his
cries of pain.
Back in the yard, Akari was only moments away from
becoming lunch for the Pit Bulls. Their hot breath
stung her face, and she closed her eyes waiting for the
pain to begin.
"Akari?"
Akari's eyes snapped open, and she found herself
staring face to face with Ryoga. She blinked, thinking
it was an illusion.
"Akari, are you all right?" he asked her.
"Not a dream!" she cried hugging him.
"Hey, hey, whoa there lady," said Ryoga holding
her in his arms. She drew back.
"But where are the dogs?"
"Dogs? What dogs?"
"There were two brutish monstrosities getting
ready to have me for lunch. You didn't see them?"
Ryoga shook his head.
"Now where could they have gone?" wondered Akari
looking around.
A pair of growls suddenly came from below, Ryoga
and Akari frowning at each other. Looking down they
found both dogs lying prone, Ryoga standing in their
backs.
"Oh, those dogs," said Ryoga.
The dogs rose up snapping at the couple, but Ryoga
was faster. Leaping into the air, he caught hold of a
high branch and pulled them up.
"NNNYYYYAAAAHHHH!" teased Akari sticking her
tongue out at them.
"Yes, make them angrier, dear. All the better for
us," said Ryoga.
"Well we're safe for now, honey," she replied.
"Once the owners get home, we can leave."
A break sounded, Akari and Ryoga looking
hesitantly back to se the limb they were on starting to
part from the trunk. They both cried out as it split,
sagging towards the ground. Ryoga grabbed hold of the
end, catching Akari by her collar. Suddenly one of the
Pits leaped. She cried out as Ryoga pulled her up, the
Pit Bulls jaws snapping close by her feet.
"Ryoga, do something!" shouted Akari.
He did. "Nabiki, Tatewaki, help!"
From the other side of the wall they could hear
their voices in search of Ryoga.
"It was around here," Tatewaki said. "I'm certain
of it."
"Could have been an echo," replied Nabiki.
Katsunishiki's grunt sounded followed by his desperate
scraping on the wall. Ryoga called to them again.
"Hibiki?" answered Kuno.
"Yes, you knuckleheads! Get in here and help us!"
"Knucklehead? My name is Tatewaki Kuno!"
"Oh stop worrying about you name and hold still,"
Nabiki said.
They could hear Tatewaki's grunts. Slowly
Nabiki's head appeared over the edge of the wall.
"Up, up, okay stop," she said.
"Nabiki, get in here and do something before we
become dog food!" shouted Ryoga.
Nabiki waved at him. "Hi, Ryoga," she said. Her
eyes caught sight of the two Pit Bulls, and she
grimaced. "Oops! Down, down, down," she finished.
"Nabiki come back here!"
The Tendo woman disappeared as fast as she came.
"We're not going in there," they heard her say.
"What? But it sounds like Ryoga and Akari need
help," replied Tatewaki.
She let out a laugh. "You have not seen what's on
the other side of this wall yet either."
"Nonsense. There is nothing Tatewaki Kuno cannot
handle. Hold still."
"AHH! What are you doing, Tatewaki? Get off me!"
"You want to be part of my organization, then you
must be ready to shoulder your part of the weight. Now
lift!"
Nabiki strained, then slowly, very slowly, Kuno
appeared over the edge. He reached out taking hold of
the top, and threw a leg over to help himself up.
"You need to workout more, Nabiki," he said.
"I'm not built for this, Mister Kuno!"
Dropping his bokuto over the side, Tatewaki swung
his legs over and gently lowered himself to the ground.
The Pit Bulls stopped to stare at this arrogant fool
invading their home without so much as an ounce of fear
in him. They traipsed up behind him, watching silently
as he recovered his bokuto.
"Now then," said Kuno as he tucked the weapon back
into his sash turning around. "What is it that Blue
Thunder is needed to--."
Tatewaki cringed, drawing back fearfully before
the dogs. Much better they thought letting out a
growl. Kuno's scream carried long across the lawn as
he ran.
"Oh, damn. I guess I can't let him get eaten by
those things," said Ryoga. He dropped down to the
ground, Akari crying fearfully for him to come back up.
Ryoga ignored her.
"Hey you overgrown rats!" he called to the dogs.
They skidded to a stop, turned and charged him. Ryoga
steadied himself preparing to fight.
"Darth, Vader, halt!" a deep voice suddenly
shouted. The two Pit Bulls stopped mere inches from
Ryoga. Standing at the backdoor stood a hulk of a man
glaring at the scene with anger in his eyes. His dark
beard bristled, and he stepped out, baldhead gleaming
in the sun.
"In to your kennel, NOW!" he roared. The Pit
Bulls whined, scurrying away with their tails between
their legs.
Nabiki peeked out from behind the man, waving
cheerfully.
"Hey guys, look who showed up. The owner," she
said.
"Oh do tell," replied Ryoga. Akari let go landing
in his arms.
"Now then, this had better be a good explanation,"
growled the man. He started slightly as Tatewaki
appeared from the bushes. "Never mind. I understand
quite completely now."
"You do?" asked Nabiki.
"Yes. Anything that has to do with a Kuno must
certainly be crooked."
"What did you say!" shouted Tatewaki reaching for
his bokuto.
"You heard right. Selling me a pair of stolen
pigs, only a Kuno would stoop so low."
"I should bash you down here and now, you
misbegotten ingrate! I sold you nothing!"
"You better watch what you say in my house, Kuno.
And I did not say you sold me those pigs, but the other
one. What is her name?"
Cold shock passed through the four, realizing who
he was talking about.
"Kodachi Kuno?" said Ryoga.
"Yes, that is the one. She sold them to me for
two hundred thousand Yen."
"My sister . . . she is trying to raise money. I
never should have forced her into this," said Tatewaki.
"Into what?" asked Ryoga.
Kuno looked at him then shook his head. He
reached into his money belt, pulling out a roll of ten
thousand-Yen bills handing it to the man. Nabiki began
to weep behind him.
"My apologies, good sir. We will leave you now.
There are things to attend to."
An apology from Tatewaki Kuno, that certainly
warranted recording. Unfortunately, there were no tape
recorders around, Ryoga staring incredulously at him.
"We better get going, there's still one more pig
left to find," he said showing himself out.
"Sorry about all the trouble," Akari said hurrying
after him. Tatewaki led a still crying Nabiki along,
and the four rejoined Katsunishiki and his brood out on
the sidewalk.
"Where to now?" asked Akari.
"Back to town," answered Tatewaki.
"Town? We need to be out looking for Kodachi,"
said Ryoga. "She's the only one who knows where Chi-
Pen is at!"
"Yes, I know. And if I read my watch right,
Kodachi should be just about done with lunch and is
making her way back to our grounds. If we hurry, we
can head her off."
Nabiki wiped her eyes dry. "Let's, let's go," she
said amidst her sniffling. "That bitch has a lot to
make up for, a whole two hundred thousand Yen's worth!"
Without any more delay, the group set off towards
town to hunt down Tatewaki's deranged sister . . .
=

* * * * *
=

Kodachi walked down the sidewalk with a bright
smile on her face. She had every right to feel
cheerful, having made more than what was required by
her big brother of her. She skipped along, twirling
around every so often, singing a song of victory.
"Hoh hoh hoh hoh hoh, no more Nabiki, no more
second fiddle to that malicious street tramp! I,
Kodachi Kuno have again prevailed over insurmountable
odds!"
She laughed again, making a grand leap through the
air, coming down to swing around the nearest lamppost.
When she came to a stop, there standing silently before
her stood Tatewaki. A dark look was written on his
face.
"Brother dear!" exclaimed Kodachi with arms wide.
"I'm so glad to see you. I've . . .URK!"
Tatewaki snatched his sister up, dragging her over
to a near by alley where Ryoga and the others waited.
Kodachi was thrust up against the wall.
"Oooh, you evil, evil . . . pignapper you!"
shouted Akari.
"Yeah, what she said!" added Ryoga.
Kodachi glanced around. "What is this? What are
you people doing, is this some kind of mugging? Tachi
explain yourself!"
"It is you who should be explaining things, but we
have no time. Where is the female pig?"
"Huh?" said Kodachi. Her eyes caught sight of
Katsunishiki behind them. "Say, didn't I sell you to
the butchers?"
Katsunishiki lunged towards her, snarling angrily.
"We should let him have you," said Ryoga. "But
that still wouldn't tell us where Chi-Pen is!"
"What, who? Chi-Pen, never heard of the woman.
Is she another suitor after Ranma?" Kodachi replied.
"No, you conniving witch!" shouted Nabiki. "The
pig, the female pig you stole from the Hibiki's!"
"Are you accusing me of being a thief, you
trollop, you, you, you tramp!"
Nabiki grabbed Kodachi by the throat, briefly
throttling her before Tatewaki and Ryoga finally pulled
her off.
"You are a thief!" shouted Akari taking a fist
full of her collar. "Now where is my Piggy? Where is
my Piggy!"
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
"The Sow, stupid sister. The Sow!" shouted
Tatewaki.
"Oh that pig." Kodachi thought a moment. "Ah
yes. I sold her. She was worth a lot, more than
enough to ensure your expulsion from our lives, Nabiki-
-."
"Of course you sold her. What do you think we've
been doing all day? Correcting your stupid mistake!"
shouted Ryoga. "Now who did you sell her too?"
"Hmm, let me think. I do believe I sold her to
that charming little old lady in Chinatown. What was
her name? Oh yes, Cologne."
Ryoga sighed. "Cologne. Well that makes
everything all . . . Cologne!"
Akari was already dashing down the street with
Katsunishiki and the piglets.
Tatewaki scratched his head. "So why the
urgency?" he asked.
"Are you kidding!" replied Ryoga. "Cologne will
have Chi-Pen sliced, diced, and served up on a party
platter before you could blink an eye. Come on!"
He ran after Akari, Tatewaki in tow. Suddenly he
stopped, turning to face his sister again.
"And before I forget, you're still fired," said
Tatewaki, moving on.
Kodachi stood in stunned silence unawares of
Nabiki's presence next to her. "I'm still fired? But
Tachi, I made my quota!" He disappeared around the
corner, and she shrugged. "Well, I guess they don't
need me anymore."
Nabiki smirked. A sharp kick to the rear made
Kodachi yelp before Nabiki put her in a tight headlock.
"Oh no you don't, Kodachi Kuno. You're not out of
this yet!"
"Nabiki, you're ch-ch-choking me!" gasped Kodachi.
"It's much better than what I want to do. Come
on, we still need you!"
Ignoring Kodachi's protest, Nabiki dragged her
along rushing after the others . . .
=

* * * * *
=

The Neko Hanten closed up early that afternoon in
preparation for tonight's party at the Tendo Dojo.
Shampoo unlocked the front door letting herself in
dragging a still dazed and thoroughly trounced Mousse
along by his collar.
"And to think, Shampoo finally give in to Mousse
and silly proposal," she complained loudly while
resetting the lock. "Silly blind-man finally come
across with goods, and it all just one big tease of
Shampoo. Well you not get away with it. Shampoo want
ring with rock just as big as Tsubasa's!"
She set Mousse down in a chair and looked around
for Cologne. "Great-grandmother?" wondered Shampoo.
It was ominously quiet Shampoo thinking that her
grandmother had stepped out of the shop. From open
counter leading into the kitchen, she heard something
that sounded like the cackling of an old hag. Shampoo
went over, slowly peering in.
Near the deep sink to the left of the room Cologne
had set a large tub of water over an open fire,
standing up on the edge of a chair cutting up the
ingredients for a soup tossing them in. On the stove
behind her boiled a large pot of Raman noodles, but
what drew Shampoo's immediate attention was the large
pig suspended over the tub by several lengths of rope,
moaning lightly as she twirled in the air.
"Great-grandmother?" said Shampoo, coming in
through the double doors.
Cologne looked up. "Ah, Shampoo you're back,
good. I can use some help preparing this pig for
slaughter."
The pig squealed, kicking her legs uselessly.
Shampoo stared at the pig for a moment, then arched a
brow.
"Great-grandma, Shampoo know this pig."
"You do?" replied Cologne, looking up to study it
close. "It's not Ryoga again is it. If it is he
certainly needs to go on a diet."
"No, not Ryoga, but is close. That Chi-Pen!"
"Who?"
"Chi-Pen, belong to Hibiki's. Part of prized Sumo-
pig family."
"You don't say?" said Cologne. "Well I won't tell
if you won't."
Shampoo started, staring at her grandmother.
"What you mean? We cannot cook pig. It not belong to
us!"
"Don't be ridiculous, child. I put a good part of
your dowry into this pig. She belongs to us. Now stop
complaining and help me prepare her for skinning!"
Chi-Pen cried out again, staring fearfully down at
the warming water below.
Shampoo frowned and she backed out the doors.
"Mousse, Mousse, Shampoo need you now," she said
shaking the man by his collar.
Mousse's eyes focused, and he blinked glancing up
at the clock. "Hmm, close to two. Still running into
trouble I see," he said.
"This no time to be funny, pseudo-husband,"
snapped Shampoo jerking him out of the chair. "Great-
grandma about to cook pet pig."
"Oh, she's got Ryoga again?"
"No, stupid man . . . uh, not exactly. Come, we
go to kitchen!"
Mousse and Shampoo went in to find Cologne
standing next to the tub testing the temperature of the
water. She cackled evilly, gazing up at the pig.
"About fifteen more minutes, and you'll be ready
for your final bath," she said.
Chi-Pen squealed loudly, hoping the right people
would hear her cries.
Mousse flipped up his glasses, squinting at the
pig, then lower them again. "Hey, Chi-Pen, what are
you doing up there?" he asked.
"She's about to become tonight's portion of
dinner," answered Cologne. "Mousse, good. You can
help me lower this sow into the water."
"Lower her into the water? Cologne, um I think we
might want to call Ryoga and Akari about this."
"You see, great-grandmother. Even Mousse know who
pig belong too!" added Shampoo.
"It does not matter. I bought this pig and I'm
going to cook it up!"
"But think about it, Cologne," said Mousse trying
to reason with her. "Why would the Hibiki's sell you
their prized breeding pig?"
"They did not sell it to me!"
Mousse and Shampoo traded confused looks.
"Then who you buy pig from?" asked Shampoo.
"Kodachi Kuno."
Shampoo clasp her hands to the sides of her head
in shock. "AAAYYYIIEE! You buy pig from Evil Kuno?
Pig must be hot!"
"That settles it, Cologne. Kodachi Kuno selling
anything should automatically raise the trouble flag,"
added Mousse.
"It's not marked, and she gave me a good price for
it. The pig belongs to me now, and I'm going to cook
it!"
Just then, there came a loud crash from the front
door. Shampoo looked out to find Ryoga standing at the
doorway glaring angrily around the room.
"CHI-PEN!" he called out. Akari forced her way
past him moving into the restaurant.
"PIGGY!" she called.
"Akari," Shampoo said waving her over.
Akari ran over, Ryoga leading the rest of the
rescue party behind her. Bursting into the kitchen,
she skidded to a stop, screaming in shock.
"Whoa!" shouted Ryoga.
Before he could move, Cologne picked up a ladle
pointing it threateningly at him.
"Get back, Ryoga!" she shouted. "This pig is
mine!"
Ryoga raised his hands, inching slowly towards
her. "Cologne, there has been a terrible mistake made
here," he said.
"Yes, and you made it, what kicking my front door
in. I should have you arrested!"
"But you can't kill my Piggy," said Akari. "She's
not for eating!"
"You see, great-grandma. Chi-Pen not for sale.
Evil Kuno trick you," added Shampoo.
Nabiki dragged a half-choked Kodachi up front.
"Tell her, you witch. Tell her it was all a mistake!"
she snarled, pulling her head up by the hair.
"It was all a mistake!" growled Kodachi.
"Understand, Cologne. Now let's lower Chi-Pen and-
-."
Cologne swatted Ryoga's hand, driving them all
back. She leaped up onto the counter. "No. I bought
this pig for a lot of money, and I intend to recoup my
investment with interest!"
Tatewaki sighed. "How much do you want?" he asked
feeling the pinch on his finances. Nabiki started
crying again.
"You're too late, Kuno. I've already sold parts
of this pig to other parties."
Kuno frowned. "Okay. Whatever their price I'll .
. . double it."
Nabiki let out a wail, smacking Kodachi with a
fist on top of her head.
Cologne thought about the offer for a second.
"Hmm, tempting, very tempting, but a business deal is a
business deal. I'm sure you understand that."
"Of course I--."
"Kuno!" shouted Ryoga. He glared at him for a
moment, then back at Cologne. "We're not going to let
you cook Chi-Pen, Cologne. She belongs to us!"
"Give the pig up, you withered old monkey!"
snapped Mousse.
"Never!" cried Cologne. "In about ten minutes
this pig will be basting in her own juices. After that
she'll be chopped, ground, curried, and on her way to
delivery around town."
"No!" moaned Akari. "Ryoga do something!"
Katsunishiki grunted angrily, ready to attack.
The eight piglets pressed their little faces through
the legs of the others, gazing up at their mother.
They squealed, Chi-Pen crying back helplessly.
"You would orphan these kids?" asked Ryoga.
"I would cook them too if they were for sale," she
replied.
"Great-grandmother!" Shampoo exclaimed.
"Silence, child! All sales are final. Do you
know what the most profitable portion of this pig is,
hmm?"
Ryoga shook his head, and Cologne laughed hopping
down to stand in front of Akari.
"Bacon," she finished, beetling her brows up at
the woman.
That was all Akari could stand. "B-b-bacon!" she
stammered, fainting into Ryoga's arms. He stared at
his wife, then picked her up.
"Everybody out. Out, out, out!" he ordered the
others. Nobody argued with him, backing quickly
through the doors into the restaurant.
"What's wrong, Ryoga. Why'd we back off from that
old crone?" asked Mousse. Shampoo kicked him in the
rear.
Ryoga did not answer at first, laying Akari on the
floor. He patted her gently on the cheek to revive
her, but she did not respond.
"Out cold," said Nabiki.
Ryoga looked up. "We're going to have to rush
her," he said to them.
"Who, Cologne? How far do you think that charge
will go?" said Mousse.
"There's enough of us here to succeed. That is if
you two are with us?"
Shampoo chewed on her bottom lip nervously, trying
to decide whose side she would align herself. It was
no question for Mousse though.
"I'm with you," he declared. Shampoo frowned,
then hesitantly nodded her head.
"We can't let great-grandma kill your pig. That
not right."
"Okay then. Katsunishiki, Tatewaki, Mousse,
Shampoo, and I will rush Cologne. While she's occupied
with us, Nabiki, you and Kodachi go around and lower
Chi-Pen."
"Oh team me up with her. That's great!" commented
Nabiki.
"Quit your bitching," snapped Ryoga. "Okay,
everyone got the plan.
"Yes, very nice, Ryoga. It might have worked if I
wasn't aware of it," said Cologne.
"Thanks, Cologne. Really isn't to--," Ryoga
gasped, cutting his eyes up to find the elderly woman
perched atop his head.
"Spying on us!" cried Tatewaki. His bokuto
slipped out of his sash, swinging towards her. Cologne
nimbly leaped away, and the training sword clocked
Ryoga neatly on the head knocking him to the floor.
"I was not spying," said Cologne laughing at them.
"I merely came to get my staff. Would not want to face
you all unarmed."
She bounded over to the corner, retrieved her
staff and hopped up to the open counter. "See you
inside," she said leaping into the kitchen.
Ryoga sat up, rubbing his head. He glared angrily
at the kitchen doors then stood up.
"Let's get her," he growled.
The doors to the kitchen burst open, Katsunishiki
leading the charge with a loud roar. Cologne balanced
on the end of her staff calmly watching them.
"Fools!" she muttered. A nimble leap propelled
the old sage through the air towards the Sumo-pig. Her
staff hit right between Katsunishiki's eyes, and he
tensed eyes crossing. Before Ryoga could move out of
the way, the pig collapsed off to the side pinning
Ryoga's legs beneath him. The rest of the group came
to an abrupt stop.
"Don't worry about me, get her!" cried Ryoga.
It was too late, the momentum passing to Cologne.
She stood on the counter next to the boiling pot of
ramen, a set of chopsticks in one hand. Glaring at her
granddaughter and Mousse, Cologne's eyes narrowed.
"So, you've thrown in with the enemy, eh? Well
I'll have to eliminate your part of this equation."
Cologne dipped the chopsticks into the pot,
twirling up a large mass of ramen. A sharp flick sent
it snaking out towards Mousse and Shampoo, wrapping
tightly around their waist.
"Oyiee! Great-grandmother's Special Chow-Mein
Strike! We doomed, MMMRRRPPPPHHH!"
In seconds Mousse and Shampoo were cocooned from
the waist up together in ramen noodles, struggling hard
as they slumped to the floor. Cologne laughed.
"Four down, three to go. It will take you at
least ten minutes to chew your way out of that, and by
then I'll have thirty gallons of pig soup all ready for
delivery!"
Tatewaki's bokuto snapped in his hands as he
brought it up into attack position. "Nabiki, Kodachi,
get the pig. I'll handle the old hag."
"Old Hag?" scowled Cologne, jumping down to the
floor with staff poised before her.
Tatewaki grinned, moving towards her. "You have
made a big mistake trifling with me you wretched
creature," he said. "I, Blue Thunder, will show no
mercy."
"Blue Thunder?" said Cologne thinking a moment.
"Now where have I heard that joke before?"
Yelling angrily, Tatewaki attacked swinging his
bokuto at Cologne. She parried the blow effortlessly,
dropping down to swing at Kuno's feet. He leaped,
laughing as he came down with full force on the staff.
Their battle swayed back and forth around the kitchen,
Cologne managing to deflect every attempt Tatewaki made
to disable her. Retreating over to the side of the
tub, she yawned, dipping a finger into the water. It
was hot, but not hot enough to cook Chi-Pen in.
"A few more minutes then in you go, Piggy dear,"
she said.
Tatewaki growled, stung by the insult delivered to
him. "Ignore me!" he cried stepping up his attack.
Cologne retreated before him, her staff clacking
loud against the bokuto.
"Hmm, nice chop, good forearm swing, excellent
counter thrust, but your guard is weak!"
Her staff flashed, and with a loud snap Kuno's
weapon spun from his hands. Tatewaki watched it imbed
itself into the wall, shock covering his face. He
looked back in time to receive a jab to the chest from
Cologne's staff, hurtling him across the kitchen up
against the wall.
Cologne smacked the side of the counter and one of
the drawers slid open. She smacked the bottom, and a
flurry of cutting knives, forks, and spoons flew
through the air. They pinned Tatewaki's clothes to the
wall, immobilizing him.
He struggled, then realized it was useless. "Ah,
I think I will rest here a moment before continuing our
talk."
"You do that. In the mean . . . NO YOU DON'T,
GIRLS!"
Nabiki and Kodachi were still tugging on the rope
holding Chi-Pen aloft when Cologne's deadly staff
tinged both of them neatly on head. They staggered
crying out in pain as she leaped through the air. A
kick opened the walk-in refrigerator, and Cologne
landed behind Nabiki pushing her inside. Kodachi shook
the stars from her eyes. Seeing the old woman, she
lashed out hitting nothing but empty air. Cologne
retrieved her staff, turned and knocked Kodachi over
towards the refrigerator. Kodachi teetered at the
threshold; Nabiki crawling desperately towards her, but
a gentile tap sent her tumbling inside. The door
clanged shut, Cologne slapping a lock on the handle.
"Ha! That will cool your heels for the moment,"
she said. Kodachi appeared at the tiny window, beating
furiously on the door begging to be let out.
"Not until I'm done cooking this pig, child."
Kodachi began shouting muffled obscenities at
Cologne.
"You lack manners, Kodachi Kuno. Maybe this will
teach you some."
Cologne reached up, turning the thermostat all the
way over to the deep freeze setting. The last thing
she could see was Nabiki grasping Kodachi by the throat
seconds before a veil of frost covered the window.
"Well that was easy," said Cologne dusting her
hands off, gazing around. Ryoga by then had one leg
freed from under the sleeping Katsunishiki, pushing
vigorously against his heavy frame. Shampoo and Mousse
chewed on the thick strands holding them fast, but it
would take a few minutes more before they could free
themselves. Tatewaki hung silently on the wall unable
to do anything but watch.
"Now where was I? Oh yes, time to dip the pig."
"NO!" cried Ryoga increasing his efforts. Cologne
ignored his protest, walking over to the rope. She
looked up at Chi-Pen.
"Are you ready?" she asked. Chi-Pen moaned,
staring down at the boiling water below.
"Oh, don't cry. It will happen so fast you won't
feel a thing."
"Cologne, please don't do it!" cried Ryoga.
Cologne's staffs spun in her hand the end coming
around too slice the rope free. Ryoga let out a yell.
He gathered all his strength and with one push pulled
his other leg free. A desperate leap over the counter
brought him over the tub. He caught the end, Chi-Pen's
squeal echoing in his ears, and pulled as fast as he
could. Ryoga landed, staring eye to eye with the pig.
He let out a deep sigh. "Boy, was that close, eh
pig?"
Chi-Pen stared at him, a sad look in her eyes.
"Don't worry, I'll have you down in--," Ryoga
suddenly sniffed the air. "Hey, what's burning?" he
asked looking around. A glance down found his shoes
smoldering in the fire.
"GGGYYYAAAAHHH!" he cried hopping madly around.
Chi-Pen dipped up and down, squealing as she inched
towards the boiling water. Ryoga jumped up onto the
edge of the tub. That was no help, the heat radiating
up through the soles of his shoes.
Suddenly Cologne started tickling him with the end
of her staff.
"BWAHAHAHA, Cologne what are you doing!"
"I want to see how long you can keep this pig out
of the water," she replied.
"OW, BWAHA, OW, OW, HAHAHA, stop it Cologne,
please stop it!"
Cologne chuckled. "No, this is getting to be
quite fun."
Ryoga glanced around, calling for help form the
others. Shampoo strained against the ramen trying to
snap it; Mousse lying on her chest exhausted from all
his chewing.
"Mousse, help Shampoo break ramen before it too
late!" shouted Shampoo.
"I can't eat anymore, Shampoo," replied Mousse.
"Besides, this is kind'a nice don't you think?"
"Stop it. You horny, that all. Now keep chewing,
we have to help Ryoga!"
There would be no help from them anytime soon,
Ryoga looking back to Tatewaki.
"I'm afraid Blue Thunder is out of commission
right now," said Kuno.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha . . . `Blue Thunder'" exclaimed
Cologne increasing her tickling attack.
Ryoga squirmed and writhed around, barely
maintaining his hold on the rope. It began to slip
from his hands, and he cried out again.
"Akari!"
Out in the restaurant, Chi-Pen's piglets were
trying to revive Akari. They licked around her ears,
nudging her head with their snouts. Suddenly she
moaned.
"Mmm, oh yes, Ryoga-sama. Yes, yes, my earlobes,
then my neck," she said reaching up to pat one of the
piglet's affectionately. Ryoga called to her again,
and she sat up sharply.
"Ryoga?"
"A-kar-ihehehe!"
Akari crawled quickly across the floor into the
kitchen. Climbing up onto Katsunishiki, she stopped to
take in what was going on. Ryoga was clearly loosing
the battle, Chi-Pen a mere foot away from the scalding
water.
"He's extra sensitive underneath his armpits," she
said to Cologne.
"Oh. Thank you dear girl," replied Cologne
stepping up her attack.
"What are you doing, ha, ha, Ow, ha, ha! Whose
side are you on?"
"I like watching you squirm. It's cute and . . .
oh dear."
Akari climbed over Katsunishiki, crawling over on
hands and knees next to Cologne.
Victory was just moment's away, Cologne watching
the rope in Ryoga's hands nearing the end. She felt a
presence to her left, turning to find Akari staring at
her, eyes filled with sorrow.
"What, what do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?"
she said.
The corners of Akari's bottom lip quivered.
"Please, Madame Cologne, please don't kill my Piggy."
The one thing Cologne could not resist was
innocence in any form. It was her one weakness, and a
warm feeling rushed through the old woman's heart. she
quickly turned away in an attempt to ignore her.
"NO! This pig is mine. I will not--,"
"Please!" begged Akari.
Cologne grimaced, shutting her eyes tight trying
to fight back the compassion building inside. Akari
bit her lip, inching up closer.
"I know you're not an evil woman. Deep down you
too know this is not the right thing to do."
"Arrrgh! Akari Hibiki, you fight well!" replied
Cologne.
"Then you'll let Piggy go?"
Cologne peeked over at Akari, quickly shutting her
eyes again. A peek to her right found all eight
piglets staring up at her, sad looks on their faces.
It was more than she could stand.
Dropping her head in defeat, Cologne sighed. "Why
am I doing this?" she muttered. A toss of her staff
sent it ricocheting across the room, first knocking
Tatewaki free from the wall, twirling end over end to
slice the ramen from Mousse and Shampoo, then hit
Katsunishiki on the head waking him before landing back
in her hand.
"Thank you, Cologne!" exclaimed Akari reaching
out to hug the old sage.
"Whoa, whoa, stop with those tears. I give, I
give!" snapped Cologne. "Now go help your man before
he drops you Piggy inadvertently into the water."
Akari went to help Ryoga pull Chi-Pen down. They
lowered her to the floor, Ryoga untying the rope as
Akari hugged her tight. Katsunishiki and the piglets
gathered around Chi-Pen.
"Oh, Piggy," she sobbed. Chi-Pen grunted, never
so happy to see Akari in her life. Ryoga let a wave of
relief flow through him, letting out a deep sigh.
"Thanks, Cologne," he said.
Cologne shook her head walking over to the side of
the counter. "Humph, your not exactly in the clear
yet, Hibiki," she replied. "Who is going to make good
the loss of that pig now, eh?"
"Great-grandma, surely you not want Hibiki's to
pay for own pig?" said Shampoo.
"I surely do! We had a lot of money invested in
her, Shampoo. It will take us months to recoup just a
fraction of the loss."
"They weren't responsible for this!" Mousse said.
Tatewaki walked over and knelt next to Cologne.
He stared at her narrowing an eye.
"You will be properly compensated, Cologne," he
said.
"Hmm?" sounded Cologne.
"Yes. Since my malicious sister was responsible
for your trouble, the Kuno family will repay you. I'll
just have my accountant--."
Tatewaki paused, a blank expression covering his
face. Cologne's brows shot up. "Goodness!" she
exclaimed heading for the refrigerator.
"Careful, careful. We don't want to break them."
"I am being careful! Just watch how you pull
Nabiki around, or you might snap Kodachi's head off her
neck!"
"Would not be too much of a loss."
Slowly, Tatewaki and Ryoga carried Nabiki and
Kodachi out of the refrigerator, frozen stiff. Nabiki
still held Kodachi in a death grip by the throat
fingers pressed deep into her flesh. Quickly, Shampoo
and Mousse scooped two pots full of hot water from the
tub.
"Clear!" shouted Mousse and the other scurried out
of the way. The water splashed on them bursting into
clouds of steam. Kodachi and Nabiki screamed as the
scalding water melted the ice away. They parted,
letting their pains pass before speaking.
Nabiki's chest heaved and she glared angrily at
Shampoo and Mousse. "Do I look like Ranma to you?" she
growled at them.
Kodachi slumped to the floor blinking her eyes.
"I don't feel to good," she said.
"You'll survive," said Tatewaki. "Now then,
Cologne. As I was saying my accountant will reimburse
you for all losses incurred."
"Oh my heart," gasped Nabiki. She clutched her
chest staggering off to one side.
"Money will appease part of my problem, Kuno,"
said Cologne. "There still are the orders I have, plus
whose going to clean up my kitchen, eh?"
Ryoga thought, trying to come up with something.
Suddenly an idea hit him. Calling Tatewaki over, he
whispered something into his ear. Tatewaki smiled,
calling Nabiki over. The conference went on for a few
minutes more before breaking.
"Have no fear, Cologne. I believe a solution is
within reach to all of your problems."
"It is? What do you have in mind, and is it
legal?"
"Of course. Nabiki will handle the orders and as
for cleaning your kitchen, um . . . how do you feel
about taking on some additional help. Free of charge?"
"Free. Like no wages at all?"
"Yes. For a modest time period of course."
Cologne thought about the offer. "Hmm, Mousse and
Shampoo could use some help around here. Who do you
have in mind?"
"Oh, someone who is in need of work experience,"
replied Tatewaki.
All eyes looked to Kodachi seated on the floor.
She stared back, wondering why the sudden attention.
Cologne chuckled, breaking out into a laugh enjoying
the idea. Everyone joined in; Kodachi breaking out in
light chuckles.
"So, what is the joke?" she asked.
"You'll find out here soon enough," answered Ryoga
laughing harder.
She giggled, the humor slowly fading away as
Kodachi realized that something was amiss, and that
something involved her.
As her brother and the others howled with
laughter, Kodachi Kuno broke into a long sob sensing
that her troubles were just beginning . . .
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In Between
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A Bad Case of Butterflies
=

"U-U-U-Uyyy-ookyo, w-w-w-wiiii-lllll, y-y-you, ma-
ma-ma-ma- mmmmmaaa . . . URGH!"
Tsubasa Kurenai held his stomach, doubling over
while fighting to keep what remained of last night's
dinner inside. It was happening again, same as all the
other times he tried to utter the words that would make
Ukyo his.
The pain eased, Tsubasa slowly looking back at his
reflection in the bathroom mirror. Why? he pleaded to
himself. Why can I not tell Ukyo how much I love her
and propose properly? Still Kurenai could not quite
overcome the sudden attack of butterflies in his
stomach every time he tried to ask her to marry him.
It started so abruptly ever since he began working at
Ucchan's, Ukyo Kuonji's restaurant. First, a numbing
sensation in his mouth followed by severe stammering
then the stomach pains. Doctor Tofu said it could be
psychosomatic, which meant to Tsubasa as nothing more
than a bad case of nerves.
He shook his head sadly, leaning closer to the
mirror. "Come on, you idiot. Why when dress like a
girl, can you spit the words out, but when it comes
down to an old fashioned proposal as a man your tongue
turns to mush!"
Tsubasa signed. "Well, at least I've gotten Ukyo
to let me be closer to her now that I've ditched the
cross-dressing stuff."
It was becoming a difficult situation, and Tsubasa
realized that if he wanted Ukyo to marry him, he'd
somehow would have to get over this problem before she
wound up in another mans arms. This would have to wait
for now, Tsubasa noting the time. He had to get going,
it was his turn to open Ucchan's today, and he did not
want Ukyo angry with him for being late.
"I'll get it out somehow," he swore to himself.
"Ukyo Kuonji you will be my bride. M-m-m-ma-a-a-rr-r .
. . URGH!"
Kurenai curled over, dashing for the toilet.
=

* * * * *
=

Everything was close to being ready at Ucchan's
when Ukyo Kuonji finally arrived. She smiled as she
walked in, taking in the light smell of cooking oil
warming on the counter grills. Tsubasa worked in the
back kitchen chopping up an onion for the sauce he
prepared.
"Morning, Kurenai," said Ukyo walking around the
counter. Tsubasa's head snapped over his eyes wide for
a moment.
"Oh, uh, morning, Ukyo," he replied. Ukyo noticed
him stuffing something small into a pocket. She
narrowed an eye, but let it pass for now. Ukyo doffed
her coat, tying her long black hair back with a ribbon.
"Tsubasa, Ranma and Akane are not going to be in
today. I gave them the day off," she told him. "You
don't mind working extra do you?"
"Not really," he replied. "But aren't we both
supposed to at their wedding planning party tonight?
If we keep Ucchan's open, we'll miss it."
"Nah, we're closing a few hours early. That will
give us plenty of time to clean up and get ready."
Closing early? OH no, that would not give me
enough time to propose to Ukyo, thought Kurenai.
"Uh, how early is early, Ukyo?"
"Party's not until six, I figure around three-
thirtyish. Think that's to early?"
He glanced up at the clock. Quarter to eleven,
close to five hours. If he did this right that would
be more than enough time. Tsubasa shook his head and
Ukyo smiled.
"Okay, let's get opened up. Lunch is just around
the corner and I don't want to build a reputation for
not being open on time," said Ukyo.
Tsubasa gave her a strained smile, finishing his
preparations in the kitchen. "Five hours," he muttered
shaking his head sadly . . .
=

* * * * *
=

As usual, business started slow an occasion early
morning customer stopping by for a snack. In the back,
Ukyo took advantage of the pre-lull to work on the
accounts and prepare food orders while Tsubasa watched
things.
He stood behind the counter as an order cooked on
the grill, staring into his reflection on of the oven
windows, trying again to get his words right. It was
no use; every attempt met with the same reaction. All
his grunting and groaning made the some of the
customers' pause to wonder what was wrong with him.
"Damn it. Just say it. A simple proposal, that's
all!" muttered Tsubasa. He tried again.
"UUU-KKK-YYY-OOOO, WWW-www-w-w-iill y-y-y-y-oooo .
. . ARGH!"
Tsubasa slammed a fist against the metal surface.
The smell of burning food caught him, and he spun
around. The order on the grill was finished as food,
now smoldering into charred bits. He looked up at the
stunned man staring at him.
"Uh, practicing for a play," he lied. "Let me fix
you another order."
Ukyo chose that moment to step out of the back.
She stopped in her tracks staring at the grill. "Oh,
Kurenai are you daydreaming again?" she said sounding
annoyed.
"I think he's practicing Devil Worship," commented
the man at the counter.
"Hey, who asked you?" snapped Tsubasa.
Ukyo growled low, taking the spatula from his
hand. "Really, Kurenai. Go wait on the tables."
Tsubasa did as told, and began waiting on tables.
Through the front doors a couple walked in looking
around. They were in their mid thirties, attractive
and well dressed. In the woman's arms huddled a young
child fast asleep sucking on her thumb.
"May I help you?" asked Tsubasa coming over to
greet them.
"Yes," said the husband. "A large table. A very
large table."
"How many in your party?"
"Nine, and a high chair," answered his wife.
Tsubasa quickly accommodated them, pushing several
tables and chairs together in the corner room.
Satisfied, the wife stuck her head out the door.
"Come inside children, and mind yourselves!" she
shouted.
Tsubasa literally jumped back as seven young
children, ranging form the ages of four to eleven, ran
into the restaurant. Their father directed them to
their seats and they immediately began clamoring for
food.
"Mithter, mithter, I want an Ithtalian-stye
opinikythami!"
"Make me some Miso soup!"
"I wan rice cake!"
"Chicken ramen with plenty of vegetables, please."
Tsubasa frantically wrote down the barrage of
orders, nodding at each child hoping he got them right.
Only when their father told them to hush did he stop,
letting out a sigh.
"Sorry about that," he said.
"Children! Where are your manners!" their mother
scolded them. The children looked sadly to the floor,
lips pouting.
"It's okay madam," Tsubasa said. "Now then, what
can I get you all?"
"Okonomiyaki for everyone," said the husband.
That brought about an immediate response from his
children.
"But I wan rice cake!"
"Meth too, daddy!"
"Soup. I would like soup."
"Opinithkiyami wiht loth of cheeths."
"You didnnt ask whay I want!"
A sap of the hand on the table quickly silenced
them.
"Behave children!" shouted their mother. Her loud
words woke the baby in her arms and she began to cry.
"Now see what you have done. I should take you
all home now without lunch! Do you want that?"
"No maam," came the children's timid reply.
"Then behave. Husband, order their food!"
"Uh, yes dear."
Looking back up, the husband stopped to frown at
Tsubasa. Standing with his tray held up before him,
Tsubasa peered fearfully over the edge, waiting for the
shouting to stop. Swallowing, he slowly lowered his
tray, excusing himself.
"That's okay. A normal reaction anywhere we go,"
replied the husband. "Children, go figure."
=

* * * * *
=

Taking a break after serving the family their
meals, Tsubasa took a seat away from everyone, watching
in silent awe. So many children, he thought to himself
shaking his head. Why? Looking over to the counter
grill, Kurenai noticed the way Ukyo would grin lightly
at the family. He wondered if it was just because of
the children or the fact that they were happy
customers. She always said she wanted a large family.
Could Ukyo actually want this many small ones running
around underfoot, whining and screaming them both to an
early grave?
He was not afraid of having children, but the
thought of so many chilled his blood. Second thoughts
about proposing to Ukyo suddenly sprang to mind, and
Tsubasa turned away.
"Excuse me," said a voice beside him. Tsubasa
looked over to find the husband standing next to him.
"Ah, can I get a glass of water?"
"Water? Oh, yes sir right away."
Tsubasa brought him a glass setting it down on the
counter. The husband sat down, eyes cutting over to
his wife. Reaching inside his coat pocket, he pulled
out a small blue-foil packet, tearing it in half. Two
thin white disks plopped into the glass, fizzing as
they sank to the bottom.
"Lifesavers," said the husband watching somberly.
Tsubasa scratched his head. If this life was so
much of a headache, why all the children? Maybe I can
get a better insight as to what I'm trying to get
myself into, he thought.
"Uh, may I ask you a question, sir. If it's not
to much of a bother."
"What's the question?"
Tsubasa leaned on the counter, making sure that
Ukyo was still out of earshot. "You see I want this to
be a secret, but I'm trying to propose to the owner of
this restaurant, and I'm not doing too well."
"And?"
"I was wondering, um . . . how did you do it?"
For a long moment, the husband stared at Tsubasa,
casually stirring the water in his class.
"Are you serious?" he finally asked.
"Yes."
The husband shrugged. "Well first thing I had to
do was get a ring. You do have one?"
Tsubasa nodded. He pulled out a blue box from his
pocket, opening it to reveal a ring. Not just any
normal ring the shape was that of a golden dragon that
looped into several coils forming the base. A series
of small rubies and sapphires adorned the body, and set
in the dragon's open mouth was a large thirty-two-caret
diamond that glittered bright under the lights.
"Holy . . . put that thing away, boy!" said the
husband frantically looking around. "Something like
that is bound to get married men like us in trouble."
Tsubasa closed it up, putting it back in his
pocket. "It's a family heirloom," he said. "Was my
mother's before she handed it down to me. Now I want
it to be Ukyo's."
"With a rock like that, you can't loose," replied
the husband.
"But I can't get the words out!" exclaimed
Tsubasa. He grimaced glancing around. Ukyo leaned
around the corner.
"Something wrong?" she asked.
"Ah, ha, ha, uh, no Ukyo. We were just talking,"
he replied. Ukyo shrugged, returning to her work.
"For a man that can't get any words out, you don't
seem to have any lack of voice," said the husband.
"Sorry." Tsubasa sighed. "I can't say . . . it."
"It? You mean propose. Why, that is the easy
part." He motioned Tsubasa closer. "First you get the
setting right. Something, let's say, romantic.
Dinner, night on the town, you know what I'm saying."
"But I don't have that time," replied Tsubasa.
"I've got to do it today."
"Why the rush?"
Kurenai quickly told him about Ranma and Ukyo's
distant crush.
"So, another suitor. That is cause for alarm."
"I've been chasing her for too long now to have
her try jumping into his arms again. She's like that.
Patient and calculating. No, I've got to do this
before tonight's party."
"I see. Well have you tried writing a note?"
"Yes. My hand gets so tense, I break the pen
before the first sentence is done."
"Telephone?"
"Still choke up,"
"Dictation?"
"Same, same."
The husband paused to think.
"Semaphore?"
"Huh?"
He laughed. "Sorry, that was a joke."
Tsubasa felt his hopes dying away. He sadly
leaned back on the counter wondering what to do now.
"I've got it!" said the husband snapping his
fingers. "Does it matter if the words are yours?"
Tsubasa shook his head.
"Then allow me to write your note for you."
Tsubasa spun around. "You'd do that for me?"
"Give me a piece of paper."
Kurenai quickly found some paper and a pen,
bringing it back to him.
"Hmm, let me see. I know, I'll lay out a simple,
warm marriage proposal. A `No Frills' offer she can't
refuse."
Tsubasa smirked. "Yuck, that sounds to strict.
What are you an insurance salesman? How about a more
romantic approach, something to get her blood racing."
The husband understood and started writing.
Tsubasa was thrilled, rubbing his hands together
expectantly. I should have thought about this a long
time ago, he thought.
"Hey, kid," said the husband stopping for a
moment. "How old are you anyway?"
"Twenty. Why?"
He shook his head. "Ah, such is young love.
Starting early, eh?"
"I really love her," replied Tsubasa.
"Oh, I don't doubt you." The husband paused to
chuckle a bit. "Just wondering if you know what you're
getting yourself into."
A quick glance over at his own family made him
sigh. Tsubasa shuddered.
"Okay, but I'm sure you knew the consequences when
you made the plunge."
The husbands jaw fell open in a humored way.
"Ha!" he said. "I tell you, son. I planned to have a
family, a very small family."
"What happened?"
"What do you think. A few moments of passion
and," he clapped his hands together several times.
"Bam! An army of Belly Monsters and forty more years
of suffering."
One of the children let out a cry, Tsubasa and the
husband turning to see two of the children tussling
around on the floor. A quick blow from a shoe
separated them, both children looking back at their
mother. No words were needed, the withering glare
ushering them back to their chairs.
Exchanging looks, the two men turned back around.
"Oh, for another chance?" said the husband.
"You regret ever getting married?" asked Tsubasa.
The husband finished writing Tsubasa's proposal.
"No, I suppose not. Sometimes, just on rare occasions,
I wish I was single." He looked over at his family
again, smiling. "But all in all I guess it's worth
it."
"Husband!" shouted his wife, startling him.
"Uh, yes dear?"
"We're done. Pay the bill and let's get these
kids home."
Tsubasa pulled out the bill, marking down the
price, then handed it to him.
"Now be sure you don't lose this," said the
husband, pushing the money and the proposal across the
counter. "And be very sure you want to marry her."
Tsubasa picked up the paper, his hands trembling
lightly. Before anything could happen, he stuffed it
into his pocket with the ring.
"Oh I am sure."
"Good luck."
His wife called to him again, and he got up from
the chair. "Oh, before I forget," said the husband.
He downed the glass of water. "Wouldn't make it around
the corner with out that."
As he rushed out the restaurant, Tsubasa pondered
his next course of action. The right time, he thought.
Yes, I'll ask her during her break. Let's see if Ranma
can top this proposal.
Kurenai laughed maniacally, feeling a sense of
victory in the air as Ukyo and the other customers
looked on in wonder.
=

* * * * *
=

Business started picking up as the hour grew
closer to noon. Tsubasa worked the tables, keeping a
wary eye on the time waiting for his chance to propose.
Taking another order to the counter, Ukyo snatched it
from him, briefly reading it then began putting
together the food.
"Oh boy," she said to him. "I do think that was a
mistake letting Ranma and Akane off today."
"You could always call them. I'm sure they would
not mind coming down if we're swamped," he replied.
"No. I don't want to upset Ranma-honey in anyway.
I want him to have a clear head when I come calling
this evening."
Ah, so Ukyo was planning something, thought
Tsubasa. He pretended not to care, looking out the
front windows.
"Sure are a lot of people out and about," Tsubasa
noticed.
Ukyo gazed out at the crowds of people, some
running, some hurrying along to business elsewhere. An
army of butchers trundled by. Between them they
carried an enormous pig, heading towards the open
market.
"Doesn't that pig look familiar?" asked Tsubasa.
Ukyo stared at it while trying to make a match.
"I can't recall right at this moment," she replied as
they disappeared from view.
"Must be a coincidence. Hey, Ukyo do you want to
take a break?"
"A break?" Ukyo scoffed at the notion. "We've
got loads of customers about to come in here, and you
want me to take a break?" She gave him a suspicious
gaze, head turning to one side. "Are you up to
something?"
Tsubasa shrugged. "Yeah . . . well there is
something I've been trying to ask you all week, but--."
A call to Ukyo from the front entrance stopped
Kurenai. In swarmed a dozen Exterminators waving hi to
her as they took up seats at the counter.
"Yo, Ukyo!" one called out. "We've got big
appetites, and short time so we need some of your lunch
specials as quick as you can make them."
"Right away, fella's," she replied cheerfully.
"You see, Tsubasa. I can't take a break now."
"Obviously," muttered Kurenai. Ukyo frowned,
swatting him lightly on the head.
"Stop being such a grump and go see to our
customers, okay?"
Growling under his breath, Tsubasa resumed work
heading off to the dining room. Ukyo watched him,
smiling lightly as she shook her head. "Tsubasa," she
muttered.
Several minutes later, Ukyo had all the orders
cooked up on the grill, passing them out to the
exterminators watching hungrily. She flipped the
okonomiyaki into the air, grabbing several plates and
skillfully caught each one as it came down, placing it
before its owner. They all cheered, clapping loudly as
she bowed.
"Thank you, thank you. Entertainment tips will be
graciously appreciated."
As the patrons laughed, Tsubasa stopped to watch
Ukyo while she cooked, letting out a deep sigh. She
was such a beauty, even in her work cloths, he thought.
Ukyo, how I long to make you mine. If only I could
find the nerve to approach you, propose and drive
Saotome from your heart and mind forever, then we could
wed and my life will be complete.
Fantasies passed in Kurenai's mind, images of he
and Ukyo running down the steps of a church hand in
hand, laughing cheerfully between them as they raced
off into the sunset. A water chestnut hit him on the
forehead, drawing Tsubasa back to reality.
"Hey, Tsubasa we have customers waiting to be
seated!" shouted Ukyo. Tsubasa grimaced ushering the
guest to a table. Taking their order, he brought it to
Ukyo. She took it, then grabbed his shirt.
"Kurenai, you've been acting strange these last
few days," she said in a low voice. "Are you sick or
something?"
"No, I mean yeah kind of. Ukyo, I, I, I want t-t-
t-ooo a-a-ask y-y-yyou . . ."
It hit Kurenai hard this time, the pain in his
stomach, numbing sensation in the mouth. He shook
backing away from Ukyo before something exceptionally
bad happened.
"Tsubasa?" said Ukyo, but he turned leaning
against the counter.
"I'm, I'm okay. Just tired that's all."
"You want to go home? I think I can--."
"No, no!" Tsubasa quickly said. "I'm alright
now."
"Are you sure?" she asked looking skeptically at
him. He nodded. "Okay. You better get back to the
dining room, people are waiting."
Tsubasa staggered off, thankful he kept his meal
down. Ukyo watched him feeling suddenly concerned
about the man. She made a mental note to talk with him
later returning to the customers at the counter.
"You boys ready for seconds?" she asked. A fresh
round of orders quickly bombarded her, Ukyo cooking as
fast as she could. The door to the restaurant opened,
Ryoga Hibiki stepping inside. He looked slightly
agitated, glancing around the room.
"Ukyo!" he called out.
Ukyo looked up. "Hello, Ryoga. I can't talk
right now maybe later."
Ryoga's distressed expression drew deeper on his
face. "But this is kind of important. Um . . . did
you buy any pigs by small chance today?"
Grabbing a plate, Ukyo gave it a brief twirl
scooping up another order of okonomiyaki from the
grill. A light toss flopped it down on the plate, and
Ukyo slid it across the counter to her customer eagerly
awaiting the dish.
"What kind of a question is that?" she asked
pouring more batter on the grill.
"Our pigs have been taken and we're trying to find
them!"
Out in the dining room Tsubasa waited on the
tables, keeping a wary ear on the conversation. At the
mention of the pigs, he suddenly froze thinking back.
Pigs? Tsubasa looked up from his order book, turning
to them.
"Your pigs!" he exclaimed.
Ryoga's eyes went wide. "Yes, have you seen
them?"
"I told you I've seen that pig before," Tsubasa
said to Ukyo.
"Where, Kurenai, where!" shouted Ryoga.
Tsubasa thought a moment. "There was a large
group of men carrying this enormous pig between them
down the street."
"A mob of men . . . what kind of men?"
"Well they looked like doctors, all dressed in
white--,"
"Doctors? You mean . . . Butchers?"
Kureni snapped his fingers. "Yeah, that's what I
mean. Butchers straight from the market. Come to
think of it, that's the way they were going when they
passed."
Ryoga held his head, mouth gapping open in shock.
"Oh, no!" he exclaimed.
A piercing shriek from outside brought Ryoga
around. He cried out ducking to one side as a large
dark object sprang over his head landing on the end of
the counter. It was a cricket, the largest Ukyo or
anyone in the restaurant had ever seen in their lives.
She drew back drawing in a large gasp as it chirped
loudly.
Before any of the surprised Exterminator at the
counter could react, the cricket charged across the
counter, scarfing up okonomiyaki and anything else in
his path. It reached the end, and that's when the rest
of the patrons got a good look at it. More screams
followed as people broke for the nearest exits.
Tsubasa looked around amidst the crash and flurry of
debris, helpless to stop what was going on. He turned
an angry gaze upon the cricket, but it paid him no
mind. Slurping down a warm bowl of soup, it turned
back to the Exterminators and let out a burp.
"The Target!" cried one of the Exterminators.
Spray wands came up, then the side door opened, Shampoo
walking inside.
"Nihao, AAAYYYYIIIEEE!" she cried out.
The cricket took the opportunity to escape leaping
over her shoulder. Shampoo turned ready to call after
it, when a flurry of Exterminators trampled her
underfoot as they set off in pursuit.
Mousse, standing off to the side, said nothing for
a moment looking at Shampoo's inert form lying face
down on the sidewalk. He knelt and was about ready to
remind her of his prediction, when a hand came pointing
a finger at him.
"Not word," Shampoo's muffled voice said. "Not
one word or Shampoo kill you."
Inside, Ukyo's once filled restaurant was a
shambles; Tsubasa gazing at the mess around him. Ukyo
still could not believe what had just happened, eyes
cutting over to Ryoga. He shrugged.
"Uh, thanks, Tsubasa," he said running outside.
Ukyo came out of her stupor.
"What was that?" she said in disbelief. Tsubasa
could not answer her.
So much for a normal afternoon, he thought heading
for the back room to get a broom . . .
=

* * * * *
=

"Now hold still, Shampoo. This is going to
sting," Ukyo said dipping a cotton ball into some
alcohol. Shampoo let out a short squeak as wiped the
scrape on her chin. She grimaced, gritting her teeth
as Ukyo cleaned up the rest of the cuts on her face.
"Hold it," Shampoo finally said grimacing as she
drew back.
Ukyo placed the cotton ball down, taking the seat
next to her at the counter. Outside there were still
people waiting, looking for some signal from her that
it was okay to come in. Not anytime soon from the
looks of things. Tsubasa was still sweeping up the
dinning room, and it would be another fifteen to twenty
minutes before he would have the mess sufficiently
cleaned before reopening.
Her eyes fell on Kurenai again. So patient, Ukyo
thought fondly of him. I only wish I knew what was
bothering him theses last few days. Tsubasa's
persistence honestly intrigued Ukyo. She was very
surprised when he finally ditched the cross-dressing
routine, showing up at the restaurant applying for a
job. Ever since then she found herself think about him
more and more. That conflicted with her feelings about
Ranma, but somehow Ukyo did not feel a desire or want
to pursue the matter.
"Look bad your place," Shampoo said breaking her
thoughts.
"Not as bad as those scrapes and bruises on your
face," replied Ukyo. She picked up another cotton swab
and continued to work on Shampoo.
"So what brought you by anyway, Shampoo? I
thought Cologne would skin you alive if she ever found
out you went into a rival restaurant?"
"Shampoo and Mousse have need of your telephone.
We lose deliveries in street fight and try to head off
executions by telling great-grandma at long distance."
"Hmm, not a bad idea. Although I'd bet there
would be no place you two could hide in Nerima if she
decided to come after you."
"Great-grandma not kill Shampoo, just Mousse. She
want me still to marry Ranma."
Ukyo paused at the mention of Ranma again. A brow
arched, but the usual jealousy she normally felt did
not appear. Her eyes cut to Tsubasa briefly, then she
resumed working on Shampoo.
"Street fight, huh? Guess that explains the chop
job on your ponytails. Casualties?"
"Just bike. Hair get eaten by bug and--."
The front doors suddenly opened, Ukyo looking back
ready to throw the intruder out when she recognized
Ranma Saotome's face as he peeked inside.
"Hello, all," he said to them.
"Oh, Ranma Honey," Ukyo replied.
A familiar fist clocked Ranma neatly on the top of
his head, forcing him down to the ground. Akane Tendo
opened the door, her sister Kasumi right behind them.
"Watch that `Ranma Honey' stuff Ukyo," she said.
"No harm intended, Akane," Ukyo said with a sly
smile. "I thought you two were taking the day off?"
Ranma stood up, rubbing his head as he glared at
Akane. "We are. Unfortunately we're helping Kasumi
chase down a pet cricket."
The mere mention of a cricket brought steam from
Ukyo's ears. Tsubasa stopped from cleaning, locking an
angry gaze on them. It grew ominously quiet.
Narrowing an eye, Ukyo glowered at the trio. "You
mean that beast that just ran across my countertop
scaring away my customers belongs to you?" she scowled.
Ranma tugged nervously at his collar. "I take it
you've seen him," he replied.
"Yeah, we've seen him," snapped Tsubasa. Helped
himself to a free meal, then skipped out without
paying!"
Behind Ranma, Kasumi let out a frustrated sigh as
she shook her head.
"Kurenai, I hardly think Chu-Chu is about to pay
for much of anything," Akane said.
Ukyo made a quick total of the damages left in the
cricket's wake. "Well the six o'clock express owes me
fifteen hundred yen. Who's going to pay for that?"
"We'll make good on it," answered Ranma, receiving
a sharp pinch from Akane. They briefly exchanged angry
looks before Ranma continued. "Which way did he go?"
Ukyo jerked a thumb to the side doors. "That way
towards the Market Place with a crazy mob of
exterminators hot on his heels too."
"Goodness!" exclaimed Kasumi rushing out the
doors.
"Thanks Ukyo. Kasumi wait up!" cried Akane
running after her.
Ranma headed for the doors, stopping briefly at
the threshold. "See you all tonight. Later!" he said
and ran out.
Trading confused looks with Kurenai, Ukyo wondered
what was going on with Ranma now. She started to ask
Shampoo, but the Amazon raised a hand.
"Best not to ask," she said.
Thinking it better not to get involved, Ukyo
wisely took her advice.
=

* * * * *
=

Kurenai finished resetting the dining room ready
to start serving customers once more. Taking a glance
out the windows, he could see most of the crowd moved
on as the lunch hour passed. That was too bad in a
way. The afternoon business they were doing would have
made up for the early closing later. Now it looked
like a few extra days working late would be needed in
the week to keep profits up.
Taking the pile of linen back to the back, Tsubasa
could see than Ukyo was just about done with Shampoo.
Another opportunity would slip by then, Ukyo no doubt
diving back into work. He sighed realizing that it did
not matter anyway. As long as this problem of his
persisted, there was no way he'd ever get the chance to
propose to her. Even the mere thought of slipping her
the letter tucked securely in his pocket made him
queasy. The day would pass, Ukyo making her pitch for
Ranma tonight, and all the ground he had gained with
her the last few months would disappear like dust in
the wind.
There has to be a way!
Kurenai clenched his fist, fighting back his anger
at himself. Returning to the front, he was just about
to go around and see if Ukyo was ready to start again,
when he paused gazing at Mousse. All this time the man
sat watching events unfold around Ucchan's from his
spot in the corner, a strange smile on his face. Hmm,
thought Tsubasa. Mousse has been after Shampoo just as
long if not longer than I have. Maybe I could get him
to help me. It was worth a try.
"Mousse," he called walking over to him. "Hey,
can I ask you something?"
Mousse took another sip from his tea. "What's
up?" he asked. Tsubasa sat down.
"Look, I'm really in a bind. I'm trying to
propose to Ukyo before she goes running after Ranma,
but I can't seem to get the words out of my mouth."
Setting the glass of tea aside, Mousse paused to
stare at him. He lifted his glasses making sure it was
Tsubasa speaking, then sat back.
"Are you kidding me?" he asked.
"No I'm not! Look, I've got this speaking problem
that just won't go away!"
"Well have you tried writing her?"
Kurenai started to answer then stopped, smirking
at him. "Oh no, not again," he said.
"Huh?"
"Never mind. I've got this." Tsubasa pulled the
proposal out of his pocket handing it to him. Mousse
read it, letting out several hums and ahs as he read
it.
"Hey not bad, Kurenai. Want to write me something
like that sometime?"
Kurenai snatched the proposal back from Mousse.
"I did not write this! Besides, you don't seem to have
any problems telling Shampoo how you feel."
"Yeah that's true, for whatever good it does.
What do you want from me?"
"Some help."
"Oh, I see now," replied Mousse nodding his head
thoughtfully. "You want me to propose to Ukyo for
you."
Tsubasa clutched Mousse by his collar, shaking him
furiously. "Don't you even get near her you greedy
rat!" he snarled.
"Whoa, calm down, Tsubasa. Calm down!"
Kurenai released him, sitting back in his chair.
He took in a few breaths apologizing.
"Man, you must surely love her," said Mousse.
"You could have killed me."
"You'd do the same if it were Ranma proposing to
Shampoo."
Mousse's fist balled at the notion. "Touch=82," he
replied.
"So are you going to help me?"
"I suppose I can help a kindred soul. I don't see
how?"
"Tell me how you do it. Tell me what it takes to
gather up the courage to say . . . ah, ah, ah--."
Tsubasa slumped forward, holding his head as the
nausea briefly returned. Mousse frowned, offering him
his tea. He waved it off, sitting back with a sigh.
"See what I mean?" said Tsubasa.
"Boy that's bad, Kurenai. At this rate you'll
never get Ukyo to marry you."
"Tell me something I don't know!"
Mousse reared back. "Okay, okay, don't get your
feathers ruffled." He thought a moment. "Weren't you
doing this when you were impersonating a woman?"
"Yeah. I don't know why, but I could tell her how
much I loved her without pause."
"So why did you stop. Being a girl I mean."
"Ukyo didn't like it. Now since she's doffed her
disguise, I guess it would look odd for a girl to be
proposing to a girl."
"I dunno, Tsubasa. With these modern times I've--
."
Tsubasa slammed a palm down on the tabletop
stopping him. "Let's not go there," he said giving
Mousse a narrow stare.
"Okay," replied Mousse. "I trust you have a
ring?"
Kurenai pulled his ring from his pocket, showing
it to him. A long look crossed Mousse's face, jaw
dropping to the floor. He shook his head, flicking his
glasses up and down a few times to make sure he was not
hallucinating.
"Tsubasa . . . you don't need to propose. Just
show Ukyo that, and she'll jump right into your arms."
"You think so?"
"Nah, just kidding, but that will surely help."
"Mousse!"
Mousse laughed. "Okay, okay. I think I realize
now why you have this problem."
"You do?"
"When you were the female Tsubasa, it was alright
for a girl to ask a guy to marry him without undue
embarrassment,"
"So?"
"Now you're a guy again, so naturally you have to
relearn something's like wearing pants, a tie--,"
"Get to the point!"
"You fear Ukyo will turn you down. Not so much a
thing for a woman, a serious blow to a man."
Tsubasa gaped incredulously at Mousse. "What?
That's the hokeyist theory I've ever heard!"
Mousse leaned towards him. "Oh really? What
would you do if Ukyo told you no, hmm?"
Tsubasa had no answer for him. What would I do?
he thought turning away. Mousse might be right. Life
would mean nothing if Ukyo told me no. I'd be
devastated!
Mousse could see he'd struck a nerve. "Lost, eh?"
he asked.
Tsubasa turned back around. "What do I do,
Mousse!" he exclaimed.
"Practice."
"Huh? Practice! What do you think I've been
doing the past few weeks? I can't--."
"You can if you study different techniques. Take
me for instance. Shampoo has never turned me down."
"That's because Shampoo's never given you the
chance to ask her to marry you."
"But when I do, she's going to have no other
choice but to say yes. You see, I've been practicing
too."
"You have?"
Mousse nodded. He looked over to Shampoo and
Ukyo. They were just about done and he stood up.
Tsubasa followed him over to the side counter out of
their sight. Telling Tsubasa to go around the other
side, he asked to borrow his wedding ring.
"What are you going to do?" asked Kurenai handing
it to him.
"Allow me to demonstrate," replied Mousse. "If
you got something to write on, take good notes."
The call of Mousse's name drew their attention,
Shampoo walking around the corner. Mousse beetled his
brows at Tsubasa going to meet her.
"Mousse, we ready to . . . Yeeek!"
Mousse grabbed Shampoo, dipping her in a loving
embrace. For a moment they stared into each other's
eyes, then Mousse let out a low sound stroking her
hair.
"Mmahh . . . Shan-Puu," he said in his best fake
French accent. "You are looking more ravishing in your
bruises and bandages,"
"Huh?" said Shampoo. She smirked at him.
"Mousse, you have deathwish on mind?"
Mousse smiled caressing the side of her uninjured
cheek. "No, my love. If there is a wish, it is to
bask in the sunlight of your aura,"
"Mousse, you suddenly loose marbles?" Shampoo
replied, but Tsubasa could see a red flush rise in her
cheeks.
Mousse poured it on thick. "Sham-poo, I adore the
way you talk, your eyes like dark pools of water. The
very essence of your soul is a tribute to your beauty.
There is not a moment in life that I do not think about
you."
Shampoo literally melted in his arms. "Mousse?"
she gasped, unable to believe this could be the same
silly man she'd been treating so badly over the years.
A warm sensation flowed through her body, light
trembles running up her spine.
Mousse ran a hand back through her hair again.
"Ah, Mon Sherrie, let me look at you, let me feast upon
your delicate features like a true lover should." He
reached down, taking one of Shampoo's hands in his,
bringing it up planting a light kiss.
"M-M-Mousse?" stammered Shampoo.
He placed a finger to her lips. "Hush, my
darling. Let us not break this moment with words just
as yet."
In one quick move, Mousse held up the jewel box,
popping it open. Shampoo's eyes grew wide at the sight
of the ring inside.
"I see you like what I have, no?" asked Mousse
waving it around her face. Suddenly he flicked his
glasses up, looking to Tsubasa.
"Are you getting all this, Kurenai?"
"Uh, Mon Cherry, your eyes are like black holes .
. . uh, keep going I'll get what I can," answered
Tsubasa jotting notes on the back of his order pad.
Mousse rolled his eyes, gazing back down at
Shampoo. "Shampoo, now I must ask you. Do you lahve
me as much as I lahve you?"
Shampoo was speechless, staring up at him in
disbelief. Was Mousse actually proposing to her, she
thought to herself? What should she say? Ranma is
intended husband, he only man to beat Shampoo. Here I
am though, in blind-mans arms holding wedding ring with
rock size of Hong Kong. Ranma not get me ring.
"I can see you are without words," continued
Mousse. "We do not need them."
Mousse pulled Shampoo up, kissing her the way he
wanted to kiss her so many times before. It felt good
to Shampoo, the thrill overpowering every nerve in her
body. Her left leg slowly curled up, arms wrapping
around Mousse pulling him close. After a few minutes,
they parted staring deep into each other's eyes.
"Marry me, Shampoo and I will show you what true
lahve really means."
The room grew suddenly hot, Shampoo's breath
rapid. She surrendered to Mousse's will, nodding her
head. Grinning, Mousse pulled her upright, seating
Shampoo on the stool next to him.
"See, that's all there is to it," he said to
Tsubasa.
Tsubasa jotted down the final notes on his pad.
"Hmm, interesting dialogue. A little on the corny
side, don't look for any Oscars."
"Thanks," Mousse said giving him a brief smirk.
"You think you got it now?"
Kurenai hesitated, thinking about when and how he
was going to propose to Ukyo. "Still feel a bit
queasy," he said.
"Ignore it. Be stubborn like me. Strike hard and
fast before Ukyo can react and you've got it made."
Tsubasa agreed. "I'll do it!" he cried slamming a
fist down into the palm of his hand.
"Mousse," Shampoo said suddenly.
"Yes, Shampoo?"
Shampoo blinked her eyes breaking from the
mesmerizing spell she'd been under, turning her head to
look at him. "Where is ring?" she asked.
"Ring?" replied Mousse.
"Yes. Shampoo's wedding ring. One you just show
me."
"Oh, that ring! It's not yours, it's Tsubasa's."
Shampoo's right eye narrowed at him. Slowly she
stepped out of the chair obviously annoyed by the
explanation.
"What you mean you not have ring for Shampoo?"
"Uh Oh," muttered Tsubasa inching back from the
upcoming battlefield.
Mousse gulped, slipping out of his chair backing
away. "Uh, I was just practicing, Shampoo, dear!"
She stalked after him, the fury building with each
step. "Practicing! You tease Shampoo, make her think
she finally find true man in blind Mousse, and all was
just trick?"
"No, honey, sweetheart, love of my life! I mean
to marry you, but I, I, I don't have a ring right now.
I can't afford it!"
Shampoo cracked her knuckles, rapidly closing in
on her fianc=82e. "Shampoo want ring, and Shampoo will
have ring. Come here!"
"Tsubasa, help. Do something!" cried Mousse as
Shampoo lunged for him.
"What am I going to do?" he replied seconds before
Shampoo began pummeling Mousse with blows.
The commotion brought Ukyo form around the corner.
"Hey what's going on?" she asked.
"Oh nothing. Just a domestic quarrel," answered
Tsubasa.
Mousse scrambled to get away, but Shampoo caught
him by the collar and spun him around. "You duck-rat!
You not play with Shampoo's emotions and get away with
it. Take that!"
Tsubasa and Ukyo both flinched as Shampoo landed a
haymaker that sent Mousse into the next century. He
lay out cold on the floor; glasses askew on his face
the stars of the universe marching before his eyes.
Taking a hand full of his shirt, Shampoo dragged him
angrily towards the side door.
"Play with Shampoo," she muttered as she walked
past them. "Thank you, Ukyo for first aid," Shampoo
finished as she walked out.
"I wonder what that was all about?" Ukyo said
after a moment.
"Wedding plans," answered Tsubasa. "Goes to show
that it's best to leave everything for the woman to
handle."
"Funny, mister bachelor." Ukyo gave him a light
swat on the arm. "Come on we still have customers to
serve."
=

* * * * *
=

It was getting down to the wire and Tsubasa knew
it. Business picked up after reopening, but not a
heavy as before. He found some time between rounds to
take a break behind the counter, mulling scenarios
around in his mind on how to pop the proverbial
question to Ukyo. Ukyo stole up beside him, watching
for a moment then tapped him on the shoulder.
"Busy?" she said. Tsubasa jumped.
"Ukyo! Damn it to hell, don't do that," he said
catching his breath.
She giggled. "Sorry." Her smile faded, Ukyo
moving closer. "Tsubasa, I've been noticing this
strange . . . mood I guess you can call it, that you've
have lately."
Kurenai's body sagged, and he turned away from her
panic in his chest. Not now, he thought feeling the
nausea flowing through him again. A soft hand came
down on his shoulder gently turning him back around.
Tsubasa saw the tender caring look in Ukyo's eyes.
That only made him feel worse.
"Tsubasa what's wrong? You can tell me," she
said.
"Oh if it were only that easy, Ukyo," Tsubasa
replied.
Ukyo frowned, tipping her head slightly to one
side. "Can't be that bad. Look at you, breaking out
into a cold sweat, eyes as wide as saucers."
This is my chance, thought Tsubasa. Ukyo is
finally open to me and I can't say the words!
Desperately, he reached into his pocket, feeling the
folded proposal and wedding ring in his hand.
"You know you remind me of a man just about ready
to propose to his woman," continued Ukyo with a laugh.
"I just can't picture you doing that though."
Ice flowed through Tsubasa's veins at her comment.
He stood staring at her, thoroughly lost for words.
How she could make such a comment after all that he has
done in the past. Can't this woman see how much I love
her?
A light sigh sounded form Ukyo. "Would be nice
though," she said. That startled him. "I've been
thinking. You know Ranma sure is lucky to be getting
married right now,"
"What?" said Tsubasa.
"Yeah. I mean about this time I'd be a raving
lunatic, trying to kill Akane, slicing Shampoo's legs
off to keep her out of the way. (He, He) If you were
still cross-dressing, You'd probably be smack dab in
the middle of an okonomiyaki ball at the bottom of the
Kanda River right about now."
"Ukyo!" exclaimed Tsubasa, inching away from her.
She laughed. "Calm down, calm down. I've no
intentions of doing any of that stuff."
"You don't?" questioned Kurenai. He scratched his
head, trying to figure out what was going on. "Are you
saying you've gotten over Ranma?"
Ukyo thought about the question. "Ah, maybe. I
still have feelings for him, but its more like a sister
and brother relationship."
This is great, Tsubasa's mind cried out to his
conscious. Ukyo has gotten over Ranma. Now there is
no need for me to worry about him. I can take my time
. . . no! I have to make my move now while she is
open, before her mood shifts again.
"Ukyo, that's um, interesting," he said.
Brilliant, wrong words again!
Ukyo looked over at him, eyes softening as she
smiled. Tsubasa could feel his heart skipping beats,
mesmerized by her beauty. He blinked, reaching into
his pocket again inching back towards her.
"It is I guess. (Sigh) I find myself wishing
Ranma and Akane luck. Odd after all the things I've
done in the past to break them up."
"I can remember," replied Tsubasa. "What about
now, since they both work part-time for you here?"
"Oh, I don't foresee any problems. If they decide
to move, I'll just hire new help."
She really isn't kidding! I've got to do this now
before it's too late!
"Ukyo . . . there's something . . . s-s-something
I've been meaning to say--."
"That's right, we were talking about you, weren't
we?" Ukyo remembered.
"Uh-huh . . . Ukyo--,"
"Yes, Tsubasa?"
Kurenai swallowed the lump in his throat. He
stammered trying to remain calm but it was not working.
Give her the note, pleaded his brain. He tried pulling
his hand from his pocket, but his arm had suddenly gone
stiff. What are you waiting for! his brain cried out.
"What do you mean me? You're in charge of motor
functions. Fix it!"
"What?" said Ukyo.
"Oh, nothing, Ukyo. It wasn't meant for you, my
brain you see--,"
"Your brain?"
Oh great, botching this one up. Kurenai paused to
regroup and collect his thoughts. He closed his eyes,
drew in several deep sharp breaths then opened them.
"Ukyo, I want you too--,"
It was not Ukyo he found himself looking at, but
Kodachi Kuno seated at the counter. Somehow, during
his pause, he must have inadvertently turned that way.
This was the last thing he needed right now, an
audience. Tsubasa felt his chance slip away again.
"Hello, Kodachi," Ukyo said. "Can I get you
something?"
Kodachi sat still, an unusually bright expression
written on her face. Her eyes darted back and forth
between the two as if waiting for something to happen.
"Kodachi?" Ukyo said again.
"Yes, you could can," Kodachi said. Tsubasa found
her actions strange, moving to the far side of the
counter.
"I would like okonomiyaki, please," continued
Kodachi.
"Anything else?" asked Ukyo.
Kodachi glanced up at the ceiling, her mouth
forming a pout. "No." she replied looking back to
Ukyo.
Ukyo moved to the grill keeping a wary eye on her.
"One okonomiyaki coming up," she said slowly.
Taking the opportunity to clear away some of the
tables, Tsubasa stared at the darker half of the Kuno
family trying to figure out what it was she had brewing
in her mind. Every once in a while Kodachi would place
a smug smile on her face, hug herself as if she had
just succeeded in killing her worst enemy. That would
not surprise him, but to come in and order lunch after
that, unnerving to say the least. Carrying a tray full
of dishes back to the deep sink, Tsubasa called Ukyo
over to the door.
"I think Kodachi let a few barbells smack her
upside the head," he whispered to her.
"That or maybe she fell off the balancing beam,"
replied Ukyo with a snicker.
They both looked to find Kodachi staring
cheerfully into the okonomiyaki frying on the grill.
She'd let out one of her evil laughs, face aglow with
joy.
"Maybe we should call Tatewaki," said Ukyo.
Tsubasa nodded going back into the kitchen while Ukyo
went to talk with Kodachi.
Fixing the rest of her plate, she set it down
gingerly before Kodachi trying hard not to upset her in
anyway.
"Is there something the matter, Ukyo?" asked
Kodachi, separating the chopsticks in her hands.
"Kodachi, you're acting strange. I'm kind of
concerned."
Taking a bite from her lunch, Kodachi chewed it,
savoring the taste. "Mm, very good, Ukyo," she finally
said, swallowing it down.
"Thanks."
"Your welcome. I am feeling rather chipper
today."
"That's a small bit of an understatement there,
girl."
Kodachi laughed. "I'm sooooo happy. Happy,
Happy, Happy!"
Out of the back came Tsubasa, standing next to
Ukyo. "No answer," he said lightly to her.
"And do want to know why I'm so happy?" continued
Kodachi.
"I'm sure you'll tell us," answered Tsubasa.
The deranged woman leaned over the counter at
them, a crazed leer on her face. Ukyo and Tsubasa both
leaned fearfully back.
"I, Kodachi Kuno have succeeded in defeating my
stupid brother's plan to cashier me!"
"You have?" they said together.
"Yes!" Kodachi stood up on the stool, arms spread
wide. "I am victorious!" she cried. The few customers
in the restaurant stopped eating to stare at her.
"Rope," said Ukyo to Kurenai out the corner of her
mouth. "Get some rope!"
As Tsubasa ran for the back storage room, Ukyo
tried to calm Kodachi down.
"Ah, Kodachi. I think you've bounced one too many
Indian clubs off you knoggen," she said. "Why don't
you sit down and let me fix you a nice cup of hot tea."
Kodachi hopped down, taking another bite from her
lunch. She glanced at her watch, noting the time.
"Oooh, is it that late already?" she said. "I
must go and prepare for my dual victory tonight."
"Dual victory?"
"Oh yes. First, I present my brother with his
blood money and watch as he grinds that harlot Nabiki's
heart out of her body. Then, hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, then
I will eliminate the insidious Akane Tendo and steal
Ranma all for myself!"
Ukyo's shoulders sagged. "Ah-huhn?" she sounded.
Kodachi threw her head back, laughing again. "Oh
what joys to be had tonight!"
"Sit down, Kodachi . . . Tsubasa! You need some
help . . . TSUBASA!"
Kurenai appeared around the corner. "We don't
have any rope!" he shouted.
"Rip a tablecloth," Ukyo curtly replied through
grit teeth.
By then Kodachi finished eating her meal, wiping
her lips clean with a napkin and stood up.
"I thank you for your wonderful meal, Ukyo
Kuonji," she said.
"No, Kodachi! I mean sit down and have another
one. On the house!"
"Why thank you, Ukyo, but no. I must be running
along." Kodachi started heading for the doors then
stopped. She looked back over her shoulder giving Ukyo
a mischievous gaze.
"However; I am feel generous, so I will be the one
to treat you."
"What do you mean, Kodachi? Tsubasa get out
here!"
Letting out a short chuckle, Kodachi raised her
hands allowing Ukyo to see that she held nothing in
them. She clapped them together then reached behind
her head. Something round shot up into the air and
Ukyo covered up expecting it too be one of Kodachi's
deadly bombs. Instead, the thing landed on the
counter. It was a roll of money, a fat roll of money
that uncurled itself.
Ukyo gasped, jaw sagging as she stared at it.
"Kodachi . . . what is this?"
"That is for my meal, the meals of these other
people, and the rest of the meals to follow."
"Gee, Kodachi. Y-you have lost it, I mean that's
very nice of you. I'm afraid though we're going to be
closing in about an hour."
"Plenty of time!"
"For what?"
Tsubasa rushed around the corner expecting Ukyo to
be in some kind of scuffle with Kodachi. He skidded to
a stop, staring in shock at the money on the counter.
"What is that!" he exclaimed.
Ukyo did not answer, watching as Kodachi opened
both front doors. Immediately she realized what the
crazy woman was about to do.
"No . . . Kodachi, oh no . . . please, please
don't, Kodachi please!"
With arms spread wide, Kodachi tipped her head
skywards drawing in a deep breath.
"OKONOMIYAKI IS ON ME!" she cried throwing two
fists full of yen into the air.
Tsubasa rushed to the windows watching with
disbelief as the money fluttered to the streets. A
sudden mass of people appeared, scuffling and
scrounging for whatever they could get their hands on.
"Hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh. You can thank me
tonight at the party, Ukyo. That is if you are there.
Tah-tah!"
Ukyo could only cry out as a horde of people
charged into the restaurant demanding to be served.
"Six super-deluxe okonomiyaki to go!"
"I'll have four regular, and nine Italian style
with extra sauce!"
"Two family sized specials, and hold the ramen!"
Ukyo cried out, cooking frantically beneath the
deluge of orders. "TSUBASA!" she called.
Kurenai all ready was on the move, forcing his way
through the crowd and climbing over the counter top.
Together they cooked, boxed, and served customers until
their arms were tired, and it looked like there would
be no end in sight.
"I'll kill her!" shouted Ukyo slinging batter
across the grill.
Tsubasa grimaced, doing what he can to speed up
things. Several of the customers started to get
impatient, their voices grumbling amidst the din of
orders. It began to become too much for Kurenai,
tolerating enough setbacks today. The time ticked
away, and he knew that the later it got the less time
he'd have to propose before the party tonight.
"Tsubasa, I need more batter!" cried Ukyo.
He dashed into the kitchen, carrying out a large
tub of batter setting it in the bin beneath the grill.
"So much for closing early," he said to her
dashing back to his spot on the grill.
"That bitch Kodachi will pay for this. Ooh, will
she pay!"
"Hey, where's my order!" shouted one customer.
"We're getting to it, okay. Hold your horses!"
replied Kurenai.
"I want my Sweet Bean Rolls!" said another.
"Can I get something to drink over here!"
"What kind of service is this?"
Tsubasa finally had enough. He slammed down the
spatula in his hand and jerked off his apron.
"Look you bullheaded, gluttonous ingrates!" he
shouted. "There's only two of us here, and lunch was
only two hours ago, so I don't see how you all can be
so hungry!"
Everyone stopped, staring at the raging man as if
he had lost his mind.
"This whole day has been nothing but mishap after
disaster after mishap, and why? Because you walking
bottomless-pits have been keeping good folk like me
from doing things that are more important. How do you
expect me to ask Ukyo to marry me if you keep coming in
here to stuff your faces!"
Any remaining sounds suddenly ceased, every eye
locked solidly on Tsubasa. Kurenai could not believe
those words came from his lips. Taking a hard swallow,
he slowly turned to Ukyo. She stood frozen in place;
an okonomiyaki set on the spatula in her hand, staring
at him.
"Did I just say what I think I just said?"
muttered Tsubasa lightly.
Ukyo set the spatula down. "Tsubasa?" she said.
I did say it, thought Tsubasa. He felt his body
going numb again. No, not this time! Reaching into
his pocket, Kureni produced the note and the ring.
Thrusting it into Ukyo's hands, Tsubasa backed away.
His breath became shallow, and not wanting her to see
him in this state, Kurenai ran around the corner.
Ukyo stared at the box and note in her hand, too
stunned to do anything for the moment.
"So, does this mean we don't get anymore food?"
asked one of the customers sitting at the counter.
A spatula flashed, Ukyo smacking him square on the
forehead. Giving the crowd a menacing cut with her
eyes, she unfolded the note, reading its contents.
=

Ukyo, my darling,
How I have longed to speak these words, bearing my
heart, my very soul to you, hoping, praying that
somehow there in the warmth of your bosom there is
a place for me in your life.
Ukyo Kuonji, I have loved you ever since I first
laid eye upon your beauty so many years past. I
treasure the sound of your voice, a gentle touch
like that of an angel, for truly you are just
that, my angel. Please, accept this humble gift,
and allow such an undeserving man to share his
life with you forever.
Marry me.

Ukyo's cheeks felt hot, and she could imagine how
embarrassing this was. She opened the box, letting out
a loud gasp at the ring inside. Several whistles
followed as the customers got a good look at it.
"Oh, Miss Kuonji, you better land this one," said
a woman from the crowd.
Slowly, Ukyo gazed around searching for Kurenai.
"I'll be right back," she said to them going after
Tsubasa. She found him standing in the far corner,
hands pressed tight over his eyes.
Tsubasa?" she called to him.
"I knew it, I knew it. She's going to say no, I
just knew it!" rambled Tsubasa.
Ukyo tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Tsubasa
please turn around," she asked him.
"Okay . . . I can't!"
"Why not. I won't hurt you."
"I-its not that, Ukyo. I-I-I can't move. Uh, a
little help please."
Ukyo laughed. She took hold of his shoulders and
turned him around to face her. "I want to see your
face," she said prying his hands apart.
Tsubasa expected to see Ukyo's doubting look on
her face, the one he was so familiar with every time he
confessed his love for her when they still were both
cross-dressing. Instead, an enamored gaze filled her
eyes. She smiled at him looking Tsubasa over.
"Did you, did you really mean these words,
Tsubasa?" Ukyo asked.
"Y-yes, Ukyo. I did."
A thrill went through Ukyo, not used to anything
like this. Coming from Tsubasa Kurenai the Man made
all the difference to her and she felt somewhat
relieved. Someone truly loved her, not a distant
infatuation, but true love that she so long for.
Although Ukyo knew what her answer would be, she still
desired that final romantic touch.
"Your note was beautiful," she said. "But I want
to hear it from your lips."
"Hear. Hear what?" questioned Kurenai panic
rising in him. Ukyo moved closer.
"I want to hear you propose to me."
It was his worst nightmare come true, Tsubasa
feeling the usual symptoms creeping up on him. He
recalled all the advice given to him earlier in the
day, Mousses point about striking quickly echoing the
loudest. I don't think dipping her would be a good
idea he thought, but the rest of the suggestion made
good sense.
Kurenai dropped to one knee taking her hands,
staring up at his intended bride to be.
"Ukyo . . . I want you . . . will you." Pain
started shooting through his stomach, but Tsubasa
angrily fought it back. "Ukyo, will you marry me?"
That sealed the deal for Ukyo, knowing now that he
was the one for her. She dropped to her knees.
"Yes, Tsubasa. I'll marry you."
Imaginary fireworks went off around Tsubasa's
head. He stared at her not knowing what to do next.
Ukyo made that choice for him, leaning over to kiss
him. They were like that for a long minute then a loud
round of applause erupted behind them. Both of them
looked back to find their forgotten customers observing
the scene.
Ukyo cheeks turned bright red, and she let out a
light squeal darting behind the stunned Kurenai. "Oh,
go'way, go'way!" she said waving a hand at them.
Everyone laughed, coming over to congratulate the
couple.
"When's the wedding?" someone asked.
"Gee, I don't know," replied Tsubasa, scratching
his head. "There's so much still to talk about, uh we
still have this other wedding to attend."
"Hush," said Ukyo. "Like you said earlier, let
the woman make all the plans."
Kurenai nodded. "Why yes, dear," he replied. "I
forgot I'm not doing that sort of stuff anymore."
Ukyo giggled finally letting herself go, hugging
Tsubasa tightly. Despite all the disasters and
confusion that had gone on, she knew this was one of
the happiest days of her life. Tsubasa too felt joy
and an odd sense of relief in side him. Drawing back,
he looked into Ukyo's eyes.
"What?" questioned Ukyo.
"This is odd. You know for all of my worrying and
panic, I feel strangely calm. You would figure that--
."
The fear and panic in Kurenai finally caught up
with his consciousness. His eyes went wide.
"Uh, I think I'll take a nap now," Tsubasa said
before tipping back to the floor.
"Tsubasa!" cried Ukyo. She knelt down, taking a
hand patting it.
"Should we call for a doctor?" asked a customer.
Ukyo gazed upon Tsubasa's gentle features. She
shook her head. "No, he'll be all right." A murmur
sounded from Kurenai, her name whispered from his lips.
She smiled.
"Men . . .."
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Epilogue:
=

Good Evening
Casual conversations carried around the Tendo
dining room as all of the major participants for Ranma
and Akane's wedding shared stories and odd gossip,
nibbling on the food on the table. Kasumi felt utterly
relieved that so far nothing drastic had occurred to
mar the evening's festivities.
Excellent, she thought to herself. A peaceful,
quiet evening to get everyone's minds off the afternoon
and to get them used to Ranma and Akane's relationship.
That part was most important, and it looked to Kasumi
that her secret intentions would succeed.
Kasumi looked around the room. Off near the
patio, Ranma sat putting down another bowl of rice and
shrimp. A towel draped over his shoulders; Akane
seated behind him doing what she always wanted to do
since she met him. Ranma took time from his eating to
glance slightly back over a shoulder.
"You had better not mess up my hair, woman," he
said.
The flat side of the scissors in Akane's hands
smacked him on the head. "Be quiet! I've been waiting
too long for this to have you now complaining about how
to cut your hair."
"Yeah well, just don't cut all of my ponytail
off."
"Hush!"
Akane pulled a comb through the long locks of
hair, drawing it back then cut off the lower portion.
She gathered up the cuttings and placed them in a bowl
already half full of hair. Chu-Chu chirped, happily
feasting on his food.
"He better appreciate this," grumbled Ranma.
"Will you stop complaining," said Akane, swatting
him on the head again.
Kasumi placed a hand to her mouth, suppressing her
giggles. A heavy thump sounded from the far end.
Ryoga lay sprawled on his stomach staring at Nobu and
Yoshio as they scurried off across the room, each with
an ear of corn in their mouths.
"Hey, come back with my food!" shouted Ryoga. He
started to go after them, but Akari grabbed hold of his
shirt, dragging him back.
"Ryoga," she said amidst her giggles. "Be nice
will you."
"Be nice? The little pirates have absconded half
my dinner so far."
"Oh they're just playing with you."
"And I'm still hungry too!"
Mousse, seated next to them, downed the last of
his bowl of soup. He let out a satisfying sigh
smacking his lips.
"Don't worry, Ryoga," he said. "There's plenty of
food in the kitchen and . . . hey, what's this?"
Mousse picked up an empty rice bowl next to him,
turning it around in his hands. "My bowl is empty.
NEW HELP, NEW HELP, WHERE ARE YOU?" he called out.
From the kitchen doors, Kodachi Kuno hurriedly ran
into the room. She was dressed in a waitress's
uniform, the lengths of chain around her wrist and
ankles rattling as she moved.
"Yes, Mister Mousse?" she said bringing a loud
chuckle from him and Ryoga.
"My rice bowl is empty, girl! Get me some more,
at once!" ordered Mousse.
"I'll have more Sashimi," added Ryoga.
Kodachi's lips formed into a pout as she took the
orders and ran back into the kitchen.
"Mister Mousse," said Mousse. He slammed a fist
down on the table. "I love it! It's about time
somebody serves me for a change."
Kasumi frowned turning to Cologne seated across
from her. "Are those chains really necessary?" she
asked.
"Kodachi already tried slipping out on me,"
replied Cologne. "I'm not letting that one go until
she's paid off her debt."
"Which will be sometime in the middle of next
year," added Nabiki.
Tatewaki set down the cup of tea in his hand,
turning to her. "I though it was only three months?"
he said.
A slight grimace crossed Nabiki's face. "I, ah,
made a slight mistake in calculations."
Kodachi's head appeared out around the kitchen
door. "No she didn't, brother. I'm being held against
my will. It's a conspiracy I tell you, a--,"
"Where's my food!" shouted Mousse driving her back
inside.
"She fails to realize that she cost me plenty in
favors to cover all of Cologne's losses," continued
Nabiki.
"But really, Nabiki?" said Kasumi.
"No, no, no. I want my pound of flesh."
Kasumi sighed. If Tatewaki held no objections
then it must not be doing Kodachi any serious harm.
Talking about Cologne reminded her that Shampoo was
oddly missing from the party. She knew she had come
over, but did not remember her leaving.
Excusing herself, she went over to the patio and
gazed around the grounds. Akari's Sumo-pig family was
out in the yard feeding on their dinners. Several of
the piglets skipped and played around with Chu-Chu,
teasing the cricket as he playfully tussled with them.
Chi-Pen kept a close eye on her brood and the ravenous
insect, just to make sure he did not forget himself and
make one of the children a quick snack.
A voice carried from around the corner. Kasumi
walked over and found Shampoo seated on the walkway
holding Fujiko up before her.
"You see, little piggy? Shampoo have lot on mind
now. I not sure what to do?"
Fujiko tipped her head trying to understand
Shampoo's predicament. Kasumi arched a brow.
"Shampoo?" she said.
Shampoo jumped, turning around. "Ooo, Kasumi, you
all most give Shampoo great heart attack!"
"We would not want that," replied Kasumi. "Why
are out here? The party is inside."
Shampoo set the piglet down, gazing sadly to the
ground. "Shampoo not want to go inside yet," she
answered rather meekly.
Only then did Kasumi notice the large Chinese
scimitar leaning against the side of the house. No
doubt, Cologne's influence again, mused Kasumi. She
sat down next to her.
"Shampoo, are you still planning to interfere with
Ranma and Akane's wedding?"
Shampoo shook her head slowly. "I not want to,
but great-grandma say tonight I must make challenge or
be cast out!"
"Cast out? Cast out of what?"
"Tribe . . . and Neko Hanten."
Kasumi was shocked. "You mean Cologne is going to
totally kick you out without any form of compassion?"
"That my punishment."
"Well, I'm sure Mousse will not let that happen."
Shampoo drew in a deep sigh. Her shoulders sagged
even further. "Mousse. He another problem."
Kasumi suddenly grabbed Shampoo by the shoulders.
"Shampoo, can't you see that Mousse loves you!" she
shouted trying to shake some sense into the girl. "So
Cologne kicks you out. Together, you two can start
your own family and live happily, and if you think I am
going to let you ruin Akane's wedding you are sadly
mistaken!"
She let her go, Shampoo taking a few moments to
let her head clear before answering.
"Whoa, world spin all around. That not what I
mean about Mousse, Kasumi."
"It's not?"
"No. You see . . . silly blind boy propose to
Shampoo today, and I say yes."
Cheer filled Kasumi. She clasped her hands before
her. "You did! That's wonderful, Shampoo."
"No it not!" She turned away holding her head in
her hands. Kasumi could sense the tears forming.
Gently, she placed an arm around Shampoo for comfort.
"I understand, Shampoo," she said.
The Amazon sniffled lightly, clearing her eyes.
"I supposed to marry strong man, but Shampoo defeated
by not strong man, and without fight."
"That's not true, Shampoo. Does a man have to use
his fist to be strong?"
It was a point that Shampoo never considered.
Thinking a moment, she suddenly brightened up smiling
at Kasumi.
"You right it not matter!"
Right or wrong, Kasumi could see it was the best
angle for her to take in this situation. Shampoo was
hooked, and if luck held, Cologne would buy off on it
too.
"So you'll give up Ranma?" she asked. The smile
dropped from Shampoo's face.
"I can, but now is problem of great-grandmother."
"Let me ask you this. Do you love Mousse?"
"Of course I love Mousse! Did I not say Shampoo
would marry stupid blind man? Did I not tolerate
hopeless puppy dog devotion over years to have him go
away now? No!"
"Okay, okay, I believe you." Kasumi stood up.
"Then I guess it's time for Shampoo to make her first
decision without Cologne's influence, eh?"
Shampoo watched her go, thinking about what she
had to do now. It scared her, but Kasumi had been
right all along. It was time to speak what she really
felt in her heart, even if it caused her great-
grandmother some heartache. Hopping to her feet,
Shampoo grabbed the hilt of her sword.
"Please leave the sword behind," said Kasumi.
Shampoo's hand jerked away from the weapon. Well,
it was not needed anyway; Shampoo rushing to catch up.
Back inside most of the women had gathered around
Ukyo to admire her new, soon to be wedding ring. They
gapped at it, jaws slack unable to believe such a ring
could exist.
"Good grief," muttered Cologne blinking her eyes.
"Such a jewel."
"Tsubasa says it's been in his family for
generations," replied Ukyo. "Now it's going to be
mine."
"Well if I were you, I'd find a strong secure
place to lock it up in," said Akane. "That is
definitely going to draw some unwanted attention."
Kasumi peered over, getting a good look at the
ring. "My goodness! Where are my sunglasses?" she
joked.
"Shampoo's ring!" cried Shampoo. "That Shampoo's
ring! What Ukyo doing with it?"
Ukyo closed the box up, tucking it protectively
back into her pocket. "Oh yes, Tsubasa told me the
story. Sorry Shampoo, bad mistake on everyone's part."
"But Mousse promise me ring! How he intend to
marry Shampoo without ring?"
"What!" cried Cologne. She hopped in front of
Shampoo, balancing on the end of her staff. "Shampoo,
have you lost your mind?" she said glaring menacingly.
Shampoo drew in a hard swallow. "No," she
answered, cutting a quick glance over to Kasumi.
"Shampoo . . . Shampoo not make mistake!"
"So, you have lost your mind, or maybe your
memory. Do you not want to return to China and become
the leader of the tribe?"
"I do."
"Then you must marry the man that has defeated
you. Ranma!"
Akane rolled her eyes, looking over to Nabiki.
"Oh great, here we go again," she said.
"I'll get out the mats," replied Nabiki.
"No!" exclaimed Shampoo. "Great-grandmother,
Mousse is man to marry Shampoo. He defeat me today."
It was the first time anyone had ever seen Cologne
fall off her staff. She tumbled across the floor,
coming up on all fours to gape at her granddaughter.
"You, you lost to Mousse? Impossible!" she cried.
"It no lie," continued Shampoo. "Mousse defeat
Shampoo and propose all in same time. I except, but
only if I get monster ring like Ukyo's."
A slap echoed from behind them, the women turning
to see Ranma, Ryoga, and Mousse grouped around Tsubasa.
They took turns slapping him across the top of the
head, growling their displeasure at him for owning such
an item.
"What are you trying to do, sink my wedding before
I even get started?" snapped Ranma.
"No, Ranma I--,"
A hard slap brought him around to Ryoga. "Now
look, we're going to have to by rings just as exotic as
that for our wives!"
"It's not my fault--,"
Mousse hit him. "How am I going to find a ring
like that, yet alone pay for it!"
"Okay, so I--,"
"Have bad timing?" said Ranma swatting him again.
"Understatement, Tsubasa!"
Before another blow could be launched, Ukyo
reached through them, drawing Tsubasa out of the trap.
"Leave him alone!" she shouted at them.
"Kurenai's done nothing wrong."
"Except make our women want a ring like yours!"
snapped Ranma.
"That's not true," said Akane. Ranma started.
"It's not?" he replied.
Akari stole up next to Ryoga. She hugged his arm
tight, smiling up at him. "No. What makes you think
we want rings like that?" she asked.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the looks on your
faces," said Ryoga.
Akane thumped Ranma's chest with a fist. "Ooo,
you chauvinist," she said. "Stereotyping us women."
"So you're saying you don't want a ring like
that?" asked Ranma. Akane nodded her head, and he let
out a relieved sigh. She grinned, turning away.
"That's what anniversaries are for," said Akane.
Ranma and Ryoga frowned, shooting dark stares in
Tsubasa's direction. Mousse let out a moan sitting
down back at the dinner table.
"Oh man! I finally have Shampoo's love, and it
remains out of reach. How am I going to pay for a ring
like that?"
They say sharks can smell blood in the ocean five
miles away. Apparently, this was also true for loan
sharks. Before he knew it, Nabiki and Tatewaki sat on
either side of him, looks of profit in their eyes.
They remained silent; Mousse hunkering low waiting for
the inevitable. Turning to Tatewaki, he started to
speak, but a confiding arm draped around his shoulders.
"We have, uh . . . reasonable rates," said
Tatewaki anticipating his question.
"And when you find that jewelry store, let Kuno-
baby know so he can go out and buy one too," added
Nabiki.
Tatewaki frowned. "What do you mean me, Nabiki?
I have no need for a ring, especially a wedding ring."
Nabiki was on him in a flash. "What about your
proposal to me this afternoon?" she asked him.
"Proposal? Oh, you mean my proposal for you to
become my Head Accountant."
Tatewaki's expression dropped as sudden
realization hit him. He grimaced, inching away from
Nabiki.
"Now, Nabiki let's not reach any forgone
conclusions."
Nabiki followed right along with him. "I
distinctly heard a proposal in your words, Tatewaki
Kuno," she said.
"You did not, I barely had--,"
"A proposal is a proposal!" snapped Nabiki.
Kuno pressed up against somebody, looking back
over his shoulder straight into Soun Tendo's eyes. He
grimaced, flinching sharply.
"Are you teasing my daughter in my presence,
Kuno," growled Soun.
Tatewaki swallowed the lump in his throat. "Uh,
not teasing, just correcting a mistake."
Nabiki's eyes watered, then the deluge began.
"BWAAAH! Daddy he's teasing me!" she cried.
"Kuno! Show some dignity as a man and accept your
responsibilities!" Genma said.
Soun began reaching into his shirt, slowly drawing
out a katakana. Desperate glances followed, Tatewaki
frantically trying to find away out of his predicament.
"BWAAAH! I'll sue, Tatewaki! I swear I'll sue
you!"
"Tatewaki Kuno," trailed Soun ready to skin him
alive.
Faced with both bodily harm and financial ruin,
Tatewaki held up his hands in defeat.
"Ah yes, I remember now! Of course, I totally
forgot my proposal to Nabiki, ah . . . that is I was
going to wait until I consulted with--,"
"You have my approval!" exclaimed Soun wrapping a
fatherly arm around Tatewaki's shoulders.
Off to the side, Akane and Ranma traded high fives
pleased that another obstacle disappeared from their
lives.
"How wonderful," said Kasumi. "I can see the next
few months are going to be very busy."
"Hey, a multiple wedding!" suggested Akari.
"Not until Shampoo get ring!"
Cologne hopped over to Ranma, balancing eye to eye
with him. She looked him over, then let out a low
grunt hopping down to the floor.
"Well, Ranma. You've managed to get off the
hook," she said.
Ranma knelt. "Does that mean you are excepting
Mousse as Shampoo's suitor?"
"No, I'm just speaking to hear my voice. What to
you think I mean!"
Mousse shot to his feet. "Yes!" he cried. A
sharp tap on a foot had him hobbling about the room.
"Ow! What did you do that for?" he shouted at
Cologne.
"To get your attention, groom," she replied. A
quick leap had him by the collar, pulling Mousse to the
floor. "Just be sure you can hold up to your end of
the deal, Mousse."
Mousse fumbled for his glasses. "Don't worry,
Cologne. I'll show you how good of a husband I can
be!"
Shampoo pulled Mousse up. Placing his glasses
back on his face, they stood staring at each other for
a second. She smiled, moving close and laid her head
on his chest.
"You still silly, but I like," she said.
A loud cry carried suddenly from the front door, a
hurried pair of footsteps following shortly after.
Hikaru Gosunkugi and Ono Tofu scurried into the dinning
room.
"Quick close the doors!" said Tofu running for the
patio entrance.
"Ono, what's wrong?" asked Kasumi.
Gosunkugi leaned up against the dining room
partition, three shades paler than normal. His chest
heaved as he fought to recover his breath.
"There's this huge bug outside!" he exclaimed.
"It's got to be some kind of demon!"
The two men were surprised when everyone in the
room broke out into fits of laughter. Tofu scratched
his head, gazing around.
"Obviously, there's something we've missed," he
said.
Kasumi giggled as she walked past him out onto the
patio. "Chu-Chu," she called out into the night. A
chirp replied, then the mammoth cricket hopped into
view followed by the brood of piglets he had been
playing with. Nabiki let out a groan moving behind
Tatewaki, clutching the hidden can of extra strength
RAID in her robes. Tofu jumped slightly.
"Kasumi, get away from it!" he said.
"Ono, don't be silly. Chu-Chu won't harm me."
She picked the cricket up, cradling him in her
arms. Ono and Hikaru both stared at it in awe.
"Amazing," Hikaru finally said. Tofu moved
closer, tilting his head from side to side.
"Never seen anything like it. Is it available for
study?"
"Ono!" snapped Kasumi.
"Just a question, Kasumi," he replied.
"Chu-Chu is not a lab specimen. He's a pet."
"And bringing lots of good luck too," added Ranma.
Curiosity overcame Doctor Tofu and Gosunkugi.
They moved in for a closer look at the cricket. Hikaru
attempted to touch Chu-Chu, but a threatening hiss
sounded and he wisely drew back.
"Chu-Chu behave," scolded Kasumi.
Doctor Tofu adjusted his glasses, blinking his
eyes several times. "Okay, so can you tell me how this
cricket became so large?" he asked.
Kasumi let out a short chuckle. "I went back to
Miss Ubono's to see if I could find anything else to
satisfy his hunger. You'll never believe what I found
in his basket."
"Let me guess. Steroids?" replied Nabiki.
"No." Kasumi laughed before continuing. "Plant
growth food."
"Plant Growth Food?" the group said together.
"Yes. Poor Miss Ubono must have gotten her
bottles all mixed up. Needless to say, I've fixed that
problem."
"I hope so," said Akane. "One Chu-Chu is more
than enough."
Tofu stared close at Chu-Chu again, then sighed
drawing back. "Oh well. Sorry I'm late."
"It's okay, Doctor Tofu. Plenty of food to go
around," Genma said.
"Yes, sit down. You too, Gosunkugi," said Soun.
"Uh, thanks, but I came to see Kodachi," replied
Hikaru.
"Kodachi, eh?" said Ryoga giving him a sly grin.
"Better watch out, Hikaru. People are getting engaged
around here left and right. Isn't that so, Kuno?"
Tatewaki, with a smiling Nabiki cuddled up on one
arm, frowned. "Please, don't remind me," he said.
Akari swatted Ryoga on the head. "She's in the
kitchen. Just ignore the chains," she said.
Gosunkugi headed for the kitchen, pausing briefly
to ponder her last comment. He shook it off, opening
the door.
"Kodachi? Kodachi I'm here, and I brought that
file you wanted."
"File?" growled Cologne.
A pair of hands quickly snatched Gosunkugi through
the doorway, Kodachi grinning innocently at them as she
shut the door. In a flash, Cologne followed them.
"Say, should we go and help?" Mousse asked the
rest of the gang. A sharp squeal form Kodachi echoed
from the kitchen.
"Nah, I don't think so," replied Ranma.
"Still have to give my twisted sister credit,"
added Tatewaki. "Her persistence is admirable."
Kasumi sat down next to Ono. "Okay, so let's get
back to the main purpose of this get together," she
said. "Do we change plans now that there are going to
be three more weddings?"
"Oh no," declared Mousse shaking his head.
"Why not, Mousse?" asked Ukyo.
"Are you kidding? Four weddings, Nerima, and our
luck? I don't think the community could stand all the
disasters that combination would bring."
"What do you mean disasters?" Akane said. She
stopped glancing over at Kasumi, then to Ryoga and
Akari before realizing what he meant. Nervously, she
chewed on her lower lip inching closer to Ranma.
"Yeah, that would be something," said Ryoga
reflecting on his wedding day.
"So you think it best to keep them separate?"
asked Kasumi.
"Oh, definitely," he replied. "I've had enough
excitement today to last for a while."
"Can't argue with that," commented Nabiki.
Tsubasa picked up his glass raising it up.
"A toast then," he said. "Too all of us. May our
futures be bright, and the rest of our years be full of
joy."
"Here, here!" agreed Ranma, raising his glass.
"I think it better to reduce the time frame,"
commented Mousse.
"Reduce it? By how much, Mousse?" asked Kasumi.
Another short squeal sounded from the kitchen,
briefly drawing their attention. Mousse smiled.
"One day," he said. "Just one day at a time.."
=

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FIN