Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The Big Break-Up ❯ Chapter 7

This story contains scenes of explicit sex, naughty words, and other horrible, offensive things.  If you are underage in your house, village, town, city, community, state, province, country, or continent: READ NO FURTHER!  If that type of thing offends your tender sensibilities, or you are stupid: READ NO FURTHER!  All characters are the copyright of their respective creators and/or owners; no copyright infringement is intended by this story.  Any resemblance to people, places, or situations alive, dead, or otherwise is purely coincidental.

 

The Big Break-Up

Chapter 7

 

One Hour Later, Mid-Afternoon

 

Ranko crunched on the ice cubes in her iced tea, not noticing the frown on her mother's face as she was busy watching Ranma practice his kendo forms in the garden. The trio had just finished their lunch in Nodoka's home, a very large, walled off estate much different from the tiny apartment Ranma, Genma and Nodoka had lived in so many years ago. The truth of the matter was that Nodoka came from an extremely wealthy family that Genma had married into to take the name of Saotome. Nodoka's parents hadn't approved of the marriage, not trusting their new son-in-law. Thus, Nodoka had been kicked out of the family home when she went through with the marriage anyway.

 

While Genma and Ranma were off traveling around Japan and China in order to train and perfect their martial arts skills, however, Nodoka and her family had made up. At that point she had moved back in with her parents to help take care of them and when they had died about six years ago they had left their daughter all of their immense fortune. They had also been careful, of course, to insert several clauses into their wills to make sure that Genma would never see one single yen of it. This money was how Nodoka had been able to hire such skilled weapons masters to train her son and on her estate there were plenty of places to practice as Ranma was doing at that very moment.

 

Ranko had wanted to join her brother in training after lunch, but their mother had asked her to stay and talk with her for a moment. Which was why the two women were sipping iced tea, well, more gulping on Ranko's part, on the veranda watching as Ranma worked with his bokuto.

 

Finally Nodoka spoke up, but her manner seemed very flustered, which was quite unusual for her. She was obviously not exactly sure how to proceed. But she did her best, “Ranko dear?”

 

“Yeah?” Ranko reluctantly turned away from Ranma to see what her mother wanted.

 

“Well, it's just that…You see, perhaps it's too…Well, too personal. The thing is, I know…Well, I know that you and Ranma share…How to say this? That you both…share the same memories and thoughts. And I was wondering…I mean if it's not too much to ask…”

 

Ranko frowned as her mother floundered along. Eventually realizing that she needed some kind of encouragement, the teenager tried to give it. “It's OK, Mom. You can ask me anything. We ain't got nuthin' to hide.”

 

“Thank you, dear,” Nodoka visibly took a hold of herself before she continued. “Earlier today you mentioned that if your new selection of underwear made Ranma stand up and take notice, then it would work on anyone. And it's just that…Well, Ranma dear is so manly in so many wonderful ways: he's so handsome, strong, tough, honorable, a skilled martial artist,” Nodoka's eyes started to go a bit starry as she listed Ranma's positive attributes from her viewpoint. “And he has so many beautiful young girls falling for him…It's just so clear what a manly son I have!”

 

Abruptly Nodoka's mood seemed to plummet. “But I've been so disappointed that Ranma doesn't seem to…take advantage of his opportunities.” Nodoka frowned, “I must admit that recently I've been becoming…worried. Is…is my son…gay?”

 

“NO! NO! No way!” Ranko hastened to reassure her mother as she saw the older woman's hand begin unconsciously creeping toward the sword she always kept near her. “I mean, not that there's nuthin' wrong with bein'…Well, you know. But trust me; Ranma is 100%, totally, completely, straight-as-an-arrow!”

 

“Well, that's a relief,” Nodoka said releasing her katana in order to take another sip of iced tea. The frown on her face remained, however, as she asked, “Then just why isn't Ranma dear expressing his natural, manly urges? I was thinking it could just be the old saltpetre effect, but-”

 

“Uh, `saltpetre effect'?” Ranko interrupted. “What's that?”

 

“Well,” Nodoka explained, a smile gracing her attractive face. “In the past young men who attended boarding schools, joined the military, or were in similar situations found that their manly urges declined. The cause of this was of course that they were in a new, stressful situation, often accompanied by strenuous physical conditioning. These factors naturally led to the fact that they didn't feel quite the same level of…yearning as they were used to. To the boys, however, their change in feelings didn't seem natural at all and a rumor at some point in time began that the authorities, whether school officials or government officers, laced the food with saltpetre in order to reduce their urges and make them more docile. It is a legend that has passed from one generation to the next, and is often known as the saltpetre effect.”

 

“Huh,” Ranko grunted with interest. “Yeah, actually that does make some sense, don't it? I mean, pretty much our whole lives have been in new places, with lots of stresses and hard physical exercise…It would explain a few things, I guess.”

 

Nodoka nodded her head, “Mmhmm, that's what I thought at first. But Ranma has been living in the Tendo house for over a year now…I really thought he would have recovered his natural feelings by this point.”

 

“Yeah, but it ain't like our lives are any calmer or more relaxed here,” Ranko objected. “We're gettin' jumped by someone who's either in love with us or wants to kill us nearly every day. And that's not to mention all the travelin' we've had to do to learn new techniques or rescue Akane after some moron kidnaps that weakling…It's not exactly a walk in the park, ya know?”

 

“But still…”

 

“And it's not like stupid ol' Pop ever taught us much about girls. I mean, we didn't even know Ucchan was one until we found out by accident! About the only thing that stupid ball of panda fat told us was that girls were weak and a distraction from trainin'. We never had any kind of relationship with girls,” Ranko was on a roll and her face was flushed as she tried to explain the situation to her mother.

 

“Guys were different; they were either friends or enemies and we knew how to play, practice or fight with `em. But girls…” Ranko shook her head, her pigtail flopping back and forth as she did so. “They were like a whole `nother species or somethin'. And since we've been here…Well, it ain't been much better. First Shampoo and Ukyou wanted to kill us, and then at a drop of a hat they were jumpin' all over us saying they loved us. And Akane! Man! First it's `Let's be friends!' and then it's `You stupid pervert!'” The teen pounded her hand on the table, causing the drinks and tableware to sway dangerously, but fortunately nothing fell over. “We just got no idea how to handle girls, you know Mom? So we just try to stay away from `em.”

 

The two women were silent for a few minutes after Ranko's impassioned comments. The only sounds on the veranda were Ranma's sharp exhalations of breath as he practiced, heedless of the discussion taking place not so far away, and the sounds of various insects in the garden. Suddenly a light breeze blew through causing the wind chime to ring softly. As if that were a signal, Nodoka spoke up.

 

“I see,” her voice was quiet and she stared off into the hazy blue sky. “I thought Genma may have been…remiss in that part of Ranma's manly education. Perhaps he needs to be…reprimanded.” Again the auburn-haired woman's hand touched the hilt of her katana, but she soon returned to the topic of her son. “But, after all, that is why I've been trying to teach Ranma what he needs to know as a Man among Men. He doesn't seem so interested, though. That's why I thought what I did.”

 

Ranko's mind flashed back to her mother's various presentations on the correct styles, techniques, and approaches to being a manly man, at least in Nodoka's view. The graphic Power Point presentation based on The Guide to Getting It On! had been particularly traumatic for Ranma. “Well…Maybe you've been a bit too…aggressive, Mom,” Ranko pointed out carefully.

 

“Whatever do you mean?”

 

“Uh…” Ranko wracked her brain for an analogy that might make sense for both of them. Her face lit up as she hit on one. “Well, let's put it this way. If you're going to start teachin' someone how to use a sword, what's the first thing you do?”

 

“Teach the proper way to hold it, of course.”

 

“Not the double sword technique for dealing with multiple foes?”

 

“Certainly not! That's far too advanced for a beginner! It would simply confuse them.” Ranko stayed quiet waiting for the point to sink home. Finally it did. “I see,” Nodoka was obviously putting a lot of thought into reexamining her view of things. “So you're saying I need to treat Ranma as if he were a total novice, completely inexperienced in all aspects of this side of his manliness?” She sighed at Ranko's nod of agreement. At this rate I'll be waiting a long time for my grandchildren to come! She lamented internally.

 

Seeing her mother's depressed mood, Ranko tried to cheer her up. “Don't get down, Mom! We're only 17 and you know how fast we pick things up. Just start slow and I'm sure things'll work out OK. And I'm here now, too, so I'll try to help out as best as I can.”

 

Nodoka's expression brightened up by these points and she happily took a drink of her iced tea. As she was setting it down she asked, “Actually, I've been meaning to ask you about that, Ranko dear.”

 

“What's that?”

 

“Well, I know you and Ranma share all of your memories and experiences, so why aren't you as…hesitant in these matters as he is?”

 

“Yeah, we do have all the same things in our head, but I guess we interpreted `em differently or somethin'.” Ranko frowned as she tried to explain. “For me, what was happenin' was a little…removed I'd guess you could say. I mean, I guess I could kinda be more objective about them than Ranma who was personally feeling them. For me his personality was like a…barrier or somethin' between me and what was happenin'. So I was kinda able to think about them differently in some ways than he did.”

 

“My! How interesting!”

 

“By the way, since I'm gonna help out with gettin' Ranma more…interested in what you're teaching, I was wonderin' if I could borrow some books and stuff? You know, just the basics!” The redhead hastened to add, a little nervous by how excited Nodoka looked and the way the older woman jumped to her feet.

 

“Of course, of course!” Nodoka agreed happily. “Follow me!” Ranko trailed after her mother, silently wondering if she had made a mistake in asking what she had. After a few minutes walk through the elegant, classically decorated mansion Nodoka led her daughter up a wide staircase to the third floor and then through a set of wooden double doors into a large library. The far side of the library was dominated by a gigantic window that let the sunlight stream in to naturally illuminate the room, but the gratifying coolness of the room told Ranko that it was air conditioned for any readers' comfort.

 

“This way, dear!” Ranko jerked out of her amazed staring at her mother's call and hurried over to where Nodoka was. The mother and daughter quickly made their way among the stacks until they got to the section that was their goal. “Ah, here we go!” Nodoka looked reverently at the bookcases.

 

“It has been the duty of women in the Saotome clan for generations to collect appropriate literature,” She explained to her stunned daughter, indicating the thousands upon thousands of books surrounding them. “And this is just the tip of the iceberg! Rarer and more valuable books are kept in special storage and we have many more volumes in other locations.” She walked over to a desk hidden just around the corner of the bookshelf and turned on the computer on it. “To be honest, one of our biggest problems has just been keeping track of everything. That's why I've spent the last several years creating a directory of every document owned by the Saotome family.”

 

As she spoke Nodoka was expertly using the computer's mouse, clicking until she brought up a screen that was obviously a search menu. “Just type in the author, title, approximate date of publication, topic, or any of a number of other fields and the engine will list all of the volumes that match. It will even give the various editions or versions of the same book that we may have as well as their locations and other texts that you might be interested in. Let me show you!” Leaning over she quickly typed in `ménage a trois' and hit the `Enter' button. Almost immediately a list of books featuring that particular technique was generated, each of them with short descriptions of their particular focus, highlighted reference points, etc.

 

Ranko's eyes went wide at what she glimpsed as she scanned the list of books her mother's search had just generated and what that probably indicated for the rest of the `literature' that was in the Saotome family's library. “So, uh,” the teen asked in order to confirm her thoughts. “So all of these books are for…Well, for…”

 

“Yes, of course!” Nodoka agreed brightly. “They're all manuals for teaching the correct manly and womanly arts to well brought up people!”

 

Looking around at the thousands of volumes in this seemingly normal library, Ranko realized, I'm standin' in the middle of the greatest monument to perversity ever created by anyone. The old letch would have a field day in here!! Then she noticed her mother dabbing away some tears from the corner of her eyes with a handkerchief. “What's wrong, Mom?”

 

“Oh, nothing, dear. It's just that I've been a bit worried about who would continue the Saotome tradition after me, but now that I have a daughter to carry on after me…! Everything's just perfect!!” Nodoka again paused to wipe away a tear of happiness while Ranko wiped away a sweat drop of nervousness. Then the older woman added, “My mothers must be so happy to see you here, asking for instruction in our family's great customs!!” At that point she broke down completely and hugged her red haired daughter, nearly crushing the teen while she cried on her shoulder.

 

Ranko patted her mother on the back and tried to help her calm down when a sudden thought struck her. “Uh, `mothers'? Did you have a stepmother or something, Mom?”

 

“Of course not, dear,” Nodoka, her drenched hanky now useless at removing the tears streaming down her face, led her daughter past the computer they had just been using and to one end of the library. On the wall there, surrounded by glass cases containing especially treasured tomes, was a large oil portrait showing a seated middle-aged Japanese man dressed in a dark colored, traditional kimono and hakama while standing around him were three beautiful women. One was also dressed in traditional Japanese clothes, a dark green kimono, while the other two were dressed in western styles. One was dressed in a formal cocktail dress that looked like it must have been the height of fashion in the 1950s while the last one was dressed in a black professional business dress-suit.

 

While Ranko looked up at the large painting, Nodoka pointed out the various people. “That's your grandfather, Ryuji Saotome, and your grandmothers, Keiko, Ryoko, and Ikumi. It's so sad that they could never meet you or Ranma, but I'm sure that they're looking over us all from Heaven.”

 

Ranko looked over at her mother in confusion. “Um…So which one was your mother? And who was Grandpa actually married to? Is one of these Pop's mother?”

 

Nodoka laughed, “You silly! Father was married to all of them, naturally! And they were all equally my mother.” She paused as if deciding whether or not to say something before going on. “To be honest they never approved of me marrying your father and Genma never actually mentioned his parents. I get the feeling there were some problems there as well. Ah, such foolishness!” Nodoka sighed thinking of all the time wasted due to bad feelings among the various family members.

 

“Ain't it illegal to be married to more than one person?” Ranko asked, once again looking up at the oil painting of her grandparents.

 

“Such a recent, ridiculous law would never keep a true Man among Men from obtaining the type of family life that he needs and deserves!” Nodoka dismissed the government and modern mores with a sniff, before smiling as she resumed speaking, “That's how I knew Ranma dear was a success, despite his…lack of aggressiveness with women. Who else but a Man among Men would have so many fiancées? Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho!!!”

 

Someone with a deadbeat idiot for a father! Ranko thought with disgust, but wisely kept her thoughts to herself while her mother laughed in delight.

 

Nodoka finally settled down and gestured for her daughter to follow her back among the bookshelves. “Well, dear, I hope this little look at your heritage will only whet your appetite for more! But now we have to find you just the right selection of texts for you and Ranma. I think we should start with…”

 

One Hour Later

 

“So what's in the bag? It looks heavy!”

 

Ranko looked at the satchel currently sitting in her lap and had to agree with her brother; the damn thing was heavy! What her mother considered the basics turned out to be a dozen fat volumes along with a number of magazines and a syllabus to outline which chapters to read and in what order. I hope she got my point about takin' it slow, She thought. But it don't seem much like it!

 

At the moment Ranma and Ranko were sitting in a cab, on their way back to the Tendo household. Even Nodoka had had to admit that perhaps there were too many bags for Ranma to be expected to lug them all the way back to Nerima by himself, so she had arranged for a taxi to pick them up. As it was they had barely been able to fit all of the clothes and shoes they had gotten that day in the trunk, front passenger seat and back seat of the cab and leave enough room for the two teenagers. Their mother had also given them some money to pay for the trip, as well as slipping them some extra spending money like the doting mother she was.

 

“It's just some stuff from, Mom,” Ranko replied to Ranma's question. “Ya know, some books she thought we'd be interested in.”

 

Hearing that, Ranma immediately regarded the bulging bag with suspicious eyes. “Uh…You know how Mom is…Maybe you shouldn't…”

 

Ranko just shrugged in response to the other teenager's stammered cautions. “It ain't no big deal, Ranma. It's just books.”

 

“Yeah, but the stuff in the books…”

 

The redheaded martial artist shrugged again. “Like I said, it ain't no big deal. If it's too strange, we can just skip over it, right?”

 

“Yeah, I guess. But still…”

 

“Man, Ranma! Don't be such a wuss!” Ranko shook her head in disgust. “I keep telling' you, ya gotta stand up for yourself more!” When Ranma didn't say anything, the redhead shook her head again. “Anyway, if takin' the books makes Mom happy, it's the least we can do, right?”

 

Ranma thought that over. “Yeah…I guess you're right. We were away from her for so long and all. But I don't know…The stuff Mom's always talkin' about is so…weird!”

 

“Yeah, I can't argue with ya there, but not all of it is so strange. Some of the stuff she was tellin' me about while you were practicing after lunch was pretty interesting.”

 

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

 

“Well, like one of these books has some muscle training exercises that look pretty good. It's even stuff we could do while we're sittin' in class.”

 

“Yeah?” Ranma's voice brightened with interest. “That does sound pretty cool. All right, let's give it a try anyway. It can't be any worse than some of the crap we've had to do before.”

 

“You mean like Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics?” Ranko asked with a laugh.

 

“I was thinkin' more like Martial Arts Dining.”

“Then there was Martial Arts Calligraphy.”

 

“And Martial Arts Tea Ceremony.”

 

The two exchanged the various bizarre schools of martial arts they had been forced to participate in in the past for several minutes until they finally broke down in uncontrollable laughter. Eventually their laughter stilled to barely stifled chortles and the two were forced to wipe away tears from their faces. At that point Ranma asked, “By the way, where are we gonna put that bank card Mom gave you?”

 

Ranko blinked in surprise, “How did you know about that? I didn't tell you that she gave it to me yet!”

 

“Why would you have to? I was right there when she gave it to you, stupid!”

 

“No, you weren't! You were still practicin', ya idiot!”

 

Ranma opened his mouth to argue, then abruptly shut it. “I was, wasn't I? But I can see Mom givin' you the card as clear as day and tellin' you it was for us to use anytime we needed any extra money…Huh, I wonder why?”

 

The two were silent as their cab continued to make its way through the Tokyo traffic towards Nerima, thinking over this new development. Finally Ranma spoke up again, “Maybe it's some kinda-”

 

“-side effect from out separation of somethin'. They did say we-”

 

“-might experience this kinda thing for a while. I guess it-”

 

“-ain't nuthin' to worry about,” Ranko finished up before changing the topic. “Anyway, let's have a workout after dinner tonight, Ranma. I ain't had a chance to practice all day.”

 

“OK,” Ranma agreed. “Do you wanna practice with weapons, or…?”

 

“Nah, let's just do hand-to-hand.”

 

“Sounds good to me. And about the card, we could always put it in my underwear drawer. The freak would never look there and neither would Pop. It should be pretty safe.”

 

“Yeah, OK,” Ranko concurred. “But the first thing you gotta do is help me unpack all this crap when we get back.”

 

“What!? Are you kiddin' me?!”

 

“C'mon, Ranma! Be a pal!” Thus, the rest of the taxi ride to the Tendos' was occupied by Ranko and Ranma arguing back and forth.