Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The One Left Behind ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: ashez2ashes 
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Angst / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.04.2002 | Pages: 6 | Words: 3.3K | Visits: 336 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Angst / Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.04.2002 | Pages: 6 | Words: 3.3K | Visits: 336 | Status: Completed
Note: The following is an alternate universe story, so if you try to read this chapter first, you're going to be really confused.
Contact Info:
ashez2ashes@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/ashez2ashes/
-----
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2? I don't own that. Who's Ranma?
Ranma: The person everyone unfairly hates in this fic.
Ashes: Quiet you.
----
The one you left behind
Part Four
----
I guess I shouldn't complain. It was my idea to begin with. Hitching a ride had looked like a good idea at the time. We can get to Nerima faster and we know we're going the right direction. "Ukyou," I had said. "Let's get a ride! It'll save some time!" But no, fate had to beat on it's whipping boy, Ryouga. I hate fate. If fate was a person, it'd look like Genma.
I've hitched rides before. Most of the people were ok. Some were weird. Others were...disturbing. One guy kept trying to write on me with his "magical calligraphy pen" for helping him carry some crates. But that situation hadn't been that bad. It wasn't as bad as this.
"Stop looking like it's the end of the world, Jackass."
And so me and the crazy chef hitched a ride on a tractor-trailer.
I was a good sport. I could have stayed calm in any other situation other than this one. Any other truck, than this one. Why do these things happen to me? Why couldn't the truck be filled with anything else? Anything! Anything but...but...
"Wow Ryouga, I've never seen this many tampons in one place."
Arrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh!
"Can you even breathe with that close pin on your nose?"
Grrrrrrrrrr...
"You know." Ukyou grinned evilly and leaned back into the wall of the truck. "If your nose starts to bleed, we have plenty of these to take care of it."
Ahhhhhh!
"Leef meeh ehlone." Stupid evil chef. She thinks she's so cool. Just because I'm uncomfortable around girly hygiene stuff doesn't mean she's gotta rub it in. This is so embarrassing. All these tampons in the room that girls are going to buy...and take home...and...ACK!
"Uh, I think your ears are bleeding."
"Dey err nahot." I felt my ears...they were wet. Aw man! My ears ARE bleeding! Ugh, the driver needs to learn how to drive. The truck's all spinny.
"I don't think you're going to survive the trip at this rate. You should probably get out while there's still time." She yawned. "I don't want you to hurt yourself." She looked concerned for me. Uh huh. I'm not falling for that one again! She had been trying that all week. Feh, concern. Yeah, I'll get out of the truck. When they drag my dead and lifeless body away!
I pulled the clothespin off my nose and focused to get my emotions in check.
"No, I'm not going to leave so you can go into Nerima by yourself. I think I'll just sit here and bleed to death."
I put the clothes pin back on my nose.
Ukyou sighed. "Why are you even here? I have a perfectly good reason for revenge. My reasons make sense. Yours on the other hand...I think you should just step aside and let me have him. My reasons are better than yours."
"Errrr nnnahot! Genmuh and Ranmuh--" I shut my mouth.
"What? Ranma did what?"
I stared silently.
"Hmmph! Be that way! I won't ever ask you again!"
That's what she said yesterday...and the day before that...I'd rather die than tell her the truth. How would she look at me then? What would she do if she knew I was the twin brother of...HIM. She'd hate me. She'd think I was like him. She'd think I was some kind of low-life who abandons their wife...She told me it was partly her idea...ha! Yeah right. That bastard convinced her to do it. I just know it.
I don't want Ukyou to think of me like that...She already thinks I'm a stupid guy, but at least I'm a stupid guy with honor.
Not mention the whole engagement thing...I wouldn't want anyone to be engaged to someone like me. That bastard knew what he was doing! He KNEW if she still wanted to pursue the engagment I'd be waiting in the wings. I hate this! It's so unfair! Besides, she'd just end up murdering me. I'm not too keen on being stabbed to death with a sharpened okinomiyaki.
I think I'm gonna be sick. Why won't the truck stop spinning? I wish this damn thing would stop already!
The truck slammed on its brakes abruptly, throwing me and Ukyou against the back door painfully.
"Ow..."
"Sorry kids!" The driver muttered a few curse words from the front. "There's a giant pig in the middle of the road. Freaky, we must be getting near that one forest."
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Pig?! G-Giant Pig?! NOOOOO! OHMYGODSHE'SFOUNDMEAGAINI'LLNEVERBEFREE! NOOOO!
I jumped to my feet. "Erurry! Ren eeet ohverr!"
Ukyou's eyebrow twitched. "Do you REALLY need that close pin on all the time?"
Fine!
I took the clothespin off.
"Uh..." The driver snorted. "It's a little too big to run over..."
Boom!
It's coming! I'm an easy target here..Igottagetawaygottagetaway...
Boom! Boom!
"What's wrong Kastunishiki? Do you smell something?" Her voice was close...She must be walking around the truck. And I'm stuck here! Gotta stop breathing...She and the demon might hear me breathing! What if the monster pig demon hears my heart beating?! I can't stop my heart from beating!
Well I could, but I don't want to get away that badly...yet.
"Don't bother that! It's rude to sniff other people's trucks."
And it's rude to try to eat five-year old little boys, but that never stopped it before.
"Hello girly!" The truck driver was talking to ...HER. The monster's grunts could be easily heard through the truck...the damn thing's probably gonna try to eat the truck.
"I'm so sorry! He gets a little excited sometimes! Please, forgive me for getting in your way."
"That's all right. There should be more polite young people like you in the world." The traitor...I mean truck driver, laughed.
"Stop sniffing. He wouldn't be in something like that." There was a pause. "Uh, please forgive my brashness for asking, but what do you have in your truck?"
Life flashing before eyes...Ack! There she is again! Stop flashing life!
"Um...a load of toiletries for a grocery store. But eh...could you get a move on? I got a delivery to make to Nerima by five."
"Oh. Sorry again! Come on Kastunishiki!"
Boom! Boom! BoomBoomBoomboomboom!
The truck shook as Godzilla--I mean that damn pig ran around the truck and then wonderfully went off into the distance to leave me alone and that's so great and LIFE IS WONDFERFUL!
Now to settle back in a nice ride with a truck load of tamp--
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GROSS RYOUGA!"
I shouldn't have taken the clothespin out.
----
Things went pretty well after I cleaned up all the blood. Oh, and after Ukyou stopped hitting me for it. Yeah, after that it was smooth--Oh and after I regained consciousness from Ukyou hitting me.
We shouldn't be that far away from Nerima now. Japan isn't that big. At least, that's what my geography teacher always told me. He may have been lying. He always seemed slightly insane to me; always muttering about 'you cannot cross water without knowing it this' and 'it's impossible to travel that amount of distance on foot in two days that'. Feh, that stupid old man.
"Icky blood all over my shoes, stupid idiot boy..." Ukyou mumbled to herself as she tried to get a blood spot off of her shoe. Sometimes she'd look up and glare at me, but most of the time she'd mumble to herself in a crazy chef sorta way. As if I could help it!
Finally, after about ten minutes of mumbling and grumbling, she looked up.
"What is your problem anyway?"
"Problem?" I don't have a problem! Well...it's not a problem. I don't think it's a problem...Well...maybe a little problem...
Hold up.
"Which problem?"
"You know, your thing with girls. I've never seen a guy as shy as you."
Ohhhhh. _THAT_ problem.
"Shy? I'm-I'm not shy."
"Yeah right! Come on, you can tell me! Were you raised by wolves in the wilderness? Freakish lab experiment gone awry?"
Wolves? Um...She's got an imagination like mine.
"No...I just wasn't around girls much growing up. I spent most of my time training, or being lost. Oh yeah...and occasionally I went to school. It was an all boys school though... But no lab experiments."
Ukyou looked slightly disappointed. "Oh come on." She slyly scooted over to me and nudged me in the side with her elbow. "You can tell your bestest buddy Ukyou your deep, darkest secrets!"
"So you can blackmail me with them and get to Ranma first?"
Ukyou blinked. "Wow, it's like a steel trap eh?" She punched me in the head. "My okinomiyaki must have grown some brain cells."
I scooted away. She was too...close to me! Waaaay too close.
Um...wait. I'm supposed to be offended. "Whatta ya mean, GROWN brain cells?"
SCREECH!
Ukyou and I were flung to the back of the truck again.
"AAAAAAAAAaah! Damn it! Not again!"
"Hiya! Truck get out of Shampoo's way!" Something said from outside the truck. The...talking shampoo bottle? Made some other crashes before the sound disappeared.
"What the hell is going on?" I stood up slowly. My head was quickly clearing. Beside me, Ukyou was recovering by cussing a lot. The truck sat slightly lopsided...
"Neat! Was that a purple grisly bear? Wow...uh anyways, I'm sorry kids but I'm stuck. Ya gonna have to get another ride..."
Oh well, wandering around in the wilderness is better than getting your head slammed against the side of a truck over and over.
"Oh, and can you call me a tow? My radio isn't workin."
I stood up. "Why?"
The truck driver muttered something that sounded like, 'spilled soft drink and sat on the cell', and walked out of the truck to investigate the damage done by the...purple grisly bear?
Makes more sense than a talking shampoo bottle...
Ukyou agreed to leave too, so we gathered up our stuff and got out of the truck. I stayed close to the evil chef, just in case she tried to ditch me. I'm sure she's thinking about it. Then some other stuff happened, and then we eventually came to a rundown house...almost a shack really...
Ukyou knocked on the door. "Excuse me, can we use your phone?"
These people probably don't have a phone...but what the hell.
Seconds later a dark haired guy walked out of the shack. His clothes were blue and he was carrying a broom...you know, the kind that you scrub floors with. Or is that a mob? Can mops scrub? Err...never mind. What's he doing with a broom? Sweeping is a women's job. Unless the woman tells you to do it, then it's your job.
"What was that, Miss? Sorry, I was out back."
"I just wanted to know if we could use your phone." Ukyou pointed back to the way we came. "A truck got stuck in the mud back by the road and we told the driver we'd call a tow." Ukyou smiled sheepishly. "If you have a phone..."
"Oh, ya we got one." That broom carrying bastard...I mean guy, smiled back. "Just let me go get it. I'll be right back."
The broom guy walked back into the house.
Two minutes later...
"What are you doing here stranger?" The broom guy looked at us like we had never been here. He must have forgotten. I guess, I've done that before...Maybe he has a lot on his mind...
"Remember?" I raised an eyebrow. "You said we could use your phone?"
"Oh, ok. Let me go get it."
He disappeared.
Two minutes later...
"What are you doing here stranger?"
......REALLY FORGETFUL.
Ukyou's eyebrow twitched. "Hello? Your phone? You said you were going to go get it?"
"Oh! I'm sorry. One minute."
Two minutes later...
"What's your business here?"
"WE WANNA BORROW YOUR PHONE!" Busy my ass! HE HAS NOTHING GOING ON IN HIS MIND!
"Okay! There's no reason to shout!" The broom guy glared at me, as if _I_ was the stupid one, and walked back into his house--
and came back two minutes later.
"Hello, how may I help--"
Ukyou screamed. "Is this some kind of joke?!" She unsheathed her spatula like she was going to beat him to death with it. Which I'm all for. Ukyou can be cool sometimes. "If you won't let us use your phone just say so!"
"There's no reason to be rude!" The brain dead broom guy glared. "Hold on just a minute and I will retrieve it."
And then he left...again...I think I'm gonna murder him.
Two minutes later...
"Excuse me, why are you on my property?"
Yes, I think I will kill him.
"You...were....going...to get...phone..." Must resist urge to kill...
"Um...yeah." The broom guy glanced at me nervously and turned toward Ukyou, as if she was more sane than me. Feh. "What's his problem?"
"He....might...be....angry..."
"Well ok. What did you want?"
Ukyou was glowing. "We...want..."
"--phone....you...give us..."
"...phone. Now."
"Uh...okay.." Broom guy looked back and forth between Ukyou and me. What the hell is wrong with him?!
And...then Broom Boy went bye bye for awhile again...
Two freakin minutes later...
"Hello stranger. How can I help you?"
It was my turn to snap. "DAMN IT! NOT AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
"Excuse me! I've never met you before and you insult me?!"
"YOU JUST TALKED TO US!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's not fair! JUST ONE LITTLE PHONE CALL! Is that so much to ask?! Why doesn't anything ever go right for me?! I'll never get to Nerima! I'll be stuck here forever, in an endless time loop asking for the phone!
IT'S NOT FAIR!
"We just wanna use the phooooooooone." I collapsed on the ground and buried my head in my hands.
"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Ukyou got in his face. "I'M GOING IN THERE. I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR PHONE. I'M GONNA USE IT TO MAKE ONE DAMN CALL. AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT! OK?!"
The broom guy looked very scared. "Yes ma'am."
Ukyou stomped in the room, stepping on an old man laying on a futon in the process. Some loud sounds happened, maybe there was lightening too, I dunno. Ukyou IS a girl, but I don't think she can control lightening. Finally, Ukyou stomped back out, grabbed my hand, and jerked me away.
"And stop crying, Ryouga."
"I AM NOT--"
She glared.
"Yes ma'am."
----
Giant animals ran around us in the forest. BIG animals. As in, fight Godzilla in Tokyo Bay giant animals. This has to be where the pig is from! And here I had thought it was some kind of alien pig or toxic waste mutant.
"Where are we?" Ukyou looked around and ducked as a large bird swooped down low.
"The land that time forgot?"
Ukyou hit me in the head with her spatula. "You got me lost again! How could I let you get me into this?"
"Actually...you got mad at the broom guy and walked away without paying attention to where you were going..." I glanced down at my hand, and noticed she was still holding it. "C-can I have my hand back now?"
Ukyou dropped my hand in surprise. "Oh."
Silence reigned supreme for a few awkward minutes while crazy chef girl read the map. Finally, she looked up. "This isn't on the map."
"No shit."
She glared. "Don't try to blame this all on me. As if YOU'VE never gotten us lost before."
"I'm not trying to blame it on you." Even if it is her fault. "I blame it on the uh...shampooed purple grisly bear thing... What was that?"
Ukyou folded up the map and put it in her pocket. "I have no idea. I never thought there were this many crazy people in rural Japan. I can't wait to get to Nerima where normal people are."
"Ranma's normal?"
"At least he's not a purple grisly bear...not since I last saw him anyways."
"Heh, I've never met him." Oops! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
Ukyou tripped and fall on her face. She quickly recovered and looked at me with surprise. "YOU'VE NEVER MET HIM?!"
"Uh...well I guess I've met him, but I don't think it counts uh..um..."
Daaaaaaaamn it! Must change the subject! Can't let her find out! Gotta find a distraction!
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
AHHHHHHHH! NOT THAT DISTRACTION!
So I did anything any manly man woulda done--
I ran away.
"Ryouga! Where are you going?"
"Giant pig coming! Run away!"
"Wah?" Ukyou looked behind her just in time to see the pig rampaging, or walking as the owner thinks of it, toward her. She had just enough time to throw herself off the path. At the same time I threw myself into the opposite direction.
Which happened to be the edge of the cliff.
I had a fleeting image of a giant porker and a girl riding on it, before I was knocked senseless. Which means, I hit the ground really hard 'cause I didn't have much sense to begin with...
----
When I woke up Ukyou was nowhere to be seen, and the only thing left of the pig was its track indentions on the ground.
Which means I'm lost, alone, and in a freakish forest with giant animals that will probably try to eat me sooner or later.
I'm sure I can blame this on Ranma somehow...
----
9 days later...I came to the end of the forest.
"Finally..." I collapsed on the ground, next to a sign. "I didn't think I would ever get out of there..."
Damn, Ukyou! She left me behind! Everyone leaves me behind!
I frowned.
It's not like we were friends or anything. Yeah, who cares about the crazy chef? I hope she got out of the forest ok...Feh! Who cares if she got out of the forest? I don't. I don't care. I'm better off by myself...Sure I'm not ever going to get where I'm going. I won't have to hear her yelling at me or trying to get me to tell her about my past...I'm better off.
Still...I hate being left behind.
A man walked by me.
Huh, I must have reached some kind of civilization. I wonder where I am?
I stopped the stranger. "Excuse me, but where am I?"
The man raised an eyebrow and pointed to the sign I was leaning against.
I looked behind me...
"Welcome to...Nerima?"
....
"YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SS!"
----
Contact Info:
ashez2ashes@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/ashez2ashes/
Hmm...did Ukyou leave Ryouga, or was it vice versa? ^_- Kudos to everyone who caught all of the appearances. As always C&C is greatly needed, and is the only way I'll write more. Please, help my small little ego.
As for the next chapter: expect a certain loud mouth pigtailed boy to come onto the scene...
Ranma: Finally! Yeah! ...Uh, I don't mean that I'M the loud mouthed...damn it!
Ashes: ^_^ Quiet you.
Contact Info:
ashez2ashes@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/ashez2ashes/
-----
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2? I don't own that. Who's Ranma?
Ranma: The person everyone unfairly hates in this fic.
Ashes: Quiet you.
----
The one you left behind
Part Four
----
I guess I shouldn't complain. It was my idea to begin with. Hitching a ride had looked like a good idea at the time. We can get to Nerima faster and we know we're going the right direction. "Ukyou," I had said. "Let's get a ride! It'll save some time!" But no, fate had to beat on it's whipping boy, Ryouga. I hate fate. If fate was a person, it'd look like Genma.
I've hitched rides before. Most of the people were ok. Some were weird. Others were...disturbing. One guy kept trying to write on me with his "magical calligraphy pen" for helping him carry some crates. But that situation hadn't been that bad. It wasn't as bad as this.
"Stop looking like it's the end of the world, Jackass."
And so me and the crazy chef hitched a ride on a tractor-trailer.
I was a good sport. I could have stayed calm in any other situation other than this one. Any other truck, than this one. Why do these things happen to me? Why couldn't the truck be filled with anything else? Anything! Anything but...but...
"Wow Ryouga, I've never seen this many tampons in one place."
Arrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh!
"Can you even breathe with that close pin on your nose?"
Grrrrrrrrrr...
"You know." Ukyou grinned evilly and leaned back into the wall of the truck. "If your nose starts to bleed, we have plenty of these to take care of it."
Ahhhhhh!
"Leef meeh ehlone." Stupid evil chef. She thinks she's so cool. Just because I'm uncomfortable around girly hygiene stuff doesn't mean she's gotta rub it in. This is so embarrassing. All these tampons in the room that girls are going to buy...and take home...and...ACK!
"Uh, I think your ears are bleeding."
"Dey err nahot." I felt my ears...they were wet. Aw man! My ears ARE bleeding! Ugh, the driver needs to learn how to drive. The truck's all spinny.
"I don't think you're going to survive the trip at this rate. You should probably get out while there's still time." She yawned. "I don't want you to hurt yourself." She looked concerned for me. Uh huh. I'm not falling for that one again! She had been trying that all week. Feh, concern. Yeah, I'll get out of the truck. When they drag my dead and lifeless body away!
I pulled the clothespin off my nose and focused to get my emotions in check.
"No, I'm not going to leave so you can go into Nerima by yourself. I think I'll just sit here and bleed to death."
I put the clothes pin back on my nose.
Ukyou sighed. "Why are you even here? I have a perfectly good reason for revenge. My reasons make sense. Yours on the other hand...I think you should just step aside and let me have him. My reasons are better than yours."
"Errrr nnnahot! Genmuh and Ranmuh--" I shut my mouth.
"What? Ranma did what?"
I stared silently.
"Hmmph! Be that way! I won't ever ask you again!"
That's what she said yesterday...and the day before that...I'd rather die than tell her the truth. How would she look at me then? What would she do if she knew I was the twin brother of...HIM. She'd hate me. She'd think I was like him. She'd think I was some kind of low-life who abandons their wife...She told me it was partly her idea...ha! Yeah right. That bastard convinced her to do it. I just know it.
I don't want Ukyou to think of me like that...She already thinks I'm a stupid guy, but at least I'm a stupid guy with honor.
Not mention the whole engagement thing...I wouldn't want anyone to be engaged to someone like me. That bastard knew what he was doing! He KNEW if she still wanted to pursue the engagment I'd be waiting in the wings. I hate this! It's so unfair! Besides, she'd just end up murdering me. I'm not too keen on being stabbed to death with a sharpened okinomiyaki.
I think I'm gonna be sick. Why won't the truck stop spinning? I wish this damn thing would stop already!
The truck slammed on its brakes abruptly, throwing me and Ukyou against the back door painfully.
"Ow..."
"Sorry kids!" The driver muttered a few curse words from the front. "There's a giant pig in the middle of the road. Freaky, we must be getting near that one forest."
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Pig?! G-Giant Pig?! NOOOOO! OHMYGODSHE'SFOUNDMEAGAINI'LLNEVERBEFREE! NOOOO!
I jumped to my feet. "Erurry! Ren eeet ohverr!"
Ukyou's eyebrow twitched. "Do you REALLY need that close pin on all the time?"
Fine!
I took the clothespin off.
"Uh..." The driver snorted. "It's a little too big to run over..."
Boom!
It's coming! I'm an easy target here..Igottagetawaygottagetaway...
Boom! Boom!
"What's wrong Kastunishiki? Do you smell something?" Her voice was close...She must be walking around the truck. And I'm stuck here! Gotta stop breathing...She and the demon might hear me breathing! What if the monster pig demon hears my heart beating?! I can't stop my heart from beating!
Well I could, but I don't want to get away that badly...yet.
"Don't bother that! It's rude to sniff other people's trucks."
And it's rude to try to eat five-year old little boys, but that never stopped it before.
"Hello girly!" The truck driver was talking to ...HER. The monster's grunts could be easily heard through the truck...the damn thing's probably gonna try to eat the truck.
"I'm so sorry! He gets a little excited sometimes! Please, forgive me for getting in your way."
"That's all right. There should be more polite young people like you in the world." The traitor...I mean truck driver, laughed.
"Stop sniffing. He wouldn't be in something like that." There was a pause. "Uh, please forgive my brashness for asking, but what do you have in your truck?"
Life flashing before eyes...Ack! There she is again! Stop flashing life!
"Um...a load of toiletries for a grocery store. But eh...could you get a move on? I got a delivery to make to Nerima by five."
"Oh. Sorry again! Come on Kastunishiki!"
Boom! Boom! BoomBoomBoomboomboom!
The truck shook as Godzilla--I mean that damn pig ran around the truck and then wonderfully went off into the distance to leave me alone and that's so great and LIFE IS WONDFERFUL!
Now to settle back in a nice ride with a truck load of tamp--
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GROSS RYOUGA!"
I shouldn't have taken the clothespin out.
----
Things went pretty well after I cleaned up all the blood. Oh, and after Ukyou stopped hitting me for it. Yeah, after that it was smooth--Oh and after I regained consciousness from Ukyou hitting me.
We shouldn't be that far away from Nerima now. Japan isn't that big. At least, that's what my geography teacher always told me. He may have been lying. He always seemed slightly insane to me; always muttering about 'you cannot cross water without knowing it this' and 'it's impossible to travel that amount of distance on foot in two days that'. Feh, that stupid old man.
"Icky blood all over my shoes, stupid idiot boy..." Ukyou mumbled to herself as she tried to get a blood spot off of her shoe. Sometimes she'd look up and glare at me, but most of the time she'd mumble to herself in a crazy chef sorta way. As if I could help it!
Finally, after about ten minutes of mumbling and grumbling, she looked up.
"What is your problem anyway?"
"Problem?" I don't have a problem! Well...it's not a problem. I don't think it's a problem...Well...maybe a little problem...
Hold up.
"Which problem?"
"You know, your thing with girls. I've never seen a guy as shy as you."
Ohhhhh. _THAT_ problem.
"Shy? I'm-I'm not shy."
"Yeah right! Come on, you can tell me! Were you raised by wolves in the wilderness? Freakish lab experiment gone awry?"
Wolves? Um...She's got an imagination like mine.
"No...I just wasn't around girls much growing up. I spent most of my time training, or being lost. Oh yeah...and occasionally I went to school. It was an all boys school though... But no lab experiments."
Ukyou looked slightly disappointed. "Oh come on." She slyly scooted over to me and nudged me in the side with her elbow. "You can tell your bestest buddy Ukyou your deep, darkest secrets!"
"So you can blackmail me with them and get to Ranma first?"
Ukyou blinked. "Wow, it's like a steel trap eh?" She punched me in the head. "My okinomiyaki must have grown some brain cells."
I scooted away. She was too...close to me! Waaaay too close.
Um...wait. I'm supposed to be offended. "Whatta ya mean, GROWN brain cells?"
SCREECH!
Ukyou and I were flung to the back of the truck again.
"AAAAAAAAAaah! Damn it! Not again!"
"Hiya! Truck get out of Shampoo's way!" Something said from outside the truck. The...talking shampoo bottle? Made some other crashes before the sound disappeared.
"What the hell is going on?" I stood up slowly. My head was quickly clearing. Beside me, Ukyou was recovering by cussing a lot. The truck sat slightly lopsided...
"Neat! Was that a purple grisly bear? Wow...uh anyways, I'm sorry kids but I'm stuck. Ya gonna have to get another ride..."
Oh well, wandering around in the wilderness is better than getting your head slammed against the side of a truck over and over.
"Oh, and can you call me a tow? My radio isn't workin."
I stood up. "Why?"
The truck driver muttered something that sounded like, 'spilled soft drink and sat on the cell', and walked out of the truck to investigate the damage done by the...purple grisly bear?
Makes more sense than a talking shampoo bottle...
Ukyou agreed to leave too, so we gathered up our stuff and got out of the truck. I stayed close to the evil chef, just in case she tried to ditch me. I'm sure she's thinking about it. Then some other stuff happened, and then we eventually came to a rundown house...almost a shack really...
Ukyou knocked on the door. "Excuse me, can we use your phone?"
These people probably don't have a phone...but what the hell.
Seconds later a dark haired guy walked out of the shack. His clothes were blue and he was carrying a broom...you know, the kind that you scrub floors with. Or is that a mob? Can mops scrub? Err...never mind. What's he doing with a broom? Sweeping is a women's job. Unless the woman tells you to do it, then it's your job.
"What was that, Miss? Sorry, I was out back."
"I just wanted to know if we could use your phone." Ukyou pointed back to the way we came. "A truck got stuck in the mud back by the road and we told the driver we'd call a tow." Ukyou smiled sheepishly. "If you have a phone..."
"Oh, ya we got one." That broom carrying bastard...I mean guy, smiled back. "Just let me go get it. I'll be right back."
The broom guy walked back into the house.
Two minutes later...
"What are you doing here stranger?" The broom guy looked at us like we had never been here. He must have forgotten. I guess, I've done that before...Maybe he has a lot on his mind...
"Remember?" I raised an eyebrow. "You said we could use your phone?"
"Oh, ok. Let me go get it."
He disappeared.
Two minutes later...
"What are you doing here stranger?"
......REALLY FORGETFUL.
Ukyou's eyebrow twitched. "Hello? Your phone? You said you were going to go get it?"
"Oh! I'm sorry. One minute."
Two minutes later...
"What's your business here?"
"WE WANNA BORROW YOUR PHONE!" Busy my ass! HE HAS NOTHING GOING ON IN HIS MIND!
"Okay! There's no reason to shout!" The broom guy glared at me, as if _I_ was the stupid one, and walked back into his house--
and came back two minutes later.
"Hello, how may I help--"
Ukyou screamed. "Is this some kind of joke?!" She unsheathed her spatula like she was going to beat him to death with it. Which I'm all for. Ukyou can be cool sometimes. "If you won't let us use your phone just say so!"
"There's no reason to be rude!" The brain dead broom guy glared. "Hold on just a minute and I will retrieve it."
And then he left...again...I think I'm gonna murder him.
Two minutes later...
"Excuse me, why are you on my property?"
Yes, I think I will kill him.
"You...were....going...to get...phone..." Must resist urge to kill...
"Um...yeah." The broom guy glanced at me nervously and turned toward Ukyou, as if she was more sane than me. Feh. "What's his problem?"
"He....might...be....angry..."
"Well ok. What did you want?"
Ukyou was glowing. "We...want..."
"--phone....you...give us..."
"...phone. Now."
"Uh...okay.." Broom guy looked back and forth between Ukyou and me. What the hell is wrong with him?!
And...then Broom Boy went bye bye for awhile again...
Two freakin minutes later...
"Hello stranger. How can I help you?"
It was my turn to snap. "DAMN IT! NOT AGAIN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
"Excuse me! I've never met you before and you insult me?!"
"YOU JUST TALKED TO US!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's not fair! JUST ONE LITTLE PHONE CALL! Is that so much to ask?! Why doesn't anything ever go right for me?! I'll never get to Nerima! I'll be stuck here forever, in an endless time loop asking for the phone!
IT'S NOT FAIR!
"We just wanna use the phooooooooone." I collapsed on the ground and buried my head in my hands.
"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Ukyou got in his face. "I'M GOING IN THERE. I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR PHONE. I'M GONNA USE IT TO MAKE ONE DAMN CALL. AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT! OK?!"
The broom guy looked very scared. "Yes ma'am."
Ukyou stomped in the room, stepping on an old man laying on a futon in the process. Some loud sounds happened, maybe there was lightening too, I dunno. Ukyou IS a girl, but I don't think she can control lightening. Finally, Ukyou stomped back out, grabbed my hand, and jerked me away.
"And stop crying, Ryouga."
"I AM NOT--"
She glared.
"Yes ma'am."
----
Giant animals ran around us in the forest. BIG animals. As in, fight Godzilla in Tokyo Bay giant animals. This has to be where the pig is from! And here I had thought it was some kind of alien pig or toxic waste mutant.
"Where are we?" Ukyou looked around and ducked as a large bird swooped down low.
"The land that time forgot?"
Ukyou hit me in the head with her spatula. "You got me lost again! How could I let you get me into this?"
"Actually...you got mad at the broom guy and walked away without paying attention to where you were going..." I glanced down at my hand, and noticed she was still holding it. "C-can I have my hand back now?"
Ukyou dropped my hand in surprise. "Oh."
Silence reigned supreme for a few awkward minutes while crazy chef girl read the map. Finally, she looked up. "This isn't on the map."
"No shit."
She glared. "Don't try to blame this all on me. As if YOU'VE never gotten us lost before."
"I'm not trying to blame it on you." Even if it is her fault. "I blame it on the uh...shampooed purple grisly bear thing... What was that?"
Ukyou folded up the map and put it in her pocket. "I have no idea. I never thought there were this many crazy people in rural Japan. I can't wait to get to Nerima where normal people are."
"Ranma's normal?"
"At least he's not a purple grisly bear...not since I last saw him anyways."
"Heh, I've never met him." Oops! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
Ukyou tripped and fall on her face. She quickly recovered and looked at me with surprise. "YOU'VE NEVER MET HIM?!"
"Uh...well I guess I've met him, but I don't think it counts uh..um..."
Daaaaaaaamn it! Must change the subject! Can't let her find out! Gotta find a distraction!
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
AHHHHHHHH! NOT THAT DISTRACTION!
So I did anything any manly man woulda done--
I ran away.
"Ryouga! Where are you going?"
"Giant pig coming! Run away!"
"Wah?" Ukyou looked behind her just in time to see the pig rampaging, or walking as the owner thinks of it, toward her. She had just enough time to throw herself off the path. At the same time I threw myself into the opposite direction.
Which happened to be the edge of the cliff.
I had a fleeting image of a giant porker and a girl riding on it, before I was knocked senseless. Which means, I hit the ground really hard 'cause I didn't have much sense to begin with...
----
When I woke up Ukyou was nowhere to be seen, and the only thing left of the pig was its track indentions on the ground.
Which means I'm lost, alone, and in a freakish forest with giant animals that will probably try to eat me sooner or later.
I'm sure I can blame this on Ranma somehow...
----
9 days later...I came to the end of the forest.
"Finally..." I collapsed on the ground, next to a sign. "I didn't think I would ever get out of there..."
Damn, Ukyou! She left me behind! Everyone leaves me behind!
I frowned.
It's not like we were friends or anything. Yeah, who cares about the crazy chef? I hope she got out of the forest ok...Feh! Who cares if she got out of the forest? I don't. I don't care. I'm better off by myself...Sure I'm not ever going to get where I'm going. I won't have to hear her yelling at me or trying to get me to tell her about my past...I'm better off.
Still...I hate being left behind.
A man walked by me.
Huh, I must have reached some kind of civilization. I wonder where I am?
I stopped the stranger. "Excuse me, but where am I?"
The man raised an eyebrow and pointed to the sign I was leaning against.
I looked behind me...
"Welcome to...Nerima?"
....
"YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SS!"
----
Contact Info:
ashez2ashes@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/ashez2ashes/
Hmm...did Ukyou leave Ryouga, or was it vice versa? ^_- Kudos to everyone who caught all of the appearances. As always C&C is greatly needed, and is the only way I'll write more. Please, help my small little ego.
As for the next chapter: expect a certain loud mouth pigtailed boy to come onto the scene...
Ranma: Finally! Yeah! ...Uh, I don't mean that I'M the loud mouthed...damn it!
Ashes: ^_^ Quiet you.