Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The Second Charlotte Cup ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Imported From: RAAC
"David A. Tatum" <desaix@sysnet.net>


The Second Charlotte Cup
by David A. Tatum

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 obviously does not belong to me, but I do ask its
creator, Rumiko Takahashi, and anyone else who owns the copyright on it,
that they not sue me for what I feel is simple tribute to the fabulous
world they have created. If you do decide to sue me, realize I'm a third
year college student who is a journalism major and a creative writing
minor- so I'm a broke kid with no real prospects for employment....

Author's Notes (revised for RAAC release): Though I've written a few
fanfics, this is the first one I've posted to the R.A.A.C. I decided to
post it because its the first time I've written one that was not part of a
continuum of stories I'm working on that I've nicknamed 'The Big Guy' until
I come up with a better title. It is completely seperate from 'The Big
Guy,' though it does contain a new character who's NAME is in that
continuum. That is because that character, Desaix, is my trademark
character, and I put someone using his name in EVERY story I write, both
fanfiction and other types of fiction.
This story was written because my girlfriend wanted me to put a certain
character (I named Buriko Bakamoto) in this story. She really helped out a
lot in the writing of it, even to the point of saying 'No more dates until
you finish that story' less than halfway through it. Any problems you have
with that character... I'm sorry!!!
Also, this story still needs some revisions- I know that. However,
while I had lots of fun writing this, it burned me out for a little while. I
doubt I could revise this thing for quite some time- and so I decided to
send it out rather than wait the several months that it would take to get me
in the mood to correct it. I might send out a revised edition eventually,
but not for quite some time, I don't think.

Chronological Notes (kept separate for those people who NEVER read author's
notes): This story takes place following the last manga. None of the
event which have occured in my other fanfics have taken place, however (at
least, not in any that I have written).

On with the story...
------------------------------

For those of you who skipped the Author's notes, this is not the 'Big Guy'
I keep talking about in my other fanfics. Some original characters may
have similar names with stories which fall into that continuum, but this is
a completely separate story. Now on to the real fanfic.

* * * * *

Ranma and Akane were walking to school, side by side for once. Ever since
the failed wedding a few weeks beforehand, which they had never spoken of,
they had had an unspoken agreement to be somewhat less... violent... when
dealing with each other. That didn't stop the bickering, but it did pull
some of the nastier punches and reduce some of the more random insults.

That Ranma wasn't walking on the fence was not a surprise anymore to Akane.
He started walking beside her in the days following the wedding, and now,
two weeks later, she was used to feeling his presence only a step behind
her on her right.

What was a surprise was that Ranma just grabbed her up and spun around to
place himself between her and something coming straight at them at high
speed.

"Panty-thief alert!" Ranma shouted before Akane could get angry. Keeping
her away from Happosai was about the only excuse Akane would accept which
would keep Ranma from a pounding for grabbing her like that. Sure enough,
a three-foot tall man with a bra strapped to his head was bouncing there
way. However, he just seemed to ignore Ranma and run away, as if he, the
most confident martial artist ever, the greatest master the Founding School
of Anything Goes Martial Arts had ever produced, was frightened to death of
something. Ranma blinked as the ancient troll-like being flew over Akane
and himself. Ranma blinked.

"What's with Happosai?" Akane asked, curious.

Ranma frowned. "I dunno. Normally, he'd stop by for a quick feel or
something..." Before, Ranma might've continued this with a random insult
to Akane about not understanding why he would even want to get a quick feel
from someone like Akane, but his new unspoken agreement with her saved him
from a massive pounding, allowing him to continue with "but he seemed in a
hurry for some reason. In fact, he seemed almost... scared of something."
Ranma was a little concerned that maybe Pantyhose Tarou had returned,
seeking vengeance on Happosai again, and that half of Nerima would be
destroyed (again).

His thoughts on that subject, however, were quickly interrupted by the
sound of a very cute, nasally high-pitched voice shouting "HAPPY-CHAN!!!
WHERE ARE YOU! HAPPY-CHAN! COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE!" The
voice was followed by a young woman, about seventeen years old or so,
dressed in a very revealing leather ensemble consisting of VERY tight
smooth black shorts and a just as tight smooth black... top. Ranma
blinked, and quickly got a nose bleed, turning his head to look away from
the woman so as to avoid Akane's wrath (a pitifully unsuccessful attempt,
as Akane's Mallet of Ki showed up in an instant and smashed Ranma flat
right away, with the shout of 'Get your mind out of the gutter, you
pervert!'). The woman was followed by a similarly aged young man dressed
in the robes of a shinto priest, who had, tied onto a walking staff,
similar such robes designed for a female, who was desperately trying to
keep pace with her. He didn't look like a foreigner, but he also didn't
quite look fully Japanese either- the eyes were very Japanese, but the
facial hair and the nose looked... odd. The two of them stopped before a
surprised Akane and a slowly recovering Ranma, the young man panting in
exhaustion.

"Can you calm down for a second?" the young priest asked the woman
desperately before turning to Ranma and Akane. "Pardon me, Sir, Madam, I
am Ken Desaix and this lady is Buriko Bakamoto-" The leather-clad girl
smacked him on the back of the head. Desaix grimaced, and looked
apologetic as he continued "Excuse me, this lady is B.B., and we are from
the shinto temple at Koshindo. I humbly ask your assistance in our quest
to locate a Master Happosai, who we followed this far. He is about three
foot tall, essentially bald, and is very ancient." Desaix frowned. "Last
I saw him, he was wearing what appeared to be a bra on his head."

Akane blinked, and looked from the woman to the man. Ranma blinked and
looked from the man to the woman. Then they both pointed in the direction
that Happosai bounded off to.

"Thank you very much," Desaix said through gritted teeth as B.B. started
running off in the direction that they pointed before running off in
pursuit, sighing as he went. B.B. called out "HAPPY-CHAN! COME BACK
HAPPY-CHAN! I SO MUCH WANT TO LOVE YOU!"

That last phrase, said as she and Desaix disappeared around another corner,
caused both Ranma and Akane to facefault. After he recovered, Ranma turned
to Akane, a strange expression on his face.

"You know," he said, scratching the back of his head where his pigtail was
attached to his head, "I have the wierdest feeling that we haven't seen the
last of those two."

* * * * *

"Ranma," Akane was saying, "If you don't eat this stir-fry I made for you,
I'll-" A loud knock on the door interrupted her threat.

"Uh, I'll get it!" Ranma volunteered, leaping up before anyone else could
respond.

"RANMA, YOU STILL HAVE TO EAT MY STIR FRY!" Akane shouted after him. He
smirked as he ran to the door, glad for this at least temporary reprieve
from the death sentence Akane had issued.

He opened the door, and a female blur (which he first thought was Shampoo
with dyed black hair) burst past him, and started bouncing between the
cracks and crevices of the Tendo Dojo, calling out "HAPPY-CHAN, WHERE ARE
YOU!?" Ken Desaix entered behind the blur, and began what seemed to be a
prepared speech.

"Hello, sir, I am Ken Desaix, and the lady who just burst past you was...
say, didn't we already come across you earlier today?"

Akane walked in, holding a plate of some noxious murky brown liquid
substance filled with things which looked like crushed eggshells, wood
chips, and vegitables glued together in clumps with what looked like melted
plastic packaging. "Ranma, who is it at the door... Oh, hello, Mr... what
was your name again?"

"Desaix. Ken Desaix, but most people either call me Dez or Desaix. And
you are?"
The female blur which was almost certainly B.B. buzzed in front of him, but
he didn't blink.

"Hello, my name is Akane Tendo, and this is my fia... er, and this is Ranma
Saotome, who's staying here with our family.

"I take it that you failed to find Happosai, eh?" Ranma asked, after
briefly glancing at Akane strangely.

"That is correct. In fact," Desaix continued without pause as what was
now definately B.B., still dressed in her leather outfit, started picking
up random pieces of furniture to look behind them. "We have come here
because we completely lost his trail. I am sorry if we are intruding, but
when the trail ran cold we consulted the restraunts which we had followed
him to, and he always sent the bill to this dojo. We assumed that he lived
or at least worked he-" He hadn't even flinched when B.B. started picking
him up to look behind, under, and around him, but he stuttered a bit when
she dropped him hard to the ground. "uh, here, and so came to see if we
could find a trail again." Kasumi started to walk into the room to see
what was going on.

"Oh, my," Kasumi cried as B.B. started picking her up indelicately. Desaix
sighed.

"Oh, geez, I guess I'd better calm her down after all. Have you got any
cold water?"

Ranma and Akane both blinked. Kasumi, not quite as undisturbed by B.B.
picking her up as Desaix was but still quite unflappable, called from
mid-air "I believe you'll find a fire-emergency bucket right next to the
door," before B.B. dropped her on her butt as well. Desaix walked over and
grabbed it, while B.B. sped over and picked up Ranma to survey the area
under and around him. Before Akane or Ranma could do anything, the water
went flying.

"Oh, my!" B.B. said in a very Kasumi-like voice as she gently set
Ranma-chan down. "My deepest apologies!" She set her eyes downcast and
walked over slowly and respectfully to stand beside and a little behind
Desaix. Desaix, meanwhile, was staring aghast at Ranma-chan. Akane was
staring at the whole scene, a little dumbfounded. Kasumi was staring at
the floor intently, as she had noticed some dust rise when she hit the
ground.

"I never knew that there were others cursed by the Jusenkyo springs!"
Desaix broke in. "Let me guess, the Spring of Drowned Girl?" Ranma-chan
nodded slowly. Desaix smiled. "Well, at least you can talk in your form.
Buriko, here, fell... er, rolled into the Spring of Drowned Holy Woman, and
I myself fell into the Spring of Drowned Raven." Desaix sighed. "I guess
I'm the only one unlucky enough to to get a curse where I can't say
anything when its active, huh?"

Ranma-chan blinked. "Uh, no, actually. You landed dead center in perhaps
the largest concentration of Jusenkyo-cursed people ever, and most of us
can't talk when cursed. But, um, Spring of Drowned Holy Woman? And I
hadn't heard of that one..."

Desaix sighed. "So, there are others? I'll want to ask you about them
sometime, but right now I suppose I should tell you who we are and what we
are doing here. Is there somewhere that we can sit down, though? My legs
ache- I've been running non-stop for the past three days..."

"Oh, certainly," Kasumi said. "Follow me. Would any of you like some
tea?" She started to lead them to the patio, sitting them all around the
dining table facing the koi pond. A panda was sleeping in the sun.

"Um..." Desaix hesitated. Buriko nudged him. He smiled. "Yes, please.
Buriko would like some too, I believe. But, er, leave the teapot in the
kitchen."

Kasumi blinked at that request, but nodded and left. Buriko looked down at
herself and blushed as a brisk wind blew into the room, and whispered
something to Desaix. He nodded, and detached the robes from his walking
stick, handing them to her. In a flash, she was dressed up as a shinto
priest, but she still was blushing. Ranma-chan and Akane watched this,
somewhat mystified.

"Um, so why are you after Happosai, anyway?" Ranma-chan began. "Most
shinto priests who search for Happosai want to exorcise the demons that
reside in him, and if that is what you are trying to do I'm afraid to say
that it hasn't ever worked before, and I doubt it will work now..."

A very strained and saddened expression appeared on Desaix's face. "Not
exactly," he sighed. "I should begin by explaining a little bit about
ourselves, I suppose. Hmm, where to begin. Buriko, here, began her tenure
with our temple in unusual fashion. I was walking around the village of
Koshindo one rainy day- I used to like to walk in the rain- and I found
this crying young woman who told me her name was Buriko Bakamoto. I felt
very sorry for the poor girl, even though she never said what she was
crying about, and took her with me back to the temple. She turned out to
be a very caring woman with a strong sense of virtue, and found a home in
our temple as a quasi-priestess, even though she hadn't then- and still
hasn't- participated in any of the ceremonies in order to nor has she begun
the process of officially joining the priesthood." Kasumi walked in with
five filled teacups on a silver tray, and set it on the center of the
table. Everyone grabbed a cup and Desaix took a sip of tea, and stared at
it, smiling, before he continued. "It was a pot of hot tea that turned
that seemingly innocent woman into... well... into what could best be
called a temple prostitute. See, one day, I was bringing her lunch when
she was studying some of our books- our temple has a remarkable library, by
the way- and stumbled when a six inch long centipede ran over my foot. A
filled teapot I had on the tray went flying, and spilled its contents on
top of Buriko. Buriko, the priestess, became Buriko, the temple
prostitute..." Desaix paused and frowned, remembering that conversation.

"Oh, Buriko," He had said, "I'm so sorry. I'll go get a towel to help you
clean up..."

"You know," she had replied, "I really prefer B.B. Now, forget that towel.
How much money do you have?" She started altering her clothing as much as
she could without destroying it or completely removing it to make herself
look as seductive as she could.

"How much money do I have? Huh? Why, Buri- I mean, B.B.?"

B.B. started speaking in a cute voice. "What? You don't want to sleep
with me? It'll cost you, but I promise you, I'm worth it!"

"Buriko?! What's come over you?!"

"Oh, I was cursed at some place called 'Jusenkyo.' Now, when I'm hit by
hot water, my personality changes one way, and when hit with cold, it
becomes another. Now, about my pricing system, Kisses are cheap, they only
cost 1000 yen each. Now, the further you want to go, the more you need to
pay...."

Desaix was called back to the present by a light thwap on the back of his
head by Buriko. "Ahem, yes, she became the temple prositute. Half the
time, she was a priestess, and the other half, she was a prostitute. While
a prostitute, she made a lot of money, but when her virtuous side showed
its face, she always blushed, cried, and attempted to make up for her, um,
less-than-virtuous lifestyle by donating all of the money she made to the
temple. Studying through our books, we found that the closest thing to her
position that existed historically was, in ancient Greece a 'temple
prostitute.' And so the head of our temple named her the Koshindo Temple
Prostitute. I refused to accept this, believing that someone as innocent
as I believed her to be should not be subjected to a curse which made her
become a... well, a temple prostitute. So I went to Jusenkyo, searching
for a 'cure' which would allow her to be her innocent self the whole time.
I didn't know, of course, that she had been a prostitute to start with, but
I finally understand when I fell into a spring myself, and I found out
which form was the original- the hot water form. When I returned to the
temple, I got the story from her- she was 'employed' by someone with a
strong erotic sense of danger. B.B., as she was known then, didn't care
about the nature of Jusenkyo as long as she was paid well." Desaix
blushed, and everyone else blushed as he said "When she rolled off of
her... exhausted... employer, she rolled into a spring, and Buriko
Bakamoto, which was actually her full name even if she never called herself
that or allowed anyone else to call her that, was created."

Ranma frowned. "Okay, that explains the curses, but what about Happosai?"

"Ah, see, he gave some kind of potion to her, to make her fall in love with
him. So, she kept moping around the temple, begging to be allowed to look
for him." Ranma and Akane facefaulted, and even Kasumi looked a little
disturbed at the concept of someone actually 'wanting' Happosai's
attentions. "The other priests at the temple felt that she should pursue
him, feeling that a love interest might lesson some of her less desirable
'uncursed' traits. I was sent along as a bodyguard, since, as one of my
'friends' at the temple put it, I brought her into the temple, so its my
job to look after her."

Buriko hesitated. "I don't want to interrupt this very interesting
discussion we're all having, but it is getting late, and Desaix and I
should return to our hotel rooms shortly. Do any of you know where
Happosai-chan lives?"

Kasumi smiled. "Oh, he normally stays here, but he goes on trips every
day. He hasn't come home yet, as far as I can tell. You could always come
by tomorrow around lunchtime- he never misses lunches."

Buriko smiled. "Oh, thank you so much. And thank you for the tea- I loved
it a lot."

Desaix and Buriko stood up, and left quickly. After walking them to the
door, Akane started to say something to Ranma, but then looked around.
"Say, where'd my stir fry go?" Ranma looked around, nervous, and finally
spotted the pot lying down outside the patio. Akane saw where he was
looking, and smiled. "Ah, good, you can eat my stir fry after all." Then
she frowned. "But its probably cold by now, so-"

The temperature of the stir fry didn't matter for long, as a second later
Happosai emerged from the murky substance, a straw in his mouth. "Whew, I
thought she'd never leave."

"What's wrong, you old freak? Why are you running from her? I mean, you
did use a love potion on her?" Ranma smirked, glad that he wouldn't have
to eat Akane's poison after all.

"That I did, my boy, that I did, but that was before I found out about her
curse."

"Oh, I see, you only want her when she isn't cursed, is that it?"

Happosai's eyes widened. "No, actually she's pretty bearable in her cursed
form. But when she isn't..." Happosai shuddered. "I don't think my
cheeks can take the constant pinching, and her hugs... And her attitude...
Ranma, imagine Shampoo with Nabiki's cunning and Akane's temper!"

Ranma shuddered, but Akane, of course, got angry. "I do not have a
temper!"

* * * * *

Shortly afterwards, a panda who had been faking sleeping was doing some
serious thinking as it turned on the shower.

'Hmm, so the Master is actually afraid of someone? That is interesting
news. Maybe... hmm, I wonder if it would work..."

As the panda changed into Genma Saotome, it wondered where Soun Tendo was.
This was very good news indeed, if Tendo would agree with a certain plan...

* * * * *

At lunch the next day, the whole household (Ranma, Akane, Soun, Genma,
Nadoka, Happosai, Kasumi, and Nabiki) was gathered around the table in the
patio, eating white miso soup and chicken teriyaki. A knocking was heard
on the door, and Nadoka stood up to get it.

"Oh, hello," she was heard to say. "You must be the people dearest was
telling me were coming. Follow me."

She walked in with Desaix and Buriko (apparently in cursed form, as she was
wearing her priestly robes) in tow.

"Is Happosai-chan here?" Buriko asked. Half the people in the room still
shuddered when she used that term of endearment for Happosai.

"Why yes he- oh, my, that's strange," Kasumi said. "He was here a moment
ago!"

At the spot where Happosai had been sitting, an empty plate was spinning
and an overturned soup bowl was upside down on the floor.

"Do any of you know where Happosai might have gone?" Desaix asked, with
something of a sigh.

"No, we don't," Genma said. Desaix and Buriko turned to go as Genma nudged
Soun.

"Oh, yeah. Hey, you two- uh, Desaix and B.B., right?"

"NO! I AM NOT B.B.!" Buriko shouted. Desaix grimaced.

"I kinda need to explain that a bit," Desaix said through clenched teeth.
"See, when she's in her cursed form, she VIOLENTLY dislikes being called
B.B. When she's... normal... she just as violently dislikes being called
Buriko. It gets to be a real pain when you don't know which form she's
in."

Soun blinked. "Uh, okay. Anyway, as I was about to say, Happosai may not
be here now, but he always shows up here eventually. If you want, you can
wait here until he turns up. It could be several days, so if you want,
I'll send the boy here," he smacked Ranma as he spoke. "To go get your
stuff, and we can make some space by re-partitioning the second guest
room." Ranma grimaced. Now that his mother had moved in, he had been
kicked out of his old room, and was now in a room which had been
partitioned off of Happosai's room, which used to be the second guest room.
If they were going to repartition that room to give Happosai, himself,
Desaix, and Buriko all separate rooms, he would barely have enough room to
sleep in- he wouldn't even have anywhere to keep his clothes.

Akane realized how constricting this would be to Ranma, and smirked- a jerk
like him deserved to be inconvenienced every now and thing. After all,
didn't things always work out so easily for him? But... she looked over
Buriko for a second. She noticed that she had Shampoo's figure and Ukyo's
hair. In other words, she was physically everything a man could want.
And, if they did decide to stay, she would basically be sleeping next to
Ranma. Okay, so there'd be a wall between them, but it would be a paper
wall. As she thought of this, emotions she refused to identify as jealousy
prompted her to action.

"Um, actually, it'd be nice to have a roomate, if you do decide to stay,
Buriko. At least while we decide what to do about finding you two some
more permanent spaces- the guest room would get kind of cramped if we were
to divide it for both of you." Ranma looked at Akane uncertain why she had
really made that offer.

"Oh, we really shouldn't impose-"

"Nonsense, Buriko," Desaix interrupted. "It'll be nice to get out of the
hotel, won't it?" Buriko nodded shyly. "Okay, we'll move in here for a
while. Buriko, why don't you help set up here, while Ranma and I go get
our stuff?" Buriko nodded and handed Desaix a key labeled 'Tanaka Hotels,
Nerima,' and Ranma (after vacuuming down the last of his food) stood up and
joined him as he left.

Meanwhile, on the room, Happosai was busy trying to contain his anger.
'So, my students, you've finally enacted a somewhat effective plan to keep
me away from your company. It won't be for long, however- soon, I will
come up with a way to eliminate B.B., and then you shall face my
vengeance.'

* * * * *

The next morning, Desaix and Buriko joined the breakfast table. Desaix,
instead of his usual shinto robes, was dressed in a black jogging suit,
while Buriko wore jeans and a modest t-shirt. Ranma and Akane were, as
always, running late.

"Ken," Genma said, noticing the outfits while he was waiting for breakfast
to be served, "Why aren't you and Buriko dressed in your shinto robes? I
mean, you two even did the heavy work of moving over here wearing them..."

"Call me Desaix- everyone else does, because there are WAY too many Ken's
in the temple. Actually, Buriko isn't officially supposed to wear shinto
robes unless accompanied by someone of our temple, so she doesn't wear them
much outside of Koshindo. And, as far as this jogging suit is concerned,
I'm planning to do some exercising soon after breakfast."

Genma smiled a little deviously. "So, have you studied any martial arts?"

Desaix bit his lip. "Er, well, I've never been formally trained by anyone.
That doesn't mean I haven't studied them- I've been trying to teach myself.
At the temple, I'm regarded as one of the better fighters, even though I've
never actually fought with anyone before."

Genma raised an eyebrow. "Would you care to spar? I normally work with my
son before breakfast, but as you can see he's running late, and probably
won't have the time."

Desaix hesitated. "I'm really not that good- I know some tricks, but...
oh, alright. I've always wanted to gauge my skills against someone. Um,
where's the training hall?"

"Well, normally we practice outside, but since you're a guest, follow me, I
guess I'll train inside today." Akane came down just as he said this, and
asked if she could watch. Desaix shrugged and Genma nodded, so she
followed them outside to the dojo's side building which was the training
hall. Buriko joined her, and they took their seats along the Genma
prepared himself by stretching, and Desaix looked at the 3-1/2 foot long
walking stick he was holding, puzzled.

"Why aren't you stretching?" Genma asked.

Desaix smiled. "If some mugger came up to you on the street, armed with a
knife and intent on taking your money or your life, do you honestly think
he would pause and let you stretch so that you could fight him better?"
Genma slowly shook his head in the negative. "That's why I don't stretch-
at least not before workout. Afterwards, I do some flexibility stretching,
but not much... I don't really have any need for it. Um, pardon my asking,
but much of my offensive skill comes with this... walking stick. I'm
worried about hurting you with a weapon, however, so should I use it or
not?"

Genma nearly laughed. "Go ahead and use it. I've practiced against very
sharp spatula's, 200 pound umbrellas, bonbori, and deadly swords. I'm not
worried about a walking stick."

Desaix bit his lip to keep any expession from showing, and nodded. He took
a fighting stance, holding the walking staff out in front of him like a
sword.

"Ready?" Genma asked. Desaix nodded. "Okay, begin!" Genma charged
straight in- and was met by a now 6 foot long bo staff. Desaix used the
staff to push him across the room, and followed up by pole-vaulting into a
flying kick, knocking Genma into a wall. Desaix stepped back and swung his
staff at Genma's head.

Genma ducked and blocked, and noticed that Desaix only lightly tapped the
spot where his head had been seconds before. 'Thank the gods,' Genma
thought to himself, 'He can pull his punches with that thing. This boy's
good. Not as good as I am, though!' Genma counter-attacked, using a judo
throw on Desaix's outstretched weapon arm, knocking the staff out of his
hand. It clattered onto the floor and rolled over to Akane as Genma sent
Desaix flying into the same wall he had been knocked into.

Akane picked up the staff and looked at it. On the handle, there were a
pair of buttons. Expirementally, she pressed one of them, and faster than
she could see the staff once more became the walking stick it had been.

"Do you want your weapon back before you continue, Desaix?" Akane asked.

Surprisingly, it was Buriko who answered as Desaix stood up and fell into a
defensive stance. "No, he doesn't. From what he's told me, when he
practices he wants everything to be just like it would be if he were
attacked on the street, with the possible exception of not applying enough
force on his attacks to be lethal or seriously damaging. So, if he's
disarmed practicing, he'll continue practicing disarmed. He's not very
good offensively, though."

As if to demonstrate the truth of that statement, Desaix threw a
kidney-level roundhouse kick that whiffed in front of Genma, following it
up with a spinning back kick which was very easily blocked. There was
obvious potential in the form of the kicks, but they were poorly timed and
aimed. Desaix fell back into a defensive stance, smirking wryly.

"That was stupid of me. When I don't have my staff, I should probably just
stick to my defense, and just wear you down."

"Oh?" Genma asked. "I've always found that people who have that
particular philosophy easily get backed into corners from which they cannot
escape. Can you avoid such a fate?" Genma through a roundhouse kick at
Desaix's midsection. Desaix dropped long before the kick got there, and
raised his own leg so that it pushed Genma's upwards, knocking him onto the
ground as well. Both jumped up, and Genma quickly launched a punch
straight to Desaix's midsection. Desaix raised his arms in an x-block.
'Poor boy,' Genma thought to himself in the split second that the punch was
travelling. 'Doesn't he realize that the x-block was designed against
kicks and overhand punches? If I hit it, I'll hurt him, but I'm not even
going to do that, am I? It's too low- my punch will pass right over it!'
At that point in his thoughts, his fist had travelled all the way through
the block, but wasn't far enough to make contact with Desaix's chest.
That's when Desaix turned his arms and spun out of the way, trapping
Genma's wrist for a second and turning his back, allowing Desaix to spin
out of the block and deliver an elbow to the back, forcing Genma to stand
straight up in reflex. Desaix raised the arm attached to that elbow, and
brought it across Genma's neck, standing back to back with him. Then
Desaix kneeled, pulling with his arm to flip the middle-aged martial artist
over his shoulder. A backhand to his knee knocked Desaix to the ground,
and Genma stood up over him, kneeling on his arms in a classic mount
position. Desaix tapped the floor with the universal sign of 'I give up,'
an was quickly released.

"Very good for someone without formal training," Genma evaluated as Desaix
stretched out. "Not nearly as good as Ranma or some of the better people
who've tried to kill him, but-" He was interrupted by Kasumi coming in the
door announcing breakfast had been served. Everyone headed back into the
house and sat down to eat just as Ranma appeared, his hair wet from the
shower he had just been in.

"What kept you, boy?" Genma asked. "I had to spar with Desaix, here,
instead of you, this morning."

"Hmm," Ranma swallowed a bite of food. "Misplaced my clothes when we
re-arranged my room yesterday. Took me a while to find them." Akane
snickered as he took another bite of food. Ranma looked sadly at her
before turning to Desaix. "So, you know martial arts too, huh?"

"Well, I have some tricks, but most of my actual skills are self-taught,
and so are hard to guage. I did pretty good against your father, but I
surprised him and he was holding back a bit, I think."

Genma nodded. "Not as good as you, or even Ukyo or Shampoo, but still he's
decent. He needs to work on his unarmed offense or on his armed defense,
from what I saw."

Desaix shifted uncomfortably, being compared to people who he had never
met, and he was really sensitive about his skills, or lack thereof. It was
time to find something else to talk about, and fast.

"Um, excuse me for changing topics, but... I was thinking of trying to
visit one of the local shinto temples sometime today. Do any of you know
where one is?"

Soun hesitated. "Actually, we normally perform ceremonies around the
family shrine, in the training hall. I... really don't know where the
nearest local temple is..." He was somewhat embarrased, admiting this to a
priest. Other people shrugged or looked away. Ranma bit his lip
hesitantly.

"Um, I know where one is. I've visited it on occasion- or at least, I've
seen it from the outside."

Akane looked at Ranma, puzzled. "How do you know where one is? I'm around
you most of the time, and I've never noticed one before.

Ranma blushed slightly, and started stammering. "Um... I was fighting with
Ryouga... noticed it as a landmark..." Desaix saw that wasn't the real
reason, and smiled. He'd been that situation before himself, with Buriko,
and knew that Ranma really needed some kind of rescue.

"So," Desaix broke in. "Maybe you could meet me outside Furinkan after
your classes and show me around town- show me to the temple... maybe the
library... anywhere else I can think of between now and then."

Ranma shrugged. "I dunno. I don't have anything else planned. What about
you, Akane?"

"I'm free. I know! I'll make lunch. We'll have a picnic!"

"Sounds like fun," Buriko said. "Mind if I tag along?" Desaix smiled.

"Sound's great!" Both of them failed to notice Ranma's face turn ashen.

"Um... Akane... Are you sure-"

"Oh, no! We're going to be late!" Akane grabbed Ranma by the pigtail and
started pulling him along at a gallop. Buriko responded with a very
Kasumi-like phrase.

"Oh, my!"

* * * * *

The phone was ringing. Kasumi picked up the reciever and listened for a
moment. "Hello... Yes... Yes... Oh, my, yes, I'll tell them." She walked
outside, where Desaix, now in his priestly robes, sat chatting with Buriko.
"Hello, you two. Ranma just called from the school. You're going to have
to take the picnic food to Furinkan- for some odd reason, a monster arrived
in Akane's class when she was preparing your lunch and destroyed the home
economics classrooom."

Desaix nodded. "Okay. Buriko, why don't you ma-" Buriko looked at him in
askance. "Er, oops, sorry, forgot who I was talking to. I'll make some
sandwiches and some thermos's of tea in a minute."

* * * * *

It had been several weeks since Ryouga had been in Nerima. Not since the
failed wedding, in fact. He'd never found Akari, and wasn't sure what he
would have done if he did. After hearing about how Ukyo and Shampoo had
succeeded in, at the very least, delaying the marraige of his fierce rival
for some time, Ryouga was wondering if he, perhaps, had one last chance to
win Akane's heart.

But truth be told, he wasn't thinking about that at the moment. He was
trying to find a way to change back from being a pig- he hadn't been able
to return to his human form for several days. He didn't even know where
his clothes or pack had disappeared to- he was in the middle of a forest
when it rained, and of course he wandered away from them and would probably
never find them again. Oh, well, at least he still had his one hundred
throwing bandanas, tied around his neck.

It was by these he was picked up.

"Oh, a little pig! How cute! Are you lost, little pig?" The owner of the
soft and demure feminine voice turned him around to face her. Looking at
her body, Ryouga immediately thought of Shampoo. 'Oh, no! She's going to
try and cook me again!' Then he saw the girl's face and hair, and knew
that it was someone he hadn't seen before. Now that he thought about it,
her speech was a bit too articulate for Shampoo- he didn't recognize this
person.

However, he did recognize the next voice he heard very well. All too well,
in fact.

"Charlotte? Is it you, Charlotte? It is!" Azusa squeeled happily. She
ran over to Buriko, and stretched out her hands. "Give Azusa back her
Charlotte!"

"Oh," Buriko began. Desaix, awkwardly carrying two big and heavy picnic
baskets and two filled thermos's, pulled up to Buriko's side. "Is this
pig-"

"Charlotte! Charlotte! Charlotte!" Azusa screamed, getting louder each
time. Buriko couldn't get a word in edgewise. Azusa saw the two thermos
Desaix was holding, and grabbed one from him, causing him to drop one of
the picnic baskets and juggle the other with the second thermos. Azusa
took the improvised weapon she had secured and began smashing Buriko over
the head with it, screaming "Charlotte!" with every blow. Desaix, his face
turning angry, set the surviving picnic stuff down and turned to intervene.

"How dare you attack Buriko in fron-" He broke off as the thermos Azusa
was smashing a confused Buriko over the head with split open along the
plastic mold's seam, spilling the hot contents. Azusa tried to continue
bashing the other, now sopping wet, girl with the rapidly disintegrating
plastic container. That girl responded by bringing her palm up hard
against the remains of the thermos, shattering it in Azusa's hand. Then
she tucked her shirt in so that it was tight against her, showing her
curves in a very flattering way. Desaix turned very pale. 'Oh, no!' he
thought. 'B.B.'s back!'

"Now how can you possibly claim that this cute little pig is yours? You
don't even know what sex he is! Forget calling him Charlotte, he should be
named Wilbur!" Desaix sighed as B.B. said these words, rolling his eyes.
'She's going to get me in trouble again, isn't she?' Azusa grabbed the
poor pig away from B.B. before she could react, and hugged her to her
chest.

"This is Azusa's Little Charlotte!"

"No, it isn't, and you know it, Azusa! That pig is my P-Chan!" Akane's
voice said. She ran into the scene and pulled him away, hugging him to her
chest. Ranma pulled up beside her.

"Didn't we already settle this once?" Ranma sighed. He poked his finger
and bent down to talk to the black piglet. "You're more trouble than your
worth, you know that?" The pig chomped down on Ranma, and so he slammed it
down onto the ground. Ranma's elbow smashed Ranma on the back of the head.

"Quit picking on P-Chan, Ranma!" Meanwhile, B.B. picked up the thing that
was drawing all the attention.

"Actually, Akane, this pig was wandering around the streets," B.B. said,
looking at her with sharp, Nabiki-on-the-hunt-like, eyes. "I found him,
hence he's MY Wilbur."

"Warn Akane to be careful," Desaix was anxiously whispering to Ranma.
"When B.B.'s in this mode, she can't be matched for cunning!"

"Wanna bet?" Ranma whispered back to Desaix, thinking of Nabiki's tricks.

"Azusa wants her Charlotte!" Azusa cried. "Azusa challenges both of you!"

"Oh, god!" Ranma cried. "Not another Martial Arts Figure Skating contest!
One is enough for a lifetime, and it isn't even the right season!" Akane,
without even realizing it, looked at Ranma with a slightly pained look on
her face. Some of her fondest memories of him were centered around that
match. "I mean, after Ryouga started trying to kill me in the middle of
the match, I thought I was going to lose for a second there." The pain
left Akane's face without her ever realizing that it was there.

"Ranma right," Azusa said. "It's not the season for Martial Arts Figure
Skating. Need time to think of what to challenge two girls in!" 'Why does
she remind me so much of Shampoo?' both Akane and Ranma thought to
themselves.

"Hmm, it doesn't seem fair to me to only have you decide how we should
settle this. I think we should all come up with two things, each, to face
each other with." B.B. intervened.

"Hmm, sounds like an interesting way of doing things," Ranma said. "But...
what about the possibility of a tie?"

B.B. looked around. "How about if we have someone nuetral decide on a
seventh contest? We'll do all of them, and we'll rate each other on a
point basis. Three points for a first place finish, two points for
second, zero for third. If there's still a tie, we'll settle it by who has
the most wins."

Desaix looked at B.B. strangely. "B.B., that actually sounds fair. That
was hot water you were hit with, right?" B.B. smiled devilishly at Desaix,
and he paled even further. 'Oh, god, she's planning something. I'd better
make sure no-one hurts themselves.' He turned to the others. "I will make
a request of all of you when coming up with your section of the contest.
Pick no fighting contests- if you do, I'll be forced to intervene to
protect B.B."

B.B. pulled out a mallet of chi that impressed even Akane, and smashed it
over Desaix's head. "I don't need you to protect me, you sexist pig!"
Ranma raised his eyebrow. The other two girls kind of sighed sadly.
'There goes my first idea,' Akane thought. Desaix, on the other hand, was
thinking 'How did I know that this would be the reaction I would get?'

He stood up slowly, and looked at B.B. apologetically, but still spoke with
exasperation. "Look, B.B., I'm not trying to protect you because I'm a
'sexist pig,' but because its my JOB to protect you- remember?!"

B.B. 'Hmph'ed, but didn't say anything. Akane looked at Azusa, and
shrugged. "If Azusa and Buriko agree to that condition," Akane said, "So
will I."

"Azusa agrees if other two do."

B.B. sighed angrily. "Oh, okay, fine, I'll agree. But, Akane, my name is
B.B. Remember that!" Desaix winced, but B.B. didn't notice. Ranma,
however, did, but didn't say anything. 'Hmm... I think I want to talk to
Desaix about that,' he thought. "Say," B.B. continued, "Who will hold onto
little Wilbur in the meantime?" She gave the pig a squeeze into her
pronounced chest, causing it to sniffle a little in an attempt to keep from
exploding with a nosebleed.

B.B., Akane, and Azusa all started shouting at once how they should be the
one to keep him. Desaix just shook his head, wondering what curse put him
in the middle of this situation. Ranma sighed.

"Look, guys, I think I'd better be the one to look after him," he said. "I
mean, I wouldn't hurt him too much, I know how to take care of him, and I'm
also probably the only person in Nerima who doesn't like the annoying
little pig." The pig in question did it's best to stick his tongue out at
Ranma.

"I agree," Desaix said, just wanting the madness to stop, if only for a
little while. "He should be kept by a nuetral party, but also someone
who's involved, and since I don't know the first thing about taking care of
pigs..." The girls agreed, and so B.B. reluctantly gave the pig one last
squeeze before handing it to Ranma. Azusa left after agreeing to meet at
Ucchan's Okonomiyaki for lunch and a discussion of terms of the duel the
next day, and Desaix started picking up the trash from the destroyed
thermos and the ruined picnic basket. "Say, how about that picnic now?
I've still got one thermos of tea and enough sandwiches and fruit for all
of us, and I haven't had lunch yet..."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Ranma asked. "Shouldn't B.B. and Akane
be kept apart?"

Desaix sighed. "True, B.B. should be kept apart from Akane. B.B., would
you consent to becoming Buriko at least long enough to have the picnic?"

B.B. looked at Desaix with a scowl on her face. "Dez, you KNOW I don't
like being controlled by that personality."

Desaix smiled. "And when you're in that personality, you hate being in
this one. But, otherwise, the picnic you wanted can't happen." Ranma and
Akane both started watching this exchange with interest.

"Well," B.B. said, looking down sweetly and seductively. "If you do change
me to Buriko now," she put a finger under his chin to turn his face to
hers. "Will you promise to change me back to B.B. before tonight- or at
least long enough before lunch tommorrow to give me a chance to plan my end
of the duel- and do your best to keep me as B.B. for the duel... unless I
specifically ask otherwise AS B.B.?"

Desaix closed his eyes at her touch and sighed. "Oh, very well. I
promise, on my word of honor, to change you back to B.B. by the time you
said." He sounded like he was saying something rehearsed. He walked over
to a water hose, and splashed B.B. Buriko looked down at herself and
blushed. She pulled her t-shirt out to make it baggier and to hide her
curves a bit. Desaix picked up the picnic basket and thermos, and said
"Lead on." Ranma, holding Ryouga-in-pig-form, lead the way, Akane
following close behind- not to stay close to Ranma, but to stay well away
from Buriko, who tailed at the back, unable to even look at Akane, as she
followed Desaix. But, at least for the length of the picnic, things were
quiet for the four of them.

* * * * *

Things moved rather quickly from that point until after dinner. The picnic
went smoothly (except for Akane trying to stay away from Buriko and Ranma
complaining about the food, or lack thereof (he only had 4 sandwiches and a
couple of apples to eat)), and afterwards Ranma led them all to the shinto
temple (Akane again brought up the question of how Ranma knew about the
location of the temple, to which he replied "Um, uh, I, uh, hid from
Kodachi there once?" Everyone noticed the change in story, but they were
all too polite to mention it. Akane made a mental note, however, to ask
him again some time- why was he lying to him?) where Desaix made some
connections and found that he had been asked after by his temple. After
arriving back at the dojo, Akane went to Nabiki (pulling Desaix along as a
nuetral observer) to hire her to be the head judge of the duel and to come
up with the seventh challenge. Ranma went to his parents room, and pulled
up some floor boards to pull out a chest of items he had saved. Some of
the items in the chest were the hair cut off Akane by his duel with Ryouga,
the original Charlotte Cup, a leaf out of Ryugenzawa, and a poorly made
scarf with some badly-done embroidery. Ranma pulled out the Cup, and
re-hid the chest, bringing it to Akane (who handed it to Nabiki). Dinner
went smoothly, but after all the food had been eaten there was an awkward
pause.

"Say, Desaix, can you come with me to help me feed Ry... I mean, P-Ch... I
mean Wilb... BAH! Who care's what his name is! Can you come and help me
feed The Pig?" Ranma asked. Desaix looked at him strangely (as did Akane,
wondering why Ranma needed help feeding P-Chan) but agreed, and soon the
two were off to Ranma's room. Buriko took this opportunity to approach
Akane.

"Akane, can we talk? I want to explain some things about myself... and the
way this curse effects me... to you." Akane hesitated, but agreed, and so
they headed up to Akane's room.

Everyone else just relaxed as they normally did in the evenings.

* * * * *

Ranma, after grabbing P-Chan, a fire bucket, a robe, and a tea kettle of
hot water, took Desaix with him onto the roof. "We need to talk," he said.
"And I need you to promise, as I will, that you will tell NO-ONE about
anything you see or hear here."

Desaix smirked. "Well, I kind of figured that. I mean, for one thing, you
forgot to get food for the Pig, and for another, I doubt that you would
actually need someone to help you even if you were planning to feed him.
Its obvious you want this meeting kept a secret, so... sure, I promise I
will tell no-one about anything regarding this meeting."

"Uh, yeah. That's kinda what I want to talk about." Ranma sighed. "Could
you... er, no. How would you... uh. Hmph. I'm not quite sure if you'd
understand why I was asking that." Ranma sighed again. "Let's see if I
can approach this from another angle. I suppose I'm the last person in the
world who should be asking about this kinda thing, but... what do you feel
about B.B.?"

Desaix blinked. "What do you mean?"

Ranma bit his lip. He was always uncomfortable talking to someone else
about their love life, with his own being such a muddle, but he figured he
needed to know for certain. "I mean... well... for instance, why did you
not allow there to be any fighting in the duel? That's a VERY unusual
request around here, and its rare that someone gets seriously hurt- they
generally break up before it gets too rough."

Desaix swallowed uncomfortably. "Uh, its my job to protect B.B."

Ranma drew in his breath. Desaix was obviously not telling the whole
truth. "Try again."

"I... I... Well, I couldn't let her get hurt, you know?"

Ranma smiled. "Yes, I know. But why?"

Desaix looked at Ranma closely. 'Dammit, he knows how I feel about her.
But I might as well try to put him on the spot in return!' "I'll tell
you... but... first tell me why you are trying so hard to avoid saying why
you know the location of that shinto temple."

Ranma's eyes widened. He looked at P-Chan, who was sitting around on the
roof looking rather bored with life, not paying any attention to what was
being said. Ranma knew, however, that he would be paying close attention
if he answered.

"Um... how about I agree to tell you AFTERWARDS?"

Desaix raised a single eyebrow. "Uh, why?"

"Urm... you'll find out soon enough."

Desaix shrugged. "You'll tell me afterwards, on your word of honor?"
Ranma nodded slowly. "Okay... fine." Desaix sighed. "What do I feel
about B.B.? The answer is..." Desaix stopped for a second, and closed his
eyes. When he opened them again, he looked straight at Ranma, flames
flickering. "I love Buriko more than anything else there is, human, god,
or demon. However... B.B. abuses me, mistreats me, smashes me for the
stupidest reasons... I won't say I hate B.B., but I don't particularly like
her- and I can never tell Buriko how I feel because then B.B. would know
and could use it against me." He smiled sadly. "Not that she can't use it
against me anyways- she just doesn't know she's using it against me right
now. Why do you want to know?"

Ranma nodded. He thought as much. "Ever feel jealous when she... you
know... 'goes to work?'"

Desaix grimaced. "Yes, of course. Why?" The flames in his eyes leapt
again. "You AREN'T planning to 'hire' her, are you?" The anger in his
voice made Ranma a little nervous.

"Eh, no," Ranma said quickly. "I... want your help on something dealing
with the duel. Actually, I want the duel to not happen- and I'll show you
why." Ranma picked up the teapot and went over to P-Chan. "Say, P-Chan,"
The pig looked at Ranma curiously. "Do you mind if I reveal your secret to
Desaix here? I think if he knew, and he could talk to you, we could work
something out regarding the duel." Ranma really hated having to ask Ryouga
this, but he did promise...

The pig shrugged, as if it didn't care one way or the other, and Ranma
doused it with hot water, and quickly put the robe over the rapidly
appearing Ryouga. Desaix's eyes widened. "ANOTHER Jyusenkyo victim?" he
asked. Ryouga nodded. "Okay, how many are there in this area?"

"Well, there's Ranma here," Ryouga started, "who turns into a girl, there's
myself, there's Shampoo, who turns into a cat," Ranma shuddered as Ryouga
continued. "There's Mousse, who turns into a duck, and... well, Ranma's
father turns into a Panda."

Ranma bit his lip. "There are some others who show up from time to time.
There's Pantyhose Taro, who turns into a chimera-like thing, and there's
Rouge, who turns into a goddess Ashura..." Desaix's eyes widened large at
that one. "Not the real goddess Ashura," Ranma said, noticing his
surprise, "See, she fell into the Spring of Drowned Statue of Ashura, and
so becomes Ashura-like when doused with water. Of course, I don't really
expect to see those two anytime soon- they were in Nagasaki, on Kyushu,
last I heard."

"Wait, weren't there stories in the news about monsters battling each other
destroying half of Nagasaki?" Desaix asked.

Ranma smirked. "Didn't I just say that?" His expression got more serious.
"Well, on to business. I REALLY don't like doing it, but I have to keep
this guys secret- and so do you now, since you promised to keep the things
you see tonight secret." Desaix nodded in acknowledgement. "I don't like
it because he's ABUSED that promise by sleeping with Akane in his pig form.
I would almost say that it would serve him right to be won by Azusa!"

"Raaannnnmmaaaaa!" Ryouga growled, raising his fists. Ranma just raised a
palm to try to calm him down.

"I said ALMOST. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't with that fate on my
worst enemy- well, maybe Saffron- and... while Ryouga is perhaps one of my
toughest competitors, he isn't my worst enemy..." Ryouga looked at Ranma
in confusion. "Though he is frequently a nuisance." The scowl reappeared
on Ryouga's face. "Anyway, I figure that, since you love B.B.- er, Buriko,
you wouldn't want her winning 'ownership' of Ryouga either. And I don't
want Akane to win him either. However, there are no options other than
those three... so... any ideas?"

"I could leave," Ryouga said. Desaix shook his head.

"No, I'm afraid that would only delay things. Once B.B. sets her sights on
something, there is no stopping her. If she doesn't really want it- and
she probably doesn't really care if she wins you as a pet pig or not, but
because someone tried to take you away from her, she's convinced herself
that she wants you more than anything, and so... she will stop at nothing
to win you. At least, when she's B.B. in form."

"What is all this about 'B.B.' and 'Buriko' anyway? Aren't they the same
person?" Ryouga asked.

Desaix smirked. "She, too, is a Jusenkyo victim- the Spring of Drowned
Holy Woman. Buriko is her cursed form, B.B. is her uncursed. Anyway, as I
was saying, you leaving won't help any. However... if you were to reveal
youself to all three women at the same time, they might think twice about
wanting you-"

"WHAT?!" Ranma exclaimed. "Do you WANT Akane to kill me for keeping this
from her for so long?"

Ryouga ignored him. "No, that wouldn't help. At least... not with Azusa,
I don't think. She found out I was both human and pig at the first
Charlotte Cup competition, and it didn't stop her then, so I doubt it'll
stop her know."

Ranma frowned. "Do either of you have any other ideas, though?" Desaix
and Ryouga shook their heads. "Then... I guess there's nothing we can do."
Ranma grabbed the bucket and doused Ryouga. He squeeled angrily. "Sorry,
Wilbur, I can't have you staying in the house as your human self, and since
I'm 'in charge' of taking care of you, I can't let you leave the house
either." Ranma picked up the outraged pig and the other stuff he had
brought out with him, and went inside followed by Desaix. Ranma smiled
wickedly as he locked Ryouga up in a pet cage, whispering "Well, I've gotta
maintain your cover. Now, if you let me tell Akane about you, I could let
you out... but, since I can't, here you are."

Desaix tapped Ranma on the shoulder. "Say, weren't you going to tell me
about why you're so secretive about that temple?"

Ranma sighed. "Oh, yeah, forgot about that. Come on." Ranma lead Desaix
onto the roof again, and turned towards him. "Okay, I promised to tell
you, so I will, but... I've never told anyone what I'm about to tell you.
If you EVER tell anyone else a word I say here, I WILL kill you." Ranma
looked Desaix in the eyes with a warning, and Desaix, frightened by the
glance, could do little but nod. "The truth of the matter is... I was
there wondering about... about... wmdng crmnis." Ranma started to blush

Desaix recovered from the stare by shaking his head violently. "About
WHAT?"

"Wedding ceremonies..." Ranma's blush grew brighter.

"Well, what's so bad about that? I mean, you are engaged to Akane, from
what your parents tell me..."

"Eh, sort of." Ranma sighed, his blush fading but not completely
disappearing. "But, its complicated. I'm... I'm...." Ranma closed his
eyes, and the blush returned with double the force of before. "I am...
sorta... kinda... in l... l... l... love with Ak..." He swallowed.
"Ak-kane..." Ranma stuttered.

Desaix smiled. "Well, that's good. I would expect you to be in love with
the person who you have asked to marry you."

Ranma opened his eyes, anger burning in them. "THAT is the problem. I
never asked for the engagement, and neither did she. Our parents arranged
it before we were born..." Desaix's smile fell. "That, in itself, would
be acceptable. I grew to fall in love with Akane, and I... hope she can do
the same, if she doesn't kill me first." Ranma gave a dry chuckle. "You
know, the first time I realized how I felt about her was when we had the
FIRST Charlotte Cup match- remind me to tell you about that sometime- and
Mikado Sanzenine, Azusa's figure skating partner, threatened to kiss Akane.
Thing is, though, I've never felt that she returned that love, and so never
wanted to force myself upon her. I went to the shinto temple, though, to
find out when the earliest was we could get married. The priest I talked
to said that, religiously, we could get married whenever we wanted, but the
law said I had to wait until she and I were eighteen- or a little less than
a year from now. That's part of the reason I was shocked when her and my
parents tried to set up a wedding for us a while back- apparently Nabiki
found some legal loophole where, if we got married before a certain date,
the law would not technically affect us for some reason or another- some
kind of 'Grandfather Clause,' she said. Of course, that was ruined because
other people wanted to interfere- primarily my OTHER fiancees." Desaix
opened his mouth as if to say something, but decided against it. "That's
right- I have other fiancees in addition to Akane, also not of my choice.
The only one who's claim I feel is legitimate is Ucchan- er, Ukyo, who my
pop engaged me to when we were six. The others are also largely my fathers
doing... er, well, Shampoo's kinda my fault, but how was I supposed to know
that by beating her in combat I'd be required to marry her? I shouldn't
even be bound by that law, since I'm not Chinese!" Desaix bit his lip,
desperately trying not to say anything. "Sorry about that," Ranma
apologized, noticing his discomfort. "Anyway, my point is that my trying
to find out about the legal and religious requirements of weddings- my sole
purpose behind locating that temple- would cause more problems than I could
possibly handle, if I were to let people know I WAS trying to find out
about them. So... I don't really know what to say to people when they ask
me why I know of the location of this temple when they don't."

Desaix nodded slowly, and started talking through clenched teeth. "Uh huh.
Right. Sure." Then he frowned. "So... what are you planning to do now?"

Ranma blinked. "Huh?"

"I'm not really one to talk... but... shouldn't you do something to make
Akane realize how you feel about her? Shouldn't you do something to end
your unwanted engagements? And, last of all, shouldn't you be telling this
to someone who DOESN'T have basically the same problem with the same lack
of viable solutions?"

Ranma grinned. This he did have an answer for. "Like who? My parents?
My father would just blow everything- after all, he was largely responsible
for my other engagements, and he was ENTIRELY responsible for my curse- he
took me to the training grounds, and he knocked me into the Nyannichuan.
My mother? Who I signed a note when I was six saying that if I didn't
become one of the 'manliest' men, I and my father would have to commit
Seppoku? She'd see the pouring out of my emotions as a weakness, and
therefore unmanly. Kasumi? Uh, she's the one who keeps inviting the
people trying to kill Akane and myself in for tea, thinking that they're
all 'such good friends' with me. One of the other fiancees? They'd either
kill me, or Akane, or both of us! Mr. Tendo? He'd just blab it out to
everyone and start crying before he could give rational advice- and
besides, he has ulterior motives. Nabiki? I couldn't afford it. And
Akane... well, whenever I think about opening up to Akane, I accidently say
something stupid, or I retreat into a defensive shell, and insult her- or
deny how I feel about her, which is worse." He let out an exagerated sigh.
"And you think you have the same problems I do?!"

Desaix bit his lower lip- which was by now getting rather sore. "Er..."

"I didn't think so."

And with that, the conversation ended.

* * * * *

While all this had been going on, Akane was sitting as far away from Buriko
as she could while the two of them talked in her room. Akane fidgeted
uncomfortably.

"Akane," Buriko began, "I know you don't like being alone with me, after
B.B. and you got into that... contest. I don't want you scared to be near
me- I mean, if I am going to be staying here a while, than I think we
should at least be friends."

"Oh, right," Akane said. She had seen one too many people, aiming to
separate her from Ranma, use that exact same line. "And I suppose I should
trust you, reveal all my feelings and all my secrets too you, and believe
everything you say, because you'd NEVER use any of that against me, right?"

Buriko blinked in surprise. "Uh, no. In fact, NEVER trust me, and NEVER
reveal all of your feelings or ANY of your secrets to me. I know my 'other
self,' and she would take advantage of anything I found out in this form.
In fact, I'd probably suggest that even if it wasn't for this stupid
challenge..."

"Stupid challenge, eh?" Akane said, trying to recover from her own surprise
at Buriko's words. "Does that mean that, in this form, you won't
participate in the challenge?"

Buriko laughed. "No, it doesn't mean that. I might not try any
underhanded tricks in this form, but I will participate in it. Though, in
fact, I wouldn't have even tried to keep that cute little pig from either
of you if I had been in this form. Azusa just wouldn't let me tell her
that, though, before she smashed that thermos over my head..." Buriko
rubbed her head and winced at the memory. Then she sighed. "This stupid
curse- if only I could lock myself in one form or the other. These changes
keep messing up my relationship with my friends."

"Yeah, none more than with me, right?" Akane asked sardonically.

"Uh, actually," Buriko said, "I think my changes wind up inflicting more
pain on poor Dez than anyone. He was the first person at the temple to be
affected by them- B.B. was trying to seduce him, and then the head of the
temple walked in on the two of them. B.B., of course, tried to frame Dez,
and he just let her. So he was thrown out of the temple. That was when he
went to Jusenkyo, and while he was gone the others at the temple eventually
found out the truth." She blushed. "They found out because B.B. was
successfully seducing the other priests one by one. To tell you the truth,
Dez is the only one who AVOIDED being seduced by her- if that's any
indication of how manipulative she can be. When he returned, they let him
back in, but they never treated him the same way again, because he didn't
warn them about me!"

Akane bit her lip in thought. "Uh, why didn't he? He could have avoided
the trouble he got into just by turning you in."

Buriko shrugged. "I... really don't know. I guess he felt responsible for
bringing me in, or something. I might have thought he... he liked me, but
if so than why did he reject B.B., or why didn't he say anything to me
before he... found out?" Buriko sighed and shook her head. "No, it
couldn't be that.... He obviously doesn't want to be anything more than a
protector- or, at best, a friend."

Akane looked at her closely. "You like HIM, though."

Buriko's lips twitched at the corners. "Is it that obvious?" Her face
broke out into a sad smile. She sighed again. "Actually, I don't know if
I like him or not. B.B., I know, viewed him as a challenge- she's set her
eyes on him more than once." Her face suddenly wrinkled in disgust.
"She's even offered herself for free, at one time- and he still rejected
her. Now, she just likes being cruel to him- in revenge- and accused him
of being a sexist pig whenever he does anything remotely polite to her."
After a few seconds of quiet contemplation, the smile returned to her face.
"I think he's sweet, most of the time- I still retain some of B.B.'s
attributes, though, with regards to thinking of him as a sexist pig- I
resent it when he opens doors for me, or when he tries to order me around-
like when he was about to tell me to make food for the picnic- but I'm not
as vehement about it as B.B. She... takes everything he says the wrong
way, and smashes him good for it, she extorts money from him, she TRIES to
put him into compromising situations- and, to top it all off, she FLAUNTS
her... conquests... to him."

Akane grimaced. "And you're telling me you want to be MY friend? Why, so
you can do the same thing to me? So you can put B.B. in a position to
steal Ranma from me? So-"

"Steal Ranma from you?" Buriko raised her eyebrows. "I never even laid an
eye on him, even as B.B."

Akane was stopped dead at that, and barely contained her anger. "WHAT?
What's wrong with him? Isn't he handsome enough?" Buriko smiled broadly.
Akane blushed when she realized what she said. "Er, I mean, um..."

Buriko's smile turned into a laugh. "Its nice that you defend those you
care about so vehemently, but-"

"Who said I cared about him?" Akane shouted, blushing even deeper.

"You did... indirectly." Akane opened her mouth, but Buriko just shook her
head. "But its not a good idea to let me know that you do care about him
that way- B.B.'s likely to use it against you."

"Hey!"

"Oh, don't worry about it. Its not that surprising that you love your
fiancee."

"But... I... ARGH! I never wanted him to be my fiancee- I never asked for
any of this." Akane proceeded to briefly explain the whole fiancee mess to
Buriko.

"Ah. If I were more like B.B., I'd point out the fact that you didn't deny
that you love him, you just denied that you were willingly his fiancee."
Buriko smiled. "But since I'm not, I won't."

Akane blushed. She decided that now was a very good time to change the
subject. "Say... where are you going to sleep now?"

Buriko's smile fell. "Well, I was hoping that this conversation would be
able to patch things up between us at least to the point where I could
sleep here, but... if you don't feel comfortable enough, I'd better make
sleeping arrangements." Akane closed her eyes.

"I'm... I'm sorry. You can sleep here tonight, as long as you can avoid
hot water for the rest of the night-"

"No problem there- I'm real tired and want to get to sleep."

Akane nodded. "After tonight, however, I suspect that you'll have a hard
time assuring me that you AREN'T B.B., so maybe Kasumi or Nabiki will agree
to let you sleep in her room until the duel is over." Buriko's smile
returned. "I think I'll ask them about it tomorrow morning. In the
meantime," Akane yawned, "I think I'm with you. Let's go to bed- we have
a big day tomorrow!" Buriko nodded and, without even changing into her
pajama's, leapt into the futon that had been put into the room for her, and
immediately fell asleep. Shortly thereafter, Akane, too, went to bed.

* * * * *

The next day, at Ucchan's Okonamiyaki, seven people showed up to discuss
the duel.

"Can I talk to all the representatives?" Nabiki asked. Ranma, Desaix, and
Mikado all walked up to the table Nabiki sat at, while the three girls sat
in various seats along the counter. Desaix was sporting a rather nasty
bruise from when he turned Buriko into B.B. that morning ("I told you to
bring me back last NIGHT, dammit!" B.B. complained) but was otherwise
pretty relaxed. Ranma was his usual self- fairly bored with the goings on,
since things didn't involve him to much at that point. Mikado, on the
other hand, was eying Ranma nervously- at the last Charlotte Cup, Mikado
had been sent to the hospital for three months, in part by Ranma's blow to
his ribs (cracking several of them) and in part for a fight that had
occurred a few days beforehand, where Ranma had successfully hit him 501
times, and Mikado definately didn't want that to happen to him again. He
looked over at Akane and sighed. 'I guess I shall never be able to give
her my special greeting- not while this ridiculously overpowered warrior
stands in my way....'

Konatsu came up to their table, pen and pad in hand. "What'll be your
orders today?" he asked.

"Uh, where's Ucchan?" Ranma asked loudly. Akane, within hearing distance,
hmphed. "I want to find out if she's all right after that conversation we
had," he said a bit quieter.

Konatsu frowned. "She wasn't happy at first, but... well... I think she's
okay now. She's making some deliveries across town." Ranma frowned a bit.

"Ah... I suppose that's okay. Um, I'll have a deluxe special."

"Pork okonamiyaki for me, thanks," Desaix ordered. Nabiki and Mikado both
declined.

"Okay, on to business," Nabiki said. "First off, has anyone decided to
withdraw from the competition before it even starts?" There was silence.
"Very well. Now, each contestant is supposed to have come up with two
different competitions for the 2nd Charlotte Cup competition, and I'm
supposed to have come up with one. I will announce mine first, and then
you each will announce your associates in turn." Everyone around the table
nodded in comprehension (well, Ranma may have been nodding off, but he did
seem to respond as if he understood) allowing Nabiki to continue. She
pulled out a pencil and paper and started writing down the contest ideas,
starting with her own. "Okay, as it turns out, I've very recently bought
600 sets of designer post cards for 50 yen each- I got a huge discount for
buying bulk. My contest will have each competitor attempt to sell 200 of
these sets at 500 yen each- the person who has sold the most at the end of
the day, or, if there is a tie, the first person to sell out, wins first,
second most or second sold out is second, etc. Okay, who wants to go
next?"

Mikado raised his hand first, and Nabiki nodded in his direction. "The
first competition Azusa wants is a cuteness competition. The person who
dresses up the cutest and who is judged, by a panel, to be the cutest, will
win." B.B., hearing this, smiled devilishly, but Akane frowned anxiously.
Mikado continued. "The second competition Azusa wants to ask for is a
cooking competition. The person who is able to make the best meal, from
scratch, is the winner. This, also, is to be judged by a panel." Akane's
frown grew greater, and Ranma suddenly snapped awake, and started to look
nervous. 'Oh, man,' he thought, 'Akane'll want to win that one so badly
that she's going to push her so-called cooking at me until she kills me,
just so as to get some practice. This is not good...'

Desaix went next. "Okay, I really don't like this, but B.B.'s insisting,
so..." Desaix sighed in resignation. "The first contest she wants to have
will require nine special judges- three Catholic priests, 3 Buddhist monks,
and 3 Shinto priests- I'm afraid I'll have to disqualify myself on that
one. The contest is..." Again, he gave that sigh. "A contest of Virtue.
One representative priest of each religion will follow each of the three
girls around all day. At the end of the day, the priests will come
together, and they will all vote on who is most virtuous, who's second
most, and who's least. More competitions may be held at the same time as
this is happening, but her second contest may not." And, once again, he
gave his dispaired little sigh, following it up with a blush, and
continued. "At least I managed to convince B.B. to tone down the second
contest she thought of, which is... the most seductive girl. This is
decided two-fold: first, the amount of time it takes to get each girl to
kiss her partner, and second, a judgement call based on points, where a
panel of judges will decide which kiss is apparently the most...
passionate. The timing part, the first couple gets 5 points, second 3,
third 1. The judgement call is on a scale of one to ten points." By that
point, everyone in the room who had heard except for B.B., Mikado, and
Nabiki were blushing badly.

Ranma broke the ice, deciding to get his mind off of the unusual turn of
thought he was having. "Um, uh... I-I guess that just leaves Akane's two
contests. The first one is a singing competition- everyone sings the same
song, solo with the same tape accompanyment, and a panel of judges decides
who sings the best. The second contest Akane came up with was to perform
traditional Kata' and have a panel of expert martial artists judge. I'm
afraid that I, like Desaix in B.B.'s first contest, will have to withdraw
myself from consideration for judging that contest."

Nabiki nodded, making a few last notes. "Okay, people, hold on a moment.
I'll look things over and arrange the contests. I'll be back soon." She
stood up and headed to a separate table, and laid several sheets of paper
in front of her, and started reading them, occassionally taking notes.

While Nabiki was making decisions, Akane looked over at Ranma with an
expression bordering on despair. 'For that Most Seductive contest, you and
I are going to have to kiss, Ranma.... Even if there was someone else who
I would... our parents would never allow it. No, Ranma, its just you and
me. Are you going to... to... to be willing to... to... to-' She never
completed the thought as Nabiki returned to the table that the men were
around, and began speaking loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Okay, people, this is what I've decided. The first day of the
competition, which I'll tentatively schedule for tomorrow with the hope of
being able to find the appropriate judges in time, these three contests
will be held- two of them all day, and the third will be held at lunchtime:
My 'Sell the Cards,' B.B.'s 'Most Virtuous Girl' competition, and Azusa's
'Best Cook' competition."

B.B., who had moved closer to hear better and was now right behind Desaix,
whispered in his ear "Look's like you'll be happy tomorrow. I'll let you
keep me Buriko all day." Ranma, meanwhile, was thinking 'Well, at least
that means Akane will only have one day to practice poisoning people on
me.'

"The schedule of the second day is as follows: First, we will have Akane's
'Best Singer' competition, followed by her 'Best Performed Kata's'
competition. Then we'll have a break to freshen up, and allow people to
prepare for the next event- Azusa's 'Who's the Cutest' competition."
Several people nodded. "The final day of the competition will be a very
short day, as it will have just one contest- B.B.'s 'Most Seductive Girl'
competition." This was said looking straight into Akane's eyes, and she
blushed and looked down, embarrased. Nabiki smiled devilishly- LOTS of
people would pay lots of money to be paired up with Akane for that one.
"Okay, people, that's all I have right now. I'm off to find some judges-
I'll let you know if there are any changes." And with that, the little
assembly broke up.

* * * * *

Ranma and Akane went home in complete silence, not really wanting to talk
about the duel, but not being able to think about anything else. When they
came home, however, they were mobbed by their parents and Kasumi.

"Ranma, Akane- Nabiki told us about the contest you are about to engage
in!" Soun cried enthusiastically, dancing up and down waving little fans.
Kasumi smiled.

"When is the happy day?" Genma asked, dancing with Soun. He was
immediately punted into the koi pond by Ranma, to become an instant panda.
Soun quickly followed him, sent there by Akane's fist.

"Is that any way to treat your fathers, you two?" Nodoka scolded. Akane
looked down- Nodoka had always seemed like a mother to her, almost as much
as Kasumi had, and to be berated by her this way hurt. Ranma looked down
as well- but not for the same reasons. "Now tell me about this contest
that I heard about- Nabiki wasn't very clear about it."

Ranma sighed. "Ask Akane about it. Its her duel." He walked past his
mother as she watched him. Everyone, even Kasumi, was shocked at Ranma's
attitude. Ranma didn't care much at that point- he wasn't even aware of
what he had said or the way he had acted. He was barely aware of the fact
he had kicked away his father. He had a lot on his mind. He went up to
his room and sat on his futon. A pig squeeled for his attention, but he
just ignored it.

* * * * *

Akane, while not quite as out of it as Ranma, also had lots of things to
think about. She also started to go to her room to think about the
contest, but then she stopped herself. 'Bah!' She thought. 'I don't have
time to think about this- I have several nights to do that. Right now,
I've got to practice my cooking!' And, with that, she headed to the
kitchen.

* * * * *

Back in Ranma's room, Ranma was lying on his cot, his eyes wide open. The
pig had long ago quit trying to get his attention, and was now dozing in
his cage. Ranma's door slid open, and Desaix walked in.

"Hey, Ranma... Kasumi told me you've been acting wierd since you got home.
Are you alright?" Desaix closed the door behind him.

Ranma sat up. "You could have warned me," he croaked.

"Sorry about that," Desaix shook his head. "She didn't tell me until after
you guys had left for school. At least I managed to get her to change her
original idea." Ranma looked at him with a question in his face. Desaix
smirked. "I don't have a clue how, but I did."

Ranma was loathe to ask the question, but he did anyway. "Um, what was her
original idea?" The pig woke up when it clearly heard Ranma's voice.

"Well... see, she wanted to come up with things that Akane and Azusa
wouldn't be as good at as she was- I'm pretty sure those two did as well.
The first one, the most virtuous girl, she is obviously able to do well in
by becoming Buriko. However, while she might yell at people or smash them
if they tell her she can't do something, she doesn't honestly believe she
can herself. In some cases, she really is good at it- she can sing and
cook a lot better than she gives herself credit for, for example,- but she
doesn't think she can, and so whenever she can avoid doing those things she
does. One of the few things which she really is good at and she KNOWS that
she's good at is... well... sex and seduction." The two humans in the room
blushed, and the pig tried to. "She also knew that some things which some
people might be able to do in private well cannot do it well in public...
so, her first idea was to have a contest for the most... er... 'passionate'
PUBLIC sexual encounter. It took a bit- basically, my saying that I would
leave for home without her if she insisted on keeping that set of rules. I
was worried she was going to call my bluff, too- she just stared at me
angrily for about five minutes before she finally relented to the 'most
passionate kiss.' I suppose it was a victory, of sorts, but I'm afraid she
will never look at me the same when B.B. again- at least she would act as
my friend SOMETIMES in that form... but now..." Desaix sighed very sadly,
looking depressed, and a light blue aura surrounded him. Then his face
brightened, and his eyes shined mischievously, and the aura collapsed into
a small ball the size of a marble, and disappeared inside him. Ranma
started to open his mouth, but Desaix spoke first. "At least there's one
advantage for YOU from all this." There was a tease in his voice. "YOU
get to kiss Akane without getting into trouble with all of your friends!"

The pig squealed loudly, and Ranma stuttered angrilly. "What- you! I...
Who said I would want to kiss that tomboy anyway? My friends have nothing
to do with whether I kiss her or not!" Desaix looked at him smiling him,
knowing otherwise, but he just shook his head and left the room as Ranma
continued to sputter out nonsense and the pig continued to make piggy
protests.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, Akane was battling some gelatinous monster in the kitchen.
'Unbelievable,' she told herself. 'Practice has made my cooking WORSE!'
The monster was fighting very well, and Akane was uncertain she could
defeat it.

Desaix, walking outside, heard a massive crash of pans coming from the
kitchen. He rushed in, and saw Akane battling something... wierd.

"What... the...." Desaix was dumfounded. The grey-green blob was about to
engulf Akane in its arm-like appendages.

"SHUT UP AND GET IT OFF ME!" Akane shouted. Desaix just shrugged.

"Uh, okay, fine..." Desaix pulled out his walking stick, extended it, and
proceeded to splatter the mass of rice, bean paste, and meat over the
floor. "Now, what was that?" Akane blushed.

"That... uh... was me practicing my cooking."

Desaix laughed. "Do you really think you can go from making something like
this," he gestured to the still twitching remnants splattered across the
kitchen, "to something which can beat out Azusa- who obviously picked
cooking for a reason, and Buriko- who, I can assure you, is a remarkable
chef despite her reluctance to make meals- in ONE DAY?" Akane's blush
became filled with anger in addition to the normal embarassment. "Look, I
know you probably really want to be thought of as a successful cook, but...
if I were you, I'd be thinking about the other contests." At the thought
pf the other events that were planned for the duel, her embarassment once
more overtook her anger. Desaix grabbed a towel and wiped his walking
stick clean. "Come on, let's clean this mess up before Kasumi or Nodoka
see it."

Akane smiled a friendly smile, but the concern was still in her eyes as she
opened the kitchen closet to pull out a mop.

* * * * *

B.B. was sitting in silence on her futon, which had recently been located
to Nabiki's room, wrapped up in a blanket. It had surprised everyone when
Nabiki had offered her room for FREE, but since the offer was made B.B.
accepted it.

At the moment, she was staring off into space blankly. Nabiki walked into
the room and looked at her. 'Hmm, I think I've seen that expression on
Akane before... but that doesn't strike me as a B.B.-like expression.
Maybe she's in her cursed form?' "Hey, Buriko," she verbalized.

B.B. snapped out of her thoughts. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" She did a
demon-head that reminded Nabiki a lot of her father.

"Er, sorry," Nabiki said. 'Desaix was right. Her cursed form and her
uncursed form REALLY don't like being mistaken for each other...' She
raised her hands defensively. "Uh, you looked for a moment like you were
in your 'cursed' form..."

B.B. sighed. "Well, I suppose I did. Someone recently... did something I
never thought they'd do, and it shocked me." She laughed sourly. "I
suppose I'm acting like an idiot..." 'What's bugging her?' Nabiki thought.
"Anyway, Nabs," B.B. continued, "You shouldn't call me by any name until
you know which personality I am." Nabiki wasn't sure she liked being
called 'Nabs' by this girl, but she decided she should accept it if she
wanted to deal with her.

In fact, Nabiki wasn't quite sure how to deal with this seemingly calmer,
friendlier B.B. She normally was very good at character assessment- that
was how she was always one step ahead of everyone else, normally- but the
B.B. she saw right now didn't seem anything like the B.B she was expecting.
But, she had offered free use of her room for a reason, so she'd better
spit it out.

"Say, you're new here... You wouldn't, by any chance, want a scouting
report on your competitors, would you? It might cost a little money,
but... since Akane and Azusa know each other somewhat, it would eliminate
at least some of their advantage..."

B.B.'s eyes sparkled, and she smiled wickedly. "Oh, probably. However, I
don't think it would help enough- especially if I become Buriko, which I
will tomorrow. Buriko would try to stop me if I tried to use that
information. HOWEVER, if I didn't know that information, but acted on it
anyway, what could I do to stop it?"

Nabiki blinked. She wasn't expecting something like this. "Er... I'm not
following you." She really hated admitting that.

B.B. laughed. "Lets just say that... I'm not worried about Azusa- talking
to her, I can tell she's too much of a ditz to be a threat. And if someone
were to bribe the judges on my behalf- not that I would do such a thing, of
course- the results of the competition could be voided. Now, if someone
was to stop Akane from performing well in tomorrows contests... AND if I
couldn't be connected to it... I might be willing to pay someone who could
do that plenty. Of course, I would only pay after she failed, but it might
be worth it. I won't pay if anyone got hurt, however- I may want to win
this contest, but I'm not ruthless... I'm not going to kill my friends, or
you sister, in order to steal a pig." Her smile went from wicked to
delirious. "Now, if it were that cute little Happy-chan... ooh, I just
want to squeeze his little cheeks..."

As B.B. babbled about 'Happy-chan,' Nabiki turned green. "Uh, yeah..." She
broke in. "I can't do anything about... Happosai... but I think I just
might be able to do something about Akane." 'What can I do? I don't
really need to worry about the cooking contest- Akane's just a horrendous
cook. I'd need to worry about the 'Virtue' contest and the 'Selling'
contest.' Hmm, that might work. I'd need to get some help, though...'

B.B. nodded. "Buriko will try to stop this tomorrow, so we'll negotiate
terms right now. There's a possible 9 points available tomorrow... I'm
willing to pay 18,000 yen. Every point Akane gets tomorrow, I'll deduct
2000. Deal?"

Nabiki grimaced. She prefered setting terms, but... "Okay, deal." She
could always overcharge for expenses...

"Oh, yeah, any 'expenses' you want to try and charge me I will cover...
provided you have a RECIEPT and I accept the REASON for that expense."
Buriko smirked. 'Damn,' Nabiki thought. 'There goes that idea.' "Ah,
well, I think I'd better get to bed. I've got a long day tomorrow," B.B.
continued. Nabiki nodded, and picked a jacket out of her closet as B.B.
settled into bed. She had the judges picked already, though when Akane
asked her where she was going that's what she said. No, she needed to make
it to the Nekohantan. Mousse owed her a favor...

* * * * *

Desaix relaxed in the hot water of the bathtub, eyes closed. He was, in
fact, half asleep. He probably would be entirely asleep, but he couldn't
get completely relaxed- his brow was furrowed in thought. 'B.B. will never
treat me the same, will she? I forced her to choose between something else
and me... at least she thought enough of me to choose me over a pig... but
I made her choose- she'll never forgive me for making her choose... why do
I care about B.B., though? Buriko is the personality I really love, B.B.
is just someone who shares her body... oh, what am I saying? I love B.B.
just as much, and I know it- that's why I can't help but do what she tells
me to do... aaargh!'

Unknown to Desaix, an escaped pig had slid open the door to the bathroom he
was in, and was jumping into the tub to change back into a human. The
splash startled him fully awake, and the sudden appearance of a Hibiki
surprised him. Seeing someone suddenly appear in his bath, Desaix
unleashed a furious blow at Ryouga's unprotected chest.

"OOF!" Ryouga gasped, eyes wide in surprise as Desaix's palm made contact.
He sailed back into the wall behind him, cracking the tiles.

"Oh, sorry Ryouga! Didn't recognize you! Are you okay?" Desaix said,
offering his hand, worried.

Ryouga, breathing in painfully, groaned as he was helped off the wet floor.
"Just fine. What was that?"

Desaix grimaced. "A Hard Iron Palm fist- the only technique with any power
that I can do without my weapon. Its normally just a conditioning
technique- you throw a palm into a tub of water a thousand times a day, and
after a couple of years your palms are 'as hard as iron.' I increased my
hand's toughness, though, through chi focusing and manipulations which I
read about in my temple's library. With these additions, it was supposed
to be a hard enough attack to shatter every bone in your body- are you sure
you're okay?"

Ryouga massaged his chest. "Uh, yeah, I've actually taken a harder
pounding without injury, but rarely has it been with just one blow- it
usually takes hundreds, and its usually Ranma with his Tenshin Amaguriken
or his Cat Fist."

Desaix raised his eyes. "Cat Fist? Ranma's trained in the CAT FIST?"

Ryouga nodded. "Yep. Most powerful fighting technique ever- it would make
him even more untouchable than he is now, if only he could control it,
but-"

"He can't use it and keep his senses. Yes, I know," Desaix interupted. "I
was doing a study of the sub-conscious, and ran across an analysis of its
strengths and weaknesses. Whoever taught him was either a complete fool or
was desperately looking for new techniques."

Ryouga smirked. "A bit of both I think- his father's a complete fool,
except when it comes to a desperate attempt to train Ranma every martial
arts technique and principle he can."

Desaix nodded. "Um, so why are you here, anyway?"

"Oh, just trying to stretch out a bit, and its a lot easier stretching when
I'm human and not pig." Ryouga stretched for show. Then his expression
got serious, and a little angry. "But... since you're here, what is this
about Ranma getting to kiss Akane?" As he said it, he moved from being a
little angry to very angry.

"Huh?" Suddenly, Desaix remembered that he'd made that joke to Ranma in
front of a certain squeeling pig. "Er... well, the final part of the duel
over you is the 'Most Passionate Kiss' contest. Akane's going to need a
partner for that..."

Ryouga's anger failed to leave him. "And just WHY does RANMA have to be
that partner? Why not, say, me?"

Desaix blinked. "Um... you're the prize."

"So?"

"Uh..." Suddenly, Ryouga was blasted across the room by a stream of cold
water. Desaix carefully turned the water back off (he didn't want to
change himself) and hung the nozzle back up on its rack before catching a
black bolt that was attempting to jump back into the bath. Carrying the
squeeling and scratching pig with him, Desaix moved into the changing room
and pulled on a robe (wincing when the pig bit him as he was changing
hands) and ran over to Ranma's room, locking the pig in its cage. As he
headed back into the bath, he sighed. 'Oh, gods, what next?'

* * * * *

"Let's see what you found..." A girl in the closest forest outside of
Nerima approached something her beloved pet and protector had discovered.
"Hmm, this seems familiar," she said as she picked up the scraps of
clothing. Then she saw the pack.

"OH! Katsunishiki, help me pick this stuff up." Akari and her giant sumo
pig slowly lifted the pack and the two hundred pound umbrella onto the
pig's back. "Now, Ryouga honey, I know you're lost- where did you go now?"
Then she smiled. "OF COURSE! You always end up at the Tendos' when you're
lost! Come on, Katsunishiki, we need to return Ryouga his clothes..."

* * * * *

"Looking good," B.B. said to herself, looking in a mirror after her morning
bath. Then she laughed. 'Why do I need to look good today? The Most
Virtuous Woman contest begins in an hour... hmm, better change.' She
turned the faucet on cold and splashed herself with it. "Oh, my!" she
gasped as she became Buriko.

* * * * *

Most of the day's judges had already arrived, and Desaix was talking
philosophically with some of the various priests. So far, none of the
contestants had shown up- Azusa was on her way, Akane was getting dressed
in her room, and Buriko was in the bathroom. Nabiki was on the phone, and
said something that caught Desaix's ear.

"...a cat. Yes, that's right Mousse, I said I wanted you to bring a cat
with you. You'll find the instructions taped to the light pole outside
your restaurant." Desaix was puzzled. 'Now why would she need a cat?
She's spending the whole day administering the contests. Today's contests
are the cooking, selling and most virtuous woman... why would a cat be
needed for any of them?'

He was distracted by someone tapping him on the shoulder. He turned and
saw a slightly damp Buriko, in a modest dress (it looked like she borrowed
one of Nabiki's school uniforms), with a somewhat worried expression on her
face. 'Uh oh,' Desaix thought. 'What'd B.B. do now?'

"Desaix? Can I talk to you for a second?" Uh, huh. He'd seen that look
before.

"Uh, sure. Will you excuse me, Father?" Desaix asked the Catholic priest
he was talking to. The old man nodded, and Desaix quickly stepped aside
with Buriko. "Okay, what'd B.B. do now?" Desaix whispered.

Buriko sighed. "Well, she hired Nabiki to ruin Akane's matches today- 2000
yen per point Akane loses."

"How would Nabiki do that?"

Buriko shrugged. "I don't know- B.B. told Nabiki to come up with a plan on
her own... Can you try and stop her, though?" Desaix sighed and nodded.
Buriko gave him a brief hug, causing him to blush, as she said "Thanks!
I'm so sorry that I get you into these messes- first B.B. gets you in
trouble with me, then I get you in trouble with B.B., then B.B. get's you
in trouble with your friends or with your fellow priests- I don't know why
you put up with me!"

Desaix, unable to respond, merely nodded again. Then he turned away and
left- he couldn't be looking at her if he wanted to concentrate, and right
now he needed to figure out just what Nabiki could do against Akane.

* * * * *

While that brief conversation was going on, Akane had just finished
dressing in her room when she heard a knock on her door. "Who is it?" she
asked.

After a few seconds, "Its me," Ranma's voice said hesitantly. "Can I come
in?" Akane blinked. Since when did Ranma try to enter her room through
the door and not the window?

"Uh, sure, Ranma. Come on in- I didn't lock the door." After a few
seconds, the door squeeked open and Ranma walked in.

Ranma put a hand behind his head. "Hi, Akane. I... just wanted to wish
you luck in the today's contests. You can easily win this tournament, I
think... just believe in yourself..." 'God, that sound's so corny and
insincere... she probably thinks I'm treating her like a child...' Ranma
thought.

'Does this have anything to do with the kissing contest?' Akane thought.
Aloud, she said "Uh, thank you, Ranma. That... means a lot to me..."

Ranma continued to hesitate. "I also wanted to say that... well... I think
I'm not going to be able to help you today. You have that 'Most Virtuous
Woman' contest, and, well, since we can't seem to get along for very long
without fighting, I thought that it might be best if I made myself scarce-
better than just getting you angry in front of the judges, like I'd
probably do otherwise..."

Suddenly, Akane's aura flared. "Is this just some way to get out of eating
my cooking?" 'That jerk! And here I was, thinking he was trying to be
nice to me!'

"THAT'S NOT IT!" Ranma shouted. Then he sighed. "That's not it at all...
in fact, if you want, I'll come by for that part of the competition... but
I think that just proved my point." Akane blushed. "If you want me...
I'll check up on you occasionally- er, not neccesarily in person."

"I..." Akane sighed. "Again, thank you, Ranma. And... I know my cooking
stinks. You don't have to try it today..."

'Oh, god, I can't believe I'm going to say this,' Ranma thought, but
looking at the downcast Akane he had to do something. "Akane, you're
cooking doesn't always stink- you've gotten a lot better. Oh, sure, it'll
still occasionally come to life and try to take over the world or
whatever-" Akane growled. "-but you CAN make at least one good dish. If
you make that curry I... like, then you can BET I'll be there." 'Well, at
least I can survive that curry without major stomache cramps... and its
best for her not to poison the judges.'

"I... I will Ranma... thanks!" Akane smiled at Ranma, and his heart
melted. 'Damn,' he thought. 'If I don't get out of here soon, I'll never
leave...' And so, saying his goodbyes, he left. Akane blinked.

'That was RANMA, wasn't it?' she asked herself.

* * * * *

Desaix sat on the roof, still pondering the question of what Nabiki could
do against Akane. 'Well, she could kill her or arrange her death... but I
doubt she would do that to her own sister. Also, I think I can eliminate
her doing anything specific about the cooking contest. That leaves the
selling contest... gods only know the number of things she could do there-
I couldn't stop them all... and the virtuousity contest... hmm, now what
could Nabiki do to show Akane's LACK of virtue? I just wish I knew her
better... if I only knew her strengths and weaknesses...'

As he was thinking this, he saw Ranma leave the dojo and go racing off
along the fence only moments before Azusa showed up. 'Wait a minute- I
might not know all of her weaknesses, but I do know of at least one- Ranma.
Now, how could she use Ranma against Akane?' A flashback to the
conversation Nabiki was having on the phone struck him. 'Cats... what is
it about cats again?'

"Oh GODS!" he said aloud.

* * * * *

Mousse looked at the instructions that Nabiki had left him. He could
hardly believe what he was reading, so he asked Cologne to read it for him.

"It says here that Nabiki will forgive you your debts if you pick up a cat
and drive Ranma into the Cat Fist, and THEN lead him to wherever Akane is."

"Er, that's what I thought..." Mousse frowned. "I suppose its worth it...
but... where would I find a cat?"

Cologne smirked. 'Well, I can't have Nabiki holding things over my
employee's head, and Shampoo has been antsy ever since she stopped
son-in-law's wedding...' "I have an idea, if you're willing to take it,
Mousse..."

* * * * *

Desaix, dressed in his sweatsuit, burst into Ranma's room with a teapon and
a bucket. He pulled the pig of contention out of his cage and splashed
him with the hot water, a panicked expression on his face.

"Quick, Ryouga, where does Mousse work?"

"Uh, the Nekohantan, I think-" Ryouga began.

"Well, where is the Nekohantan?"

"Er," Ryouga hesitated, "Why?"

"Its important, okay? It very well could be life or death!"

"Um, uh, I THINK that its... er... you'd probably better ask someone
else..."

"Oh, never mind." Desaix splashed Ryouga with the water from the bucket
and locked him back up in his cage. He ran right out the door, still
holding the bucket.

'Now what was that all about?' Ryouga wondered.

* * * * *

Akane opened the first set of cards Nabiki had given her to sell. She had
been really kind to her, even suggesting a good place to sell them. That
had prompted Akane to ask Nabiki what was up, and she had said "Well, I do
want them all sold- I mean, I am held responsible for their sale, and I do
make money on every card sold!" Akane figured that, alone, was enough
motivation for Nabiki to try and help her.

As she looked through the set, however, Akane's opinion of her sister's
motives changed. "OOOH! NABIKI!" Akane blushed as she wondered how she
was going to sell a bunch of cards with pictures of naked men and women on
them to a Catholic Church group.

Her following judges all took a small note in their respective notepads
regarding Akane's angry outburst.

* * * * *

"GIVE AZUSA BACK HER GIUSEPPE!" Akane said, pulling the greeting card with
the panda on it away from Hinako.

"Delinque-" Azusa bashed her before she could pull out her coin, knocking
her out.

The Shinto priest turned to his Buddhist and Catholic associates. "Um, can
we agree that... this isn't quite... virtuous behavior?" They nodded
slowly.

* * * * *

Desaix ran into the kitchen, looking for Kasumi. Instead, he found Nodoka.

"Mrs. Saotome," Desaix began, "Do you know where Mousse works? Its
important."

Nodoka thought about it for a moment. "Well, I know that the name of the
restaurant is the Nekohantan, if that helps. Unfortunately, I've never
actually been there, so I'm not sure where exactly that is."

Desaix sighed. "Then I guess I'll have to find him in the air..." Pulling
some balloons out of the pocket of his jeans, he filled them with hot and
cold water, and grabbed a bucket. "Er, excuse me..." Desaix said to Nodoka
as he entered the open kitchen closet. Out of sight, he stripped off his
clothes, wrapping the black sweatsuit around his walking stick, and tied on
the two balloons as well. Then he raised the bucket over his head, and
sighed before tipping it onto himself. For the first time in several
weeks, he felt the old feeling of his guts turning inside out as he shrank
and grew the wings of a large raven. Picking the walking stick up into his
claws, Desaix lifted up off the ground and into the air, passing a
surprised Nodoka in the kitchen as he flew out the kitchen door. Maybe,
from overhead, he could find Ranma before it was too late.

* * * * *

Akane had finally succeeded in selling all of the cards with nude scenes on
them- all the female nudes she was able to sell to Hiroshi and Daisuke (it
surprised her that they had the money to sell such things, but it did not
surprise her that they were interested) but the male nudes took a bit more
doing. Not wanting to be caught in possession of such... explicit...
pictures by someone she knew, she settled on selling them at the St.
Hebereke School for Girls. It took a lot longer finding people who had
that taste in photographs, but after several hours she managed to sell off
all the nude male cards.

However, she had a whole new box to open- which meant she had one hundred
more cards to sell. Looking at the pictures, Akane raised a primal scream
so furious that her observers quaked with fear and people passing her on
the street ran for thier lives.

The next set of cards were pictures of two people only, and they rarely
showed anything quite as explicit as the first set. However, Akane quickly
decided that she needed to try to work on the other contests and hope that
selling her first hundred would be enough for second place, as she really
didn't want MORE pictures of her and Ranma circulating than there already
were.

One of the priests, recovering from the shock of her scream, wandered over
to see what it was that had set her off so. Needless to say, the
impression he got when he saw the pictures was not very favorable.

* * * * *

She knew she could have probably done it faster under different conditions,
but Buriko was happy she had finished as quickly as she did. It made
sense, to her, to sell the panda and kitten postcards to a parents group-
only parents and kids would want to buy something so
sweet-and-sappy-looking, and only parents could afford it. She knew,
however, that she probably could have sold them a lot easier as B.B.

At the moment, she was headed back to the Tendo's to turn Nabiki's money in
to her. Her observers were talking amongst themselves, all seemingly
feeling good about the demure and pleasant young woman before them.

She stopped when she heard a baby crying desperately not far away. "Oh,
my," she said. "I wonder what's wrong!"

As Buriko ran off to see what the cause was of the wailing, her three
observers smiled to themselves. Unless the other two women in this contest
were able to prove EXCEPTIONAL virtue, Buriko had just won this round.

* * * * *

"You realize she's sold, named, stolen, resold, renamed, and restolen all
of her cards three times?" The Catholic priest following Azusa asked his
companions.

"Er, I counted four..." the Shinto priest corrected. The Bhuddist priest
merely nodded.

"Uh, I don't think that any of us want her to win, do we?" The others
nodded in agreement with their Catholic equivalent. "Then- URK!"

"GIVE AZUSA BACK HER DOMINIQUE!" Azusa screamed, grabbing the cross off of
the poor priest's neck and yanking, choking him badly. The other two
merely stared in disbelief.

* * * * *

Soaring over the city, Desaix saw Akane, who was standing outside of St.
Hebereke School for Girls, screaming her lungs off about something, Azusa,
who was being pried off of one of the priests by the other two following
her, and Buriko comforting a distraught young mother of four. 'You know,
Buriko's probably won the virtue contest whether I stop Nabiki's plan or
not, but... I do need to stop the collateral damage...' Finally, he
spotted Ranma- being entangled in chains by someone. Desaix swooped down
for a better look.

"Mousse, what're you doing this for? I've stayed away from Shampoo since
she ruined the wedding, and you've never had any grudge against me over
anything other than her affection!" Ranma was shouting, as he struggled in
the chains.

"I am grateful for that, Saotome, but someone has required me to perform a
service for them in repayment for a loan. I must entice you into the
Neko-Ken, and then lead you to Akane, so as to cause her to fail some
'contest of virtue.'" He pulled a thrashing cat out of his long robes, and
started approaching Ranma slowly.

Desaix, watching this, was struggling to remember which of the water
balloons was filled with hot water and which was filled with cold.
Colorblind in his cursed form and unable to feel temperature with his beak
or claws, Desaix finally panicked and decided just to pick at random.
Picking through the string which held it on, he tossed the balloon up into
the air and hit it with his beak. The water had cooled some, but was still
warm enough to change him back into a human. Quickly pulling on his
clothing, Desaix picked up his walking stick and re-assessed the situation.

By this point, Ranma had succeeded in breaking out of the chains. Mousse,
however, was holding a purple cat up in Ranma's face, causing him to flap
his arms in panic. Desaix started to run at Mousse, holding the cold water
balloon in his non-fighting hand.

"I can't let you do this, Mousse!" Desaix cried. Mousse turned in
surprise, but it was too late. By the time Desaix was close enough for him
to feel comfortable throwing the balloon, Ranma was already changed.

"Just who are-" Mousse began, but was sent into the stratosphere, still
holding Shampoo-Neko, as Neko-Ranma struck out at his tormenter. Desaix
looked at Ranma, and the cat-like Ranma looked back at Desaix.

'Oh gods...' Desaix thought- again.

* * * * *

Buriko had just left the poor young mother after her husband had finally
shown up, and was once again on her way back to the Tendo's. She heard a
whistling sound shortly before something landed in front of her- HARD.

"Oh, my!" Buriko cried as she ran forward to find out what it was which
had fallen. Stopping just before she stepped on a STRONG pair of glasses,
she helped the poor man who had just flown into the cement sidewalk to his
feet, handing him his glasses. A few seconds later, a panicked cat came
flying down as well. Buriko just managed to catch it before it fell onto
the ground. Without even looking at the cat, Buriko helped Mousse to his
feet.

* * * * *

Ranma-neko pounced at Desaix. Desaix whipped out his walking stick,
pressing the button to strike at just the right point to deflect the
attack, knocking Ranma away. However, one claw slashed the stick right in
the middle. Desaix stared at the steel extension of his hand-made weapon,
noting the claw marks in it. He retracted the extension, and turned to
face Ranma armed with just a water balloon. 'Fighting him is useless, and
without someone who he truly loves, he cannot be controlled, but... one
splash, I only need one splash- the change should be enough to shake him
out of it, even if the water is not.'

Ranma-neko leapt again, but Desaix jumped over him his outstretched hand
and threw the water balloon. One of Ranma's fists slashed Desaix's legs at
the same time as the balloon hit Ranma's face. The fist, on the upswing,
knocked Desaix in the direction of Mousse and Shampoo, while the balloon,
on the downswing, completely soaked Ranma from head to toe, changing him
instantly into a very confused redheaded girl staring at some figure flying
off into the sky.

"What just happened?" Ranma-chan asked no-one in particular.

* * * * *

After making sure the man who fell from the sky was okay, Buriko turned her
attention to the cat she was holding. She stroked it soothingly, much to
the cat's dismay, before she said anything. What she said surprised
everyone around her.

"Oh, my. Its... its... PUR-ple!" She squeeled part of the last word. As
the priests following her looked on in shock and the two fallen objects
looked at her in confusion, a third object started to fall from the sky.

"AAAAAAAGH! <CRASH>" Desaix screamed.

"Why were you flying that way, Dez?" Buriko asked Desaix sweetly, holding
the cat closely. Before he could reply, she lifted the cat in front of her
saying "Look, its PUR-ple."

Desaix shook his head knowingly. "That it is, Buriko, that it is." He
turned to the priests. "Keep an eye on her for me, will you? She kind of
goes into a trance around purple things..." Desaix whispered. The three
priests all nodded slowly, not quite sure what was going on. Turning back
to Buriko, he continued louder "Why don't you look after that cat and not
let it escape. I want to talk to its owner here, and you'll need to give
it back to him when we get back, but you can hold onto it until I return,
okay?"

She snorted. "You don't need to patronize me, you sexist pig!" She
lightly slapped him on the shoulder.

Desaix, however, merely nodded at her words and action- that was rather
tame for her- there was no need to apologize to the judges for her.
Grabbing Mousse tightly by the shoulder, he said "Come on, Mousse, you and
I need to have a little talk..." Desaix dragged the still slightly dazed
Mousse away from the scene and into a nearby alleyway.

By the time they got there, Mousse had recovered enough to speak. "Who are
you, and how do you know my name?"

Desaix smiled- sort of. He was trying to cover up the wince of pain which
he instinctually gave when he stepped wrong on the foot Ranma had clipped,
but Mousse saw through it.

"I am the designated protector of that woman who's cradling your cat right
now," Desaix began, his smile unconsciously growing genuine as he said it.
"Her name is Buriko- or B.B, depending on... er, what she wants you to call
her. We are staying at the Tendo's while we search for... someone who
lives her, and she was the one who hired Nabiki to ruin Akane's chances in
this competition. She has changed her mind- and furthermore your part in
this is now irrelevant, as Akane has basically blown it on her own. I
can't let you continue to try to put Ranma into the cat fist- that will
cause too much collateral damage, which will in turn cause too much of a
feeling of guilt in Buriko, for me to allow it."

Mousse shrugged. "I don't see how you could stop me, whatever your name
is- I am a master of the Hidden Weapons, and you would stand no chance
against me."

Desaix smirked. "Probably. But you would have to kill me in order to do
so- and do you really want to kill me for something so pointless?"

Mousse raised an eyebrow- not that it could be seen behind his extremely
thick glasses. "You would die for this?" He had occasionally considered
fighting to the death for Shampoo, but rarely for something as...
trivial... as this seeming practical joke. But he seemed truly willing- he
had already been wounded trying to stop him once. Perhaps... "I can
respect you for that, but this is important to me- Nabiki will forgive me
all of my debts for doing this, and with all the money I have borrowed from
her for presents for my beloved Shampoo, that amounts to a lot of money.
Perhaps you would be willing to help me repay them..."

Desaix sighed. It figured that anything B.B. would get him involved with
would cost him money. "How much do you owe her?" He asked wearily.

"Uh... 56,241 yen. And yes, she won't round down- but all I want is enough
to keep her from increasing my interest rates for my, er, failure."

Desaix nodded. Knowing B.B. had found a way to get people to owe her much
more, that figure seemed insignificant. "Sure!" Desaix pulled out 60,000
yen and handed it to Mousse. "Keep the change!" As wealthy as B.B. had
made the temple, he had been able to obtain a lot of travelling money- in
fact, he had obtained more than enough to set up his own temple if he
wanted (something which had been suggested to him if Happosai failed to
calm B.B.'s ferocious carnal appetite) so the money meant nothing to him,
as he didn't really want to set up his own temple. 'Bah, if I can't return
to the temple, I think I'll return to Kyoto to live with mom, or maybe I'll
head back to America and see if I can find my father's family. I'm
beginning to get sick of being a homeless priest...'

Mousse looked at the money in surprise. In truth, he only wanted a couple
thousand yen- this would allow him to pay Nabiki back AND buy Shampoo a
present...

Wait a minute, what was it about Shampoo...

"Uh, I think maybe we should rescue my, er, cat, from your... charge."

* * * * *

Shampoo had finally been released by Buriko's clutches- for the first time
in her life, she understood why, exactly, Ranma seemed to hate it when she
glomped him. Buriko apologized for her actions ("Sorry- cute purple things
seem to drive me a bit loony") and, with Desaix walking beside explaining
in a voice too low for the three observers to hear what had happened,
resumed her journey to the Tendo Dojo. By the time they arrived, Nabiki
had left to obtain the ingredients that everyone would need for the cooking
contest. Desaix excused himself and left for his room.

When he got there, he pulled out of his baggage a first aid kit, and pulled
out a lot of gauze bandages, a towel, and some hydrogen pyroxide. He
rolled up the cuff of his pants, revealing to the world the damage Ranma's
blow had done. Four very deep cuts ran down his lower leg, and much of the
blood was soaked into his dark pants leg. He soaked a part of the towel in
a fire bucket, and used it to clear away the rest before disinfecting the
wounds with the hydrogen pyroxide. Ranma slid open the door just as Desaix
opened his eyes, which had been closed so tight as to allow a single tear
to be squeezed out.

"Hi, I stopped by the house to see if the cooking contest had started yet,
and when I heard you were here, I decided I'd check and see if you were
alri- oh my god, did I do that?!" Ranma exclaimed when he turned around
from sliding the door closed.

Desaix wiped up the excess disinfectant with the towel as he nodded.
"Don't worry about it- you weren't yourself." He started nimbly dressing
the wounds with the bandages.

"Er, do you have any idea what all that was about?"

Desaix nodded. "Yes."

Ranma raised his eyebrows. "Are you going to tell me?"

Desaix sighed as he finished bandaging his leg, and rolled the sticky pants
leg down. "B.B. hired Nabiki to ruin Akane's chances in the contests
today. Buriko, this morning, warned me and asked me to stop it. It took
me a while to figure out what Nabiki was going to do... and when I did, it
was too late to stop Mousse. She was planning to have the guy lure you to
Akane, so that you would, um, express your subconscious feelings for her."

Ranma blinked. "Huh?"

Desaix smirked, standing up and testing his leg. "Don't worry about it.
The cooking contest will start soon- you'd better get prepared. If I'm not
mistaken, you'll have to eat Akane's cooking shortly. And may the gods
have mercy on your soul."

* * * * *

The last event of the day was about to begin. Nabiki, Akane, and Azusa had
all returned. The winner of the selling contest had already been
announced- Azusa had won easily because she was not only able to sell all
of the cards she had been given, but she had been able to steal them back
and sell them 6 times more, meaning that she had sold the most cards.
Buriko came in second, with Akane a distant third. Noting the problem that
Akane had had with the contest, Desaix sighed- he had failed once again to
help Buriko. 'Oh, why does she put up with my incompetence?'

Nabiki was explaining the specifics of the contest- the only contest of the
day which she felt her intervention was unneccesary to force Akane to fail.
After all, as bad as Akane cooked, anything she did to try to ruin Akane
would only be able to help her.

"Okay, people, this is the drill. When this contest starts, I'll let you
all into the kitchen. On a long table in the kitchen are a number of
ingredients, laid out for easy access. Everyone grabs ten items, and you
all have three hours in which to turn those ingredients- and, of course,
any tap water you want to use, into a delicious-" She paused to look at
Akane with a smirk. Akane humphed angrily in defiance. "-meal for your
partners and the nine guest judges." Ranma looked mighty nervous, but when
Akane began to move to look at him he forced all his fears to leave his
face. A remarkable feat which only Desaix noticed- as he was the only one
paying attention. Kasumi came out of the kitchen and whispered something
to Nabiki, who nodded in response. "Okay, people, the contest begins...
NOW!"

Akane, Azusa, and Buriko all ran into the kitchen, and Nabiki and Kasumi
soon joined them. Azusa went wild.

"OH, HOW CUTE! Juneau, Juneau!" Azusa grabbed a watermelon. Akane
slipped in to grab the curry powder and some chicken pieces. Azusa
continued going wild, screaming "Robespierre! Robespierre! Come to Azusa,
Robespierre!" as she grabbed a package of tofu. Buriko grabbed some fresh
fish, some tempora flakes, and a package of rice. "Poirot! Poirot!" Azusa
grabbed a link of fish sausage. Akane grabbed a few tomatoes and her own
package of rice. "Lafontaine! Lafontaine!" "Marquis! Marquis!" "Jean
Claude! Jean Claude!" Azusa grabbed some celephane noodles, some bean
paste, and a bottle of syrup. Akane and Buriko both grabbed a bottle of
cooking wine and Akane grabbed some all-spice and some oregano. Akane
surveyed the ingredients she had collected with surprise. She'd wanted the
fish sausage and the tofu, but the only sets of those were already taken by
Azusa, so she decided she had everything she needed. Buriko, meanwhile,
also grabbed some diced chicken that Akane had missed and a package of
eggs.

Akane had had a very rough day, trying to sell all those cards Nabiki had
given her, and so decided she wanted to relax while cooking. Therefore,
instead of setting the temperature to high and keeping it there for the
entire 3 hours she had to cook, she would turn the temperature down to
medium\low, and relax. Oh, sure, it would take longer, but she needed the
break.

Azusa was unwilling to cook all the cute things she had collected off of
the table, and so left the house. Mikado ran after her, to hopefully
explain to her that the ingredients were needed for other things ("If you
don't cook them, then you'll never win the contest. If you don't win the
contest, you'll lose your precious Charlotte!") but Ranma noted that, with
her gone and (despite Mikado) unlikely to return, Akane had almost
certainly gained two points- provided she made something that didn't kill.
So, for the first time ever while cooking, she relaxed.

Buriko, on the other hand, decided to make a multi-course meal. First, she
made some fish tempora, then some rice cakes. Finally, she decided she'd
make a few pieces of okonamiyaki.

Then came the time for the taste test. Ranma stood before Akane's curry,
and couldn't quite keep the nervousness out of his face. As he hesitated,
Akane grew angry.

"RANMA!" She berated loudly, in front of all nine priests. "YOU PROMISED
YOU WOULD EAT MY COOKING IF-"

Ranma, snapped out of his worry and a little angry at Akane's lack of
trust, lashed back. "I WILL!" With that, he defiantly grabbed a bowl of
rice and spooned the curry over it. Grabbing a spoon, he dug into the food
and raised it up to his mouth.

His mouth open, he held it less than an inch away from his face before he
remembered what it was he was doing. He froze in shock. Akane looked even
more annoyed, and forced the spoon into Ranma's mouth.

Ranma blinked, pulling the empty spoon out of his mouth. Cautiously, he
took another bite of the food. Akane's expression changed from one of
anger to hope. Ranma's changed from one of fear to absolute confusion.

"Well?" Akane asked, unable to take anymore.

Ranma opened his mouth, not quite unable to get out the words. He tried
again. "Its..." The hope was about to change back into anger when Ranma
tried for a third time. "Words fail to describe..." He quickly shovelled
a spoonful of the curry into Akane's mouth, before she could react. She
blinked.

"I cooked THAT!?" She said, disbelieving. One right after the other, all
the priests began grabbing their own bowls of curry and eating, and they
all gave aproving nods and compliments. When Desaix took a bite of the
food, he grew concerned. 'This very well could win it,' he thought.

Then Desaix tried Buriko's meal, and he was just as uncertain. He felt
that Buriko's was better, but he was also aware of his own biases.
Whatever the vote, it would be close.

Ranma steadily defended Akane's curry. It was the first time he had ever
tasted something she had made that was better than just 'normal,' and it
was a lot better than Buriko's okonamiyaki... but then again, he was
comparing Buriko's okonamiyaki to Ukyo's, which was like comparing
Hershey's chocolate to Godiva. The other judged had never sampled Ucchan's
Okonamiyaki, and so were unaware of how good okonamiyaki could be. Ranma
did end up admitting that the rice cakes and the tempora were 'pretty
good,' but he stated with all sincerity that he felt he had never eaten
anything better than that bowl of curry.

'I've gotta remember how I did that,' Akane thought to herself. Nabiki,
having tasted both, was very worried- they were both equally good, and the
vote could go either way. In the end, however (in part because she put
some pressure on the deciding judge, showing him a photograph she had taken
of him which would definitely have ejected him from his position as a
priest) Buriko won. Ranma nearly went ballistic, but Akane just collapsed
into a heap. Except against Ranma, she had never done this poorly in a
competition before- she knew (hearing about Buriko helping the poor mother
of four) that she had essentially lost any hope of coming in first in the
contest of virtue, and her reluctance to sell Nabiki's cards cost her any
points in the 'best salesman' competition, so when she had heard this
praise of her cooking, she felt for certain that THIS would be the event
which would help her close in. She had lost all hope.

What was worse, though, was when she overheard (through a cracked doorway)
the judges comments on her virtue.

"Well, we all saw that Akane is very explosive- has no compunction
whatsoever against yelling at a man for no reason other than a slight
hesitation, or force-feeding him if he moves too slow. And Father Maurice
over there saw her holding photographs of herself in very... provocative
poses. And, if that's not enough, I could have sworn that she was
eavesdropping on the conversation several girls were having at St.
Hebereke's."

"All true," another one, rubbing a raw line along his neck, said, "But...
Azusa was pretty bad too. I mean, she stole EVERYTHING she saw- she even
tore the cross right off of me!"

"Perhaps, but she has such a pleasant personality, even if she is a bit of
a kleptomaniac. Akane was rude, obnoxious, and downright insulting to any
male she met. AND we all saw it."

The debate continued from there, but Akane couldn't bear to hear it. She
knew that, despite the man who wanted Azusa to win, she had already lost.
The vote was being taken as the speakers were making their comments, and
she saw the number of people nodding in agreement whenever the first priest
identified her as the least virtuous. She ran upstairs to her room, in
tears, passing by Nabiki as she ran (Nabiki felt a little guilty looking at
Akane's face, but she hadn't let her conscience get the better of her
before, so she wouldn't know) and collapsed into her bed, in tears.

A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door, much like the one
she had heard the previous night. When there was no response, the knock
was made louder, and louder still. Suddenly, the door burst open, and a
very worried looking Ranma burst in.

"Ah! You're okay, good. I was worried you were kidnapped again, and I
don't really feel up to a rescue today..." Ranma noticed that Akane wasn't
paying any attention to him- even though her eyes were wide open and
staring straight at him, she hadn't even noticed that he had come into the
room. He then noted further that her face was streaked with dried tears,
and she was sniffling quietly. Ranma was purplexed- he hadn't ever seen
her like this. What had set her off so? Ranma reached down and gently
shook Akane by the shoulder, saying "Akane, are you-"

Akane put him in a wrist lock and threw him against a wall. Then she
blinked, and bit her lip in shame. "Oh, I'm so sorry Ranma! I didn't know
it was you..." Then she paused to consider things for a minute. "Wait a
minute! Why are you here?!"

Crunched against the wall, Ranma smiled inwardly. 'Good, I was able to
spark the fire back into Akane. Now... maybe I should try to do something
before I anger her enough to mallet me...' He stood up slowly and reached
for the back of his neck unconsciously. "Um, uh... I came to let you know
the final results of the virtue competition, and when you didn't respond to
my knocking on the door, I decided to make sure you were... uh, were in
here. Um, are you okay? You were crying when I came in here."

Akane stood up off her bed and began stomping towards Ranma angrily. "I
WAS NOT CRYING!"

Ranma sighed, and grabbed one of Akane's hand mirrors, turning it towards
her. "You weren't?" Akane saw her reflection, sighed, and sat back down
in her bed, head in hands. "What's wrong, Akane?"

"I overheard the judges talking about me... I lost, didn't I?" Ranma
nodded slowly. "I thought so.... Am I really all that bad? I've lost- I
lost everything today. I cooked better than I ever have before- not even
the Water of Life made my food taste that good- and I still am not good
enough to win that contest. I couldn't sell enough post cards to even be
competitive. I even lost out to a kleptomaniac and a PROSTITUTE in having
virtue. I've lost the contest already... I've lost my precious P-Chan.
I've lost everything today!"

Ranma bit his lip in sympathy up until she mentioned P-Chan, when he
reflexively bit down harder. He controlled the pain enough to keep from
yelping or shouting, and then relaxed. He looked at Akane's face, in which
fresh tears were starting to form. He needed to do something now, before
she started crying again.

"Akane... stop this. You haven't lost everything. It wasn't you, anyways-
Nabiki was trying to get you to lose. B.B. hired her to get you to lose.
It might have been worse, but Buriko warned Desaix, and he stopped some of
her plans."

"But I still lost!" Akane cried some more.

"Like I said before, you still haven't lost everything." Akane looked at
him angrily.

"LIKE WHAT? What haven't I lost?"

Ranma looked at her sadly. "You haven't lost anything." Akane's
expression didn't lighten at all.

"Name one thing I haven't lost! Tell me something which matter that I
still have!" Akane shouted, not believing him.

Ranma was about to say something, but choked on his own words. Akane dared
him to say something with the anger in her eyes, and he took the challenge.
"Akane, you still haven't lost this contest- I think that if you try, you
can still win it. But you won't believe that, so I will tell you one thing
you haven't lost." For the first time in his life, Ranma had the
confidence to say what was truly on his mind to Akane. "You haven't
lost... me." With that, he turned around and left the room, closing the
door behind him.

Akane, meanwhile, was too shocked to recover from her facefault.

* * * * *

It was the first night of the 2nd Charlotte Cup, and everyone in the Tendo
residence was up and about. Ryouga, in pig form, had just escaped from his
cage again, and was wandering the dojo in search of some hot water and a
change of clothes so as to find out what had happened earlier in the day.
Akane was in her room, wondering what had come over Ranma just a few hours
beforehand. Ranma was on the roof wondering the same thing. Soun, Genma,
Kasumi, and Nodoka were all in the living room playing poker (amazingly,
despite her apparent ignorance of the game, Kasumi seemed to always win)
and drinking sake. Nabiki was making some final adjustments to her plans
for tomorrow's contests. Desaix was in the kitchen with a teapot, heating
water for Buriko.

"So why should I become B.B. now, exactly?" Buriko asked angrily.

Desaix turned around to face her, secretly gritting his teeth as his weight
shifted onto the leg he had injured when he stopped Ranma's cat fist
earlier that day.

"Well, for a few reasons. For one thing, I know she's going to be mad at
me for trying to stop her from cheating in the contests today, even if it
was you who asked me to do so. I would rather face her anger when I know
that its her, and not when I'm not certain if she's in control of that body
of yours or if you are." Buriko nodded at this. "Besides, Nabiki wants to
talk to B.B. before the contests tomorrow, so..."

"Ah, I see. I'm really sorry I've gotten you in trouble with B.B., Dez-
especially when I did so for no reason."

Desaix smiled at that. "Don't worry about it. After all, I'M the one who
failed today- you did great, even without the cheating Nabiki was doing for
you. And I wouldn't say it was for no reason- after all, I stopped Ranma's
cat fist from going on a wild rampage throughout Nerima. Its just that the
reason wasn't what we had intended it to be." The teapot whistled, and
Desaix quickly grabbed it off the stove. After pouring some of it into the
already half-full glass of room-temperature water he had set aside, he
turned to Buriko slowly. "Ready?" She closed her eyes and nodded. Desaix
set the teapot down, and picked up the glass. Raising it over her head, he
slowly turned his wrist.

Splash, and B.B. opened her eyes, a fiery anger set in them. "WHY DO YOU
EVEN LISTEN TO ME WHEN I'M IN THAT FORM! WHY DO I PUT UP WITH YOU!" She
pulled out her Mallet O'Chi, and smashed Desaix with it. He hadn't even
tried to block, and when the mallet came down it knocked him out- and sent
him flying against the kitchen cupboards, sliding down to the floor head
first. His legs were suspended in the air, and B.B.'s always observant
eyes caught something which Buriko had missed before. To make sure,
however, she went closer. Then she felt the leg of his pants- they seemed
very stiff and brittle. She rolled them up (or, in this case, down) a bit,
and caught sight of the gauze bandages. Curious, she removed some of the
bandages to see what the problem was.

'Hmm, looks like a giant cat reached out and scratched him. Wait a minute-
giant CAT!? What was it that he had stopped Ranma from doing? Attacking
the city with his cat fist? Then that means that I- er, Buriko- sent him
to do something which...' Shaking that particular line of thought from her
head, she looked at Desaix's injury for a second before replacing the
bandages and sliding him away from the counter so as to allow him to
recover easier. Then she turned her mind to more worldly matters. 'Didn't
I tell Nabiki no-one was supposed to get hurt for this contest? I need to
have a little talk with her about our arrangement...'

* * * * *

There was a knocking on the front of the Tendo's door. "I'll get it!"
Kasumi said, leaping up from her massive pile of yen coins and heading to
open the door. "Hello, can I help y- oh, my!" the three adults playing
with her heard.

Soun, knowing that her little 'Oh, my!' could have meant that anyone from a
mailman carrying a package to the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse could be
at the door, hesitantly decided to run and see who it was. What he saw
astounded him.

"Is my darling little Ryouga here?" the innocent looking girl riding what
could have been one of the aforementioned Horsemen's mounts, had it been a
horse and not a giant pig, asked politely. A much smaller piglet, in a
different room, did a piggy-facefault when he heard that voice coming
through the walls. "I found his backpack and some of his other things in
the middle of the woods, and I know he always winds up here when he gets
lost, so I figured I would come here looking for him!"

Soun smirked. "Ah, well, I don't think he's here right now, but I know he
could show up at any moment... he seems to appear out of no-where, at
times. Er..." Soun looked nervously at the pig. "You can stay and wait
for him here if you like, but we don't really have the... uh... facilities
to accommodate your, er, pet."

"Oh, Katsunishiki's okay. He can take care of herself." Akari patted her
pig on the belly, hugging him. "But where would I stay? I don't want to
put anyone out..."

Kasumi smiled, finally having snapped out of the (what was, for her) shock
of seeing such a monstrous creature at the door. "Oh, you can always stay
in my or Akane's room. Actually, I suspect that Buriko may want to move
from Nabiki's room into mine- she hinted that to me when I went to the
bathroom a minute ago- so probably you'd better stay in Akane's room."

Akari nodded. "Thank you. By the way, while I know some of you, I'm not
sure I've met all of you..." By this time, Nodoka and Genma had come to
see what all the fuss was about. "My name is Akari."

Nodoka smiled and nodded. "Hello, Akari. I think I'll go tell Akane
you're here and let her know what's going on. Dearest, why don't you help
her with her bags?" As she turned and left, Genma approached the giant
creature nervously. The monster-like pet snorted, and he jumped back.
Akari snickered at him before he once again moved towards that particular
animal.

In another room of the house, another animal, also a pig, was snorting as
well- but the difference was, while Katsunishiki was snorting in greeting,
Ryouga was snorting in fear. He just knew that, with the duel over him
going on, Akane would eventually mention how P-Chan was her 'pet.' And
Akari would let her know about his curse. And then...

He left to find a source of hot water (and clothing) more desperately than
before- because he knew the only way to save himself from two enraged
females he was in love with... was to get one of them so mad she would
probably hate him forever. It was time to tell Akane of his curse.

* * * * *

Nabiki was completely unaware of this surprising event, as she was in the
middle of a complex business discussion with a dissatisfied customer. She
probably would not have done too much with the information, save to perhaps
find some hot water and a little pig to sell it to, but as things stood she
was much too angry to care.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU REFUSE TO PAY?" She screamed at B.B. She closed her
eyes, breathed, and calmed down. Through clenched teeth, she asked "Okay,
I brought Akane down to two points, and both of those were because you and
Azusa didn't allow her to grab the wierd ingredients she normally puts into
her food that makes it taste so wierd or come to life or harden so hard it
can't be eaten. So, why aren't you paying me the 14,000 yen you owe me?"

B.B. looked at Nabiki with an even greater anger. "You broke a rule I
made. You endangered lives for your plans." She moved closer to Nabiki,
leaning over her. "Enticing Ranma into the cat fist was not just
dangerous, it was completely un-necessary. Doing so SERIOUSLY hurt Desaix-
he's got four 'claw' marks going down his leg- he could have been killed!
I'm moving to Kasumi's room, and you won't see a single yen of that money."

With that, B.B. grabbed her bags and left the room.

"I don't believe it," Nabiki whispered in the direction of the departed
B.B. "No-one has ever refused to pay me. For that, I'll see to it that
you lose this contest, no matter what it takes..."

* * * * *

Desaix, who had spent the time after he recovered from B.B.'s blow changing
into his shinto robes, was carrying the clothes he had fought Ranma in to
the laundry room when he came across a little black piglet squeeling at him
desperately.

"Oh, hello, Ryouga. I can't understand you like that, you know." The pig
looked at him hopefully, and Desaix laughed, picking him up. "Come on,
I'll find some hot water for you." Passing through the laundry room on the
way to the bathroom, Desaix dropped his clothes on top of the hamper.

As Ryouga changed from pig to human, his squeels turned to desperate
whispers. "I need your help. I need a change of clothing and I need you
to guide me to Akane's room- and I can't be seen by anyone other than her!"

"Uh, well, I suppose I can loan you the clothes I just dumped in the
laundry room- they are a bit dirty and I'm not sure they'll fit you right,
since you're shorter and wider than I am, but I think that you can wear
them without tearing or anything. And I can lead you to Akane's room, but
why-"

"Then do it. I can't explain now- I don't have time. And, if you can,
please keep people away from her room while I'm in there."

Whatever Ryouga's problem was, he was obviously in a hurry to resolve it,
so Desaix just nodded, deciding he would find out what was going on
later...

* * * * *

"...give me a chance to find out more about Ryouga's little girlfriend,"
Akane was saying to Nodoka. Ranma's mother could tell that Akane's mind
wasn't really on the arrival of Akari from the catch in her voice, but she
decided not to say anything about it.

Desaix knocked on the open door and leaned in. He briefly looked surprised
at the presence of the older woman, but then he recovered and began
speaking. "Uh... hello, Akane, Mrs. Saotome. Can I talk to you," he
pointed to Nodoka, "For a moment- privately?"

She nodded, and Desaix led her out of the room. "So, what did you need to
talk to me about?" Only a few seconds later, Ryouga snuck past the two of
them into Akane's room.

"Er," Desaix began. He really didn't know what he could come up with that
would be convincing- until he mistepped and felt a pain shoot up his leg.
"Your son, Ranma, injured me earlier today- it was entirely by accident, I
assure you," he said at her concerned look, leading her further away from
Akane's room. "Anyways, I don't want the whole world to know that I'm
injured, but I wanted someone who would know proper first aid to make
certain that I bandaged my leg properly..."

* * * * *

Akane was astounded to see Ryouga come in through the door. "Ry- ryouga!
What are you doing here! Akari is here, looking for you. Did you know
that?"

Ryouga nodded. Drawing all his courage to him, he closed his eyes and
began. "Uh, yes I did. In fact... she's why I've come here to talk to
you. Akane, I have something important to tell you. You are going to get
angry at me for telling it to you, but I ask that you hear me out before
you say or do anything."

Akane blinked twice. "Uh... okay."

"Akane, for the past year or so, I've been decieving you, and..." 'Now,
Ryouga, if you're going to do this, you might as well clear yourself of all
your dishonor in the process,' he thought. "And abusing a promise of
Ranma's to do it. You've always wondered what the real reason I was mad at
Ranma all the time was, so now I'll tell you." If Ryouga had opened his
eyes since he entered the room, he would see Akane looking as curious as
she had ever been in her life. She wasn't looking really happy, but she
had yet to get mad. "When Ranma first skipped out on our duel, I followed
him all the way to China, and to... Jusenkyo. When I was there, a girl
chasing a panda knocked me into the... Pool of Drowned... Little Black
Piglet." THAT set Akane's anger afire, and that anger manifested itself in
a hot red glow. 'Oh, my gods... All those times that Ranma... he abused a
promise? Why would Ranma... why are you telling me know? Why did you keep
it a secret in the first... that pervert... I'm going to KILL him- no,
wait, remember,' she thought to herself, 'hear him out BEFORE you kill
him.' Her fingers slowly started clenching together into a pair of fists,
but she had yet to draw back for anything- slap, punch, or mallet. "After
that fight where I accidentally chopped off your hair, I followed Ranma
here, and challenged him to a fight. He and I fought in the rain... and I
changed. Ranma... felt guilty or something, and so promised not to reveal
my curse to you. Then, you decided to adopt me as your pet... and I fell
in love with you." At that, the roller-coaster which was Akane's emotions
once more became derailed. She gasped, as he continued with "I hope you
can forgive me... I never meant to... to hurt you, but I... I..." Ryouga's
voice broke, and he just hung his head, unable to continue.

Akane, after giving him a minute to start again, slapped him hard, and
prepared to do much more after telling him off. He looked up, finally
opening his watering eyes. "You pervert," she said vehemently. "No wonder
Ranma was always so jealous of P-chan..." Her thoughts shifted to Ranma,
remembering what he had said earlier in the day. "So jealous..." Akane
decided something- and, using the family traits which had normally been
dominant in Nabiki but which had been somewhat hidden in her, came up with
a plan. "Ryouga, I don't know if I can ever forgive you- you were a
friend, and you abused that friendship, and you framed someone I... someone
else numerous times for your own means. I won't kill you for what you have
done, however, because you had your motives, however twisted. I also know
how you feel about Akari and how Akari feels about you, and I HOPE that you
were telling me because you decided to go after her alone, because I will
never love you. However, while I may find it hard to trust you again... I
want to try to remain friends. And, as your friend, I ask that you not let
Ranma know you told me- you can tell anyone else you want, if you're
certain they won't tell Ranma. I'll tell him myself, after the competition
is over... And, stay civil with Ranma, okay?" Ryouga nodded slowly. Akane
smiled slowly. "Good. Akari is going to be staying here until she finds
you, so... say, does she know?"

Ryouga gritted his teeth. "Er, she knows, but she... didn't know that YOU
didn't know. And I don't think she knows that I am- er, was... in love
with you."

Akane nodded. "Hmm. Well, you'd better head back to Ranma's room and get
into your cage." Ryouga winced when she mentioned the cage, but he nodded
and started to leave, before stopping just short of the door.

"Uh, can you help me find Ranma's room?" It was too much for Akane- she
just laughed.

* * * * *

Ranma, sitting on the roof, was still thinking about the exact same thing
that he had been thinking since he got up on the roof. '"You haven't lost
me," I said. What was I thinking? That sounds so corny, and it doesn't
even begin to say what I wanted to say. Aaargh! Why are things always so
difficult with her?' He sighed. Before he could restart his line of
thought from the beginning again, a chill breeze struck him. Ranma
shivered. 'I guess I'd better go inside.'

He hopped off of the roof and headed inside. Going in, he though he caught
a glimpse of something pink moving outside, but decided, as large as it
was, it couldn't be anything other than a big truck. 'A pink truck? Huh!'

When he reached his room, he ran into Akane leaving it. Narrowly avoiding
a collision in the doorway, Ranma spun out of her way before saying
"Akane... uh, were you looking for me?"

Akane was startled to see Ranma there. "Uh, no."

Ranma blinked. "Then... why were you in my room?"

"Why was I in your room?" Akane repeated.

"Yes, why were you in my room."

"I was, uh..." Realizing she needed an answer for this, she glanced back
into the room for inspiration. "Visiting P-Chan."

Ranma smirked. 'She's lying- why?' "You know," he said out loud, "If you
were to catch me coming out of your room, regardless of the reason, you'd
probably mallet me."

Akane shrugged. Despite her nonchalant response, it struck her that she
sometimes malleted Ranma for some of the stupidest things. Trying to keep
a straight face, she said "Probably. I suspect it seems to you I mallet
you for no reason at all sometimes," She chuckled, pulled out a very
low-grade Mallet o'Chi, and smashed Ranma over the head with it.
"Sometimes, I guess, you're right."

"Ow, Akane, that hurt!"

"Oh, come on, that was just a love tap!" Akane giggled. Then she blushed,
realizing how she phrased that. "Uh, er, I mean... uh, bye!" She ran off.
Ranma blinked, not quite sure what just happened. 'That's nothing like the
Akane I know, what's up? Does this have anything to do with this contest
thing?' He entered his room, and pulled a wet pig out of his cage. Noting
Desaix's dirty clothes lying about, he shrugged. "Looks like you've had a
lot of company. First Desaix, and then Akane. Come on, Ryouga, I want to
talk." Ryouga looked at Ranma nervously as he was carried away.

* * * * *

Akane was headed back to her room, and nearly ran over Desaix. 'I need to
watch where I'm going more,' she thought, 'First I nearly knock Ranma over
after helping Ryouga return to his room, and then I nearly Desaix over
heading to mine.'

"Ooof," Desaix said, sitting up. "What hit me?"

Akane picked him up and dusted him off. "Sorry about that. Say, where's
Auntie Saotome?"

"I think she went to take care of someone named 'Akari.'"

Akane nodded. "Say, did you know what Ryouga was going into my room to
talk to me about?"

Desaix bit his lip. "Well, I knew it was important and he was in a hurry,
but other than that, no."

"Ah. Did you know about his curse?"

Desaix blinked. "Yeah, but you didn't. Did he tell you about it?"

Akane grimaced, nodding. "Yes, he did. Buriko told me not to talk to her
about private things, regardless of which form I'm in..."

"Probably good advice- saying something stupid when she's in one form has
nearly gotten me killed by the other form many, many, MANY times."

"Uh huh. Anyway, I want to talk to someone about it, and Ranma's a bad
choice, Nabiki would blackmail me, and anyone else who I could talk to
right now wouldn't keep what I wanted to talk about secret. Any chance I
could talk to you, privately?"

Desaix sighed. He had figured out Nabiki's plan to activate Ranma's cat
fist, he had figured out a way to stop him, he had solved Mousse's debt
problem (that had been rather easy), he had come up with a plan to get
Ryouga to talk to Akane secretly, and he had just had a long talk with
Nodoka about first aid skills, among many other things. "I suppose, but
don't expect me to be of much help with anything. I've done enough heavy
thinking for one day."

* * * * *

Ryouga stood in front of Ranma, after having been drenched for the third
time in less than an hour. He was wearing a bathrobe Ranma was loaning
him, looking very confused.

"What do YOU want?" Ryouga asked with hostility. It wasn't that he was
really angry at Ranma, right at the moment, but with the multiple changes
he had already suffered, and with the need to reveal to Akane his curse and
having been trapped in a cage most of the day, he'd been having a pretty
bad day.

Ranma, of course, failed to notice anything unusual- Ryouga always treated
him like that. "What's up with Akane? She was acting really... wierd...
when she left the room, after visiting 'P-Chan.' I know she sometimes
tells you things- any idea what's bugging her? Anything to do with the
tournament?"

Ryouga panicked, but again, Ranma didn't notice anything unusual in his
behaviour. "S-something's b-bugging Ak-Akane?" Ryouga stuttered, his
voice cracking. "In what way? Was she upset, sad, angry? Did she try to
mallet you for no reason, or something?"

Ranma blinked. "Uh, no, that's how she acts normally. She was joking with
me, and seemed a little nervous about something..." He shook his head.
"She just wasn't herself."

"Well, no, I don't know what's bugging her. Now, can I go back to my cage
now?" Ryouga was getting a little desperate- knowing this house, Akari was
likely to walk in any minute.

Ranma finally noticed something was bugging Ryouga too. "Okay, you might
not know what's wrong with Akane, but... what's wrong with you?"

Ryouga took the safe way out. "Akari's here, and, well, I don't really
want to see here right now..."

"Why? I thought you liked her? In fact, the last time I saw you before
B.B. found you, you were on your way to try and find her!"

Ryouga sighed. "I was. But... I'm just not ready to see her yet, you
know? Especially with Akane here, and-"

Ranma raised his eyebrows. "Could that have been what was causing Akane to
act all wierd?"

"Er, how should I know?"

"You talk to her more often than I do! And besides, Akari's YOUR gir-"
Ranma shut up and splashed Ryouga with cold water as he started to hear the
door open. He picked up the pig just as Akane walked in- Ranma thought he
saw someone moving behind her, but that person disappeared from sight
before he could be identified.

"Ranma!" Akane asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Er..." Ranma stammered. "I was just... uh... giving P-Chan here a little
bath!"

Akane smirked. "Ah! Be sure to scrub behind his ears- they keep getting
so dirty for some reason." She left and started to close the door behind
her. "And try to keep from picking on him- he's just a pig, after all, a
dumb animal- you shouldn't be picking on dumb animals, Ranma." As the door
shut behind her, Ranma could've sworn he saw her trembling as if she were
holding laughter back.

"'Dumb animal?' Is she mad at you, or something?" Ranma asked the pig.

"Bwee!" Ryouga grunted noncommitally.

* * * * *

Akane, struggling to keep from laughing, dragged Desaix up onto the roof.

"I missed it. What's the joke?" He asked.

"Like I said," Akane said, trying to muster up enough calm to keep from
sounding like Kodachi, "Ryouga told me about his curse. He also swore to
me he wouldn't let Ranma know I had told him. Ranma probably already
thought I was acting wierd- I can only imagine what he thinks now that
I..."

"Now that you basically insulted 'your little pet' in front of him, he
probably wants to call the psycho ward. Why did he swear to not let Ranma
know you know?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," Akane said seriously, finally
under control. She put her hand behind her head. "I asked him to not tell
Ranma because I want to tell him. I don't want to tell him, though, until
after..." Her voice trailed off.

Desaix puzzled through what she might be using these delaying tactics for.
Not coming up with anything, he prompted "After..."

Akane blushed. "Well, see, he and I have never really kissed- in fact,
we've never even admitted how we felt about each other. I think he loves
me- I THINK he screamed out once that he wished he could have told me just
once that he loved me when he thought I was dead. But... I've never been
able to admit it to him myself- I deny it vehemently whenever anyone brings
it up. Ranma, also, denies he ever said it... and I'm not sure, because he
thought I was dead for a reason- I wasn't breathing, I wasn't able to move,
and I could barely sense what was going on around me... but when I heard
that, I snapped out of it all. NOW I realize certain things about him-
like how he was constantly jealous of my little pet for a REASON, and how
much I always beat him about for things which he SOMETIMES doesn't really
deserve, and that, just possibly... I care for him." If either Akane or
Desaix had been listening for it, they would have heard a thump coming from
behind the dojo. "I want to be able to know, however... so I want to
participate in the last contest just to see what... if..."

"How you feel about each other," Desaix supplied. Akane nodded slowly.
He laughed. "I understand completely. I swear to you that I will not tell
Ranma that you know Ryouga's little secret."

Akane smiled. "Thanks, Desaix. I think its about time I turn in." Desaix
nodded, and they both jumped off the roof, heading in through the front
door. Someone inside overheard this little conversation with a set of
earphones and grabbed Desaix the moment he got inside for ANOTHER little
talk.

* * * * *

At breakfast the next morning, Akane wasn't showing a glimpse of the
feigned disinterest that she normally showed when Genma and Ranma began
sparring, but only smiled secretly at Ranma. Nabiki, as usual, was
yawning, a toothbrush stuck in her mouth. Desaix, also, was yawning, his
hair pointed every which way. B.B., sitting between him and Akane, was
wearing her leather outfit, but seemed very uncomfortable in it. Nodoka
and Kasumi were in the kitchen, giggling about something, while Soun was
just trying to ignore everyone and everything by reading the paper. Akari,
apparently, was still in bed.

"So, B.B., Akane, are you ready for today's part of the tournament?" Soun,
from behind his paper, asked.

"THAT'S BURIKO!" Buriko cried, pulling out a Mallet o'Chi and smashing Soun
with it. Then she looked down at her outfit and blushed, covering herself
up. Even Desaix looked at her in surprise.

"Buriko!?" he asked. "Why are you wearing... uh... that?"

Buriko blushed deeper. "Uh, my non-B.B. clothing is... missing. Kasumi
offered me some of her clothes, but they were both too long and too tight
about the... er... chest... for me to wear safely." Akane blinked at that.
"I don't know what happened to my clothes- they were in my bag last night
but not in it this morning..." Akane noticed Nabiki smirk a bit, but then
return to her usual poker face. She wondered why Nabiki was so amused by
the mystery. 'Someone probably paid her to steal Buriko's clothes. But
who? The only person who might do that would be Happosai, and what other
reason would she have to steal those clothes?'

Desaix was too tired to care abour the mystery, however. He shrugged,
stood up, and left the room. While he was gone, Ranma and Genma finished
their practice session (remarkably without winding up in the pool) and
headed off to change into cleaner clothing. Desaix soon returned, looking
just as unkempt, holding a bundle of clothing. He tossed it at Buriko.

"There's a spare shinto robe for you, if you want it, Buriko."

She nodded and wordlessly stood up and left the room. Soun, finally
recovered, turned to Akane.

"Er... are you ready for the tournament today?" Soun asked cautiously, not
wanting to get malleted for unintentionally offending another young girl.

Akane smiled. "Well, I suppose I am- or I perhaps should say I will be.
The first part of the the day's contests aren't being held until after
school today, but I should be able to do plenty of catching up today."

Soun raised an eyebrow, wondering why his daughter was so confident after
having nearly been shut out the previous day, but before he could ask a
question, Ranma came bounding down the steps in his usual red shirt, crying
"Come on, Akane, we've gotta go now or we'll be late!" Akane looked at the
clock on the wall, and gasped at the time. She grabbed her bag and
sprinted off after Ranma. Soun sighed.

Buriko came down the steps a moment later. She looked at Desaix's ruffled
condition, and sighed. She really didn't want to wear him down any more
than he already apparently was, and she REALLY didn't want to make him work
on his injured foot any more than was necessary, but... she needed his
help.

"Say, Desaix," Buriko said hesitantly, biting her lip. Desaix had heard
her sigh, of course, and knew that she was about to ask him something she
really didn't want to ask him to do. He sighed as well, thinking how much
she must dislike him if she detested asking him for help so much. Buriko,
hearing HIS sigh, assumed he really didn't want anything to do with her
after the cat fist fiasco, and almost lost the confidence to ask him.
Almost. "I... need your help. Can you teach me a kata for this
afternoon's contest?" Soun facefaulted- she was going to engage in a
contest determining who could perform kata's with the most style and grace
in several hours, and she wanted to learn a new one for said contest?

Desaix smiled hesitantly. "Uh, well, I'll have a hard time doing that. I
don't KNOW any appropriate kata's- I learned my fighting style without
them."

'He doesn't want to help me. I really messed up, big time... Oh, B.B., you
are going to make me lose this friendship, aren't you? Well, I need to
keep trying...' Buriko frowned sadly. "But I've seen you use them
before..."

Desaix shrugged. He knew he couldn't help her, and if he tried and failed
she would only be upset at him. "Well, I do know some VERY basic Tai Chi
forms, primarily for relaxation and meditation, but I don't think they'll
win you any contests because they are so simple..."

Buriko knew how to turn on the charm, though. Through pouted lips, she
jokingly sputtered "Pweease? I'll be your best friend!" Desaix couldn't
help but smile at the face she made, but he still was about to shake his
head no when Nabiki looked at her.

"Actually," Nabiki said, thinking 'Now's my chance to really mess her up!'
She knew that stealing Buriko's clothes would be a significant distraction,
and she had already come up with some ways to irritate her throughout the
day's contests. Now, however, was the time to make her think that she was
still trying to help her. Later, she could also weaken her position by
promoting Akane in her contests. Something in the back of Nabiki's mind
told her it might be better if she tried to make Azusa win instead, but she
just didn't want to have to deal with that ditz. "I've seen Ranma go
through all of his kata's dozens, if not hundreds, of times. I'm pretty
sure that I can remember one good one well enough for you do perform
well..."

Desaix looked at Nabiki coldly. He might have looked too tired to be very
observant earlier in the morning (he didn't get any sleep) but he hadn't
been so blind as to miss her little smirk when the theft of Buriko's
clothing was discussed. He knew Nabiki was the one behind the cat fist
incident from both Mousse and Buriko, and he also suspected they'd had a
falling out when he'd heard Buriko moved into Kasumi's room. To say he
thought she was a danger was an understatement. 'I am her PROTECTOR, so by
the gods I will protect her.'

"Oh, there's no need for that, Nabiki. I think I'll teach her what I know
after all." He helped Buriko up from the table quickly and began dragging
her to the training hall before she could protest.

"Hey!" She cried, nearly losing her balance. They disappeared before she
could say anything else, however.

'Oh, well, I'll get you later, Buriko...' Nabiki thought.

* * * * *

Ranma waved to Ukyo as he passed her in Furinken High's hallway.

"Hi, Ucchan!" He said, then winced. He forgot their little 'falling out'
since the failed wedding attempt. She stuck her nose up at him and walked
away as quickly as she could. He almost reached out for her, but, noting
out of the corner of his eye that Akane was coming up behind him, decided
not to.

Akane looked at the fleeing Ukyo, and walked up to Ranma's side. "Hey,
what's wrong between you two?"

He looked over at Akane and smiled slightly. "Oh, I blew up at her for
something stupid... I probably over-reacted a bit, but at the time it
seemed very serious. Now, she seems to be avoiding me..."

Akane's returning smile was somewhat strained. "She means a lot to you,
doesn't she?"

Ranma nodded carelessly. "Well, yeah, I suppose so. She has played an
important role in my life, and she's been a good friend as long as I've
known her. She just doesn't understand..." He caught himself before he
finished his sentence. Akane looked at him curiously. It was obvious to
her that Ukyo's anger at him was a great burden for him.

Reaching a decision, Akane looked Ranma straight in the eyes. "Make it up
to her."

Ranma blinked. "Huh?"

Akane forced her smile to stay on her face. "You'll never be happy if she
stays mad at you forever. You need to make it up to her- at least talk to
her about what you yelled at her about, or WHY you yelled at her about
it..." For reasons unknown to Akane, Ranma stuck his hand behind his head
in mild embarrasment.

To cover his feelings up, Ranma shrugged and said "Why do you care?"

Akane, of course, got a bit mad at that. 'Ranma, you jerk, can't you see I
care because... because I care about... about you? About your happiness?
Are you really that BLIND!?' She humphed. "I guess I don't, really. I
don't know what I was thinking, trying to help you out."

Ranma sighed. He blew it again. "Oh, I'm sorry, Akane," he began, much to
her surprise. "I know I need to talk to her about it- I need to talk to a
lot of people about a lot of things." When he said that, he couldn't help
but look at Akane with more seriousness than he had ever looked at her
before. "But... there's just so much I need to take care of that its all
so overwhelming..." He began massaging his temples with one hand. "Thanks
for trying to help, Akane, but I need to deal with this alone..." 'And I
need to take care of it today,' he finished to himself. The warning bell
rang, and he looked at the clock. "You'd better get to class. I have some
things I need to think about..."

Akane considered teasing him at that last line, but realized that there was
a time and a place to annoy Ranma, and this was not one of them. She
turned and left for class. Ranma disappeared just before an angry Ms.
Hinako walked by.

* * * * *

"OW! That hurt! Why'd you have to drag me around like that?!" Buriko
cried. "She was going to help me, and you were saying you couldn't-"

Desaix was feeling very tired, and didn't really like being shouted at
anyway. Not thinking about who he was talking to, he shouted back. "No,
she wouldn't have! She's mad at you- she's planning something. Rather
than let her pull off some kind of plan, I figured it was better that I
teach you one of those Tai Chi forms I know than let her mess you up."
Buriko was shocked. 'He yelled at me. He's never yelled at me in this
form before- what's going on?' Desaix, himself, was stunned as well. He
bit his lip apologetically. "Sorry. Didn't mean to yell."

"Okay, so, how do I begin?" She asked. She was still shocked, but she
decided it was best to just go on as if nothing had happened.

"Well, first, wait right here." He left the training hall, returning a
moment later with a yellow kettle. "First, you need to change. You know
you'll learn this better in your uncursed form."

"Uh, right..." Buriko was starting to imagine that Desaix was struggling
to keep from yelling at B.B., and was only promising to teach her so as to
not have to keep his anger all bottled up. "I'm ready, I guess."

Desaix poured the hot water over Buriko, and immediately she tossed the
shinto robes off of her to reveal her tight leather outfit. Desaix closed
his eyes in embarrasment, but did little more than that. Having known B.B.
as long as he had, such things were to be expected from time to time.

"Now, remember what I told you," he said. "This kata is NOT complex enough
to win you the contest. It may be good enough, however, that your opponent
can LOSE it, but you'll need to learn to do exactly what I do..."

As B.B. listened, she, too, was a little curious as to why Desaix had been
acting so odd that day. Her Buriko form had thought that he was mad at her
current form, but he didn't seem very mad to her at all. But Buriko had
done nothing to Desaix, so why was he snapping at her then but not snapping
at her now she was B.B.?

Shortly, however, she found herself unable to focus on such things and pay
attention to Desaix's lessons at the same time, and so shortly dropped such
lines of thought.

* * * * *

Lunchtime at Furinkan was always a war. Battles the tales of which
witnesses would tell with pride to their children, grandchildren, and
great-grandchildren were fought. Typically, these involved Ranma and
someone out to either kill or marry Ranma. Today, however, these battles
had nothing to do with him. Oh, sure, there was always Kuno bashing
members of the chem club, or fellow kendoists, or anyone who got in his
way, while he was desperately searching for his beloved 'pig-tailed girl,'
but these attacks hardly counted as battles.

Ranma was not involved in any of these legendary battles because he was on
the roof, looking desperately for a certain okonamiyaki chef he needed to
talk to. He nearly jumped off the roof in surprise when she tapped on his
shoulder from behind him. As it was, he needed to be caught by Ukyo to
keep from falling.

"Uh, thanks, Ucchan..." Ranma said uncomfortably. He was in a somewhat
awkward position being wrapped up by her arms. For a brief moment, her
arms seemed to tighten up around him nearly to glomping intensity before
she released him.

"I should have let you drop, RanMA" she said sadly. "I mean, after you
said you never wanted to see me again-"

"HEY! That's unfair. I didn't really mean it, I was just upset- less than
an hour earlier, you and Shampoo had tried to stop my wedding by blowing it
up with bombs!"

Ukyo sighed. "If I hadn't, you would be married now-"

"So?"

Ukyo blinked. "Does that mean you WANTED to marry Akane?"

"May- er, well, it doesn't matter if I really did or not. YOU still
shouldn't be doing things like that." Ranma sighed. "You know, I wanted
to talk to you today, to try to make up for shouting at you- that's why I'm
up here on the roof- and I didn't want to get into this kind of argument."
He sighed again. "Why have you changed so much over the past few months,
Ucchan? You've always been my closest friend, but recently you've been
getting more and more aggressive, to the point where you're almost as
annoying as, say... Shampoo! You've just... disappointed me, Ucchan."

"I'm sorry, Ranchan... so know what do we do?"

Ranma smiled. "Maybe we could start over... as FRIENDS? I think the
fiancee thing is really hurting both of us and so we should perhaps
drop..."

Ranma's voice trailed off at the fierce expression Ukyo gave him. "No! I
won't allow it! I love you, Ranma, and I will marry you-"

"NO!" Ranma's voice caught. "I never wanted to do this- I've always liked
you, Ucchan, but I've never liked you that way. I never said anything
before, because I didn't want to hurt you, and because I felt that there
might be a chance my feelings for you could change, if Ak- er, if certain
things had happened. Those things never happened, and I hope never will,
but right now, if you keep insisting like this, I don't think I'll even be
able to stand being your friend. So STOP IT! I care about you, Ucchan,
but I will never love you, so please let me go!"

Ukyo looked at him defiantly for a moment, and then started crying. She
fell to her knees. "B-but..."

"Ucchan, please."

Ukyo sighed, still crying. "I suppose I should have guessed as much. You
and Akane have been getting closer recently, and since she was the one who
told me you were looking for me, I..."

Ranma blinked. 'Akane sent her?' He shook his head to clear it, and
offered Ukyo a hand.

"Hey, Ucchan, come on. If you are willing to let me go, we can still be
friends... can't we?"

Ukyo looked up, and smiled through her tears. She let Ranma help her stand
up, and turned to leave the roof. "I suppose so, Ranchan. I suppose
so..."

* * * * *

It was finally time for the first contest of the day, the singing contest,
and there were a couple hundred spectators in Furinkan High's auditorium.
The previous events weren't exactly spectator sports, but today the events
were such that Nabiki was able to sell tickets, and so the crowds from the
Akane Tendo Fan Club had all shown up. For some reason, no-one from
Koholtz High had shown up, and there were no fans for B.B. other than
Desaix, who didn't have to buy a ticket because he was part of her 'team.'

"WELCOME to the Second Charlotte Cup Contest, Day 2," Nabiki's voice
appeared over the speakers. "Here are the Standings. Buriko 'B.B.'
Bakamoto is in first place with eight points," There was some polite
clapping and a smattering of boos. "Azusa Shiratori is in second place
with five points," There was more polite clapping, with a few catcalls and
some whistles mixed in amoung those who had booed, "And Akane Tendo is in
last place with two points..." The audience erupted into a furious cry of
support for Akane. Nabiki had to wait a full two minutes before she could
continue- of course, she had been expecting that, since she had only sold
tickets to Akane's most enthusiastic admirers. "Today's first event is the
singing contest, with our special guest judges of the Furinkan High School
Glee Club. Each contestant will sing a song of their choosing,
unaccompanied, and the judges will evaluate them. The best singer will get
three points, second best will get two points, and last will get zero
points." Azusa appeared on stage. "The first singer will be Azusa
Shiratori singing... uh... you can't be serious... singing the western
childrens song, 'Three Blind Mice.'"

In her most annoying and childlike voice, Azusa sang "Three blind mice,
three blind mice, see how they run, see how they run..." as an entire
auditorium full of Akane Tendo fans heckled her. Even if they hadn't,
Azusa probably still would have grated on the judges nerves, but as it was,
the judges gave her very low marks.

Backstage, Ranma was waiting with Akane for Nabiki's signal for her to go
on. Ranma noticed, for some odd reason, Akane was blushing quite deeply,
and was shifting nervously. Ranma sighed- she was probably a little
stagefright. After all, he'd never heard her sing before, he didn't know
anyone else who had heard her sing before, and she had already told him she
normally only sung by herself. He decided to try to calm her down a bit.

"Ah, don't worry about this one, Akane. You've got at least two points-
there's no way you could sing worse than Azusa just did. And if you're
nervous about singing in front of such a large audience, well, all you're
doing is acting in a musical in front of them. You've acted before, so
this shouldn't be too big of a deal..."

Akane looked at him oddly. 'That isn't why I'm nervous, Ranma... but
you'll know why in a minute.' She glanced at the sheet on which the words
she was about to sing were printed and gulped. Then she looked back up at
Ranma and smiled for him.

"Now, performing a traditional Chinese love song, Buriko 'B.B.'
Bakamoto..." the loudspeakers blared behind the two of them. Shortly
thereafter, a beautiful melody drifted through the entire auditorium.

"So," Ranma whispered to Akane after a minute of listening to B.B. (Buriko
would never sing so erotic a song, even if no-one understood it but her and
Desaix), trying to keep her worrying about how good the current competition
was doing. "What song are you going to sing?"

Akane's eyes widened in near fright when he said those words, and he got a
little nervous as to what was scaring her so much. "Er," she blushed even
deeper. "I'm singing a song I wrote... well, several months ago. I've
written a lot of songs, in that time..."

Ranma blinked in surprise. "Uh, YOU wrote it? Akane, for once, I am not
asking you this question to tease you, but, are you SURE that's a good
idea? Wouldn't a professionally written song work better?"

Akane smirked despite her nerves. "Oh, probably, but I wouldn't have been
able to learn it as well in as short a time. Besides, this one is... um...
unique." Buriko finished singing her song in the background. Before Ranma
could ask what she meant, Akane looked at her clock as the polite applause
came from the audience. "You'd better go take your seat... I'm on in a
minute."

"Uh, good lu- er, wait, this is a stage, isn't it? Break a leg!"

B.B., walking by heading off stage, looked at the two of them. "Break
who's leg?" She laughed as she left the stage. The tension, for Akane,
was broken. Ranma, on the other hand, was a little annoyed, but was
sensible enough to head to his seat in the auditorium, sitting in the front
row, dead center to where Akane would be singing. 'Well, its all or
nothing now,' Akane thought.

Desaix was settled down in seat to Ranma's right, and was snoring softly.
Ranma got a little annoyed, and elbowed him.

"Hey, wake up!" Ranma whispered furiously. Desaix blinked sleepily. "You
already missed B.B. sing, but I'm not going to let you miss Akane!"

Desaix looked at Ranma worriedly. "I missed B.B. sing? Oh, god..."

Backstage, out of sight from everyone, B.B. was crying. 'Why am I crying?
He was just some nuisance who always insisted on tagging along with me
because I'm also Buriko! But now, for some reason, he doesn't even like
Buriko either, and so now he doesn't even care enough to listen to me sing
in this contest! I never really liked him, anyway! I probably never liked
him, either- he's the only man who's ever refused my advances, I probably
just hung out with him because it was a challenge to me, so why should I
care if he doesn't care about me? Why should I care if he's only staying
with me because of his sense of 'honor' and his 'job' to protect me?
Why...'

Desaix, meanwhile, was seriously regretting having been kept up all night
by the dozens of people who had wanted to talk to him. Ranma noticed his
faint a faint blue aura, but only he noticed that he had crushed the arm
rest of the chair he was in. He absentmindedly started pulling the
splinters out of his hand.

As Akane walked into the circle the spotlight led for her, she took a few
deep breaths. Nabiki's voice once again came over the speaker system.
"Now, performing a song she has written herself, Furinkan's very own Akane
Tendo!" The cheers erupted from the crowd as Akane took the mike. The
cheers died down, and Akane started to sing.

(Author's note: If you've seen the Viz version of the anime, then you
PROBABLY should recognize this song. I had a hard time deciding on this
song, but... I figured this would work. I've seen it in a couple of other
fanfics as well, and decided I might as well use it myself... Besides, I
had the lyrics lying around (I have no idea where I got it from) and said,
ah, why not?)

"Yappa paa, yappa paa- don't know what to do
My heart is not a game- it's mah-jongg to you.
Yappa paa, yappa paa- feel like such a shrew
Who needs boys? Don't you dare-
Make me wild like you."

Akane had her eyes closed, and the entire Akane Tendo Fan Club sighed at
her sweet voice.

"Before you, boys got on their knees..."

Her voice cracked as she continued, a fact which the judges quickly noted.
Nabiki had done her best to select a panel of judges which would favor
Akane, but she didn't want to bribe them when she didn't think she had to.
It was a rare mistake of Nabiki's to misjudge people, but the Glee Club had
decided to judge fairly.

"Ranma, Ranma- it's me you always tease.
Since the day I ran into you
Ranma, Ranma you-
Stole my heart and you-
Don't you dare go and-
Make me wild like you."

The entire audience blinked at the same time, Ranma included. The sound of
several hundred eyelashes flashing nearly drowned out Akane's voice, which
cracked again on certain words. Nabiki groaned in her sound booth- the
judges would NOT like that.

"Somebody tell me why it's so hard
To say those three words... 'I love you?'
If I let myself give into you,
I'll become just as wild as you!"

Ranma might have been thinking about the consequences with his and Akane's
parents if it weren't for the fact that the powerful force of several
hundred battle aura's from the Akane Tendo Fan Club was starting to be felt
on his back- though the heat from that failed to match the heat in his
cheeks. Still, he wasn't able to bring himself to turn and see them,
instead looking straight at Akane, who had opened her eyes when she had
said that 'I love you' and was now staring straight into his eyes.

"Before you come in like a breeze
Won't you stop and ring the bell, please?
Why not let me love you on my own?
I'd be better off without you,
But just tonight it's all right...
Until tomorrow, all right."

Desaix, meanwhile, had noticed the angry crowd starting to move in on
Ranma, pulled his walking stick out of nowhere, and was now trying to fend
the horde off. Akane and Ranma continued to look into the other's eyes,
while Ranma had lost track of the powerful force of angry chi directed at
him.

Every time your eyes turn to me
Ranma, Ranma you-
Make me feel dizzy.
Someday we may be more than 'friends'
Ranma, Ranma you've
Gone and done it true-
Can't you see that you've-
Made me wild like you."

Akane and Ranma continued to stare at each other. "Akane, I-" Ranma
started to say.

"RANMA! GET OUT OF HERE!" Desaix cried, blocking the broken back of an
auditorium chair with a blow from the telescoping portion of his walking
stick. "I can't hold them off long!"

Ranma looked at Desaix, then back at Akane, then back to Desaix, then back
to Akane. Akane smirked, and pointed to the exit. "Go on, we'll talk
later," she said. Ranma really didn't want to leave right then, especially
when he was abandoning a friend to fight alone, but he really didn't want
to ruin the moment that he and Akane had just shared, and so ran out the
side door.

Meanwhile, the judges ranked B.B. just a fraction of a point ahead of Akane
in the singing competition, awarding them first and second accordingly.
Desaix took quite a beating before deciding he had given Ranma enough time
and running himself- he wasn't really able to take on two hundred people by
himself inside a building- and disappearing around a corner. Nabiki locked
the fan club up, not wanting them to meet up and tell the judge of the next
event what just happened.

* * * * *

Nabiki had quickly organized the second contest of the day, placing it on
the athletic field instead of on the auditorium stage like she had
originally planned. In fact, she had started things a bit too quickly for
the participants- all three of them were complaining about something or
another.

"Azusa no like this contest. Doing Mikado's Dance of Death kata make Azusa
dizzy!" Azusa complained as she strapped on her roller blades. Her words,
however, were ignored by everyone, unlike the complaints of the other two
participants.

"Where did Desaix go?" B.B. asked worriedly. "He was supposed to be here
to watch me perform!"

Mikado, the only 'second' around for the match, answered. "He went to the
doctor's. He's getting his arm taped up after badly spraining it helping
Ranma to escape from the crowds. He could be back here before you start,
if Azusa does her kata for the proper length of time- it is meant for the
long program after all..."

Akane, meanwhile, was ticked off at Nabiki.

"I thought I'd have enough time to talk to Ranma before this event!"

Nabiki turned an angry eye on Akane. So far, little she had planned had
gone right, and so her usual patience was being severely challenged. She
did not need her little sister angry with her. "Well, sorry, but I figured
that it was best that I do this before the judge of this contest hears
about that little stunt you pulled, and I'm not going to be able to keep
your admirers locked up in the auditorium for very long."

"Who IS this judge, anyway?" Akane demanded

"When I do count the clock that tells the time,
And see the brave day sunk in hideous night;
When I behold the violet past prime,
And sable curls all silvered o'er with white;
When lofty trees I see barren of leaves,
When erst from heat did canopy the herd,
And summer's green all girded up in sheaves,
Borne on the bier with white and bristly beard;
Then of thy beauty do I question make,
That though among the wastes of time must go,
Since sweets and beauties do themselves forsake
And die as fast as they see others grow;
And nothing 'gainst Time's scyth can make defence
Save breed, to brave him when he takes thee hence.
I hope I am not too late to judge your competition, Nabiki Tendo," Kuno
approached from behind the stands.
(Author's Note: The proceeding Shakespearian sonnet was taken off of page
1400, Volume IV, of 'The London Shakespeare' published by Simon and
Schuster in 1957)

"Not at all, Kuno baby, you're right on time. Azusa, you're up first."
Nabiki pointed to the young girl, who was stretching in preperation.

She stood up, and began the fast-paced spinning kata. The kata was moving
so fast, in fact, that Kuno couldn't see what was going on. He wasn't
really familiar with the kata anyway, so when Azusa just spun herself into
a laying position he just assumed she was doing it correctly, as it was
smooth a set of movements.

"Well done," Kuno said. "A remarkable display, though there is no way your
performance could match one that I, Tatewaki Kuno, might undertake. That,
however, is an unfair judgement, as NO-ONE could perform as well as I."
Mikado bit his tongue.

'Hmm,' B.B. thought. 'He's kind of cute, even if he does have an ego the
size of the moon. I wonder how well he really does 'perform?' Maybe I
should try him out tonight... It would be good practice, after all- I
haven't tried to seduce anyone since I started looking for Happy-chan, and
I don't want to lose my touch. Besides... it'll annoy Dez! I know he
doesn't like it when I try something...'

"Oooooh, Azusa is SO DIZZY!" Mikado walked over to the poor dazed martial
figure skater and picked her up, shaking his head disbelievingly. 'Some
judge,' he thought.

"And next up," Nabiki announced, "Is you, Buriko."

B.B. turned on Nabiki. "THAT'S B.B., YOU... YOU..." Nabiki cleared her
throat exageratedly. B.B. looked around, and noticed that everyone was
looking at her strangely. B.B. giggled femininely to cover up her anger.
"Okay, my turn, I guess."

In the middle of her performance, Desaix showed up, his swelled arm wrapped
up tightly in an ace bandage. 'There's no hiding this injury,' he thought
to himself sadly. His sudden appearance caused B.B. to miss a step- a fact
which Kuno, who was very familiar with the particular kata B.B. was
performing, could not ignore.

"Sometimes the simplest solution is the best," Kuno said in his evaluation,
"But I fear, even though all of your moves were precise and well executed,
you made a single mistake which may cost you the match." Desaix lowered
his head sadly. He knew he was the reason for B.B.'s failure.

B.B., on the other hand, was thinking that Desaix was disappointed in her
performance, and sighed as well. She wouldn't have minded losing, if only
she could have made Desaix proud of her. 'What am I thinking? He doesn't
care anything for me, and I never cared anything for him. What do I care
if he's proud of me or not!' She raised her head with forced pride and
walked past him towards Azusa and Mikado. Desaix followed her, sighing as
he wondered what revenge B.B. would have planned for him for ruining her
match.

"And the final contestant is Akane Tendo."

As Akane warmed up, Kuno began spouting poetry which everyone (now that
they were prepared for it, unlike when he made his entrance) was able to
ignore. 'I wish Ranma was here,' she thought. She'd gotten used to his
little pep talks, and she was, of course, quite interested in his reaction
to her little song. 'Though, probably, its for the best that he's not here
with KUNO as the judge.'

Akane was unaware that Ranma actually was around. He, once again, was on
the roof, and he was watching the competition. 'Gods, how do I respond to
her now? I do l... love her, but I never knew how she felt about me. Know
that I do, what do I say to her? How can I tell her? I mean, she was so
sweet about it, there's no way I could do something as nice as that.
AAARGH! If only I understood women better.'

Akane assumed her starting stance. Ranma, from his hiding place, smiled-
he recognized that stance, as he and Akane had learned that Kata at the
same time (Soun had insisted on them both being present when he taught
Ranma, and so he had reluctantly agreed).

Kuno, on the other hand, frowned. He wasn't completely unfamiliar with
that stance, but he didn't know it himself and couldn't remember where he
had seen it before.

Akane began her kata, making crisp precise movements. As she performed,
Kuno began to ignore the unusual stance. 'Ah, the power of her kick! The
precision of her movements! The beauty of her motion!' and such drivel
were what replaced that curiousity.

When she finished, Kuno stood up. "I have made my decision! Akane Tendo,
you are truly Aphrodite on the hunt, and it shows in your kata. I award
you first place! To congradulate you, I shall allow you to date with me!"

Akane rolled her eyes, and pounded Kuno into the ground with a Mallet
o'Chi. "Get real, Kuno." She turned and started to walk away. Nabiki
approached the wreckage which once was the kendoist.

"Kuno-baby, you promised to judge this contest, and that includes naming
who came in second place, so who is it?"

"Urk... the figure skater... ohhhhhhhh." Kuno collapsed into
unconsciousness. Nabiki sighed, pulling out the first aid kit she always
kept around her to deal with Kuno's injuries, and was about to apply the
bandages when another feminine hand stopped her.

"Mind if I take care of him? I... uh... could use the practice?" B.B.
asked, smiling insincerely.

Nabiki shrugged. "Sure, but he's not allowed to change his decision..."

B.B.'s devilish smile grew wider. "Oh, I wasn't expecting to win anyway.
Like I said, I want some practice..." 'seducing people, that is. Its been
a while since I tried to seduce anyone but Happy-chan or Dez...'

* * * * *

"Hey, Akane," Ranma said, dropping out of a tree into her path. He was
blushing slightly. "Uh, I think we should talk about that song you sang
earlier."

Akane jumped back at his sudden appearance, but blushed when he spoke.
"Yeah, especially now that there isn't much out there to interrupt us-" She
began.

She was interrupted by an army of Akane Tendo Fan Club members mobbing
Ranma. "Aaagh!" He cried, taken by surprise.

As the two of them were driven apart by the wave of people, Akane sighed.
'I guess we'll talk about this later,' she thought. 'I wonder how Kuno
will react once he hears the news.'

* * * * *

"SHE DID WHAT!" Kuno cried so loud the ground itself trembled. He shook
off B.B., sending her flying. Desaix caught her before she fell,
unconscious.

"We told you, she sang a love song to Ranma. There's no denying that it
was to him, as she was using his name in it," a Akane Tendo Fan Club member
repeated.

"IMPOSSIBLE! SHE MUST HAVE BEEN BEWITCHED BY THAT SORCERER SAOTOME! IT IS
TIME FOR THE BLUE THUNDER TO CRY HAVOC AND LET LOOSE THE DOGS OF WAR UPON
HIM! I REFUSE-"

He was cut off by a hard kick to the stomache. A bewildered Kuno turned to
face his attacker.

"Kuno, you can do whatever you wish to Ranma, but first you must answer for
hurting B.B." Kuno saw the collapsed form of the comatose girl, being
surrounded by a number of drooling males. "And you must answer to ME!"

Kuno held his sword in a ready stance. "Is it not proper for one to
introduce oneself before engaging in hostilities? VERY WELL! I am the
rising new star of the High School fencing worl-"

The telescoping portion of Desaix's walking stick smashed into Kuno's
chest. "I don't care who you are. All I know is you harmed the one I am
supposed to protect, and so you must be punished." Kuno gasped, and backed
up, evaluating his opponent.

"Very well, sir." Kuno charged in with his speed attack, forcing Desaix to
block with his staff. If Desaix had been paying attention to such things,
he would have noticed that one of the sword slashes cut halfway through the
staff on the opposite side of Ranma's claw marks. Instead, he just sent
out an iron palm from his good arm to Kuno's chin, seeing a wide opening.
Kuno went flying into the wall, unconscious.

Satisfied, Desaix gently picked up the fallen B.B., and sped as fast as he
could back to the doctor's office from which he had come.

* * * * *

People were getting impatient waiting for the cuteness contest to start.

"Hey, what's the delay!" Hiroshi, one of the judges for the event, called
out.

"Yeah, we want to see the girls!" Daisuke chimed in. Other people in the
panel were similarly out of sorts.

Nabiki, meanwhile, laughed. For the first time in this tournament, random
events were helping her obtain her goals instead of going against her. She
calmed herself to step in front of the judges, taking Akane with her, and
smiled. "Sorry, people. There will be no contest, as the other two
participants have been forced to forfeit."

Akane, who was herself surprised at this, said "Forfeit? Why?"

Nabiki smiled again. "For once, it was not of my doing. Azusa has been
unable to recover after getting so dizzy in the kata contest, and Kuno
accidentally knocked out B.B., so they are unable to appear tonight.
Tomorrow will decide the winner of the cup!"

'Oh, well,' Akane thought. She hadn't seen Ranma since the mob of boys had
seperated them, and wasn't really too interested in competing anymore. 'At
least I got to say what I wanted to say... The contests are basically over,
and I'm not sure if we'll even have the kissing contest tomorrow... that'll
ruin my hopes of forcing Ranma to kiss me, but I'm not sure that'll be
necessary- if Ranma feels anything for me, I'm pretty sure I can come up
with some way to get that first real kiss...'

Ranma was standing in the shadows, too far away to be seen. There were way
too many enraged members of the Akane Tendo Fan Club still roaming the
streets, looking for his head, and several of them were at this part of the
competition. While he could easily handle all of Furinkan put together, he
prefered not to fight that many people at once, as it generally tired him
out and drained him for the rest of the day. Besides, he wasn't in the
mood for a fight.

Mikado was walking towards the group, and spied Ranma. "Hello, Ranma, what
are you doing hiding in the bushes like a thief? Too scared to confront
your fiancee after she so eloquently told you of her feelings for you?"

Ranma was not in the mood to be interrupted like that. "Ah, what are you
doing here, Mikado?"

"I have come to tell the fair maiden who has been administering this
competition that Azusa is withdrawing. She's not so stupid as to know that
she cannot win this."

Ranma's eyes widened. If she did that... "Wait! If you do that, then the
contest is over and Akane can't win! I... can't let that happen. Suppose
there was a way to give her an equal chance to win tomorrow- making the
winner of the kissing contest the winner of the whole competition? Would
she be willing to participate then?"

Mikado shrugged. "I suppose so, why?"

"You seem indifferent. Knowing you, I would think you'd WANT the kissing
contest to be held. To tell you the truth, you've been acting real wierd
this whole time- you haven't once threatened to kiss Akane, you haven't hit
on any women... what's going on?"

Mikado smirked. "Yes, girls are my life, but right now I've got a steady
girlfriend."

Ranma's eyes widened. "Who, Azusa?"

Mikado laughed. "Are you kidding? AZUSA?! No, she's my figure skating
partner. I'm willing to kiss her for this contest- kissing is sometimes
part of our figure skating act (it adds a 'romantic element' many judges
like) but no, we couldn't form that kind of a relationship. No, I met a
girl when St. Hebereke's Girl's Rhythmic Gymnastics team performed an
exhibition at Koholtz..." Ranma's eyes widened. "Her name is Kodachi-"

"Kuno, the Black Rose. Yes, I know. I've met her before."

Mikado smiled. "A beauty, isn't she?" Ranma bit his tongue, hard.
"Anyway, why are you so interested in Azusa joining tomorrows competition?"

"Because, while I could care less whether Akane keeps that stupid pig or
not, I... want tomorrow's... uh... kissing contest to... uh... still...
be... held?"

Mikado thought about it. "Oh, very well. Do you have some way to give
Azusa a chance at winning?"

Ranma smirked. "Yes, I do. First, we'll need to have a chat with the
third contestant in this little contest..."

* * * * *

The moment Nabiki got home, Ranma, Mikado, and B.B. descended upon her,
asking her if they could 'talk' about the way she was administering the
tournament. They escorted her to the living room, and sat her down. The
three surrounded her, and Nabiki looked around nervously. The only sound
was that of Kasumi tending the garden, until Nabiki decided to break the
silence.

"Uh, what's going on?" she asked.

Mikado and B.B. looked at Ranma, waiting for him to begin. He looked down
nervously, but he gritted his teeth. He had to get this to work, if his
plan was to succeed. For Akane, he had to risk it...

"Nabiki, we want to remove you as head judge for this tournament. Also,
we're changing the format. The winner of tomorrow's tournament, no matter
who she is, wins the pig."

Nabiki shrugged. "Ah, well. It was a bust for me anyway. As long as I
get paid-"

"Er, that's something we need to talk about," Ranma shyly broke in.
Nabiki's eyes widened, and remarkably her chi flared up just like Akane's
usually did before she malleted him.

B.B., fortunately for Ranma, intervened. "I only agreed to let them change
the format if you returned the money spent hiring you. You ruined the
contest, and so the others deserve a refund... I think its fair- after all,
you were corrupt, you accepted bribes (as I myself will atestify to), and
you stole Bur- er, MY clothes and did other things to ruin my chances in
yesterdays contest solely for revenge. By the way, you owe me a days
rental for the clothes." She smirked slowly.

"I won't do it! And you can't get rid of me- otherwise, who will judge
tomorrows Kissing tournament?!" Nabiki cried. She knew she was losing,
and was only playing for time while she tried to think of something better
to say. She failed to, however, when someone else spoke up. EVERYONE
facefaulted.

* * * * *

Akane walked into the kitchen, looking for Nodoka. She found Kasumi, and
decided she might as well ask her.

"Say, Kasumi, have you seen Ranma around here?"

Kasumi turned to Akane and smiled. "As a matter of fact, I saw him less
than an hour ago. He asked me if I would take over for Nabiki as judge for
your contest."

'I wonder why he did that?' Akane blinked. "Uh, he did? Why?"

"Oh, he said that Nabiki had been acting improperly as a judge, making it
impossible for anyone but Buriko to win, and so he needed someone to
replace her. All your scores are reset, and the winner of tomorrows
contest will win the cup."

Akane blinked again, but this time for a much different reason. "Uh,
Kasumi, you DO know that tomorrow is the Most Passionate Kisser contest..."

Kasumi started to blush. "Oh, my... I almost forgot!" Akane got a little
worried. 'Ranma, why did you do this to Kasumi?' "Ranma told me to give
you this message!" Kasumi handed Akane a piece of paper with some
moderately legible handwriting on it. Kasumi then smiled. "Don't worry
about me judging the contest, though, Akane... I suggested I take over."

Akane's eyes bulged. "You?! B-but you-"

Kasumi smiled. "Yes, me. Now read your letter- Ranma seemed pretty
nervous when he gave it to me."

"Oh... okay." Akane turned around and left the kitchen. 'What's with
Kasumi?' she wondered.

* * * * *

Nabiki was counting the money Ranma had given her after she said 'If you
refuse to pay me, then I'm calling in all of your unpaid loans!' Where he
had gotten nearly 200,000 yens on such short notice was still a mystery,
but she was too preoccupied to worry about it. "So, you think I've been
ruining the contest so far? You're going to steal MY money because of
that? Well, you're about to see what I do when I really want to ruin
something- I want to get my money's worth." She knew her plan had risks,
and she would be indirectly responsible for something which could really
harm a lot of people- especially that annoying B.B.- but she had done worse
for less gain, when people closer to her that bitch could have gotten just
as hurt. She smirked as she remembered the wedding incident.

She picked up her cellular phone and dialed a number. After the other end
picked up, Nabiki began "So, Happosai, you want to get back into this
house, huh? Well, I have an idea, but its going to cost you..."

* * * * *

Akane opened the letter.

"Akane," it read.

"I truly loved your song, and wish you would sing more often. I am unsure
how to respond to it, however. I think I (a lot of words scribbled out)
feel the same way about you, but I have a lot of problems telling you. I
intend to solve those problems tomorrow- I made arrangements to keep the
contest going for that specific purpose (Azusa was going to withdraw,
ending the tournament with your loss, until I got together with Mikado to
give the two of you a chance) and will talk to you more about it tomorrow.
In the meantime, however, I have to prepare..."

The signature caused Akane to blink. It had been scratched out and
rewritten about ten times, but in the end its words were, though simple,
quite meaningful.

"With all of my love, Ranma."

There was, however, another line which caused her to laugh, breaking the
tension she felt. "P.S.- leave the tape at home... I don't want a repeat
of the Romeo and Juliette incident."

* * * * *

"For what purpose hast thou requested an audience of The Blue Thunder?"
Kuno demanded. B.B. smirked. She walked over to Kuno and, in order to
maintain the PG rating of this fanfic, whispered something in his ear too
quiet to be overheard. Kuno's eyes widened. "MY LADY, I COULD NEVER-"
B.B. put her hand over Kuno's mouth and whispered something else in his
ear. He backed up and assumed a noblemans stance. "My emotions are
divided enough, ma'am- and even considering such an act would betray my
beloveds-" B.B. whispered something else in Kuno's ear, and he blinked.
"I suppose that makes sense... very well, ma'am, I shall hire you for...
the purpose we discussed."

B.B. smirked again, wrapping her arm around Kuno's. 'I've still got it,'
she thought as they began the journey from the back gate of the Tendo Dojo
to the Kuno estate.

Behind them, a large black bird began hopping from branch to branch,
following them.

* * * * *

'Well,' Ranma thought, 'Other than Kuno, that's the last of them, and I can
call him tomorrow morning... Everything is all set. Now... all I have to
do is to bring myself to actually kiss her...'

* * * * *

A raven was staring at the scene it was flying over. The large black bird
had a somewhat deformed leg and a bent wing, but still seemed capable of
flight. In fact, it was carrying something as it flew.

Desaix, in his bird form, tossed the bucket of water on B.B. and Kuno,
kissing and loosening clothes on each other. Both sputtered and turned to
see where the sudden attack had come from.

"Oh, you foul fowl, for disrupting this most precious and passionate of
joinings, you shall face my wrath!" Kuno stood up, grabbed a bokken out of
no-where, and charged at the battered bird. Buriko, blushing terrible,
tightened the string fastening of her lace-up leather halter top, and
looked around to see what was going on. Once she saw a black blur trying
to avoid the furious kendoist, she realized what happened, and grabbed a
table that, fortunately, was nearby. She bashed it over the back of Kuno's
head, knocking him out. She picked up the bird, who had crashed into the
wall trying to avoid the last swing of the bokken, and carried him with her
as she hurriedly left the mansion.

"Oh, you stupid bird, why did you do that?" Buriko chastized. Then she
sighed, carrying him to the Tendo dojo. "I'm sorry, I know you were just
protecting me from my other self. But you are going to get yourself in
trouble with B.B. doing this kind of thing- though I'm not sure about this
one. She seems very confused in her feelings right now, and I gather Kuno
was just a 'see if I still can seduce them' kind of deal... she HAD given
up on her... professional life... since we started after Happosai-chan, and
wanted to 'keep in practice,' as she phrased it. To tell you the truth, I
think that she's somewhat upset at YOU, and is taking her agression out by
engaging in... other activities. Both of us are a little stunned by your
behaviour today- are you mad at me or something?" Raven-Desaix shook his
head slowly. "Well, okay then. Just relax. When we get home, I'll get
you some hot water, and if its not too late we'll talk about today."
Desaix, cradled in Buriko's arms, nodded. If he had been human, you would
have seen a small smile as he fell asleep in her arms.

* * * * *

The next morning, Desaix, still a bird, woke up in his bed. Strapped to
the back of the slightly opened door of his room was a note.

"Dez," Buriko's handwriting began.

"Good morning! I didn't want to wake you up when we got home, you were
sleeping so peacefully. I guess we'll talk later. I'm still in my Buriko
form (I don't want to change back to B.B. until you become human, at least-
I'm too worried she'd try and kill you!) and will try and remain so for a
while. Nodoka wanted to take me and Akari clothes shopping (my clothes
disappeared, and Akari didn't have many when she got here, so Ranma's
mother decided to help us replenish our wardrobe) so I probably won't be
here when you wake up in the morning. I left the door open wide enough for
you to get out of the room, and I set your clothes up for you in the
bathroom. I don't know when I'll be back, but I'll see you at the
contest."

The rest of the letter was written shakily. "By the way, are you still
willing to be my partner for this last contest? I really need your help in
order to win, but you and I haven't been getting along so well recently,
but, oh, you know what I'm trying to say, I hope. Your good friend,
Buriko."

Desaix waddled out of the door and stretched his wings. The wing which
corresponded to his sprained arm had stiffened up, and he found he couldn't
flap well enough to fly anymore, so he wobbled as best he could on his sore
foot to the bathroom, and hopped into the bath. After getting dressed, he
was approached by someone with a certain sheet of paper...

* * * * *

Desaix was smiling a lopsided smile to himself as he waited for the kissing
contest to begin. It was lopsided because he was trying to smile two
different ways at once. One smile was amused- he had recently had two
people approach him to help with various stages of the same thing. He was
sworn to secrecy, but he couldn't help but imagine what the two sides would
think when the other sprung their plan.

The other smile was sad. Buriko, upon returning home, didn't have enough
time to talk with him before she had to get ready for the tournament.
First, of course, she had to find out that he was willing to go through
with it, but when he said yes she had to run around adjusting her newly
bought clothes, and warm up a tea kettle, and various other little things,
but they weren't able to discuss the problems they were having. He was
also a little sad because, while he was about to try to give B.B. the most
passionate kiss in Nerima, he would only be doing so as a friend- and not
even to B.B., but to Buriko. He'd been planning to tell Buriko at least a
little bit of his feelings for her in that conversation they were supposed
to have, but now... he'd been building up the confidence to tell her for so
long that this setback seemed to be fate telling him to not even try. He
sighed.

He looked at the assembled people. There was B.B., who hadn't said a word
to him since she transformed. She still seemed upset about the Kuno
incident, and Desaix knew she wouldn't forgive him until he apologized.
Desaix also knew he would not apologize for that, since Buriko had asked
him long ago to help keep her 'original' self in check.

Kuno, standing between his sister (who herself was talking to Mikado
quietly, though she DID occasionally briefly laugh her insane little laugh)
and his child-like ninja-dressed servant, was standing among the group of
spectators. He seemed to be staring first at B.B., then at Akane, then back
at B.B., then back at Akane. Every time he changed girls, his expression
became more and more shamed.

There was Mousse and, well, Desaix assumed the girl he was standing next to
with the bluish-purple hair was Shampoo. Mousse was cleaning his glasses
while Shampoo looked about suspiciously. Desaix shrugged- he knew almost
nothing about them, other than Akane apparently didn't like Shampoo very
much, and that Shampoo looked a LOT like B.B. did.

Ryouga decided to make an appearance as a human, with Akari on his arm. He
had accidentally walked into her path while stretching his legs, and told
Akari that he was the 'prize' of the contest, saying that Akane was trying
to win him 'so as to keep him from having to reveal his curse to
strangers.'

There were still other wierd characters in the group of spectators. There
was a guy with a broom strapped on his back, who was asking everyone
repeatedly who they were. There was some wierd guy with dark circles under
his eyes and candles strapped on his head. There was a girl holding a bowl
of ramen twirling noodles in the air. Then there was a... was it a guy or
girl? holding a oversized spatula. There were dozens of other men (many of
whom Desaix recognized from the singing contest) and women, all of whom
were looking at either Akane or Ranma with stars in their eyes, but Desaix
sensed a certain tension among them all. He fingered his walking stick
nervously, worried that another riot was about to start.

Also on hand was Ranma's and Akane's family. They had arrived, uninvited,
and the match was being delayed long enough for them to set up some video
equipment. Both Ranma and Akane stared at them nervously.

A notable exception, however, was Nabiki. Desaix mentally shrugged- he'd
heard that Nabiki had gone ballistic when she was removed as the tournament
judge, but he assumed that she wouldn't want to miss this- this event would
be unforgettable. Apparently, he was wrong.

* * * * *

Nabiki walked into the kitchen, looking for a snack. A note was stuck to
the refrigerator door, addressed to her, from Kasumi. Nabiki shrugged,
pulled it out from underneath the panda-shaped magnet, and read it. Then
she read it a second time. Then a third. Then a fourth. Every time she
read it, she had a certain thought repeat itself, each time growing in
strength.

'Uh oh... Ranma and Akane are REALLY going to kill me this time...'

* * * * *

Akane, looking nervously at the large crowd of spectators, turned to Ranma
worriedly.

"Ranma... I don't like the look of this. Who told all these people about
this contest? Do you think Nabiki somehow told them? I'd be surprised if
she did, because we didn't even tell her where this was being held!"

Ranma put a hand behind his head. "Oh... no, she didn't tell them..."

Akane looked at him suspiciously. "Then who did?"

"Er... I... did."

"WHAT? Why in the world did you-"

At that moment their parents finished setting up the video equipment.
"Okay, contestants," Kasumi said, drawing everyone's attention, "We're
ready to begin! The girl with the most passionate kiss in the quickest
amount of time wins!"

Akane broke off what she was about to ask Ranma and turned to him. Her
face began to get red as the realization of what they were about to do hit
her with full force. Ranma, himself, was swallowing uncomfortably, his
right hand still behind his head.

Akari turned to Ryouga, and smiled at him. "I suppose you need to go,
now."

Ryouga turned to her, a little sadly. "Yeah, I suppose I do. They're
going to need a prize to award, after all." Akari grabbed him by the
shoulders, sliding her hands up and down his arms.

She drew him towards her suddenly and kissed him deeply. When she
withdrew, a little trickle of blood could be seen coming out of his nose.
"See you soon," she giggled, as he slowly staggered off to the back of a
building, where he doused himself with cold water and walked (in pig form)
into his cage.

As he did, Soun walked over to Kasumi and whispered something to her.
About halfway through, she gasped "Oh, my!" and raised her hand to cover
her mouth. When her hand moved away, her usual smile had been replaced by
the smile she usually had when she wanted to keep from laughing at Dr.
Tofu.

Mikado was attempting to calm Kodachi and to keep her from killing Azusa
after she found out exactly what kind of contest this was. He was having a
very difficult time of it, but had thus far avoided being gassed or
poisoned.

Desaix turned to B.B., and bit his lip nervously. In her eyes, Desaix saw
something out of the ordinary. He wasn't sure what it was, but he thought
that it was simple revulsion at having to kiss him. 'Oh, well,' he
mentally sighed.

"I don't think we stand a chance. You don't have to do this is you don't
want to," Desaix said to her quietly enough so that he wouldn't be
overheard.

B.B. blinked, surprised. "What are you talking about? This is me! Trust
me, even if you do lack experience, I AM very capable of making this kiss
quite passionate." That last sentence was said with a hint of spite.

Desaix half-smiled. "Promise, if I explain to you, you won't say or do
anything about it?"

She shrugged, thinking 'What is he talking about?' before nodding in the
affirmative. Desaix pointed at Ranma and Akane. She turned to face them,
and her eyes widened. "Is that a-"

"Shh," he broke in. "And yes, it is."

B.B. thought about it for a second, before turning back towards Desaix and
cocking her head. "Big deal. We should still try- I refuse to quit this
contest. I want that pig, and I will do anything I can to get it!"

Before Desaix could Reply, Kasumi once again spoke. "People, you may...
commence... at any time!"

Akane, trembling, started to move in on Ranma, but with his left arm he
stopped her. "Akane, wait... there's something I want to tell you
first..." Akane looked into his eyes, just as she had when she was singing
for him the previous day. He stopped right there, returning the stare, not
able to say anything else.

Mikado, with Kodachi glaring at him, nervously pecked Azusa on the lips.
Azusa, however, did not appreciate his brevity, and began whining.
"MIKADO! Azusa wants her Charlotte! If you no kiss Azusa better than
that, Azusa loses her Charlotte! Kiss Azusa better!" She began banging
him on the head, and everyone turned was so startled that they turned to
watch. Before she could get very far, however, Kodachi intervened.

The resulting confusion was enough to break Ranma out of his mental lock,
and, as he turned back to face Akane, he had a new look of determination in
his face. When she was facing him again, he took a deep breath to calm
himself and began a little speech.

"Akane... I did invite all these people here. I did it for a reason." He
raised his voice a bit, so that everyone would hear. "I invited these
people here so that they can see that I have finally decided. Akane,
yesterday, you sang a very beautiful song for me. It convinced me it
was... okay... to tell you this. Akane, I love you- I love you more than
life itself. And, loving you as I do... I want to make it official." He
got down on one knee, and pulled his hand back from behind his head,
revealing a small box. With a practised motion, he opened the box to
reveal a diamond ring. "Akane, will you now WILLINGLY become my wife?"

The entire Tendo and Saotome clan facefaulted, Kasumi included. On the
sidelines, all of the women save Akari gasped. The men, however, were
waiting desperately for Akane's response.

B.B., who had turned with Desaix to face Ranma and Akane to watch the
proposal they knew was coming, grasped his hand unconsciously. Desaix
blinked and looked at B.B. She was smiling, seemingly daydreaming.

Akane looked at Ranma, eyes wider than they had ever been as she stared at
the ring. Tears started to form as she put her hand on Ranma's, and
grasped the ring. "Of course, you dummy!" She put the ring on her finger
and pulled Ranma up and into her arms. They approached each other, and
their lips touched. The kiss continued for quite some time. Everyone in
the stands stood stock still, shocked.

Still unconsciously grasping Desaix's hand, B.B. whispered to him "I could
beat that... but I don't think I want to. I'm not heartless!" Desaix was
still staring at her strangely, and B.B. was about to ask him why when the
riot started.

It was as he pulled away to protect that she realized she had been holding
his hand. For the first time in a long time, she blushed as B.B. 'Now,
why was I doing that?' she asked. 'I mean, I realize I was caught up in
the moment, but why HIM? I don't feel anything for him in this form... do
I?' She turned away from the army of Ranma and Akane suitors to think
about things.

Ranma and Akane, themselves, were oblivious to everything, still engaged in
their kiss. Seeing this, Genma, Soun, and Nodoka decided to protect their
children, and moved to join Desaix protecting the couple.

"Why are you protecting them, Desaix," Nodoka asked, ducking a flying slice
of fish sausage.

Desaix smiled despite being smashed in the stomache with a brush handle,
whose owner promptly forgot why he had thrown the blow in the first place
before being motivated to renew his attack after once again seeing Ranma
and Akane kissing. "Well, I'm beginning to consider Ranma something of a
friend- he and I have been confidants since I got here. In fact, I gave
him the money to buy Akane's ring. But, besides all that, look at
them-wouldn't you defend those two, even if you didn't know them?" Desaix
sent the forgetful boy flying by pressing the button on his staff.

Nodoka smiled, sidestepping a flying noodle. "I suppose I would..."

Desaix then saw someone who he had really felt like beating up since he met
him, and moved in. Kuno, himself, had been fighting on, silently for once,
and was performing better than he ever had in his life. He had just sent
Soun flying as Desaix reached him, and turned with a swing that could have
cut through steel.

Desaix sidestepped, retracting the extension of his walking stick. "I'm
sick of you, Kuno. FIRST, you knock B.B. out, and then you seduce her!"

That caused Kuno to speak again. "I! Seduce HER! BY WHAT RIGHT DO YOU
CHARGE ANY FROM THE HOUSE OF KUNO WITH SUCH IMPROPRIETIES! I SHALL MAKE
THEE PAY!"

Desaix ducked to avoid a slash from Kuno's bokken, and pressed the button
on his staff as the sword flashed overhead. The extension came up behind
the flat of the bokked, and Desaix knocked the sword downwards with his
staff. Using his free hand, Desaix began wheel punching Kuno in the nose
and jaw. After his forearm had circled six times, Desaix dropped his staff
and brought his other hand in to iron palm punch Kuno across Nerima.

He rolled to avoid a bonbori as he picked his walking stick back up. He
turned, and smashed the two bonbori. Seeing Mousse behind the Amazon girl,
he shouted "Mousse! If you don't want Shampoo to get hurt, get her out of
this fight NOW!" Shampoo pulled a giant sword out of nowhere ('Mousse not
only one who can hide weapons!' she thought), and swung it at Desaix. He
blocked with the extension of his walking stick, and sparks flew as the
metal of Shampoo's sword slid down the metal of Desaix's weapon. She drew
back to swing again before chains wrapped themselves all around her.

"Come on, Shampoo," Mousse shouted. "Ranma has decided, and he doesn't
love you nor does he want to marry you. This fight is pointless- it will
only anger him and get you hurt!" Shampoo didn't have much say in the
matter, as Mousse pulled her away.

A hockey stick was swung at him from some unknown Akane Tendo fan, and
Desaix barely blocked it in time. His tardiness was punished by having his
weapon break at the point where a man clawed through it, a bokken cleaved
it, and an Amazon sword slid into it. Desaix stared at the broken piece
lying on the ground as the hockey stick came down over his head.

It rapped him on the head, causing a small cut to open up, but the blow
would have been much more serious if a giant spatula hadn't caught the
weapon before it could finish its near killing blow.

"Need a hand, sugar?" Ukyo asked him, knocking the hockey stick away.
Desaix, quite dazed, merely looked at her wide eyed and nodded. Ukyo
grimaced, seeing the blood trickle from the back of his head across his
neck and down to his neck. Then she turned on the man who had been using
the stick, and shouted fiercely. "STOP THIS! NOW!" Everyone, save Ranma
and Akane (who were still kissing and were quite oblivious to everything),
turned to her in surprise. "This has gone on FAR too long! Ranma and
Akane have made there decision! They probably made it long ago," Tears
formed at the corners of her eyes, "but I was too blind to see it. I
thought that doing what you are trying to do know would help me win
Ranchan's heart, but... all you will do is drive the person you're after
further away! It isn't worth this fight. Look at this!" She pointed to
Desaix. "You nearly killed someone, just because he was trying to keep
Ranchan and Akane from being blindsided and mauled by you guys! Give it
up! You've lost! If you truly love them, let them go..." The tears
started flowing. "as I had to..."

The people who had been rioting, one by one, started leaving the scene.
They had been less influenced by her words as by her face when she said
those words- they were all quite aware of who she was, and all knew how
much she had loved Ranma. If she was going to protect the couple, what
right had they to oppose her?

As the crowd dissipated, a three foot tall, three hundred year old master
of martial arts looked on. Now was his time to strike.

* * * * *

Nabiki ran through the streets, carrying some thermos's of hot water. 'Way
to go, Nabiki,' she chastized herself. 'You don't even have the excuse of
making money for this one! You let anger cloud your judgement to the point
of making such a stupid plan as this! And for what? Just to get revenge
for something as stupid as being judge over this contest! Ranma and Akane
are REALLY going to kill me over this one!' She sighed. 'Well, its not
like Happosai would actually kill someone- he's just training them, most of
the time that he's angry. And at least I can try and make it up to them
partially by trying to bring them this hot water- knowing how attracted to
cold water these cursed people are, I suspect it'll come in handy for the
fight that's coming.'

She was so absorbed by her thoughts that she didn't notice the little cage
in front of her until she tripped over it.

* * * * *

Nodoka, Soun, and Genma were starting to take down the video equipment they
had brought, B.B. had splashed herself with water to become Buriko and was
talking quietly with Ukyo and Akari, and Desaix was wiping the blood off of
himself using some bandages from a first aid kit Kasumi had with her when
Ranma and Akane finally broke their kiss. Kasumi pulled Desaix aside.

"Are you ready to..." He nodded. Kasumi walked over to Ranma and Akane,
who were still holding each other, smiling into their eyes. "I'm sorry,
you two, but you only came in second."

The two blinked, and facefaulted, turning towards Kasumi.

Desaix, himself, was stunned. Less so, however, than Ranma and Akane- he
was actually able to talk. "How could you possibly come to the conclusion
that there was a kiss more passionate than THAT, Kasumi?"

Kasumi smiled. "Oh, my, I couldn't do that. I rated their kiss a ten.
But, as the rules you agreed to before this contest started clearly states,
their is also the matter of which girl gets her partner to kiss her first.
When the points for that are figured in, you two are just BARELY squeezed
by."

Ranma blinked. "Who? Azusa and Mikado?"

Kasumi's smile broadened. "Oh, my, no. They were the second couple to
kiss- they got three points for the time and two points for the kiss- that
was a very nice kiss those two had, but it was more sisterly than
passionate."

Desaix frowned. "But... B.B. and I haven't even kissed yet- we basically
decided there was no way we could match that kiss, and we were the only
other couple participating!"

Kasumi laughed. "If you recall what I said at the beginning, the girl with
the most passionate kiss in the shortest amount of time wins. I didn't say
that the girl had to be Akane, Azusa, or Buriko. No, the winner of the
tournament is Akari, who had a kiss which rated an seven before anyone
else. So, she gets the five points for the first kiss, and added to the
seven that gives her twelve points. You people had a kiss I rated a ten,
but because you were the third couple to initiate a kiss, you only get one
point for time and so end up with eleven points."

Ranma, trying to keep his elation at no longer having to deal with P-Chan
in, turned to Akane. "I'm sorry that you lost your pet, Akane-"

Akane laughed. "Oh, don't worry about it. Ryouga... told me he was P-Chan
when Akari showed up." At Ranma's panicked look, Akane squeezed his
shoulder. "I don't blame you- Ryouga's the one at fault. Its probably a
good thing that I lost, anyway. I fully accept your decision, Kasumi-
Akari is the winner!"

'Wait a minute,' Ranma thought, 'If Akane knew two days ago about P-Chan,
than why...'

"Hear that, Akari?" Desaix's shout over to her interrupted his thoughts.
"You won the co- ohhhh!" He grabbed his head as the mild concussion he had
recieved in the fight kicked in. Buriko ran over to him.

"Desaix, are you..." She noticed something in the distance, and blinked.
She couldn't believe what- or actually, who- she was seeing. "Ha...
Happosai-chan!? HAPPOSAI-CHAN!" She sprinted over to the little martial
artist, who had just turned the corner heading into the empty lot that the
contest had been held in. Ranma and Akane, still with their arms wrapped
around each other, both winced in disgust as she picked him up with one arm
and squeezed his cheek with another, spinning him and sighing
"Haaaappooosaaaiiiii-Chaaaaan!" as she spun him in the air. Desaix dizzily
looked up at the scene, and slowly stood up. He reached for his walking
stick, and then remembered that it had snapped in two and was no longer of
any use, even to help him stand. He limped forward, towards Buriko.

Happosai took out his pipe and flicked Buriko away. She sat up, stunned.

"What's going on?" Ukyo, sidling up to Ranma and Akane, asked.

"Er, well," Ranma began, "As near as I can figure out from what Desaix has
told us, Happosai gave Buriko a love potion. It kinda backfired, because
it made her so obsessed with him that... well... he's terrified of her...
affections." Ukyo laughed. The idea that the worlds biggest pervert would
be scared of some hugs and kisses from as attractive a woman as Buriko
amused her.

"Happosai-chan, what's the matter?" Buriko asked sadly. "I just want to
pinch your little cheeks!" She started to run back towards him.

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU BITCH!" Happosai shouted. Ukyo stopped laughing,
Buriko stumbled and fell to her knees in heartbreak, and everyone else
facefaulted. Everyone but Desaix, that is. Something in him snapped, and
he started staggering towards Happosai. The pain in his head was
excrutiating, and the disruption of his concentration the concussion cause
made it impossible for him to ignore the pain in his arm and leg.
Happosai, seeing his weakened condition, essentially ignored his approach.
"I've tried running from you, I've tried tossing you away, and I've tried
doing things which I know you hate, and I CAN'T get you away from me! What
will it take to get you to realize that I want nothing to do with you!" He
pulled out one of his firecracker bombs. "In fact, I want you dead!" He
lit the bomb and tossed it at her.

In the last moment before it would have hit her, Desaix jumped in front,
landing awkwardly on his bad foot. Crying out in pain, he put what
remained of his strength into a massive iron palm to the bomb, shattering
it and sending the pieces flying everywhere. Desaix stumbled and fell to
his knees and grabbed his aching head in his hands, too worn and battered
after the three days of sporatic battles to even lift his head up to face
Happosai.

"You aren't good enough to fight me, boy. Don't throw your life away
needlessly- stand aside and let me finish her!"

"NO!" Desaix cried. Forcing his head up, he lifted himself up off the
ground and stood, gasping for breath as his head spun. The cut on his head
was bleeding again, he could feel, but he didn't really have enough time to
think about that. "I am this woman's protector. It is my duty to see that
she is unharmed by the likes of you!" The act of shouting caused his
vision to blur again, but he tried not to let it show.

Happosai started moving closer. "Is that all? Give up, boy! It may be
your duty to protect this woman, but you are not physically capable of
doing so. You have done your best! If the only reason you are trying to
protect her is because of 'duty,' then leave this fight now!"

Desaix's eyes snapped into focus. "There is, in fact, another reason I
fight for her- and I fully expect to die for her now, considering the shape
I'm in. I love her- more than anything else in this world- and if you are
going to kill her, then I don't want to be around to see it. But you will
have to get by me, first!"

Buriko facefaulted. 'He loves me? But... he's been so cross with me
lately... and he's never returned any affections I have shown him... and...
and...' She looked at the bleeding, limping form of Desaix, standing
between her and the man she thought she loved but who wanted to kill her.
But she knew she didn't really feel that way- he had drugged her into
believing she loved him. But if she didn't love him, then... what was her
purpose? She didn't really feel worthy of being a priestess, with her
normal form and all, but she couldn't stand the thought of following B.B.'s
profession. So... why had she stayed at the temple all those months?

"Very well, boy," Happosai smirked evilly. "If you want to die, I can
oblige you- but first, for angering me, I think that you should see
yourself fail! BEANJAM BLOWOUT!" Happosai launched the chi attack,
knocking Desaix out of his way and back onto his head, darting for Buriko.
A palm shining a darker blue than he had ever seen before stopped him and
slammed him into the ground. Happosai blinked- Desaix was once again
standing in front of him, but this time he was smiling- and glowing with
angry chi.

"Thanks, Happy, you knocked me back into fighting form! But, for daring to
harm Buriko, you must PAY!" Desaix began throwing fierce iron palms.
Happosai first tried blocking, but his arms were burned by the intensity of
the battle aura that surrounded him.

Buriko blinked. Desaix had always controlled his chi before- he had never
glowed for more than a few seconds, and he normally was smiling afterwards.
'Oh, gods,' she realized, 'he's concentrated all of the anger and despair
he has experienced inside himself, and he's built up a battery of chi with
it. Now, because Happosai threatened me, he's going to release it all...'

Happosai started trying to counterattack, but his blows were ignored and
the openings that the strikes he attempted allowed Desaix to pummel him
that much harder. Happosai tried bounding away, but eventually was backed
first into a lamp post and then into a wall. 'This boy isn't as skilled as
Ranma, who's the only one who has ever come close to beating me before, or
even Genma or Soun. How come I can't stop him? I've got to do something,
fast, or else he'll kill me!'

Desaix laughed a somewhat deranged laugh. "FACE THE BOTTLED ANGER OF A
LIFETIME, 'HAPPY!'" Desaix drew back to deliver a death blow, but was
stopped short by a blow of Happosai's pipe to his injured arm. Happosai,
though relieved to finally score a blow, did not relax. He sent another
jarring blow of the pipe to Desaix's wounded leg, causing him to fall.
Desaix's glow died, and he merely watched as Happosai ran up to deliver a
death blow to himself. Just as Happosai's arm came down, however, Desaix
caught his bare wrist with his good hand, and stood up on his good leg. "I
might not be in good enough shape to win unscathed, Happy, but I can still
keep you from killing Buriko!" With that, Desaix iron palmed the lamp post
with his other arm, breaking it in two. As it fell over, he reached in and
grabbed the exposed wires. Bolts of electricity went coarsing through his
body and into Happosai's.

"NO! DEZ-CHAN! DON'T KILL YOURSELF FOR ME!" Buriko cried, arriving a
second to late to stop him. She turned to a horrified group of Ranma,
Akane, and Ukyo, and cried out to them "Do something! Stop this! Now!"

Perhaps it was because they were partially grounded, or perhaps it was
because they had added endurance from their martial arts training, but
Desaix and Happosai were still alive by the time Ranma reacted. Grabbing a
stunned Ukyo's throwing spatula, he sent it flying, cutting the lines
Desaix was holding on to. Desaix collapsed, still holding a badly injured
Happosai. Buriko ran over to the two of them, addressing Desaix first.

"You macho pig!" She cried softly, cradling his head. "Why did you do
that! I've told you before, I can take care of myself- I don't need your
protection! Why!"

Happosai reached over and grabbed Buriko. Despite the revulsion that had
grown in him for that girl, he could still heal himself using her to fuel
his pervert power. He stood up. "A good attempt, priest, but you failed.
Now, while you still have life in your body, see your beloved die!" He
drew out another of his bombs, and was about to light it when a pair of
flying kicks caught him in the chest.

'Oh, great. Just what I needed. More interruptions- and Nabiki said this
would be easy to do!' Happosai thought. Between him and Buriko stood a
united and very angry Ranma and Akane.

"Give it up, you old troll!" Ranma shouted. "Desaix and Buriko are my...
OUR friends, and we won't let you harm them!"

Happosai sighed. "Oh, very well, Ranma, me boy, if you want a fight,
you've got it!" Happosai finally started getting his bombs off, and was
tossing them left and right. In the smoke screen created by all the
explosions, he had ample time to use his battle aura growth attack. The
giant Chi-Happosai spun out of the way of a Moko Takabishi, though its
dodge sent it straight into Akane's massive kick. "BEANJAM BLOWOUT!" the
monstrosity cried out, and the couple was blasted out of the lot. Happosai
shrunk down to his normal size, and started charging in on Buriko and
Desaix. Buriko, still taking care of Desaix, crying while putting
makeshift bandages over his many wounds, didn't even notice Happosai
charging in. Happosai was stopped once more from his destination, however,
by a dripping wet Ryouga's umbrella block. "AAAGH! IS EVERYONE AND HIS
BROTHER GOING TO TRY AND STOP ME!" Happosai cried.

Nabiki walked into the scene, carrying an empty thermos. Ukyo, Genma,
Nodoka, and Soun also appeared to join the fight as Ranma and Akane
re-appeared on the scene. "Yes, they are," Nabiki said. 'It's a good
thing I found Ryouga in that cage... otherwise, the others wouldn't have
had enough time to get here. But I see Kasumi's plans have failed, so I
doubt Ranma and Akane will be forgiving me that easily..."

"No, they aren't," Buriko said. "Mrs. Saotome, would you please look after
Dez-chan for me?" Nodoka, seeing her sincere expression, nodded and walked
over to Desaix, and began tending to his wounds as Buriko stepped towards
Happosai. "Happosai, I am not going to let you harm anyone else. Your
quarrel is with me- don't take it out on these others." She fell into a
fighting stance, starting to glow with chi herself. "But I warn you,
Dez-chan trained me to be a better fighter than even he was, and you KNOW
how good he was!"

'Not as good as he performed, girl,' Happosai smirked. "So be it." He
darted for her, but she flipped over him, her front foot smacking him in
the back of the head as she passed. She spun around before he could, and
delivered a massive backhand to the body, knocking him across the lot. He
stood up angrily. "Okay, no more mister nice guy!" He pulled out and
tossed a dozen of his lit bombs at her. In one sweeping motion, she punted
all of them right back at him. They went off just as they reached him,
further angering him. He charged again, this time determined to hit her no
matter what. She rolled, picking up a loose stone, and tossed it dead
center for his forehead.

Happosai succeeded in dodging the rock, but failed to account for the open
mouth of a giant sumo pig being ridden by a very familiar girl. With one
bite, the founder of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts was no longer
a concern.

'Now THAT'S a macho pig,' Buriko thought.

"When the fighting started, I figured I should find Katsunishiki," Akari
said, smiling. "Did I miss anything?"

* * * * *

Desaix opened his eyes slowly.

"AARGH! Turn down that light, somebody!" he cried, squinting to focus out
the harsh light. He tried to cover his eyes with his hand, but found that
his arm wasn't moving- something was holding it down. He turned his head
and blinked, trying to make out what the fuzzy shape that was holding his
arm down was.

"D... Dez-chan? Are you awake?" Buriko's voice answered. Apparently, her
head had been what was keeping it down, as the fuzzy shape appeared to sit
up and look at him.

"Yeah, I guess so. Why's it so bright in here? And where am I anyway?"

"You're in the hospital. You were in a coma for nearly a week... I was so
worried." The Buriko-voice shape reached over and hugged him gently. "How
do you feel?"

Desaix tried to shrug. "I dunno- a bit stiff, and I can't see a thing.
Um, what happened?"

Buriko blinked. "You mean you don't remember the fight?"

"Fight? What fi- oh, yeah. I remember now. I survived it? But what
about Happosai? If he's still out there, he might find out where you are
and-"

"Shh..." she whispered. "Happosai... isn't a problem any more. Everyone
kinda got together and helped out- believe it or not, though, he was
finished off by a GIGANTIC pig... you wouldn't believe it if you saw it."

Desaix chuckled lightly. "Well, if I saw it right now and its as large as
you seem to be saying, I probably would take it as my mind playing tricks
on me." Buriko laughed as well. Then she turned serious.

"So... why didn't you ever tell me you loved me before?"

Desaix sighed. He still couldn't make out Buriko, and so couldn't see her
expression when she said it. He thought, for a moment, that she was mad at
him for loving her. "I... I couldn't take the chance. If I told you and
you left me because of it, I would have lost you. I figured, also, that at
least one side of you wouldn't return my love."

"But you DO love me? And yet not my other personality?"

Desaix smiled carelessly. "I wouldn't say that. I love both of your
forms, but... well... your Buriko personality is so innocent that I can't
see it returning my feelings the same way, and your B.B. personality is
so... promiscuous... that I was worried that she would think 'Why take
Desaix when I can have any man I want?' But... I love them both, because
they both are a part of the same person- YOU. And that's who I love."

Buriko put a hand to his chin. "I don't think you were right. I... I love
you too, Dez-chan. I didn't realize it until I saw you nearly die trying
to stop Happosai, but... well, to be honest, my love for you is what broke
the 'spell' he had me under, and that was when I knew." She kissed him
lightly on the nose. "Next time you need to tell someone something
important like that, though, you should pick a better time!" She gave him
another gentle hug before standing up, sighing. "I'd better call and tell
the doctor and the others that you've woken up."

Desaix smiled. "Well, I am still quite tired. I think I'll take a nap
while you call in the others. Good night, Buriko."

"THAT'S B.B.!" she quietly shouted, gently thwapping him on the arm.
Desaix did his best lying-down facefault as she turned to leave. Then she
turned back. "Oh, yeah, by the way, I was told to tell you something when
you woke up..."

* * * * *

Desaix winced as he pulled the last piece of his shinto robes over his
hospital gown. "You know, I really don't need to be here for this."

Nodoka laughed loudly- something which really wasn't advisable in the
hospital Chapel, as it was a bit small and loud outbursts tended to carry.
"Of course you do! We want all of our friends to be here for this, and I
think by now you qualify."

"That's not what I meant," Desaix said, adjusting the folds of his clothing
so as to cover up all the bandages. "A shinto priest ISN'T required for a
shinto wedding."

"True," Ranma said, smiling at Akane in her wedding dress as he arrived.
"But we wanted this to be special. Should we start?"

The wedding went smoothly, with no ex-fiancees throwing fits (Shampoo was
there, but she had been invited only on the condition that her arms and
legs be firmly tied to a chair, so as to prevent her from killing anyone.
So were the Kuno's, but Nabiki, in order to help 'make up' for the Happosai
incident, was keeping them under control) or old rivals seeking vengeance
(Ryouga was the best man, Mousse was trying to calm Shampoo down, and, as
was said before, Nabiki was handling Kuno). When they reached the
traditional drink of sake, Buriko, dressed in her old shinto robes, leaned
over to Desaix and whispered in his ear "Maybe you and I can do that, one
of these days," causing him to blush deeply.

After the wedding, Ranma and Akane came up to Desaix and Buriko to thank
them for coming and for all of their help in the preparations.

"Oh, it was nothing," Desaix replied. "Kasumi had actually asked me to
prepare to marry you two on the day of the kissing contest. I even had
your marriage license ready then, but so many things happened that...
well... you know." Ranma and Akane nodded.

"So," Akane asked. "Are you guys going back to your temple, now that this
Happosai thing has been settled?"

Buriko looked at Desaix questioningly when he shrugged. "I dunno. I've
rather enjoyed this little trip Buriko and I have had, despite it almost
literally costing me an arm and a leg to finally admit to her how I feel.
I was thinking about retiring from the priesthood- at least temporarily.
It doesn't really suit Buriko, with her... problem and all." She thwapped
him on the ribs (one of the few safe places to hit him, she found)
muttering something about a 'Sexist notions' as he continued. "After all
this, maybe she and I could open up a dojo of our own- provide you two with
a little competition."

Ranma laughed. "Well, you two DID beat Happosai for good, which is
something I've never been able to do. It just might work!"

A nurse came in, and whispered something to Buriko, who nodded. "Well,"
Buriko said, "Dez-chan needs to be going now... its his DOCTOR ISSUED rest
time."

Desaix glared at her before raising a glass of sparkling cider (the
hospital forbade champagne). "To a wonderful life together for you both,"
he toasted, downing his drink before offering an arm to Buriko, who took
it.

"Enjoy the honeymoon!" Buriko called jokingly as they started leaving.

Desaix blushed. He turned to her as they opened the door. "Just which
form are you in now, anyways?"

Ranma and Akane laughed as they departed. Then they turned and left the
little chapel themselves to do just what Buriko had suggested.

------------------------------------------------------- --------------------

FINALLY! Finished. You know, this was originally supposed to be a short,
one part fic which wouldn't have taken more than a week, and now its a
seven part fanfic which is actually larger than the 'Big Guy' I've been
talking about is! (Of course, the Big Guy is only a third of the way
finished, has two prequels released now and will have at least one more
before I can release any of the main story... I suppose, adding up what I
have written and the prequels, its ALMOST as long... but, then again, its
unfinished, like I said)

This fic changed dramatically from the way I had it planned. For their
encouragement and for (more than a line or two) of comments or criticism, I
would like to thank Harper, Lord Archive, The RAMS (as soon as I was able
to figure out how to send him missing parts...), and Wright, all of whom
pointed out a thing or two (that I was doing right or wrong) or made a
suggestion (if you don't like Akari winning the match, don't blame me! ;-)
which helped me with this fanfic (and, in the process, made it much longer
than I had, in my wildest imaginings, could possibly have guessed it to end
up). All of them and the kind people at the FFML deserve lots of thanks
for their help with fanfic writers everywhere.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this. I think I'll take about a week off of
writing (and get re-aquainted with my girlfriend, who, halfway through this
thing, tried to get me to work harder on it by telling me that we weren't
going out until I had it finished. And then, of course, decided to entice
me in so many ways... well, we won't get into that) though I did promise to
do some pre-reading and such for some people, and I will take care of that
promptly. In the meantime, enjoy, and if you have any other comments or
criticism, send them in (please!)

-------------------------------------------------------- -------------------
desaix@sysnet.net
fanfic section and major revisions coming soon (hopefully) at
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872