Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ —¤: Boy meets dad :¤— ❯ The chicken, the egg, birds and bees... ( Chapter 20 )

 

……

 

 

- CHAPTER 20 -

 

Even though their life in the mountains were boring compared to their life in the hustle and bustle of Kyoto, father and son could never be as content as they were right now.

 

Their days were mostly spent training, making sure their garden was free of pests and leisure. They talked about the war from time to time, each wondering to the other if they were going to be called back and when they were going to be called back.

 

Kenji didn't really know much about this part of his father's past, so everything was new to him as well. Sometimes, he even found himself wishing that they weren't going to be called back to Kyoto. A foolish dream, he knew, because Kenshin would be playing an important role in the war, but he still dared to dream if not for him then for his father. During the days spent with the young hitokiri, he gained a new perception of him. A newfound respect for his conviction and beliefs that allowed him to endure the trials of the horrific job that was entrusted to him, the Guardian of Chaos.

 

He did what he could to make his father feel as normal as possible. Did what he could to bring a little joy into his father's life, how small it may seem. It's the little things that count afterall. It may seem a bit unorthodox at times, but he thought it was working.

 

“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”

 

The Battoussai's reaction to the unexpected question was a mere raising of his brow.

 

“Well?” Kenji persisted, obviously waiting for Kenshin to answer his query.

 

The young hitokiri shrugged indifferently. “The egg?”

 

“Nande? Why do you say that the egg came first?”

 

“Because the chicken hatches from the egg, so if there is no egg, then there won't be a chicken?” The Battoussai briefly wondered why Kenji asked such a question but the fact that the boy was Kenji was an explanation unto itself. He was sort of proud of his explanation too. It made perfect sense to him and he almost smiled.

 

“But if the egg came first and the chicken has to hatch from it, the egg wouldn't hatch now, would it?”

 

Now he was perplexed. “Why not?”

 

“Because the chicken has to sit on the egg in order for it to hatch, and if the egg came first, then there won't be a chicken to incubate the egg, causing it to hatch.”

 

He had a good point, Kenshin admitted to himself. “Errr… so I guess the chicken came first then?”

 

“How come?”

 

Kenshin sweatdropped as he looked at his son. “You just told me why.”

 

“But where did the chicken come from?”

 

“The egg?”

 

“So are you saying that the egg came first then?”

 

“I… guess…” He really didn't know why they were having this conversation, or why he was even participating in it. What did it matter if the chicken or the egg came first?

 

“But you just said that the chicken came first!” They were going around in circles. His son had a valid argument as well, but he wasn't about to admit it. He was getting confused by it all.

 

He looked at Kenji through narrowed eyes. “Because you told me that the egg wouldn't hatch if the chicken doesn't sit on it.”

 

“And then I asked you where the chicken came from.”

 

The Battoussai sighed and ran his right hand through his hair in an effort to make sense of the situation. “The egg of course.”

 

“So you're saying that the egg came first?”

 

The amusement in his son's voice made him want to scream. “Anou, is there any reason why you're asking me these questions, Kenji-chan?” He couldn't keep the exasperation out of his voice.

 

Kenji shook his head. “Nah, actually, I wanted to ask you if we can go to town and get some clothes today.” He picked at his gi and presented a tattered sleeve to Kenshin. “I'm starting to look like a beggar.”

 

“And the reason why you asked me which came first between the chicken and the egg is…?” He tried once more, trying to make sense of the kid.

 

“No reason, I was just curious is all.”

 

The Battoussai had to resist a strong urge to pound his head against something hard.

 

……

 

“You want the truth?”

 

“Hai.”

 

“You can't handle the truth, Kenshin!”

 

“Come on, be honest.”

 

Kenji sighed. His father can be so difficult sometimes. “It looks good on you, don't worry.” He assured for the tenth time in the past couple of minutes.

 

The Battoussai grit his teeth together in an effort not to shout at his son and fisted his hand so he wouldn't strangle the kid either. Must not kill son… must not kill son… must not kill son… he repeated over and over to himself.

 

The day started out like any normal day in the lives of the Himuras, but things started to turn downhill when they went to town. Kenji wanted to get more clothes, as if he wasn't satisfied enough that Kenshin had a pile of laundry to do everyday, citing that he didn't really have a lot of clothes with him, and they were starting to wear out.

 

He was right, too. His clothes were worn out. He explained to Kenshin that those were the same clothes that he had brought with him to Hiko-sama's house for his training and he didn't have much time for shopping or sightseeing when he was living with their Shishou.

 

Since he found it hard to say no to the kid, the Battoussai relented and accompanied him to town despite the kid's protests.

 

Kenji wasn't picky in choosing his garments and it didn't take them long to finish their business in town. However, something caught the kid's eye and whimsically bought it for his beloved father.

 

Kenshin was grateful for the kid's thoughtfulness, but he really shouldn't have. Really. It's not that he didn't appreciate the gift but…

 

“It's pink!” He exclaimed, looking a bit horrified in a pink gi that his son picked out for him earlier.

 

“No it's not, it's fuchsia.”

 

“It's pink.” He said again, picking at the offensive gi that adorned his body. He was not going to be caught dead wearing such a girly thing. The only reason why he was wearing the thing right now was because Kenji had insisted that he try it on, pleading with him with those pitiful eyes that he did - and immediately regretted.

 

It was bad enough that he wasn't a tall man and was often mistaken for a woman. Being mistaken for a girl because of one's size and looks was one thing. Wearing girly colors was another.

 

It was humiliating.

 

He didn't know why he let the kid talk him into even trying it on. If anybody ever saw him in pink, he was never going to live it down. He was going to be a laughingstock! “Real men don't wear pink,” he muttered.

 

“Only true men can pull off wearing pink,” Kenji countered. “Besides, it looks good on you -“

 

The Battoussai clutched a sleeve of the pink gi as he lifted his arm and made to take it off. “No it doesn't and you can't pay me to wear pink. I'd rather go naked!”

 

Kenji laughed. “I'm sure you'll change your mind in the future, Kenshin.” His eyes twinkled in amusement. “You don't have to wear it now. Just tuck it away for future use.” His father didn't seem too happy with the suggestion. “It's my gift to you, you don't intend to hurt my feelings by throwing it away, do you?”

 

He tried not to grimace as he found himself caving in again. “Arigatou for the gift, Kenji-chan.” He tried to keep his voice neutral and tried to sound thankful. “I really do appreciate it.” He choked out reluctantly. He didn't want to hurt his son's feelings. And besides, Kenji was right. It was fuchsia, not pink, he convinced himself. Perhaps, he continued to reason with himself, he could wear it someday, in the future if he doesn't have any other options left at all. Like if, for some reason, he became penniless and could no longer afford to buy clothes or if he had nothing else to wear or people stopped making clothes. There was absolutely no way in the fires of hell that he was going to be caught dead wearing that thing.

 

The Battoussai felt immensely better once he took the offensive garment off, and he tucked it at the bottom part of his clothes pile, away from prying eyes lest they have some visitors and spy a pink garment in his wardrobe. He shuddered once more as he put his normal non-girly colored gi back on.

 

“I don't know why you're so concerned about what you look in it or not anyway,” the son remarked to the father. “It's not like you want to impress the ladies or anything…” He trailed off and looked at his father suspiciously. “That's not what you want to do, is it? Do you want to impress some girl aside from my mother?” His voice had taken on an accusatory tone by the time he finished his sentence, causing his father to shake his head in denial.

 

“No, no, that's not it at all.” Kenshin continued to shake his head as he waved his arms in a pacifying manner. “If I wear that pink ensemble anyway, I don't think you'll ever be born, I don't know how your mother would like a man who wears pink,” he spit the last word out like it was venom.

 

Kenji laughed at him. “Believe it or not, you wear pink when she met you.” The Battoussai didn't believe a single word of it and he raised his brow in question. “I swear!” he reiterated. “Come on, am I not proof enough that the ladies… or at least one of them will fall prey to your good-looks and charm in the future?” He teased. When his father remained silent, he continued, “Just trust your instincts and everything else will fall into place. I do, however,” he looked at his father sternly, “advice you not to dally with other women.”

 

Kenshin looked at his son cluelessly. Why would he want to dally with other women when he knows for sure that one special woman will be waiting for him in Tokyo?

 

“Stay away from Teahouses and geishas, do you hear me?” Kenshin nodded at his son's serious look. “You're better off holding out until you're married. You um… do know how it works, don't you, Kenshin?” Purple eyes watched a baffled face closely.

 

“Know what works?” he looked utterly bewildered.

 

Kenji coughed to cover his embarrassment and slight amusement. He didn't think he'd be the one to give his father of all people, `the talk', but he guessed that he was probably the most qualified and the only person up for the job. Kenshin wasn't going to be going back to Hiko-sama in the near future, nor was he going to get married anytime soon from the looks of it… Suddenly feeling a strong sense of self-preservation, thinking that if his father bundled any intimate relations with his mother (just the mere thought of it sent the hairs on the back of his neck to rise), would therefore prevent his birth, he made a firm decision.

 

Kenji cleared his throat. “Girls, Kenshin, are like birds.” He decided to give the younger redhead examples to spare them the embarrassment of the technicalities. He figured that his father would be able to figure out the rest by himself. He just needed to guide him in the right direction was all. “And the guys,” he continued, “are like bees. When you find a girl that you like, preferably my mother and my mother alone,” he said forbiddingly, “you will want to sting. It's okay to sting, but only after you're married, you got that?”

 

Kenshin flushed in embarrassment, wishing he could crawl under a rock and die. His son was giving him the talk which, in his opinion, he should be giving Kenji in the future, and not the other way around as what the case was right now. Nothing can be more embarrassing than this. He had truly hit rock bottom.

 

“There comes a time Kenshin,” Kenji looked knowingly at his father through hooded eyelids, “when you're going to want to sting.” He coughed some more to cover up the awkwardness of the situation, and seemed to gain a bit more confidence as he continued a bit more enthusiastically. “Usually, you have to watch out for the daddy birds, because they don't want their daughter birds to be stung until the right time comes, but in your case, I don't think that'll matter much.”

 

The Battoussai was too disconcerted to do more than give his son a small, stiff nod.

 

Kenji spent several minutes explaining the facts of life to his father, quite proud of the euphemisms he employed to get his point across.

 

Kenshin was thinking to himself that he was never going to recover from the shock and embarrassment of it all. `The talk' would probably give him more emotional scars than from the fact that he was a man-slayer.

 

“Do you have any questions?” He looked quite pleased with himself. He felt like he actually accomplished something, for the first time ever since he was stuck in this era.

 

“Well,” Kenshin cleared his throat this time, “I do have one question.”

 

“Go on, feel free to ask me anything.”

 

“Anything?”

 

He nodded. “Anything.” He blocked out images of his outousan and okaasan throughout their discussion from his mind, replacing them with images of birds and bees instead. It was the only way he could keep his sanity intact.

 

The Battoussai didn't even crack a small smile. “If girls are birds and guys are bees, how come there's a daddy bird?”

 

……

 

Yay! I was able to finish that while watching McGyver. :oP Please don't forget to review! The reviews are the only things that make me update. ^_^