Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Insecurity ❯ Insecurity ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

 

Summary: Because Kenshin isn't the only one who has burdens to bear. [Kaoru POV]

 

Insecurity

 

Hey. I'm Kaoru - Kamiya Kaoru. But you can call me whatever you want, as long as it's not that. You aren't allowed to call me Kaoru. And don't you even dream of adding that “dono” to the end. Other than that, call me whatever you want. Girl, wench, child… little purple devil, for all I care. Because my name does not define me. Names are unimportant.

 

Except for his. Himura Kenshin. BattÅsai. The hitokiri, man-slayer, the gold-eyed devil, the master of sword drawing. He is all of those things. And so much more.

 

He is friend and enemy, protector and lover. He is fire and ice, a god in the form of man. He is everything and nothing. The air I breathe, the food I eat.

 

And what am I? What do I have to compare with such riches? What need could he have a mere girl, who fights, but will not kill?

 

Yet I need him. Without him, I am cold and lonely, starving and suffocating, small and alone.

 

With him I have life, and warmth. With him I am full, brimming.

 

But without me he is still BattÅsai. He is still himself. Without me, he can be his own flame, food, water, air. He does not need me.

 

But I need him.

 

And I never told him.

 

And now he's gone, and my fire has died, and the water dried up, and…

 

And I am afraid, and small, and alone.

 

Without me friend, my protector, my lover… And I have not the strength to carry on. He left, and now I sit here alone, in this room that is now a prison.

 

And I know I'm not good enough for him.

 

But maybe… Maybe he'll come back anyway.

 

And the last ray of the drowning sun illuminates the tear that slides down my cheek.

 

Maybe, even though I'm not good enough, maybe, even though I'm not strong enough, maybe…

 

 

RoS: Well, I've been trying to write for different fandoms - Rurouni Kenshin is one of my small loves. But school has started, and I'm a bit busy. But I pumped out this and a Chrno Crusade ficlet during study hall today.

 

I've also been trying to write something a bit darker, but so far all I've gotten is angst. Sorry!