Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Things You Cannot Repent For ❯ a nameless fear ( Chapter 1 )

A/n: okie dokie let's just pretend kenshin killed for no apparent reason and most of the people in this story are made up so don't get all snippy and stuff, got it homes? Well this was posted under another name ya know KuramaHasPrettyEyes but I changed my name to my nickname Amerowolf so I'm still the same person.

Reviews are appreciated………got it

A nameless fear know only as death

"Kenshin…………… battousai." those words whipped though the air as they have for many years. Kenshin knew only he could hear them so many voices he had heard say them. Those words had been many of peoples last.

"Stop" kenshin thought

"Stop it"

"I have atoned for my sins leave me be you restless devils" the voices never stopped. He knew they never would. The voices had started after he became a rorouni they were quiet at first then in the latter years they grew almost to a roar. Blood would always stain his hands even if it didn't show and dowse is soul until he died making them never stop.

"Daddy! Daddy? What's wrong?" his son Kenji said talking to his father whilst brushing the cherry blossoms out of his red hair.

"Nothing" kenshin said plastering a smile on his face. "Did you want something?"

"Hai, Daddy my ball it went into that house" Kenji said pointing at a house that truly modeled the old Japanese architecture he used to know.

"Go I'll go get it. You go help your mother with dinner so we can eat soon." kenshin said walking to the house. "Oh and don't pick at anything or she'll have your head" he yelled after his son making him giggle as he hopped through the door.

"Ohh your no fun" his son said as his head poked out the door once more.

"This…house looks very old uh problely built in the edo period." Kenshin thought to himself. "Great" kenshin thought to himself.

Something about this house was weird to kenshin never the less. It was almost pulling him to it. He shrugged it off though as just a hallucination of the sticky humidity that was strange for Japan even in the summer. The words in his head grew stronger and the voices grew too many in his mind he mentally fought a war with the voices. He stepped into the hallway the house was decorated modernly but it was bright. A blinding light flashed before his eyes stinging his retinas. The hallway came back but it was different instead of dark and dusty it was dimly lit and the colors could be made out more easily. There were tan walls with red siding on them with many bamboo and rice paper doors. For a moment kenshin didn't think he was in the same house

"Come kenshin you know where to go I know you do" kenshin heard in his head.

"W-who are you?" kenshin said out loud

"When you find me you will find out. IF you find me that is, Hitoriki Battousai legendary manslayer." The voice said in a bemused voice

"Let the game begin" growing more excited with every word until that cold voice was almost laughing as he left the recesses of his mind empty and silent for the first time in years.

Kenshin didn't recognize this house but he felt something guiding him through the endless halls until he ended up at a door. Kenshin reached out his hand to open the door ever so cautiously. He opened it and found stairs, long narrow stairs.

"That was anti climatic" kenshin scoffed

"You dare mock me, you're foolish," the voice said with his voice dripping with distain.

He walked down into a basement where water dripped down from rusty pipes and beds lined the wall.

"You remember don't you've seen this before" the dark cold voice spoke

"Or maybe I should make it a little more recognizable to you battousai" the room turned blurred and reappeared in a most ghastly state. The clean linen beds the once lined the walls were soiled with blood with bodies scattered on them in random ways. The men were screaming, and writhing in pain as the doctors tending to them but the rank smell of death intoxicated his senses.

"Now kenshin watch your past though my eyes" the voice said.

The men held their wounds and screamed of the horrors of what they saw. Kenshin listened to the doctors speak

"Another worthless battle fought for another worthless shogun, some of these samurais are no more than 10 years old. I fear I won't see the day when a child will never have to pick up a sword." An old doctor with specks of blood on his face said. Suddenly screams filled the night air outside.

"What was that?" a doctor stated in a baffled manner.

"Perhaps another battle has started" another doctor retorted.

"No those are screams of fear, not honor." The doctor said solmnly

There came a whoosh through the air as dagger pierced the doctor throat making them drop to his knees dead. A man stood in the doorway the room went quiet except for a few select moans. The man had bushy long red hair tied back in a very loose ponytail by red cloth. He was wearing a blue hakurama stained with blood spots. His face smeared with blood. blood specked a scar that resembled an cross on the right side of his face. His eyes burned with rage and a desire to kill like lavender flames licking his pupils. His thumb flicked his sword from its sheath and he smiled as he drew it out in all its shiny metallic glory. The men reached for any weapon in sight (Kamas, swords, syringes, sticks, ect) and attacked others tried to run. But the man in quick motions made sushi out of anything that came near him or the door. His thirst was not happy until all lay dead on the floor.

"No this can't be it just can't" kenshin spoke as a split of pain shot through his head.

"Don't try to deny it, that is you and everyone knows it"

"Yes the men you slayed once lined these walls the ones that didn't die on the battle field that is. Lied here but could not let them live could you" said the voice breaking into hysterical laughter.

"I find nothing funny about this. Why do you laugh in such hysterics with such a atrocious scene before you?" kenshin questioned the voice through clenched teeth. He received no answer.

"Answer me you demon spawn" kenshin said feeling the anger rising within him making him feel that hate he had once had for the dead souls before him.

"No no no my little battousai, find me and I'll answer all your questions" the cold malicious voice answered his voice cleared of all the previous hysterics.

Kenshin gripped his face and fell down to his knees. He could see them, the men that lived laying on the beds dripping in blood and him…mangling them…thrusting his tanto into their stomachs………him licking the blood off his long knife.

"This was my past why are you doing this to me now" kenshin said getting up and screaming. He got no answer from the voice. Kenshin got up and ran to the nearest door he had to get away from the sight and the smell that once haunted his past. The inside was cold he could feel the floors coldness through his sandals. Kenshins eyes were pulled up from the floor and to the wall. A face appeared on it

"Am I supposed to be scared?"

"You should be for years you did my job for me and now I have come for you" the face said

"Who has come for me" kenshin said slightly unsheathing his sword with his thumb.

"Death nice to meet you congratulations you found me"

"But first do dare fight me? Tch. you can't not beat one that can only be seen in the ethereal world" the voice paused and kenshin pushed his sword back in its sheath.

"You are a dream then. Or a vengeful spirit" Kenshin said eyeing the wall and quietly letting out a sigh of relief.

"I suppose that would classify me in a way now go upstairs" death stated and disappeared into the walls.

Kenshin ran for the stairs past the blood stained beds that seemed to be moaning by themselves. The only thing kenshin could think about, as his heart raced is he had to get away was his family. He wanted to see them again, but he felt ashamed. He didn't want his family to see him in such a fragile state. He didn't deserve to have such a life with all the blood that stains his hands. The voices grew almost deafen as they came back making kenshin drop to the floor. Suddenly the voiced stopped he looked up.

"See that room that was little kenshiro's room you know him he tried to protect his father and mother and you imbedded a dagger into his skull." The voice said showing kenshin the image on a little boy with brown hair and his happy family members watching his father go off to war in the doorway over and over again. Then it switched to the father standing in front of the family and being knock down. Kenshiro picked up the sword and scratched his leg kenshin threw his tanto at his head. He didn't miss the small boy was sent hurling backwards and stuck standing with the tanto stuck in his head and the wall. His mother ran up to his body sobbing hysterically. Kenshin plunged his sword into the boy's fathers neck and lifted him up so that the sword ripped through his skull. The wife of the man grabbed his sword and took a sloppy stance in front of kenshin. Tears still poured from her eyes as she took sloppy swings at him. Kenshin counterattacked embedding his sword into her chest. Kenshin forcefully twisted his sword and pulled it out.

"Oh and you remember this family they helped wounded soldiers so you burned them alive" once again the image played over and over again. All the other doors started to swing open showing more gruesome images.

"Head cut off, poison darts in their temples, upward slash right through him, and the ever popularfast sword swipe that cut there body into three pieces." the voice said commenting on all the peoples deaths with the amusement in his voice noticeable.

"oh and now let's not forget……Tomoe, I think we should relive this one." Death said

kenshin shook his head. He didn't want to see this again. He had seen it over and over again. His first wife Tomoe being impaled by his own sword was a terrible sight to have in your mind. Kenshins mind and body suddenly froze. Suddenly he was in a snowy forest.

"no. not again." Kenshin yelled through the forest. He saw a clearing up ahead. Behind a tree he could see little enishi watching a younger version of kenshin being badly beaten. Kenshin took the hits one after another. His face blank he could still remember what was going through his mind then. The memories that him and tomoe had shared, how they first met and how they ended up living together pretending to be married. He could still feel the emotions making his body quiver. How he had been angy at himself for loving someone who hated him so. He didn't deserve her. He was the one that killed her fiancé. No one who has killed so many deserved to be as happy as he was with her. He had hated himself so much. At that time he thought that every hit he took was a way of punishing himself. He was told to kill tomoe because she was a spy as he walked and fought his soul and heart were also raging a wicked battle. Obey orders or live with the one you love. Kenshin watched as the battle waged on. He saw tomoe run out of the shack to him. She ran infront of his attacked and tried to disarm him of his knife. Young kenshin to caught up in his thoughts to be aware of this raised his sword and sliced through both of them. Kenshin watched his younder self cry over her body. He watched young enishi writh in sadness and anger. How he must of felt watching his sister die and not being able to go to her body.

"she forgave me for killing her" kenshin said quietly with his head bowed.

"Stop I don't kill anymore I help people now"

"YOU'VE KILLED MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER HELP" the voices screamed in his head making him drop to the floor with his hands on his ears, shaking his head,

"Nothing you can do can ever make the innocent you've killed happy they will haunt you until your death, " the ethereal spirit said

"That would make them no better than me please I am sorry for your deaths LEAVE ME BE I did what I had to survive you. And I know that I don't deserve to be happy. There will always be a part of me that with always be sad and mourn for all your deaths. However one cannot mourn all the time." through his clenched eyelids kenshin saw another flash of light he was back in the house with Kenji's little green ball in his hand. Kenshin was curled up in the fetal position chanting

"I have repented"

"I have atoned"

"I have repented"

"I have atoned."

Sometime later kenshin breathed heavily and got up off the floor no voices were heard then or ever again in his head.