Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Unlost ❯ Cheat ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Unlost, a fanfic series by Raberba girl
Cheat (prompt 9, table one)

Summary:  During a festival in Ponyville, Tiger Eyes challenges Swordheart to a competition.  This might be just what White Plum needs for her next report on the power of friendship.  ...Or not.

A/N:  Um...this is what I get for trying to brainstorm RuroKen stories so soon after watching episode 13 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. XD  This story will probably make more sense if you have even a passing familiarity with that show.  Which I'm not really a fan of, btw, it's just super-fun to reference.


Everyone's hard work had definitely paid off - the town now looked beautiful in honor of the festival.

White Plum moved at a serene pace through the decked-out streets, making observations with quiet admiration.  'Fox Ears did a wonderful job on the clinic, very fitting.  Evil Fishbones's place is less of a mess than usual, I guess he really did attempt to clean up.  The dôjô looks nicer than usual, too; I imagine Strongsilk really put Swordheart to work.  Ah, that's quite a lovely idea for the restaurant, I bet Butterfly Sweet suggested that.'  A quiet chuckle.  'Not that she'll ever willingly admit it.'

Then she sighed a little.  It might be a holiday for most of Ponyville, but she herself had work to do.  'I still need a topic for my next report.  You would think a festival would be a good setting....  There are so many friends out enjoying the holiday together, surely someone should be learning a valuable life lesson today.'

The harsh tone of her brother's voice up ahead immediately caught her attention.  "...and that's why you're a total loser, hah!"

Swordheart's reply was characteristically mild.  "This one is stallion enough to not feel at all inadequate due to the color of his hide.  He does, however, readily admit that his natural colors are not the most visually appealing."

"And we're not pink, anyway," Li'l Swordpath piped up indignantly.  "We're magenta, stupid."

White Plum trotted into the square, where Tiger Eyes was belligerently facing down the two magenta pegasi by a nervous-looking shop owner's tangerine stall.  White Plum didn't blame the tangerine-seller for looking nervous - her brother and his archrival were infamous for the destruction that usually followed in the wake of their clashes.

"Tiger Eyes," she called firmly.

He whirled to face her, eyes suddenly alight.  "Neesan!"

"Tiger Eyes," she repeated as she trotted up, "if you ruin the festival for everypony today, I will not be happy with you."

He seemed to visibly wilt.  "Aw, Sis...."

"Hey!" Li'l Swordpath yelled, "Go away!  I don't wanna be helped by a mare!"

"Swordpath," his father warned, and Tiger Eyes's namesake blazed.

"You got a problem with my sister, runt?"

Li'l Swordpath reared up with a wordless shriek of rage.  In a resigned, practiced sort of way, White Plum and Swordheart got in front of their respective relatives and started herding them away from each other.

"This isn't over yet, Swordlosers!" Tiger Eyes yelled.  "Sis, get out of the way!"

"Come, let's go find you some ice cream," she said soothingly.

"No!  I wanna beat them!"

"Dad!" Li'l Swordpath was yelling on the other side, "Cut it out, wait, wait, ARGH YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!"

Swordheart paused.  "What is it you would like to tell this one, Swordpath?" he asked patiently.

"Let's have, like, a contest!  So we can beat Tiger Poop without getting kicked out of the festival or making Mom mad."

"Hm," Swordheart said thoughtfully.

"I'll take you down," Tiger Eyes declared with glee.

"What sort of contest?" White Plum inquired.

"Uh...I dunno.  Something.  Doesn't matter what it is, we'll beat him!"

"That's my line," Tiger Eyes snarled.

"This one will be the one competing, that he will," Swordheart corrected firmly, giving his son a look.


"This one will not pit his unready colt against a full-grown stallion."

"I can take him!"

"Li'l Swordpath," White Plum said sweetly, "if you compete against my brother, you won't be able to do the commentary."

He paused.  "Oh yeah.  Mayor Dragonmaster said I could do it this year."  Then he frowned.  "And don't call me that!  I'm not little!"

When word spread that Swordheart and Tiger Eyes were about to go head-to-head in an allegedly non-destructive competition, half the town gathered to watch with great interest.

"Welcome," Li'l Swordpath boomed from above, circling in the air as he spoke into a megaphone.  "Welcome, all fillies and gentlecolts, to watch my dad actually being cool long enough to pwn Tiger Poop again!"  Then he winced, practically sensing the mayor's warning glare.

"If you're incapable of being objective," Mayor Dragonmaster rumbled, "you can forfeit your post right now and save me the trouble of having to fire you."

"I can do it right," Li'l Swordpath said defensively.  He took a deep breath.  "Fillies and gentlecolts!  Welcome to the Iron Pony Competition, where you shall witness pwnage beyond your wildest imaginations!"


"You said I had to be objective," Li'l Swordpath argued.  "You never said I couldn't use slang."

"Whatever.  It's not like I actually care about this pointless contest," Mayor Dragonmaster grumbled, heading back toward the saké trough.

"All right, then!  Our contestants are Swordheart, who's not gonna be a wimp today, because you're my dad and everyone's watching so you'd better not embarrass me, and it's supposed to be a bloodless competition so you're out of whiny excuses, hah.  And second, we've got Tiger...Eyes.  Not Poop, because I'm objective.  First round, barrel weaving!"

As the contests went on, Swordheart and Tiger Eyes seemed to be fairly evenly matched, playing to their strengths.  The magenta pegasus was light and swift, and tended to do better at the tasks that involved racing.  He was also careful to keep his wings curbed so as to not have an unfair advantage over the other pony.  Tiger Eyes, though nowhere near the mass of somepony like Mayor Dragonmaster, was nevertheless more well-built than Swordheart, and tended to beat him at feats of strength.

Their scores were even when it came down to the last round, leaf sweeping.  "All right, fillies and gentlecolts, it all comes to a head right now!  In our final contest, Dad and The Other Guy will be getting a head start on the winter prep so that the rest of us won't have to work so hard after the festival!  Nice one, whoever planned this contest!"  The goal was to strip as many trees as possible of their autumn leaves so as to prepare for winter.

"I totally got this," Tiger Eyes declared, his eyes gleaming.

"We shall see, that we will," Swordheart said mildly.

"On your mark - get set - GO!"

The two ponies took off, racing through the trees and sending leaves cascading to the ground in their wake.  Oddly enough, though Swordheart had consistently showed an advantage over his rival in this area during the previous events, he now seemed to be dropping farther and farther behind.

"I told you I got this!" Tiger Eyes crowed triumphantly.  "Eat my dust, loser!"

He was not, however, so cocky by the time he reached the end.  Panting and exhausted, Tiger Eyes staggered toward the finish line, and was completely outraged when Swordheart came cantering past him, claiming victory with infuriating ease.


"This one paced himself, that he did," Swordheart explained as his wife set a medal around his neck.

"CHEATER!  ROTTEN CHEATER!"  Exhaustion forgotten, Tiger Eyes flung himself at Swordheart, and the two were suddenly wreaking just as much havoc on the contest grounds as they usually did in their town-destroying fights.

White Plum sighed and began to mentally draft a letter.  "Dear Princess Katsura:  Today, I learned that no matter how friendly the competition and how good a sport the rival may be, my brother will still fly off the handle and cause trouble.  The friendship between myself and my brother is so great that I will not beat him to death with a frying pan after he loses to Swordheart, no matter how much he deserves it."  Then she chuckled ruefully.  "I can't actually send a letter like that, can I.  Oh well."  She trotted over to try to help the other ponies break up the fight, and resolved to look for a better friendship lesson elsewhere.


Cast list:

White Plum - Tomoe
Fox Ears - Megumi
Evil Fishbones - Sanosuke
Strongsilk - Kaoru
Swordheart - Kenshin
Butterfly Sweet - Tsubame
Li'l Swordpath - Kenji
Tiger Eyes - Enishi
Mayor Dragonmaster - Hiko

Complete:  6/100