Saber Marionette Fan Fiction ❯ Terra II's Weakest Link ❯ Round One for Soemon ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

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A/N:
Konnyanachiwa, minna!!! Miss me? I decided on a comedy. Why? Because I think that the Saber Marionette section kinda needs a parody. After that "Things the Cast Would Never Do/Say" bit, I figured, why not add some of the other anime fanfic traditions? Why am I rambling so much..???

Let's play the Weakest Link! (In dollars.. I only deal with dollars.. ^.^''')

I don't own Weakest Link, Saber Marionette, the characters, the music™, Seikai no Monshou, the stage, Terra II, and any other anime-related thing that may pop up. I also am not the one responsible for the algebraic formula for slope, or the recipe for sukiyaki. But I must say this: That stuff is GOOD! ^-^;;
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**lights and cool music™**
**the contestants**
[camera focuses on Lime]

Lime: Yoo-hoo!! Boku Laimu!! I'm Lime!!! Otaru, daisuki!!!!
{subtitles: Otaru, I love you!}

{Otaru, in a contestant space, blushes}
[camera moves to Cherry]

Cherry: My name is Cherry and I'm from Jyaponess. Otaru-sama, I love you!!

{Otaru blushes}
[camera moves to Bloodberry]
Bloodberry: I'm Bloodberry. And I'm SO gonna win this thing! Otaru, love ya!

{Otaru blushes}
[camera moves to Otaru]

Otaru: Mamiya Otaru of Japoness. Hi, minna-san!

[camera moves to Faust]

Faust: Gelthart Faust. Gartlant. No comment.

[camera moves to Tiger]

Tiger: Watashi wa Tigeru. Gartoranto kara. Watashi wa UIN suru!!
{Subtitles: I'm Tiger. I'm from Gartlant. I will win!!"}

[camera moves to Luchs]

Luchs: Luchs, Gartlant. And, of course, I'll win.

[camera moves to Panther]

Panther: I'm Panther of Gartlant, and NO! Brains is NOT everything! You HEAR ME, Cherry?!!

**more music™ and lights**
{standing in the host's spot is Soemon, the sword master}

Soemon: You all know the rules. I remember every PAINSTAKING moment I had to spend teaching them to you.

Panther: Well, maybe if you hadn't used SWORDS we would've UNDERSTOOD quicker, Genius!

Soemon: *closes eyes in his mean style* I won't allow you to disrupt the game. *opens eyes in a semi-glare* So let's play the Weakest Link. Sta-

**music™ interrupts him**

Soemon: *glares; clears throat* Start the clock. [it starts] *faces Lime* Lime, what's another name for Gartlant?

Lime: Hmm... *takes a few seconds* Uhm... German.....ia!! Yeah!!! Germania!!

Soemon: Right. *faces Cherry* Cherry, what are the ingredients for suk-

Cherry: Beef, vegetables, mushrooms, and noodles.

Soemon: ...Correct. *faces Bloodberry* What is another name for the color red?

Bloodberry: THAT's the question?! HA! Crimson.

Soemon: *sweatdrops* Correct. *{oh, you get the idea}* Otaru, what is the date of the anual Marionette Contest?

Otaru: New Year's Day!

Soemon: Yes. Faust, what is the name of the big Abh ship in the series known as Seikai no Monshou?

Faust: This is a trick question that has nothing to do with our Alternate Universe world.

Soemon: Wrong. It's called "Gosroth".

Faust: THAT'S STUPID! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!

Soemon: Easy. This is an anime fic, and the author loves Seikai no Monshou/Crest of the Stars! (A/N: Sorry for the promo. ^.^''') Now, Tiger, what color is a lorelei petal?

Tiger: Akai.
{subtitles: red}

Soemon: ..We're accepting it. Luchs, what is the formula for finding the slope of-

Luchs: y2 minus y1 divided by x2 minus x1. (A/N: I needed to get that out of my system)

Soemon: -_-;; Right. Panther, what is 1+2.

Panther: *glaring* An insult to the intelligence of all the anime universes combined.

Soemon: Incorrect. The answer is 3. *mumbles* Though I DO agree. *turns to Lime again* Lime, what is the name which Otaru's neighbor was "proudly born with"?

Lime: Anou... hmm.. *takes a few seconds*
{subtitles: um...}

Bloodberry: *glaring* HURRY UP! You're wasting valuable time!

Lime: MATTE! *back to thinking* Mmm... anou.. Hana-chan!!!
{subtitles: WAIT! ..um... Hana!}(A/N: That's right, minna-san!! It ISN'T "Hannie"!!!!)

Hanagata: *from somewhere* NANI?!!! How DARE she insult me so?!!!

Soemon: -.-; *mumbles* This is so much fun. *to Lime* I'm sorry. That's wrong. Well, it's right, but it's wrong. *smirks slightly* Cherry. What is pi?

Cherry: A pa-wait. Can you spell it for me?

Soemon: *grins and shakes head*

Cherry: *fumes* That's_not_FAIR!!!!!! *lets out steam from vents* PIE is a pastry, and PI is 3.14 and has no end!

Soemon: I'm accepting the first answer. And it's wrong.

Cherry: *fumes; through clentched teeth* Don't make me get my rice tub...

Soemon: Bloodberry. Why is Tiger only speaking Japanese?

Bloodberry: *blinks; looks at Tiger*

Tiger: *smirking; taunts* Watashi wa Tigeru.
{subtitles: I'm/I am Tiger.}

Bloodberry: *takes this into thought* Because it's our original language!!!

Soemon: *smirking* I'm sorry. We've run out of time. However, you were correct. BUT, it will not be accepted.

Bloodberry: WHAT?!! *glares; makes a fist* You play dirty.

Soemon: Oh boo-hoo. Insuboardinate(sp????) marionette.

All contestants: *glaring at Soemon*

Soemon: *smirks and tries to suppress laughter* In this round.. *laughter creeps up on him* yo..u.. mana...ged.. *laughing* managed to bank.. *bursts out laughing* NOTHING!!!

All: *gag; blink blink*

Panther and Bloodberry: *in unison* What to you mean NOTHING?!!!

Soemon: *stops laughing and becomes very serious* That's right. You all forgot the banking rule. This is more based on points, however. Remember??

Otaru: That's right. We score money and points at the same time. And whoever wins gets the money and the choice of prize because of the points.

Soemon: *scoffs* Someone remembered..

Bloodberry: Well of COURSE! It's Otaru! When I win, Otaru and I are going on a trip faaaar away from Japoness.. namely Lime and Cherry... and His Hana-ness.

Soemon: *clears throat loudly* Now, vote off the "weakest link". You do remember how that is done, right?

All: *glaring; silent*

Soemon: Then VOTE!

**all vote**

Soemon: Time is up. Now, let's see those votes. *looks at the monitor across the stage and reads* Who will be joining Yumeji in elementary school? *stops reading* Let's find out! *mumbles* C H E E S Y.

Lime: Fausto.

Cherry: Luchs.

Bloodberry: Lime.

Otaru: Faust.

Faust: Mamiya.

Tiger: Mamiya.

Luchs: Cherry.

Panther: Bloodberry.

Soemon: Faust and Otaru are tied. Well, the strongest link gets to cast the final vote. The strongest link for this round is-*shocked after reading the name* Bloodberry?!!

Bloodberry: HA! *smirks; to Faust* Buh-bye.

Faust: *glares; fumes*

Soemon: Sayounara, Fausto.
{(like you really need subtitles for this one)}

Faust: *fumes offstage*

Soemon: *faces camera; reading* Which one of these seven players will win the points/prize/money? Find out when we return to the Weakest Link.

**music™ and lights**

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That wasn't too creepy, was it? ^.^ All righty now, people! I'm letting all of YOU - that's right, YOU - vote off the next contestant! From there on I'll write it up. Hey, I happen to LIKE reader-author inter-action! ^.~

And remember, folks:
Sukiyaki is GOOD