Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Soldier's Duty ❯ Chapter 19

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Chapter 19, A Soldier's Duty
4th Labor


After seeing the book blurring and trying to mutate, Grey wasn't sure what to expect. This hadn't made the list. Hotaru had been in "Hansel & Gretel" with Misato Katsuragi, Ritsuko Akagi, and Maya Ibuki. Maya Tono had been by herself in some bizarre "Treasure Island" variant. Rei had been in "Fist Of The Northstar". Chibiusa had been in Willie Wonka's factory, while Usagi had recruited seven dwarves from "Snow White".

The finger-cymbals set up a steady rhythm among the whirling silks as she danced. The bells on the anklets chimed, and additional music played from from an identical twin in similar garb to the dancer.

Grey, having been practically thrown onto the seating cushions at the back of the tent, stared. He *was* a fifteen year old boy, and not sufficiently worldly or experienced that he could take this completely in stride. Though embarassment was allowing him some distance. Especially as he was currently trying to hide his privates with one of those cushions, as his clothing had not magically reappeared upon entering this dreamscape.

The music continued to swirl faster, as did the belly dancer. She gyrated, leapt, posed, and moved in such a way that if Grey was NOT feeling nearly so self conscious, he would have experienced a nosebleed and fainted.

Finally the music swirled slower, and the Dancer ended her dance by posing over Grey like a cresting wave. The music ended, and the dancer leaned close, causing Grey to fall backwards in order to not be a naked boy draped in nearly naked girl.

She rested her fingertips, feather light, upon his shoulders. Then the wave receded, keeping the light touch as her fingers traced down his body.

Finally grabbing the pillow and snatching it away.

Grey went into hormonal overload and had the required nosebleed and fainted, overwhelmed at last.

Phobos winced as she saw this. "Well darn. That wasn't what I intended at all."

Deimos sighed and put away her instrument. "Hardly how I wanted to celebrate getting a human shape again."

Phobos and Deimos exchanged a look. "Our luck sucks."

--------

Staring seemed appropriate.

Queen Serenity hadn't been quite sure what to expect. Being trapped in a dreamscape by someone else, she expected to run into something horrific. Perhaps something from one of those Clive Barker or Stephen King films. Like that first dreamscape, though for some reason all the details seemed fuzzy until she'd opened a portal and stepped through to what she'd *thought* was another section of the same virtual reality.

"Excuse me, would you happen to have any honey?"

Queen Serenity, the dignified matriarch of the Moon Kingdom, tried not to sweatdrop as she shook her head.

"Oh," said the short golden bear in the red t-shirt with an air of disappointment. "Well, it was too much to hope for. I haven't seen you around here before. Are you here for Mr Rabbit's tea party?"

The Queen reflected that she hadn't been to a tea party in quite some time. Partly because she simply didn't care for tea. Like Bennu, she held to the religious practices of the ancient Prophets.

Associating with fictional characters wasn't prohibited as far as she knew, so the Queen nodded. In order to get out of this dreamscape, she needed to find and fulfill whatever silly condition was required of "Yes, show me to this 'tea-party.'"

Winnie (sometimes called Pooh) led the Queen to the correct house, though what she heard on coming to the white picket fence was discouraging to say the least.

"There once was a queen named Serenity
to whom good sense was an enemy.
She shortened her skirt,
like a brazen old flirt,
then turned a father to enmity."

"That is *not* how it went," said Serenity, recognizing the limerick that Bennu had developed that had gotten him banned from court.

Queen Serenity looked over the fence. A large lioness. A batwinged redhaired girl. A male humanoid rabbit. Oddly enough, the girl with the batwings *felt* like someone from the Silver Millenium, but she was pretty sure she'd never met such a one.

-------

Hotaru spent a few moments staring. A four foot wide blueberry, being rolled up a ramp by seven dwarves, crying about how unfair all this was, and ending with a "Ryouga Hibiki, this is all your fault!"

While in the background a white teddy bear was lecturing the blueberry on the need to try and act with a bit of dignity.

Hotaru pursed her lips for a moment, then blinked. Nope, they were still there. "Okay, I think my Reality Check has just gotten an 'Insufficient Funds'." Hotaru spoke politely but it still carried.

The blueberry glared briefly at her, the latest in a long series of tormentors, before she was loaded into a large device by the aforementioned dwarves.

Usagi came running up, followed by Mamoru.

"Chibiusa, I can try using the Crystal on you."

"Mamaaaaa! I wanna go home!" Home was boring. Home was lonely. Home didn't have her getting turned into a big blueberry and then rolled around the yard by some dwarves so she could be put into an untested juicing machine.

"Chibiusa, be strong," advised Mamoru. After all, what *does* one say to your daughter in this sort of circumstance?

"We can still try the Juicer," suggested the lead dwarf.

"Try the Crystal! Momma! I don't wanna be squeezed!"

Hotaru shook her head. She'd try to be this poor unfortunate's friend, but what do you say to a four foot tall blueberry?

"Riceball, Tomoe-san?"

Hotaru blinked and realized that the drummer girl was offering her food. "Yes. Thank you. It's been a little while."

Tomo and Tomoe ate in companionable silence while Usagi turned Chibiusa back into a little girl.

"Still blue," noted Maya Tono.

Hotaru finished off the riceball and realized that she was still hungry. The witch hadn't fed them anything but slabs of stale gingerbread. Yech.

Maya offered her last riceball, immediately earning her a "friend status" token with Hotaru.

The two spent a few more moments of quiet watching the little blue girl sobbing and hugging Usagi, calling her "Momma" repeatedly.

"Tsukino-san is kind of young to have a daughter that age," offered Maya while Hotaru ate.

Hotaru finished licking grains of rice from her fingers before she answered. "Don't ask me, I don't know any of them either."

"Chiba-san must like 'em young," Maya speculated, subtracting Usagi's apparent age from her "daughter's" age and coming up with very young.

"Can't be that," Hotaru argued. "She wouldn't have even been through puberty yet."

Maya inclined her head, conceding the point. "Weird though."

"Not gonna argue," said Hotaru wearily. "I'd go home, but sempai could probably use someone to keep those pervert girls away from him."

Maya nodded and got a pair of pants from the bag she'd gotten the riceballs from.

Hotaru looked at a pair of biker's shorts and frowned. Obviously her new friend was a pervert. Well, at least she was a nice pervert.

"Uhm," came a hesitant voice.

Hotaru and Maya looked over to see her sempai, wearing a pair of Arabic-looking trousers and a sash, motioning to them. "Sempai?"

"Errr. i hesitate this. Help will i need. Obsidian trap is... very bad."

Looking at the book her sempai was indicating, Hotaru looked very nervous and couldn't help but agree.

-------

The group appeared, fading in so that they stood on a dirt path.

Where Misato Katsuragi had gotten an assault rifle, nobody really wanted to ask.

Rei had transformed to Sailor Mars and seemed to want to keep some distance between her and Grey. Getting *very* embarassed any time the two came physically close.

Hotaru had transformed back to Sailor Saturn and held her Silence Glaive ready.

Maya was nervous, hovering near her fiance's back, and trying to look in all directions at the same time. She held two wooden rods, and so could practice her martial art, but she'd *wanted* something more along the lines of what Misato had.

Usagi had come along mainly out of duty. After all, the Knight Of Fear was one of her subjects. However she was nearly as nervous as Maya, even if she *had* transformed to Sailor Moon prior to this little trip.

Two very short, slender, very leggy brunettes had been both delighted and disappointed on leaving their prison. Delighted that they were humanoid again and able to eat real food and engage in activities they had loved to do a lifetime ago. Disappointed in that they were just over two feet tall each. Which meant that they looked like faeries. The two had insisted they come along, and one was sitting on each of Grey's shoulders to "help him look for scaries."

Oddly enough, the only one to buy this was Grey himself.

Grey was glad that Phobos and Deimos were extremely light, but was having trouble getting the image of that dance out of his head. Only the knowledge of how nasty this situation was had kept him from getting a little freaked at having the twins remaining in close contact like this.

Mamoru had stayed with Chibiusa, proving that he *did* have his moments of wisdom. Usagi was still upset at him for rescuing Chibiusa first, after all.

"Awwwww cute!"

Everyone swore as Sailor Moon went rushing off to heal a wounded animal.

Grey quickly proved he still had a bit of the soldier Basalt in him. "Perimeter guard, everyone surround Usagi keep an eye on the person next to you and the jungle."

"Moon... Healing... Activation!" Usagi threw her attack, and the large beast began to slowly get itself up.

"Daughter, i really don't know how appropriate this is," said Grey, "but i don't think it is very wise at all."

"GRUNK!" The large beast butted its head lightly against the twin ponytailed girl.

"Waiiiii, I did it! I did it!" Sailor Moon jumped briefly up and down.

"I thought triceratops were supposed to be kinda... gray or something," offered Saturn. "Not beige."

"Hisssssss," said something as it began coming through the brush towards them, baring its teeth.

"SILENCE GLAIVE SURPRISE!"

"EAT HOT LEAD!"

"FIRE SOUL!"

Little smoking bits of poison spitting dinosaur rained briefly down.

"Eeeew," said Maya Tono. She really regretted coming along. She'd had a bad feeling about it just on seeing that this was the novel version of "Jurassic Park". If "Treasure Island" had been bad, how much worse could *that* be? Something the taiko drummer didn't even want to consider. She'd put on a brave face, that hadn't lasted long.

Grey had merely reached for a weapon that wasn't there.

Sailor Moon posed on top of the triceratops, demonstrating that the multi-ton herbivores were actually pretty laid back.

Saturn and Mars considered the moving patch of foliage to their North.

Misato hefted something in her hand, removed a pin and threw it. "There are few problems that cannot be resolved with a suitable application of violence."

"Isn't that supposed to be 'violence never solved anything'?" Maya asked with a wince as the grenade went off and a little geyser of reptillian parts was visible.

"That's a laugh," said Misato. "Gandhi's philosophies only work if the other side cares. Violence isn't always the cleanest solution, but it gets used because it is effective. Then it is the winners who write history."

Grey let out a deep breath. He'd have shrugged but he had two very short girls on his shoulders. "Let's keep moving. We don't want to get surrounded."

Tensions were running high as the group made their way past various broken and twisted fences. They got more nervous upon seeing some of the tags on the cages. Nobody could remember "Maiasaurus" being in the movie. An acid melted section of fence was likewise concerning. Deposits of some odd resinous compound caused enough rattled nerves that Sailor Mars flash-fried a squirrel.

The triceratops was following Sailor Moon around like a 15 ton puppy. Which considerably reduced their stealth factor. Then she got the idea of riding it, which at least cut down on the times it accidently knocked her over.

What everyone was concerned about were the poison spitters, the velociraptors, and...

"RRRRAAAAAA!" An allosaurus rushed forward, scenting prey.

"EEEEEEK!" Maya Tono, taiko drummer, attempted to hide in Grey's shirt.

"EEEEK!" "EEEEP!" Phobos and Deimos were successful in hiding in Grey's shirt.

"EEEP!" Grey wasn't reacting to the allosaurus so much as that he had one girl clamped on tight enough that he couldn't breathe, while two girls had just dived into his shirt.

"Yaaaah!" Misato started firing bursts, she was a little unnerved however and managed to miss the allosaurus. Not that a 7.62mm assault rifle had sufficient penetration for this job anyway.

"Burning... MANDALA!" Rei started firing bursts of her own.

Sailor Saturn started whipping her glaive around. "Silence Glaive Surprise!"

"GRONK!"

"WHoooaaaaaaa!"

Everyone looked from the obviously surprised allosaurus (whose head had survived and was still falling towards the ground) to where the triceratops was leaving at high speed from the battlesite. Charging, in fact, towards the *second* allosaurus at high speed.

Usagi, still on her triceratops' back, was not too enthused about this latest development.

---------

Queen Serenity had been ready for weird. After all, it was typical of dreamscapes such as this to have odd bits put in by the programmers, and sometimes from the dreamer herself without intending to.

So the humanoid rabbit, no doubt the "Mister Rabbit" referred to by the bear, was taken in stride. The large lion with the flaming tail tuft was likewise dismissed, other than to wonder how the beast drank tea.

The redhaired girl with the batwings was a little more odd.

"Oh, Serenity-sama! Good ta see ya! How's it going?"

That the redhaired batwinged girl KNEW her made it quite odd.

Pursing her lips, the Queen scanned briefly. The lion, the rabbit, and the bear were NOT members of her court. The redhead was... related to Basalt?

The Queen had dismissed her Consort, Basalt, decades before the Moon Kingdom had fought its final battle. Enough time for a wandering Knight to have fathered another child besides the Princess. The Queen's eyes narrowed and she frowned.

"Oh, you probably don't know anyone here," said the redhead with a giggle. "I'm Ranko, of course. This is Akane."

The lion ducked her head. "A Ka Ne."

"...and this is Mister Rabbit, and that's Winnie the Pooh of course. Oh and this is Totoro. Everyone, this is Queen Serenity. I was just telling you all about her." Ranko grinned at the Queen and winked. "So, Serenity-san, what brings you here?"

The Queen let a deep breath out, deciding to ignore the insult of being addressed so familiarly.

"So how's it going with my brother, anyway?" Ranko went briefly into mock-scold. "Or did you decide you wanted Bennu after all?"

Queen Serenity was about to say something impolite when the idea registered. Brother was obviously incorrect as she knew full well that Basalt had no sisters. Bennu was certainly attractive enough, powerful enough, and had a bit of a reputation as far as once he'd gotten the idea that something was important, he'd throw everything he had into the research and practice of that until he was a master. Speculation among the younger members of the Palace had (of course) suggested that when he became a husband...

Ranko wondered why Queen Serenity was blushing like that for a moment, then got a sly look.

Meanwhile, the Queen was still running through possibilities. She had to punish Basalt for his unfaithfulness, of course. That was such a given that she didn't even think about it except as a required goal. Why not turn to Bennu? She'd have to dismiss all those lovestruck young maidens, and do something about that disrespectful attitude. It would certainly make Basalt jealous as well.

The Queen of the Moon Kingdom nodded graciously to "Ranko" as she finally seated herself. "Yes. As you say. We have decided to accept Bennu as a Consort for a trial basis, at least."

---------

The intrepid adventurers (Grey Le Shard, Maya Tono, Phobos, Deimos, Misato Katsuragi, Sailor Mars, Sailor Saturn, Sailor Moon, and a triceratops) were not happy campers.

They were cut from numerous plant fronds, bitten by various overlarge insects (the sailorsuited ones particularly suffering from this problem due to the amount of flesh being shown), attacked by numerous carnivorous dinosaurs who apparently wanted a change of diet from eating the other dinosaurs, and various other causes.

Particularly bad on these other causes was Sailor Mars, who had discovered that rich volcanic earth + red high heels = a not particularly compatible mix. Hence her having to go back and pick them up several times, and her being introduced to large rocks when they got stuck. They had eventually made better time by having Mars join Moon in riding the triceratops.

Sailor Moon's nerves were shot. As had been amply demonstrated, pseudo-reptillian fanged horrors could erupt from almost any direction. Pterodactyls and smaller winged carnivores, or just large bugs, from above. From the foliage, those poison spitters, huge snake-like critters, and small pack whatever-you-call-those flitters. From underground, so far, just some variety of poisonous snake. They didn't worry about those too much, as a triceratops stepping on them usually dealt with the ones that didn't pay attention to all the approaching feet.

Also on the triceratops was Maya Tono. Currently passed out as that one group of relatively tiny dinosaurs had tried to pounce on her and carry her off into the foliage. She had gone completely berserk, striking out with her sticks at everything within range while shrieking at the top of her lungs. And had run headfirst into a large rock.

Misato was currently soaking wet from a stream. She had found, despite the fact that this was supposed to be an island, a patch of quicksand. Or perhaps quickmud would be a better description. She'd rinsed off as soon as they found some clean (relatively) water. And then she'd gotten quite upset at finding leeches. She was also down to two clips and three grenades, and complaining about only having the UN rifle when she now wanted something in the *huge* caliber range, with rocket launcher.

Grey was currently wearing a pair of Arabic style pants, plus a shirt that he'd gotten from Rei that mostly fit, though two pair of eyes peeking from between the buttons revealed that Phobos and Deimos were mainly staying under cover. He was also wearing a blackening eye that had occurred when Maya had still been in her "hysterically attacking anything even vaguely near her" phase. He also was tired enough that he wasn't jumping at shadows, but still quite nervous. Misato had almost pulled him into that quicksand, and rescuing Rei from a large carnivorous plant after she'd tripped and fallen into its grasp had given him several puncture wounds from the thorns. Rescuing Hotaru from that spider-thingie had added sticky and a large bite to several other wounds he'd gotten so far over the past couple of days. Returning back to the United States was beginning to sound *really* good.

Hotaru had been snared by a venomous spider about the size of her head, and one that apparently had very strong sticky webs. Her sempai had helped her out, though Rei had burned away the webs and actually hit Hotaru with the Burning Mandala as well as a large patch of the surrounding jungle. Which left Sailor Saturn with a few cobwebs on her still, some bug spatter, and a number of burns.

Which is why they all came to a halt on entering a clearing and at last coming face-to-face with the poor soul trapped here.

"Hey guys, what took you so long?" Obsidian went back to cleaning his knives.

"Uhmmmf," said Grey, falling to his knees.

Obsidian finished cleaning a knife, which immediately vanished to somewhere on his person. Then climbed down the stack of dinosaur carcasses towards a small fire. "If any of you are hungry, those small feathered flying things taste just like chicken."

"Urk," commented Rei.

The Knight of Fear gestured towards the back of the pen, where two velociraptors cringed against a wall. "Yeah, I tell ya, I was gettin bored. Was gonna see if I couldn't get something to rig a dehydrator, make some jerky out of those big uns. Though they seem to have a *lot* of gristle. Probably have to boil the meat to make it tender enough to work otherwise. The smaller ones seem OK."

Hotaru looked around the compound. "Well, that at least explains where the T-rex went..."

Obsidian glanced up. "Hey, Ace. Company coming."

Everyone conscious looked in the direction that Obsidian had indicated and saw the air ripple and then displace.

Setsuna glided away from the ripple and broke into a bright smile on seeing the group. "Bas-sama!"

Grey smiled up at Setsuna. "Well good, you managed to get free on your own! Glad to see you... uhm is something wrong?"

Setsuna had turned pale and was staring. "Oh no. It can't be. The Sailor of Death - Sailor Saturn?"

Much confusion met that statement.

"It's just Hotaru," tried Grey. "You remember Hotaru, don't you?"

"If Sailor Saturn awakens, the world will die," the former Sailor Pluto said, swinging her Power Key Staff to point at Saturn. "For the sake of the world, Sailor Saturn must die."

Seeing a fight (for whatever reason) about to break out, Grey decided to try using the "magic words" (code phrase to break out of the simulation) before things got even more complicated. "...and they all lived happily ever after!"

--------

Mamoru enjoyed the relative quiet. He got very little of it.

While he dearly loved his "Usako", she tended to try and fill any moments of silence with what was often inane chattering. He was hoping she'd grow out of it.

Their visit to the future Crystal Tokyo had revealed that his future self wore a mask constantly to conceal the dark rings around his eyes, and that future self had tried to signal him without letting Usagi see, so *something* (besides the Dark Moon) wasn't going well in the future.

Chibiusa was sleeping and apparently OK. If one ignored her blue hair, blue skin, blue eyes, etcetera. He thought it likely that these pigmentation changes would fade out normally. And if not, well, there were worse things.

Nearby was sleeping the little blonde girl Ritsuko. Maya Ibuki, the blonde's guardian, had gone home. Mamoru was glad that Chibiusa had a girl her own age to be pals with, even if the other had shown signs of a cruel streak.

The air shimmering brought Mamoru's attention to the yard. The "Jurassic Park" novel glowed and started falling apart, much like the other books had when the prisoner had been set free.

"GRUNK!"

Mamoru raised his eyes heavenward, thanking kami-sama he'd never had something like this happen to *him.*

---------

"-You two KNOCK IT OFF! Errr, someone tell me what 'knock it off' is in Japanese?-"

"Well, maybe the change to the timestream includes that Sailor Saturn doesn't destroy the Earth," allowed Setsuna as she faced her opponent. Not that she was relaxing her guard though.

Hotaru took a step backwards as her sempai now was confronting HER with that glare. "...maybe I shouldn't have called her an 'old hag'."

Grey groaned and shifted a shirt that was stuck to him where various wounds had plastered themselves to that covering. "-You two act your age, will you? i've still got to rescue Sakura, Ayane, Kasumi, Morrigan, Queen Serenity, Ami, Minako, Makoto, Eudial, Honey, Haruka and Michiru. Chiba-san, who's next in the most danger?-"

---------

The Lord Of The Castle summoned his newest acquisition. He was curious, she hadn't seemed that resourceful earlier, but apparently she'd managed to escape this pocket universe and flee into an entirely different one. Well, when he got done, he would have taken her body and soul, and then all her secrets would be his.

The air shimmered and the woman in the gown reappeared, eyes glassy from the force of his mental domination. She walked slowly forward, then knelt before her lord and master, baring her neck for his touch.

"A KA ne!"

The Lord Of The Castle blinked and regarded the odd group stepping through the slowly closing rift. This was odd, but some responses were obvious. A gesture summoned his other brides, who could restrain this lot.

"Hey you! Let that Queen go!" A batwinged redhead pointed at him. "Queens ain't for snacking on!"

"Aka NEEE!" *FWOOOOOOM!*

Being consumed in flame, two of the Lord's brides looked rather startled.

"Who dares to enter Castle Dracula?" Vlad looked over the group. That girl had some powerful lifeforce. What a tasty treat her blood would provide!

"Ranko Saotome!" The batwinged girl said, tapping her bracers. Suddenly she had a very menacing looking weapon in her hands.

"Akane!" *FWOOOM!* *FWOOOM!" The lion was surrounded by little golden flames but she was spitting out gouts of red flame that seemed to incinerate zombies quite well and was proving quite effective against vampire brides as well.

"I just knew this was going to be a horrible idea," grumbled a bluish donkey.

"Terribly sorry about this, but what you are doing is *quite* impolite," lectured a bear. "We were about to have some tea with our honey."

"Let me at him, let me at him, I'll murtalize him!" A cloth tiger bounced around on his tail and made boxing motions.

Vlad sighed and made a gesture with one hand. The various opponents were thrown back against the walls by an unseen force. "This is tiresome. It is so hard to get good help nowadays."

"Then maybe i've come at the wrong time."

Vlad Tepes, Dracula, could feel a migraine coming on. He turned and leapt, fangs extending as he prepared to remove this annoyance.

"Holy power, purest light,
cleanse this foul blight,
strike this evil from my sight.
HOLY!"

Dracula was a powerful vampire and resisted the full force of the purifying spell. Though thrown across the room and smouldering, he was far from defeated.

"AKANE! INFERNA!" Flames formed a coccoon to surround the vampire.

*BOOM!* *BOOM!* *Ra-ta-ta-tat-tatat!* Ranko was sweet and innocent, mainly. Stupid was not the same thing. Having been given those weapon bracers, she was loathe to use them even defensively. Against powerful evil bloodsucking vampires, she was a touch less reluctant.

Queen Serenity looked up and realized that her Basalt had come to her rescue. She smiled as she let unconsciousness claim her. No doubt the ploy with Bennu to make him jealous would allow him to realize that they really were fated to be together.

Grey looked over at... Winnie The Pooh? And Tigger too?

"Hi! I'm Ranko," a girl with batwings and redhair exclaimed. "We've got to go back to the Thousand Acre Wood now, this is just a cameo appearance."

Grey nodded, not understanding at all.

------------

"Ami?"

"The Evangelion world, that Saint Saeya fusion world, and the SM world where he was Mamoru Tengoku."

Mambo Jack nodded. "I thought Makoto was Apple was his gal in that one."

"Yeah," Fleece responded, "so was Hotaru/Grape and Honey/Minako."

"Honey was Minako? Then who was Honey?"

"Honey was Minako, Melon was Honey," clarified Fleece.

"Well what about Minako?"

"There was that Urusei Yatsura/Sailor Moon fusion world."

Mambo Jack looked confused. "Was that one where the Moonies were the aliens?"

"Nope," Fleece manipulated a scrying globe. "Another one entirely. See, here's Grey inserted as an alien who is to play tag against Minako Aino. She sees the publicity this brings her, figures some guy will come and sweep her off her feet as a result, and declares she will be married as she finally catches him. With predictable consequences."

"Plotlines from both SM and UY, huh?" Mambo Jack considered. "Well, what about that Setsuna chick?"

"Other than the relationship between them during the Millenium, there was only..." Fleece's mouth snapped shut and her eyes grew wide. "...the time in the Third Labor."

"What?" Mambo asked, seeing Fleece react like that indicated a *major* revelation had just occurred to the Goddess (Third Class, Probationary) of the Quick Yen.

Fleece hit her head with the palm of one hand. "I can't believe I missed that! This is going to skew the betting all to he- he- heCK!"

"WHAT?!" Mambo Jack was puzzled. "What? What did I miss?"

"No time! I've got to research this!"

----------

On a Sabre Marionette timeline, a world named Terra Two (or Terratoo, depending on who you talked to) was in a rather delicate situation.

Despite the actions and speeches of the dark elven girls known as the Sailor Sundaes (at least currently, they frequently changed their sentai group's name) it looked as if the two major groups would escalate tensions into a full scale war.

Even with the new marionettes patterned after the catgirl Nabiki that had appeared briefly (and had gotten along rather well with Doctor Lorelei prior to Lorelei's disappearance) and having the upgraded speed and agility, plus the Ishii Kairo developed by Mamoru Tengoku prior to *his* disappearance, Japonesse was not really in a position of strength.

Japonesse had lost Lorelei, had committed resources to upgrading defenses, and had committed still more resources to raising the children for the next generation. They had lost several bright young players in their recent technological upswing. They had lost the computer and AI expert Lorelei, the innovative marionette repairman Mamoru Tengoku, and the Outsider known as Sakyo had encoded all her notes so that the technological glut wouldn't be overwhelming all at once. Japonesse still had the edge over most of the other Terratoo "native" countries in their innovations of their android development. However they were a "one trick pony" in that regard - relying entirely on marionettes for defense.

New Texas had developed powerful marionettes too. However, their faith was mainly in their human troops and tanks.

Geltland, Peruburu, and the other countries were *much* further back in the running.

The Mesopotamia forces had much more powerful weaponry, troops who were trained much more effectively, and no compunctions about destroying marionettes or dark elves who opposed them. Whereas the "native" forces were all too aware of the loss of either group. The marionettes with Virgin Circuits were considered quite precious, those with Ishii Kairo only slightly less so, while the darkskinned girls were considered crazy but cute. The catgirl androids, somewhat strange, but greatly appreciated. Even their enemy were regarded as a resource that they didn't want to harm, representing both ties to their past and a genetic treasure for their future.

Then someone unknown kidnapped each and every one of the marionettes equipped with Virgin Circuits. That left the sophisticated engram-related units like Tamasaburo and Baiko, plus the units like the Sabre Marionette O series that were computer controlled. Also were the, in terms of raw horsepower, less powerful units equipped with Ishii Kairo.

It was into this explosive mix that five Ranmas entered.

---------

Ami backed up alongside Ameow. This looked bad.

"Oh hohohohohohohohoho!" The Red Queen laughed as she cracked her whip. "Take BOTH of them to the Tart Factory my mindless minions!"

"Who's she calling mindless?" One of the playing cards sounded quite put upon.

Ami tried something different. "There's no place like home." *click* "There's no place like home." *click* "There's no place like home." *click*

Ameow rolled her eyes. "Wrong story."

"Worth a try," responded Ami.

The playing cards began moving closer, shock-prods held at the ready.

"Pity that you're not Sailor Mercury anymore," remarked Ameow. "So, you suppose the Red Queen there is a projection of your resentment of Usagi?"

"I suppose," Ami said in an uncertain tone. "What do you suppose a 'Tart Factory' is?"

"Nya, Ameow supposes it would depend on your definition of 'tart' - either a small meat pie or a girl of questionable morals."

Both looked at the leather-clad, whip cracking, thoroughly hentai, redhaired version of Usagi Tsukino. Then at the playing cards. Each of the girls was wearing a number of their suite's symbols, and nothing else except stilleto heels.

"This could be bad," murmurred Ami, drawing behind Ameow slightly.

Ameow hissed, baring fangs and flicking her fingers wide to show her claws. "It'll be bad for them if they threaten US."

The Red Queen held up a hand. "Just give us the human. That way, you can return to your world and take her place."

Ami eeeped as she saw the temptation hit the catgirl. If Ameow returned without Ami, she'd go after Grey-san. Whereas Ami herself wasn't interested. Grey-san was nice, kind, thoughtful, and amusing. And he just didn't do anything for her. There was no chemistry.

"Have him all to myself, hmmmmm," Ameow seemed to consider this very carefully. "Nya. Ameow is a hero, and even if it would be convenient, heroes don't do that sort of thing. Ne, Ami?"

Ami agreed, though *logically* the deal was a good one.

*CRACK!* The whip snapped and the Queen gestured to her assembled troops. "Then we'll just have to see about adding a couple of new Tarts. Get them!"

-----

Grey grabbed Mineko Aino as the werecheetah was being chased by a certain Wile E Coyote.

He managed to intervene before crowds of torch-bearing townfolk stormed the cottage currently occupied by Morrigan Aenslad. Not that these posed any more danger to her than the Warner Brothers character had posed a credible threat to Mineko Aino.

The cleric of crossovers, Bast, and humor merely hugged Makoto Kino to him and repeated the phrase to break out of her dreamscape. As this was seconds before she would have ended up being devoured by thousands of skeletal rats, who had finally managed to corner her, Makoto had to be physically pried off of Grey when they arrived in Rei's shrine. It took the combined efforts of Setsuna, Mineko, Rei, Serenity, Maya (Tono), and Morrigan to do this. Misato merely laughed her butt off during this time.

Honey Kisaragi was rescued from a version of "Frankenstein" that would have alarmed and scandalized Mary Shelley. The Wizard's hentai tastes having influenced this dreamscape as well.

The samurai girl, Sakura Shinguchi, was pulled from a strange version of "Three Little Pigs". Her house of twigs had fallen apart, and then she'd taken some attacking wolf's head off with her sword. The only danger she'd felt had been boredom.

The tomboyish Haruka Ten'ou was *very* upset. She had been stuck in "Peter Pan" - you see, and not as Wendy. Which meant that she was about a foot high, with delicate little wings, and wearing a pair of leaves that had been fashioned into a clumsy dress. While it had been relatively easy rescue, Grey had fallen on Captain Hooker, and he'd found the flashlight that "Tinkerbell" had been sealed inside - Haruka was a *very* unhappy pixie.

The rescue of Michiru Kaioh was relatively easy, as she had been cast as Sleeping Beauty. Grey had (reluctantly and very lightly) kissed her, as having her in a cursed sleep when they returned might pose problems. He then said the phrase, returning to the Hikawa Shrine with her as she stirred. Unfortunately, Michiru had apparently mistaken Grey somehow for Haruka as she slowly awakened. Which surprised him as he'd abruptly found her nails digging into his back, her mouth fastened on his as if she were trying to fuse their mouths together, and one of her legs wrapping around one of his own and forcing his legs apart. That lasted for a shocked moment before everyone started prying the two apart. It was also the first time anyone had seen Michiru flustered and embarassed.

Atsuko "Nuku Nuku" Natsume was a little bit tricky. Apparently she'd been cast as a princess who had been kidnapped by some oddball wizard. Standard RPG plot, actually. Nuku Nuku didn't like this game, had kicked the kidnapper into the nearest wall, and had been playing with the monsters. She hadn't wanted to leave, and had taken a lot of time to say "bai-bai" to all of her new friends.

Where Michiru was easy, and Atsuko had been frustrating, Eudial had run into some severe problems. As she had been placed in a samurai epic that would have suited Sakura quite well, she'd found herself in Nobunaga Oda's army as a footsoldier without any of the skills she needed for survival in such an environment. She'd been discovered and thrown into a cell and had been in the process of being beheaded as a spy when she was rescued. As in the sword had already begun the downstroke. She kept feeling her neck and shaking long after she'd been returned to the shrine.

The eurasian ninja girl, Kasumi, had fared better than Eudial or Haruka. Not that that was saying much. She merely had her clothes soaked through by slime and gore, and had been in a story called "The Brave Little Tailor" however all she'd met in there was a few giants, a unicorn, and a rather obnoxious gentleman she'd left behind in short order.

The albino ninja girl (though she preferred the term kunoichi) named Ayane had ended up in some place named "Gor" where she had apparently had to fight from the moment she'd gotten there. By the time she was rescued, the girl had collapsed in exhaustion.

Which left one.

------

Ami watched as the scantily dressed "playing cards" wrestled a struggling catgirl into a cage hanging from a chain.

"The Queen of Hearts,
She likes her tarts,
prepared for her to play,
so lucky guards will make a tart,
from an alley cat today!"

Ami would have been concerned if the catgirl were real.

"AMI! HELP! I HELPED YOU GET AWAY!" The bluefurred catgirl struggled against the hands and the manacles. "AMIIIIII!"

Ami shrugged helplessly. It was illogical to expect that she, an ordinary high school girl, could do anything against these sort of odds. Besides, Ameow had even admitted that she was just an aspect of Ami - the playful and affectionate side she kept buried.

The cage moved slowly towards the vast machine, but Ami had already turned to leave. She wouldn't get another chance like this. Though these villains had been much more interested in the catgirl after she'd kept them from capturing Ami.

The air shimmered and someone dropped from the hole in midair.

Grey landed lightly. "Ami! Are you okay?"

Ami nodded. "You're here to get me out? Took you long enough. I have exams coming up, you know."

Grey blinked at the cool approach and wondered if it was because he'd taken so long rescuing the others. "Uhm, Ami?"

Ami snapped her fingers. "Hurry up. I've spent enough time here."

--------

Michiru, annoyed by some large bug flitting over her head, rolled up one of Rei's magazines and swatted the thing.

Haruka, having been swatted into the table, was less than happy about this situation. Or at least would be if she were still conscious.

People had to break apart the fight occurring between Setsuna and Queen Serenity. Not that the Queen would brawl over one of her former Sailors declaring that the Queen was a spoiled brat whose heart had frozen solid during her hibernation. Not at all. Nor would Setsuna threaten to put the Queen over her lap and spank her. It must have been just an auditory illusion.

Things were a bit tense, though.

The Queen summoned her Guards.

Sailor Mars, Sailor Moon, Sailor Jupiter, Phobos, Deimos, and the two mooncats attempt to play mediator.

Setsuna, Mineko, Morrigan, Sakura, Maya, Honey, Nuku Nuku, and Hotaru stood on the other side.

Everyone else was trying to remain out of the battle altogether.

Eudial grabbed a gadget. This looked like the perfect opportunity. One little manuever, the two groups would kill each other, then she could claim the prize. In the concealment between two trees, she slowly aimed her special weapon - the FireBuster! One good pull on the trigger and that silver-haired Queen would be ash.

A twig snapped underfoot.

Both groups glanced in one direction, saw someone sneaking around with a large gun, and figured that they were being betrayed by one or all of the other groups. Either that, or the Japanese government had sent an assassin in.

Three Senshi sent power blasts towards Eudial. Five Lunar Guards sent their attacks towards Eudial. Honey threw her Honey Boomerang. Sakura sent her Cherry Blossom Spirit Attack. Maya said something unkind. Nuku threw a rock. Hotaru transformed to Sailor Saturn. Setsuna leveled her Power Key Staff and fired off a quick blast.

Eudial was removed from the simulation.

The tension went up another notch but no one attacked the other side yet.

Then there was a small explosion as Grey returned with Ami.

=========

i wanted to try some *very* different "Meet The Tendo" scene ideas. Here's one.

---------
OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE

"Uhnnnn," Ranma slowly struggled back to consciousness. "Stupid old man, hitting me from behind like that! What ya do that for, anyway?"

"Because if I told you what was waiting for you here, you'd have left the country," Genma said from nearby.

Ranma looked around. There was his father and some other guy about the same age. "Yeah, and what the blazes was the reason we needed to get here anyway?"

"There is a matter of old honor, an agreement between families," began Genma.

"Cut to the chase scene old man! What the hell is so damn important it has to be done *now?*"

"Many years ago, we served a terrible Master. Who did something horrible to my wife, a threat he made to use magic against her unless she gave in to his demands. She did not. He followed through."

Ranma settled down slightly. Vengeance he could understand. Magic could be like the curse, so maybe it had a bearing after all and wasn't just another stupid idea of his father. "Yeah, yeah, so why me and why now?"

"You just turned sixteen," pointed out Genma.

Ranma nodded. Okay, but all that meant was that he had just fallen into a legal twilight zone. He wasn't supposed to drink sake, or drive, or do a lot of other things. "So what was this curse? She didn't turn into a panda with cold water, did she?"

"Worse," said Soun, looking into his tea. Then the waterfalls began as Soun Tendo lost it.

Genma cleared his throat. "She died, Ranma. The Master attempted a spell that would turn her into his 'pet' - but it was not completely successful. He never *did* get that curse right."

"BWaaaaaaah," continued Soun.

"Originally, we were going to have you marry one of Soun's daughters," began Genma.

"WHAT?!" Ranma found himself standing and glaring at his father.

"Unfortunately, that isn't possible," finished Genma, raising an eyebrow and meeting Ranma's gaze.

"Oh." Ranma sat back down, now feeling bad about his outburst.

"Ohhh! Poor Kimiko!" Soun said between wordless wailing. "Not only to die but have her humanity stolen!"

"Something like a Jusenkyo curse?" Ranma asked his father.

"No turning back to normal with hot water," said Genma solemnly.

"Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane. My three daughters. They were born after the Master..."

"His three daughters are not legally human. Therefore you can't marry them." Genma evidently regretted it. "Almost but not quite. So you can go search for a cure, but after you adopt them as pets."

"WHAT?!" Ranma found himself standing again. "What kinda agreement is..."

"Oh myaow! This is Ranma?"

"Nyaa! He's pretty cute!"

"Yeah, mya, maybe this could work out."

Ranma stood paralyzed and slowly turned towards the interruption. One girl was wearing a frilly apron. Another was wearing a pair of shorts and a tight top. The third was wearing a gi.

They were catgirls.

"Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-CAT!"

Three sets of ears went flat as their new owner went racing through a door without benefit of opening it.

"Well, *that* didn't work out," summed up Nabiki.

"We ought to give chase," suggested Akane, who'd seen this in an American cartoon about a French skunk.

"That's the ticket, don't let him get away," encouraged Soun.

Genma shook his head. If he'd only read the last page of that manual... Oh well. It wasn't his fault after all.

Meanwhile, somewhere not far away, three kittens cornered Ranma Saotome. It was when he started to meow that things got really weird.

--