Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Change ❯ Change Pt. 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Change pt. 1

The Firefaery

PG-13

Contains kissing, foul language, and some violence.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon

I laid my head down and sighed wearily. What a day…I'm so tired of being this way! It's not like I enjoy tripping or doing badly in school. Or that I get a kick out of being late all the time, disappointing my senshi, my parents, my lover… All I ever wanted in life, before two years ago, was to get out of school, find someone to love, and start a family. More than anything, I love children, and I've always wanted to be a mother. Just the idea of carrying a new life inside me, watching it grow, helping that new person be a help to the world; it's so amazing!

Then, of course, I met Chibi-Usa, and my whole outlook changed. I'm considering getting fixed! If anyone had told me that I would have such a horrible little monster for a daughter, I would have thought they were crazy. The plans I have for my future children would never have allowed her to turn out like that, even at only five. And that hair, and those eyes! Pink, for Goddess' sake! Secretly my least favorite color, although I'm constantly being labeled with it.

All that aside, though. I just don't understand why the Inners act the way they do. When I first became Sailor Moon I was only fourteen years old, and had been mostly sheltered from the violence of the world. I was my parents' little girl, with pink sheets and bunny wallpaper. I'd never really been given the chance to grow up. And suddenly, an enormous mantle of responsibility was thrust upon me.

`Lead the Senshi,' Luna told me, grow up! Be stronger, quit being stupid, you're such a failure in school, so disappointing, what am I going to do with you? You're late again! What's the matter with you!? Klutz, ditz, airhead, Odango Atama! The mocking, scolding voices roar through my mind, always deriding me. They say they're just trying to help me, but how can I believe them when at every turn they're putting me down? Saying I'm not good enough, then telling me to be better. The other Senshi have led vastly different lives then I have, up till now.

Ami lost her father through a brutal divorce, and submerged herself in academics and books. Makoto lost both parents to a plane crash at a young age and then had to fend for herself with little help from other family members, becoming depressed, angry, and violent. Mina moved constantly throughout her childhood and was frequently thrust into the showbiz spotlight, never being able to connect with people; then even a year before me, she became Sailor V. Mamoru lost both parents to a car wreck, and any memories of them, proceeding to shut himself off from the world. And Rei, who lost her mother very young and then had her father reject her, helping to cultivate her temper later on.

All of my close friends have been brushed in one way or the other by the harsh reality that is life in this world. I, on the other hand, have both parents, both sets of grandparents, an annoying little brother, and have lived in this same house since the day I was born. None of them know what it's like to have a stable, average home life, whereas I used to know nothing about how the real world worked. Then, of course, I was thrust into the darkest side of it one day two years ago. To one day have close childhood friends, a loving set of parents, and at least passing grades, and the next know you are meant to lead others in saving the world was a big thing to take in.

I admit, I didn't do so well a job at first. I mean, I had never been in a physical fight in my entire life! I had been free to do basically as I pleased and still manage to pass school and usually please my parents. What did I know about saving people from evil beings from a past I had no memory of? But that didn't matter to Luna, or later the others. They didn't realize what a shock this was. They all just considered me a weak crybaby who was too chicken and immature to handle the situation.

I have gotten better. I'm sixteen now, and I've grown into my gangly body somewhat. I'm doing decently in school, not that they've noticed, as it's still not good enough for them, apparently. I'm not the confused little fourteen-year-old I was. But they don't seem to care, or even realize. I've begun to feel changes in my body, and notice changes in the way I move. As my seventeenth birthday nears, I know that my threshold of power looms closer as well. Something's moving in me, emerging, and I don't know how to control it. I work every day to hide the way I look now, but I'm beginning to fail at it. It scares me, the enormous power I feel inside me. I'm not ready…

I'm so scared. My future has been planned out for me, with me having no say in the matter. I'm to marry Mamoru, produce an heir, a.k.a. Chibi-Usa, a.k.a. The Spore. I will create Crystal Tokyo, and rule the universe as a serene queen high upon her throne. It all sounds horribly boring. I don't want to be put away on a shelf for people to admire while others do the real ruling of *my* supposed kingdom. And I especially don't want Chibi-Usa for my daughter. She has great power, it's true, but she has no light. I can see it, the light inside me. I am a divine being, closer to the heavens then to the earthly world.

I'm not exaggerating, or bragging. I can't help what I am. My mother was a goddess of sorts, and I will one day be no less. Even now, I'm something more then mortal. But my own future daughter, she is something else. I don't know how to describe what I feel around her, but she is cold, manipulative, and horribly obsessed with pink. I don't understand how Mamoru and I, Endymion and Serenity, could create a new life, and end up with such a monster. It's true she helped us defeat the Dark Moon Clan and the Death Phantom, though that whole business was mostly her fault in the first place, and was the link to Pegasus and Helios with the Dead Circus, but with the Deathbusters she was mainly a hindrance, and when Chaos appeared she disappeared. Something isn't right; something has gone wrong somewhere. I can feel it.

I have much to ask Pluto, should I get the chance. But that's really not what this is about. I've changed, grown up, but my court and my beloved don't see it. And it almost disgusts me with how the Outers act so aloof and omniscient, as though they need not bother themselves with the lesser Inners. We are to one day rule a kingdom and people, so it is said, yet we act not as a team, but as bickering factions with no real goals in mind. The Three Lights, as disrupting as their time here was, got the job done and went back to Kinmokusei to serve their princess; Mission accomplished. If only our group would act as a team. I can feel the need for us to unite looming closer, a dark destiny spanning out before us. We're meant to fight it, if not win, at least try, but we're too scrambled and factional to accomplish what we'll need to.

I'd dearly love to unite them, and finally start acting like the great fighting force we are, but they refuse to acknowledge my worth. I don't know what I'm going to do! Mamoru still treats me like the young girl I was when we met, naïve and innocent to the `ways of the world' and the Inners act as though I am a mindless porcelain doll to admire and smile at but also to condescend to and ridicule, to be placed on shelf until all other avenues have been tried, when my power is needed. Not me, just my power. If one of them could wield the Ginzuishou, I'm sure I'd be out of a job.

I groan loudly into my pillow. I hate my room, I hate my clothes, I hate my hair, and I hate how my friends treat me! I think it's time for a change. Chibi-Usa is in the future for the time being, only infrequent youma attacks occur now that Chaos is healed, and spring break is upon me. What shall I do with all this free time? I needed to take a break from all this foreboding surrounding me. The time for action with the Senshi drew closer, but it could wait. I needed to spend some time with my mom.

"Well, Usagi-chan, what did you have in mind?" my mother asked, seeming pleased with the idea of spending some time together.

"I don't know, maybe we could take a trip to the mall? We could get some things for my room or something, go to a salon, just the two of us?" I suggested, giving her my best sad-eyed pleading puppy-dog expression. Like all mothers, she couldn't resist her baby girl and gave in.

"Okay, honey, we can go shopping for some new things for your room," she conceded, and chuckled as I whooped with joy. "Not too much, though, or your father will get annoyed with us," she added, shaking a finger at me. I nodded happily, for once making time to spend with my much-neglected mother.

The next day, I got out of picnic with the Senshi, thankfully having a real excuse not to go. My mom and I were going shopping. We headed to the mall, parked, and walked inside. We didn't really have a destination, just planned on wandering around and having fun. I needed fun, after constant battles and saving the world. I couldn't get the black thoughts of disaster heading towards us completely out of my mind, though.

We spotted a new bedding store, and stepped inside out of curiosity. Inside were sheets of every kind. Cow sheets and airplane sheets for kids, white cotton for boring adults, kinky satin in all different shades for not so boring adults, and plenty of others for the rest of us. Ikuko-mama and I strolled through the aisles, not really planning on searching for anything in particular. Suddenly, a set of sheets caught my eye, some conservative black twin sheets of cotton. I thought, to hell with it, why not? So we bought them.

We passed a paint shop, and Ikuko-mama mentioned getting some pale green for the dining room. I shrugged and trudged along, not really expecting to find much of any interest in here. I roamed the aisles, my eyes casually passing over the many color displays. A somber, almost misty gray color made me look twice, and I thought of the bunny wallpaper and crescent moons covering my walls. Again, to hell with it crossed my mind and I grabbed a few cans and talked Mom into going along with the idea of painting my room.

The day turned out to be a lot of fun, and a major stress reliever. For the moment, at least. We eventually ended up with new furniture for my room; a steel six foot shelf set, a black bean bag chair that wouldn't show Luna's fur, two steel nightstands, and more paint to do a mural on my ceiling. I even managed to get a desk out of the whole thing, for homework I suggested, shocking my mother. It could replace my old white vanity. I couldn't believe I'd decided to change so much with my room, but that's not all I changed.

We ended up in a hair salon, only planning on getting manicures or something, but a thought struck me.

"Mama, what do you think of me getting my hair cut?" I asked seriously, turning to look at her. She quirked an eyebrow at me, then smiled.

"I think you'll look beautiful no matter what you do, baby," she said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. My mom knew something, I could tell, but that's what mothers are for. To know things and let you go on with your life anyway, making mistakes as you go. I grinned and sat down in a salon chair, my heart thudding in my chest. What would they think?

"What do you think you want? A trim?" the attendant asked as she gently undid my odangos and let my white-blonde hair loose, brushing the floor.

"I'm not sure…I just know I want a totally different look." I lifted a strand to my face, glaring at the offending piece. She laughed, turning me around to face the room as she began to wash the whole length.

"We could go for a bob, just below the ears. I think that would look really good on you," she suggested, and I immediately agreed, my chest tightening as she rinsed my hair, then pulled it into a loose ponytail. "Our salon is a member of the Hair for Kids cancer association, which takes donated hair and makes it into wigs for children who have lost their hair to leukemia or cancer treatments. Would you like to donate your hair to them?" I didn't even need to think about it. I didn't need my hair, and it would be great if some little girl could have a beautiful blonde head of hair to make her feel good. At my admission, she grabbed a pair of sheers and sawed through the ponytail, coming up with a handful of hair at least three feet long.

She continued on from there, and I closed my eyes, trying not to listen to the snips and clipping noises the scissors made as she cut. To change my look this much…wow! I was anxious to see the final results. I felt tugs and gentle yanks on my scalp, and followed her instructions to turn my head this way or that, for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, after the blow drier stopped whirring, my head feeling light enough to float away, she turned me to face the mirror. I opened my eyes gradually, prepared to see the worst, and gasped in shock. A wide-eyed pixie stared back at me from the mirror. The blue orbs in her face shimmered with tears as I took in the sight. I looked so different, so much…older. I was sure I could pass for eighteen with this style. It was amazing how much of a change there was.

"Oh my gosh, Usagi is that you?" I heard my mother exclaim, seeing her astonished face reflected in the mirror. I had a goofy grin on my face as I turned to look at her.

"Isn't it great, Mama? I can't believe how old I look!" I cried, internally cringing at the lecture I was sure to get from Luna when she saw my `royal hairstyle' all chopped off. Rei would probably get in on me, too.

"Usagi, you look so grown up…," she said softly, brushing her fingers against my cheek. I grinned, hugging her. She looked good, too. She trimmed her teal hair to her shoulders, making her look younger but also sophisticated. You would probably never guess she was the mother of a sixteen and twelve-year-old. We paid for our cuts and walked back out into the mall, me feeling satisfied with the risk I'd taken. I decided to do some clothes shopping by myself, so I headed to a promising store while my mom whisked into a candle store.

I browsed through the racks, not sure what I was getting into. I'd always had someone with me when shopping. I was tired of skirts and sundresses, and bright, loud colors. A black tank top caught my eye, and I grabbed it. I eventually got another tank, white, some more black and gray shirts with short and no sleeves, and a pair of hip hugger black loose legged pants. I splurged and bought an expensive black canvas jacket that reached my knees as well. I felt strange, spending so much time by myself just to pick out a few clothes, but I sighed and shrugged it off, not really caring. I needed a wardrobe change anyway, and now was as good a time as any, with Mom footing the bill. I paid for the stuff and headed out to the car to meet my mom. We drove home, the back seat and trunk full of our purchases. I knew I'd need more clothes, but for now these should do.

That whole week my mom and I spent together, working on my room, sorting through old stuff, getting ready for school that Monday. I really loved it. I'd been so busy with Senshi business I hadn't spent as much time with my mother. And there were no youma attacks that week either; what a relief. On Friday night, with Shingo and my dad hiding out in the living room, away from the bustling females of the household, we stood back to admire the finished product of my room. It looked great.

Gone were the bunnies, the crescent moons, and the fluffy white clouds. Nary a pink thing was in sight and all my stuffed animals were donated to the Good Will or to Chibi-Usa's attic room, uneasy as the thought of her made me. My bed had on the new sheets with the steel nightstands to either side. My vanity was gone, given to my `daughter' as well, with the tall shelf set in its place. The bean bag chair was at the foot of my bed, and the desk was across the wall from my shelves. The walls were gray, and the mural looked amazing. We'd managed, with some help from one of my mom's artsy friends, to do a really good imitation of a galaxy swirl, with a blue-black space surrounding it. The thing took up my whole ceiling, save for where my light fixture was.

My closet and chest of drawers were nearly empty, all my middle-school clothes and outdated outfits were gone, replaced by what I'd picked up that day at the mall, along with some more things we'd gone after later in the week. I hadn't seen Mamo-chan or the Senshi all week, so my new hair cut was still a secret, and Luna had taken a vacation with Artemis at Minako's house. We were all planning on having a slumber party at the temple tomorrow night, and that was when everything would come out. I didn't know how to tell them what needed to be said, the warning the stood on the tip of my tongue about the coming future. It all looked pretty dark from my viewpoint, and I wasn't even the keeper of Time, either, like poor Setsuna. A warm feeling filled me from inside, as though something was trying to comfort me, and I knew what it was. It was my other half, the true side of me that I tried to keep hidden everyday. To let the illusion slip away would reveal too much to everyone. I doubted even Luna and Artemis knew the whole story like I was slowly learning, the knowledge seeping in like a potted plant with a leak.

My mom slung an arm around my shoulders, hugging me to her. I hugged her waist as we admired our handiwork. I snorted as I remembered Daddy's reaction to our little project. The day we came home from the mall with our hair whacked off and the car loaded with bags, he took one look at us and fainted dead away in the entryway. We had to walk over his prone body the take stuff inside. He didn't mention it after that, but his supposedly confused but also admiring looks said it all. I was growing up, but into what, nobody but myself could say.

I sighed into the light breeze that ruffled my short hair, lying in the shade of a large oak in the park, having just finished The Jungle Books by Kipling. I curled up on my side, the spring-like atmosphere easing my worries about tonight. My eyes drifted shut as the warm sun and soft new grass relaxed my body. I slid into sleep as the wind blew through the buds of the tree above me. I didn't even notice another figure casually walking along the path by my tree.

~

I slid a hand through my hair, tension easing from my shoulders as the relaxing feeling of the park in spring swept through me. My brow furrowed in worry, though, as my thoughts returned to my Usako. She had seemed to be avoiding me all week of this vacation, when I was sure she would have wanted to spend as much time as she could with me without school. I'd even mentioned it to Rei, and she'd said Usagi hadn't been with the Senshi all this week either. It was oddly strange.

Something was coming, though what, I couldn't say. I felt like the world was on a slight tilt, everything around me was sort of skewed and slightly twisted, like a bad camera lens had replaced my eyes. I didn't know what to call it, just a feeling of something bad approaching. The absence of Usako this week had only intensified my feelings of foreboding. There was something going on with her, too.

My mind was clouded with these thoughts, barely noticing the woman sleeping peacefully under one of the large oaks that dotted the park. She had short blonde hair and fair skin, and wore dark pants and a black tank top. I screeched my walking to a halt as I realized who it was. Usako was sleeping under that tree, with her hair all chopped off and wearing clothes I'd never seen before! I quickly turned and walked back to her, realizing as I did that she even lay next to a slightly worn copy of Kipling's The Jungle Books. Even more confusing!

I knelt down and brushed a gentle hand through her bangs, sure now that this was definitely my Usako. `Is this what you've been doing this week?' I asked silently, questions filling my throat. She'd changed drastically in just a week. I didn't even know she owned anything black.

"Usako," I called, trying to wake her up. She didn't respond, her eyelids not even flickering. "Usako, wake up," I said, gripping her shoulder. Still, she slept on. An idea came to me, something I wouldn't have considered doing even a few months earlier. A wicked glint came into my eye, and I bent down to her slightly parted lips, my eyes on her face the whole time. I kissed her softly, half-hoping that would be enough. I could feel her stir beneath me, but she didn't waken completely. I deepened the kiss, becoming more demanding. I felt heat filling my body, but pushed it down. This was still Usagi.

I watched her startling blue eyes flicker open, cloud in confusion as she took in her situation, then calm as she realized who I was. I was surprised to say the least when she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. Her lips were hot against mine, tension filling me, and I tried something new. Flicking my tongue against her welcoming mouth, I slid between her lips, caressing her tongue as I did. This new experience was amazing. My breath came short through my nose as the kiss continued, and I felt if we kept this up, it could lead somewhere she wasn't ready for. I regretfully broke it off, pulling slowly away from her and panting. I gave her a half-smile, reassuring.

"Hello, Usako," I managed, flopping down on the grass next to her. She laughed slightly, laying her head on my chest. I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. "I meant to wake you up with a light kiss, but…" I couldn't continue, just the thought of that kiss made me speechless. She laughed again, turning to look at me.

"Gomen, Mamo-chan, but how could I resist when I woke up to find my prince had found me?" She grinned impishly, her eyes twinkling. I could only shake my head, thoroughly amused. My eyes strayed to her hair, and I brushed a hand through it gently. Her face clouded over.

"Usako, your hair…" I said softly, turning her chin to face me. She wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Do you hate it, Mamoru?" she whispered softly, and I realized this meant a lot to her, what I thought. I knew I could hurt her if I answered wrong.

"Iie, Usagi, I love it. You look so beautiful and grown up. I didn't even realize how much you've changed. And these clothes…" I added, sitting up and pulling her into my arms and lap. She looked up at me, hopeful.

"Hai, Ikuko-mama and I went shopping!" she exclaimed, smiling happily, and I knew I'd said it right. "Mamo-chan…I just needed a change. I am grown up, now, but you and the Senshi don't seem to realize it. Have you even noticed my grades recently?" she asked, her features troubled. I was ashamed to admit I hadn't. School for me had been more important, and I hadn't expected anything about my Usako to change.

"Iie, gomen nasai, Usako. I admit I haven't noticed." I kissed the top of her head, and she leaned into me for a moment. Then she turned and grabbed her book nearby, pulling a paper slip out of the back. It was her latest progress report.

"I've been carrying it around, waiting for a time to show you, but you've been so busy with your classes at the University…" she trailed off, handing me the slip. I scanned the sheet, not knowing what to expect, and felt my eyes widen in surprise as I read. She'd made six B's and even an A in World History.

"Usagi, this is wonderful!" I hugged her to me fiercely, horribly sorry that I'd missed this, missed her beginning transformation into a young adult. I swore to myself I'd pay more attention from now on. "I'm very proud of you…You've changed, and I didn't even notice," I added sadly, looking down at her.

After Galaxia had been defeated and we were all brought back to life, things had settled into their old routines when we weren't doing our duty as protectors of Earth. School, home, occasional Senshi meetings, not really worrying about the future, as we of course knew what was to come. Usagi and I were engaged, but it wasn't really serious yet, she was only sixteen. We all treated her as we had from day one, really. As though she were still an inexperienced child who needed our `guidance' to help her along. I knew we all saw her as something fragile, to be protected and put away from harm, not to really take seriously. I realized we were wrong to do that. If someone had tried to tell Queen Serenity from the Moon that she wasn't capable of taking care of herself, let alone a planet, they would probably have found themselves turned into a rock in the royal gardens or some such.

She hadn't deserved that treatment, but we all thought ourselves more worldly then her. That might have been true two years ago, but it wasn't so now. She'd died many times to save this world. But because we didn't believe in her, we lost out on watching her grow. It made me want to yell at myself and at the Senshi for not realizing it sooner. And I knew for a fact she hadn't seen them yet.

"I'm tired of being treated like a nobody except when I'm the only course of action left. I will one day rule Crystal Tokyo, or so I've heard, but if you treat me then like you have been now, it will be an empty rule. I don't want to be a puppet queen, only there for show, Mamoru. Can you understand that?" she pleaded, her voice serious and searching, hoping to find within me the support she hadn't been given. I nodded gravely, also serious. She had thought this out, and had realized what would happen if she didn't learn control and leadership now. I myself had just trusted in our glimpse of the future and what Chibi-Usa, annoying and unsettling as she may be, had told us.

"I understand. I'm sorry that I haven't given you the support you deserve. And I wish I could have been there to help you realize your true potential. Can you forgive me?" I asked, meeting blue to blue, love and hope strung between us. She kissed me softly, nothing like the passionate one earlier, but still sweet and filled with love.

"Hai, Mamo-chan, as long as you stay true to your word. I want an equal, a partner by my side, not another father figure," she teased, though her sentiments were true. I hadn't much treated her like a girlfriend or future wife. And one Kenji was definitely enough. I leaned my forehead against hers, smiling.

"This could be the beginnings of something very interesting," I whispered huskily, as I dragged her down into another deep kiss. As we sank down to the grass, I knew the Senshi were in for a surprise tonight.

~

I blinked at the clock next to Mamoru's bed, confused by the time I saw there. I shot up, hair in my eyes, as I realized I only had half an hour to get ready and head to Rei's.

"Damn," I muttered, sliding out of bed and trying not to wake Mamo-chan, who was sprawled gracelessly over one side of his bed. We hadn't done anything, only made out ferociously and fallen asleep together, but it had felt good to sleep next to him for a few hours. A new depth was slowly developing in our relationship, and I wanted to enjoy every minute of it. First, though, I needed to find my socks.

I woke him with my soft cursing and stumbling around his dim apartment, but I didn't mind, as he offered to give me a ride to the temple.

"Usagi, I'll be there with you, don't worry," was all he said, kissing my cheek as we pulled up to the steps, the sun setting on the horizon.

~

I glared fiercely at the clock on the wall behind me, tapping my foot impatiently as more seconds ticked by. Odango Atama was late as usual. The other Inners were back in my room, while I sat on the steps of the entry way and waited for her to show up. The Outers were *maybe* coming by later this evening to hang out and possibly spend the night, but I wasn't counting on them. Since all real threats had been taken out, they'd become even more elusive then when they'd first shown up. Pluto of course had returned to the Gates of Time, leaving Michiru and Haruka as Hotaru's sole parental figures.

"Bah! Odango Atama, your ass had better show up or I swear…" I muttered, feeling my temper heating up. I couldn't really help it, whenever Usagi was the subject my emotions went haywire, and I felt like I needed to protect her from the world. To do that, she needed to stop being so flaky, and if yelling at her would help, so be it. I growled in annoyance, hearing the others inside without me, probably eating all Mako's snacks before Usagi could pig out. I heard running footsteps coming up the steps and knew it was her. I turned to glare at the wall inside, feeling my cheeks burn red with suppressed temper.

"Gomen, Rei-chan…" she began, panting from running with clothes and a sleeping bag. I merely huffed.

"Don't bother, Odango. You're always late, what's new? I think I'd die of heart failure if you actually showed up on time for something, even your own funeral," I added, knowing it would hit home and not caring. She had to learn…

"Rei…" she whispered, and I winced. Maybe I did care. I turned to look at her and gasped in shock.

"Baka, what did you do to your hair?!" I yelled, and heard the others come out to meet us and gasp in similar shock.

"Usagi-chan! Nani!? Your hair is all chopped off! Did Shingo play a prank on your or something?" Mako asked, giving an obvious reason for this new style. Usagi crushed that when she answered. I say Mamoru approach out of the corner of my eye, but dismissed him for the moment.

"Iie, I had it done at the mall. I wanted a change. What do you think?" she asked, turning in a circle after laying her stuff down. It was short all around, just below her ears and a little higher in the back. We all looked at each other, at a loss for words.

"Well, it's…different," Ami managed, shifting nervously. The Princess no longer wore the royal hair style. How would that affect things?

"Usagi-chan, I love it!" Minako exclaimed, and I groaned in annoyance, realizing that of course one blonde would side with the other. She ran to hug her and they jumped around, laughing. "I think I'll get my hair cut, too!" Makoto was grinning, I was fuming, and Ami still looked nervous and worried.

"Baka, do you know what you've done?!" I yelled, breaking up the revelry. Usagi turned to look at me, her face serious.

"Iie, Rei, tell me what I've done."

"You've changed your hair! The royal hairstyle that Princess Serenity always wears. That you've always worn! And Sailor Moon! What were you thinking?" I exclaimed, flinging my arms out. She was silent for a moment, which surprised me. By now, usually, she would have wailed `Rei, you're so mean!' at least once.

"Rei…" Mamoru cautioned, stepping forward but stopping as Usagi gave him a look.

"Hai, Usagi-chan. We don't know what the consequences could be of such a drastic change," Ami cautioned, looking less nervous now that someone else had said what was on her mind. Usagi drew herself up to her lofty five feet and one inch.

"Don't be stupid!" she cried, shocking Ami and I and causing Mako and Mina to guffaw in surprise. Mamoru's lips quirked as he watched her, but still he said nothing. "How can cutting my hair have any effect at all on anything? It's just hair! I could have shaved my head and it would have made no difference," she added forcefully. I glared at her, feeling my temper rising higher.

"You are such a baka! How can you just casually change something that has been a part of you for two lifetimes?! Usagi, I knew you were dumb, but I didn't realize you were brainless and selfish as well!" I cried, nearly screaming at her. Her face was tight, but she didn't say anything. A flush was high in her cheeks, and even without the odangos on her head, I secretly admitted she still looked regal. "Well, say something, or have you lost what sense you have to speak?" I sneered.

I didn't even see her move. Suddenly, she was in front of me with her arm swinging back. Before I could react, I was lying on the ground, my left eye throbbing from her astonishingly killer right hook. The others stood paralyzed, while Usagi stood above me, her hand over her mouth in obvious horror. She took a deep breath and a step back, calming herself. Mamoru came forward to place a hand on her shoulder.

"Gomen, Rei-san, but you go too far with your words," she began, her voice rich and serious, unlike the normal bubbly Usagi. "You are not my keeper, nor my mother, and it is my choice as to what I do to my appearance. I am the Princess Serenity, hai, but I am also Tsukino Usagi. Just a girl. You have no right to try and control me," she finished, tears shining brightly in her eyes. I took away the hand I had placed over where she punched me; I knew I'd have a black eye.

"Usagi…" I said quietly, guilt filling me. She was right, she was so right. I was just so used to, I don't know, feeling superior to this girl who had a perfect life. I knew what it was like for things to go wrong in your life, for people you loved to leave you or hurt you. The worst thing that had ever happened to Usagi before she became Sailor Moon was to get the wrong color shirt for her birthday. I looked at her, really looked, and saw things I hadn't noticed before.

She was mature, she held herself as though she knew what she wanted. Her clothes weren't the usual obnoxious pink or cheery yellow; they were serious black and sophisticated gray. Her new hairstyle made her look older while accentuating her large blue eyes, giving her a mysterious, waifish look. She had changed, and we didn't even notice, so caught up were we in our efforts to push her to be like she was on the Moon.

"Usagi…"Ami said, perhaps realizing what I had as well. We all paused as we heard the squeal of tires down at the bottom of the steps. I could swear it was Haruka's car, but that would mean they had actually shown up, and I found that a farfetched conclusion. It was proven all too true, though, when three sets of footsteps came up the stairs, and topped it, revealing Michiru, Haruka, and chibi-Hotaru. Usagi turned to look at them.

"Good, you did come," she began, before Hotaru stopped her with a giggle of delight.

"Usagi-chan! You cut your hair! It looks almost like mine now!" the little girl cried, obviously pleased. I felt more guilt as even this child took her change better than I had. My temper was sometimes even too much for me. Mamoru smiled again, and I could swear he was enjoying the situation.

"Koneko? Are you all right?" Haruka asked, concerned with Usagi's flushed appearance. Usagi sighed and shook her head slowly, turning slightly to look at us all. I felt like an animal caught in someone's headlights, struck by the sudden power in her eyes.

"Iie, I'm not all right," she answered softly, her shoulders slumping slightly as though the weight of the world rested on them. Briefly, I realized it did. "Look at us, Haruka. Do you see the shock on their faces? It's amazing that you even showed up. Are you even planning to stay?" she asked seriously, turning to look at the stoic wind Senshi. Haruka shrugged her shoulders and Michiru shook her head, admitting a no.

"We were not planning on spending the night, if that's what you mean," Michiru finally answered, not seeming to be bothered by the shift in Usagi's personality. Maybe she hadn't noticed it yet, though how that could be I didn't know. I could sense it from here; a strength I'd felt in battle only, and then rarely, and a mature quality that echoed Serenity but was not her exactly.

"I see. So you'll do your usual breeze in, breeze out routine, leaving us with no clue as to where you'll be if we need you, when we'll see you again, nothing," Usagi accused, her voice almost frosty. The Inners were riling up as well, spoiling for a reason to point fingers at the shifty Outers.

"You can reach us on our communicators in a crisis," Haruka pointed out, her back going stiff. Michiru stepped forward to support her partner, while Hotaru looked on in silent watchfulness.

"That's not good enough. We are meant to be a team, damn it, but there will never be one if it's always the Outers and the Inners. We are Senshi foremost, not factions. I do not tell anyone how to run their lives, but if you wish to remain Senshi, you must all be willing to put your life on hold for that title. Or I will take it and give it to another who is worthy," she finished ominously, and only I seemed to notice that those words were directed at us all.

"You can't do that!" Michiru cried, her eyes widening slightly. Usagi pinned her with a look.

"I can and I will. This is for all to hear. We are Senshi! There can be no divisiveness among us! We beat Galaxia, though barely, and the next enemy might be the one we lose to because of our bickering."

"Usagi…don't you think this is a little extreme?" Ami asked, brushing hair out of her eyes.

"Really Odango, how can we take you seriously?" I muttered loudly, standing up and facing her. My temper was at the boil, and damn anyone who stood in my way. "You're always late, always thinking of yourself or food. You barely make it in time to most of our battles, for fuck's sake. Chibi-Usa does more to help this team than you do! Why should we listen to you?" Mamoru glared at me, his dark eyes bottomless in the faint light.

"Is that what you think? That I'm joking? That I'm something to laugh at or sneer down to?" she whispered, pain filling her eyes. "I will show you what I truly am…." Mamoru and all the rest of us stepped back slightly, her words and tone puzzling us, tension thick on the air.

And then the world fell away. That's how it felt to me. She let something go, a veil to hide her face, a shroud of illusion that was everyday Usagi in front of the being she truly was. My heart pounded in my chest as I looked at her. Her hair was long again, but loose and far beyond her ankles. It glowed a pale white, swirling `round in a breeze only she felt. It twisted around the wings sprouting from her back, long feathered lengths of pure light. Her eyes were a silver that shone with power, skin translucent with inner light.

I felt the power coursing through her, pounding in her veins, running through her strong, fragile body like rapids down rocks. She stood naked before us, a being beyond comprehension or mortal understanding, but her nakedness did not embarrass her. More that it showed how perfect she was, that she could be unclothed and free in it. Like Eve at her birth, unaware that it should be hidden. I felt my face, and my fingers came away wet from salty tears. Six of us stood there in wonder and awe, lost at the sight of her true self. How could we have doubted her? She smiled then, as though our thoughts were clear to her, and suddenly we were awash in her glow. It was love. Pure, simple, unadorned, unconditional love that poured off her like rain and filled us where we were empty, where we were dark and spiteful, lonely, estranged. Only Mamoru and Hotaru seemed only slightly affected, their feet lurching a tiny bit.

"Serenity…" someone whispered, and I realized it was me as I fell to my knees. I heard thuds all around me, and knew the others were doing the same. She shook her head slightly, a nominal negative move that made me feel guilty for naming her wrong.

"Iie…I am more than that. I am immortal, forever. I will love all things `til the end of Time, and then create them anew to love once more. I am endless, bottomless, eternal. It took over ten thousand years to create this body to house me, born from the Queen of the Moon and the King of the Sun. It took a thousand years more to make it anew from a mortal woman. I have taken this form to touch the lives of the people I loved from afar, so that we may come together to stop the final enemy which approaches," the being whispered, her voice an echo of star shine, a glimmer of moon on water.

"What enemy?" Minako asked quietly, her voice quivering slightly.

"Entropy. The last death."

"I, too, have come," a darker voice whispered, sliding through us like a cold chill. Hotaru stood in dark glory, black wings and long black hair surrounding her. She, too, was a being of awe, though one that inspired apprehension as well. "I am Death, as she is Life. But we are a part of each other, for without me Life would stagnate and become vulnerable to Entropy. From my embrace does she take the souls of all things and make them anew, but there is no coming back from Entropy. It is the eliminator, the eraser, the delete key on the computer of the universe. Entropy is the shaker of the balance, the one who takes the scales and cracks them to pieces. We have come to erase Entropy, but we can not do it alone. Life has need of you, for she is breaking under your derision," she cautioned harshly, her voice like black wings in the night. At those last words Life dimmed slightly, her face saddened. "She can not do it alone, however she may think she can try to replace you. We may be immortal, but the worlds will not last forever if Entropy is not stopped soon."

"I am immortal, but even I can not bring back souls from the clutches of that dreaded monster," Life whispered softly, a lone silver tear sliding slowly down her pale face. I longed to make her pain go away, this beautiful being that was beyond my understanding. To see her so sad, made me angrier then I had ever been in my life. Death glided to her, placing a comforting hand on her slim shoulder. "We meant to take care of this in our last lifetime, but things did not turn out as planned," she continued eventually, sighing heavily. "Before Serenity's, myself, maturation could be reached, I was killed, and Saturn was never even awakened. Queen Serenity had some inkling of her daughter's power and purpose, but not enough to understand what she must do. It was bad communication all around," she quipped softly, giving a half smile. "In my everyday state, I am only half-aware of what I am, who I am, and my purpose. You don't know how hard it is, as my seventeenth birthday approaches, to keep the veil down. My illusion powers are not enough to keep my true visage hidden yet, and it takes much out of me to do so. Before I became Sailor Moon, the illusion was not up to me. My other half did it naturally. But now that power goes to my transformation and attacks. I do not intentionally fall asleep in class, or trip over air. Before I met you, I had just hit puberty, so of course I was a little off in my balance, but it was intensified when I had to take up my own mask." She looked slightly ashamed of her clumsiness, as though it were something she didn't know how to deal with. Death sighed as well, and looked away.

"The same could be said for Hotaru, my own daily disguise. I am weak and sickly because of the power it took to keep up my face, and what it took to be reborn after Mistress Nine was driven from my body without going through the normal channels. There was no time to pick a suitable woman and take the form of her daughter. I yet feel the affects of that transformation, and the speeding up of my aging. I am rushing towards my own maturation, to keep up with my counterpart," she added, smiling slightly at Life.

"Why do you need us? You are…gods! Divine beings with powers we probably couldn't begin to understand!" Ami cried, surprising us all. Ami couldn't understand something?

"What do you need with regular mortals?" Minako asked softly, looking away from the sight of the twin goddesses. The dark figure of Mamoru at their backs was not lost on me.

"But you see, you aren't regular mortals. You aren't gods, as I'm sure you've realized, but you are descended from them. Each of you is the child or grandchild of one of the nine gods. The Silver Millennium was not only a time for peace throughout the universe, but also when the Gods came down from on high to choose a mortal mate. The Time was near to battle Entropy, and avatars were needed for that battle. Life and Death were too powerful to place in a half or quarter mortal, but the others were willing to bind themselves to the thrones of the planets of this solar system."

"Mercury," Life began, turning to the diminutive bookworm, "You are the granddaughter of the God of Wisdom. He who married the Queen of Mercury many, many years ago." Ami blushed, and I had no trouble accepting that she was the avatar of Wisdom. "Venus," Life paused, looking at the blonde kneeling and looking away from her. "You are the daughter of Emotion, of which Love is the strongest." Minako only nodded, knowing it for the truth. "Mars," she said softly, looking into my eyes. I could feel her gaze caressing my soul, and shivered, the pain in my face fading away. "You are the daughter of Fire, that which creates and maintains all stars." I stood there, feeling the flame inside me that was always there, as a part of me. "Jupiter, you are the granddaughter of Power, Light, Electricity, whichever you may call it. That which keeps the planets on their axis and the thunder in the sky." Makoto grinned slightly, finding the title fitting.

"Uranus," Death said softly, turning to face her kneeling surrogate papa. "You were the son of Wind, now the daughter. Wind that keeps the planets turning, and makes the breeze blow through the trees." Haruka looked slightly taken aback by `the son' comment, but finally nodded. "Neptune, you are the granddaughter of Water, which flows through our bodies and the oceans of Life." She smiled, and the entire gathering shivered imperceptibly.

"What of Pluto, Endymion, and Chibi-Moon?" I asked softly, my brow furrowing. Death answered the first question.

"Pluto, too, is exactly what she seems. The Goddess of Time itself. She, too, is immortal, and will stand forever at the Gates, guarding what should be from what others would have it be. Only in times of dire need has she stepped away."

"And Endymion and your daughter?" Minako asked quietly, watching Life carefully.

"As you are all demigoddesses, Endy is a demigod, that of Nature, Life, a lesser connection of myself. He is my other half," Life said softly, smiling fondly at her lover, who came to stand beside her and take her hand.

"And Chibi-Usa?" Michiru whispered.

"We don't know who she is," Life answered, her eyes dark and bottomless. Endymion, now wearing his impenetrable armor, caressed her cheek. She leaned into his hand, their loving display of affection making me long for my own soul mate, who ever they may be.

"I do," a voice answered, and a figure with a garnet staff stepped from the shadows surrounding the steps of my temple. "She is the personification of Entropy, born from the union of Life and Life, and our enemy."