Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Twinkie Mayhem ❯ The Story ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon…or Twinkies. Inspired by…my box of Twinkies which Sandy (A.K.A. Thor) ate *cry*

Thor: Dun' call me that! My name's SANDRA! Get it right! Plus, my nickname is Thor so use that!!

Vince: … … …okee Sand-Sand. By the way this is not finished yet…

Twinkie Mayhem

Hotaru sat down on the blow-up clear lavender chair that was placed in front of the TV eating Twinkies and watching `I Love Lucy'. She had just unwrapped the first one when a yellow blur ran past her going the speed of light or faster. She looked down at her lap where the box of Twinkies once was, then looked around wondering where the yellow blur had gone, her questions were answered when she saw Usagi a couple feet away eating the Twinkies like a mad woman. Hotaru sweatdropped, "Usagi-hime weren't you on a diet?"

Usagi looked in the now empty box ignoring Hotaru completely she gave a small whine as her eyes became full of tears, a very comical sight. She threw the box down as if it were an evil object, "I curse thee Evil Twinkies!" she cried crazily as she pointed at the box and stood above it menacingly.

Hotaru sweatdropped, "Er…Usagi-hime, I think you're a bit too hyper from the sugar…maybe you should go h-"

She was cut off by Usagi's happy voice, "Nonsense Sataru! Let's go shopping!" She said the word shopping with extra excitement.

Hotaru blinked in surprise, "Usagi-hime …did you just call me `Sataru'??"

She nodded excitedly, "Yup!"

"…" Hotaru looked at Usagi with a raised eyebrow, "Why?" she asked speaking to Usagi as if she were an idiot.

Usagi grinned broadly thinking she was so intelligent, "Cause that's your new name! I dub thee Sataru! Sat for Saturn and taru for Hotaru though I didn't have to say Sat-taru `cuz it would've sounded weird and taru starts with a T and Sat ends with a T!"

Hotaru sat there confused by all the nonsense that was falling from Usagi's mouth, "…Uh…okay. Usagi-hime, was there something besides sugar in those Twinkies? I swear…you're acting as if you're high or something"

"Nonsense Sataru! Now let's go get Michiru and we'll go shopping! And Haruka too! Oh and how about we bring ALONG CHIBI-USA! AND LUNA AND ARTEMIS TOO! …AND DIANA" she went on to list all of the senshi, "AND CHIBI CHIBI, SEIYA, YATEN, MAMO-CHAN, TAIKI, KAKYUU!!" she cried clapping. "WE'LL HAVE SO MUCH FUN!"

Hotaru was now very concerned for Usagi's mental state, "Sure…Usagi…we'll go shopping…all of us besides Chibi Chibi, Yaten, Taiki, Seiya, Kakyuu, or Galaxia…their on a different planet…"

"SO! I'M THE FUTURE QUEEN!! I'M PRINCESS OF THE MOON KINGDOM!!! I DEMAND THAT THEY APPEAR HERE! OR I'LL USE MY MAGICAL MOON POWERS!"

"…Hai Usagi-hime…why are you yelling?" Hotaru asked sweatdropping, `I wonder how long it'll take for the hyperness to wear off…?'

"Hey, what's with all the yelling down here?" Haruka said groggily as she walked in rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, "It's four o'clock in the friggin' morning and I come here to see you and Usagi…Usagi? What are you doing up this early?" Haruka asked staring in disbelief at Usagi who seemed…very happy.

"HARUKA! YOU'RE JUST IN TIME TO GO SHOPPING WITH ME AND SATARU!" Usagi said giggling.

Haruka raised an eyebrow, "Sataru?"

"YEAH! IT'S HOTARU'S NEW NAME! SATUR FOR SATURN AND U FOR HOTARU! OR SAT FOR SATURN AND ARU FOR HOTARU!"

"If it's Satur from Saturn and u for Hotaru wouldn't her name be Saturu?" Haruka pointed out as if it were extremely obvious.

"HUSH YOU! YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF TSUKINO-CHIBA USAGI! FUTURE QUEEN OF CRYSTAL TOKYO! YOUR PRINCESS, LEADER, AND STRONGEST WARRIOR ON EARTH! NOW WE WILL ALL GO SHOPPING!!!!"

"…er…okay. Umm yeah, I'm just going to pretend that I was never here…I'm going back to bed…" Haruka said as she attempted walking back up the stairs.

"NO!" Usagi boomed angrily, she then quieted down and grinned, "You're coming with me and Sataru to go SHOPPING!"

"But Usagi-chan…the shops don't open until eight…" Hotaru said with a sweatdrop.

"Nonsense Sataru! Stop trying to have a boring weekend! You, Uraruka, and me will all go shopping happily!"

"Uraruka??" Haruka asked sweatdropping.

"Yeah! That's your new name! Ura for Uranus and Ruka for Haruka! Aren't I such a smart person? Smarter then Ami-chan, ne?" Usagi said grinning.

"…Um…yeah sure Usagi…" Haruka said now extremely frightened, "I'll be …right back…I'm going to go and change…" she said cautiously then ran upstairs to the safety of her own room, and locked the door.

"You act like you've seen a ghost…" Michiru said amused watching Haruka with a raised eyebrow.

"Not a ghost! A maniac! Usagi's gone crazy! She gave me a new name! She's calling me Uraruka and Hotaru: Sataru! This is horrible! She's like on weed or acid or something! She wants to go shopping!!" Haruka yelled as she leaned against the door.

"Well…shopping is pretty normal…" Michiru said quietly as she wondered what Usagi was acting like.

"At four in the morning!?"

Before Michiru had any time to respond something broke the silence.

"URARUKA!!" Usagi's high-pitched cry disturbed the silence, "COME ON! YOU AND NEPCHIRU! LET'S GOOOOO!"

Michiru very scared now turned to Haruka, "Nepchiru?? At least the door's locked"

"Uraruka!? Uraruka are you ready yet!? I hate waiting!!" Her voice came from the other side of the door.

"Er…I don't think that's gonna hol-OW!"

BANG BANG.

Haruka was pushed very roughly out of her position when the door was thrown to the floor quickly.

Usagi looked around and put down the chair that she had used to bust the door open, "Uraruka?"

Michiru dashed underneath the bed before Usagi could find her. Haruka was very grateful at this point to be hidden underneath the knocked down door. Usagi would never be smart enough to check there.

Usagi walked on top of the door, "Uraruka!! NEPCHIRU!"

Hotaru watched on sadly as a small `oof' emitted from underneath the door, she shook her head `they should just give in and follow Usagi…' she thought sighing a bit, `instead they go through all this trouble…'

Usagi stared at the door amazed, "…It speaks!! I'm so sorry Sir, or Ms. Door! I will put you up right again!" she said humbly though her hyperness was still shining through. She quickly tried to pull the door upright, not noticing that she was still standing on it. Her fight to get the door up lasted a while until poor Haruka, who was trapped and hit repeatedly by the door that kept being lifted up an inch or two then dropped again, finally lost her temper and pushed the door, and Usagi, off…then ran under the bed to hide.

Usagi got up from her place on the floor, she glared at the door threateningly, "How DARE you attack ME when I'm trying to HELP you!? You shall be punished!!"

Hotaru sweatdropped, "Usagi…It was-" before Hotaru could finish Usagi interrupted her.

"Don't defend the door! It did it of its own will! In the name of the Moon I shall punish you," she said glaring at the door. "Later." She finished. "Uraruka? Nepchiruuu? Hm. they're not in here…Uraruka said she was going to come back here and sleep…oh well! Come on Sataru we have the whole house to search!" and with that Usagi dragged Hotaru around every room in the mansion searching for the `lost' senshi of the sky and sea.

Ura- I mean, Haruka gathered up her courage and popped her head out from underneath the bed, "Quick! We must hide!" she whispered frantically.

"That's what we were doing," Michiru's voice whispered from under the bed, "Now get back under here until she's gone!"

"Right!"

"SATARU! I HEARD VOICES OVER HERE!!!" Usagi cried and her footsteps could be heard approaching rapidly.

Haruka gave a small whine as she froze and barely made it back under the bed before Usagi could be seen entering the room across the hall.