Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Watch, As I Waver ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Hi! This is the second installment of my second fic: "Watch as I Waver." Enjoy!


"Watch, As I Waver"

by Beloved

email: beloved914@hotmail.com

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Chapter 1


So, my Mamo-chan had just set out to conquer Harvard, and I was about to start eleventh
grade. It's strange how well I can recall the events of the past two months. Maybe because of how
much each of those events has changed me--how each of them has changed my life.

My first day of school was no exception. That day will be imprinted in my mind for quite
some time...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~^~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First day of school...

As I fixed by hair, I cursed the dark smudges under my eyes. I hadn't gotten nearly enough
sleep. I finished twisting the second bun and looked at my reflection with satisfaction, but there
was still one more thing left to do. I decided to start acting my age this year, or at least more
maturely, so I finally gave in to buying make-up. That's right. I, Tsukino Usagi, was going to wear
make-up. And why not? All of my friends wear make-up, even AMI!

Don't get me wrong, I still prefered a natural look. I just thought I could use a little--
enhancement. So, I had recently gone to the store and purchased pressed powder, blush, brown eyeliner
(I don't like mascara, so this was my substitute), a pale eye shadow, and a natural toned pink lipstick.
I figure, it's enough, but not too much.

The make-up was easy enough to apply--well, all except the eyeliner. That took me quite a while
to get the hang of. And once I was finished, I must say I didn't look too bad.

"Usagi! You're going to be late for school!" my mother called up, bringing me out of my stupor.

I scattered down the steps hurriedly. After grabbing my book bag and lunch, I ran off to school.
I anticipated my usual collision with Mamo-chan, forgetting he was gone. My pace slowed as I neared
school thinking of my love.

As I entered the courtyard, I searched for a familiar face. Ami was most likely already in class studying.
Where Makoto and Minako were though, I had no idea.

"Hey, Usagi-chan!" a cheery voice called to me.

I turned toward the voice and smiled broadly. "Naru! How are you?"

"I'm good. I haven't seen you around lately."

I smiled guiltily. "I know. I'm sorry we haven't been spending much time together. I've just been so
busy..."

"Yeah, Usagi-chan. I know," she said, looking away.

"Naru..." I said weakly.

"USAGI!!!"

I winced at the shrill voice screaming my name. "Minako! What is it?!" I asked both angrily and
worriedly.

"LIGHTS...SCHOOL...SCHOOL...HERE...TODAAAAAYYY! !!"

"Minako-chan, CALM down," I said. Trying to contain my laughter. I watched as she took several deep
breaths, then she looked at me seriously.

"Usagi-chan, I was trying to tell you that the Three Light are starting school HERE TODAAAY!!!" she
finished, screaming. I rolled my eyes, while Naru joined Minako in her screaming fit.

Then, suddenly, I had a realization. And yes, I DO know what 'realization' means. If the three lights
were coming to school here, then so was that jackass I met yesterday.

"Minako, are ALL of the Lights going to school here?"

"Oh, Usagi! Yes, ALL of the Lights will be here, so take your pick, girl! I call Yaten!" she screamed

enthusiastically.

"Minako! I HAVE a boyfriend!" I scolded her. "Besides, I was just wondering if that obnoxious Kou Seiya
was going to come here."

"Usagi!" Minako now scolded. "How can you say that about one of the dreamiest men alive!?"

"Yes, Odango. How can you?" a new voice asked.

I knew who it was, and Minako's hanging jaw only confirmed it.

"I don't think I was talking to you, Seiya. And DON"T call me Odango!" I said, turning my nose up
at him.

"So this is how it's going to be between us, Odango?" he asked, noticing my scowl at the use of the
dreadful nickname. "Oh...so you're still upset about my name for you? I thought I explained why it
fits you so perfectly." He teased, pulling playfully at one of my pigtails.

Unbelievably, I blushed! I was so angry with myself for letting him get to me!

"See, I knew you liked it," he teased again. "I'll see you later, Odango."

I clenched my fists angrily as he walked away. "That creep..." I muttered.

"My names Minako!" Minako yelled, waving futilely after Seiya was out of sight. I shook my head at
her and rolled my eyes.

"So you finally found you voice?" I taunted her. "Ya know, I coulda used some help there!"

"Usagi, this is HUGE!" she yelled, grabbing my arm.

"What?" I asked her, confused.

"He is totally into you!"

"WHAT?!" I screamed. "You've got to be kidding!"

"Usagi-chan! Are you that dense? He definitely likes you!" she reprimanded.

"Yeah, Usagi-chan. He WAS flirting with you," Naru added.

"You're both crazy and we have to get to class," I declared, grabbing them each by an arm and dragging
them behind me.

'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`

You'd think that once in class, I would have escaped any further encounters with Kou Seiya that day,
but someone in the heavens doesn't seem to like me.

Minako, Naru, and I found our new classroom and entered it excitedly. I spotted Ami and Makoto
immediately, and we walked over to join them.

"Hey, guys!" I chirped.

"What's up Usagi-chan?" Makoto said smiling.

"Hi, Usagi. When did you get here?" Ami asked.

"Just a little while ago," I replied as my attention traveled from Ami to the back of the classroom.
There was a large group of girls huddled around a desk. I looked around the rest of the classroom and
noticed that the boys were all seated, but were eyeing the back of the classroom curiously.

"One of them must be in our class..." I muttered to myself.

"Hmm?" Makoto questioned, hearing my mumbling "Oh, yeah. Seiya is in OUR class. How amazing is that?!"

"Not very," responded grimly.

The girls began to scuttle around the desk, and Seiya soon emerged from the group. He spotted me almost
instantly and smiled cockily. I turned my head quickly and sat in the desk I was standing next to. I
heard someone slide into the desk behind me, followed by, "Pretending you don't know me, Odango?"

I spun around angrily in my desk, "I know you don't seem to care, but I do have a name."

"And what would that be?" he asked with a small laugh.

"Usagi," I told him quietly.

"It's a beautiful name," he said, causing me to blush once more, "but I still like Odango better."

I scowled at him angrily and turned my back on him. 'Why, of all the nerve...' I muttered mentally. Then
I stiffened slightly as I felt two hands fall upon my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Usagi," Seiya whispered into my ear, and I felt a chill run down my spine. He removed his
hands and sat back in his chair while I remained facing forward and unable to stop the strange smile that
was forming on my lips.

I peeked back over my shoulder at him, and he smiled at me brightly. Surprisingly, I simply smiled back
and then returned my attention toward the front of the classroom.

"So, Usagi-chan, where were you yesterday? I called you like seven times!" Minako whined.

"I had to take Mamo-chan to the airport," I told her looking down at my hands.

"Oh, Usagi-chan. I forgot," Minako said compassionately. "And he didn't even say good-bye to any of us!"
she then shouted, suddenly outraged. "Hey, Ami-chan, Mako-chan, did you know that Mamoru left yesterday!?"

The two girls walked over to my desk. "That's right," Ami said thoughtfully. "How are you holding up,
Usagi-chan?"

"I'm okay," I said trying to smile.

"Who's Mamoru?" a voice a asked from behind me.

Minako jumped at the chance to talk to Seiya. "Oh, he's Usagi's boyfriend, and they're way serious."

"Boyfriend?" he asked me, sounded somewhat defeated.

"Yes. He left yesterday to attend college in America," I informed him quietly.

"Wow. You know, America's awfully far."

"Just what are you implying?" I asked him accusingly.

"It's just that long distance relationships don't usually last," he finished.

I felt close to tears when Makoto broke into the conversation. "Usagi and Mamoru can get through anything,
though. Hell, after all they've been through, this should be a breeze!"

I smiled at her appreciatively, and she smiled back knowingly. Our bonding was interrupted, however, by
Ami asking, "Usagi, what is that?!"

"What?" Minako asked innocently.

"THAT!" Ami yelled pointing at my hand.

"OH MY GOD!!! Usagi! Did he ask you to MARRY him!?!?!?" Minako screamed.

"WHAT? When!?" Makoto yelled.

Minako roughly grabbed my arm, forcing my hand into the air. "LOOK!!" she yelled.

My friends were causing a MAJOR scene, which was incredibly humiliating.

"GUYS!" I yelled back at them. "Calm down! You're embarrassing me!" I finished, wailing.

"You're engaged?!" Seiya asked from behind me.

I smiled at him uncomfortably. "Uhh, yup."

"Wow! I'm sooo happy for you, Usagi-chan!" Minako bellowed. "We're going to have a wedding!!" She yelled,
then threw her hand in the air. "I call maid of honor!"

"Minako-chan! You can't just 'CALL' maid of honor!" Makoto reprimanded. "Besides, everyone knows that I'LL
be Usagi-chan's maid of honor!"

I put my head down on my desk, mortified at the commotion they were causing. My friends were definitely
one of a kind.

`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'

After meeting my new sensei and a LONG day of classes, I was more than ready to go home. I had not expected
the girls to react to my engagement the way they did, that's for sure! I was going to meet them later at the
temple to celebrate and to tell Rei the happy news. Thinking of how supportive they were all being, I sighed
contentedly.

"You know, you could have told me," a voice interrupted my walk home.

"Excuse me?" I asked, turning to face Seiya.

"You could have told me that you were engaged," he said seriously.

I looked at him strangely, "I didn't know I was obligated."

"Well it was obvious I was interested in you, so you could have at least told me so I could stop making a
fool of myself," he huffed.

"You're--interested, in me?" I asked blushing.

"Well, I WAS. No use wasting my time now, though..." he said coldly.

"Hey! That's a really rude thing to say, and just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean we can't still
be friends!" I yelled angrily.

"Friends?" he asked me, seemingly surprised.

"Sure. Why not?"

He smiled slowly, "Okay then, FRIEND, why don't you show me what's fun around here?"

I rolled my eyes good-naturedly and turned to start walking again. "Fine. Why don't we start with the
Crown Arcade and Parlor? You can buy me a milkshake."

"Oh, can I? Thank you, your highness, for bestowing that great honor upon me," he drawled, and I smiled
secretly at the irony of the statement.

"Any time," I answered giggling.

`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`

We entered the Crown, greeted by the chatter of teenagers and the clinking of dishes. I glanced
around, searching for a booth.

"Aha!" I cheered triumphantly. "I spotted one," I finished, dragging him to the empty booth. Just as we
were about to sit down, though, the girls in the arcade spotted US. Well, more accurately, they spotted
Seiya.

"OH MY GOD!!!" one girl screamed, "It's Kou Seiya!!!!!" This was followed a chorus of screams from the
rest of the female population in the arcade. I sank back in the booth as they crowded around our table.

"So, Seiya," one of the 'groupies' started, "how do you like Juuban so far?"

"I like it," he said nodding. Then he looked toward me and added, "A lot."

Then Umi, a girl from my class, turned to talk to me. "Jeez, Usagi! I see you're keeping Seiya all to
yourself! Save some for us! Besides, you already have a boyfriend. And a gorgeous one to boot!" she huffed.

"Uh...sorry, Umi," I said nervously to the angry girl. "Seiya and I are just friends, so he's fair game
for you," I finished, smiling mischievously at Seiya.

Seiya swallowed uneasily, "Now, now, Usagi. You know I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now. Sorry
girls," he finished turning to his fan club. This was followed by a unanimous expression of "awww's" and
"boo-hoo's" and I felt the need to roll my eyes.

"Now, if you girls don't mind," he went on, "I would like to have an ice cream with my friend."

Gradually, the crowd diminished until Seiya and I were left alone. I began to nervously tear apart
a paper napkin that was on our table. What were we supposed to do now? An awkward silence fell between us.

"So..." I began uncomfortably, "why did you and your brothers decide to move to Juuban?"

"Well, we had never really had any formal schooling besides that of tutors. And, personally, I wanted to
see what it was like to attend school like a NORMAL teenager," he replied. "I kind of felt like I was
missing out, you know? We were taking a break from touring anyway, so I figured, 'why not.' This gives me
a chance to relax, meet new people, and learn all at the same time," he finished thoughtfully.

"Well, that's understandable, but why Juuban of all places?" I inquired.

He looked at me a moment before responding, "I don't know, Usagi-chan. I guess I just felt drawn here,"
he said smiling at me. "Besides, my brothers and I have always loved Tokyo, and Juuban is such a nice
area."

"Yes, it is," I replied before looking around the arcade absently. Then, I looked back at Seiya and smiled
playfully, "So, are you going to buy me a milkshake or what?"

"Yeah, yeah. Waiter," he called, signaling Motoki to come over to our table.

"What can I get you?" Motoki asked automatically, not noticing my presence.

"Well, I'll have a small vanilla ice cream, and the lady would like a large chocolate shake," Seiya
finished gesturing to me.

Motoki glance up from his note pad and realized I was there. "Oh, Usagi-chan! I didn't even see you there!"
he said sheepishly. "How are you?"

"I'm good, Motoki-san. You?" I asked smiling.

"Oh, me? I'm great. Did you see Mamoru-kun off yesterday?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah. He should be unpacking as we speak..." I said trying to hold my smile. Motoki must have noticed my
change in attitude, as he put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm sure he is unpacking-and thinking about how much he misses his girlfriend," he said smiling.

I smiled gratefully at him, then turned to Seiya. "Actually, Seiya, could we do this some other time. I'm
not feeling all that well."

"Oh. Sure, Usagi," I heard him reply.

I didn't take the time to look at his expression, as I got up instantly and left the arcade. I
quickened my pace as I neared my home, wanting nothing more than too crawl into my bed and cry myself to
sleep. A strong gust of wind blew past me, blowing back my hair forcefully. I shivered from the cool air
and wrapped my arms around myself. Looking up at the sky, I could see the storm clouds that were quickly
approaching and I decided to run the remaining three blocks to my house.

As I reached my front walkway there was a sudden downpour, and the sheets of rain instantly soaked
me. I fumbled with my book bag while trying to dig my house key out from within. Some seconds later, I
clumsily forced the key into the keyhole and rushed into the house. I peeled off my now-soaked shoes and
socks and ran up the stairs and into the bathroom. As I began to take off my wet clothes I turned on the
shower faucet. I took out the hairpins holding up my odangos and ran a quick comb through my hair before
stepping into the shower.

I let the hot water pour over me and closed my eyes. I felt the tears I'd been holding in begin to
seep out from beneath my closed lids. I let out a shuddering breath before hastily wiping my tears away.
Inhaling slowly and deeply, I put my chin up and sucked back any sadness I'd been feeling. I slowly opened
my eyes, and shortly after, the first sob escaped my lips. This was followed by a second, then a third, and
so on...



To be completely honest, I didn't fully understand why I was so upset at that moment. I mean, of course I
missed Mamoru, but it wasn't like we weren't going to be together again in the spring. I knew we were, or
at least I thought we were. At least I think I thought we were...Maybe that's why I was so scared. Everything
felt so uncertain. But it seemed so crazy to feel that way. Mamoru had just proposed the day before! So, in
a way, it was like everything was finally set in stone. Wasn't it?



After I had gotten a good amount of crying out of my system, I dried off and wrapped myself in my robe.
Before leaving the bathroom, I went over to the sink and splashed some cold water on my face. I glance at
my reflection briefly and took note of how red my eyes were. I just groaned and made my way to my bedroom.
After entering, I closed the door behind me and slumped against it.

"Usagi-chan? Are you alright?"

Startled, I quickly straightened my stance. "Oh, Luna," I began with a sigh, "you scared me. I'm fine," I
lied, not looking her in her feline eyes.

Luna furrowed her crescent-moon-spotted brow. "Are you sure?" she prodded.

"Yes, Luna!" I said irately. "I-I'm just...tired!" I finished with a huff.

Sensing it was time to back off, Luna simply said, "Alright, Usagi. But if you need to talk..." and then
padded her way out of the room.

After Luna was gone, I took a long, hard look at my bed. It was so tempting at that moment, but I
decided to ignore my desire for unconsciousness. Instead, I walked over to my desk, feet dragging, and sat
down. I stared at the blank piece of paper for close to fifteen minutes before I started writing. I wanted
to tell him so much of what I was feeling, but I had to be careful of what I wrote and how I wrote it. I
didn't want to make things harder for Mamoru. It had been difficult enough for him to decide to leave.

Forty-five minutes later, I finally finished the letter:

** Dear Mamo-chan,
I can't believe you've only been gone for a day. It feels like so much longer...I hope your flight was
comfortable. How long did it take you to get to the airport in Boston? Not too long, I hope. This is hard for
me, to write to you like this. I'm not sure what I should say. It's so much easier to just talk in person...
Have you met any friends yet, or do you have a roommate? I'd imagine it'd be strange for you to live
with someone after you've lived alone for so long, but it could be good for you. I miss you. I know you just
left, but I do miss you already. I can't wait to see you again. Remember that I love you always, and don't
study too hard. Write back soon.
Forever Yours,
Usako **

I folded the letter neatly and put it in an envelope. I then carefully wrote the address that Mamoru
had left me on the envelope as tidily as I could. I stared at the address blankly. He was so far away...

Suddenly, an obnoxious beeping sound pulled me from my thoughts. I pulled my communicator out from my
book bag and answered it.

"Usagi here."

"Usagi-chan!" a shrill voice yelled angrily. "I thought you were coming over!" Rei demanded.

"Sorry, Rei-chan. I'm not feeling well," I said quietly.

Her eyes softened on the small screen. "Well," she began, trying to sound gruff, "you should have called to
let us know you weren't coming. You had me, I mean, US worried."

"Sorry, Rei," I smiled at her. "I'll stop by after school tomorrow."

"Oh, alright. Just make sure you show up!" she yelled just before signing off.

I set my communicator down slowly and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them again, they immediately
fixed themselves upon my bed. I groggily walked over and practically collapsed upon my mattress. Lazily,
I pulled the covers over myself, and began to drift to sleep. I need nothing more at that moment than to
forget my distress in the unconsciousness of slumber. So I did.

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Well, that's it for now! The next chapter will hopefully be done soon. Thanks for reading!