SD Gundam Fan Fiction ❯ End of the World ❯ Daisy ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: May-VeggieGirl1 
Baku tries to melt Zero's heart!
Anime/Manga: SD Gundam Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Mystery / Occult / Psychological / Romance / Thriller / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.12.2004 | Updated On: 04.12.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 535 | Status: Completed
Baku tries to melt Zero's heart!
Anime/Manga: SD Gundam Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Mystery / Occult / Psychological / Romance / Thriller / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.12.2004 | Updated On: 04.12.2004 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 535 | Status: Completed
End of the World
By: May-VeggieGirl1
Yes, tis the second chapter and (maybe) the last! Only you decide! ^~ Tell me in a review if I should continue. Than ku! ^_^ The song is short and a little different from this version, but you know. *shrudges* There's only three verses, no chorus, yet it still lasts for 4:38! -.-; w/e.
~*~*~*~*~*
A few months had passed from when Zero was kidnapped and I was...well, you know. It was actually our anniversary with the SDG force- Zero, Shute, and me that is. Everyone was having a blast, it was sorta like having a birthday party. Zero stayed out from most of it, he just hung outside the base. I wanted to go get him into the party too, but everyone else just said, 'forget it- he's not very social'.
Like I cared.
After 8, Shute had to go home because of school the next day. Even if it was the last week in school, Keiko wouldn't tolerate cutting a single day. After he left they brought out the alcohol. Typically it was Guneagle who even thought of such a thing.
"Oh come on! I know we shouldn't have the party without Shute, but we can't have him drinking this, neh?" How could Haro agree with this was beyond me.
I didn't argue because I found this as an opportunity.
"Hey Zero..." Zero was leaning against a tree, staring at the stars. He looked over at me.
"Hello." He looked back up at the stars again. "Nice night to be outside." I nodded. It was nice, even though it was a little humid. Fireflies were flying around and leaving a beautiful essence to the air. I handed some 'punch' to Zero.
"I always thought fireflies were stars that lost their way home when I was little." Zero chuckled and sipped his punch.
"How naive. You certainly had an imagination as a child."
"Well then, what did you think they were?"
"Bugs." I sweat dropped and shook my head.
"You lived a deprived life..."
"Deprived from what?"
"Exactly."
"..." I laughed at Zero who was really confused now. "...Whatever." I sighed as he finished off his glass of punch and played with his cup. "...Do you think I could have some more? I haven't really had anything to eat or drink all day." I took his cup and smiled.
"Sure! No problem, I'll get some for you!" I hurried off to get some more 'punch'.
Zero was sitting on the ground when I came back. I joined him and decided to drink some 'punch' too.
"...Why are we holding a party?"
"Because-"
"I know why were having it, but don't we have more important things to do?! I know I do, and this isn't helping it in any way..." I scratched the back of my head.
"Well...I don't really have anything to do, but Bell Wood should be doing his work!" I humphed and crossed my arms with anger and frustration. A whole year and he STILL hasn't fixed it?!
"That really doesn't matter to me. I need to find Fenn and undo the petrifaction." I tried hard not to show the hurt. So he doesn't care if I'm worried or lonely at times here?
"Oh..." I looked down so he wouldn't see that I was hurt. Some how he got the clue.
"I-I...Baku, I didn't mean it that way, alright? I care ..." My smiled widened far, feeling loved. "...but certainly not as much as I care for Fenn and Lacroa..." My features saddened a bit again, hearing he cared more for the ball of fluff than what I felt. But it got me to thinking, 'do I care for Zero more than Ark now?'
That's a hard question.
I care so deeply for Zero...I'd jump off the highest mountain for him...
But then again, if it that would save Ark, I'd jump off the mountain also.
Perhaps a better question is if I could save Ark by jumping off a mountain, and Zero told me not to jump off the mountain, would I?
I continued to ponder all of these possibilities. Zero, who noticed our conversation ended there, snuggled closer to me and huffed. My thoughts were temporarily put aside as I noted this new situation. Zero was...snuggling with me...
A new form of unspeakable joy was formed, as I struggled to contain this bliss. He leaned his head against my shoulder guard.
"I feel woozy..." Actually so did I, but not from the thought of him snuggling with me. Hey, that is what alcohol does.
A few cups of spiked punch later...
We were having a blast. Laughing and joking around, even if I knew we would have splitting headaches in the morning. I proceeded in tickling Zero until he cried uncle. I giggled as he tried to catch his breath from laughing so hard. I've never had so much fun with him! I should spike our drinks more often. I laid down next to Zero while continuing to giggle.
"What's so funny?" I only laughed harder. "Oh come on, tell me!!"
"It's a secret!"
"I like secrets!"
"I can't tell you though cause it's a secret!"
"I won't tell!"
"It's a secret from you!"
"Please???" Zero gave me puppy dog eyes which made me giggle again. "Come on..."
"Okay I guess...I like you."
"That's it?"
"I like you-like you!"
"Ooohhh...well, I like you-like you too!" I sat up hopefully.
"R...Really?!"
"Really-really."
"Really really-really?"
"Mmmhhmmm!"
"..." I was speechless. I had no idea! He likes me the same way I like him! "...well, does that mean you love me?" Zero thought for a moment. It felt like forever to wait for his answer.
"Yeah." I felt like jumping up and down like a cheerleader. He loves me! He loves me! Filled with excitement, I kissed him merrily. Then he kissed me back. Oh glorious day! My crush loves me too! I hugged him very tightly as we continued to kiss each other.
Yes he did love me! I could feel it!
We eventually pulled back. I stroked his head tenderly. I went to kiss him again, but he placed a finger on my lips.
"I'm really tired...I'm going to go to sleep..." I wanted to continue, but he did look tired.
"Alright...we'll continue tomorrow, right?" He nodded and yawned sleepily then rolled over to sleep. I took out one of my daisies and hugged it against my chest.
"He loves me..."
The second I opened my eyes I immediately regretted it and closed them. The stupid sun was beaming down brilliantly on the morning I had the migraine of a lifetime. The light caused the pounding to double as I held my head to stop the spiraling sensation.
"Ugh...nhmmm..." Sounded like Zero wasn't handling this situation so gracefully either. But not even this pain could stop me from feeling happy from last night. "Baku...what the hell did you do to me...?"
"Uh...spike your drink and get drunk with you?" I shielded my eyes and looked over at Zero glaring at me.
"I'll kill you tomorrow..." I chuckled and scooted closer to him.
"...What are you doing?"
"Lying next to you."
"There's something called personal space." I nuzzled my head in his arm.
"Could you define it and use it in a sentence?"
"No, that's not funny Baku. Really." I smiled.
"Really-really!"
"...If your still drunk, I'm gonna smack you upside the head..."
"Naw...but I probably had less to drink than you..." I paused. "...Your trashed."
"Thanks for noticing..." He planted his face into the ground.
"Oh come off it. Didn't you have fun?"
"Fun at what?! I don't remember much..." I began to fear the worst suddenly.
"...Do you remember what I told you...?"
"No..." I crossed my fingers.
"...How about what you told me...?"
"What did I tell you?!" Zero said in an afraid to know tone. My heart sank. To tell you the truth, I did not want to tell him how I felt for a second time.
"So you don't remember anything we did last night...?"
"Up until we were drunk...what did I say??" Zero sat up and shook me a little. I solemnly shook my head and then decided to tell him all over again.
"I told you that I...like you-like you..." Zero sat there and stared at me.
"...Your still drunk I see. Here-" No! I won't take this sitting down! He reached out for my hand but I snatched it away and sat up also.
"No Zero! I am not drunk! I meant it- that's what I told you and I still mean it now!"
"...Your even more drunk than I thought you were."
"Stop it Zero! You said you liked me the same way last night!" Is he denying our love? I could feel his soul put into that kiss, he did mean it! He DID mean it! True love is real! True love IS real!
"Well you know what Baku? I was drunk out of my mind last night, just like you are now-"
"I am not drunk!" I was becoming angry quickly, which wasn't helping my headache. I felt nauseous arguing with Zero like this. "Why can't you believe me??"
"Because what your saying is absurd! I don't love you and never will!" My mouth went dry and it felt like someone ripped out my heart then shipped it on the Titanic. I stared at him for a moment, feeling the blood drain from my face. "...Baku?"
The ground came up to meet me.
My eyes fluttered open to those damn curtains again. I'm in my room? Was it all a nightmare? Yes, a horrible nightmare! I didn't get raped, Zero never was kidnapped and we never got drunk! It's just another day at the base...
I swallowed hard. My stomach kept lurching and I couldn't manage to keep it down for long.
A dream? Could answers be so simple?
I wasn't sure of anything.
Except that I felt horrible.
Guneagle came into my room holding a bowl of water. When he realized I was awake, he paused.
"It's good to see you up. I would never had imagined both you and Zero getting drunk! He said you both woke up and then you passed out. He also said you were delirious."
So...it's true...Zero hates me...? I laid there as my heart crumbled into sand. How could he? My stomach took another leap, I held it down and groaned. "Heh, sucks for you. But we can't tell Shute that we partied without him, he'd be jealous. We simply told him you were sick and Zero wasn't feeling well either..." He blinked. "Wait, if your delirious, do you see me as me? Or some weird creature like thing?"
"You are a weird creature like thing, Guneagle..."
"Real funny. Well, I hope ya' feel better." He placed the bowl of water on the nightstand by my bed and left. I have never felt so miserable. Why is Zero doing this?! Why can't his heart tell his mind the truth?!? Why does the person you love the most hurt the the worst? I can't...please Zero, don't leave me standed...I need you...
I sat up and hugged my knees against my chest. He's taken things from me. Now he's gonna leave with my affection? "There's nothing left worth for you to take, Zero...If you must abandon me, at least let me rot in peace..." I sniffed and tried to force back the tears that were forming. I picked out a daisy from the vase Captain gave me and began to pluck off petals. "He loves me......he loves me not..." I continued doing this to the last petals remaining on the daisies head.
He loves me not...
Why must you not lie, daisies?! The truth is so painful, even if Zero pretended to like me, I'd be fine...
Am I just a burden to him? Is that why he hates me??
True love...isn't real...?
I felt the cool salty water roll down my cheek. I flopped over and buried my head in my pillow.
"Baku?" The door began to open. I quickly grabbed the bowl of water and dumped it on my head. Zero came into the room and looked at me, soaked in water. "...What are you doing?"
"I spilled the water..." I didn't want Zero to think I was weak. I didn't want him to see me cry, so I hid my tears in the water.
"Well...it looks like your feeling better."
"Whatever you want to tell yourself Zero..."
"What?" I looked away and let the macabre filled me. One of the few times I didn't want to see him. "...you still look ghastly though."
"...Has it ever passed your mind that I don't care what I look like...?"
"What's the sudden attitude about?"
"...Just shut up and leave me alone..." I turned my back to him and stared at the gaudy curtains.
"This is about the whole love thing, isn't it?"
"What the hell do you think?!"
"Just because I don't love you doesn't mean the world is ending-"
"Yes it is...it ends my world..."
"Baku, stop that."
"If everything else around me tells the truth to hurt me, why can't I tell the truth! You...you thief !!"
"Thief?!? What are you talking about?"
"What are you going to steal from me next-my soul? Then you can take my life to make a complete set of taking everything from me-" Zero grabbed me by the shoulders from behind and forced me to face him.
"Baku, I would never hurt you-"
"You already have!! And more than one way! Everything you say contradicts what you do!"
"...Bakunetsumaru, your the one who's hurting yourself. I would never take your life..."
"But you took other things away from me without even meaning to..." I tore away from him and stood up to walk over to the window. I could feel the tears come back again. Is this a never ending circle of torture and pain? Am I forbidden to be happy ever again?
"Like what!?"
"My heart, my spirit, my virginity!!" I rested my head against the cold glass and watched the sun by blocked by some clouds. My head felt hot compared to the window, a cold front must have came in.
"Your...virginity?" I froze. Did I just say that out loud?? "What do you mean by that?? Did we...do that while I was drunk?!?"
"N...No...not then..." I sniffed and held my chest protectively. Another tug at my heart.
"When then???" I didn't answer. I didn't want anyone to know. I thought no one needed to know because I had it all under control.
Plus I didn't want Zero to be exiled. It really wasn't his fault-and I know that. But it happened and there isn't turning back. I couldn't stand it if Zero was exiled! But he puts me through so much pain when I'm with him...
It's a lose-lose situation. I'm in unspeakable pain with him, and unspeakable pain without him. I'm always in pain.
"Baku answer me!"
"Just forget it okay?"
"No, I won't. I want to know what your talking about, and I'll stand here until you do!" I clenched my eyes and trembled.
"...You know that clone puppet thing Tallgeese had...?"
"Was it a clone? I killed it when you left. It didn't have a soul."
"Yeah, I know. Tallgeese created that to give him 'pleasure' until he got you. Once he got you, he tried to abandon the puppet."
"So?"
"I...I-It...raped me..." I could feel Zero's stare and shock, even though I wasn't facing him. "You...raped me..."
"Oh mana..."
"Don't tell anyone! I didn't even mean to tell you...it just slipped..." Zero came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Baku...I-"
"Can you please go away now?!?" I felt Zero's hand leave my shoulder and heard him walk away. The moment he left I broke down into a fit of sobs.
Each time I feel that it couldn't get any worse, it does . I can't take this anymore...
I looked down out the window. It was a far ways down. It was perfect.
Zero took everything from me anyway. I'm sure Captain, Shute, Guneagle, and Gunbike could take care of Entengo. That is my only regret; she doesn't deserve this.
But neither did I right? I searched threw the clouds cloaking the base for the ground. The horizon stretched out much father from up here. I'm only a step away. I bet master and Kujakumaru and screaming at me right now.
I brought my daisies with me. At least they never hurt me. Oh well, here goes nothing... I took that one step that seals my fate.
I really didn't want to do this...
But I can't stand the pain I'm being put through.
I don't care if you think it's the cowards way out.
Because I don't care what you think of me.
I don't even care what I think of me.
Anything to end this now.
The wind rushing all around me. It almost feels like I'm free. I'm free to die in peace.
What's this? I've stopped?? But how? I look behind me and cry out "Why?!?"
Zero had saved me. He floated the rest of the way down as I began to cry again. But I don't care what he thinks or says this time. I gave up caring so he wouldn't take that from me also. Zero gently landed on the grass and set me down.
"Now what...Are you going to take away my right to die peacefully too?!?" I choked out. "What more do you want...?" He kneeled down and placed his hand on my head. I looked at the ground and watched my tears be absorbed by the soil. When I began to calm down and breath normally, he pulled me close to his chest and hugged me. I sat there bewildered. Did he...I forced myself not to use that word, fearing that if I did, I would lose it. Yes, I think he did! I let the water welding in my eyes dry and buried my head in his chest. "Oh Zero..."
"Shhh. It's okay...Everything's alright..." He rubbed my back with the hand that previously was resting a top my head.
"Zero...do you...?"
"Yes, I believe I do..." His cerulean eyes met with my hazel. "I couldn't see it earlier..." He hugged me tighter. "...But I do." I hugged him back.
"Good...and if your just saying this to prevent me from-"
"No, no. I never meant to play with your heart earlier...and I'm forever in your debt for those things I did..."
"I always did forgive you...it was just it continued to show up and pull me down and down...Every time I stood." Zero took my hands and helped me to my feet.
"True loves course never did run smooth...but so help God if any drop of passion that runs in lover's veins be lost in turmoil." He gazed into my eyes as I felt my cheeks turn red. "And I certainly do not need to be sober to tell you that." He led me to start walking so I did so.
"That was beautiful Zero..." I spotted my daisy I was carrying with me on the ground and I picked it up. "...What unveiled the truth anyway?"
"Well, I felt horrible after what you told me. But I realized something, you must truly love me with every fiber of your being. You loved me even when you thought I raped you, even when I broke your heart. I could tell you would always love me if you could go through that...So I did a little soul searching and it told me to find you. While I was flying after you, I was so worried that I would lose you. I was afraid to lose you...and your more than a friend to me now..." I giggled and jogged off ahead. Zero flew to catch up with me.
"We started off bad, why don't we try again?"
"Um...alright."
"Hello, I'm Bakunetsumaru, but you can call me Baku for short. Cheese is my favorite food."
"Do we have to start over from the begining-begining?"
"Oh come on. Introduce yourself!"
"Alright. I'm Zero and I use magic a lot. For you." Instead of creating the typical rose, Zero made a blue daisy for me. I took the flower and gazed at it.
"It's beautiful Zero!" I took his hand and continued to walk with him. "I love daisies...
"...but above all, I love you."
Until The End of World by U2
Haven't seen you in quite a while
I was down the hold, just passing time
Last night we met in a low-lit room
We were as close together as a bride and groom
We ate the food, we drank the wine
Everybody having a good time
Except you
You were talking about the end of the world
I took the money, I spiked your drink
You miss too much these days if you stop to think
You lead me on with those innocent eyes
And you know I love the element of surprise
In the garden I was playing the tart
I kissed your lips and broke your heart
You, you were acting like it was the end of the world
In my dream I was drowning my sorrows
But my sorrows they learned to swim
Surrounding me, going down on me
Spilling over the brim
In waves of regret, waves of joy
I reached out for the one I tried to destroy
You, you said you'd wait until the end of the world
~*~*~*~*~*
...1...2...3-Awwww.... That's a cute ending, neh? Those who are REALLY dense (cough Kai cough) and don't know who Kujakumaru is, it's Ashu's original name. (get's hit with shoe) Ow...yes the truth hurts. (another shoe flies my way but I duck) HAH! (can-opener nails me on the head) X.x Ouuuuch...yeah, Zero realizes his love a little quickly. I think last chapter went better. Oh well, what can you do.
By: May-VeggieGirl1
Yes, tis the second chapter and (maybe) the last! Only you decide! ^~ Tell me in a review if I should continue. Than ku! ^_^ The song is short and a little different from this version, but you know. *shrudges* There's only three verses, no chorus, yet it still lasts for 4:38! -.-; w/e.
~*~*~*~*~*
A few months had passed from when Zero was kidnapped and I was...well, you know. It was actually our anniversary with the SDG force- Zero, Shute, and me that is. Everyone was having a blast, it was sorta like having a birthday party. Zero stayed out from most of it, he just hung outside the base. I wanted to go get him into the party too, but everyone else just said, 'forget it- he's not very social'.
Like I cared.
After 8, Shute had to go home because of school the next day. Even if it was the last week in school, Keiko wouldn't tolerate cutting a single day. After he left they brought out the alcohol. Typically it was Guneagle who even thought of such a thing.
"Oh come on! I know we shouldn't have the party without Shute, but we can't have him drinking this, neh?" How could Haro agree with this was beyond me.
I didn't argue because I found this as an opportunity.
"Hey Zero..." Zero was leaning against a tree, staring at the stars. He looked over at me.
"Hello." He looked back up at the stars again. "Nice night to be outside." I nodded. It was nice, even though it was a little humid. Fireflies were flying around and leaving a beautiful essence to the air. I handed some 'punch' to Zero.
"I always thought fireflies were stars that lost their way home when I was little." Zero chuckled and sipped his punch.
"How naive. You certainly had an imagination as a child."
"Well then, what did you think they were?"
"Bugs." I sweat dropped and shook my head.
"You lived a deprived life..."
"Deprived from what?"
"Exactly."
"..." I laughed at Zero who was really confused now. "...Whatever." I sighed as he finished off his glass of punch and played with his cup. "...Do you think I could have some more? I haven't really had anything to eat or drink all day." I took his cup and smiled.
"Sure! No problem, I'll get some for you!" I hurried off to get some more 'punch'.
Zero was sitting on the ground when I came back. I joined him and decided to drink some 'punch' too.
"...Why are we holding a party?"
"Because-"
"I know why were having it, but don't we have more important things to do?! I know I do, and this isn't helping it in any way..." I scratched the back of my head.
"Well...I don't really have anything to do, but Bell Wood should be doing his work!" I humphed and crossed my arms with anger and frustration. A whole year and he STILL hasn't fixed it?!
"That really doesn't matter to me. I need to find Fenn and undo the petrifaction." I tried hard not to show the hurt. So he doesn't care if I'm worried or lonely at times here?
"Oh..." I looked down so he wouldn't see that I was hurt. Some how he got the clue.
"I-I...Baku, I didn't mean it that way, alright? I care ..." My smiled widened far, feeling loved. "...but certainly not as much as I care for Fenn and Lacroa..." My features saddened a bit again, hearing he cared more for the ball of fluff than what I felt. But it got me to thinking, 'do I care for Zero more than Ark now?'
That's a hard question.
I care so deeply for Zero...I'd jump off the highest mountain for him...
But then again, if it that would save Ark, I'd jump off the mountain also.
Perhaps a better question is if I could save Ark by jumping off a mountain, and Zero told me not to jump off the mountain, would I?
I continued to ponder all of these possibilities. Zero, who noticed our conversation ended there, snuggled closer to me and huffed. My thoughts were temporarily put aside as I noted this new situation. Zero was...snuggling with me...
A new form of unspeakable joy was formed, as I struggled to contain this bliss. He leaned his head against my shoulder guard.
"I feel woozy..." Actually so did I, but not from the thought of him snuggling with me. Hey, that is what alcohol does.
A few cups of spiked punch later...
We were having a blast. Laughing and joking around, even if I knew we would have splitting headaches in the morning. I proceeded in tickling Zero until he cried uncle. I giggled as he tried to catch his breath from laughing so hard. I've never had so much fun with him! I should spike our drinks more often. I laid down next to Zero while continuing to giggle.
"What's so funny?" I only laughed harder. "Oh come on, tell me!!"
"It's a secret!"
"I like secrets!"
"I can't tell you though cause it's a secret!"
"I won't tell!"
"It's a secret from you!"
"Please???" Zero gave me puppy dog eyes which made me giggle again. "Come on..."
"Okay I guess...I like you."
"That's it?"
"I like you-like you!"
"Ooohhh...well, I like you-like you too!" I sat up hopefully.
"R...Really?!"
"Really-really."
"Really really-really?"
"Mmmhhmmm!"
"..." I was speechless. I had no idea! He likes me the same way I like him! "...well, does that mean you love me?" Zero thought for a moment. It felt like forever to wait for his answer.
"Yeah." I felt like jumping up and down like a cheerleader. He loves me! He loves me! Filled with excitement, I kissed him merrily. Then he kissed me back. Oh glorious day! My crush loves me too! I hugged him very tightly as we continued to kiss each other.
Yes he did love me! I could feel it!
We eventually pulled back. I stroked his head tenderly. I went to kiss him again, but he placed a finger on my lips.
"I'm really tired...I'm going to go to sleep..." I wanted to continue, but he did look tired.
"Alright...we'll continue tomorrow, right?" He nodded and yawned sleepily then rolled over to sleep. I took out one of my daisies and hugged it against my chest.
"He loves me..."
The second I opened my eyes I immediately regretted it and closed them. The stupid sun was beaming down brilliantly on the morning I had the migraine of a lifetime. The light caused the pounding to double as I held my head to stop the spiraling sensation.
"Ugh...nhmmm..." Sounded like Zero wasn't handling this situation so gracefully either. But not even this pain could stop me from feeling happy from last night. "Baku...what the hell did you do to me...?"
"Uh...spike your drink and get drunk with you?" I shielded my eyes and looked over at Zero glaring at me.
"I'll kill you tomorrow..." I chuckled and scooted closer to him.
"...What are you doing?"
"Lying next to you."
"There's something called personal space." I nuzzled my head in his arm.
"Could you define it and use it in a sentence?"
"No, that's not funny Baku. Really." I smiled.
"Really-really!"
"...If your still drunk, I'm gonna smack you upside the head..."
"Naw...but I probably had less to drink than you..." I paused. "...Your trashed."
"Thanks for noticing..." He planted his face into the ground.
"Oh come off it. Didn't you have fun?"
"Fun at what?! I don't remember much..." I began to fear the worst suddenly.
"...Do you remember what I told you...?"
"No..." I crossed my fingers.
"...How about what you told me...?"
"What did I tell you?!" Zero said in an afraid to know tone. My heart sank. To tell you the truth, I did not want to tell him how I felt for a second time.
"So you don't remember anything we did last night...?"
"Up until we were drunk...what did I say??" Zero sat up and shook me a little. I solemnly shook my head and then decided to tell him all over again.
"I told you that I...like you-like you..." Zero sat there and stared at me.
"...Your still drunk I see. Here-" No! I won't take this sitting down! He reached out for my hand but I snatched it away and sat up also.
"No Zero! I am not drunk! I meant it- that's what I told you and I still mean it now!"
"...Your even more drunk than I thought you were."
"Stop it Zero! You said you liked me the same way last night!" Is he denying our love? I could feel his soul put into that kiss, he did mean it! He DID mean it! True love is real! True love IS real!
"Well you know what Baku? I was drunk out of my mind last night, just like you are now-"
"I am not drunk!" I was becoming angry quickly, which wasn't helping my headache. I felt nauseous arguing with Zero like this. "Why can't you believe me??"
"Because what your saying is absurd! I don't love you and never will!" My mouth went dry and it felt like someone ripped out my heart then shipped it on the Titanic. I stared at him for a moment, feeling the blood drain from my face. "...Baku?"
The ground came up to meet me.
My eyes fluttered open to those damn curtains again. I'm in my room? Was it all a nightmare? Yes, a horrible nightmare! I didn't get raped, Zero never was kidnapped and we never got drunk! It's just another day at the base...
I swallowed hard. My stomach kept lurching and I couldn't manage to keep it down for long.
A dream? Could answers be so simple?
I wasn't sure of anything.
Except that I felt horrible.
Guneagle came into my room holding a bowl of water. When he realized I was awake, he paused.
"It's good to see you up. I would never had imagined both you and Zero getting drunk! He said you both woke up and then you passed out. He also said you were delirious."
So...it's true...Zero hates me...? I laid there as my heart crumbled into sand. How could he? My stomach took another leap, I held it down and groaned. "Heh, sucks for you. But we can't tell Shute that we partied without him, he'd be jealous. We simply told him you were sick and Zero wasn't feeling well either..." He blinked. "Wait, if your delirious, do you see me as me? Or some weird creature like thing?"
"You are a weird creature like thing, Guneagle..."
"Real funny. Well, I hope ya' feel better." He placed the bowl of water on the nightstand by my bed and left. I have never felt so miserable. Why is Zero doing this?! Why can't his heart tell his mind the truth?!? Why does the person you love the most hurt the the worst? I can't...please Zero, don't leave me standed...I need you...
I sat up and hugged my knees against my chest. He's taken things from me. Now he's gonna leave with my affection? "There's nothing left worth for you to take, Zero...If you must abandon me, at least let me rot in peace..." I sniffed and tried to force back the tears that were forming. I picked out a daisy from the vase Captain gave me and began to pluck off petals. "He loves me......he loves me not..." I continued doing this to the last petals remaining on the daisies head.
He loves me not...
Why must you not lie, daisies?! The truth is so painful, even if Zero pretended to like me, I'd be fine...
Am I just a burden to him? Is that why he hates me??
True love...isn't real...?
I felt the cool salty water roll down my cheek. I flopped over and buried my head in my pillow.
"Baku?" The door began to open. I quickly grabbed the bowl of water and dumped it on my head. Zero came into the room and looked at me, soaked in water. "...What are you doing?"
"I spilled the water..." I didn't want Zero to think I was weak. I didn't want him to see me cry, so I hid my tears in the water.
"Well...it looks like your feeling better."
"Whatever you want to tell yourself Zero..."
"What?" I looked away and let the macabre filled me. One of the few times I didn't want to see him. "...you still look ghastly though."
"...Has it ever passed your mind that I don't care what I look like...?"
"What's the sudden attitude about?"
"...Just shut up and leave me alone..." I turned my back to him and stared at the gaudy curtains.
"This is about the whole love thing, isn't it?"
"What the hell do you think?!"
"Just because I don't love you doesn't mean the world is ending-"
"Yes it is...it ends my world..."
"Baku, stop that."
"If everything else around me tells the truth to hurt me, why can't I tell the truth! You...you thief !!"
"Thief?!? What are you talking about?"
"What are you going to steal from me next-my soul? Then you can take my life to make a complete set of taking everything from me-" Zero grabbed me by the shoulders from behind and forced me to face him.
"Baku, I would never hurt you-"
"You already have!! And more than one way! Everything you say contradicts what you do!"
"...Bakunetsumaru, your the one who's hurting yourself. I would never take your life..."
"But you took other things away from me without even meaning to..." I tore away from him and stood up to walk over to the window. I could feel the tears come back again. Is this a never ending circle of torture and pain? Am I forbidden to be happy ever again?
"Like what!?"
"My heart, my spirit, my virginity!!" I rested my head against the cold glass and watched the sun by blocked by some clouds. My head felt hot compared to the window, a cold front must have came in.
"Your...virginity?" I froze. Did I just say that out loud?? "What do you mean by that?? Did we...do that while I was drunk?!?"
"N...No...not then..." I sniffed and held my chest protectively. Another tug at my heart.
"When then???" I didn't answer. I didn't want anyone to know. I thought no one needed to know because I had it all under control.
Plus I didn't want Zero to be exiled. It really wasn't his fault-and I know that. But it happened and there isn't turning back. I couldn't stand it if Zero was exiled! But he puts me through so much pain when I'm with him...
It's a lose-lose situation. I'm in unspeakable pain with him, and unspeakable pain without him. I'm always in pain.
"Baku answer me!"
"Just forget it okay?"
"No, I won't. I want to know what your talking about, and I'll stand here until you do!" I clenched my eyes and trembled.
"...You know that clone puppet thing Tallgeese had...?"
"Was it a clone? I killed it when you left. It didn't have a soul."
"Yeah, I know. Tallgeese created that to give him 'pleasure' until he got you. Once he got you, he tried to abandon the puppet."
"So?"
"I...I-It...raped me..." I could feel Zero's stare and shock, even though I wasn't facing him. "You...raped me..."
"Oh mana..."
"Don't tell anyone! I didn't even mean to tell you...it just slipped..." Zero came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Baku...I-"
"Can you please go away now?!?" I felt Zero's hand leave my shoulder and heard him walk away. The moment he left I broke down into a fit of sobs.
Each time I feel that it couldn't get any worse, it does . I can't take this anymore...
I looked down out the window. It was a far ways down. It was perfect.
Zero took everything from me anyway. I'm sure Captain, Shute, Guneagle, and Gunbike could take care of Entengo. That is my only regret; she doesn't deserve this.
But neither did I right? I searched threw the clouds cloaking the base for the ground. The horizon stretched out much father from up here. I'm only a step away. I bet master and Kujakumaru and screaming at me right now.
I brought my daisies with me. At least they never hurt me. Oh well, here goes nothing... I took that one step that seals my fate.
I really didn't want to do this...
But I can't stand the pain I'm being put through.
I don't care if you think it's the cowards way out.
Because I don't care what you think of me.
I don't even care what I think of me.
Anything to end this now.
The wind rushing all around me. It almost feels like I'm free. I'm free to die in peace.
What's this? I've stopped?? But how? I look behind me and cry out "Why?!?"
Zero had saved me. He floated the rest of the way down as I began to cry again. But I don't care what he thinks or says this time. I gave up caring so he wouldn't take that from me also. Zero gently landed on the grass and set me down.
"Now what...Are you going to take away my right to die peacefully too?!?" I choked out. "What more do you want...?" He kneeled down and placed his hand on my head. I looked at the ground and watched my tears be absorbed by the soil. When I began to calm down and breath normally, he pulled me close to his chest and hugged me. I sat there bewildered. Did he...I forced myself not to use that word, fearing that if I did, I would lose it. Yes, I think he did! I let the water welding in my eyes dry and buried my head in his chest. "Oh Zero..."
"Shhh. It's okay...Everything's alright..." He rubbed my back with the hand that previously was resting a top my head.
"Zero...do you...?"
"Yes, I believe I do..." His cerulean eyes met with my hazel. "I couldn't see it earlier..." He hugged me tighter. "...But I do." I hugged him back.
"Good...and if your just saying this to prevent me from-"
"No, no. I never meant to play with your heart earlier...and I'm forever in your debt for those things I did..."
"I always did forgive you...it was just it continued to show up and pull me down and down...Every time I stood." Zero took my hands and helped me to my feet.
"True loves course never did run smooth...but so help God if any drop of passion that runs in lover's veins be lost in turmoil." He gazed into my eyes as I felt my cheeks turn red. "And I certainly do not need to be sober to tell you that." He led me to start walking so I did so.
"That was beautiful Zero..." I spotted my daisy I was carrying with me on the ground and I picked it up. "...What unveiled the truth anyway?"
"Well, I felt horrible after what you told me. But I realized something, you must truly love me with every fiber of your being. You loved me even when you thought I raped you, even when I broke your heart. I could tell you would always love me if you could go through that...So I did a little soul searching and it told me to find you. While I was flying after you, I was so worried that I would lose you. I was afraid to lose you...and your more than a friend to me now..." I giggled and jogged off ahead. Zero flew to catch up with me.
"We started off bad, why don't we try again?"
"Um...alright."
"Hello, I'm Bakunetsumaru, but you can call me Baku for short. Cheese is my favorite food."
"Do we have to start over from the begining-begining?"
"Oh come on. Introduce yourself!"
"Alright. I'm Zero and I use magic a lot. For you." Instead of creating the typical rose, Zero made a blue daisy for me. I took the flower and gazed at it.
"It's beautiful Zero!" I took his hand and continued to walk with him. "I love daisies...
"...but above all, I love you."
Until The End of World by U2
Haven't seen you in quite a while
I was down the hold, just passing time
Last night we met in a low-lit room
We were as close together as a bride and groom
We ate the food, we drank the wine
Everybody having a good time
Except you
You were talking about the end of the world
I took the money, I spiked your drink
You miss too much these days if you stop to think
You lead me on with those innocent eyes
And you know I love the element of surprise
In the garden I was playing the tart
I kissed your lips and broke your heart
You, you were acting like it was the end of the world
In my dream I was drowning my sorrows
But my sorrows they learned to swim
Surrounding me, going down on me
Spilling over the brim
In waves of regret, waves of joy
I reached out for the one I tried to destroy
You, you said you'd wait until the end of the world
~*~*~*~*~*
...1...2...3-Awwww.... That's a cute ending, neh? Those who are REALLY dense (cough Kai cough) and don't know who Kujakumaru is, it's Ashu's original name. (get's hit with shoe) Ow...yes the truth hurts. (another shoe flies my way but I duck) HAH! (can-opener nails me on the head) X.x Ouuuuch...yeah, Zero realizes his love a little quickly. I think last chapter went better. Oh well, what can you do.