SD Gundam Fan Fiction ❯ Yabureru Mapputatsu ❯ Goodbye ( Chapter 2 )

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Yabureru Mapputatsu
By: May-VeggieGirl1

This chapter is fudged due to Kai and her not-updating-ness. -.-+ gerrrm.
This chapter has been edited, but it's still only halfway done since I decided to cram as much as I can in this fic.

Kaibaso is introduced in Chapter 21, and since that's only a song, all you need to know is that he is Baku/ Taishi's sensei (or master or mentor) and a guardian, although he isn't much a 'guardian' in this chapter x.x He is also Ybaso's younger brother.Tokeiko, on the other hand, doesn't have an introduction until around chapter 27. You'll find her soon enough. She's the musha doctor ^^;

Chapter 22: Goodbye

Zero continued to sit there against the tree, everyone had long-gone to bed. In his lap, Baku laid out with his face burying in Zero's stomach, tears stilling brimming his closed tired eyes. He continued to stroke Baku's head, too deep in thought to notice how fast the time was going by.
Just like Neotopia...

I've always been kind of a black sheep amongst those in my group. I never had any brothers or sisters, and since something happened to my parents when I was very little, I mostly lived alone. I don't even remember what happened to my parents, it was like one day I woke up and they were gone. I remember wondering sometimes if they were even real, it was like waking up from a long dream.

Baku fidgeted slightly, rolling further on his side as Zero continued to stroke his head and watch.
"You don't remember your parents either..."

Unlike Baku though, I never questioned it. There was nothing but acceptance. What I did have problems coming to grips with was always being alone. Sure, I am a loner, but I don't think I want to be deep down. Maybe my brain can't agree with what my heart wants. That's happened before.

Either way, it all lead up to me following the Princess around like a lost puppy dog.
If anyone actually came out and told me that I was, of course I would get upset with them. Hey, maybe I can act like a mongrel, but I'd be damned to let someone pick at my ego like that.
Thankfully, the Princess didn't mind at all. She liked my company, I always there if she wanted to speak her mind, blow off some steam or cry on my shoulder. I always wanted it to be around her, to be at her service with my life. That's how I tracked down to be a knight.

Strange enough, becoming a knight only slowly pushed me further away from her, until she was turn into stone on that horrid day.
Because I had to study and practice as a knight, I wasn't permitted to see her that often. I made some companion while practicing my swordsmanship, but I still felt that I lacked the company of the princess. It wasn't long after that that I met Sheela.

Maybe it is strange, but, if anything, my true-models were women. Did that mean I wanted to be a women? Not exactly, but it wasn't that far off.
Of course, that sounds really messed up. I am a proud knight after all, we are supposed to save helpless damsels and serve our Lord. Okay, so the serving was correct, but 'helpless damsels'? That is a myth. Not fairies, not demons, but helpless women. I never met a single lady in Lacroa who didn't have that fighting aura of spirit, or an array of powerful emotions. They were also somewhat insane, but I never admired that too much. Men are supposed to be silent and conserved, never letting their guard down or their 'weakness', aka emotion, shown.

That was the thing, I wanted that inner vigor almost all women had. I wanted to be able to let someone know what I was thinking for a change, to get rid of my poker face.
Sheela, I thought, was someone who could have helped me do that.
Unlike most of the other out-going women in Lacroa, she was quiet and timid. Almost like how I was, but I still saw it. She still had those two characteristics of a woman, and I wanted to know how she could combine compassion with silence and power with shyness. And the more I wanted to learn, the more I would stay by her. I ended up finding feelings myself for her. I had hope in that love to bind out differences and still keeps us together and happy.

And then, my world unraveled beneath me. It began with an accident that I was not there for. Sheela received a fatal head injury. I was so concerned for her life that when they told me she had amnesia, I was too happy that she would live to care. I was happy until she woke up that was, and I truly realized what it meant. She didn't know who I was anymore. Our chances at our happy ending were slowly cracking and falling away into other broken dreams.
What happened next almost tore me completely apart. The attack on Lacroa began. I remember so clearly what happened... it was early morning, I was asleep until I rudely awaken by shouting then some explosions. Before I had time to contemplate what was going on, one of my good friends practically broke down my door, and alerted me of the danger. Obviously I went and fought with every bit of bravery and strength I had against the villains, somehow during the first sweep, we won. But at a steep price. Half of our forces were badly wounded or killed in the battle. Since civilians were attacked as well, I hurried as fast as I could what happened to the med building she was in. The worst news I had ever heard was brought to me. In between the small alley with the med building she was in and another one, a bomb was detonated. No one in the two buildings lived.
I was so depressed, I barely got any sleep that night. Then the very next day, they came back. And before my eyes I watched everyone fall, even my beloved princess.

Even after all of that, it ended up digging an even bigger gouge and throwing my emotions into that hole. After all that time of trying to bring it to the surface, I had failed. So I ended up giving up the ambition, since it only took away those were close to me.
Zero sighed and leaned over so he could look over top of Baku.
"Was it such a bad thing to get so close to you? I hope not," he murmured while wiping some tears from Baku's eyes.

When I met Captain and Shute, I wasn't too impressed. Mediocre strength, mediocre all around. When Captain propelled that blast with his bare hands, that was when I thought a lot higher of the two. Shute was able to give him that strength and vigor.
Then... I met you.
You taught me that it is okay to let me show my feelings... that someone could still be strong and compassionate at the same time. You are able to choose what you want the world to see, and what you want to keep to yourself.
Sure, I called you weak even though I watched you grow even stronger. It's made me stronger too I believe... maybe you are my Shute if I were Captain.
Really, those were good days. Shute would try to drag us anywhere he could in Neotopia as I would chide at you for your quick fuse.

And then we ended up here right? No, there was more, I'm sure of it. A lot really has changed in between then and now. I've... become susceptible again. I didn't want to ever care for someone again, so I could never feel that emptiness. Not like Sheela.
I'm surprised I don't think about her more. Maybe you takes up all of my thoughts...

Zero shook his head to the side. "I shouldn't think about those things." He felt his eyes grow weary and stopped petting Baku's head.

How will I be able to say goodbye...? To come this far, then, in one quick decision, to never see you again? No, we'll see each other again. I don't want to think about what would happen to me, to us, if we did.

I can't imagine what would happen if that did happen. To never watch quietly in fascination of how you can go from mood to mood on any spontaneous whim. To not be able to hold and protect you like I am right now...
And to think how different we are! Not only in background and home, but in personality! You're outgoing while I am concerned. To think that we both envy each other too.
You can deny it, but you know that you aren't that hard to read. I envy that more than use it as an insult. And you want my passive shell also right? It's very interesting. I wonder exactly how deep the lines fate draws goes. I want your ability to let everything fall on the table, and you want my ability to keep everything locked up in a safe.

He sighed while leaning back further, resting his head against the bark on the tree while glancing up at the dotted sky. He let his tired eyes close.

Maybe... I'm just over-thinking things...

Are you still crying Baku?

His eyes and head throbbing, Baku woke with one of the biggest headaches of his life. Once opening his eyes, he immediately closed them to avoid the light shining in from his window.How did I get in my room?Only a second after thinking that did he flinch from the bolt of pain that doubled in intensity. He groaned while pulling the blanket over his head.Maybe it would be best not to think about anything..."Bakunetsumaru." Baku winced while tucking his head further under the pillow."I'm hibernating, get me in three months," he muffled in the pillow in his groggy voice.
"Gundams don't hibernate.""I don't care what gundams can do, I'm hibernating..."
"Like you would last three months without food..." Baku forced his eyes shut again and continued to sleep. "Alright, get up," Kaibaso grabbed Baku's foot and started to drag him out of bed. Baku, with his eyes still closed, scrambled for the pillow and planted his face to it. Kaibaso grabbed the pillow and pulled it up. Baku continued to cling onto it for dear life.
"... sen-SEI!!"
"Baku, it's time to get up." Baku's fingers slipped and he flopped on his back."What time is it," he groaned while lying on the floor.
"7 am.""That's crazy, who in their right mind gets up at that hour?!"
"Well, maybe it wouldn't be so crazy if you go to sleep with the rest of the world at a reasonable hour. And I don't mean crying yourself to sleep at 3 in the morning," Kaibaso muttered while sweatdropping.
"How'd I get in my room?" Baku rubbed his eyes and blinked rapidly."I dragged you back here after Zero nodded off.""Aha! You were up at 3 am!""You know I rarely sleep.""But... GRAH!!""Be quiet or you're going to wake the others." Baku began to cry and flail his feet about."THAT'S NOT FAIR!! Just admit, you hate me don't you!?! Taishi is such a teacher's pet, no wonder you like him more! Gahh, now my headache's even wooorrrsssseee," he whined.
"Will you stop crying?! Anymore and we're going to have an ocean surrounding our house! Speaking of Taishi, I got you up so you could head over to Tokeiko-san's and inform her about everything that occured in Neotopia.""WHAT?!?!?! You want me to go tell her that at this hour!?! She'll TEAR me LIMB from LIMB and then use my body parts to make a FRANKENSTEIN or SOMETHING!!!" Baku began to cry harder. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE EATEN ALIVE BY A RABID WOMAN!!!""Have fun." (^_^)"SEEENNNNSEEEEIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!" (>_____<;;;;;;;;;;;;)

Shute stumbled out of the bathroom from being dressed with bags still under his eyes. He trudged into the kitchen, past Kaibaso sitting in a chair humming away, and grabbed a carton of milk.
"Hey, what was all the screaming this morning about," he asked while trying to focus on not missing the glass and spilling milk all over the floor.
"Oh, our neighbor was going threw labor." Shute spit out all of the milk on the counter."What!??!""I'm joking, we don't even have neighbors. And you are going to clean that up." Shute huffed while grabbing a dish cloth and whipping up the milk."So, really, what was all the screaming about?"
"It was Baku, who else? He had to go run an errand. Hey, since you're up, why don't you pray for his soul?" Shute blinked and semi-glared at him."This better not be a joke.""Nah, he's just going to get him limbs torn off by a rabid woman then have his parts be used to create a frankenstein.""Haha, that's not funny!""I'm not joking."
"......................................." (O.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;)

LOL, sorry I'm cutting the chapter there! ^^;; the rest might refer to the end of TB, so Kai's gonna hafta update, ya know? Alright, Kaibaso isn't that sadistic normally, I was kinda hyper I guess. =^^=
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