Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ A Slayers Christmas Special ❯ Prologue

[ A - All Readers ]

A Slayers Christmas Special
By Yufflez(Uh oh)

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature
was stirring, with the exception of:
(Filia chases Xellos out of her kitchen for the hundredth time that
Filia: If you EVER set foot in my kitchen again, I will KILL
Xellos: ^_^
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Amelia: OOH! Mister Zelgadis! We're standing under the mistletoe!
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Amelia: You're supposed to kiss me.
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Lina: Aw, come on Zel, get in the spirit!
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Lina: ...well, good enough. Come help me decorate the tree!
Zelgadis: No.
Lina: Aw...(whispers something to Amelia.)
(Amelia crams a Santa hat on Zelgadis' head.)
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Lina: Aw crap! We don't have any tree decorations! And I don't
have time to run out and buy some...
Filia: Don't worry about it! Amelia, go get my jewellry box!
(Amelia nods and brings Filia her jewellry box.)
(Filia pulls out a bunch of sets of earrings and sets them on the tree.)
Filia: This'll do nicely!
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Gourry: Hey! There's someone at the door!
Lina: Well, answer it, you dolt!
(Gourry goes and opens the door. There, stands Dynast, Dolphin, Garv,
Phibrizzo, and Zelas.)
Lina: What the heck are you doing here?!
Zelas: We were invited.
Lina: By whom...?
Xellos: Giggle.
Lina: I won't ask.
Dolphin: Like, wow! Cool tree! Hey...aren't those earrings? That
is so cool!
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Dynast: Me too.
Zelgadis: Coffee?
Dynast: Don't mind if I do.
Lina: (giving Xellos an odd look) ...Who else did you invite?
Xellos: Sore wa himit-
Doorbell: Ding dong! Ding dong! Answer the darn door already!
Dolphin: Wow, I love your doorbell!
(Lina goes to answer the door.)
Lina: Hello? Ah...AH!!!
(Lina runs and ducks behind a couch.)
Luna: Hello!
Xellos: Hiya Luna-chan!
Lina: (whispering to Xellos) I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AFTER THIS

Xellos: ^_^ Giggle. (pauses and looks out the door.) Oh, look!
^_^ Here come some caroller people!
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Dark Star, Death Fog & Chaotic Blue: FALALALALALALALA!
Lina: ...Ooooh god.
Dolphin: Oh wow! The four Dark Lords! Can I have your autographs?
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
(The four Dark Lords all give Dolphin their autographs.)
Dolphin: Yay! ^_^
Lina: (to Xellos) Okay, that's EVERYONE you invited, RIGHT?
Xellos: ^_^ Sore wa himitsu desu!
Lina: Augh!!
(Lina shuts the door. Two seconds later someone knocks on it.)
Lina: Okay, I've answered the door enough times. Gourry, you
answer the door!
Gourry: I don't wanna answer the door, make Zelgadis do it!
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Shabranigdo: FINE! I'LL OPEN THE DOOR!
Everyone: K.
(Shabranigdo opens the door. There, stands Martina, Zangulus, Jiras,
Vrumugun, Rezo, Valgarv, Alumace, that dragon elder
dude from Slayers Try, Phillionel, Halcyform, and pretty much everyone
in the entire frickin series that ever had a name! Oh, andYufflez.)
Martina: (Looks up at the Dark Lord) ...eeeep.
Zangulus: Oooookay this is weird.
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Vrumugun: Me too.
Zelgadis: Coffee?
Vrumugun: Don't mind if I do.
(Vrumugun joins Zelgadis and Dynast as they talk about how much they
hate Christmas.)
Martina: Oooh! Hello, Xellos-sama!
Xellos: Hi. ^_^
Martina: (swoon)
Zangulus: Hey! You're married! To me!
Martina: So?
Alumace: Let's sing Christmas carols!
Zelgadis: Let's not.
Dynast: This sucks.
Vrumugun: I wanna go home.
Rezo: (Sitting down next to Zelgadis) Hello, grandson/great grandson!
Zelgadis: Go away.
Rezo: But shouldn't we be spending quality time together? This
is Christmas, you know!
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Luna: I'm amazed that you have all gotten together in the same
house, yet nobody has started any fights yet.
Lina: That IS amazing.
Amelia: (raises eyebrows) Ooookay then...
(Amelia taps Lina on the shoulder)
Amelia: Lina-san, did you make eggnog?
Lina: No, eggnog sucks.
Amelia: Lina-san! You can't have Christmas without eggnog!
Lina: I can and will.
Amelia: Having Christmas dinner without eggnog is unjust and
Lina: It is?
Amelia: YES! In the name of Justice, I shall punish you!
Lina: ...for not making eggnog?
Amelia: Um...YAH!
Filia: Um, anyway, we should get to cooking the turkey and stuff.
(Filia walks into the kitchen.)
Filia: Huh? That's odd...
(Filia runs into the dining room. The table is set, complete with food
of all sorts...except eggnog. Ick. I hate eggnog.)
(Lina follows her.)
Lina: Who...set the table? And cooked the turkey?
Xellos: Giggle.
Filia: Uh oh.
(Filia picks up the turkey and puts it to her ear.)
Filia: It's ticking! Namagomi's trying to kill us all!!
Filia: HOW?
(Filia runs into the living room with the turkey.)
Filia: Um...CATCH!
(Filia tosses the turkey in Dark Star's mouth.)
(Dark Star explodes)
Lina: Well...that was...interesting.
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Dragon Elder Dude: Filia killed an evil Mazoku lord!
Everyone: Yay!
Shabranigdo: Never liked him anyway.
Everyone: Yay!
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Everyone: Yay!
Valgarv: I hate you all.
Everyone: Yay!
Amelia: Zelgadis-san, will you marry me?
Zelgadis: No.
Everyone: Yay!
Dynast: Um...can you people shut up?
Everyone: No.
Alumace: Let's sing Christmas carols!
Garv: Let's kill Alumace!
Everyone: Yay!
Filia: Hey! What about Christmas dinner?
(Yufflez shrugs)
Yufflez: We could always order chinese.
Lina: Works for me.
Filia: This is Christmas! We should have a traditional dinner!
With turkey! And potatoes! And...and...
Amelia: Eggnog!
Filia: Yeah!
Lina: No! No eggnog!
Amelia: Why not?
Yufflez: I forbid it!
Amelia: That's mean!
Yufflez: Deal with it!
Amelia: Let's switch scenes now!
Yufflez: Okay!
(Scene switches over to where Zelgadis is standing. Xellos approaches
Xellos: Hiya, Zel-kun! ^_^
Zelgadis: Go away.
Xellos: We're standing under the mistletoe.....^_^
(Zelgadis looks up. A mistletoe is hovering over him. He moves away.
The mistletoe moves with him.)
Zelgadis: Grr...
(Zelgadis turns and runs, followed by Xellos and the flying mistletoe.)
(Filia notices this, grabs her mace, and chases Xellos)
Xellos: I'd rather not. ^_^
Yufflez: Well, this is fun, ne? ^_^
Amelia: No! I want eggnog!
Alumace: ~The first Noel, the angel did say!~
Lina: AH! NOOO!
Alumace: ~Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay!~
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Xellos: (getting beaten by Filia) ^_^
Alumace: ~In fields where they lay keeping their sheep!~
Valgarv: I hate you.
Alumace: ~On a cold winter's night that was so deep!~
Shabranigdo and Alumace: ~Noel, Noel! Noel, Noel!~
Shabranigdo: ~Born is the ki-ing of Isreal!~
Lina: This. Is. Really. Stupid.
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Xellos: what am I gonna do with this? (holds up a little
Sylphiel: Gimme! (snatches mistletoe) Oh...Gourry-sama! Come
here, Gourry-sama!
Gourry: O.o; (hides)
(Sylphiel glomps Gourry)
Amelia: I want eggnog!
Lina: NEVER!
Amelia: That's unjust!
Phibrizzo: It sounds pretty darn just to me.
Amelia: No! It isn't! I'll sue you! I'll sue you all! I have
(And so, Amelia filed a lawsuit with Phibrizzo and eventually the two
got married and had seven cute little mazoku children ^_^)
Lina: o.O; (moves away from Yufflez in fear that she might get
paired up with someone she hates)
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Lina: Let's go get some coffee.
(And so, Lina and Zel went and got some coffee and eventually got married
and had cute little chimera children! ^_^)
Gourry: Hey! I'M supposed to be with Lina!!
Yufflez: You can have Sylphiel.
(Gourry and Sylphiel got married and had cute little normal human children.)
Filia: This is getting scary.
Alumace: Let's sing Christmas carols!
Everyone: NO!
Filia: That actually wouldn't be a bad idea.
Alumace: Thank you!
Everyone: SHUT UP FILIA!
Filia: Oh, come on! ~Deck the halls with balls of holly...~
Alumace: Falalalalalalalala!
Filia: ~'Tis the season to be jolly!~
Alumace: Falalalalalalalala!
Xellos: ~Don we now our gay apparel,~
Zelgadis: Oh that's suitable.
Alumace: Falalalalalalalalala!
Sylphiel: ~Troll the ancient Yuletide carol!~
Dark Lords and Alumace: Falalalalalalalala!
Luna: ~See the blazing Yule before us,~
Dark Lords and Alumace: Falalalalalalalala!
Dragon Elder Dude: ~Strike the harp and join the chorus!~
Dark Lords and Alumace: Falalalalalalalala!
Dolphin: ~Follow me in merry measure!~
Dark Lords and Alumace: Falalalalalalalalala!
Gourry: ~While I tell of-oh crap, how do you pronounce that...~
Dark Lords and Alumace: Falalalalalalalala!
Zelas: ~Fast away the old year passes!~
Dark Lords and Alumace: Falalalalalalalala!
Jiras: ~Hail the new, ye lads and lasses!~
Dark Lords and Alumace: Falalalalalalalala!
Garv: ~Sing we joyous, all together!~
Dark Lords and Alumace: Falalalalalalalala!
Lina: ~Heedless of the wind and weather!~
Everyone: Falalalalalalalalala!
Filia: See? That wasn't so bad!
Zelgadis: I hate Christmas.
Dynast: I'm going home.
Amelia: I want eggnog.
Valgarv: I hate you all.
Filia: That's the spirit!
THE END (Finally)
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE! I want to wish you all a merry Christmas!
And a happy New Year!

And a special holiday bashing for Bobbo G: DIE!