Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ One Lie Equals To One Kiss ❯ Prologue

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

One Lie Equals To One Kiss
Author's Note: I'm trying something different this time! I'm taking a break from Without Light, Without Darkness. I'm sort of in a comedy / romance mood and listening to Blink 182's 'Dammit" helped a bit.
If you people have noticed…I have a very dry sense of humor so don't yell!
Once again this is a Xelloss / Filia fic…if you don't like it then well…tuff luck!
You can reach me by dark_raven_lord@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I do not own "The Slayers" or the song "Dammit" by Blink 182 and the only reason why I'm doing this is because I don't wanna get sued by lawyers. (Even though I'm not using the lyrics)
Once again I present…
One Lie Equals To One Kiss

It was an average summer day…in fact a very hot, dry summer day.
At first Filia had invited everyone to a nice vacation in a small resort town. Since she was raising ValGravv and running a pottery shop at the same time, she thought that she deserved a decent get away trip.
Jirasu and Kurabos were looking after ValGravv.
So it went along…Filia had met up with Lina, Gourry, Amelia and Zelgadis at the hotel that Filia had reserved. The hotel was a nice, cozy little building with a pub at the entrance. The rooms were upstairs.
Each room had a single bed, desk, mirror and a chair. Also there was a large window facing the famous, old live Performance Theater.
They had planned the trip for three days. The schedules had been broken up into the following:
Day 1: Visit to the hot springs outside of the town.
Day 2: Go shopping at the Farmer's Market.
Day 3: Go to a play at the Performance Theater.
The day they met wouldn't count.
***
Oddly enough…Xelloss too had planned something…
"…Not what I had expected…" he mumbled as he stared at the same small town Filia and company were at. "Not too many odd jobs here…" he eyed the large Performance Theater that was right smack in the center of the town.
He sighed and once again mumbled, "Dumb summer lay off" he started to walk into town. "They could have told me it without sugar coating it… I mean they tried to tell me it was 'summer vacation'" he walked over to a fountain, oddly it felt sort of Déjà vu.
"Throw coin in and ring bell for good luck" it read on a sign beside the fountain.
"Might as well" he shrugged as he dug around in his clothing for a coin. When he came up with nothing, he remembered why he came here. "Oh yeah! I need a job!" and with that he marched up to an employment building with a triumphant smile upon face.
He got the following jobs at the following times.
Day 1:
Morning: Guide to the Hot Springs (Bring tour group to Hot Springs)
Noon: Attendant to Hot Springs
Night: Guide back to Town (Bring the tour group back to Town)
Day 2:
Morning: Restaurant Waiter
Noon: Fill-in-Farmer at the Farmer's Market
Night: Restaurant Cook
Day 3:
Morning: Repair Person
Noon: Ticket Seller
Night: Off Duty (Gets Paid)
"Seems easy enough…" he thought as the old, fat man whom gave him his jobs yelled at him.
"Be at the hotel over there by 6:00am sharp!" he yelled as Xelloss nodded and walked back to the fountain.
"Just you wait!" he said in a determined voice. "I'll throw in a coin and you'll not mock me no more! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed as another thought struck him, "Where am I suppose to sleep?"…
Day 1
5:51am
"Hey Filia! Wake up!" Lina yelled as she pounded on the door of Filia's room. "The tour guy is coming in 9 minutes! So wake up!"
Filia woke up with a start. "Oh no! I'm going to be late!" she immediately brushed her teeth, got dressed and combed her hair in 7 minutes, leaving 2 minute for her to walk down stairs with Lina.
During the 2 minute walk downstairs…
"Gezz these human bodies are sure very time consuming!" Filia complained as she and Lina walked downstairs.
"Oh stop it! You nearly got us late!" Lina snapped as they got arrived on the second floor.
"Sorry!" Filia said meekly as Lina just laughed it off.
"Oh well Filia…the only victim would be the tour guy I guess" Lina stated. "Who knows Filia, maybe the tour guy s cute* wink wink, nudge nudge*"
"Lina!" Filia was shocked. "I'm not that kind of person err dragon!" Filia protested as Lina just laughed again.
"Well I guess Filia…but it'll be kind of lonely just going to that theater by yourself with no date!" Lina said as Filia blushed.
"I guess Lina but…" Filia was cut off as Gourry greeted them downstairs on the main floor. Zelgadis was enjoying a cup of coffee, though with a somewhat shrew look on his face. Amelia was sitting beside him; also her face was too hiding something.
"Hey Lina! Hey Filia!" Gourry said as Lina waved to him. "You'll never guess whos-" Amelia stomped on Gourry's foot.
"We told you not to tell!" Amelia said sternly as Gourry meekly nodded.
"What? Who's here?" Lina asked as they joined everyone.
"Look behind" Zelgadis said as he pointed behind him.
There sleeping face first on the bar, with slight drool dripping from side of mouth was Xelloss.
"Xelloss!" both Lina and Filia said in unison.
"That…he followed us! I know it!" Filia protested as Lina leaned close to Filia and said, "I guess he's your date!"
Filia's face was red with embarrassment as Lina went over to the sleeping and probably drunk Xelloss. She took a deep breath and then, yelled in his ear. "WAKE UP XELLOSS!"
Xelloss jumped up from his seat, falling backwards and landed underneath Filia's dress.
Filia shrieked and kicked his head. He immediately stood up.
Though suffering hearing damage, a concussion, a headache, vision impairing and having his hangover, he still none the less saw everyone.
"What…ar..are you doing here?" she said dazed as he then pointed at Filia, "Were you fo…following me? You naughty drag…dragon" he said as he pointed above her. "Why are yo…you throwing eggs?" he then fell over, unconscious.
"I think you over did it Lina…" Zelgadis said as Amelia turned him over. He had a goofy look on is face.
"Oh no…" Amelia gasped as she recoiled in shock. "He was the tour guide!" everyone gasped as Amelia pointed to a dumb "I'm Xelloss…your tour guide!" sticker on his chest.
"Oh great! The Tour Company ain't going to be happy we knocked out one of their tour guys" Lina shrugged as Zelgadis then pointed out.
"He was suppose to bring us to a restaurant for breakfast, lunch and dinner" A sudden horrified look etched itself upon Lina and Amelia's face while Gourry's jaw dropped.
Both Lina and Amelia began to whack him awake as everyone else watched with a sweat drop on their heads.
After about 3 minutes of whacking, they got him awake.
By now not only did he suffer from a very bad headache; he also had some memory lost.
"Ugg…where am I?" Xelloss slowly awoke with blurred vision, "Am I in hell?"
"Probably" Zelgadis said as Xelloss sat up.
"So how are you? Fine?" Lina said as she faked her concern for Xelloss.
"I have a headache!" Xelloss complained as Amelia said,
"But you remember where we are eating right?"
"I…I…Oh NO! THE TOUR!" Xelloss yelled as he jumped up, looking back and forth. "OH NO! They've left! Oh no, oh no…how am I suppose to pay for my tab here?" he freaked out as everyone sweat dropped again.
"I didn't know he had a drinking problem" Amelia blurted out as Xelloss looked franticly around the pub for his lost tour group.
"Xelloss…we're your tour group" Lina said as Xelloss face faulted and he fell to the ground.
"I think I'm going to be sick…" he mumbled as Lina faked a laugh and asked,
"So how about breakfast?"…
***

9:31am
"Come on! We're all ready 2 hours behind!" Xelloss snapped as Lina, Amelia and Gourry attacked the all-you-can-eat breakfast bar. "I'll get fired if you people don't hurry up!"
While that was happening, both Zelgadis and Filia looked helplessly as Xelloss sulked. In a way Filia felt sort of sorry for him but she couldn't help but giggle at the poor Mazuko' misfortune.
Zelgadis on the other hand just watched while drinking coffee…
***
1:01pm
"We're late!" Xelloss sighed as everyone else just ran into the small, single person booth. "I hate my life…" he said…
***

2:02pm
It has been 1 hour since everyone went in. Xelloss has been sulking with a headache.
"How could they put me back 3 hours?" he thought as the manager of the spa yelled at him, saying "Knock on all the doors and tell them they got 15 minutes left!" Xelloss got up, back hunched as he walked towards the booths.
"Oh and be careful! Some of the doors are broken! You don't want to fall in!" he added.
***
2:05pm
"Hey Lina…you got 15 minutes left…" Xelloss had just about finished when he remembered that Filia was on the other side of the cluster of booths.
Xelloss came to her booth, he leaned over and knocked on it, then the door gave in and he fell into the booth.
As Xelloss pushed himself up from the knee deep water, he saw the tip of Filia's tail and her bare back. He felt a stunned blush come over him as his eyes widened when she turned around…
***
2:06pm
A loud scream was heard as a person ran out of one of the booths. He was wearing dark clothing and was soaking wet. Behind him a large energy beam flew over his head as it wiped out half of the mountain range the springs were located on.
***
2:07pm
"You perverted Mazuko!" Filia screamed as she wrapped herself in a white robe and ran towards the changing area.
While Xelloss was still running away…
***
2:37pm
Everyone had organized and learned of the 'accident' and by now were eating at an all-you-can-eat restaurant near the spa.
Everyone was sitting near the front of the restaurant, while Xelloss sat near the back, face still blushing. Half of him didn't want to see her naked because of certain things she would do to him…but right now he felt it was worth it cause it wasn't his wrong doing.
Filia on the other hand was still very much angry with Xelloss. To her, he had been sneaking a 'peek' at her but fell in. A part of her hated him for doing that, but another felt like she had wanted him to at least see her in a different position.
***
5:48pm
They had arrived a bit late, mostly because Xelloss would try to keep his distance between him and Filia.
When they arrived back into town, once again they ate, but Xelloss didn't stay, all he did was give the restaurant manager the coupon and left.
He then wished he would not meet them for the next 2 days, but unfortunately for him, I'm the author so I'll put him through hell for a bit longer ^-^;
Day 2
7:15am
Everyone slept for a bit longer since there was not tour today.
Xelloss on the other hand couldn't get the hang of being a waiter. He would screw up the orders very badly. Instead of beef curry, he would get beef puree and instead of Baby duck wine, he would write down a baby duck!
Also he wasn't one with too much balance, so once in a while he would be carrying a large order of food and well…fall and lose all the food. But on a plus side he didn't see Lina or Filia or anyone he knew today! But…
***
7:55am
"Who do you think you are?" The restaurant manager yelled as Xelloss replied in a smart-ass tone.
"I'm a Mazuko priest / general and I have infinite powers!"
"Ladeda and that's good for you but you can't even balance a single order of food!"
"Well umm…"
"If I hear one more complaint about you…oh you are dead!" the manager stomped away, muttering something about know-it-alls.
"O.K…I can do this…I can - oh no!" Xelloss could feel his heart stop as Lina and company came in. "I'm dead…"
***

7:56am
"Oh man I'm hungry!" Lina said as she and everyone took a seat at one of the tables. "Hey! Where is the waiter?"
"Over here…" Xelloss sighed as he sadly waved.
"Xelloss?!?" Everyone yelled in shock as Filia moved a bit farther from Xelloss's direction.
"Why are you - oh wait your odd jobs aye?" Lina said as Xelloss was in a little chibi state.
***
8:21am
Everyone was groaning, it had been close to half an hour and still Xelloss was trying to get down everything.
"O.K so one more time…everyone wanted an order of water…right?" Xelloss said slowly as everyone groaned once more.
"Yyyyyyyeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssss……….." Lina said in an inhuman voice.
"O.K then, now that wasn't so hard? Was it?" Xelloss scratched the back of his head as everyone's face faulted. "I'll be back with your water" and with that he ran towards the kitchen…but crashed into another waiter whom was carrying a hot-pot dish…

***
8:22am
Everyone leaves as Xelloss runs around with the hot-pot all over his face.
On the table was a little evaluation card.
Was the service fast? Poor, Average, Good
Was the waiter polite? Poor, Average, Good
Did you enjoy your time here? No, Yes
We enjoyed your presence here. Have a nice day!
*Outside*
"Miss Lina! That was cruel!" Amelia complained as Filia just said.
"I think that's what he deserved!"
***
10:01am
In the Farmer's Market…Everyone was interested at what the local farmers and blacksmiths had to offer. Lina, Gourry and Amelia were more interested in the food since they hadn't had breakfast yet…due to a certain Mazuko. Filia was going nuts at the wide selection of pottery they had. And poor old Zelgadis was being forced to carry all the pottery Filia did buy…
"Wow! Look at these!" Filia was acting like a kid in a candy store…while Zelgadis was trying not to drop any of the 10 vases and other pottery related things.
Her attention was then set upon a nice tea set. It had little butterflies painted on it and was white. "Ohhhhhh I must have it!" Filia screamed as she ran towards it with Zelgadis slowly following.
"I hate my life…" he mumbled.

Xelloss too wasn't quite happy about his arrangements either. He was forced to dress in overalls and the old, perverted farmer of whom he was working for was asleep. As well…he was selling tea sets…
"Tea sets…I mean come on! Couldn't that old pig just…just make something more useful?" he sighed as suddenly the familiar voice of Filia was heard. He then ducked underneath the table, hiding since he was still certain she hadn't quite recovered from 'yesterday's' encounter.
"Wow!" Filia was amazed by the craftsmanship in each little cup, plate and pot. She look around, she didn't see anyone except for some old guy sleeping at the back on a chair.
"Umm…mister?" Filia asked as the old man slowly awoke. Upon seeing Filia, the old man got to his feet.
"Why hello there pretty lady!" the old man was summoning all of his umm…charm (The author by now has a sweat drop upon face) "So what'll you buy?"
"I'll take this tea set!" Filia held up the tea set as the old man then stated.
"Those aren't for sell" Filia's face faulted.
"But, but…" The old farmer then offered her another 'arrangement'
"I'll give them to you if you want to spend a little time with me…" The old man was winking as Filia's face was red with embarrassment.
"No…no way!" Filia yelled as she turned around and stomped off, Zelgadis was just about there when he saw Filia moving away. He sighed and moved on.
Xelloss on the other hand got away from his hiding spot and stared at the old, perverted farmer.
"What?" the farmer asked as Xelloss still stared. "If ain't like you didn't have any natural urges sonny!" Xelloss stared had now dwindled to an odd look as another sweat drop appeared.
"Can I just have the tea set?" he asked.
"Sure, but what would a grown man want with such a girly…oh I know…*wink* you're one of those special people with special needs right…"
"NO!!!!!" Xelloss yelled as he pulled back by shock. "I ain't a…you know…"Xelloss whispered as the old man yelled out.
"Gay?"
"I ain't gay!"
"Sure…"
"Well…I'm taking the set and going so good bye!" Xelloss took the set, his clothing and disappeared into the crowd.
The old man shrugged and thought, "He was a nice fellow…even though he tries to lie to himself…oh well!" and with that the farmer sat back down on his chair and fell asleep.
***
11:34am
Xelloss broke into Filia's room and dropped off a large, red box with a black bow on it. Attached to it was a little card saying "Peace offering" spelled out in big, black letters.
***
12:05pm
Filia finds mysterious box in her room and thinks it's a bomb.
***
1:02pm
The Box is blown up by one of Lina's Fireball spells outside of hotel.
***
6:14pm
Everyone arrives at the "Large Hippo" Family restaurant. Everyone got in as adults except for poor Amelia; Lina had convinced the manager that she was under 9.
"Lina!" Amelia complained as Lina giggled.
"What?"
"It was bad when you said I was under 9 but come on! Dino nuggets? I ain't no little kid!" Amelia protested as Lina hushed her.
"Be quiet Amelia! The food is coming!"
A large convoy of waiters approached them, 7 in all. Each carried a large dish, covered by large, metal cover. (Sorry! Don't know what the proper word is for them)
"Oh wow!" The sight of food overjoyed Lina. Everyone was ready to eat…that was until the cover was lifted…
A foul, green cloud choked everyone, this surprised even the waiters…
"The…the smell…" Filia gasped for air as the horrid smell reminded her of Lina's story about Xelloss's cooking.
"That…that Mazuko!" Lina choked as Xelloss walked out of the kitchen door, wearing an apron with a proud look on his face. Oddly enough, the words 'Kiss the Chief' was ironically the opposite of what everyone was thinking.
"Oh hello Lina! Filia! Gourry! Zelgadis and Amelia!" he waved to them as they slowly got up, their face's full of anger and repulsiveness from the foul food.
Needless to say…there is one less "Large Hippo" restaurant around…and of course one less cook working for them…(No he did not die…instead he was forced to eat his own cooking…a fate worse then death…)
Day 3
8:46am
Everyone was still suffering from last night, all except for poor Filia. The other night, she had opened her window so that the night air would clear her head of the retched odor from the foul food.
But now it was jammed, plus the 'night' air had given her the cold…
So she had told the desk clerk about her woes. He had said to stay in her room for now until the repairperson came. So Filia stayed in her room, fighting the urge to drink a bottle of hot sauce that was at the pub.
***
9:01am
"Hmmm…" Xelloss thought as he was given the room number by the desk clerk. Also he had been given some medicine for the tourist. The medicine was in a glass bottle and had a cork on it.
"Jammed window huh?" he thought as he approached the room. He opened the door with the key and to his surprise he saw Filia.
She was asleep on her bed with a large cotton blanket wrapped around her.
Xelloss upon seeing her, had fled back to the safety of the hallway. He was puffing as he still clearly remembered yesterday. "Come on…you can't be afraid of such a…of a…little dragon now can I?" he thought as he peered over again. "She's asleep, no trouble for me if I do everything quietly" he thought as he started to walk in slowly. "Besides…I gave her that tea set…" his face turned blue as he remembered the perverted farmer. "I'm not gay…" he sighed as he reached the window.
He took out his trusty staff and jammed it into the window's hinges. He pulled and even pushed, but it would not submit! After 5 minutes of this, he kicked at it and the window finally closed…on his foot…
He cringed with pain as he tried to keep himself from yelling out loud. "Damn…" he thought as he could hear Filia starting to wake up. "Oh no…" he was panicking, so he did what was the most logically sound idea at the time. He threw the glass bottle of medicine at Filia's head, knocking her out and creating a large, red bump on her head.
He then slowly opened the window again and then closed it. He then limped out the room.
***
9:49am
Filia awoke to find she had a headache and a large bump on her head. She no longer suffered from the cold; instead she felt the throbbing pain.
"What happened?" she thought as she sat back in bed and fell asleep again so she could sleep it off.
***
11:27am
Filia had got up again, she felt much better since she had rid herself of the headache and had removed the bump with a heal spell.
She then dressed herself and had gone downstairs to the pub where she found everyone eating.
***
1:01pm
Filia went around, trying to find someone to go with to the theater but she found no one. You see her problem was that no man thought they would have a chance with her so they just avoided her.
So she just paid a man around 24 with black hair and brown eyes to go with her. He was wearing Black jeans and a vest of the same color, underneath the vest was a white shirt.
***
3:47pm
Xelloss really enjoyed working as the ticket seller. It was a rewarding job with a lot of happy faces around. Ahh those 'happy faces, so unhappy and complaining people. Today was a play called, "One Lie Equals To One Kiss" by a local writer.
It was about how two people disliked each other, but it was really because they liked each other, so when one of them had got in trouble, the other had lied and had been punished. Later when they both meet, they confessed their true feelings and had kissed under the full moon.
To Xelloss, it was too mushy and he couldn't understand humans too well, but hey! Money doesn't grow on trees! Well at least not on this world…
Suddenly he saw Lina and Gourry come up, he nodded without saying anything and gave them their tickets. Same thing happened with Zelgadis and Amelia, except she had done one of those speeches about how good it felt to earn a living without having to hurt anyone. Xelloss just sweat dropped and thought how stupid it was to believe that not hurting anyone was wrong.
Then…he saw Filia and some person come up to the booth. Filia had a big smirk on her face as if saying: "IfoundadateandyouarestucksellingticketsyousillyMazuko!"
Xelloss himself found that this was amusing. "O.K then, one general ticket and one senior ticket, right granny!" he grinned as Filia could feel the anger swell up in her. But the most annoying comment was to come.
Xelloss said in a low voice that only Filia could hear, he then said, "I didn't think you would resort to being a prostitute so that you could find a date!" Filia had enough, she grabbed Xelloss and gave him a powerful punch to the face, sending him flying from the small, wooden ticket booth and into the fountain…
***
7:21pm
Because of Filia and Xelloss, the play had been cancelled and her date scared off.
Now she sat alone in her room, feeling sorry for herself. "Stupid trash!" she thought as her tail swished back and forth. "He shouldn't have made those comments" she thought as she looked out the window. The pub downstairs had a large crowd today, so the noise was rather noisy.
"He wants me to be paranoid doesn't he?" she thought as she dragged herself off the bed and to the door. "I'll show him! I'll have as much fun as I can until my vacation is over!" she smiled as she opened the door to her room and walked downstairs. "Maybe I'll find Mr. Right?" she thought, "Or even a Dragon!"
***
7:24pm
Filia had reached the foot of the pub; by now a lot of the people had left cause it was getting late, so it wasn't hard to get herself some tea. She spent an hour sitting and drinking tea. To her this was heaven, to enjoy her favorite drink and to have not a care in the world. Then she saw him. Xelloss was at the other side of the bar; he was paying the pub owner for his previous drinks.
"That…that garbage!" she got up to confront him. "He's trying to ruin my life!" she grabbed him by the shoulder and looked coldly into his face. "YOU!" she growled as Xelloss just grinned at her.
"So I guess that you are finished with that man huh?" he said as once again her blood was boiling, and that led to her tail appearing. A bunch of people saw her tail and were staring at her.
Filia by now knew this and had forgotten about Xelloss. Her mind raced as Xelloss just walked behind her. He removed his cloak and threw it around her back, so that it would cover her tail from prying eyes. He then grabbed her and kissed her.
Filia was blushing; she could feel his arms wrapped around her as she then slowly closed her eyes. She relaxed and her tail vanished. Once that happened, Xelloss released her and looked at the people with a peeved look on his face.
"What are you bunch staring at?" he demanded as one of the people pointed at Filia and started to say in a drunken voice. "Sh…she has a t…t…"
"A tongue?" Xelloss cut in as he opened one eye and said, "Yes she has a tongue Mr. Drunk! And she knows how to use it!" Filia smiled at him, trying to keep herself from not laughing at what Xelloss was playing around.
The astounded bunch of drunks slowly returned back to normal, drinking beer and thinking that they were imagining that Filia had a tail.
Xelloss then lead Filia out of the hotel / pub and to the streets. The outside lamps had been lit and the sun had gone down. Moths darted back and forth in front of the lamps as the sounds of crickets were plainly heard. Filia unknowingly had her head resting on Xelloss's shoulder; she still blushed and felt that she was in a dream. His cloak was still around her.
They walked for a while, basking in the raging silence around them, then she felt herself on the bed in the hotel. Xelloss was on top of her with a smirk on his face. He whispered, "Someday I'll ask for a favor and you'll agree O.K?" he said as Filia slowly nodded. "Good, I'll leave you to sleep" he gave her one last parting kiss as he then disappeared from her sight. "Good night Xelloss…" Filia whispered to herself, "And thank you…"
***
Xelloss had returned back to BeastMaster, it was then he had been briefed on what a summer vacation was really like.
"Oh I see now!" Xelloss said as he scratched the back of his head, trying to rid himself of the omni present sweat drop.
"What did you think it was? That I was firing you?" She chuckled, as Xelloss grew nervous again.
"No…not at all!" he replied.
"So…what did you do?" she asked as Xelloss turned into a chibi.
"Oh nothing really!" ^-^
The End!
Well I know at the beginning some of the characters were OOC but hey! I've had very little sleep! Sue me! Well I'm still listening to Blink…wow it's 1:51am! Better get to bed! See yeah!
~ DarkRavenLord
To deny a life of your soul
Is to commit numerous murders
~ ???