Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Slayers: Knightfall ❯ chapter 29 ( Chapter 30 )

Slayers: Knightfall

 

Chapter Twenty-Nine

 

I knew that my resurrection hadn't quite gone according to plan when I awoke surrounded by scenery of the pitch-black kind. It was cramped too; I could barely move, and I couldn't breathe. It was almost as if I were buried alive . . .

 

Ah, shit.

 

I thrashed and shook my body, trying to break out of my earthly prison, all the while praying I wasn't literally six feet under. It dawned on me, while clawing and scraping my way out, that if I had died there, I'd be the only person in existence to have died, been brought back to life, and died immediately thereafter in her own grave. But that was one title I would rather do without, along with several others that I already own.

 

Queen of Hades and The Dark Lord's Leftovers for starters . . .

 

Desperately, I thrust out above me, and my arm suddenly felt cool and unhindered.

 

Thank Sylpheed. I'm only covered no more than a couple feet.

 

With a ragged gasp, I pulled myself up and out of my supposedly final resting place. I rested on my elbows, coughing up dirt and shaking the soil out of my hair. I took a brief look around and found that I was still in the Vale of Shadows. Whee.

 

“Oh, my gods! She's come back as a zombie!” yelped a wondrously wonderful voice.

 

I looked over at poor Gourry, who looked freaked the frak out.

 

“Thaaaat's riiiiight, Gooouuuurry!” I put on my best undead voice. “I'm gonna kiss yer brains out!”

 

“Kiss? I thought zombies ate-- oh. Oh!” Fastest realization ever for him, I'd guess.

 

I did just what I'd spookily promised, though. Not that Gourry had any brains to begin with . . . Still, not a bad way to spend the first few minutes of your first day back from the dead.

 

“Why are -- how did -- how? Just how?” Gourry asked, hoisting me up in his arms and spinning me around like my dad did when I was little.

 

“Long story short: The Earth Lord sent me back to kick some Ruby-Eyed Ass.”

 

“As good a reason as any, and I would've taken any,” Gourry said. “I thought I had lost you forever.”

 

I couldn't make eye contact with him when I said, “S-sorry.”

 

Gourry gently lifted my chin to meet his eyes. “For what?”

 

“A long time ago, you made me promise that I wouldn't take any stupid risks that would get me killed,” I said, pulling my chin away and chuckling lightly. “It looks like actually getting killed was what it took to get me to take that promise seriously.”

 

Gourry looked pretty uncomfortable for a moment, which led me believe that he really had to go to the bathroom and had been holding it ever since I came back. I dunno.

 

“I don't know how quite to put this but . . . ,” said Gourry, sounding apprehensive.

 

“But?”

“I totally don't remember making you do that.”

 

I promptly fell face first into the dirt.

 

“I guess you're off the hook though, huh!” he laughed. The jerk laughed!

 

“You imbecile!”

 

“Then again,” said the Blond Buffoon, completely ignoring my fury, “Aren't I the one who's supposed to protect you from harm? I'm pretty sure that includes your own recklessness.”

 

Suddenly he grabbed my hands and shot me the sappiest, most shoujo look I had ever seen from him. I coulda sworn that I saw pink bubbles and rainbow-colored sparkles flit by.

 

“I failed you this one time and it nearly destroyed me. I swear to you that I'll never let anything touch you again.”

 

“Gourry,” I softly said, my heart aflutter before I smacked him upside the head. “Get real! You can't pull off lines like that!” I can't stay mad at him forever, I thought as I laughed.

 

“Come' ere,” I commanded, grabbing the neck of Gourry's shirt and drawing him in close. “This is how you properly apologize to Lina Inverse.”

 

Commence Half-a-Day-Long-Making-Out Session.

Canceled.

 

“Amelia! Zel!?” I suddenly remembered that we might have bigger concerns than our kinky woodland lovemaking. I threw Gourry off me and he probably landed on a rock, judging from the pained “oomph” sound he made.

 

He dragged himself up and said. “The fighting noises stopped soon after Aiden dragged Stridus away from the temple. I tried to get inside the temple, but that black stuff kept repelling me.”

 

“Crap. Crap! CRAP!” I won't lose them, whether we're still friends or not. I am not going to have their deaths on my conscience!

 

“We gotta get back to that temple! Lead the way!” I screamed, grabbing Gourry's arm and dragging him through the forest, unaware that I was preventing him from guiding me in any useful way.

 

Still, somehow we soon reached the temple -- the place of my death, but I prayed, not Amelia and Zel's. Yes, prayed, and for once not feeling as if I were pulling my own teeth while doing it.

 

I gazed at the looming monument of my destiny, apprehensive and excited but knowing that nothing was going to get in my way this time. Once again, I grabbed Gourry's arm, then I charged the temple steps, roaring away any and all challenges that might rise up against me. We penetrated the darkness and for a moment were trapped in it. I was on the verge of freaking out, when all of a sudden a golden glow allowed our eyes to see again.

 

Oh, how I wished that they couldn't, once I saw the swirling, vomit-inducing, multicolored, chaotic maelstrom all around us. Shades, distorted and flowing, swam every which way before us, mouths open in silent screams of agony and anguish, grabbing and tearing at us, and somehow actually physically touching us!

 

If this is the Sea of Chaos, I'm going to be very angry.

 

Gourry pulled out his sword, slashing and stabbing at the blackened husks, while I tried blowing them away with spells. It was no good though; even while the Shades were blown apart and dashed to pieces, they still would not die! Limbs, skulls, even internal organs would grab onto us and refuse to let go! Their strength was laughable at best; we felt barely a hint of resistance, except from one of them. But just one shade latching on wasn't what was worrying me. (Hey, four words starting with “w”!) Anyway, the thing I feared was, what if every shade we saw (which were numerous) grabbed hold and dragged us into that huge gaping maw of hideous darkness with golden eyes peering up from below us? That would truly suck.

 

“Ah, shit! I can't shake them loose!” cried Gourry, desperately fending off newcomers who apparently thought their buddies looked like they were having a grand ol' time pulling two humans down into oblivion.

 

We were indeed in the Realm of Chaos then. Farther and farther down toward the void we drew, and harder and harder we fought to climb back up. Flight seemed to be a natural thing in this plane, not requiring magic. I could hear laughing from deep within the pit, dark, and female, and horrendously wicked.

 

I had to do something fast, as I had a feeling I would meet my mistress in the very near future if I didn't.

 

Those things grabbing onto us, dragging us down, were part of the physical reality of the realm. Gourry and I could damage but not kill them with our swords and sorcery. Well, let's try something a little different, shall we? If it doesn't work, I doubt much of me will exist to care.

 

I focused my rage at Gourry's and my predicament -- being cast into the pit. To be thrown into the threshold of the Sea of Chaos so soon after being brought back to life! I had plans! And they didn't involve not existing!

 

The already golden hue of this plane didn't change much, but I could surely feel the drain on my reserves, though not as intensely as I once had. Sure enough, a dozen perfect spheres of nihility appeared before me, and I willed them to destroy the shades.

 

Just as the balls were about to start, the world shifted. It was darkness again; the shades still felt attached to me, but something felt . . .normal.

 

“Lina!” Gourry cried frantically. “Get them off! Get them off!”

 

“Lighting!” My pale blue orb illuminated the ancient stone room we found ourselves within.

 

I also found the Blond Bruiser rolling around on the floor, whimpering like a little girl.

 

Protector indeed . . .

 

“Calm down, you tool! We're just covered in spider webs,” I said. Once he regained his presence of mind, I cast an extremely low-powered fireball to quickly rid us of those sticky annoyances.

 

“What in the hell was that?” Gourry asked.

 

“Hell if I know.” I shrugged, though I had a few suspicions. “A test maybe? To see if I was really the Knightmare? Or maybe this place is full of illusion traps? Either way, we'd better stay on our guard.”

 

“That's all I ever stay on when I'm with you,” he said, his tone implying it was a joke. But it didn't make me feel any better; I am about 90 percent of the reason my friends are in constant danger.

 

Not any longer though. Once I get that shard, nobody is going to be in danger again.

 

“Come on,” I said. “Let's see if we can find Zel and Amelia.”

 

I led us on through the gloomy ruins. Though the walls lacked any sort of relief or carvings, faded hieroglyphics and murals kept the tunnels from being too mind-numbingly dull. I couldn't recognize any of the symbols, but they somehow put my mind at ease, despite my worries for my friends.

 

“Kheehyaaaaaah!”

 

So much for not worrying.

 

“What was that?” Gourry asked.

 

“Amelia!” I had never heard her scream like that. “”Double-time it! Move!”

 

Somehow knowing where to lead us, maybe due to the doorless halls that only deviated in right angles, I encountered a room saturated in black mist.

 

“I don't care!” screamed Zel's voice from somewhere in the fog. “You can't convince me that I'll be like this forever!”

 

“No!” cried … Naga? They'd decided to drag her with them too? “Mother!? Mother! NO!”

 

“I'm getting them out of here,” growled Gourry, trying to stride into that bit of nastiness, but I stopped him with a hold to the elbow.

 

“Wait. Going into that probably isn't the greatest idea you'd ever had, jellyfish.”

 

“Oh, what? I don't think we should just leave them like this,” Gourry retorted incredulously.

 

“Think! You go into that and you'd end up just like they are,” I explained, trying to get through to the blonde's overly chivalrous nature. “It tears me up inside, every second they are trapped, but we won't be any help to them if we end up cursed as well!” It was rather strange, now that I think back on it. It didn't even occur to me then, when they were in danger, that I had abandoned Zel and Amelia in one of the worst ways possible. I just wanted to get them out, make them safe, in one of the rare moments in which I wasn't thinking only of myself.

 

“Then what do you suggest we do?” Gourry sounded more worried than accusatory. “If only I had my old sword back, I could cut this crap in a blink!”

 

Maybe if you ask very nicely, Valgaav will lend you his . . . or not.

 

“I dunno! Just give me a moment to think!” The terrified and anguished screams of Zel, Amelia and Naga did not help me focus, but I managed anyway.

 

I could feel no bloodlust; in fact I could sense no other presences besides our own in this room. My friends were in obvious pain, but it seemed to be psychological in nature, almost as if they were having a waking nightmare . . .

 

I let myself get angry once again, letting Knightmare mode take over, but it was no good. I still couldn't penetrate the thick gloom. Then I remembered the torc I'd been given in the afterlife. The torc with the twin crow heads that can allow me to peer into the Astral Plane.

 

Definitely worth a shot, I thought with a shrug as I pinched shot the crow's beaks and watched my word become a psycodelic freak-out. Through the nonsensical purple and black swirls and strobes, I could make out the blue, shimmering outlines of my two friends plus Naga. Above them was the biggest, nastiest looking monstrosity I had ever seen. It was a beast in the form of a man, yet it was obviously made up of Shades . . .a whole shit storm of them, all writhing and jerking in their own uniquely bizarre and terrifying way.

 

I was wondering why I hadn't seen any in a while. They've all been here this entire time, having what looks like the freakiest orgy I have ever seen . . .not that I've seen any before . . . Shut up.

 

It stood, hovering over the heads of my three anguished companions, filling their heads with . . . whatever it was they were most afraid of, I would imagine.

 

“Hey, ugly!” I taunted it, and the Beast with a thousand faces looked startled about that many times, all at the same time, probably at the mere fact that I could see and speak to it in the Astral Plane.

 

“You're hurting my friends,” I snarled. “Unless you've got a good reason for doing so, and I really think you do not, you're gonna feel the pain of having each and every one of your thousand pairs of nads vanquished to the Sea of Chaos.”

 

A decent enough threat, methinks.

 

Instead of quivering in fear or charging in a rage, like most of the monsters and idiots I insult do, the Shade Beast just ratcheted up its already considerable creepiness factor by ten -- by laughing. If you can imagine a thousand rasping and choking voices that have been dead for who knows how long laughing, then stop; there are enough crazy people in the world without having to add you to the mix.

 

Mesmerized by the creature's laughter, I almost didn't notice the grand and sweeping bow it was offering. Low and respectful, the Shade Beast backed away from my friends' Astral bodies and faded into oblivion.

 

I breathed a sigh of relief, flicked the crows' beaks back open and returned to the land of normal. Sure enough, the black mist was gone.

 

Well, as normal as it gets for me, lately.

 

I ran over to the prone body of Amelia, as Gourry was already tending to Zel. I put an ear to her chest, trying very hard to suppress sudden envy at her more than ample breast. I didn't even want to check on Naga. I've had those twin horrors shoved in my face far too many times to willingly come back for more.

 

Good, still beating and still breathing. Probably just mentally exhausted.

 

“Holy crap, this place is crazy,” I muttered aloud.

 

“Tell that to him,” Gourry said, pointing up and over my shoulder. “Maybe he's open to suggestions?”

 

“And who's “he”?” I asked, spinning around to get a look at our visitor. Or, perhaps our host?

 

“I am Lucidia,” replied the most normal looking Shade I had ever seen, which wasn't saying much, by the way. It -- because neither its build nor voice gave its gender away -- was garbed in burnt and flaking robes of darkest purple, which drifted to the soles of its feet. The robes of a priest, or priestess, adorned only with a golden eye in the center of thes chest. Small to medium-sized chunks of this being continually dissolved and reconstituted themselves in a suitably chaotic way.

 

“Lucidia,” it continued, for I was too stunned to see a Shade speak to interrupt. The Shade's voice was like fire and rust, grating and crackling simultaneously, yet demanding attention. “The last of those who worshipped our Mother. As well as the most devout, as it was I who was chosen by our Creator to continue in this state of living death in order to cater to future and present Knightmares.”

 

“Wait,” I finally found my voice. “You were the one who did that to my friends?” I yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at my sleeping companions.

 

“Yes,” Lucidia replied emotionlessly. “They were trespassers. I patiently waited for them to leave for nearly two months before I gave them want they wanted: Access to this place. I extinguished the darkness around the entrance and led them here that they might have the merest taste of the Lord of Nightmares' power.”

 

That would explain the nightmares.

 

I was so angry right then that I couldn't even speak. That was saying something, Physical pain is something to be expected on a battlefield, but forcing people to endure their worst nightmares for however long I was dead, up to now, was simply beyond sadistic.

 

“Oh, don't be angry,” the freak pleaded halfheartedly, his emotions apparently coming to the surface. “They aren't permanently damaged. They'll come around soon enough.”

 

“'Don't be angry'!?” Gourry vocalized both our sentiments. “You aren't leaving us much choice to be anything but!”

 

I put out an arm to silently ask Gourry to back down. There was no way we could kill this thing. It partially existed on the Sea of Chaos. Even with full use of my abilities, it would be a fool's errand to try to inflict anything upon Lucidia -- or any other Shade, for that matter.

 

Despite knowing all this, I decided to try and bluff it anyway.

 

“You know,” I said, slyly I hoped, “I just might be willing to forgive you if you are willing to answer a few questions.”

 

“Lina?” Gourry didn't seem too thrilled with letting the dead priest off the hook, but I didn't feel like explaining my line of reasoning to him just yet.

 

“Whether or not you forgive me is beyond my caring. But I am required to answer any and all question you may have pertaining to the Lord of Nightmares and your station as her Knightmare.” Lucidia rasped.

 

“Good enough, then.” I growled my anger into the pit of my stomach, where it would fester and grow until a bandit nest could be found upon which to properly vent it.

 

“First question: Why was I chosen to be the Knightmare? Why not some other shmuck found off the street?”

 

“That answer is something only the Lord of Nightmares herself knows,” answered Lucidia.

 

How amazingly helpful you are . . . prick.

 

“However,” the priest went on. “In my tenure as . . .curator of this temple, I have witnessed the comings and goings of hundreds, if not thousand of Knightmares and have made some observations on the general character of those chosen by Her Chaotic Radiance.”

 

Thousands? I thought I was one of but maybe a few at most. How old really is this temple? Chaotic Radiance?

 

Lucidia cleared its throat, a really gross sound, coming from that creature. “Loud, arrogant, greedy and selfish, yet with a capacity for love and self-sacrifice like no other beings, the Knightmares are comprised of the best and the worst of humanity -- or whatever species the Lord deigns to pick from -- all rolled into one highly unstable and chaotic package. That is the archetype of a Knightmare.

 

“And you, Miss Inverse, fit the bill perfectly.”

 

“Gee, thanks for your overly honest, yet completely useless answer to my question. Maybe your next one will be a little better as my question is a bit more theoretical.

 

“I know why the Knights of gods and demons exist, but why the need for a Knightmare? The world is a screwed up place already without boneheads like me messing it up even more.”

 

“Ah, an easy one. You see, the Golden Lord is a capricious, flippant and easily bored Creature. When She created all, she hadn't planned on life beginning, much less `gods' and `demons' warring to gain control over what sentient life did develop. Gods and demons are odd things; they exist only because beings with thought created them, wishing to believe that there was something beyond them. That wish was so fervent and pure that gods and demons, the highest ideals and basest desires of whoever thought them up, gained physical form.

 

“The Lord was amused by this, watching `divine' and `demonic' beings that were indeed the two aspects of Herself, created by this `life' that She created. Amused and depressed. Enthralled as She was, She was also becoming lonely. While She could watch from afar like a Lady at a play, She could not directly join in or alter the events of the infinite worlds She made. After all, pure Chaos cannot co-exist with this world without utterly annihilating it.”

 

I couldn't help but think of the Giga Slave as he spoke that last line.

 

“If She couldn't alter the script, change the sets or direct the drama Herself, then why not throw in Her own actors? A small piece of Her power gifted to a being that best represented Her ideals would be just as good, if not more so, than actually doing everything Herself, and without the risk of destroying Her amusement. This way, She can be surprised. This way, through Her Knightmares, the worlds can be connected to Her, if only in this small way.

 

“While She longs to be one with Her creations, to be what She was like in days long forgotten, She is willing to settle for throwing Her own special kind of wrenches into the `grand scheme' you mortals like to call life.”

 

I didn't know how to react to all of that. It was too much information to take in all at once. As lacking in detail and abridged as it was; what Lucidia had said made complete and total sense. Finally, all of the jumbled mutterings that piece of shit called the Claire Bible had spewed at me about the Lord of Nightmares were starting to make some real sense.

 

I didn't like the fact that in the grand scheme I was little more than an unexpected plot twist in the “play” of our universe. (Kinda like Xellos, now that I think of it). But then again, the Mother of All wasn't denying my free will either, unlike certain, scaly-tailed servants of Sylpheed and Gaav that I could mention.

 

But this thing about the gods and demons . . .damn, just damn. The more I think about it, though, the more things truly start to click into place. If the gods and demons were really all powerful, then why could they be destroyed?

 

Bear with me. This is gonna get complicated.

 

I've seen people deny one god or demon or the other as their attitudes dictate, but it is nearly impossible to deny both. For instance: A thief may deny that both exist and claim there is only fate for his victims to blame. But in reality he is serving and sustaining demons by satisfying his own greed and inflicting pain on others.

 

Trying to deny both demons and gods, on the other hand, is completely denying what it is to be human … or whatever you are, fishmen, for all I care.

 

In essence, no matter what an individual thinks, the gods and demons are going to exist, because they are the embodiments of the subconscious ideals and desires that sentient beings on the whole share. This is why it is so difficult for a single or even a group of humans to defeat a lone demon; in most cases their will isn't strong enough to overcome that of a larger group, from which, in essence, a demon derives its power. Each of us has a power to deny the “higher powers,” but it is a difficult thing to harness.

 

Intrigued? I thought you would be. As the Claire Bible once said to me, “To destroy a demon of great power, one must possess an even greater power.” This works for gods as well. But what is this “greater power,” you ask?

 

Why the answer is simple: Free will.

 

Pure and simple, the embodiment of the Lord of Nightmares, the truth of Chaos itself.

 

Who doesn't want to be his own man or her own woman? Who secretly resents it when asked to do something? Even if a person mightily enjoys the task at hand, he still is aggravated slightly by the affront to his free will. To think, do, rest, sleep, take, believe, know, love, hate, kill, show mercy -- to do anything, whatever you desire. That is what all people in the world, in the deepest, darkest depths of their souls, truly desire, yet are so afraid to actually obtain. But they would be unstoppable if they could.

 

The Giga Slave, the Ragna Blade, all my repertoire of Nightmare Magic, the purest representation of chaos, the antithesis of the maddeningly structured world our weak minds created for us so long ago. Gods, demons, rules, society, all these things we created for the illusion of safety for ourselves because we can't imagine, as once again the Claire Bible puts it, “a being so vast, no mind or record can truly appreciate:”

 

In other words, free will. Chaos. The Lord of Nightmares.

 

I chuckled inwardly. Oh, those moronic demons always are spouting off about abandoning the gods and having freedom. If they were truly free, they wouldn't care about humans one way or the other. But then again, being what they are and coming from where they came from, they can never have free will. For that, I truly pitied them.

 

“Oh,” I weakly gasped. Like I said earlier, it was a lot to take in all at once.

 

“You are finally starting to understand. It will make things easier for you in the end, I believe. You now understand what the Lord of Nightmares truly is, but you are still a way from truly accepting it. Once you do, however, nothing in this world, or any other for that matter, will be able to deny your free will.” Lucidia seemed to be smiling, despite the fact that the musculature of its face was mostly charred away.

 

“Any other questions?”

 

“Wha-? Uh, no thanks. I think I'm just going to sit here for a while. Do you have anything to eat in this joint?” Langort had neglected to reincarnate food into my growling belly.

 

“We've evolved beyond the need for food, Miss Inverse.”

 

“But I'm hungry and my brain hurts!”

 

“Perhaps I can solve one of these for you.”

 

“Aha! I knew you had food!”

 

“No, but I have my Shard that you've been questing for so long.”

 

“That works too,” I jumped to my feet and kicked Gourry in the shins to wake him up.

 

“Morning, Sunshine, what's for breakfast?” the goof said, yawning.

 

“Destiny, I do believe. Sweet wonderful destiny.” I smiled.

 

“What's that taste like?”

 

SMACK!

 

“Ow.”

 

My hunger momentarily forgotten, I followed Lucidia with a literal skip in my step. At last! At long last I was fulfilling my sister's dying wish and gaining the power necessarily to carry on with my destiny! I looked back at the still sleeping Amelia, Zel and Naga, a tad worried, but I figured Lucidia was done tormenting them, now that I had come.

 

Soon, though not soon enough by my measure, we finally entered what was probably deemed the inner sanctum. In the middle of the surprisingly plain-looking room, a small set of stairs led to a platform, which had a staff of about six feet in length standing upright in its center.

 

It was blacker than black.

 

“Is that what I think it is?” My mouth went dry, as I couldn't believe what I was actually seeing.

 

“Yes, the Staff of the World lies before you,” Lucidia confirmed. “Demons have a hell of a hard time finding it because it is in a place that they cannot even reach. But, if all sentient lives on this world were to turn to evil, or those worshipping the gods were to be destroyed, then they could easily enter this place and smash this Staff, ending this world's existence. You see, the reason why gods and demons cannot enter this place is because they each only represent only half of our Lord's demeanor. The Vale is truly tied to Her essence. To enter this place, a god or demon has to accept something other than himself, and then go mad and be destroyed.

 

“But I think that, perhaps, what should interest you even more is floating gently above the Staff.”

 

Indeed it was. The Shard of Lucidia, a black crystal emanating a golden glow. It was beautiful yet hideous beyond any degree that I could describe verbally.

 

A strange feeling came over me. For once, I didn't really know what to do. Perhaps it was because I couldn't quite believe that I was finally at the end of my quest. I looked to Lucidia, gaining his nodding assent. Then I walked up the stairs and seized my destiny, causing the world to glow as fiercely gold as I had ever experienced it.

 

A surge of power like the purest of cool streams, yet also like the most hellish heat of a volcano, invigorated me, scoured me and rebuilt me. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before, joyous and terrifying all at once, but neither at the same time. It was a thousand -- no, a million times more intense than when I first became a Knightmare.

 

I could see time uncompressed, the future, past, present, all laid bare before my eyes, yet so quickly that I couldn't make much sense of it.

 

I could see the miniscule beyond miniscule components of the world, how they interacted with each other and how I could use them to create and destroy.

 

I looked down at my body, radiating gold and saw that I was --

 

“Oh great Sylpheed, I'm pregnant!”

 

The world reverted to its normal hues, and I found myself swimming in a sea of giddy glee and nervous jitters. There it was: A small, vaguely human-looking lump of flesh, sitting all high and mighty inside my womb!

 

Gourry gently steadied me as he lowered us to the ground. With a gleam in his eyes and his mouth agape, he asked. “Are you serious?”

 

“Oh yeah,” I squeaked. “The world's most complicated pregnancy test is one hundred percent accurate and doesn't require me peeing in a cup.” I brought a hand up to wipe away overflowing tears of the purest happiness I had ever known. Holy crap, today is like a never-ending birthday bash for me!

 

Gourry was dumbstruck for a moment, as if processing that information was using every iota of his brain's precious little resources. Then he smiled one of the most genuine smiles I had ever seen from the man.

 

“I'm going to be a dad . . .” His voice trailed off as he fainted into my lap. Must've been a little too much for him. Hell, it's fast approaching “too much” for me as well, even though I had foreseen my pregnancy months ago. I just hadn't expected to find out right after getting the Shard.

 

But this means I was with child when I died . . .Oh, holy crap did I ever screw up. Thank you, Langort, for giving me my child back when you gave me back my life. I'll never call you a useless hippie ever again. I swear!

 

“Hmm, this is something new.” Lucidia cupped its chin in contemplation.

 

“What's that?”

 

“I've never heard of a Knightmare with child before. Most interesting indeed,” it mused.

 

Sudden panic seized me. “My new powers aren't going to hurt my kid, are they?”

 

“Oh, no. I don't think you have to worry about that. Now that you've merged with the Shard, you will find that using and maintaining your powers will be much easier; now you are drawing directly from the Sea of Chaos and much less from your own body's reserves. Unless you overdo it, your child will be just fine. But what strange destiny awaits the offspring of a Knightmare, I wonder?”

 

“Probably one no stranger than mine has already been.” I breathed a sigh of relief. Now that I've got the Shard within me, I don't need to worry about overdoing it anymore. Luckily, since the Shard was absorbed into my body, nobody can pull off on me what I had done to Stridus.

 

“Ms. Lina!” A joyous-sounding Amelia came barging into the sanctum and wrapped me in the biggest hug I had ever gotten from the girl.

 

“Amelia!” I hugged her back so fiercely that I heard her spine crack. “I missed you so much! I'm so sorry for what I did to you and Zel.”

 

“It's OK, Lina,” Amelia said, suddenly sobbing. “You were confused, I know that you aren't really evil!”

 

“Nice to know that people other than Gourry still have faith in me.”

 

“Evil women can't have babies! It's a known fact!”

 

“I-I see.” I didn't even know how to begin to explain how wrong what she'd blurted out was, but then again, she was probably so happy to be reunited with me that she didn't realize how ridiculous she sounded.

 

“Wait a minute? How'd you know? Last I saw, you were passed out on the floor.”

 

“We heard the whole exchange between you and . . .Lucidia,” Zel said as he strode into the room, eyeing the Shade with more than a hint of animosity. To which the Shade simply bowed.

 

Zel's frown didn't cease as he slowly walked closer to me. But he couldn't hold that façade forever, and his stone lined face soon cracked into a rueful smile. “No matter how hard I try, I can't stay angry at you, Lina,” he said, nodding at Amelia. “Must be her bad influence.”

 

“I really am sorry,” I apologized, somehow finding it easy to do in front of two of my best friends. “But at the same time, it was something I had to do. I would never had gotten her without joining up with Valgaav.”

 

Zel and Amelia darkened at the Ancient Dragon's name, but their anger quickly passed.

 

“Congratulations, by the way,” Zel grinned. “I hadn't expected you two to beat us, but at least now we can learn how not to raise a kid by studying how you go about it.”

 

“Wait! We were trying?” a puzzled-looking Amelia asked.

 

“Piss off!” I laughed, glad to be made the butt of the gang's jokes for once.

 

“But now that you've finally gained your powers,” said Amelia, “what do you plan to do? I know you want to eliminate Shabranigdo, but isn't being pregnant going to put a damper on any plan of action?”

 

“No, I still gotta fight,” I said, shaking my head. “How could I bring a kid into a world to be terrorized by Ruby Eye and his lackey Dolphin? No, the best thing for the kid would be to make the world safe again. Who knows? Maybe I'll even raise him-”

 

“Or her.” Amelia interjected.

 

“Or her,” I conceded -- “in Seyruun half the time and Zephillia the rest.”

 

“That would be so cool! You know you and Gourry are always welcome to drop by whenever you want! I'm sure daddy will act as if your child were his own grandchild!”

 

“It might tide him over until Amelia and I get hitched,” Zel put in.

 

“T-that would be wonderful,” I sniffed. Destiny or not, how could I have abandoned them so easily? Say what you will about that short, hairy, justice-spouting king. Prince Philionel was probably the only man outside my pops, Regald and Gourry that I truly respected. It would be an honor to have Phil as my kid's godfather.

 

After a few moments of companionable silence, I looked around. “Where's Naga, by the way?” She hadn't come in with Zel or Amelia.

 

“She said she had to go to the bathroom after we woke up,” Amelia explained. “But it shouldn't be taking her this long . . . Oh, no! Uni!” Amelia yelped and ran out the entrance.

 

I shot a look at Zel. “Uni?”

 

“Her pet unicorn that Gracia found in the woods a couple months back. Amelia took to it like a kid to a puppy, but her sister seems to think of it only as food.”

 

“Bizarre,” I said. But then again, when I last saw Naga, she was talking to bees. Wait a minute . . .Unicorn horns are used to amplify the powers of magical artifacts. “Zel! Is Naga still under the influence of the Xenasphyr?”

 

“Yes, unfortunately . . .Oh. Oh!” Zel slapped himself in the forehead. “Why didn't I think of that sooner? The Xenasphyr is trying to get Uni's horn!”

 

“If Naga gets hold of that, you can bet that the artifact will be beyond the power of Amelia's shielding box and then we'll have a whole other level of crazy to deal with.”

 

I kicked Gourry, once again in the shins, to wake him up. “Wake up, Dad, we got a super crazy, semi-intelligent amulet to deal with.”

 

“Ugh, but it's not even Tuesday yet.” Which would've sounded strange if not for the amazing coincidence that almost every overpowered magical device we've run into was destroyed on a Tuesday. Life certainly is strange at times.

 

“Way to go, big guy.” Zel slapped Gourry on the back as we ran toward the exit of the temple. Lucidia said it would prefer to wait inside but would await my return.

 

“For what?” Gourry asked stupidly.

 

“Never mind. I'm sure you'll find out in nine months, anyway.”

 

“Oh! I thought that was a dream, one of the best ones I ever had,” he said, looking at me.

 

“If this is a dream, woe be unto anyone foolish enough to wake me! Seriously! After all the shit I've been going through lately, it's about time things start looking up! And stop acting so sappy! It isn't like you!”

 

“Looking up for you at least,” Zel quipped. “Don't forget that the rest of the world is not feeling quite as happy you are.”

 

“That's the world's problem,” I retorted. “One of many I'm planning on fixing!”

 

We burst through the exit, and saw Amelia trying desperately to keep a crazed looking Naga from getting her beloved pet.

 

“Starting with that stupid Xenasphyr!”

 

 

 

Tom the Mighty's Mighty Notes.

 

Well that was a long one. And full of plot resolutions and twists to boot! Hate to end the chapter like this, but it was getting way too long. Next priority: Editing this chapter to meet my standards and getting busy on the next Chapter!

 

For those who have no idea how Zel, Amelia and Naga got to the temple before Lina did, please check out Slayers: Knightfall Interludes 1 and 2!

 

Bonus!

 

Slayers Says!

 

Lina- Oh, holy crap, I'm having a kid! Who knew that irresponsible sex in a Draco-Demon's stronghold would lead to such a thing?

 

Amelia, Zel, Xellos, Valgaav, Filia (for some reason), Dolphin, Phil, Jilas, Gravos, Zangulus, Martina, Rezo, Vrumagun, Rubia, Nunsa, Dilgear, Rodimus, Zolf, Luna, Connie, Lyos, Halcyform, Phibrizzo, Gaav, Zellas, Jacob (high priest from later books), Luke, Millennia, Memphis, Stridus, Lantz, Sylphiel, Mr. Clawfell, Christopher, Milgasia, Zanaffar, Crotz, Balgimon, Duclis, Pokota, Wizer, Gandalf the Grey, Shabranigdo, Langort, Valwyn, Sylpheed, Lina's Parents, Rahanimu, Randy, Alfred, Zuuma, Raltaak, Riksfalto, Rashatt, Sherra, Dynast, Lemmy, Gandalf the White, Regald, Bob, Gioconda, Lohi, Harold, Kumar and Neal Patrick Harris - all raise their hands.

 

Lina - Oh, uh . . . I just kinda thought that Val's ever-present and thick-in-the-air malice would act as a natural contraceptive . . .

 

Zel - You are insufferably weird and naïve at times.

 

Gourry - What's that taste like?

 

Val - Like the putrefying breath of a thousand dying worlds.

 

Filia - Stop being sad, Emo kid.

 

Val - Who the hell are you?

 

Filia - You'll see in the next book. But in another universe, after you were killed by Xellos, Lina, and me, my undying wish for your forgiveness on behalf of Golden Dragons everywhere caused you to be reincarnated so that I could raise you to be a responsible, anger-free, Ancient Dragon.

 

Val - Mommy!

 

Filia - Son!

 

Lina - Watching you two almost makes me fear being a parent.

 

Gourry - It won't be so bad, Lina. Now we can go trick or treating again!

 

Lina - Well, I'm always up for free candy . . .

 

Amelia - Don't you two think you are missing the point?

 

Lina - Free candy for everyone!

 

Xellos - I'll take the Neccoâ„¢ Wafers if nobody wants them?

 

Lina - Believe me; nobody wants them. They cause sheer misery to children who find them in their Halloween baskets.

 

Xellos - That must be why I like them so much!