Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Bowtie of doom ❯ Bowtie Of Doom ( Chapter 1 )

“Must I live in silence, that others shall be happy?
Shalt I simply snuff out my existence
Like the flame of a candle?”

“Even when it’s warm, I shiver inside.
Life seems like an empty promise, a bargain unfulfilled
Faces I fear scream at me to halt my living
But I cannot. Faces I fear to leave keep me sane.”

“For with light must come darkness
And with darkness must come me.”
TheVulpineHero1

Sonic: What’s he on?
Tails: A chair.
Shadow: He’s not on a chair, he’s standing on Knux’s head.
Sonic: No, I like camels!
TheVulpineHero1: What do you mean, what am I on? What are YOU on?
Sonic: Uh-oh, it’s Amy!
All: EWWWWWWWW!
Amy: What happened to a hello?
Tails: It flew to Las Vegas and lived happily ever after.
TheVulpineHero1: You O.K Knux?
Knuckles: You’re standing on my head, what do you think?
TheVulpineHero1: Very little.
Shadow: Hey, I haven’t spoken in a bit.
Tails: Well, yeah, you wouldn’t fit in one.
Shadow: Hey, is that Cream?
Tails: Uh-oh.
Cream: OMG!TAILS, YOU ARE SO FLUFFY!
Tails: Get a room, Cream.
Cream: Gladly!
Tails: OMG! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
Cream: Shut up and come with me…
Tails: Argggggghhhhhhhhhh…. (Gets dragged off by Cream)
TheVulpineHero1: Poor kid.
Sonic: I wish that were me.
Shadow: I wish I had a gun.
Knuckles: I wish this guy would get off my head.
Rouge: Hello, for no reason.
Knuckles: Rouge, get this freak off my head!
Rouge: Gladly. (Knocks TheVulpineHero1 off Knux’s’ head)
Knuckles: Rouge, get off my head!
Rouge: Oh, get a headucation!
All: Ooooooooooh!
Sonic: Say, where’s Tails?
(Tails runs in)
Tails: I’ve seen horrible things…
*Flashback*
Tails: Cream, what’s that?
Cream: A barber shop.
Tails: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*Gasps for breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOO!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*End flashback*
Cream: Get back here!(Drags Tails off again)
Sonic: Aw. Puppy love!
Amy: Love!?!?!
TheVulpineHero1: Puppies?!?!?!
Shadow: Aren’t you a boy?
Knuckles: I DON’T CARE IF HE’S A YETI! ROUGE, GET OFF MY HEAD!
Vector: Du du du do di dum! Team Chaotix to the rescue!
All: GET A HEADUCATION!
TheVulpineHero1: That’s enough of that!
All: Awwwwwww….
Shadow: Where’s Tails?
TheVulpineHero1: In Alaska.
Rouge: Hmmmm…
(In Alaska)
Tails: SAVE ME!
Cream: Tails, it’s only a bowtie…
Tails: But what are you doing with it?
Cream: Shut up and don’t tell.
(In Station Square)
Vanilla: You taught my daughter to do WHAT with a bowtie?!?!
Teacher: Well, that’s what you learn in Science when you’re a teenager.
Vanilla: She’s six!
Teacher: Oh.
(In nowhere)
Knuckles: WHAT AM I, A FOOTSTOOL?
Rouge: I didn’t know they taught six year olds to do THAT with a bowtie…
Amy: How did Tails get to Alaska?
Shadow: How will he get back?
TheVulpineHero1: By flying armchair, of course.
( Tails and Cream land in a flying armchair)
Shadow: Good call.
TheVulpineHero1: Sorry, I’m out of change.
Tails: Never go to the tie store, never go to the tie store…
Cream: OMG! TAILS, YOU ARE SO FLUFFY!
Knuckles: OMG!NO-ONE CARES!
TheVulpineHero1: Why doesn’t Amy show Sonic what she can do with a bowtie?
Amy: Come here Sonic…
Sonic: Save me!
Vector: What about us?
(Cream takes Tails into her room and locks the door)
Rouge: Good idea.
(Rouge drags Knux into her room and locks door)
TheVulpineHero1: They’re gonna get Headucated.
Shadow: I thought you’d had enough of that whole Headucation thing.
TheVulpineHero1: Too many cooks is worth two in the bush.
(Screams are heard from Cream & Rouge’s rooms)
Shadow: Where are Sonic and Amy?
TheVulpineHero1: In Alaska.
Shadow: Hmmmmm…
(In Alaska)
Sonic: Amy, put the bowtie down….
Amy: MUHAHAHAHAHA!
Sonic: ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
(In Station Square)
Vanilla: Arghh what?
(In Nowhere)
Shadow: Where do they teach you how to do THAT with a bowtie?
(Knuckles comes out of Rouge’s room covered in bites)
Knuckles: How did Sonic get to Alaska?
(Tails comes out of Cream’s room covered in kiss marks)
Tails: How will he get back?
Shadow: Let me guess, in a flying armchair?
TheVulpineHero1: Shadow, what are you on, you raving lunatic?
Shadow: A chair.
Knuckles: GET OFF MY HEAD!
TheVulpineHero1: They will arrive via custard propelled bowling ball.
(Sonic and Amy fly in on a custard propelled bowling ball)
Sonic & Tails: Never go to the tie store, never go to the tie store…
Knuckles: Ha ha!
TheVulpineHero1: Why doesn’t Rouge…
Rouge: Way ahead of ya.
Knuckles: May I have a last wish?
Vector: Stop ignoring us!
TheVulpineHero1: Spell it with me now! G-E-T H-E-D-U-C-A-T-E-D!
Shadow: You spelt it wrong.
(Cream ties Tails to a tree)
Sonic: Where’s Knux?
TheVulpineHero1: In…
Shadow: Alaska, we know.
TheVulpineHero1: Actually, I was going to say Hawaii. But Alaska’s better.
(In Alaska)
Knuckles: Put the bowtie down and we can talk this over…
Rouge: Talk is for the weak.
Knuckles: I knew me well…
(In Station Square)
Vanilla: That HAS to hurt.
(In Nowhere)
Shadow: I think everyone could have guessed that Rouge could do THAT with a bowtie.
Amy: I’m surprised she didn’t do it sooner.
Cream: I hope they come back soon. I need to ask Rouge to give me back my bowtie. I need it.
Tails: OMG! Not again!
Shadow: But what exactly ARE you going to do with that bowtie?
(Cream whispers in Shadow’s ear)
Shadow: GOOD JUMPING CRUMPITS!
(Shadow faints)
Sonic: How did Knuckles get to Alaska?
Tails: How will he get back?
TheVulpineHero1: Well, I don’t know. What are you all looking at me for?
(Shadow wakes up)
Shadow: They must be waiting for Knux & Rouge to come flying out of your ass.
TheVulpineHero1: Now they’re all looking at you. They must be waiting for Knux & Rouge to fly out of your ass!
Shadow: OH, NO!
(Knuckles & Rouge get off a bus)
Rouge: What’s up with Shadow?
Sonic, Tails & Knuckles: Never go to the tie store, never go to the tie store…
Cream: Can I have my bowtie back?
Tails: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
( Tails runs away, taking the tree with him)
Amy: Can I borrow it?
Sonic: ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
( Runs away in the same direction as Tails)
Rouge: Then that means…
Knuckles: Mommy!
(Runs away as well)
Cream: Then….
Shadow: Just leaving.
( Runs away as well)
Rouge: There’s only one boy left…
TheVulpineHero1: I see two. Myself and Amy. Uh-oh…
(Runs away)
Amy: Awwwwwwww….

End of chapter

Before you ask, I am TheVulpineHero1, and yes, I am a boy, thank you very much, Shadow. I would like it if you R & R. If ya don’t want to, ya don’t have to. If you didn’t like the story, get screwed. If I sound british, please don’t flame me, it’s probably cus I am british. In the next chapter, I shall try not to have the ladies act so diabolically, because it’s the guys’ turn! What do you mean I’m suffering from insanity? I’ll have you know I enjoy every minute of it! What are you other than an ass and a name? Prepare to get kicked and slandered you…(gets led away by the men in white)
Er, good bye, let’s jam some time! Oh and: Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Cream, Rouge, Jet, Wave, Storm, Big, Vector, Charmy and Espio all belong to the SEGA corporation.