Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Big Mama's B-day ❯ One-Shot
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: NekoNinja 
I originally wrote this for a contest on ff.net. A bit of crude humor all curtesy of a bit too much sugar. ^^
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.25.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 468 | Status: Completed
I originally wrote this for a contest on ff.net. A bit of crude humor all curtesy of a bit too much sugar. ^^
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.25.2002 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 468 | Status: Completed
Big Mama's B-day!
by: NekoNinja ^^
"And here I thought Big Mama was too old to have birthdays anymore," Carrot sighed.
"She must want presents," Gateau said.
"For once I agree with you," Carrot nodded. (<--mark your calenders folks ^^)
"Guys, didn't you ever think that she just wants to recapture a litttle of her humanity," Tira scolded.
Gateau and Carrot thought a little...."No," they said in unison.
"I agree with you Darling, it seems fishy that her birthday happened to be on the week that Wet Seal was having a sale," Chocolat proceeded to cling onto Carrot like a leech.
"But Big Mama wears the same outfit every day," Marron said.
"Damnit!" Carrot screamed. "That's where I went to get Mama's gift.... Here Marron, happy err...Kwanza. I've got to run to the bath room be right back," Carrot took a silvery-clearish bag out of his hyper-space pocket (tm) and gave (threw) it to Marron. He then ran off quite quickly.
"Who actually believed that," Tira asked. A few crickets chirped but the remaining Socerer Hunters didn't move. "Good."
"Darling never gives me presents like that," Chocolat whined. "What is it?"
Marron opened the bag and held up a rather large light blue shirt with a gold glittery word 'Angel' surrounded by a pair of enormously pouffy wings.
"How cute," Tira and Chocolat quipped together. Marron tried to offer it to one of the Misu sisters but both refused it.
Dotta poofed into the room. "Is everyone here? No Carrot's not, well where is he?"
"He had second thoughts about what he got for Big Mama and went to get her something else," Tira said like a child reciting for a teacher.
"Oh-well, we can't keep Big Mama waiting forever or she'll be royally pissed off." Dotta snapped her fingers and took them all from the church they were currently standing in to Big Mama's little err hole in the universe. Big Mama gave them one of her characterisitic huge-ass smiles, but that quickly turned to dissapointment when she realized that one of the quintet wasn't present.
"Where is Carrot?" she asked in a very annoyed tone.
"He'll be here soon," Tira responded, telling as much of the truth as she safely could.
Big Mama looked very dissapointed. From the look on her face she was pondering whether she should deep fry Carrot or shiscabob him.
"Maybe we can just start without Darling, he'll definatly be here soon enough," Chocolat didn't want to see Carrot slaughtered by Big Mama, at least not today.
"But Mille's bringing the cake and he's not here yet," Dotta pointed out.
"Oh yes I am," Mille zoned into Big Mama's little hole in the universe. "I got the cake, it has a special suprise in honor of the first birthday you've had since..." Mille noticed the Sorcerer Hunters (that were present) were all looking at him quiet intrestedly. "Well heh heh, I just forgot, me and my slippery memory," he let out a bit of fake 'ohohoho' laughter.
"Well," Big Mama was just a little bit more pissed than she was a second ago. "Bring in the cake and lets get the party started."
Dotta snapped her fingers and a 20 foot tall blue and lilac frosted cake that was dripping with candles warped into the realm. It looked all the world like a lighthouse on fire and the top part looked like it had to be spontaneously raplaced before it presumably fell. Even Big Mama gasped at the sheer magnitude of the enormous confection.
Then-(insert cheap horror movie scream AHH-AH)-the gigantic cake began to sway back and forth and side to side. The candles getting loosening, in a shimmering curtain of fire. One touched the cake and it started burning. The cake started rumbling after this incident.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Chocolat, Tira and Dotta screamed.
"Stand back! It might explode!" Big Mama ordered, accenting the command with her hand. Gateau grabbed onto Marron and screamed in a pitch that nearly matched the girls (except Dotta, who's infant formula was loaded with helium).
The top few layers burst a racy swing song started playing and a figure covered with chocolate cake and frosting, with about ten candles on top of it's head bounded down. It struck a pose and smiled like a cheesy pervert.
Now there was only one other soul in the universe that smiled like a cheesy pervert besides Mille. And that was-
"Carrot!" the Sorcerer Hunters, Dotta and Big Mama all said at once.
"Yeah, I'm the cake stripper. Mille actually had a good idea for once" (<--mark those calenders again folks) He started strutting around the realm singing well actually chanting "Happy Birthday to-you, Happy Birthday to-you, Happy Birthday to-you."
It reminded Chocolat of the beat most people dance to while in a conga line. So she grabbed the hands of the nearest person to her, who happened to be Dotta, planted them on her hips and latched onto Carrot's. The three did the conga around the room to Carrot's Happy Birthday remix. Tira didn't want to be left out on the fun so she grabbed onto Dotta's hips and joined them. Gateau let Marron go, but not without placing the mage's hands on Tira's hips and his own on Marron's. Mille almost exploded with happiness and grabbed Gateau's butt. And since this was her party Big Mama put her hands on Mille's shoulders and joined in.
So for about an hour they danced around the room with Carrot still singing/chanting "Happy Birthday to-you, Happy Birthday to-you, Happy Birthday to-you." The cake frosting was starting to petrify around Carrot so he had to stop and be excused to take a shower. Noone but Chocolat and Mille really wanted the cake after they knew Carrot was in there doing God knows what. So they moved on to the next part of the party-presents.
"Here Big Mama," Mille handed her a small shiny black bag. Big Mama undid the drawstring and looked inside. She spilled it out on her hand, which was flooded by a few peices of gold gypsy-ish jewelry.
"Thanks you Mille," she put on one of the braclets and put the rest back into the bag.
"Here Big Mama," Gateau held a blue rectangular box towards her. Inside was a red book that looked like a photo album. It had some pictures of the Sorcerer Hunters but the majority were pictures of Gateau posing or some paparatzi-ish pics of Marron.
"That's interesting...thank you Gateau."
"Here Big Mama," Chocolat handed her a bright red bag, and Tira handed her an unmarked black one. Inside the red bag was a black-leather dominatrix outfit, Big Mama sized. And the black one contained a studded leather collar and a cat-o-nine-tails.
"Well...." Big Mama couldn't really think of anything to say.
"Here Big Mama," Marron offered her a gold package. It was a book...
"Breeding habits of slime orcs..." Big Mama read.
"Oh dear," Marron shook his head in his hands. "The saleswoman mixed up the packages."
"What I wanna know is who bought a book about slime orcs getting it on," Dotta squeaked. "What, no, who would write that! Anyway here Big Mama," Dotta gave her a teeny tiny black box. The teeny tiny black box held a little gold ring, blazing with a blue stone that had a feather carved into it.
"Thank you Dotta," Big Mama gave the little winged girl a hug. Carrot popped back into the room, clean for once in his life. He noticed that all the others had already given Big Mama her presents.
"Big Mama," he announced triumphantly. "I got you a subscription to Playgirl," he proudly flashed the receipt. "Let's get on with this thing. Let's play truth or dare," Carrot snickered mischivously.
"Let's just cut out the dare part and play ten fingers," Tira suggested. The voting for ten fingers over truth or dare was overwhelming, even with Marron being the free vote ten fingers still won. So they all held up their fingers and since it was Big Mama's birthday she got to go first.
BM: "Never have I ever made out in a public place," Mille put a finger down.
MF: "Never have I ever gotten into S&M," Tira and Chocolat put a finger down.
GM: "Never have I ever chased girls endlessly," Carrot put a finger down
CM: "Never have I ever been interested in girls," Carrot, Gateau and Mille each put a finger down.
TM: "Never have I ever made it past second base," Mille, Big Momma and Dotta each put down a finger.
MG: "Never have I ever openly flirted with someone," Mille, Carrot, Gateau and Chocolat put down a finger.
D: "Never have I ever...eaten cheese whiz!" Everyone put down a finger, some mumbling a little under their breath.
CG: "Never have I ever dressed in a short skirt," Dotta and Chocolat put a finger down.
BM: "Never have I ever down it in the shower," not even Mille could put a finger down on this one.
MF: "Never have I ever been in a threesome," another round of nothing.
GM: "Never have I ever cross-dressed before," Mille put a finger down.
CM: "Never have I ever worn a bra," Big Mama, Tira and Dotta put a finger down.
TM: "Never have I ever 69nd someone," another round of nothing.
MG: "Never have I ever done something kinky while drunk," everyone but Dotta put a finger down.
D: "Never have I ever been massaged with scented lotion," Mille and Big Mama put down a finger.
BM: "Never have I ever thrown myself on someone," Mille, Chocolat and Gateau each put down a finger.
MF: "Never have I ever taken someone in a dark, dreary alleyway," this just got a round of sweat drops and wierd glares. Mille laughed nervously, "Did I say that, oh my I feel so bastardized." He sweat dropped.
"Package for Big Mama!" A priest called back in the real world. Dotta remembered how many fingers she still held up, which wasn't too hard, and went to retrieve the package. She came back in about 5 seconds later with a big ass cardboard box, and almost developed hemorroids from carrying it in.
"For you, Big Mama," she gasped.
"Gee, must be from Onion or the other Haz knights they're the only ones who could've known it was my birthday," She opened it up and it was-
--None other than that evil Platina using sorcercer SACCHER! (insert another cheap B-movie scream EEEEEKK)
"Well I see after 200 years you're finally having another birthday party. I don't see why you even want to remind yourself of how old you are."
Big Mama started to shake her head side to side.
"Well kiddies Big GRAND-Mama is actually 3,461 years old."
That pushed Big Mama over the edge. Here she was trying to have a good time and Sacher just had to come in and blow it. UH-UH not this TIME! "DIE YOU BAStARD!!!!" She flung a nuke sized blast of power at Sacher. He stepped casually to the side and a huge portion of Big Mama's little realm vaporized.
"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Big Mama threw ever spell she could cast at him. This incident only served to raise a hell of a lotta hell as Big Mama's guests were cought up in No-Man's-Land.
Mille was frozen to a popsical, then defrosted and given a hot-foot.
Gateau got the wind and a bit of his breakfast knocked out him by a tremendous summoned log.
Chocolat was turned into a huge hershey kiss.
Tira was struck multiple times by arcs of lightning, shocking her hair into a huge puff-ball and blackening her glasses.
Marron was hit by a wall of force and knocked into what remained of the birthday cake, collapsing it.
A slime ball composed 90% of petroleum jelly smashed Dotta getting all into her hair, dress, wings and tail. This prevented her from flying when a comet soared by, taking the winged girl with it.
And finally Carrot got splattered by the cake chunks, a summoned pie smacked his face and he was hit by a weak little puff-ball spell, turning him into a tiny gerbil with a pig's curly tail.
Tira wiped off her glasses and stood up. Sacher and Big Mama were throwing everything but the Titanic...well everything at each other.
"WORTHLESS BITCH!"
"TWO TIMING PRICK!"
"GOLD-DIGGER!"
"SKIRT CHASER!"
It was about time someone gave those two some discipline..."I'd cut that out if I was you," Tira announced in her dominatrix voice. Big Mama and Sacher stopped bitching for a second and turned to see who was still standing. Tira proudly pulled her cape off and threw her glasses aside. But something didn't feel right...She looked down and gasp and horror! Instead of one of her usual black leather S&M-fits, she was wearing Princess Peach's (from the Mario Bros ^^) pink dress and white gloves. The whip in her hand replaced by a mushroom. "Oops," she managed to say before being knocked aside by a flying boot.
Big Mama and Sacher continued to hurl every single magic spell and cheap insult in the whole friggin world at each other. Big Mama's realm was quite wasted, the Sorcerer Hunters, Dotta and Mille were almost being killed by the ice, fire, pies, cake, chickens etc.
Then finally they both ran out of breath and their arms started to hurt mighty bad from hurling all those spells. They sat down and threw dirty looks at each other like kindergarted students for a few minutes.
Then something clicked. Big Mama and Sacher stood up.
"Oh Mama why did I ever leave you?" Sacher said quite sappily.
"Because you got high on Mille's eye shadow," Big Mama's eyes started watering.
"Oh Big Mama!"
"Oh Sacher!"
They both ran over to each other and started kissing the other like they wanted to vacuum their face off.
Guess Big Mama's 3,46o-first birthday wasn't that bad after all. At least from her perspective, that is...
-This story brought to you by Cheerwine, my Lit teacher, the letter 'B', and whatever I was smoking that gave me this idea. Thank you and have a nice evening...
by: NekoNinja ^^
"And here I thought Big Mama was too old to have birthdays anymore," Carrot sighed.
"She must want presents," Gateau said.
"For once I agree with you," Carrot nodded. (<--mark your calenders folks ^^)
"Guys, didn't you ever think that she just wants to recapture a litttle of her humanity," Tira scolded.
Gateau and Carrot thought a little...."No," they said in unison.
"I agree with you Darling, it seems fishy that her birthday happened to be on the week that Wet Seal was having a sale," Chocolat proceeded to cling onto Carrot like a leech.
"But Big Mama wears the same outfit every day," Marron said.
"Damnit!" Carrot screamed. "That's where I went to get Mama's gift.... Here Marron, happy err...Kwanza. I've got to run to the bath room be right back," Carrot took a silvery-clearish bag out of his hyper-space pocket (tm) and gave (threw) it to Marron. He then ran off quite quickly.
"Who actually believed that," Tira asked. A few crickets chirped but the remaining Socerer Hunters didn't move. "Good."
"Darling never gives me presents like that," Chocolat whined. "What is it?"
Marron opened the bag and held up a rather large light blue shirt with a gold glittery word 'Angel' surrounded by a pair of enormously pouffy wings.
"How cute," Tira and Chocolat quipped together. Marron tried to offer it to one of the Misu sisters but both refused it.
Dotta poofed into the room. "Is everyone here? No Carrot's not, well where is he?"
"He had second thoughts about what he got for Big Mama and went to get her something else," Tira said like a child reciting for a teacher.
"Oh-well, we can't keep Big Mama waiting forever or she'll be royally pissed off." Dotta snapped her fingers and took them all from the church they were currently standing in to Big Mama's little err hole in the universe. Big Mama gave them one of her characterisitic huge-ass smiles, but that quickly turned to dissapointment when she realized that one of the quintet wasn't present.
"Where is Carrot?" she asked in a very annoyed tone.
"He'll be here soon," Tira responded, telling as much of the truth as she safely could.
Big Mama looked very dissapointed. From the look on her face she was pondering whether she should deep fry Carrot or shiscabob him.
"Maybe we can just start without Darling, he'll definatly be here soon enough," Chocolat didn't want to see Carrot slaughtered by Big Mama, at least not today.
"But Mille's bringing the cake and he's not here yet," Dotta pointed out.
"Oh yes I am," Mille zoned into Big Mama's little hole in the universe. "I got the cake, it has a special suprise in honor of the first birthday you've had since..." Mille noticed the Sorcerer Hunters (that were present) were all looking at him quiet intrestedly. "Well heh heh, I just forgot, me and my slippery memory," he let out a bit of fake 'ohohoho' laughter.
"Well," Big Mama was just a little bit more pissed than she was a second ago. "Bring in the cake and lets get the party started."
Dotta snapped her fingers and a 20 foot tall blue and lilac frosted cake that was dripping with candles warped into the realm. It looked all the world like a lighthouse on fire and the top part looked like it had to be spontaneously raplaced before it presumably fell. Even Big Mama gasped at the sheer magnitude of the enormous confection.
Then-(insert cheap horror movie scream AHH-AH)-the gigantic cake began to sway back and forth and side to side. The candles getting loosening, in a shimmering curtain of fire. One touched the cake and it started burning. The cake started rumbling after this incident.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Chocolat, Tira and Dotta screamed.
"Stand back! It might explode!" Big Mama ordered, accenting the command with her hand. Gateau grabbed onto Marron and screamed in a pitch that nearly matched the girls (except Dotta, who's infant formula was loaded with helium).
The top few layers burst a racy swing song started playing and a figure covered with chocolate cake and frosting, with about ten candles on top of it's head bounded down. It struck a pose and smiled like a cheesy pervert.
Now there was only one other soul in the universe that smiled like a cheesy pervert besides Mille. And that was-
"Carrot!" the Sorcerer Hunters, Dotta and Big Mama all said at once.
"Yeah, I'm the cake stripper. Mille actually had a good idea for once" (<--mark those calenders again folks) He started strutting around the realm singing well actually chanting "Happy Birthday to-you, Happy Birthday to-you, Happy Birthday to-you."
It reminded Chocolat of the beat most people dance to while in a conga line. So she grabbed the hands of the nearest person to her, who happened to be Dotta, planted them on her hips and latched onto Carrot's. The three did the conga around the room to Carrot's Happy Birthday remix. Tira didn't want to be left out on the fun so she grabbed onto Dotta's hips and joined them. Gateau let Marron go, but not without placing the mage's hands on Tira's hips and his own on Marron's. Mille almost exploded with happiness and grabbed Gateau's butt. And since this was her party Big Mama put her hands on Mille's shoulders and joined in.
So for about an hour they danced around the room with Carrot still singing/chanting "Happy Birthday to-you, Happy Birthday to-you, Happy Birthday to-you." The cake frosting was starting to petrify around Carrot so he had to stop and be excused to take a shower. Noone but Chocolat and Mille really wanted the cake after they knew Carrot was in there doing God knows what. So they moved on to the next part of the party-presents.
"Here Big Mama," Mille handed her a small shiny black bag. Big Mama undid the drawstring and looked inside. She spilled it out on her hand, which was flooded by a few peices of gold gypsy-ish jewelry.
"Thanks you Mille," she put on one of the braclets and put the rest back into the bag.
"Here Big Mama," Gateau held a blue rectangular box towards her. Inside was a red book that looked like a photo album. It had some pictures of the Sorcerer Hunters but the majority were pictures of Gateau posing or some paparatzi-ish pics of Marron.
"That's interesting...thank you Gateau."
"Here Big Mama," Chocolat handed her a bright red bag, and Tira handed her an unmarked black one. Inside the red bag was a black-leather dominatrix outfit, Big Mama sized. And the black one contained a studded leather collar and a cat-o-nine-tails.
"Well...." Big Mama couldn't really think of anything to say.
"Here Big Mama," Marron offered her a gold package. It was a book...
"Breeding habits of slime orcs..." Big Mama read.
"Oh dear," Marron shook his head in his hands. "The saleswoman mixed up the packages."
"What I wanna know is who bought a book about slime orcs getting it on," Dotta squeaked. "What, no, who would write that! Anyway here Big Mama," Dotta gave her a teeny tiny black box. The teeny tiny black box held a little gold ring, blazing with a blue stone that had a feather carved into it.
"Thank you Dotta," Big Mama gave the little winged girl a hug. Carrot popped back into the room, clean for once in his life. He noticed that all the others had already given Big Mama her presents.
"Big Mama," he announced triumphantly. "I got you a subscription to Playgirl," he proudly flashed the receipt. "Let's get on with this thing. Let's play truth or dare," Carrot snickered mischivously.
"Let's just cut out the dare part and play ten fingers," Tira suggested. The voting for ten fingers over truth or dare was overwhelming, even with Marron being the free vote ten fingers still won. So they all held up their fingers and since it was Big Mama's birthday she got to go first.
BM: "Never have I ever made out in a public place," Mille put a finger down.
MF: "Never have I ever gotten into S&M," Tira and Chocolat put a finger down.
GM: "Never have I ever chased girls endlessly," Carrot put a finger down
CM: "Never have I ever been interested in girls," Carrot, Gateau and Mille each put a finger down.
TM: "Never have I ever made it past second base," Mille, Big Momma and Dotta each put down a finger.
MG: "Never have I ever openly flirted with someone," Mille, Carrot, Gateau and Chocolat put down a finger.
D: "Never have I ever...eaten cheese whiz!" Everyone put down a finger, some mumbling a little under their breath.
CG: "Never have I ever dressed in a short skirt," Dotta and Chocolat put a finger down.
BM: "Never have I ever down it in the shower," not even Mille could put a finger down on this one.
MF: "Never have I ever been in a threesome," another round of nothing.
GM: "Never have I ever cross-dressed before," Mille put a finger down.
CM: "Never have I ever worn a bra," Big Mama, Tira and Dotta put a finger down.
TM: "Never have I ever 69nd someone," another round of nothing.
MG: "Never have I ever done something kinky while drunk," everyone but Dotta put a finger down.
D: "Never have I ever been massaged with scented lotion," Mille and Big Mama put down a finger.
BM: "Never have I ever thrown myself on someone," Mille, Chocolat and Gateau each put down a finger.
MF: "Never have I ever taken someone in a dark, dreary alleyway," this just got a round of sweat drops and wierd glares. Mille laughed nervously, "Did I say that, oh my I feel so bastardized." He sweat dropped.
"Package for Big Mama!" A priest called back in the real world. Dotta remembered how many fingers she still held up, which wasn't too hard, and went to retrieve the package. She came back in about 5 seconds later with a big ass cardboard box, and almost developed hemorroids from carrying it in.
"For you, Big Mama," she gasped.
"Gee, must be from Onion or the other Haz knights they're the only ones who could've known it was my birthday," She opened it up and it was-
--None other than that evil Platina using sorcercer SACCHER! (insert another cheap B-movie scream EEEEEKK)
"Well I see after 200 years you're finally having another birthday party. I don't see why you even want to remind yourself of how old you are."
Big Mama started to shake her head side to side.
"Well kiddies Big GRAND-Mama is actually 3,461 years old."
That pushed Big Mama over the edge. Here she was trying to have a good time and Sacher just had to come in and blow it. UH-UH not this TIME! "DIE YOU BAStARD!!!!" She flung a nuke sized blast of power at Sacher. He stepped casually to the side and a huge portion of Big Mama's little realm vaporized.
"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Big Mama threw ever spell she could cast at him. This incident only served to raise a hell of a lotta hell as Big Mama's guests were cought up in No-Man's-Land.
Mille was frozen to a popsical, then defrosted and given a hot-foot.
Gateau got the wind and a bit of his breakfast knocked out him by a tremendous summoned log.
Chocolat was turned into a huge hershey kiss.
Tira was struck multiple times by arcs of lightning, shocking her hair into a huge puff-ball and blackening her glasses.
Marron was hit by a wall of force and knocked into what remained of the birthday cake, collapsing it.
A slime ball composed 90% of petroleum jelly smashed Dotta getting all into her hair, dress, wings and tail. This prevented her from flying when a comet soared by, taking the winged girl with it.
And finally Carrot got splattered by the cake chunks, a summoned pie smacked his face and he was hit by a weak little puff-ball spell, turning him into a tiny gerbil with a pig's curly tail.
Tira wiped off her glasses and stood up. Sacher and Big Mama were throwing everything but the Titanic...well everything at each other.
"WORTHLESS BITCH!"
"TWO TIMING PRICK!"
"GOLD-DIGGER!"
"SKIRT CHASER!"
It was about time someone gave those two some discipline..."I'd cut that out if I was you," Tira announced in her dominatrix voice. Big Mama and Sacher stopped bitching for a second and turned to see who was still standing. Tira proudly pulled her cape off and threw her glasses aside. But something didn't feel right...She looked down and gasp and horror! Instead of one of her usual black leather S&M-fits, she was wearing Princess Peach's (from the Mario Bros ^^) pink dress and white gloves. The whip in her hand replaced by a mushroom. "Oops," she managed to say before being knocked aside by a flying boot.
Big Mama and Sacher continued to hurl every single magic spell and cheap insult in the whole friggin world at each other. Big Mama's realm was quite wasted, the Sorcerer Hunters, Dotta and Mille were almost being killed by the ice, fire, pies, cake, chickens etc.
Then finally they both ran out of breath and their arms started to hurt mighty bad from hurling all those spells. They sat down and threw dirty looks at each other like kindergarted students for a few minutes.
Then something clicked. Big Mama and Sacher stood up.
"Oh Mama why did I ever leave you?" Sacher said quite sappily.
"Because you got high on Mille's eye shadow," Big Mama's eyes started watering.
"Oh Big Mama!"
"Oh Sacher!"
They both ran over to each other and started kissing the other like they wanted to vacuum their face off.
Guess Big Mama's 3,46o-first birthday wasn't that bad after all. At least from her perspective, that is...
-This story brought to you by Cheerwine, my Lit teacher, the letter 'B', and whatever I was smoking that gave me this idea. Thank you and have a nice evening...