Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Oh Brother! ❯ The Evil Sorcerer Saotome ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Oh Brother!
By: N-chan and C-chan

Chapter 1

Standard Disclaimer: We don't own this stuff, blah,blah,blah, you know the drill. There's Yaoi, comments, maybe a bit of violence, extreme insanity and all that other stuff. Pretty much, if you don't wanna read it, then don't! So, strap in your seatbelts, grab a hold of something stationary and hang on for an odd fic!
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Heero: So Carrot, what are we going to write here?
Carrot: I dunno Heero. How bout we write a story about me getting some hot girls and..
Tira: *SMACK!* Get your mind out of the gutter Carrot!
Marron: Really Brother, when will you get that mind of yours out of the gutter..
Carrot: It's none of your business where my mind is!
Heero: ………
Chocolat: I wish you would have your mind on ME darling!
Carrot: *sweatdrops*
Gateau: Could we, uh, just get on with this story already?
Carrot: Fine, fine. Man, gay guys are so not fun.
Duo: Heero's pretty fun!
Heero: *slightly blushing* Shut up Duo!
Dotta: Um, guys, maybe we should get on with the story before Momma catches us goofing off…
Everyone: Oh, ok, fine.
AND SO THE STORY BEGINS! (Far, far away from the Spooner continent…)
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<Somewhere on the Spooner continent> (=^^=*n-chan*: noooo! I thought we were OFF of the Spooner continent!!!!!)
"Sorcerer Hunters, I have gotten word about a brand new sorcerer who is making people's lives miserable. His name is The Evil Sorcerer Saotome and he looks like this." Big Momma held up a picture of a boy around sixteen who was wearing Chinese-style clothes and had a black pigtail. (=>>*c-chan*: but wait, don't sorcerers have those triangles on their heads….)(=^^=:yeah, well, you KNOW how those anime people are..) "Hey, he's kind of cute," Chocolat said looking closer at the picture. "Yeah, you're right Chocolat," Tira said also moving in closer to the picture as well. "Hey, you guys should stay focused on your JOB not on how cute the target…is…" Carrot trailed off in his little speech to the glares of the Misu sisters. "Well you guys better get going! Bye bye now!" Dotta said waving and in a puff of smoke they were in a small town district. Carrot landed on his face, like usual. Looking around, they finally found a sign that told them where they were. "Welcome to Nerima, Tokyo." Gateau read out loud. "Nerima? I've never heard of that place before," Carrot said, looking around. His eyes lit up and then he said, "Hey, I wonder if there's any hot girls around here.." And with a lecherous gleam in his eyes, he ran off, the Misu sisters in hot pursuit followed by a rather annoyed Marron and Gateau.
Ryoga walked down the street, upside down map in hand, once again looking for the Tendo Dojo. (=^^=: what else would he be looking for? That's ALL he's ever looking for…) Suddenly, he was spun around and fell into an old lady throwing out some water, resulting in him getting splashed. Chocolat ran up and saw a little black pig squealing soaking wet on the ground. "How cute!" she said picking it up. Tira, not far behind, ran up to see her sister holding the little pig and said, "Where did that come from?" Chocolat shrugged. "It was just here, isn't it cute?" She squealed. Tira agreed with a nod and then, with Chocolat tucking the pig in her shirt, they were once again in pursuit of the rampaging Carrot. Suddenly, Carrot smacked right into a young lady with medium length brown hair in a low ponytail carrying a bag of groceries and wearing an apron. She had been waving at a young man wearing glasses in front of a chiropractor's office. The bag of groceries went flying and when the dust cleared, there was Carrot, in a not-so-great position on the young lady with a sadistic smile on his face. "Oh my," the girl said, looking up at him. Suddenly Tira and Chocolat, with the pig in her shirt still, were by him in their dominatrix outfits, whip and garout ready. "Carrot, do we have to punish you again?" Tira said, whip ready. Carrot freaked and jumped off of her and went and hid behind Gateau. The young lady got up and dusted off her apron and went to pick up her grocery bag. "Are you ok Miss?" Marron asked. The girl nodded and said, "Yes, I'm fine. But is that boy okay? He ran into me awfully hard." Marron blinked. "Yes, I'm sure he's fine." (=>>: yeah, he's fine all right. as long as the dominatrix sisters don't kill him…) The girl smiled and nodded. "Well, I'm glad he's okay. But those girls are whipping him…"She said looking over to Carrot running around getting whipped. "It's okay Miss. This is normal behavior." The girl nodded once more and looked over to Carrot, who was now passed out on the ground. "Is he okay? He looks like he might need a doctor. How about we take him to Doctor Tofu's?" The girl said motioning towards the Chiropractor office that she had been waving to the man in front of. Marron nodded and motioned for Gateau to help him carry Carrot to the Chiropractor's. When they got there, the girl noticed a red headed girl and a black haired girl sitting on the chairs in what looked like a waiting room and went over to them. The red headed girl seemed to have her neck at an odd angle, and the other girl didn't seem to be enjoying the wait. "Hello Akane, Ranko. What are you two here for?"
The girl, Akane, looked up and said, "Oh, hi Kasumi. Ranm...uh Ranko just sort of, uh, messed up her neck again, so I came with her here." Kasumi sighed. "Akane, did you hurt poor Ranko again?" Akane sweatdropped and said, " I guess I can't lie to you, can I? Yes, I did kind of hurt her again, but it wasn't totally intentional this time!" Kasumi sighed once again and then turned to Marron, Gateau, and the Misu sisters. "I'll go get Dr. Tofu and he'll show you a place to put that poor boy, okay?" They nodded and set Carrot on a couple of chairs while Kasumi went off to find Dr. Tofu. "Oh no," Akane said and got up to follow Kasumi. "What's wrong?" Tira asked Akane. Akane looked over to her and said, " Well you see, Dr. Tofu has a thing for my sister, Kasumi, and when he sees her, well…" Akane was interrupted by a cry of pain from one of the rooms. Everyone rushed over to the room the sound had come from and looked inside to see the man they had seen earlier all but twisting a poor man into a pretzel with his glasses fogged over looking at Kasumi. "That happens," Akane said with a sigh. "Oh dear," Tira said, looking at the poor man. Akane went over to her sister. "Uh, Kasumi? Why don't you get those groceries home, okay? I'll take care of everything here," Akane said, all but shoving her sister out the door. "Okay Akane, I'll see you when you get home. Oh yes, and those nice people can perhaps stay with us tonight, I don't think they have a place to stay," Kasumi looked at them. "Right?" They nodded and Kasumi said, "Okay then I'll be going now," And with that Kasumi left. Dr. Tofu finally came to his senses a bit later and apologized to the poor man he had been twisting into odd shapes. He got 'Ranko's' neck back into place and then went to go see the passed out Carrot. Carrot, of course, was already awake though and hitting on a young lady who had come in. Tira growled, went over to him, grabbed him by his ear, and dragged him away. With everything finally taken care of, Akane told them to follow her and 'Ranko' and, with a wave goodbye to Dr. Tofu, off they went to the Tendo Dojo.
When they got there, they were greeted by a fight. It seemed that someone had stolen the last pickle, and that obviously was a serious crime to the people of the Tendo Dojo. A girl of about fourteen with red hair lunged at a short old man who was jumping at….a panda?? The Sorcerer Hunters blinked at the strange sight, but Akane and Ranko didn't even bat an eyelash. They just walked through the doors and called out that they were home. Kasumi said from the kitchen, "Welcome home Akane, Ranko. And I see that you brought those nice people with you. I already talked to Father and he said that they could stay here for the night. I'll make something for you two and the rest of them, okay? It seems you won't be getting much from what we were eating though, everyone was rather hungry tonight."(=^^=: Obviously, since they were fighting over a pickle…)(=>>: They do that every night…)(=^^=: Of course…) Akane nodded and turned to the little band that had formed behind her. "I hope you guys enjoy it here. It gets a little hectic every now and then, but its home. So enjoy your stay while you're here." The Sorcerer Hunters looked around while they waited for Kasumi to make their food. Tira and Chocolat made sure they had a good hold on Carrot, just in case he decided to go after one of the girls around. Suddenly, the little pig popped out of Chocolat's shirt and looked around. With a squeal of glee, it jumped out and went over to Akane squealing happily. "Oh! D-chan! Come back here!" Chocolat said starting to go after it. "Wait, Chocolat. Maybe it lives here. It is wearing a bandanna, so it must be a pet." Tira said. Tira was proven right when Akane bent down and scooped the little pig up. "Why P-chan! You're finally back home! I missed you!" Akane hugged the little pig and then turned to Tira and Chocolat. "Where did you find him?" she asked. "We were walking and I found him on the ground soaking wet. I felt sorry for the little darling so I picked him up." Chocolat said. Akane smiled happily. "Thank you so much for finding him! He doesn't have a very good sense of direction and gets lost a lot. I'm very grateful that you found him and took him along with you, or I probably wouldn't have seen him for another month." Chocolat smiled. "No problem. He's a really cute little thing so it wasn't hard to take him in." Akane thanked her once again and then they heard Kasumi call that their food was ready. After a fairly long day, they were very happy to sit down to the delicious dinner Kasumi had made for them.
After dinner, Akane introduced everyone to one another. "These people are the Sorcerer Hunters, Tira, Chocolat, Marron, Gateau and…."Akane looked around for the fifth member of the group who had seemingly disappeared. Suddenly, they heard an alarm go off and heard a scream. "That was Nabiki!" Akane said, running to her sister's room. Everyone else ran behind her to see why Nabiki had screamed. When they got there, they saw a rather dazed looking Carrot laying on the floor twitching and a girl a bit younger than Kasumi with shoulder length black hair holding a giant mallet. "You pervert! Get out of my room right now!" She raised the mallet above her head, looking as if she was about to smack him again, but Tira and Chocolat got there faster and were beating the living crap out of him. The other occupants of the house, minus Marron and Gateau, sweatdropped seeing the two girls beating on the boy. " Oh my, not again." Kasumi said with a small sigh. The panda 'growfed' and then held up a sign that read: Those two girls act like Akane. Always beating up on the guy. It flipped the sign over: Are they fiancés? Tira and Chocolat looked up and said, "Fiancés?" The panda got a huge sweatdrop and held up a sign that read: Um, never mind. The two looked at each other and then shrugged, going back to beating poor Carrot.
A little later, the introductions were made once again. "Like I said before, these people here are Sorcerer Hunters, people who hunt sorcerers. Their names are Carrot, Tira, Chocolat, Marron, and Gateau." Akane said pointing to each person as she said his or her name. Then she turned to them and said, " And these people are my sister Kasumi, whom you've already met, my sister Nabiki , whom you've already met as well, my father Soun Tendo, Ranm…er, Ranko, Mr.…um, Ranko's pet panda named Genma, Master Happosai, and Ranko's sister, Nodoka*." She pointed to each respective person when she said his or her name. She sighed inwardly and was glad that she had remembered the separate identities of Ranma and Genma, it would be too hard to explain the curses to these people. Plus it was late already and not time for the long story it would take to explain everything. With introductions finally done, they were ready to figure out sleeping arrangements for the Sorcerer Hunters. Soun finally decided that Tira and Chocolat would room with Akane, Marron and Gateau would room with 'Ranko', her sister, and their 'pet', and Carrot would sleep on a futon in the dojo, because he didn't really feel safe having Carrot sleep in the same room as 'Ranko' and Nodoka because, well, we all know how Carrot is. So, with the sleeping arrangements made, they all went to their arranged place and went to sleep.
But of course the peace was short, as all peace is when Carrot is in a small place with as many girls as there were at the Tendo Dojo.
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Authors' Note: So, how is it? Yes, I know that it says this is a crossover between Sorcerer Hunters, Ranma ½ , and Gundam Wing, and there's no Gundam Wing in it yet, but there will be! I swear it! R & R greatly appreciated!

Carrot: How come you guys haven't let me have any girls yet…

N-chan: Shush Carrot, you should be happy you have a big part in this!

Nodoka: I haven't even talked….

C-chan: Don't worry Nodoka-chan! Drive happy!!

N-chan: Please review or the characters might quit on us!