Tekken Fan Fiction ❯ Private Fury ❯ Chapter 12 ( Chapter 13 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Lei: Bryan, could you come in here?

(Bryan enters)

Lei: Bryan, about your progress concerning Combot...

Bryan: Look, I told you, I don't know where it got that weed!

Lei: Bryan, all that robot does is smuggle drugs and visit prostitutes, I though I told you that you were supposed to train it for combat.

Bryan: Shit, it's not my fault that thing's a useless pile of crap!

Ben: (enters) Did someone say 'useless pile of crap'?

Lei: Oh my god, it's Hollywood movie star and celebrity icon, Ben Affluck!

(audience cheers)

(Bryan wretches at the shameless promotion)

Ben: That's right, but I didn't come alone!

Matt: (enters) You sure didn't, Ben!

Lei: Oh my god, it's Hollywood movie star and celebrity icon, Matt Gamon!

(audience cheers)

Bryan: Son of a bitch...

Lei: So what are you guys doing here?

Ben: Actually, I've been talking with Matt about doing another movie together.

Matt: I had just finished shooting my latest movie when he came to me.

Lei: Your latest movie? What's it about?

Matt: It was inspired by my film Stuck to You, where I make fun of conjoined twins. We thought it was pretty good, regardless of what the rest of America thought, so the director said we should do another one like it. It's a movie where I play a character with Leukemia, and it's hilarious! It's gonna be a hit!

Ben: Anyway, after he finished shooting, I approached him with the idea of doing a sequel to Dogma! It's going to be called Dogma 2!

Matt: It's gonna be a hit!

Ben: That's right, Matt. (pats Matt on the ass)

Lei: Wow, it sounds great, so when's it coming out?

Ben: Expect to see it this Fall!

Matt: Coming to a theater near you!

Bryan: Wait a minute...hold it....you mean the only reason you two came on our show was so you could promote your movie?

Ben & Matt: .....

Bryan: Get the hell out of here, you fancy-ass Hollywood phonies!

(Bryan drives Ben & Matt out the door)

Bryan: Goddamn, filthy sell-outs...(starts drinking a Miller Lite, the beer that tastes great, with less filling!)

Lei: ...Bryan, about Combot...

Bryan: Hey, I refuse to feel responsible for a machine that copies everything I do!

Lei: ...I suppose we have to face facts, Combot's not really adding much to the story...

Bryan: Huh?

Lei: (pulls out a chart) Viewer polls show Combot's the 2nd least popular character, being ahead of only the psychologist who appeared in episode 4.

Bryan: So who's the most popular character?

Lei: Hmm....first is Hwoarang, then Jin, then Xiayou, then Julia, and then, much further down, us.

Bryan: What the hell? Those bastards were only in a few episodes, how the hell are they more popular?

Lei: A lot of teenagers watch this show...

Bryan: So? I know what's happening, I've been in my share of shoot-outs, I've made as many drug trades as the rest of them.

Lei: Actually, most people think you come off as an uncaring, insenstive bastard.

Bryan: Shut the hell up!! That's bullshit! They're all full of bullshit! I'm the nicest goddamn asshole they'll ever meet!

Lei: Well, in any case, we've got to do something about Combot, he's actually detracting viewers at this point...

Bryan: Yeah, I guess, I mean I can't actually picture the damn thing having any fans. Hey, can you imagine what it'd be like if they included it in Tekken 5? That one's supposed to have item customization, sort of like Virtua Fighter. Who the hell would want to dress up a damn robot?

(Lei and Bryan, in their laughter, fail to notice Combot coming in)

Combot: So that's it then, you're getting rid of me.

Lei: Combot! I, I mean, we were just...

Combot: No, you need not say anymore, I heard it all. I suppose I should be angry. But then again, I am but a machine, and thus incapable of any real emotion. After all, perhaps you are right, what human would want to see the world through the eyes an artificial lifeform? I may be but a machine, I cannot deny that, how I wish I might, but human or not, I can still think. I cannot feel. But I can think. And I have thought, since my very creation, on the very meaning of my existance. I am but the result of your work, you humans who have made me, that is indeed so. But have you ever thought that perhaps you too were the creation of another, a higher power? If such were so, then surely we would be the same. If you wish to destroy me, very well. It was man that made me, thus they reserve the right to destroy me as well. However, know this. I may not possess what you consider true feelings, as they are merely artificial, but as I have said, I can think. I can comprehend. And though my feelings may not be real, I do at least have logic. And I see no such logic in the taking of any life, man or machine.

Lei: ......sorry, pal. Ratings.

(Bryan smashes Combot's head in from behind)

Lei: Damn it, Bryan! Couldn't you have done that outside my office? Just look at the mess you made!

Bryan: Okay, I'm sorry, I'll clean it up. Shit, you're so sensitive...

End Of Chapter 11

Yeah, the last chapter was just an excuse to buy time for this one. So? I didn't force you to read it.