Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Merc Star Coast to Coast ❯ Chapter 7

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MercStar Coast to Coast
Episode#5: Look- alikes from hell

Stars:
Merc: " HUnsa Whatsa", host
Ashura: (singing klye's moms not a bitch but dead), cohost
Sabian: " Bwahahahaha. Its been a while cince I've seen Gene.", Cammera directior
Vegeta: " Why bring an outlaw on? They're no fun look at Jerrod" *POW* *CRACK*, Music directior
Ryoko: "...", Secruity Head
Sasami: " Ohhhh more people to cook for ^_^", cook
Tenchi: " Why me? Why always me?", given a premotion from waterboy to maintnance.

Guest:
Gene Starwind: " Oh boy its the crasy people again. Oh well as long as I get paid I don't care"

(Cammera opens to outside where bodys are being pushes into deep deep ditches and Tanks are
being air lifted into a one of Merc best finds. A Corshen Z class battleship. Merc is wearing a
construction helmet.)

Merc: (shouting) Come on people It took us only 10 min to kill them should take you 5 min to
clean it up.
Dude in bulldowser: AW BITE ME
Merc: (charging a Nova bomb in his hand) WHAT DID YOU SAY.
Bulldowser Dude: I said aw damn it.
Merc: (reabsorbing the Nova bomb) Thats what I though
Sabian: (over a walky talky) Merc ummmm dude were on the air.
Merc: (looks at cammera and grins) Hey people glad you made it sorry were still cleaning up after
Kyle's mom's little army fiasco.
Flunky#1: (so far in the distance no one can see him) Boss what do you want me to do the the
bitch's body.
Merc: Ummm... Throw it in one of the can's that is going up the the S.O.E. Let them figuer out
what to do with it.
Flunky#1: Gotcha.
Merc: (looking at cammera.) well better get back to the set see you all there.

(Cammera cuts off and back onto the set. Tenchi is standing up on a ladder with hammer and nails
in hand as he repairs one of the many holes put into the building. Ashura is asleep on the couch
with his Mini- Wing Gundam armour on and the buster cannon hanging down at his side. Ryoko is
sitting in Merc's chair with her feet up on the desk. Vegeta is on the edge of the set with
weights in hand working out.)

Tenchi: *munmble mumble* I prefered waterboy *munble mumble*
Ashura: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzz
Ryoko: Too bad we missed all the fun.
Vegeta: Ha that was the most pittiful army I have ever seen
Sabian: (O.S.) Yet at the mention of Disney you run like a coward like the rest of us.
Vegeta: *grumble* Go to Hell.
Sabian: (O.S.) Been there done that twice.
Ashura: (waking up) husa Whatsa?
Ryoko: (looking at cammera) O_O Shit were on the air.

(Everyone looks athe the cammera then panic and all run in the same direction. towards
Centerstage. They all run into eachother and hit the ground then get back up and go to their
right spots. Merc walks on screen and looks around at every one. He walks over to his seat and
sits down.)

Merc: Well today folks we have an old (in quotation marks) friend of Sabian's
Sabian: (O.S.) Friend my @$$.
Merc: Okey Doky. Vegeta play a song.
Vegeta: (O.S.) No I don't want to.
Merc: Do it or I'll throw you in the Disney Pit again

(Vegeta plays " Smooth Criminal" by Alien Antfarm)

Merc: Good Veggie ^_^.
Vegeta: (O.S.) Ba$t@rd.
Merc: Ashy please blast him.
Ashura: Hehehehe Bwahahahahahaha (Cuts on the buster cannon and fires off screen)

(A large exsposion is heard and the smell of singed hair fills the room.)

Merc: Oh my God someone crack a window or a wall.
Tenchi: That is almost worse than the smell of Ryoko's cooking.
Sasami: Eeeewwwww that smells nasty.
Ryoko: I agree with Tenchi.
Merc: Someone throw Veggie outside.
Ryoko: Ok ^_^

(Ryoko walks off stage picks up Vegeta and throws him through the back wall behind Merc. Ryoko
walks back on stage.)

Merc: Ryoko was that nessesary
Ryoko: Yep.
Merc: -_- whatever you know how much that just cost us.
Tenchi: About $1.95 ^_^
Merc: Thats beside the point.
Sasami: ^_^
Merc: And what are you smiling about Sasami.
Sasami: Vegeta's funny. He is floating behind you making a wierd face.
Merc: O_O Shit.

(Cammera cut to behind Merc. Vegeta looks constapated and then goes SSJ2)

Merc: RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER RUN BEFORE

( In less than 10 seconds flat the entire 20 storie building is completely void of life. Then it
blows up in a firey mass.)

Merc: You know how much that just cost us.
Tenchi: Oh about 6.5 million.
Merc: And all of it is comeing out of my pocket.
Sabian: Oh well. So ummm... where is the show going to be at now.
Merc: oh I don't know... Sabian your firing Vegeta.
Sabian: O_O Oh hell no I'm not.
Ryoko: Don't even look at me.
Ashura: Personnaly I like living.
Merc: well Sasami is definetly not going. (looks at Tenchi and grins)
Techi: Why me?
Merc: Because I agree with Ashy. I like living.
Sabian: I know. We'll get Gene to do it.

(everyone looks at eachother and start laughing evilly. Gene walks up from the now ruined
building.)

Gene: What was that all about.
Merc: Vegeta blew a fuse.
Sabian: Hey can you do us a quick favor. We'll pay you double on what we agreed on.
Gene: Really!?!?!?! Sure what do you want me to do?
Ryoko: Go fire Vegeta for us.
Gene: Ok. (runs off toward the ruined building)
Merc: You know whats so great about this dimention
Sabian: Whats that?
Merc: (With an evil grin) There is a sucker born every min.

(everyone starts laughing evilly. Sounds of large exsplosions and loud screaming is heard.)