Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Project Pinnacle ❯ A Mile in His Shoes ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo and its characters are property of AIC and
Pioneer. The proceeding story, though based on pre-existing characters, is
the property of the author and may not be reprinted without permission.
All original characters found herein are also the property of the author and
may not be used without permission. (Did that sound official? I hope so.)

Note to Reader: I have omitted a few minor characters, because their
appearances would not have contributed further to content. This saga is
meant to be read after "The Masato Saga." If you haven't read it you
won't be totally lost, but it helps. This story contains RAMPANT sexual
innuendo, just so you know (if you're too young, you probably won't get
it, anyway). If you have a comment about this story, or any of my other
stories, drop me an e-mail, as I thrive on criticism.

A Mile in His Shoes

Chapter 1: From All Sides

"Lord Tenchi, may I speak with you for a moment?" Ayeka asked.
Tenchi caught the door that he had nearly closed behind him and
leaned out of his room. "Sure, Ayeka," he replied, a little surprised that
she should follow him to his room after breakfast. "Please, come in."
Ayeka followed Tenchi in and quietly closed the door behind her.
"You see, Lord Tenchi," she began as Tenchi took a seat on his bed, "I
have been doing some thinking lately. I have been thinking about myself,
and, in doing so, have thought about you."
"Okay," Tenchi said slowly as he nodded. "What's on your
mind?"
"Well, some time ago," Ayeka continued as she sat next to him on
the bed, "someone helped me take stock of my emotions, and I saw clearly
the way that I had been acting since, well, what happened to Masato.
Since then I have come to terms with it, and, in doing so, am able to see
once again where my feelings lie."
"Ayeka, what is it you're trying to say?" Tenchi asked, feeling that
Ayeka was being evasive.
Ayeka sighed and decided to get right to the point. "Tenchi, I still
love you," she said.
Tenchi smiled. "I know, Ayeka," he said. "You told me so before
you and Masato got engaged."
"No, Tenchi, I mean..." Ayeka said, pausing to collect herself. "I
mean I'm still in love with you."
"Oh," Tenchi said; that was a bit different.
"I know that you and Ryoko have grown closer lately," Ayeka said,
"but I hope that you take into consideration my feelings for you. I want so
desperately to be with you, Lord Tenchi. I realize that who you choose is
your choice, but please, at least know how much I love you before you
make that choice. My heart has been healed, and I would gladly give it to
you if you let me."
Tenchi stared down at the floor as Ayeka finished speaking.
"Somehow, I kind of figured," he said. So, Ayeka was back in the mix.
Not that he was angry at the prospect, of course; it was very flattering to
draw that kind of attention from someone that beautiful. Nevertheless, it
complicated his life all that much more. "Well, Ayeka," Tenchi
continued, "I really haven't committed to anything yet. To be perfectly
honest, I have no idea what I intend to do yet. You have to understand that
this whole situation is highly unusual, to say the least, and also a bit, um...
confusing."
"You must understand, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka broke in, "that I'm
not telling you this to put any undue stress on you. I just need to know that
you know how I feel; that's all."
"Well, thank you for letting me know, at any rate," Tenchi said, not
knowing how else to reply. "And I have always considered your feelings."
"Thank you, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka responded as she rose from her
seat on the bed. "I just needed you to know. I don't wish to bother you
further, so I'll be on my way."
"Okay," Tenchi said as Ayeka made her exit. He ran a hand down
his face and sighed. "Well, this is nothing that hasn't happened to me
before," he said exasperatedly to the now empty room. Tenchi checked his
clock; he would have enough time for a quick washing before his
grandfather would expect him at the shrine for training. He slung a towel
over his shoulder and opened his door a crack, cautiously peeking out.
Before the arrival of his houseguests, Tenchi would have thought
nothing of undressing in his room and traversing the short distance to the
bathroom clad in nothing but a towel. Being the modest type, he curbed
that habit once his home became inundated with attractive women. He
took pains to avoid a chance encounter with one of the girls while he had
that much skin exposed. Most of the girls, however, were just as
embarrassed as Tenchi was when such an encounter took place. Except, of
course, for Ryoko. Tenchi had learned the hard way that she relished such
encounters, even looked forward to them. Tenchi even hated when Ryoko
knew that he was bathing; it was hard to obtain privacy from someone who
could phase through walls at will. Knowing full well that, if Ryoko knew
Tenchi was somewhere in the house wearing little to no clothing she
would seek him out, Tenchi silently crept into the bathroom, making sure
that no one witnessed his movements.
Satisfied that no one had followed him, he shut the door of the
bathroom behind him. Still cautious that Ryoko had somehow discovered
him, he briefly inspected the room. He opened the linen closet to see if
she was hiding in it, and breathed easy when he found it empty. He
obtained the same results from the cabinet under the sink. Satisfied that
Ryoko was nowhere to be found--at least at the moment--Tenchi began
undressing. When he was in nothing but his boxers, he checked himself;
Ryoko may have been hiding in the walls, watching him silently. Tenchi
shook his head, thinking that he may have become too paranoid. After all,
Tenchi had had several discussions with Ryoko about respecting his
privacy. Still, it never hurt to be safe. He wrapped the towel around his
waist before removing his undergarments. He took one last look around to
make sure Ryoko hadn't snuck in. Believing himself to be completely
alone, he flung back the shower curtain to gain access to the tub, which
Ryoko now stood in.
Tenchi hurriedly backpedaled into a corner, his surprised face
turning white. "Ryoko!" he shouted. "How long have you been there?"
"Long enough to see that little peep-show you put on," she replied,
grinning widely and exposing her canines.
Tenchi straightened up and coughed. "You should knock first," he
said, trying to salvage his dignity.
Ryoko stepped from the tub and slowly sauntered towards him. "I
wasn't aware that this was a private bathroom," she said slyly.
"I'd like to think it is when I'm in it," Tenchi replied. "What are
you doing in here, anyway?"
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Ryoko said
innocently, tracing a circle on his bare chest with her finger. "I just
wanted to be around if you needed help."
"I can assure you that I'm quite capable of bathing myself," Tenchi
said flatly. He rubbed his temple. "God, I feel like a mouse being stalked
by a cat."
"Well, then, 'purr,' baby," Ryoko said seductively as she wrapped
her arms around him and leaned her head on his chest. As she snuggled
comfortably against the thoroughly unnerved Tenchi, her hand subtly
began creeping to where his towel was knotted around his waist.
Tenchi caught this movement and wrenched himself from Ryoko's
grasp. He hurriedly retreated to another corner and put his hand up.
"Towel mine no underwear hands off!" he shouted unintelligibly, grasping
the knot as if his life depended on it.
Ryoko snickered. "You don't have to worry about that," she said.
"After all, underneath these clothes, I'm naked, too."
Tenchi's eyes widened as he let out with a stifled gasp.
"You look like you don't believe me," Ryoko continued in a sultry
tone. "You want me to prove it, don't you?"
"No no no no no! I believe you! I believe you!" Tenchi insisted,
waving his arms frantically in front of him. "Ryoko, would you please
leave so I can take a bath?"
"Mind if I join you?" she asked.
"Yes!" Tenchi replied immediately. "Please, will you leave?
Pretty please with sugar on top, Ryoko?"
Ryoko grinned. She had teased Tenchi enough for now. "Okay,"
she said with a sigh. "I guess I can take a rain check on that bath with you.
But don't keep me waiting too long, okay?" Before Tenchi could respond,
Ryoko pecked him on the cheek. "Have fun," she said as she phased
through the wall. "I hope you think of me when you wash 'down there.'"
Tenchi wiped the sweat from his brow with his trembling hand.
He sighed nervously; now he would have to look over his shoulder all day.

After a bath during which Tenchi nervously roved his eyes about
the room, he made his way downstairs to begin another day of training
with Yosho. He didn't know how well he'd be able to focus on his
swordplay, however, being that Ryoko had nearly given him a heart attack
that morning. As much as Tenchi tried to keep his mind clear and
objective, he couldn't help but become a bit distracted after one of
Ryoko's flirting sessions. As his feet carried him to the door, Kiyone and
Mihoshi appeared at his side. They were in their Galaxy Police uniforms.
"Hi," Tenchi said. "Going off on patrol, huh?"
"Yeah," Kiyone replied, sounding very disinterested in the task at
hand. "These days, it's better to get it over with early in the day."
"Kiyone, didn't you have something that you wanted to tell
Tenchi?" Mihoshi asked. Tenchi raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, yeah!" Kiyone said. "Mihoshi and I are each using one of our
vacation days tomorrow."
"We get the whole day off!" Mihoshi cut in excitedly.
"Both of you? The whole day?" Tenchi asked. "But who's going
to patrol? I thought that you two were the only officers stationed in this
part of the galaxy."
"Seeing as how things have been so quiet around here lately,"
Kiyone explained, "headquarters agreed to allow us to take the same day
off. We only need to respond if there's an emergency."
"Wow, that's great," Tenchi said with a warm smile. "I'll bet
you've got big plans."
"Not really," Kiyone admitted. "Actually, we were wondering if
you had plans for tomorrow."
"Me?" Tenchi asked tightly. "Well, nothing's come up yet, I
guess..." Tenchi trailed off.
"Do you think you might want to do something with us
tomorrow?" Kiyone asked.
"Er... something?" Tenchi asked, his brow furrowing in worry.
"Sure," Kiyone said with a friendly look. "You know, we could
grab some lunch, sing karaoke, go shopping, whatever."
"Yeah, we could make it a great date!" Mihoshi added
enthusiastically.
"A... date!?" Tenchi stammered.
"Well, I suppose you can call it whatever you like," Kiyone said
with a wave of her hand. "I just hoped that you might want to go out and
have a good time with us, that's all."
Tenchi nodded slowly. The idea itself sounded innocent enough,
but he had detected something a little suspect in the way Kiyone had said
"good time." "Well, Grandpa might need me at the shrine tomorrow,"
Tenchi said, scratching the back of his head nervously. "You know how
he likes to keep me on my toes. Plus, with the weather getting so cold, I'm
sure he'll want me to loosen the dirt in the garden one last time before the
topsoil freezes. I'm not sure I can find any time off tomorrow. Sorry."
Kiyone smiled cutely. That's okay," she said. "We'll just spend
the day right here, then. If that's okay with you, of course."
"Uh, sure," Tenchi said. "You do live here, after all."
"Great!" Kiyone said. "Well, Mihoshi, let's get that patrol out of
the way."
"Right!" Mihoshi responded authoritatively as the pair exited.
"See you at dinner, Tenchi!"
"Okay, bye," Tenchi said as he flashed a smile to the two departing
officers. Once the door closed behind them, he hung his head and sighed.
"Great," he mumbled to himself. "I guarantee that they'll be all over me
tomorrow." He perked his head up as he heard a door open behind him.
"Ah, Tenchi!" Washu exclaimed as she emerged from her lab. "I
thought I heard your voice out here."
"Good morning, Washu," Tenchi said as he smiled. "We missed
you at breakfast today."
"Oh, how sweet!" she said as she tucked her hands behind her
back. "Actually, I was running some more tests on Arcese this morning.
Speaking of tests, would you mind coming into my lab for a second?"
"Tests?" Tenchi panicked. "Um, I don't think so..."
"It won't take but a minute, I promise," Washu assured him. "And
it won't hurt. Much."
"I, uh, really don't think that's such a good idea," Tenchi said
behind teeth clenched in alarm.
"Well, I suppose I can't force you," Washu said with
disappointment. Actually, Washu could force him if she wanted to. "But
how about just keeping me company?"
"Uh, why?" Tenchi asked. "Isn't Arcese in the lab with you?"
"He is," Washu confirmed, "But he's no Tenchi, now is he?"
Tenchi chuckled very nervously. "I suppose not," was all he could
think to say. "Washu, I'd love to be able to help you out, really, but I've
got a busy day ahead of me. Maybe another time. I hope you understand."
"Of course I do," Washu said with a wide, understanding smile.
"We've both got schedules to keep. Maybe tomorrow, then."
"Maybe," Tenchi said as Washu again returned to the recesses of
her laboratory. Tenchi breathed deeply. Apparently, tomorrow was going
to be a very trying day.
More than ready to leave the house and immerse himself in the
solitude of the shrine, Tenchi turned the doorknob to leave. As he stepped
into the doorway, a voice from the kitchen called out, "Tenchi!" Tenchi
poked his head back into the house and turned his eyes to the kitchen,
where he saw Sasami emerge hurriedly carrying a small paper sack. "I
thought you might get hungry later, so I packed you a lunch," she said.
Tenchi took the bag appreciatively. "Thank you, Sasami, how
thoughtful of you," he said with a wide smile. "This will certainly tide me
over until dinner."
"Which I will have ready tonight as usual!" Sasami stated. "Well,
enjoy your lunch, Tenchi."
"I will," Tenchi said as he turned to leave. "Thank you again,
Sasami."
"You're welcome, Tenchi!" Sasami called after him as he made his
way out the door.
Tenchi walked briskly to the shrine, afraid that, if he lingered at the
house any longer, even Sasami might start flirting with him.

Chapter 2: Scheme

"Tenchi, I know you can do better than that," Yosho sighed
exasperatedly as he landed yet another sword blow to Tenchi's midsection.
Tenchi hunched over, hands on his knees, breathing heavily, generally
looking like he was having a horrible time. Yosho noticed this. "Is
something wrong, Tenchi?" he asked.
"Sorry, Grandpa," Tenchi said as he straightened up. "I guess I've
just got a lot on my mind today."
"I see," Yosho said slowly. "Tenchi, you must learn to separate
yourself from such distractions when training."
"Well, considering my situation, that's easier said than done,"
Tenchi replied.
"Good point," Yosho said. "I suppose continuing won't do much
good. Still, you must focus next time."
"I will, Grandpa, I promise," Tenchi assured him.
"Oh, and one more thing," Yosho said. "The weather forecast calls
for heavy frost in a few days. You'll need to till the garden one last time
or the soil will settle too much over the winter. I was going to have you do
it tomorrow, but I suppose this will substitute the remainder of your
training today."
"Right," Tenchi said as he turned to leave. "I'll start on that right
away."
Yosho watched his grandson walk down the steps of the shrine.
He thought aloud, "I wonder if those girls will always be just a distraction
to him..."

The blade of Tenchi's hoe sank deep into the cold earth of the
garden. Despite having only finished about a third of it, he was sweating
heavily. Trying desperately not to think about all the attention that would
most likely be levied on him tomorrow, he chopped angrily at the dirt.
However, he still couldn't shake the queasy feeling in his stomach. He
simply felt very uneasy about the coming day.
His arms nearly burning with fatigue, Tenchi took a seat on a
nearby log to recuperate. Despite his uneasy stomach, he felt that he
should eat something. He began to pick at the lunch that Sasami had
packed for him. As he ate halfheartedly, he heard a rustle off in the
distance. He tensed, figuring that Ryoko had come to bother him again.
Braced for the worst, he let out a relieved sigh as Arcese stepped out into
the clearing.
"Thank God it's only you," Tenchi said as he exhaled the breath he
was holding. "I was afraid it was Ryoko."
"I know," Arcese replied. "Sorry about that."
"Anyway, what brings you here?" Tenchi asked between mouthfuls
of a rice cracker.
"I was just curious why you're so stressed out," Arcese answered.
Tenchi's eyes shot wide open. "Stressed?" Tenchi queried
uncomfortably. "Why would you think I'm stressed?"
Arcese looked at him rather impatiently. "Don't forget, I'm
empathic," He reminded Tenchi. "I could sense it all the way from the
house. You're a nervous wreck."
Tenchi slumped down on his seat. He could hide his feelings from
the girls, his grandfather, and even himself. But he couldn't stop Arcese
from reading him like an open book. "You're right," he capitulated. "I'm
not looking forward to tomorrow at all."
"Why is that?" Arcese asked. "What could be so bad about
tomorrow?"
Tenchi locked his eyes forebodingly onto Arcese's. "Can you read
the girls' emotions from here?" he asked flatly.
Arcese furrowed his eyebrows. "Probably," he said after a short
pause.
"Do it," Tenchi suggested, "and you'll find out just why I'm so
worried."
Arcese lowered his head and adapted a look of intense
concentration as he searched the emotions of all the girls. Tenchi watched
as, with each emotion that became clear to Arcese, his eyes began to
steadily widen in shock, amazement, and embarrassment, as evidenced by
his reddening face. "Oh," he said thinly, beginning to understand why
Tenchi's mind was so troubled. "Oh. ... OH! ... OH, MAN! Jeez, Tenchi!
I mean, I mean holy cow! This is absolutely crazy!"
"I know," Tenchi said as his face sank into his hands. "I know."
"I knew they... had feelings for you," Arcese marveled, "but this,
this is... this is...OH, MAN!"
Tenchi could only sigh in response; Arcese had said it perfectly.
"Wow, their feelings are getting really intense," Arcese observed.
"That's rather strange. Why today?"
"How should I know?" Tenchi asked desperately. "I'll never figure
women out. Anyway, everyone's going to be home tomorrow, and you
can only imagine what that house is going to be like."
"I can imagine it'll be like trying to swim through a pool filled with
estrogen," Arcese remarked, genuinely not intending to make a joke of any
kind.
"They are going to be all over me tomorrow," Tenchi extrapolated,
"and I'm not sure I can handle it again."
"AGAIN!?" Arcese shrieked. "You mean this sort of thing has
happened before?"
"Are you kidding?" Tenchi asked. "It's a non-event around here.
Everyday it's like walking on eggshells. Especially with Ryoko."
"Yeah," Arcese agreed, since becoming particularly shocked with
her emotions at the moment. "She must be, uh... a handful."
Tenchi could feel his stomach knot up again at the thought. "I just
don't feel safe in that house sometimes," he said in a dismal tone. "Don't
get me wrong, the girls are great, but I wish they didn't hound me so
much."
Arcese sensed a great desperation from Tenchi. He was genuinely
afraid of the coming day. "Tenchi, I had no idea that things could be so
hard for you this way," Arcese said. "I wish there was something I could
do to help."
"The only thing I wish for is a day off," Tenchi said. "Just a day,
that's all. Just to get away from all this for a while. But I'm just so
worried that, if I do, then the girls will think I'm trying to avoid them."
"Aren't you?" Arcese asked.
"Well, yeah," Tenchi admitted, "but I still don't want to hurt their
feelings."
"Hmm," Arcese muttered. "Walking on eggshells is right."
"You have no idea," Tenchi responded.
Arcese was at quite a loss. For the first time since his upgrade, he
suspected that some emotions might be a bit more trouble than they were
worth. He felt sorry for Tenchi especially, who seemed to be receiving the
brunt force of this theory. Tenchi should be entitled to a day off if he
wanted it, but, as he had stated before, the situation was not quite so
simple. It seemed as though the only way Tenchi could get away is if he
split himself in two.
"...Or if there was another one." Arcese thought aloud.
"Huh?" Tenchi asked. "What did you say?"
"It's a long shot," Arcese said, "but I think I might be able to help
you."
"How?" Tenchi asked.
Arcese smiled devilishly and announced, "I'll be you for the day!"
Tenchi stared blankly at the synthetic being for several moments.
The silence was broken when Tenchi began convulsing in uproarious
laughter. "That's a good one!" he said in between guffaws. "Thanks for
that! I really needed a good laugh today!"
Arcese shook his head. "I'm not kidding, Tenchi," he said matter-
of-factly. "I think I can pull it off."
"Yeah, right!" Tenchi said, still recovering from his fit of hysterics.
"You don't even look like me!"
Arcese again smiled. "Well, I can fix that," he said.
Tenchi's smile suddenly became a look of wonder as Arcese
lowered his head and began to concentrate. He was about to ask what he
was up to when he saw his body begin to distort slightly. He seemed to
shrink a few inches, and his skin color became darker. His spiky black
hair shortened in front, and morphed into a small ponytail in the back.
Even Arcese's clothes changed before Tenchi's eyes, shifting to an outfit
identical to the one he was presently wearing. Tenchi gasped as Arcese
raised his eyes, remembering just how Arcese was able to achieve a
perfect likeness of him. "That's right; you're a shapeshifter!"
"Yep!" Arcese confirmed. "Like looking into a mirror, isn't it?"
Tenchi stepped forward and examined Arcese's face. It was indeed
a perfect match for his own. "Incredible," he marveled.
"I'm just glad I was able to do it," Arcese confessed. "I've never
tried to alter my appearance this much before."
"Well, I'd say you did fantastic for your first try," Tenchi
complemented.
"So, still think that I can't pull it off?" Arcese asked smugly.
"Yes, I do," Tenchi replied with a nod.
"What!?" Arcese snapped. "Why not? I look exactly like you!"
"But," Tenchi pointed out, "you don't sound like me."
Arcese considered for a moment. "You have a good point," he
admitted. "Still, nothing I can't fix."
"Oh, really?" Tenchi queried.
"Yes, really," Arcese returned. "Tenchi, please repeat after me:
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog."
"Excuse me?" Tenchi asked, very confused. "Why?"
"Just repeat the sentence, Tenchi," Arcese said. "It will help me
isolate your vocal patterns."
"Oh," Tenchi said, beginning to understand, "okay. 'The quick
brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.'"
Arcese adapted a blank look as his processor analyzed Tenchi's
vocal pattern. Then, having isolated all primary sounds, applied the
resulting vocal framework to his own voice. "There," he said, his voice
indistinguishable from Tenchi's, "that should do it."
Tenchi was impressed. "You're a man of many talents,
apparently," he said.
"Not really," Arcese replied. "Really it's just these two. But
they're great!"
"Maybe you can pass as me, just for a day," Tenchi speculated.
"Do you think you're up to it? I mean, the girls can be very... demanding."
"Tenchi, I've been around you long enough to know how you
handle the girls," Arcese assured him. "Plus, I can use my empathy to help
me. This is definitely doable."
"Wait a minute," Tenchi exclaimed, remembering one small detail,
"what about your eyes?"
"Dammit, you're right!" Arcese spat. How could he have forgotten
about his eyes? Thanks to Washu, they were the only aspect of his
features that he had no control over. Sure, his eyes matched Tenchi's now,
but should any emotion flare up, his eyes would change accordingly.
"Please tell me you have a pair of sunglasses I can use."
"I should," Tenchi mused. "Are you sure you want to go through
with this? I mean, if the girls find out what's going on, they'll very likely
kill you."
"Tenchi, I can handle it," Arcese assured him. "You're entitled to
a day off if you want it. Besides, what are shapeshifting friends for?"
Tenchi, despite the fact that the house was a powder keg of
feminine hormones, could not worry too much about Arcese. He was
naturally pleasant enough to imitate Tenchi to some successful degree, and
his empathic abilities would help in unimaginable ways. "The only thing
I'm really worried about," Tenchi confessed, "is Grandpa. If he wants me
to train tomorrow, you'll have to fill in, and that's something you just can't
do."
"Then tell him you want the day off to spend some time with the
girls," Arcese suggested. "After all, that's where you'll be tomorrow; I'll
make certain of that."
"I'm not sure he'd let me do something like that," Tenchi
speculated.
Arcese gave him a knowing smile. "Trust me, Tenchi," he said,
"He'll have no problem with you taking time out from your training to
have fun with the girls."
Tenchi considered the opportunity that was laid out before him.
Arcese was perfectly willing to provide him with an escape from his
sometimes suffocating responsibilities (six in all), and the plan actually
held a lot of promise. However, it was not without its risks. If the girls
found out about the deception, they would not be pleased, to say the least.
Still, the prospect of spending an entire day free from the craziness of what
had become his life was tempting. Tenchi decided to take a chance. "Are
you absolutely sure you can do this?" he asked.
"Sure!" Arcese responded heartily. "I know how all the girls feel
about you, so I'll be able to treat them in kind."
"Just don't underestimate them," Tenchi warned. "Who knows
what kind of surprises they have."
"Tenchi, don't worry about it," Arcese said, trying very hard to
alleviate Tenchi's worry. "I can do this. Trust me."
Tenchi nodded slowly. "Why don't you change back to normal
and wait here," he said. "I'll ask Grandpa if I can have tomorrow off."

"Come in," Yosho shouted out in response to the soft knock on the
door of the shrine. Tenchi stepped through, looking visibly anxious.
"Tenchi, is something troubling you?"
"Well, actually, I need to ask you for a favor," Tenchi replied,
nervously grasping the back of his neck. "You see, I was wondering if,
well, if you'd let me, I mean, if I could, uh, maybe, er, can I, um, would it
be okay if tomorrow I could, um, maybe have a day off?"
Yosho raised an eyebrow. "Does this have anything to do with
your lack of concentration today?" he asked.
"Well, sort of," Tenchi said, thinking quickly. "You see, all the
girls are going to be home all day tomorrow, and I just thought it would be
kind of nice to spend the day with them, that's all."
Yosho grinned slightly. [My grandson is finally feeling his oats,]
he thought. [Well, better late than never.] "I suppose it won't hurt to
have a day off," Yosho said. "You have my permission."
"Thank you!" Tenchi said jauntily. "I appreciate it."
"On one condition," Yosho said, stopping Tenchi in his tracks.
"You must promise that you will train extra-hard with me for the rest of
the week."
Tenchi sighed; a few extra practice drills was a small price to pay
for a day of peace and quiet. "Sure, Grandpa," he replied with a smirk.
"Have fun tomorrow," Yosho called after him as he left.
"I will!" Tenchi said happily as he nearly skipped down the steps.
The sweet smell of freedom already swirled in his nostrils.
When he returned to the garden, Arcese was standing right where
he had left him, and had changed back to his original form. Tenchi
clapped his hands once and said excitedly, "We're all set!"
"Fantastic," Arcese said, beaming right back at him. "We'll need
to discuss a few particulars, I think, but aside from that, I'm ready for
tomorrow."
"Let's talk while I work," Tenchi said as he picked up his garden
tool, feeling a second wind coming on. "I'm not on vacation just yet."

Chapter 3: The Old Switcharoo

Arcese checked the clock on the wall; it was 5:17 AM. After a
long night of experimentation that ran into the wee hours of the morning,
Washu had finally fallen asleep. With the pink-haired genius sleeping
soundly, Arcese was able to scrawl out a note saying that he would be
gone for the day, and ever so quietly exited the lab. He noiselessly crept
up the stairs to Tenchi's room. He opened the door and found Tenchi
wide awake, sitting up in bed. "You're late," he whispered harshly in the
darkness.
"Sorry," Arcese whispered back. "Washu wouldn't stop working."
Tenchi nodded in understanding and got up out of his bed. He was
already fully clothed, with a small travel bag over his shoulder. Arcese
took his place in the bed, and changed his appearance to Tenchi's. "I left
the sunglasses on the nightstand," Tenchi whispered. "Ryoko usually
comes in around six thirty, so be ready. I'll be back around seven o'clock
tonight; be sure to meet me outside in the tool shed so we're not seen
together."
"Okay," Arcese replied quietly. "Enjoy your day off."
Tenchi smiled as he left the room. He tiptoed down the stairs,
making nary a sound as he made his way to the door. He slipped out and
carefully closed the door behind him. Finally free of the house, with a day
to himself stretched out before him, he breathed in the crisp, cold air of the
morning. Barely giving a second thought to whether Arcese truly knew
what he was getting himself into, Tenchi jauntily stepped along the path
leading to town.
It was not long before Tenchi found himself in a small cafe,
sipping leisurely at a cup of green tea as he watched the rising sun peak
over the tops of the buildings across the street. He smiled as the shadows
continued to shorten. This particular morning he would not have to deal
with a swirl of feminine voices, voices which at times grated on his
nerves. Tenchi was well aware that absence makes the heart grow fonder;
maybe a day without the girls was just what he needed to renew his
appreciation for them. However, he reclined in his seat and took another
sip of tea as he tried to push the girls out of his mind for the rest of the
day; this day was for himself.
"Can I get you anything else, sir?" the waitress asked as she came
parallel to the table at which Tenchi sat.
Tenchi gave her a warm smile. "Another cup of tea would be
great, thanks," he said. The waitress nodded and returned shortly with his
order. He again sat back holding the tea close to his face, letting the steam
waft over his lips. Those lips suddenly pursed as he remembered the one
who was responsible for allowing him to have this moment of solitude. "I
wonder how Arcese is doing?" he asked quietly to the glass of the window
he looked out of.

Ryoko was in the room. She had been since 6:26, four minutes
ahead of schedule. Arcese continued to lay silently in the bed, covers
pulled over the top of him, trying his best to pretend he was sleeping.
While she was in the room, Arcese decided to read her emotions, trying to
find out exactly what her intent was in sitting at the desk chair watching
"Tenchi" sleep. To his mild surprise, he couldn't read much of anything.
It appeared as though she had no motive other than to sit and watch him.
Finally deciding that he was officially ready to start his day of
deception, Arcese folded the covers back and sat up in bed. He looked
over to the desk. Ryoko was slumped in the seat with her eyes closed.
Apparently, she had dozed off. All the better for Arcese; he could quietly
slip out of the room without needing to deal with her. He swung his legs
over and onto the floor. In one fluid motion he stood up and slid the
sunglasses off the nightstand and onto his face. He quietly glided to the
door and opened it, when from behind him he heard a voice ask, "Aren't
you going to say 'good morning,' lover?"
Arcese whipped around to see Ryoko leaning back in the desk
chair and looking at him, stretching her arms such that her ample bosom
strained against her clothing. Arcese definitely had not taken into account
the fact that she was a very light sleeper. "Good morning, Ryoko," Arcese
said calmly.
Ryoko stood up and began to walk towards him, a wide, suggestive
smile on her face. "Breakfast probably won't be ready for a while," she
said softly. "We have a little time for ourselves."
Arcese fidgeted a little, trying his best to act nervous. He did not
have to act very much; Ryoko's come-ons were strong and thinly veiled, to
say the least. He marveled at how someone could be so energetic before
breakfast. "Would you mind, uh, letting me wash up first?" he asked,
searching for an excuse to leave the room.
"Oh, you don't have to wash up for me," Ryoko replied
breathlessly. "I like dirty."
Arcese blushed noticeably as Ryoko closed the remaining distance
and enclosed him with her arms. Then, one of her hands slid up to his face
as she said, "Tenchi, why don't you take those sunglasses off so I can see
your sexy eyes?"
Arcese exploded from Ryoko's embrace and clasped the glasses
tighter to his face. "I really don't want to do that," he said rather
desperately.
Ryoko looked at him questioningly for a moment, before her lips
turned upwards into a wry smile. "Oh, I get it," she said slyly. "Did
someone sneak a few swigs from his grandfather's stash last night? Looks
like my Tenchi is finally growing up into the man I knew he could be.
Maybe tonight we can share a nightcap."
Arcese blushed again as he picked up on Ryoko's emotions. She
didn't want to share a nightcap; she wanted to share a bed. "It's not that at
all," Arcese pleaded. "I just, well... is it just me, or is it really bright
today?"
Ryoko nodded knowingly. "Sensitive eyes are a common
symptom of a hangover," she said.
"I haven't been drinking!" Arcese insisted. "I guess I'm just... not
really feeling myself today, that's all."
"Oh, you poor baby!" Ryoko said with pity as she again hugged
him. "I could kiss it and make it better. Now, where does it hurt? Your
lips? Your chest? Your belly? Your--"
"I don't hurt anywhere!" Arcese insisted hurriedly. "Can I please
take a bath now?"
"Well, all you had to do was ask," Ryoko said as she took his hand.
"Let's go, honey."
"I meant by myself!" Arcese said. Apparently, begging hadn't
worked, so Arcese decided to level with her. "You should know, Ryoko,"
he continued, "that I asked Grandpa for the day off today. So, I'll have all
day to spend with you all, meaning there's no rush. You'll have all day to
flirt. So, do you think you could please give me just a few minutes for
myself to make sure I at least look and feel presentable?"
Ryoko looked a little hurt by the comment, but ultimately she said,
"I suppose that makes sense. Okay, Tenchi, you go ahead and take a bath
if you want. But, the second you get out of that bathroom, you're all
mine." As she said this, she smiled evilly and ran a finger down Arcese's
chest.
Without another word she phased out of the room, leaving a
trembling Arcese standing stark still in the middle of the room. He knew
that Ryoko's display was but a taste of what he would be putting up with
during the day. Quite frankly, he didn't know how Tenchi was able to
resist such come-ons; even Arcese was having a difficult time in doing so.
It would take quite a bit of resolve to make it through the day. Regaining
his senses, he walked to the dresser and picked up a hand mirror.
Removing his sunglasses, he checked his eyes. They had turned amber.
"Dammit," he muttered. "I think Washu made me a little too human."

After a bath where Arcese made no real effort to clean himself (one
who does not have sweat glands does not need to worry about body odor),
he dressed himself in one of Tenchi's outfits and made his way down to
the breakfast table. He could have easily shapeshifted himself into clothes,
but he felt that, as long as he was trying to be Tenchi, he might as well go
the whole nine yards. Upon reaching the kitchen, Arcese found that
Sasami was busy with cooking, and Ayeka and Ryoko were conversing at
the table. Ayeka looked over and said, "Good morning, Lord Tenchi."
"Good morning, Ayeka," Arcese said with a small smile. Ryoko
gave Ayeka a sideways glance. Granted, the two were friends now and
Ryoko understood that Ayeka cared very deeply for Tenchi, but that didn't
mean that she necessarily had to like it.
Ayeka then adopted a look of curiosity. "Lord Tenchi, if I may
ask," she began, "why are you wearing sunglasses?"
Before Arcese could answer, Ryoko leaned over and said in an
audible whisper, "Tenchi got into Yosho's stash last night, and he's a little
hung over."
"Oh," Ayeka said with a hint of surprise.
"Ryoko, I told you I haven't been drinking!" Arcese said. "I'm just
a little under the weather, that's all."
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with going on a bender now and
then," Ryoko said.
"I haven't been drinking!" Arcese said firmly.
"Tenchi, perhaps some nice green tea will help flush that alcohol
out of your system," Ayeka offered.
"I haven't been drinking!" Arcese said again.
Washu promptly entered the kitchen, carrying the note that Arcese
had scrawled earlier that morning. Arcese looked at the clock in
amazement; it was 8:09. Washu had only slept for under three hours, yet
she looked as though she had just come out of hibernation. "Has anyone
seen Arcese this morning?" she asked anxiously.
Everyone, including Arcese, looked at each other and shook their
heads. "I haven't seen him all morning," Sasami announced. "Why do
you ask?"
"I just wanted to know what this note was all about," Washu said,
holding the piece of paper in front of her. Arcese took the note and read it
aloud.

"Dear Washu:
"All the testing has begun to wear on me, so I've decided to take a
day off. I apologize for the abruptness of this announcement, but it was a
spur-of-the-moment decision. I'll be spending the day in town, and I
should be back around seven o'clock. Once I've had this day for myself, I
see myself feeling quite refreshed, and will undoubtedly have no
objections to you continuing your tests of me. Once again, I do apologize
for the short notice, and wish you all a pleasant day.

"Yours truly,
"Arcese."

Arcese laid the note on the table. "I guess he'll be gone for the
day," he said dismissively.
"I hope he'll be okay by himself," Sasami remarked.
"I'm sure he'll be fine," Washu said. "I just wish he would have
let me know a bit in advance, that's all. I had a full schedule of tests that I
wanted to run on him today. Oh, well, I guess I'm just going to have to
test you today, Tenchi."
"Hey! Nobody's testing anybody today!" Arcese said.
"You know, maybe you should test him today," Ryoko suggested.
"I think you'll find that he has an abnormal blood alcohol content."
"How many times do I have to say that I haven't been drinking?!"
Arcese yelled.
"Well, if you'll step into my lab, we can prove that," Washu said
with a devilish grin.
Arcese was flustered. If, somehow, Washu lured him into the lab,
she would undoubtedly discover that he was an imposter. "Washu, if it
was any other day, I might consider just getting that over with," he said.
"But can't you let me enjoy my day off today?"
"Are you sure?" Washu asked. "I promise today that we'll only do
the 'fun' tests."
"Not a chance!" Arcese said quickly. "Not today, Washu, please."
"Well, alright," Washu conceded. "I guess you do need to sleep
off that hangover, anyway."
"I haven't been drinking!" Arcese said.
"Good morning, Mihoshi! Good morning, Kiyone!" Sasami
chirped.
Everyone turned to the doorway where they saw the two GP
officers enter the kitchen. "Good morning, everyone," Mihoshi said with a
yawn.
"Since you have the day off today," Sasami said, "I made an extra-
special breakfast. I hope you like it."
"I'm sure we will," Kiyone said with a smile. "Your meals have
never disappointed us before."
With that compliment, breakfast was served. Arcese was a little
nervous as the magnificent spread was laid out before him. Not only did
he not need to eat, he did not have the internal organs to handle it. The
best he could do was create a cavity within his body to momentarily store
the food, and then extract it when no one was looking. "Dig in,
everyone!" Sasami bade the diners with a wide smile.
Arcese looked in bewilderment at the table, wondering which dish
would be appropriate to start with. Not having any taste buds, he had no
idea what anything would taste like. So, he took an educated guess and
grabbed an apple. As he bit into it, he looked around the table to see the
girls staring at him, many with their first bites frozen halfway to their
mouths. As he began chewing, the looks grew more puzzled. "What?" he
asked.
"Um, Tenchi, what are you doing?" Sasami asked.
"I'm eating an apple," Arcese said slowly.
"Tenchi," Washu said, "that's a piece of wax fruit from the
centerpiece."
Arcese froze in mid-chew, the wax crumbling from his mouth to
the tablecloth. His eyes roved sheepishly from one face to the next.
Finally, Ryoko leaned over and said to Ayeka, "Maybe all that alcohol
hasn't worn off yet."
Arcese snapped, "I HAVEN'T BEEN DRINKING!"

Chapter 4: Questionable Behavior

The rising sun had taken some of the chill out of the air. In fact, it
was unseasonably warm. Capitalizing on the weather, Tenchi sat leisurely
on a park bench reading a novel he had been meaning to finish, his heavy
jacket lying uselessly next to him. He had actually started it several
weeks ago, but due to numerous interruptions had never been able to read
it for more than ten minutes at a time. He turned the page and sighed
contentedly, completely oblivious to the world around him. If the ground
opened up and hell itself spilled forth upon the world, Tenchi would have
just kept on reading, so engrossed in his solitude was he.
Though the smile on his face may have displayed a complete focus
on his novel, Tenchi's mind indeed wandered from time to time. Mostly,
the stray thoughts that crossed his mind were of the girls. However, his
thoughts were of a much different nature than normal. He was only
thinking about them, as opposed to worrying about them, which he did
quite a bit while at home. It was so nice not to have to think of excuses as
to why he should not gratify Ryoko, or to be the subject of one of Washu's
experiments, or to tend to Mihoshi and Kiyone after pulling them from
their again crashed vessel, the result of Mihoshi's well-meaning
buffoonery. In an odd way, he actually looked forward to seeing them all
again that evening. For the time being, however, he continued to read.
Periodically he would stop and close his eyes, marveling at the silence
around him. Silence. How he used to take it for granted. These days, it
was more precious than gold.
He again paused from his reading and looked up to see two young
ladies passing by the bench on which he sat. For a brief moment he made
eye contact with them. Tenchi gave them a polite smile and turned his
eyes back to his book, a barely perceptible blush covering his cheeks. He
heard the two girls giggle as they continued to walk away. Tenchi
chuckled to himself. If Ryoko had been there, it was very likely that those
two girls would have been reduced to a pile of ash after what had just
occurred. He smiled to himself satisfactorily; he was pleased to know that,
despite six pairs of curious eyes, he could still keep a few small secrets.
Tenchi again turned the page, and found that he had reached the
end of the book, which shocked him a little. He had read nearly 150
pages, an amount that took him close to a month to get through when he
read at home. He smiled wide as he closed the book and placed it in his
travel bag. He debated whether or not to start reading the other book he
had brought, but finally decided against it; now was no time to be a
bookworm. He only had one day to spend by himself, with no other such
opportunity in the foreseeable future. It was already close to afternoon.
So much to do, so little time.
Tenchi slung his bag over his shoulder and began to walk leisurely
towards downtown, his jacket hanging over his arm. As a slightly chilly
breeze ruffled his hair, he asked aloud, "I wonder how Arcese is doing?"

"I'm worried about Tenchi," Sasami said.
"Yeah, he's been acting awfully funny today," Mihoshi agreed.
"You mean, almost like he's been drinking?" Ryoko added slyly.
Washu chuckled. "Trust me, Tenchi is just fine," she said.
"What makes you so sure?" Ayeka asked.
"Just trust me on this," Washu replied. "His odd behavior is
nothing to be concerned about."
"Nothing to be concerned about?" Kiyone asked. "He ate wax,
Washu. Wax! That's not normal!"
"I agree with Kiyone," Ayeka said to Washu. "Something must be
done about Lord Tenchi's behavior."
Washu put a hand to her chin and thought for a moment. Then, a
wide, devilish smile overtook her face. "You know what? You're right,
Ayeka," she said. "After all, Tenchi said that he's been feeling under the
weather today, right? So, I say we tend to his every whim and make sure
he's back to his old self again."
"Yeah, let's all pamper him today!" Mihoshi said ecstatically.
"Until he can't stand it," Washu said under her breath.
"Sounds like a great idea," Ryoko said as she began to race up the
stairs. "I'll make sure he's tucked in nice and cozy."
"Ryoko," Ayeka called after her, "if Tenchi isn't feeling well, then
he needs his rest."
"Don't worry, Ayeka," Ryoko replied with a grin. "I promise that,
by the time I'm done, he'll be sleeping like a baby."
"Ryoko!" Ayeka said, beginning to give chase. A hand on her
shoulder stopped her.
"Let her go," Washu said. "This is going to be interesting."
"Washu, I'm sure the last thing Tenchi wants is to be pestered
while he's trying to rest!" Ayeka shot back at her.
Washu again grinned evilly. "All the more reason for Ryoko to do
just that," she said.

In an attempt to save face after making a total fool of himself at the
breakfast table, Arcese told the girls that he would have a lie down in his
room. He laid on the bed and shut his eyes, losing himself in thought. A
day as Tenchi, or indeed any human, would be a tougher task than he had
originally thought. If he kept making dumb mistakes like eating
centerpieces, his cover would surely be blown in no time. Amazing how,
after all he had gone over with Tenchi yesterday, he had completely
forgotten to ask the basic questions, like which items on a table were and
were not fit for consumption. He cursed himself for letting such a glaring
detail slip his mind.
He felt a heavy weight manifest itself on his stomach. He opened
his eyes, and found Ryoko straddling his midsection. So engrossed was he
in his reflections that he had not paid any attention to Ryoko's emotional
signature as she phased into the room. Ryoko leaned down and, with her
lips nearly touching Arcese's whispered, "I hope you're comfortable,
sweetie."
Arcese grabbed Ryoko's waist and threw her off him. He leapt up
from the bed and sprang to the opposite end of the room, clutching his
chest. "For the love of God, don't you knock?!" he asked in a tone of
outrage.
Ryoko was a bit surprised. For someone who was under the
weather, Tenchi certainly seemed to have a lot of energy. "Well, if I
knocked, then it would spoil the surprise, now wouldn't it?" she asked.
"Ryoko, I'm trying to relax here," Arcese said, imitating Tenchi's
agitated, slightly nasal voice perfectly. "What are you doing barging in?"
"Washu said that we should take care of you today," Ryoko said
innocently as she walked towards him, "with you not feeling well and all.
I just came to make sure you were comfy. Now, be a good boy, and let me
tuck you in."
Arcese blushed as he read her emotions. She wanted to tuck him
in, alright; with the intention of joining him. He once again marveled at
how Tenchi was able to put up with this kind of attention. No wonder the
poor guy needed a day off.
"My poor, poor Tenchi," Ryoko said as she put her arms around
Arcese and snuggled close. "I could make you feel so much better if you
let me."
"Er, uh, there will be no need for that!" Arcese stammered as he
pried Ryoko's arms off of himself. He turned his back to her and walked
to the bed, taking a seat on the edge and massaging his temples. Ryoko
followed him and sat next to him, a very questioning look on her face.
"Tenchi, it's your day off," Ryoko said. "Why can't you just kick
back and have some fun with me?"
"Because your definition of 'fun' seems to be very different from
mine," Arcese returned.
"Is it?" Ryoko asked coyly as she walked her fingers along his
thigh.
"Apparently," Arcese said. Begging hadn't worked, nor had being
frank. So, Arcese decided to try some diplomacy. "Listen, Ryoko," he
said, "I'm really flattered by all the attention you're giving me today. I
guess, in a way, I appreciate it, too. But the simple fact is that I'm just not
in the same frame of mind as you. I don't want you to get offended if it
seems like I'm trying to shoo you away, okay? Can you just do me a favor
and cool it a bit?"
Ryoko looked away sadly. "It seems like that's all you've been
wanting me to do lately," she said.
"Come on, Ryoko, don't be like that," Arcese pleaded. "You know
I care about you. You know I would never say or do anything to hurt you.
I try my best to keep you happy, but sometimes what you ask of me is
something that I just can't live up to. I'm sorry, I really am."
Ryoko looked at Arcese a little coldly. "You don't want to be with
me at all, do you, Tenchi?" she asked.
"I didn't say that!" Arcese replied hurriedly, sensing that she was
quite hurt.
"So what do you want, then?" Ryoko asked. "How much longer
are you going to string me along?"
"Is that what you think I'm doing?" Arcese asked. "Have you ever
stopped to consider how confused I might be? How much thought I have
to put into this whole situation? Do you really think I can just snap my
fingers and come to a decision?"
"Then let me help you decide, Tenchi!" Ryoko said as she grasped
his shoulders. She began to bring her face closer to his. Arcese had an
idea of what she was planning.
"I really don't think you want to do this now," he said with
agitation.
"But I do," Ryoko said. "I've wanted to do it for so long."
Ryoko was holding Arcese quite tightly. He felt like he was
between a rock and a hard place. He certainly did not want Ryoko to kiss
him. However, if he used enough power to break from Ryoko's clutches,
she would suspect something to be wrong. It seemed as though he had no
choice but to let Ryoko proceed. He winced as their lips met.
Arcese had kissed Ryoko before. However, he had been the
aggressor, and it was more of a joke than anything else. This kiss certainly
was not a joke. It was deep, passionate, and laden with incredible
emotions, some of which Arcese could not even read. Arcese was very
alarmed at the kiss, because he was sure that he did not kiss like Tenchi,
and Ryoko might have picked up on that. He also became alarmed
because he was starting to like it. His logical mind screamed for him to
find a way out of the situation. His human side, on the other hand, begged
to continue. After an epic internal struggle, Arcese's logic won out.
Once Ryoko's grip had relaxed a little, Arcese braced his hands
against her shoulders and pushed her away. At the same time, he backed
off to the other side of the bed, a look of shock and disbelief on his face.
Resisting the urge to kiss back was one of the most difficult things he had
ever had to do. He was glad that he had the resolve to do so. However, he
was secretly disappointed that he broke the kiss.
Ryoko stood up and growled angrily. "Dammit, Tenchi!" she
yelled as she stormed out of the room, slamming the door noisily behind
her. Arcese again winced. Ryoko was very angry. More than that,
however, she was disillusioned, saddened, and disappointed.
Arcese shook his head. "I really messed this one up," he said to
himself.

Chapter 5: Lose-Lose Situation

"Oh, man, the girls would go nuts if I brought this stuff home!"
Tenchi said as he pressed his face to the jewelry store window. What
amazing glittering trinkets dazzled his eyes from behind the glass. The
soft light from the shop twinkled off the stones and precious metals in an
overwhelming kaleidoscope of illumination. His eyes were drawn to
nothing in particular, continuing to rove from piece to piece, letting his
vision dance over the display like bees over a flower garden. The cool
blues, the powerful purples, the soft greens, and the blinding whites were
almost too much for him to take in. His rationality getting the better of
him, he stepped back and thanked the fact that he did not bring a lot of
money with him; if he had, he would have surely spent it all there.
Loathe to tear himself away from the window, he finally decided to
move on, carrying his bag of small purchases with him. So far he had
bought a new scarf, navy blue in color, and a box of sweets. Mainly, he
wandered around the town at his own pace, constantly thankful for this
chance to spend some time away. Ironically, aside from reflecting on his
elation at his moment of independent leisure, his thoughts were mostly of
the girls. As he moved from window to window, he would see items that
would spur him to think, [Kiyone would love that dress,] or, [Sasami
would absolutely adore that plush cat.] He had been willing to do
anything for a day off, and here he was, the girls occupying the majority of
his mind.
Tenchi checked his watch. There was still a lot of time left before
he was due back at the house. He slowed his window shopping down to a
crawl. How nice to be able to browse as he saw fit. Invariably, if the girls
were with him, they would have dragged him willy-nilly about town. He
had made the mistake of going into town with the girls once, and recalled
that they had led him around by the arm so much it took two weeks for his
rotator cuff injuries to heal. He sighed and grasped both shoulders,
remembering well the day in question. Of course, the memories of
discomfort caused him to again think about his stand-in. He wondered
aloud, "I wonder how Arcese is doing?"

Arcese stared back into the mirror, paying particularly close
attention to his now amber eyes. "God damn it!" he shouted, pounding his
hand on the desk. He had prayed that something like this would not
happen. He had hoped against all odds that, somehow, he would not be
put into a situation where he would be forced to compromise someone's
feelings for the sake of keeping his own secret. If someone became upset
with him, then they became upset at Tenchi.
Someone knocked on his door. "Come in," he said, hurriedly
putting his shades back on. The door opened, and Washu stepped through,
regarding him with piercing eyes. "I need to see you in my lab," she said
curtly.
Arcese coughed. "Please, Washu, no testing today, alright?" he
requested.
"No tests, I promise," Washu said. "I just need to talk to you."
Arcese sighed. He could sense that Washu was quite serious,
meaning the conversation she wanted to have with him was something he
probably could not handle. That, coupled with Ryoko's distress,
compounded his wish that he had never made the offer to take Tenchi's
place, even for a day. Convinced that his charade would be too stressful to
bear, Arcese slogged out of Tenchi's room, following Washu downstairs
and into the lab.
"Have a seat," Washu said, pointing to a table as she sat in her own
chair. Arcese hoisted himself up and sat, his legs dangling down. Washu
noticed that they were shaking a bit.
"What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Arcese asked tightly.
Washu glared at him for several uncomfortable moments, almost
delighting in watching the person sitting across from her fidget. Finally,
she said, "Well, I never would have guessed that you'd ever do anything
this bold, Arcese."
Arcese gasped, leaving his mouth hanging open quite impolitely
for a long time. "How did you figure it out!?" he inquired at length.
"A number of clues," Washu explained. "The note you left this
morning, the sunglasses, the wax fruit; it didn't take me too long to put
two and two together. Where's Tenchi?"
Arcese hung his head and sighed. "He's in town," he said weakly.
"He wanted a day off, but he didn't want you and the girls to feel
neglected. So, I offered to take his place for the day. I thought I could
handle it alright, but I guess I really messed up."
Washu leaned forward. "Let me see your eyes," Washu said.
Arcese did as he was told and removed his sunglasses, exposing eyes that
mirrored Ryoko's in color. "I see," Washu considered. "You know how
upset she is."
"Yes," Arcese said sheepishly.
"And you know it's your fault," Washu continued.
"Yes, I do," Arcese confirmed.
"And you know that Tenchi is the one she's upset with right now,"
Washu returned.
"Yes, I know," Arcese assured her.
"So what are you going to do about it?" Washu asked him.
"What can I do?" Arcese shot back at her.
"You could come clean," Washu suggested. "Drop that disguise
and take the blame."
"Then all the girls would be mad at me," Arcese replied. "And at
Tenchi, too."
"Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you decided
to go through with this stupid idea in the first place!" Washu snapped.
"Did you think we wouldn't find out? Do you really think we don't know
Tenchi well enough to spot an impostor from a mile away, even if he looks
and sounds just like him? Take my advice and stop this crazy act now. If
I found out, then it won't be long before someone else does."
Arcese was frozen in his seat. All day long the notion that his plan
was a bad idea ate at him little by little. Now that it had exploded in his
face, he wished that he had never even considered it. He braced his
forehead with his palm and sank his head between his knees.
"I'm very disappointed in you, Arcese," Washu continued. "I
thought you were programmed well enough to realize just how foolish and
stupid an idea like this is. I guess I can only hope that you've learned
something from this, and never even think about doing it again." Her hard
gaze softened a little. "On the bright side, this shows how human you
really are. People make mistakes. Now it's your responsibility to fix this
one."
"I'm sorry, Washu," Arcese said. "I shouldn't have done this."
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," Washu said,
pointing to the exit. Arcese got the hint and dejectedly walked out of the
laboratory.
"Where are you going, Tenchi?" Sasami asked as Arcese made his
way to the front door.
"I want to find Ryoko," Arcese replied glumly. "I need to talk to
her."
"Well, she ran out a while ago," Sasami said. Ryo-ohki, who had
been at Sasami's feet, hopped forward and looked questioningly at Arcese.
Arcese analyzed the emotions of the cabbit, sensing confusion and
realization. Arcese took a step back; apparently, Ryo-ohki had figured
him out as well.
"I really should get going," Arcese said hurriedly, making for the
door. "This is important."
"Good luck, Tenchi!" Sasami called after him. "Boy, Tenchi
seemed really nervous," she said, turning to Ryo-ohki. She then burst out
excitedly, "Do you think Tenchi is going to ask Ryoko out?"
Ryo-ohki meowed and shook her head.

It hurt Arcese to read Ryoko's emotions to get a fix on her
position. She was unbelievably upset, more than he had ever felt from her
before. The fact that it was his actions that caused her distress racked him
with guilt. As much as he did not want to reveal his deception for
Tenchi's sake, he knew that, if he did not apologize to Ryoko and tell her
the truth, he would never forgive himself. So, he continued to walk,
depression and fear weighing heavily on his mind.
He gulped when he reached the mouth of the cave. Right now,
Ryoko was somewhere in there, and she was not happy. She would be
even less happy when Arcese revealed that it was not Tenchi who rejected
her, but him posing as the man she cared for more than life itself. He
hoped that Washu had gathered enough information on him during her
testing to be able to repair him once Ryoko beat the living snot out of him.
"Ryoko," Arcese called softly as he made his way farther back into
the shadowy recesses of the cave. "Ryoko, are you here? Ryoko, where
are you?" Arcese received no answer, but knew that she was close.
Ahead, a soft light illuminated the walls. He followed it to a rear room
and found Ryoko sitting on a stone, a lantern in the middle of the floor
casting its pallid orange glow about the chamber. Ryoko looked very sad
indeed, a sight that broke Arcese's heart.
Arcese's footfalls roused Ryoko from her thoughts, and she looked
up to see who had discovered her. "Go away, Tenchi!" she said harshly.
"I don't want to talk to you."
"Well, you're not going to talk to Tenchi," Arcese said, as he
removed his sunglasses. "You're going to talk to me."
Before Ryoko could ponder what he meant, he saw the form before
her begin to distort. She wondered if the dim light was playing tricks on
her, but the changes were too drastic to be a mere optical illusion. She
watched as the ponytail changed to spiky locks, and as the skin color
seemed to lighten. The figure even grew a couple of inches, and the facial
features most certainly changed. Despite the unfamiliar eye color, Ryoko
immediately recognized the shapeshifter. "Arcese?" she queried.
"Yes, Ryoko," he confirmed, his voice having changed back to his
own. "It's been me all day, not Tenchi. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong
idea. Please, don't be upset at Tenchi. I made a mistake, and I'm sorry."
Ryoko stared blankly at him for several moments. She finally
broke the awkward silence by asking, "Where's Tenchi?"
"Tenchi went into town today," Arcese replied. "He'll be back this
evening."
Ryoko continued to stare vacantly at Arcese. Arcese couldn't
make heads or tails of what Ryoko was feeling; her emotions were
completely jumbled. For what seemed like an eternity the two exchanged
stares. Arcese's eyes widened as he finally found which emotion began to
manifest itself most prominently in Ryoko's mind, and as her face slowly
contorted to match that emotion. That emotion was flaming rage.
Arcese turned one foot towards the exit of the cave. "Oh, hell," he
whimpered.
Had any people been near the cave to witness the event that
transpired, they would have seen a most unusual sight. No one would
have ever believed their crazy story about the cave coming to life and
breathing fire, ultimately to spit out a rather terrified man who survived a
high speed, head-on collision with a large boulder about fifty meters away.
No one who hadn't seen it would ever believe that that is exactly what
happened; except, of course, that it was Ryoko, not the cave, that was
spouting fire.
The clothes that he had borrowed from Tenchi burned off his back,
Arcese hurriedly materialized an outfit for himself. He pulled his head
from out of the hole it had made in the rock and stood up, not hurt very
badly at all. He turned around apprehensively to see a very pissed off
Ryoko emerge from the cave, a terrible scowl on her face, both fists
clenched tightly in unbelievable anger. "You letch! You scum! You
pervert!" she shouted hotly. "And to think I was actually starting to like
you! You shipped Tenchi off to town and took his place just so you could
score with me, didn't you?"
"What!? No!" Arcese pleaded. "That's not it at all! You have to
at least believe that I had no intention of taking advantage of you at all!
This is a big misunderstanding!"
"Misunderstand this!" Ryoko shouted. She flew forward at
blinding speed and punched Arcese square in the stomach, sending him
flying backwards and through the trunks of several trees. In fact, the clear-
cut created by the airborne android would have been sufficient to
accommodate several power lines. Once he had skidded to a halt a
hundred or so meters away, he got back up to his feet, just in time to see
Ryoko begin walking towards him, very deliberately. Even from the great
distance that separated them, he could hear her shouting. She raised her
hand above her head and formed a golf ball-sized energy attack, and
yelled, "You no good, horrible, lying, scum-sucking, two-faced, lecherous,
filthy, sick-minded, worthless, useless, hopeless, detestable, deceptive,
shallow, cowardly, selfish, insensitive, bad, bad, bad, stupid, stupid,
stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID!"
During her tirade Ryoko had swiftly closed the distance between
herself and Arcese, and the ball of energy in her hand had grown to about
the size of a beach ball. Arcese backed away slowly. "I know you're
upset, Ryoko," he said, trying to soothe her, "but couldn't we just talk
about this?"
"Less chat, more splat!" Ryoko shouted back at him. The energy
in her raised hand continued to grow.
"Ryoko," Arcese pleaded, "blowing me up isn't going to solve
anything."
"No, but it'll make me feel better!" Ryoko screeched. Without
another word, Ryoko heaved the energy ball--now the size of a
Volkswagen--straight at Arcese. He only watched helplessly as the orange
ball grew in his field of view. He felt himself plastered to the ground
under the shear force of the attack.
Needless to say, a very large explosion occurred. A shower of
rocks and trees displaced by the shockwave were blown into the air and
proceeded to rain down on the countryside. A crater about the size of a
football field had formed at the point of impact, the exposed rock smoking
from the intense heat. Ryoko surveyed the damage. Satisfied at her
handiwork, she knelt down, breathing heavily, having exhausted a good
portion of her energy.
As she caught her breath, Ryoko's eyes caught movement from the
edge of the crater. She was more annoyed than surprised to see Arcese
crawl up from underneath the debris. He was dirty and smoking a little
and a bit disoriented, but otherwise fine. He made it to his knees, then
laboriously stood up. He began wobbling towards Ryoko, sensing that
most of her anger had dissipated, but his progress was halted when he fell
over. He hurriedly scrambled to his feet again and continued his unsteady
approach. He stopped and looked down at her, blinking quite a bit.
"You okay?" Ryoko asked disinterestedly.
"Yeah," Arcese said. "Are you done?"
"Yeah," Ryoko said.
"Feel better?" Arcese asked.
"A little," Ryoko said.
"So, you want to go back to the house now?" Arcese asked.
"Okay," Ryoko said as she stood up.
"Okay," Arcese said as he stumbled alongside Ryoko. He fell over
again. "I'm fine," he said as he again struggled to his feet. He felt himself
losing his balance again, and grabbed Ryoko's shoulder for support.
Ryoko punched Arcese in the face, sending him to the ground.
"Don't touch me," she said.
"Sorry," Arcese replied. The pair continued to walk back to the
house, with Ryoko becoming very impatient as Arcese fell over once every
twenty steps, give or take. By the time they made it back to the house,
however, he seemed to have regained most of his equilibrium. When they
walked through the front door, Sasami was there to greet them. "Arcese!"
she said with surprise. "You're back! How was your day off?" Arcese
grumbled unintelligibly.
"Oh, and I heard a really loud noise outside," Sasami continued. "I
think it was by Ryoko's cave. Did you see what happened?"
Arcese looked at Sasami with dead eyes. "Yeah, I saw it," he said
weakly.
Sasami's expression grew concerned. "You don't look so good,"
she said. "You look like you're... Arcese, did you stop at a bar on the way
back?"
Arcese nearly pulled the hair out of his head as he screamed, "I
HAVEN'T BEEN DRINKING!!"

Chapter 6: Like a Rose

Tenchi whistled jauntily as he approached the tool shed, the
scheduled rendezvous point that would herald the end of his spectacular
day off. He swung his bag of purchases at his side. The bag contained the
scarf and the box of chocolates, as well as a music CD, a pair of wool
mittens, a day calendar for the coming year, and a book on ancient
civilizations that would help him with his schoolwork. He grinned from
ear to ear; mostly because he had just spent a marvelous day, but also
because he was looking forward to seeing the girls again, as he felt
refreshed and relaxed. He took a deep breath of the clean, crisp evening
air as he opened the door to the tool shed. The sight that greeted him
wiped the smile off his face very quickly.
Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami, Kiyone, Mihoshi, Washu, and even Ryo-
ohki were there, looking at Tenchi rather sternly. Arcese poked his head
up from behind the girls. "Sorry, Tenchi," he said apologetically, "but
Washu found out, then I had to tell Ryoko, and she got mad and told
everyone, and now they all know that you were gone the whole day."
Tenchi stood there, his heart rapidly sinking into the pit of his
stomach. His knees trembled and his teeth chattered, certainly not a result
of the chill night air. His grip weakened, and his travel bag and bag of
merchandise fell to the floor. He was gripped with fear. His life flashed
before his eyes as Ryoko stepped forward.
"Tenchi, why?" she asked, her look very serious. "Why did you
feel the need to deceive us like that? I just don't understand why... you...
you..." Ryoko trailed off as she noticed the bag on the floor. Her eyes lit
up. "You bought us presents!"
"Uh-" Tenchi began to say, but was cut off when all the girls
rushed forward and tore into the bag, erupting in a chorus of, "What'd you
get me? What'd you get me?"
"Oh, what a beautiful scarf!" Ryoko said as she wrapped it around
her neck. "This goes so well with an outfit I've got. Thank you, Tenchi."
"Oh, wow! Chocolates!" Sasami chirped. "They look really
yummy. Thank you, Tenchi!"
"Oh, my goodness, what lovely mittens," Ayeka said as she placed
them on her hands. "These are so nice and warm. Thank you very much,
Lord Tenchi."
"Hey, how did you know I was into ancient civilizations?" Washu
asked as she held up the book. "Thanks a lot!"
"Great, a calendar!" Kiyone said. "What a practical idea. Never
hurts to be organized. Thanks, Tenchi."
"Wow, this is one of my favorite bands!" Mihoshi said excitedly,
holding the CD. "I think I'll listen to it tonight. Thank you so much,
Tenchi!"
"Uh, you're welcome?" Tenchi said confusedly.
"And not even an occasion!" Sasami said.
"So, that's what you were doing," Washu determined. "You didn't
want us to know that you were out buying us presents, is that it?"
"Um, okay," Tenchi replied.
"Aww, what a sweetie!" Mihoshi said.
"We didn't know, Tenchi," Kiyone added. "We're sorry we got
mad at you."
"Yes, I'm very sorry I doubted you," Ayeka said. "Can you forgive
us?"
"Um, okay," Tenchi said.
"Great!" Sasami said cheerfully. "How about I make you
something to eat, Tenchi?"
"Um, okay," Tenchi replied.
All of the girls lined up to hug Tenchi before they left the tool
shed. Even Ryo-ohki nuzzled Tenchi's cheek from the top of Sasami's
head. All the girls made their way back to the house, laughing and
giggling, showing off their "gifts." However, Ryoko stayed behind.
"Tenchi," she cooed, "I should have known better than to get mad
at you. You always do sweet stuff like this. You're so perfect." She
hugged him.
"Er, thank you, Ryoko," Tenchi said tightly.
Ryoko tightened her grip a little. "I'll bet you'll never guess what
gift I'd like to give you in return," she said coyly. "Let me give you a hint:
It's got amber eyes, it's got cyan hair, it's got the hots for you, and you'll
have loads of fun unwrapping it."
Tenchi tensed and squirmed a little bit. Ryoko mercifully released
him and gave him a wink. She turned and walked out of the tool shed,
swiveling her hips excessively as she caught up with the others.
Tenchi stood dumbfounded. It was a long time before he could
move. He turned around to face Arcese, who had stood and watched the
proceedings with a look frozen in surprise and shock. The two stared at
each other for a long time, not knowing quite what to think. Finally,
Tenchi asked, "Arcese, what just happened?"
Arcese shook his head. "I have no idea," he replied.
The two stood in silence for a few more moments. Tenchi was
feeling very dazed and confused as a result of what he had just witnessed.
He leaned on the doorway for support. "So, you want to go back to the
house now?" he asked.
"Okay," Arcese said. The two shuffled uneasily back towards the
house. Tenchi seemed to have a hard time walking; the trembling in his
legs hadn't quite died down yet. He had to lean on Arcese several times
for support. Arcese looked questioningly at him. "Tenchi, you're walking
like you're kinda drunk," he said.
Tenchi looked at him rather impatiently. "No, Arcese," he replied,
"I haven't been drinking."
Arcese chuckled. "That makes two of us, Tenchi," he said. "That
makes two of us."