Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ I'm Too Sexy... ❯ I'm too sexy... ( One-Shot )

I'm Too Sexy…

By: Oriana X. Myst

Song: "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred

Rating: PG

Pairings: None

"Welcome to the annual Ohtori Academy Fashion Show," the shadow girl that was called A-ko called out over the speakers. After the clapping died down, she began again, this time making her voice go deep in order to get that "in the ring" announcer sound. "Tonight we have some of the latest designs from the Fashion Department. Here to talk a little more about it is the head of the department, Mrs. Ohtori!"

At those words, the curtains opened slightly-just enough to let pass the reed thin Mrs. Ohtori. For her age, she still had the curves and moves of a true supermodel and everyone was silent as she stepped up to the microphone. Her face, as usual, could not be seen beneath the shade of her wide rimmed dark green hat. Her blue hair was pulled back with a small green bow and her suit, perfectly fit to her body, stopped just above the knees. Her shoes were black high heels and they clicked softly in the silence of the large room. She wrapped two perfectly smooth hands around the microphone and some of the male students could be heard groaning softly.

"Thank you all for coming. The students in my department thank you also. We are proud to have this chance every year to show just how far along we have come in our designs. I have a few things to say before we begin, so please listen closely." She paused a moment and then continued. "While the models are on stage, please hold your applause until the end. They need to concentrate on their movements and it might disturb them to hear the loud clapping. It is appropriate for you to clap when the entire show is over… it really shouldn't take too long, so do not worry about it.

"Also, pictures are fine, but please try not to blind the models. They will be walking and we do not want any of them to trip, now do we?"

There were a few chuckles from the crowd and two flashes in answer to her question.

Mrs. Ohtori thanked the crowd again, told them to enjoy themselves, and walked back to the curtain. As soon as it closed, the other shadow girl B-ko piped up on the speakers. "Alright! Well, you heard the boss-lady, let's get this thing star-"

"Hold it a second," A-ko interrupted. "We have one more announcement."

"Huh? Oh, yes that's right!" A TOING! could be heard from the speakers and then a chuckling B-ko came back on. "Today, we have a special guest. We're not sure exactly who they are, but they will be the last model, so look for them."

"Oh! We almost forgot something else," A-ko chirped merrily. "Our other models tonight will be, Utena Tenjou, Anthy Himemiya, Juri Arisugawa, Miki Kaoru, Kyuichi Saionji, Nanami Kiryuu, Touga Kiryuu, Wakaba Shinohara, Souji Mikage and our very own academy chairman, Akio Ohtori!"

Loud clapping and whistling filled the room and A-ko and B-ko called out loudly when the noise died down a bit. "AND NOW… LET THE SHOW BEGIN!!" The clapping started again and then finally stopped when the music began pounding through the speakers.

~I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love, love's going to leave me!~

Behind the curtain, Utena pulled back her head quickly from the crack she was peaking through. "Oh shit! It's time everyone!" She ran-her outfit having pants instead of a skirt as was originally planned-over to the rest of the group.

Akio leaned back in the chair he was sitting in and put the glass of water to his lips. He took a calm drink and then spoke. "Calm yourself, Utena dear. You're not on yet." He motioned over to Touga who was talking softly to a non-to-calm Saionji in the corner of the backstage area. "He's going first. You'd better let him know."

Utena ran over to Touga and caught the last part of the conversation.

"…ag purple. No way!" Saionji said heatedly as Utena approached.

"You promised you would do this, Saionji. It's just a few minutes…oh, Utena. I didn't hear you coming," Touga said, suavely turning in her direction when she tapped his shoulder. "Did you need something?"

Her face was comical to say the least. Her jaw was hanging to her chest and her eyes were vacant, blue lines floating just above them. She shook her head to snap out of it and practically shoved him out on stage. "You're up Kiryuu. Break a leg!"

Akio scratched his chin in thought as he watched the scene progress. He turned to Mrs. Ohtori who had walked backstage a while before and was now seated next to him on a chair with faded "Director" painted on it. "Shouldn't you be the one "shoving" people out there? This is your show you know." He looked around at the almost-empty-except-for-the-models-backstage-area and shook his head. "Where are all the students from the fashion club? Weren't they supposed to be here to help?"

The older woman nodded, her hat dipping close to Akio's nose each time she did and spoke softly. "The others will be here soon. They were picking up one of the outfits that they forgot. It is for the special guest."

Akio looked around the room a moment and then back at her, a lavender eyebrow arching up gracefully. "Special guest? Who is it?"

She tilted her head to the side and thought a moment. "I am not sure. Someone called and asked if they could be in the show. We needed one more person so I did not mind saying yes."

"You don't even know the person's name?"

"No."

Touga pushed aside the curtains, not letting Utena and Miki run to wheel them up and the spotlight suddenly fell on him. There were "oohs" and "aahs" from the crowd and he was sure he heard someone faint and orgasm. He smiled and got an "OHH!!" before he turned around and started tapping his foot to the beat.

A-ko's voice came over the speaker again. "And here we have our first model, Touga Kiryuu. He's wearing a dinner outfit designed by the senior, Maris Hikosona, top of her class."

He turned and began to walk toward the crowd, making one turn before he got midway to the runway end. His outfit was a blue that perfectly offset his eyes and made his hair seem brighter than usual. The coat he wore hung down to his knees and was unbuttoned to reveal a lighter blue/grey shirt-untucked-underneath. The pants were the perfect length, stopping just above his black patent leather shoes.

~I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts!~

He got to the end of the stage and did a turn while throwing his coat completely open and opening his shirt to reveal his perfectly chiseled chest. The shirt had been made specifically for that moment on stage so had been held together using snaps instead of buttons.

The sound of swooning females and some clearing of the throat from a few of the males along with tons of clicking-that was accompanied by a large amount of flashing lights-nearly drowned out the music.

Touga smiled and began to walk back toward the curtain while swinging his hips to the music and Miki came out from the back as he passed the halfway mark.

"Next is Miki Kaoru in this alteration of the school's uniform, by junior Hakiri Jangen."

~I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan.~

Miki walked up to the front of the stage and stood just to the right, looking at the crowd on that side before making a turn and going to the left side and doing the same, his face a slight pink. His outfit looked like an Ohtori Academy uniform except that it had short sleeves, a shorter collar, and was a dark aqua in color. He turned and strode toward the curtain as Juri walked by with a wink.

"Here we have Juri Arisugawa modeling the latest casual wear from the foreign exchange student, Yurisa Unkmon."

~I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party. No way I'm disco dancing!~

As the last words were said, Juri sauntered up to the edge of the stage and put her hands behind her head to give a little wiggle of her hips. Some in the crowd whistled and others chuckled; flashes went off. Her outfit was a bit different than the rest. Her shirt cut across her chest at an angle and tucked under her arm so that one arm had a sleeve and one did not. It was a bronze/gold color and hugged her form flatteringly. The pants were black cut-offs that stopped just below the knees and she wore black thick-soled sandals that tied around her calves.

She walked off to the beat and gave Utena a high five as she walked passed her.

"Ms. Utena Tenjou is sporting an outfit of casual business wear, designed by sophomore, Jenasai Ronkaku, an upcoming model herself."

~I'm a model, you know what I mean, and I do my little turn on the catwalk.~

Utena turned as the lyrics rang out and ended up stopping right before the edge of the runway. She put her hand on one hip and then put her hand on the other, shifting her legs to lean in each direction in turn.

Her outfit was a rose pink-her favorite color-and had it had a skirt, would have been completely framed in black lining with a black coiled rose on the front left hand lapel. Instead, her pants, which had been made at the last minute because she refused to wear a skirt, had no sides in black and was completely pink. Black shoes finished the ensemble. The shirt and pants molded perfectly to every move she made and she was quite happy with the outfit. She had even asked the designer if she could keep it afterward, of which she was answered with an enthusiastic "YES!" Utena made her way to the back of the stage and stopped to do a turn.

~Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, I do my little turn on the catwalk.~

As she completed her turn, she thought she heard a motor revving. Shaking her head, she was just in time to jump out of the way as Akio's car came through the curtain-slowly, but still-and stopped under the spotlight for a second before driving forward at a creeping snail pace.

"Oh! That's right, that was another surprise," B-ko's voice announced. "Akio-sama is not only showing off his casual wear but his new paint job as well."

Saionji looked through the crack in the curtain at the scene outside and huffed. "This is ridiculous," he mumbled to himself. "Who the hell brings a car here? To a fashion show?!"

"He does, apparently," Juri's voice came from right behind him.

He turned, the frills on his shirt swishing with the movement. "Yes, I can see that," he grumbled.

~I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car, too sexy by far!~

Akio's car continued to the end of the stage and as it bumped down to the floor in-between the crowd, the academy chairman flipped over the steering wheel and windshield and landed on his knees gracefully. He leaned back and put his hand behind his head while lifting one leg in the air.

His outfit was a light grey long sleeved shirt with a black and purple striped tie (think Chuchu tie), a pair of black pants that folded up at the bottom and a pair of black suede shoes.

Flashes of light were seen as he stayed on his car hood and his car continued to the end of the room. It and he disappeared through the doorway and there were cheers.

~I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat,~

Nanami walked on stage with a mustard colored dress that had short poufy sleeves with frills at the end and cinched at the waste while stopping just short of her ankles in a poufy…er…poof(?). No one announced her, no one took pictures, in fact, everyone was still looking at where Akio had left the room and others were chatting amongst themselves. It was rumored later that she designed and sewed her own dress because none of the fashion students admitted to having created it.

She huffed up to the front of the stage and yelled as loud as she could, "Hello!? I'm here in a dress to show YOU!!!"

~What d'you think about that?~

"Times up Nanami!" Maris called out from behind the curtain. "Come on back here, hurry! We need to get Saionji-san out there!"

She could hear the huffing and puffing Nanami was doing and smirked. This was the only way she could get away with bossing the little twit around. She turned back to where the other designers were fiddling with Saionji's outfit.

He was wearing a purple ruffled shirt that perfectly matched his eyes with a black vest over it, covering all but the front ruffles and the sleeves. His pants were snug around his waist and crotch and showed every little detail of his groin and butt (much to the delight of all the girls poking and prodding at him now).

Saionji tried shrugging them off and slapping their hands away but they suddenly grabbed him and heaved him through the curtain. Stumbling-and glad that the spotlight hadn't reached him yet-he fixed himself a little and gave a low growl before standing up straight with one hand grabbing the inner lapel of his vest near the chest ruffles.

Nanami finally passed him with a sneer and he walked forward as the music continued.

"Next up is Kyuichi Saionji, our kendo captain. Doesn't he look stunning in this dancing outfit from Iria Genrui? I personally like the ruffles," B-ko announced happily.

~I'm a model, you know what I mean,~

Saionji controlled his anger. He didn't want to look stupid in front of the crowd of people. He stepped forward and turned, then positioned himself so everyone could look at his outfit. I cannot believe I am doing this. This shirt is fag purple!! He thought heatedly.

~And I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk,~

His eyes opened slightly as he remembered what he was supposed to do on the next line. He swallowed and stopped at the end of the runway before doing a half turn and showing his backside to the crowd. He heard cameras snapping and saw the reflection of the flashes on the curtain he was now facing. He also saw just about every one of the models backstage peek through the curtain to see this part of the show. Saionji swore that he would kill Touga and Utena for convincing him to do this.

~Yeah, I shake my little toosh on the catwalk.~

Saionji cringed and wiggled his bottom before starting off to the back of the stage. There were a few claps and an "Oh how cute!!" as he walked as gracefully as possible to the backstage.

Anthy was next, so as he neared the curtain, she stepped out of it with Chuchu in her hands.

Saionji stalked passed her and threw back the curtains with a growl. "I am never doing that again!!! I felt like an asshole!!"

"Well, you didn't look like one," Touga said with a smirk. He reached over and tugged at Saionji's ruffles, making the junior glare hard at him.

Miki, Juri and Wakaba nodded.

"Yeah, I think you did a great job," Wakaba piped up.

Saionji made a face and stomped over to the changing rooms.

"Anthy Himemiya is dressed in an evening gown by Rinshai Soryuu a freshman and newest edition to the design crew."

~I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my…~

Anthy's dress reached the floor and the back piece dragged behind her like a river of purple silk. The material was a sheen-covered violet that hung in waves down the front and was tighter near the top. It was a square cut with thin strips to hold onto the shoulders, each strip adorned at the bottom with a small diamond clip.

~Cuz I'm a model, you know what I mean,~

Chuchu was wearing a new tie. Instead of the red tie with a yellow stripe, it was a white tie with a violet stripe that matched Anthy's dress. He smiled widely at the crowd and puffed out his chest. The Rose Bride stretched out her hands and walked halfway to the end of the runway.

~And I do my little turn on the catwalk,~

Chuchu put one finger on his head and spun around like a top. Anthy then continued on her way to the end of the stage and posed, a small smile on her face as she looked around at the crowd. Chuchu stopped spinning and stood up like a captain on a ship.

~Yeah, on the catwalk, yeah, on the catwalk, yeah I shake my little toosh on the catwalk.~

Chuchu suddenly turned and shook his butt at the crowd. "Chu!" There were a few giggles and a few pictures taken before Anthy turned and walked back to the curtain.

"Coming onto the stage now is Wakaba Shinohara, modeling Yuki Fujisho's new line of swim wear!"

~I'm too sexy for my cat,~

Wakaba stepped tentatively out from behind the curtain and clutched the sides of her terry cloth robe with her hands. I can do this, I can do this, she thought, chanting the phrase in her mind. I won't fall and make a fool of myself… I won't… She tripped on her own feet but managed to keep standing and did a turn to cover her mistake. Phew…

~Too sexy for my cat poor.. pussy... poor pussy cat.~

She opened the robe and dropped it to her elbows. There were appreciative "Ahhs" and pictures were taken. Her swimsuit was a bikini colored deep green with tiny flecks of gold. It had triangles tied with strings for the top piece and the bottom came just to her lower abdomen. She was wearing golden sandals that had one strip for the toe and a wider strip to hold onto the foot itself. After she did her turn at the end of the runway, she pulled up the robe and walked backstage, the curtains opening for the pink haired teacher who was up next.

"Souji Mikage is modeling a new twist on the teachers uniform. It was designed by senior Nikiri Hao."

Mikage walked on stage and posed for a second before continuing down the runway and making a turn. His hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and he had thin wire-rimmed glasses that were a very light blue in color. His outfit was the same color as the teacher's uniform he usually wore-navy-blue jacket with white pleated pants and black shoes-but this jacket was a bit tighter and cut off just under his ribs to show off his perfect abdomen. The pants were a lot lower than usual (tighter too), and just hung onto his hips.

~I'm too sexy for my love love's going to leave me ..~

Before he turned to return to the back, he winked and waved at someone in the crowd. A big grin was on his face as he walked passed the last model who was covered from head to foot with long silver robes. He didn't even seem to notice the person until he got to the curtain and the entire place went silent.

Everyone including the models backstage, who had not seen the person walk by them, watched in awe as the robed figure walked quickly and suddenly stopped at the very edge of the stage as if poised to jump.

~And I'm too sexy for this song!~

As the last words of the song were spoken the person threw back their robes. All they could tell was that it was a man because at that very instant a loud POP followed by brightly colored lights exploded from the sides of the stage-the grand finale.

When the smoke cleared the person was gone, but the robes remained. Anthy was unconscious on the floor of the backstage, the crowd was cheering and Akio was standing at the back of the room in the doorway he had exited from. He had come in after he had parked his car and was just in time to see the figure drop his robes. His eyes were wide and one hand was over his mouth as he whispered a name…

"Dios."