Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Silly Utena Crossover Fic! ❯ Chapter 27

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Neon Genesis Ohtori...

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Shinji wailed as he ran across the crowded campus. Right behind him Asuka was starting to catch up, waving an impressively large mallet around. Oddly, she was only wearing a hastily thrown on robe to cover her various assets.

"You are so going to pay for sneaking in to watch me and Rei," Asuka growled, a swing nearly taking Shinji's head off.

"Don't kill me, I'm still a virgin," Shinji wailed.

Watching them run by Anthy made a face, "Eww! Too much information."

Utena looked a bit green upon hearing that as well, "Oh, yeah." She sighed softly, "But still..."

Asuka skidded to a sudden halt as Utena stepped into her path, arms spread. Shinji, seeing an opportunity for continued survival, quickly hid behind her.

"Get out of the way, Tenjou," Asuka said dangerously.

"I can't let you kill someone who's smaller and weaker than you," Utena said patiently, "it wouldn't be honorable."

"Yeah, what she said," Shinji said desperately.

"Shut up or I'll beat you to death myself," Utena looked down at him ominously.

"Shutting up," Shinji squeaked.

Asuka leaned the mallet up against a tree as she considered Utena's argument. "You might have a point," she mused.

"I've got a solution," a smiling Rei caught up with them wearing a EVA uniform with a few carefully cut holes in it and nothing else.

"Rei," Asuka blushed, "I've told you not to wear that in public."

"But Asuka," Rei batted her eyes kawaiily.

A sweatdropping Utena tentatively asked the pale EVA pilot, "You said that you had a solution to the problem?"

"Oh, right," Rei bounced happily, "why not let them fight it out in their EVAs? That way, they'll be physically equal when Asuka beats him up."

"That seems fair," Anthy nodded.

"Good idea," Utena agreed.

Shinji tried to run for his life once again but Utena's outstretched foot quickly brought him down to Earth. Asuka grabbed one leg, Rei the other, and they proceeded to drag him off.

"I'm too young to die," Shinji weeped.

"Take it like a man," Asuka grumbled.

"Or at least more like a woman," Rei smirked.

Not long afterward, they stood in their massive EVAs, a deserted field chosen to be their battleground. Well, deserted except for the stands someone had set up along on one side of the field, full of cheering students.

"Would you like to share my popcorn?" Ami asked Juri with a beaming smile.

"Thanks," Juri smiled, munching happily. "Looks like Asuka's going to win this one easily," she noted, offering Ami some of her drink.

Haruka leaned forward, "Even if Shinji goes bezerk?"

Michiru tugged her back gently, "Asuka's just too good a fighter." She looked over at Haruka suspiciously, "Nabiki didn't talk you into betting on him, did she?"

"Well, yes," Haruka admitted with a sigh.

Michiru shook her head, "You never learn, do you?"

Rei's EVA 00 raised it's arm, "Ready?" There was a extended pause then she threw her arm down and cried, "Fight!"

Shinji's EVA 01 pulled the knife from it's shoulder harness, crouching for battle. "Bring it on," he said, trying to sound confident.

"Ready for a surprise?" Asuka's voice was silkily dangerous.

Shjinji gulped, a sinking feeling rushing over him.

"Twin buster rifles," Asuka pulled the two energy weapons out from behind her, "Fire!"

A massive stream of destructive energy poured out at Shinji's EVA. In a few seconds, the massive robot lay in a smoking heap on the ground, the bolts having cut it into pieces.

"I wondered where those went off of the Wing Zero," Heero Yui noted.

"You going to argue with her?" Duo Maxwell asked impishly.

"No, I don't think so," Heero sighed.

"Do you think we're going to be the ones who have to fix that?' Maya Ibiki sighed softly, looking up at her boss.

Ritsuko shrugged, "Probably." The tall blonde leaned down to her dark haired companion, "Look on the bright side."

"What?" Maya squeaked nervously.

Ritsuko smiled impishly, "We can spend more time together alone."

"Sempai?" Maya blushed furiously.

Ritsuko's voice dropped to a sexy purr as she almost whispered in Maya's ear, "You're so cute when you blush, you know that?"

Maya's eyes grew wider, her face went an even darker red if that was possible, then she simply fell over in a dead faint.

"Poor thing," Ritsuko sighed. A mischievous smile appeared on her face, and she quickly put Maya over her shoulder.

"Where do you think you're going with her?" Misato asked, pushing her black hair back from her face irritably.

"I'm taking her home to give some TLC," Ritsuko beamed.

Misato shook her head, "Just don't tie the poor girl down to the bed again. I'm sure she's still carrying psychological scars from the last time you did that."

Ritsuko pouted, "Spoil sport."

Appearing this Episode: Utena, Anthy and Juri are from Revolutionary Girl Utena. Shinji, Asuka, Rei, Misato, Ritsuko and Maya are from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Ami, Haruka and Michiru from Sailor Moon. And finally Heero and Duo are from Gundam Wing.