Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Vulnerability ❯ All In Your Head ( Chapter 4 )

A/N: Juri and Saionji’s fight continues! This chapter isn’t as humorous as my normal ones, but it’s getting dark. I decided to darken this up to show people a serious side of their relationship. This is moving faster then The Other Side of the Picture!

Big thanks to Red Rose Touga for letting me use parts of The Darker Shades of Green in this fanfic.

Oneesan no Miroku Houshi- Get well soon! We love you!

Please RR!

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Vulnerability

Chapter 4: All in Your Head

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“Let go, damn it!” Saionji’s voice quaked as the tug of war between the two commenced.

“This is childish.” Juri replied.

“Yes, it is…”

“Give it up!” The curly haired swordfighter replied as she pulled back on the book, leaning her body in closer to Saionji. The green haired kendo captain reached his other hand up to assist the one tugging on the book, but it was soon cut off from it’s destination by the orange rose’s other hand, clasping his wrist.

“Huh?” Amethyst eyes widened. “Why are you so hell-bent on this?”

“I want to know what you’re hiding.”

“Why do you care?” The green haired man asked in a stressed voice.

“I don’t.” Juri replied.

Saionji’s hand began to slip. He let out an intake of breath as Juri smiled a sly smile. She jerked the book out of the green haired man’s hand. The kendoist fell forward on the table. The room was still, except for the spray of water on the floor.

The Vice President lay still on the table, body motionless, doll-like, cascades of green curls tumbled over the table’s edge and spiraled downward, like vines of a plant. Juri sat back, holding the book in one hand and Saionji’s wrist in the other.

She flipped open the book, when suddenly both her wrists were being held. Azure eyes widened. Saionji was on his knees in front of her, grasping her wrists; the man looked up at her, heliotrope eyes full of dismay, showing the instability and inner torture of his being, the color sloshing around in pools.

“Please…” A whisper of a beg emitted from his mouth. “Don’t read it…”

‘Is he…Begging me?’ Juri thought as she looked at the man’s pleading face.

She closed her eyes. “I already have.”

A small intake of breath was heard.

“I read it while you were out. You just left it lying on the table for the world to see, and I was bored, so I read it. You shouldn’t have just left it laying arou-“She was cut off by the sounds of sniveling and choking.

It was Saionji.

‘Is he…crying?’ Juri thought. “Look…I…”

Her eyebrows formed into a look of concern. The orange haired girl sat the book at her side.

‘Why do I care so much about him now? I have enough information to threaten to ruin his name even further and get myself out of this predicament, but there’s got to be more to him then that. Just what is he hiding? What else is there? It may be beneficial to hear it from him, rather then read it from his book.’

She drew herself closer to Saionji. ‘What am I doing? I disdain him!’

The woman ran a hand through the silken green locks and held the ends of the silky substance.

“Don’t touch me.” The man mumbled in a small voice.

“Look, it’s no big deal. It was just a book…” Juri told him, her voice held a slight twinge of concern.

“I said don’t touch me!” He took a hand from his face and drew it back, as it went flying forward, about to make contact with Juri’s face in an authoritative slap, it was caught by a feminine arm, and a slap was delivered to him. His head turning sideways and his body shooting to the side. Green hair was flying and so were the tears he cried.

His dejected face lit up with surprise.

Someone had slapped him back.

“I’m no Anthy, you can’t slap me around like you do her.” She put her hands on either of his shoulders. “Stop being so weak!”

The green haired man sat there, looking decrepit, tears streaming down his face. He tried to muster up a glare, but couldn’t through the tears.

“I am weak.” He admitted in a whisper, and hung his head. “Now that you’ve read that book. You know as well. Aren’t you going to humiliate me? I know you want to take it away! Take it away until there’s nothing left. “

“I don’t need to humiliate you; you’re doing it on your own.” Juri told him simply. “Always overdramatic, eh? I only read the first couple of pages.”

“…” Was Saionji’s only reply.

“Just because that stuff happened to you when you were a child doesn’t mean you’re totally insignificant.”

“Huh!” Saionji snapped his head up and through the lingering tears in his eyes surprise showed. Had Juri just complimented him? Had she just told him he was worth something?

“Everyone has a weakness, though they don’t like to admit it…Even me…” The curly haired woman narrowed her eyes. Had she just told him that she was no different from him? Her eyes widened.

Why the hell am I being so nice to him? Look at him! He’s pathetic!...and yet…He reminds me some of myself…He’s been through hell and back, with hell winning. True, he’s what I disdain, but does that mean that I also disdain myself? Is all I truly disdain him for is being a man?...Or could it be that he is everything I fear of becoming…’

“Why aren’t you making fun of me?” He asked desperation and confusion illuminating his eyes. Then his eyes widened even more as slender hands ran down his arms. He looked up at her, the tears still brimming his eyes.

‘What’s she doing?’ The green haired man thought to himself as her head drew nearer to his face, her warm breath seeming to burn away the tears on his face. ‘Why isn’t she taking the opportunity to put my name to shame, as she usually would? She knows the things I keep hidden even if it’s only a couple of pages, so why?

Here I am, at the pit of my despair, looking more pathetic then I ever I know and she doesn’t even say anything to me!

Is she trying to…comfort me? I should smack the hell out of myself for ever suggesting such a ludicrous thing!.. Did she just admit she was weak?’ Saionji looked mystified by this.

“What’s that look for?” Juri asked. “Did you finally process what I said?”

“Did you?” A finger was put to his lips. He jolted at the contact.

The hand that was on his lips moved to his shoulder, then he could feel himself falling, green silken strands wisping at his face as he did so. He soon landed on the floor with a straight view of the ceiling.

The man turned his head to see the orange haired girl’s face twisted into a serious look. His lips parted to speak, but that small hole closed itself once more.

“I am weak as well.” Juri’s words went through his thoughts.

The two stared into each other’s eyes Saionji’s eyes were full of pain and sorrow. They sparkled in the dim lighting of the room, stubborn tears still brimming them, their mulish host refusing to let them fall.

The orange rose seemed transfixed on the violet eyes, which seemed to look at you from a far even when he wasn’t looking at you. Her azure eyes calm, peaceful and looking understanding.

‘Why do I not feel any animosity towards this woman? Why do I feel like…She understands me?’ He thought.

‘Why do I feel as if…We share the same pain…Actually, I’ve felt that way for a while…Actually, it’s been that way ever since I’ve known you. That constant pain you feel…I’ve made myself cold because of you. I didn’t want to be like you…You are my reason to not let myself fall…’

They lay there as one, the woman’s arm over the man’s chest, holding onto his shoulder. Her other hand still gripping his wrist, she gave it a tender compress, which made Saionji perplexed even more.

TBC

Preview for Chapter 5:

A long night ahead, thoughts racing through his head. Will Saionji finally be able to rest easy?

A/N: Well, that’s the end of one chapter, more to come in the next one. I hope this wasn’t OOC, I hope I didn’t do anything wrong. I really wanted to make Saionji IC and to those Saionji haters. Saionji is a HUMAN with FEELINGS, he DOES cry and he HAS cried before in the series when he stabbed Touga across the back and when he was fighting Utena, though there was one tear in his eye it still happened. He also cried in the manga when he lost Anthy to Utena.

So there…I wanted to know if it was IC for him to cry at that type of thing, having someone reveal his inner most feelings and making him vulnerable to someone he hates.

Please RR!