Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Malarkeys and Mayhem ❯ It Begins ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: eMu3 
Omi and Nagi are gifted with the Sims, and neither of them like the game very much. Their teams, on the other hand, get pathetically addicted to it.
Anime/Manga: Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 10.22.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 5.8K | Visits: 318 | Status: Completed
Omi and Nagi are gifted with the Sims, and neither of them like the game very much. Their teams, on the other hand, get pathetically addicted to it.
Anime/Manga: Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 10.22.2004 | Pages: 5 | Words: 5.8K | Visits: 318 | Status: Completed
“Oh gee…thanks Ken. That was, uh… that’s a great gift. Yup.” Omi stuttered. ‘What a piece of garbage. If he expects me to use this memory eating piece of-’
“Glad you like it.” Ken said with a proud smile, making Omi feel both awkward and guilty.
They were exchanging Christmas presents. Predictably, the other members of Weiss had gotten Omi computer paraphernalia. Whereas Aya and Yohji had done a decent job of blindly selecting something for him, Ken had fucked up. The largest, shiniest display had yielded the Sims.
Being the nice kid he was, Omi decided on the nicest, if not most annoying, thing to do. Install the game, get the gist of it, talk about it pretending to like it, then get rid of it stealthily.
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‘Plus points for being easy to install. Wonder how much memory that took.’ Omi wondered. He was now ready to build his first Sim. The options were pretty extensive, so he decided to make a little Weiss Sim house. They almost perfectly matched the real Weiss too (the only real complaint was that they were all the same height, but Omi didn’t mind too much. Dammit, the Sim Weiss were not going to be able to tease him about needing a step-stool to reach the plates in the cabinet!)
He set up a little house, moved them in and was starting to have fun. It gave him a sort of godly trip being able to manipulate the others, but he quickly got bored. Added to that it was rather difficult keeping the bars for four Sims in the green. After Aya passed out, Ken wet himself, Yohji attracted flies and Omi set the kitchen on fire, he turned the thing off. Out of habit he clicked ‘save game’.
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“What the hell are you doing?” Yohji asked, more curiosity than scorn in his voice. Ken was sitting the middle of what appeared to be the contents of the kitchen barrel.
“I was looking for a magazine I thought got thrown out. But look what I found.” He held up the Sims, looking puzzled.
“Could be worse Ken-Ken. Could’ve been in the original plastic wrapping.” Yohji said sympathetically.
“Well, that would have been less weird. Instead it was in a shoe box taped shut with masking tape, stuck inside three shopping bags and wrapped in a duct tape cocoon stuck in the bottom of the barrel.” Ken explained. “Omi must have lost it.”
“Come again?”
Ken shrugged. “Whenever I leave things lying around they end up in the barrel. I bet he had it in the shoe box and all that for safe keeping. I mean, he loves the game. You heard how he talked about it.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But?”
‘Omi’s the nicest kid in the world. He’s trying to spare your feelings for picking a shitty gift. Dumbass.’ Was all Yohji could think. However, Ken looked so sweetly confused he couldn’t bring himself to say it. “I…I dunno.”
“I’ll go give it back to Omi. Then I can ask him about it.” Ken decided.
“Wait, Ken!”
Ken took off for Omi’s room. Yohji made to follow him, realizing that Ken was making a very awkward situation for the chibi, when Aya stepped into the kitchen and noticed the trash. He fixed a glare on Yohji, by now the only person left in the kitchen and thus the perpetrator.
“Clean this up.” Aya all but growled.
‘Eep.’ Yohji’s brain went into panic mode. Aya didn’t seem to be having a very good day, and the grip he had on his sword was unnerving. Looked like the trash on the floor was going to be his excuse to wail on someone (little did Yohji know the reason Aya was upset was because someone had keyed his precious porche, and he was going to have to divert some money from his sister’s hospital bills to have his precious, precious car fixed. Aya didn’t really like looking like a bastard when it came to Aya-chan’s medical bills but dammit, no one messed with his car).
“But Aya…I mean I didn’t…Ken…Omi-” Yohji stuttered.
“Shi-ne!”
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“Ken? What’s going on downstairs?” Omi asked, concern thick in his voice. Ken had just entered his room, and the sounds coming in through the open door were unnerving. He could hear a lot of banging and thudding, and the occasional yelp of pain and whimpering.
“Hm? Oh, Yohji was in the kitchen talking to Aya when I left.” Ken explained.
“Talking?” Omi asked anxiously.
“AAAAAHH!! ARMS DON’T BEND THAT WAY!!!” Yohji’s wail of pain drifted into the room. Ken kicked the door shut, muffling the sounds.
“I found this in the trash.” Ken explained, handing the Sims to Omi. “Did you lose it? Because that’s what I thought, but Yohji didn’t seem to think so.”
“Oh…yeah. I must have lost it. In the trash.” Omi stated flatly. He half wanted Ken to get it, just so he could be done with the abysmal game, but judging by the vacant smile plastered on Ken’s face that wasn’t going to happen. Omi reluctantly shelved the game.
***********MEANWHILE**********
Schuldig scowled as he pushed his way through the sweaty mass of people packed into the mall. He was beginning to resent his mode of Christmas shopping. On the one hand it was more practical, buying Christmas presents after Christmas afforded him the opportunity to receive presents and then rank them. Example, Crawford had gotten him a tube of cheap hair gel and a snide remark about gravity defying clown hair. He would get some sort of expired meat. Farfarello had gotten him the break lines to Aya’s porche and Yohji’s seven (and possibly keyed the porche, as he couldn’t really see anyone else carving ‘fuck your God’ into the doors of Aya’s beloved car). He would have to do something nice for Farf this year. Practical point number two, after Christmas sales meant really cheap present buying.
He moved his way over to the electronics store, which was having some huge blowout. He randomly selected a cheap box of some sort (he wasn’t really sure if it contained a game, some kind of program or whatever the hell people put in their computers) and considered his shopping for Nagi done.
The mall had grown entirely too annoying. He made his way over to the supermarket and snuck to the dumpsters out back.
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“What would possess you to get me a bible?” Farfarello asked, dangerously offended from the look of it. Schu had a very proud smirk on his face.
“That’s only a small piece of the present.” He motioned to a sack. “This is every bible and hymnal from St. Mary’s. And…” He held up a can of gasoline and a pack of matches. A psychotic gleam appeared in Farfarello’s eye. “Merry Christmas.”
Crawford eyed the frozen lamb warily. He liked lamb. Why would Schu give him something he liked? There had to be something wrong with it. An edible gift meant poison. Still…he didn’t see death in the near future. And it didn’t smell rank (well, it was frozen, it didn‘t smell like anything). Still…more thought needed to go into this.
“Schuldig. You lazy piece of shit. Were you even trying? You could have read my mind and gotten a decent gift.” Nagi looked very offended.
“What? What did I get you anyway?” Schu asked curiously. Maybe he’d picked up a Barbie game by accident or something.
“The Sims? Do you know what a memory eating piece of shit this is? Not to mention you got an expansion pack. I can’t actually use the thing unless I throw down some of my money for the deluxe edition.”
“Who needs deluxe?” Schu asked defensively.
“That’s the only edition they sell.” Nagi snapped.
“Fine. How much?” Schuldig asked, reaching into his wallet. Not like it really mattered anyway. After he’d nicked the bibles he’d reached into the collection plate anyway. It was God’s money. He’d have to mention that to Farf later (and out of Nagi’s ear shot). Now the Sims would hurt God too.
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Now that Nagi had made Schuldig go back into the packed post-Christmas mall and gotten him the installable version of the Sims, coupled with the hot date expansion pack, he thought it only fair that he install it. He still had little interest in the game, and if it took up as much memory as he’d been warned it would in chat rooms, it was going straight to the recycle bins.
He idly flipped through the Sim heads in the create a Sim screen and decided to make Schwarz, just for the hell of it. It didn’t look quite right, making himself as an adult, the same size as the others, but then, there was no way in hell Schwarz Sims were going to tease him for being too short to reach anything (thank Christ he’d mastered his gift and didn’t need to use that damned step-stool in front of them). Plus, since he would be acting as God why not make him as tall as he damn well wanted to be? He briefly considered making the rest of them children just for kicks, but he couldn’t get a kid to look quite as messed up as Farf.
He moved in the Sim family and started adding things to the house. He played around with their interactions, and succeeded in immediately getting the Schu-Sim and the Crawford-Sim into a fight. Then he noticed that despite the fact they were insulting, teasing and slapping each other, they seemed to like it. It must have had something to do with the fact that he didn’t give them any nice points, choosing to make them both bastards.
He scrolled down the list of things to buy and came across a vibrating heart shaped bed. It must have come with the hot date expansion pack. He clicked on it and moved it into the house. Thanks to a chat room he’d been in, he’d picked up a cheat code that gave him infinite money.
He then ignored most of the Sims, trying to make the Nagi-Sim superior to all the rest of them in every way possible. He was actually having fun, but he would never admit that.
Then he scrolled over to see what the other Schwarz Sims were doing. Farfarello-Sim had set fire to the kitchen somehow, but the firemen had shown up so that was okay.
And the Crawford and Schuldig Sims were upstairs in the bedroom together. And they were getting into the heart shaped vibrating bed. And a censorship box had come up-good christ!
Now traumatized for life, Nagi quickly switched off the game, and curled into a fetal position in the corner.
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“So how was the game?” Crawford asked conversationally. He didn’t really care that much, but it gave him something to think about other than the possibly poisoned lamb in the freezer.
Nagi stared at his feet. Actually, he hadn’t made eye contact with either Crawford or Schuldig since he’d emerged from his room.
“It had damn well better be worth it. I spent way more money on you then I intended.” Schu complained. ‘Especially since I stole the other two presents…’ He didn’t say that aloud though. He really, really wanted Crawford to eat that lamb. Some tampering with his sense of smell would be needed. It didn’t smell too bad while it was frozen, but if he tried to cook the thing…
“It was…it was…Oh God!” Nagi ran into the bathroom and started throwing up.
Crawford quirked an eyebrow. “I take it he doesn’t like it.”
“Who knows? Maybe that’s a sign of enjoyment to teens now.” Schu said dismissively. “I heard some maniacal laughter coming from his room earlier, so he was enjoying it at some point.”
“Maniacal laughter? What was he doing with it?” Crawford asked, now curious.
Crawford and Schuldig walked over to his room, where Farfarello was sitting at the computer. “Sims hurt God.” He muttered.
Nagi walked into his room. He seemed ready to yell at them all to get out, when he saw Crawford and Schuldig standing next to each other, and the Sims on his computer screen. He put a hand over his mouth and raced to the bathroom again.
Puzzled by his behavior, but not caring enough to find out what was wrong, Crawford and Schu leaned over Farf’s shoulder, and immediately got sucked into the addicting world that is the Sims.
“Is that supposed to be me?” Schuldig asked, staring at the Sim version of him. “Send it over to the wardrobe Farf. I would never wear that.”
“I don’t know. The jacket’s green and hideous enough.” Crawford pointed out.
“Oh fuck you.” Schu snapped.
“Don’t need to. Sims are taking care of it.” Farfarello said, amusement in his voice. Crawford and Schu paused in their glaring to look at the computer screen.
“The Sims can have sex?” Schuldig asked. “Wow.”
“Gay sex even.” Crawford added, just as stunned. Then he came to himself. “Wait mini-Brad! Not with him! You can do better!”
“With who? Farf? There are no other Sims in that neighborhood. Except that tall good looking one with the dark brown hair. Is that supposed to be Nagi?” Schuldig asked.
“Crawford-Sim wants to have a baby with you Schuldig.” Farf reported. “Sodomites hurt God.” He clicked on yes.
“Wait! Oh, I don’t want to have a baby with him.” Crawford groaned.
“Sodomites hurt God.” Farfarello repeated.
“And Sims hurt God. Therefore, sodomizing Sims must really hurt God.” Schuldig decided. Another evil gleam flashed in Farf’s eye.
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“Omi’s swamped with fan girls in the shop. Can you get a file off of his laptop for me?” Aya asked Ken, tossing him a disk.
“Sure. What one?”
“It should be saved under my name.” Aya answered. The flower shop was unusually crowded that day, and whereas Aya and Ken knew that it would be the decent thing to go help Omi and Yohji deal with the mob, it was also their day off. They were both coming up with excuses not to go anywhere near the place lest Omi’s puppy dog eyes trick them into doing the right thing.
Ken sat down at Omi’s laptop and quickly saved Aya’s file onto disk. He was about to leave when he noticed the Sims icon. Curiosity getting the better of him, he opened the game and took a look at it. There was only one saved game. He opened it and then noticed the little Weiss house.
‘Wow, this is pretty nifty.’ He took a minute to master the controls, and while he was doing this the Sims interacted. Yohji-sim was ordering a pizza (judging by the piles of ash in the kitchen and the lack of a stove there had been a fire), Aya-sim was cleaning up a puddle of something that the Ken-Sim had spilled. Omi-Sim was taking a bath and Ken-Sim was complaining about being stinky.
Ken went to the buy screen and built another bathroom out of the second bedroom. He moved two beds into the bigger bedroom, figuring they really needed two bathrooms more than two bedrooms with four Sims. Come to think of it, two bathrooms would have been nice for real life as well. He then ordered Ken-Sim to bathe, as he was still just complaining about being stinky and not really doing anything about it.
The other Sims were pretty smart though. Aya-Sim appeared to be a little neat-freak. After cleaning up the puddle, he cleaned up the ash in the kitchen and made all the beds. He then did the dishes from the pizza, which the Yohji-Sim just left there, and then cleaned both the bathrooms. Then he passed out.
“Are you done with that disk yet?” The real Aya asked,
walking into the room. Ken jumped. He’d gotten so absorbed into the game he hadn’t even noticed Aya entering.
“Oh yeah.” Ken handed off the disk, then turned back to the computer screen.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, that game I got for Omi. I’m just seeing what it’s like. He built a Sim-Weiss house. Look, that’s you.” Ken said, pointing to the little Aya.
“Why am I passed out in a bathroom?” Aya asked.
“Because you’re a neat freak. You used up all your energy cleaning up after the rest of us.”
“Is that you wetting yourself on the lawn?” Aya pointing to the corner of the screen.
“No mini-Ken! I don’t know why he’s so dumb. Everyone else is taking care of themselves okay.” Ken directed his Sim to bathe again.
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“That was the most miserable shift of my life.” Yohji snarled, collapsing into a kitchen chair. Omi staggered in, and dropped into one next to him. “Where the hell are Aya and Ken, and why the hell is there no supper?”
“Maybe something came up.” Omi said, not sounding quite as chipper as he usually managed. Without Aya’s death glare, the fan girls had been more persistent than usual. Turns out his, buy something or get out, actually did have an effect, however small. They just didn’t find Omi or Yohji intimidating in the least. It’s like they multiplied too. Every time you thought there was no way more preteen girls could fit in the store, they’d find a way. Even on his day off, if the store got that swamped, Omi would help out because it was the nice thing to do. Usually Aya extended that courtesy as well.
“I’m ordering a pizza.” Yohji announced, making no move from the chair.
“Well?”
“In a minute.” Yohji dropped his head onto the table and closed his eyes.
Omi walked upstairs, now curious as to why no one had come to help them. He looked into Aya and Ken’s rooms. He called downstairs to Yohji. “Are they down there? No one’s up here!”
“What? No, no one’s down here!” Yohji called back. He stumbled up the stairs. “Well this is weird. Maybe someone made a sneak attack while we were in the shop.”
“Yeah. Hey wait, I hear voices.”
They walked over to Omi’s room and stared, stunned. Aya and Ken were battling over the mouse, putting Omi’s computer in real danger as it balanced on the edge of the desk. Omi dove forward and caught it just as it fell, and Yohji did his best to make sure Aya and Ken didn’t kill each other, taking a few punches and elbows to the stomach in the process.
“What are you doing in my room? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY COMPUTER?!” Omi shrieked, hugging the laptop close to him.
Guiltily, Ken relinquished the mouse. Aya reluctantly stopped biting Ken’s arm and Yohji crawled out from between them, broken sunglasses dangling off his face.
“We were playing the Sims.” Ken explained.
“Ken was playing the Sims.” Aya argued. “I wanted a turn and he wouldn’t let me.”
“What?” Yohji asked in disbelief. “Lemme see that game.”
“No! You’re not coming near this computer!” Omi yelled, backing into a corner. He’d by now shut down the laptop.
“Oh c’mon. I gotta see it if it made Aya revert to the state of a five year old.” Yohji begged. He then ducked and narrowly avoided a blow to the head, as Aya didn’t seem too happy about being compared to a five year old.
“Okay. You guys can play, but I’m going to be using the mouse.” Omi said, in such an un-Omi like and menacing voice that they all agreed. Ken went in search of extra chairs.
Omi set up the laptop, plugged the mouse back in and opened the Sims game. He then stared in wonder at all the changes Aya and Ken had made in one afternoon.
“We went online and found a cheat code.” Ken explained. “It gave us as much money as we wanted.”
“What’s this little thing on the kitchen table?” Omi asked.
“Oh, that’s your Sims ashes.” Ken said cheerily. Omi’s face fell.
“Omi-Sim died?”
“No, we killed him.” Aya corrected.
“WHAT?!” Omi exclaimed.
“He didn’t look right. He was too tall. So we locked him in a death shack with fireplaces and we killed him. We’re going to get a new Omi-Sim in there though.” Ken added.
“How?” Yohji asked curiously. Omi was gaping at them silently.
Ken and Aya looked at each other nervously. Some sort of silent conversation was held, the result being Aya was appointed to explain. “We needed to couple off two of the remaining Sims, make them fall in love and have a baby. If the baby’s a boy, we’re going to name it Omi. In three Sim days it will turn into a child.”
“And then it will look more like Omi.” Ken finished.
Omi was now gaping, but a little less silent. “YOU KILLED ME SO YOU COULD REPLACE ME WITH A BABY?!?!”
“Wait a minute chibi, that’s not the important part.” Yohji cut him off. “Who did you couple up?”
“We decided to see which two had the best social interactions with the other.” Aya explained. He pried the mouse out of Omi’s hand (Omi had now gone rigid with anger) and brought up Yohji-Sim’s stat screens.
“See? Your sim is half the couple, because he gets along best with all of them, so we can turn it into a compatible love with minimal effort.” Ken said proudly.
“And who’s the other half?” Yohji asked with amusement. He really didn’t need to ask. Ken was smirking and Aya looked like he’d drank sour milk.
“Don’t get any ideas from this Kudoh. It’s just a game.” Aya growled.
“Sure honey.” Yohji said sweetly, putting an arm around Aya’s shoulders.
“Take it off or I’ll break it off.”
“Right-o. Just a game.”
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“Get out of my room!” Nagi shouted at the closed door (they’d gotten sick of his whining and the unusually thick door did a good job of muffling sound).
“For the billionth time no! But you can come back inside if you know how to keep social services from taking away our baby.” Crawford answered, opening the door a crack, poised to slam it closed.
“No.” Nagi answered bitterly.
“Well then we’ve confiscated this room for Schwarz business.” Crawford answered, shutting the door again.
“You’ve confiscated it to play a computer game you assholes!!” Nagi screamed. “I want my stuff back!”
There was some thudding, and about five minutes later four large trash bags were tossed out the door by Schuldig. “You can sleep on the couch until we’re done with the official business.”
“I WANT MY COMPUTER YOU BASTARDS!!”
“He’s getting really annoying.” Schu noted, resuming his post by the computer. “How’s Baby doing?”
“Not good. Computer says we’re neglecting her.” Farfarello reported. When they’d noticed you could name your own Sim babies, Crawford and Schuldig had gotten into a fight over what to name their daughter. Farfarello, getting bored, had typed in Baby when no one was looking, so that was Baby’s name.
“How can we be neglecting her? We’re neglecting ourselves, look.” Schu pulled up their stats. He and Crawford had been locked into a special ‘baby room’ they’d built, which had beds (not that they were receiving much use), a toilet, a sink, a shower, a fridge, a stove, a TV and the baby. They’d taken out the door, since within the first five minutes of crying Schuldig-Sim had tried to bolt. They’d also muted the computer since Baby never seemed to shut up and sleep. Both Crawford-Sim and Schu-Sim were very close to passing out in a stinking pile of flies and urine, if not dying.
“Okay, make Schuldig feed baby while I make us supper so we don’t starve.” Crawford ordered. Farf was at the mouse again, and he sent the orders along.
His Sim was the chief breadwinner, and currently working as a guinea pig (it was the science career track, and with Baby to take care of, they were too preoccupied to get Farfarello promoted). As Baby was not Farf’s responsibility (though Schuldig begged to differ as it had been Farfarello who had clicked yes when it asked if they wanted to have a baby) he was allowed to do things like eat and sleep.
The Nagi-Sim they mostly ignored as a reflection of their annoyance with the real Nagi whining about wanting his property back. He’d somehow gotten a job and advanced to a high paying position as some sort of military commando. Regardless, Farf was the chief breadwinner.
“Crawford you set the kitchen on fire!” Schuldig yelled accusingly.
“I didn’t get any cooking skills, did I?” Crawford belatedly realized. “Well what are you doing, get them out of there!”
“Can’t.” Farfarello answered. “No door. Can’t go to buy mode when there’s a fire.”
“Well, we have to do something or Baby’s going to die!” Schu pointed out.
“We’ll die too. Wait, adults can extinguish fires. Extinguish the fires!” He yelled at Farfarello.
“Can’t. Passed out.” Farf explained with amusement.
“Give me that.” Crawford wrenched the mouse out of Farf’s hand and clicked on the two Sims to wake up. He then set them to extinguishing the fire surrounding Baby, but it kept spreading.
“Forget Baby! We can always have another one. Save our asses Crawford!” Schuldig yelled.
“I’m working on it.” Crawford growled.
Then Sim Social Services arrived on the scene.
“What are they going to do? There’s no door.” Crawford muttered.
Then they appeared inside the room, despite the lack of doors.
“We’re saved!” Schuldig exclaimed.
Then the SSS grabbed Baby, explained that they were neglectful parents, and left again. They left behind no door, nor any solution to the fire.
German and English curses were thick in the room for a few minutes.
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“I don’t get it. Their bars are full green. They’re at a perfect hundred, and the Sims still won’t fall in love.” Ken complained.
“Maybe Sims can’t be gay.” Aya said hopefully.
“Or maybe it’s because every time we try to put in something that would take this past the level of friendship, Aya threatens to castrate me.” Yohji pointed out. “All you’ve let the Sims do is talk and joke. We’ll never get Omi back this way.”
“Fine. They’re going to hug.” Ken decided. He was controlling the mouse presently, so all Aya could do was stare menacingly at the back of his head.
“That didn’t do it.” Ken said, now annoyed.
“Well how do you tell when they’re in love?” Yohji asked.
“Red hearts appear and some lovey-music comes up.” Ken explained.
“Which Sims have you seen fall in love?” Aya asked curiously.
“Er…uh…” Ken stuttered. The first afternoon Aya and Ken had been playing, while Aya had made a food run the Ken-Sim and Omi-Sim had fallen in love. Ken felt a little awkward about it, so he decided to change the subject. With a slip of the mouse, Yohji-Sim attempted to kiss Aya-Sim, but the Aya-Sim pushed him away.
“What?” Yohji gaped at the computer screen, which now had his full interest. “We were at 100! He couldn’t like me more and he pushed me away?!”
There was a very smug smile on Aya’s face. “Even the simulated me has more taste than that.”
“Wait…that’s not right.” Ken pulled up their stats. “Omi didn’t give you any social points when he made the Sim. All of the other Sims like him more than he likes them. He’s still only at 70 for Yohji.”
“So…Omi made me a reclusive shut-in?” Aya asked.
“Yep.”
“Well…we’ve worked too much on this courtship to throw it away now.” Ken decided (in reality, he didn’t want to be part of the gay couple that fathered Omi). “I’m gonna run down to the store and pick up one of the expansion packs. If we get the hot-date pack in there, we can get them together by the end of the night.”
“Great, it’s my turn to man the controls.” Yohji said, scooting into the desk chair. The desk chair was centered in front of the computer, with a kitchen chair to the right and a stool they’d found in the basement to the left. Whoever had the desk chair was in charge, and they were on a rotation by hours, but everyone still got some say in the decisions.
“What other expansion packs are there?” Aya asked.
“I dunno really. I just saw an ad for the hot-date one in the box.” Ken answered.
“I’ll go with you and look around.” Aya decided. Ken and Aya both turned to Yohji, who was attempting to look innocent.
“If we get back and anything’s been drastically changed-”
“Don’t worry about it.” Yohji said dismissively, smiling at them. “What do you think I’d do, turn your Sims into my Sim’s pleasure slaves or something?”
There was a brief pause, and then Aya saved the game and ejected it from the computer. “We’ll be back.”
Aya and Ken were stopped by Omi once they reached the first floor. “Are you done using my computer yet?” Omi asked eagerly.
“No. We’re going out to get some expansion packs.” Ken explained.
“But, but that’ll eat up even more memory!” Omi objected.
“It’s okay. We thought of that.” Ken answered. He handed Omi a bag he’d been carrying. “We saved all your files to disk then deleted them so we’d have more room. Here.”
Omi looked down at the sack full of disks containing countless programs, school work, files for Kritiker and just general information they used on missions. He froze in shock, and by the time he recovered and could muster the anger to yell at Ken and Aya, who really should know better than to be sucked into a computer game like this, they were gone. He could hear the porche taking off down the street.
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“Well we almost died for them, but we have the expansion packs.” Ken proclaimed, holding up hot-date, gone wild and house party.
“Almost died for them?” Yohji asked.
“Someone cut the brake lines on my car.” Aya growled. Ken and Aya did look like they’d been through a miserable drive. There was a giant bruise on Ken’s forehead, assumed to be from hitting the windshield during whatever impact had stopped the car, and there were still a few pieces of broken glass stuck in Aya’s right arm (his mouse arm! Yohji thought gleefully).
“What happened to the porche?” Omi asked curiously, edging his way into his bedroom.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Aya snapped, taking up position in the desk chair.
“Hey, it’s my turn in the desk chair.” Yohji protested feebly. With the mood Aya was in, he normally wouldn’t have protested at all, but such was the draw of the Sims. Still, he more than gladly retreated to the stool when Aya growled at him.
A/N Heydo! Okay, there is much more to come on this story, but it might take awhile to all get here. I welcome reviews, especially constructive criticism, but blatant flattery will do nicely. Oh, and if my fics ever slip beyond a PG-13 rating, can someone tell me before I get into trouble? I will happily up my ratings if you think it applies. However, I’m really bad at spotting that sort of thing since I don’t write sex scenes. Can never tell what kind of dirty language constitutes an R, or what kind of violence. Thankee!
“Glad you like it.” Ken said with a proud smile, making Omi feel both awkward and guilty.
They were exchanging Christmas presents. Predictably, the other members of Weiss had gotten Omi computer paraphernalia. Whereas Aya and Yohji had done a decent job of blindly selecting something for him, Ken had fucked up. The largest, shiniest display had yielded the Sims.
Being the nice kid he was, Omi decided on the nicest, if not most annoying, thing to do. Install the game, get the gist of it, talk about it pretending to like it, then get rid of it stealthily.
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‘Plus points for being easy to install. Wonder how much memory that took.’ Omi wondered. He was now ready to build his first Sim. The options were pretty extensive, so he decided to make a little Weiss Sim house. They almost perfectly matched the real Weiss too (the only real complaint was that they were all the same height, but Omi didn’t mind too much. Dammit, the Sim Weiss were not going to be able to tease him about needing a step-stool to reach the plates in the cabinet!)
He set up a little house, moved them in and was starting to have fun. It gave him a sort of godly trip being able to manipulate the others, but he quickly got bored. Added to that it was rather difficult keeping the bars for four Sims in the green. After Aya passed out, Ken wet himself, Yohji attracted flies and Omi set the kitchen on fire, he turned the thing off. Out of habit he clicked ‘save game’.
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“What the hell are you doing?” Yohji asked, more curiosity than scorn in his voice. Ken was sitting the middle of what appeared to be the contents of the kitchen barrel.
“I was looking for a magazine I thought got thrown out. But look what I found.” He held up the Sims, looking puzzled.
“Could be worse Ken-Ken. Could’ve been in the original plastic wrapping.” Yohji said sympathetically.
“Well, that would have been less weird. Instead it was in a shoe box taped shut with masking tape, stuck inside three shopping bags and wrapped in a duct tape cocoon stuck in the bottom of the barrel.” Ken explained. “Omi must have lost it.”
“Come again?”
Ken shrugged. “Whenever I leave things lying around they end up in the barrel. I bet he had it in the shoe box and all that for safe keeping. I mean, he loves the game. You heard how he talked about it.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But?”
‘Omi’s the nicest kid in the world. He’s trying to spare your feelings for picking a shitty gift. Dumbass.’ Was all Yohji could think. However, Ken looked so sweetly confused he couldn’t bring himself to say it. “I…I dunno.”
“I’ll go give it back to Omi. Then I can ask him about it.” Ken decided.
“Wait, Ken!”
Ken took off for Omi’s room. Yohji made to follow him, realizing that Ken was making a very awkward situation for the chibi, when Aya stepped into the kitchen and noticed the trash. He fixed a glare on Yohji, by now the only person left in the kitchen and thus the perpetrator.
“Clean this up.” Aya all but growled.
‘Eep.’ Yohji’s brain went into panic mode. Aya didn’t seem to be having a very good day, and the grip he had on his sword was unnerving. Looked like the trash on the floor was going to be his excuse to wail on someone (little did Yohji know the reason Aya was upset was because someone had keyed his precious porche, and he was going to have to divert some money from his sister’s hospital bills to have his precious, precious car fixed. Aya didn’t really like looking like a bastard when it came to Aya-chan’s medical bills but dammit, no one messed with his car).
“But Aya…I mean I didn’t…Ken…Omi-” Yohji stuttered.
“Shi-ne!”
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“Ken? What’s going on downstairs?” Omi asked, concern thick in his voice. Ken had just entered his room, and the sounds coming in through the open door were unnerving. He could hear a lot of banging and thudding, and the occasional yelp of pain and whimpering.
“Hm? Oh, Yohji was in the kitchen talking to Aya when I left.” Ken explained.
“Talking?” Omi asked anxiously.
“AAAAAHH!! ARMS DON’T BEND THAT WAY!!!” Yohji’s wail of pain drifted into the room. Ken kicked the door shut, muffling the sounds.
“I found this in the trash.” Ken explained, handing the Sims to Omi. “Did you lose it? Because that’s what I thought, but Yohji didn’t seem to think so.”
“Oh…yeah. I must have lost it. In the trash.” Omi stated flatly. He half wanted Ken to get it, just so he could be done with the abysmal game, but judging by the vacant smile plastered on Ken’s face that wasn’t going to happen. Omi reluctantly shelved the game.
***********MEANWHILE**********
Schuldig scowled as he pushed his way through the sweaty mass of people packed into the mall. He was beginning to resent his mode of Christmas shopping. On the one hand it was more practical, buying Christmas presents after Christmas afforded him the opportunity to receive presents and then rank them. Example, Crawford had gotten him a tube of cheap hair gel and a snide remark about gravity defying clown hair. He would get some sort of expired meat. Farfarello had gotten him the break lines to Aya’s porche and Yohji’s seven (and possibly keyed the porche, as he couldn’t really see anyone else carving ‘fuck your God’ into the doors of Aya’s beloved car). He would have to do something nice for Farf this year. Practical point number two, after Christmas sales meant really cheap present buying.
He moved his way over to the electronics store, which was having some huge blowout. He randomly selected a cheap box of some sort (he wasn’t really sure if it contained a game, some kind of program or whatever the hell people put in their computers) and considered his shopping for Nagi done.
The mall had grown entirely too annoying. He made his way over to the supermarket and snuck to the dumpsters out back.
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“What would possess you to get me a bible?” Farfarello asked, dangerously offended from the look of it. Schu had a very proud smirk on his face.
“That’s only a small piece of the present.” He motioned to a sack. “This is every bible and hymnal from St. Mary’s. And…” He held up a can of gasoline and a pack of matches. A psychotic gleam appeared in Farfarello’s eye. “Merry Christmas.”
Crawford eyed the frozen lamb warily. He liked lamb. Why would Schu give him something he liked? There had to be something wrong with it. An edible gift meant poison. Still…he didn’t see death in the near future. And it didn’t smell rank (well, it was frozen, it didn‘t smell like anything). Still…more thought needed to go into this.
“Schuldig. You lazy piece of shit. Were you even trying? You could have read my mind and gotten a decent gift.” Nagi looked very offended.
“What? What did I get you anyway?” Schu asked curiously. Maybe he’d picked up a Barbie game by accident or something.
“The Sims? Do you know what a memory eating piece of shit this is? Not to mention you got an expansion pack. I can’t actually use the thing unless I throw down some of my money for the deluxe edition.”
“Who needs deluxe?” Schu asked defensively.
“That’s the only edition they sell.” Nagi snapped.
“Fine. How much?” Schuldig asked, reaching into his wallet. Not like it really mattered anyway. After he’d nicked the bibles he’d reached into the collection plate anyway. It was God’s money. He’d have to mention that to Farf later (and out of Nagi’s ear shot). Now the Sims would hurt God too.
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Now that Nagi had made Schuldig go back into the packed post-Christmas mall and gotten him the installable version of the Sims, coupled with the hot date expansion pack, he thought it only fair that he install it. He still had little interest in the game, and if it took up as much memory as he’d been warned it would in chat rooms, it was going straight to the recycle bins.
He idly flipped through the Sim heads in the create a Sim screen and decided to make Schwarz, just for the hell of it. It didn’t look quite right, making himself as an adult, the same size as the others, but then, there was no way in hell Schwarz Sims were going to tease him for being too short to reach anything (thank Christ he’d mastered his gift and didn’t need to use that damned step-stool in front of them). Plus, since he would be acting as God why not make him as tall as he damn well wanted to be? He briefly considered making the rest of them children just for kicks, but he couldn’t get a kid to look quite as messed up as Farf.
He moved in the Sim family and started adding things to the house. He played around with their interactions, and succeeded in immediately getting the Schu-Sim and the Crawford-Sim into a fight. Then he noticed that despite the fact they were insulting, teasing and slapping each other, they seemed to like it. It must have had something to do with the fact that he didn’t give them any nice points, choosing to make them both bastards.
He scrolled down the list of things to buy and came across a vibrating heart shaped bed. It must have come with the hot date expansion pack. He clicked on it and moved it into the house. Thanks to a chat room he’d been in, he’d picked up a cheat code that gave him infinite money.
He then ignored most of the Sims, trying to make the Nagi-Sim superior to all the rest of them in every way possible. He was actually having fun, but he would never admit that.
Then he scrolled over to see what the other Schwarz Sims were doing. Farfarello-Sim had set fire to the kitchen somehow, but the firemen had shown up so that was okay.
And the Crawford and Schuldig Sims were upstairs in the bedroom together. And they were getting into the heart shaped vibrating bed. And a censorship box had come up-good christ!
Now traumatized for life, Nagi quickly switched off the game, and curled into a fetal position in the corner.
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“So how was the game?” Crawford asked conversationally. He didn’t really care that much, but it gave him something to think about other than the possibly poisoned lamb in the freezer.
Nagi stared at his feet. Actually, he hadn’t made eye contact with either Crawford or Schuldig since he’d emerged from his room.
“It had damn well better be worth it. I spent way more money on you then I intended.” Schu complained. ‘Especially since I stole the other two presents…’ He didn’t say that aloud though. He really, really wanted Crawford to eat that lamb. Some tampering with his sense of smell would be needed. It didn’t smell too bad while it was frozen, but if he tried to cook the thing…
“It was…it was…Oh God!” Nagi ran into the bathroom and started throwing up.
Crawford quirked an eyebrow. “I take it he doesn’t like it.”
“Who knows? Maybe that’s a sign of enjoyment to teens now.” Schu said dismissively. “I heard some maniacal laughter coming from his room earlier, so he was enjoying it at some point.”
“Maniacal laughter? What was he doing with it?” Crawford asked, now curious.
Crawford and Schuldig walked over to his room, where Farfarello was sitting at the computer. “Sims hurt God.” He muttered.
Nagi walked into his room. He seemed ready to yell at them all to get out, when he saw Crawford and Schuldig standing next to each other, and the Sims on his computer screen. He put a hand over his mouth and raced to the bathroom again.
Puzzled by his behavior, but not caring enough to find out what was wrong, Crawford and Schu leaned over Farf’s shoulder, and immediately got sucked into the addicting world that is the Sims.
“Is that supposed to be me?” Schuldig asked, staring at the Sim version of him. “Send it over to the wardrobe Farf. I would never wear that.”
“I don’t know. The jacket’s green and hideous enough.” Crawford pointed out.
“Oh fuck you.” Schu snapped.
“Don’t need to. Sims are taking care of it.” Farfarello said, amusement in his voice. Crawford and Schu paused in their glaring to look at the computer screen.
“The Sims can have sex?” Schuldig asked. “Wow.”
“Gay sex even.” Crawford added, just as stunned. Then he came to himself. “Wait mini-Brad! Not with him! You can do better!”
“With who? Farf? There are no other Sims in that neighborhood. Except that tall good looking one with the dark brown hair. Is that supposed to be Nagi?” Schuldig asked.
“Crawford-Sim wants to have a baby with you Schuldig.” Farf reported. “Sodomites hurt God.” He clicked on yes.
“Wait! Oh, I don’t want to have a baby with him.” Crawford groaned.
“Sodomites hurt God.” Farfarello repeated.
“And Sims hurt God. Therefore, sodomizing Sims must really hurt God.” Schuldig decided. Another evil gleam flashed in Farf’s eye.
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“Omi’s swamped with fan girls in the shop. Can you get a file off of his laptop for me?” Aya asked Ken, tossing him a disk.
“Sure. What one?”
“It should be saved under my name.” Aya answered. The flower shop was unusually crowded that day, and whereas Aya and Ken knew that it would be the decent thing to go help Omi and Yohji deal with the mob, it was also their day off. They were both coming up with excuses not to go anywhere near the place lest Omi’s puppy dog eyes trick them into doing the right thing.
Ken sat down at Omi’s laptop and quickly saved Aya’s file onto disk. He was about to leave when he noticed the Sims icon. Curiosity getting the better of him, he opened the game and took a look at it. There was only one saved game. He opened it and then noticed the little Weiss house.
‘Wow, this is pretty nifty.’ He took a minute to master the controls, and while he was doing this the Sims interacted. Yohji-sim was ordering a pizza (judging by the piles of ash in the kitchen and the lack of a stove there had been a fire), Aya-sim was cleaning up a puddle of something that the Ken-Sim had spilled. Omi-Sim was taking a bath and Ken-Sim was complaining about being stinky.
Ken went to the buy screen and built another bathroom out of the second bedroom. He moved two beds into the bigger bedroom, figuring they really needed two bathrooms more than two bedrooms with four Sims. Come to think of it, two bathrooms would have been nice for real life as well. He then ordered Ken-Sim to bathe, as he was still just complaining about being stinky and not really doing anything about it.
The other Sims were pretty smart though. Aya-Sim appeared to be a little neat-freak. After cleaning up the puddle, he cleaned up the ash in the kitchen and made all the beds. He then did the dishes from the pizza, which the Yohji-Sim just left there, and then cleaned both the bathrooms. Then he passed out.
“Are you done with that disk yet?” The real Aya asked,
walking into the room. Ken jumped. He’d gotten so absorbed into the game he hadn’t even noticed Aya entering.
“Oh yeah.” Ken handed off the disk, then turned back to the computer screen.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, that game I got for Omi. I’m just seeing what it’s like. He built a Sim-Weiss house. Look, that’s you.” Ken said, pointing to the little Aya.
“Why am I passed out in a bathroom?” Aya asked.
“Because you’re a neat freak. You used up all your energy cleaning up after the rest of us.”
“Is that you wetting yourself on the lawn?” Aya pointing to the corner of the screen.
“No mini-Ken! I don’t know why he’s so dumb. Everyone else is taking care of themselves okay.” Ken directed his Sim to bathe again.
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“That was the most miserable shift of my life.” Yohji snarled, collapsing into a kitchen chair. Omi staggered in, and dropped into one next to him. “Where the hell are Aya and Ken, and why the hell is there no supper?”
“Maybe something came up.” Omi said, not sounding quite as chipper as he usually managed. Without Aya’s death glare, the fan girls had been more persistent than usual. Turns out his, buy something or get out, actually did have an effect, however small. They just didn’t find Omi or Yohji intimidating in the least. It’s like they multiplied too. Every time you thought there was no way more preteen girls could fit in the store, they’d find a way. Even on his day off, if the store got that swamped, Omi would help out because it was the nice thing to do. Usually Aya extended that courtesy as well.
“I’m ordering a pizza.” Yohji announced, making no move from the chair.
“Well?”
“In a minute.” Yohji dropped his head onto the table and closed his eyes.
Omi walked upstairs, now curious as to why no one had come to help them. He looked into Aya and Ken’s rooms. He called downstairs to Yohji. “Are they down there? No one’s up here!”
“What? No, no one’s down here!” Yohji called back. He stumbled up the stairs. “Well this is weird. Maybe someone made a sneak attack while we were in the shop.”
“Yeah. Hey wait, I hear voices.”
They walked over to Omi’s room and stared, stunned. Aya and Ken were battling over the mouse, putting Omi’s computer in real danger as it balanced on the edge of the desk. Omi dove forward and caught it just as it fell, and Yohji did his best to make sure Aya and Ken didn’t kill each other, taking a few punches and elbows to the stomach in the process.
“What are you doing in my room? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY COMPUTER?!” Omi shrieked, hugging the laptop close to him.
Guiltily, Ken relinquished the mouse. Aya reluctantly stopped biting Ken’s arm and Yohji crawled out from between them, broken sunglasses dangling off his face.
“We were playing the Sims.” Ken explained.
“Ken was playing the Sims.” Aya argued. “I wanted a turn and he wouldn’t let me.”
“What?” Yohji asked in disbelief. “Lemme see that game.”
“No! You’re not coming near this computer!” Omi yelled, backing into a corner. He’d by now shut down the laptop.
“Oh c’mon. I gotta see it if it made Aya revert to the state of a five year old.” Yohji begged. He then ducked and narrowly avoided a blow to the head, as Aya didn’t seem too happy about being compared to a five year old.
“Okay. You guys can play, but I’m going to be using the mouse.” Omi said, in such an un-Omi like and menacing voice that they all agreed. Ken went in search of extra chairs.
Omi set up the laptop, plugged the mouse back in and opened the Sims game. He then stared in wonder at all the changes Aya and Ken had made in one afternoon.
“We went online and found a cheat code.” Ken explained. “It gave us as much money as we wanted.”
“What’s this little thing on the kitchen table?” Omi asked.
“Oh, that’s your Sims ashes.” Ken said cheerily. Omi’s face fell.
“Omi-Sim died?”
“No, we killed him.” Aya corrected.
“WHAT?!” Omi exclaimed.
“He didn’t look right. He was too tall. So we locked him in a death shack with fireplaces and we killed him. We’re going to get a new Omi-Sim in there though.” Ken added.
“How?” Yohji asked curiously. Omi was gaping at them silently.
Ken and Aya looked at each other nervously. Some sort of silent conversation was held, the result being Aya was appointed to explain. “We needed to couple off two of the remaining Sims, make them fall in love and have a baby. If the baby’s a boy, we’re going to name it Omi. In three Sim days it will turn into a child.”
“And then it will look more like Omi.” Ken finished.
Omi was now gaping, but a little less silent. “YOU KILLED ME SO YOU COULD REPLACE ME WITH A BABY?!?!”
“Wait a minute chibi, that’s not the important part.” Yohji cut him off. “Who did you couple up?”
“We decided to see which two had the best social interactions with the other.” Aya explained. He pried the mouse out of Omi’s hand (Omi had now gone rigid with anger) and brought up Yohji-Sim’s stat screens.
“See? Your sim is half the couple, because he gets along best with all of them, so we can turn it into a compatible love with minimal effort.” Ken said proudly.
“And who’s the other half?” Yohji asked with amusement. He really didn’t need to ask. Ken was smirking and Aya looked like he’d drank sour milk.
“Don’t get any ideas from this Kudoh. It’s just a game.” Aya growled.
“Sure honey.” Yohji said sweetly, putting an arm around Aya’s shoulders.
“Take it off or I’ll break it off.”
“Right-o. Just a game.”
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“Get out of my room!” Nagi shouted at the closed door (they’d gotten sick of his whining and the unusually thick door did a good job of muffling sound).
“For the billionth time no! But you can come back inside if you know how to keep social services from taking away our baby.” Crawford answered, opening the door a crack, poised to slam it closed.
“No.” Nagi answered bitterly.
“Well then we’ve confiscated this room for Schwarz business.” Crawford answered, shutting the door again.
“You’ve confiscated it to play a computer game you assholes!!” Nagi screamed. “I want my stuff back!”
There was some thudding, and about five minutes later four large trash bags were tossed out the door by Schuldig. “You can sleep on the couch until we’re done with the official business.”
“I WANT MY COMPUTER YOU BASTARDS!!”
“He’s getting really annoying.” Schu noted, resuming his post by the computer. “How’s Baby doing?”
“Not good. Computer says we’re neglecting her.” Farfarello reported. When they’d noticed you could name your own Sim babies, Crawford and Schuldig had gotten into a fight over what to name their daughter. Farfarello, getting bored, had typed in Baby when no one was looking, so that was Baby’s name.
“How can we be neglecting her? We’re neglecting ourselves, look.” Schu pulled up their stats. He and Crawford had been locked into a special ‘baby room’ they’d built, which had beds (not that they were receiving much use), a toilet, a sink, a shower, a fridge, a stove, a TV and the baby. They’d taken out the door, since within the first five minutes of crying Schuldig-Sim had tried to bolt. They’d also muted the computer since Baby never seemed to shut up and sleep. Both Crawford-Sim and Schu-Sim were very close to passing out in a stinking pile of flies and urine, if not dying.
“Okay, make Schuldig feed baby while I make us supper so we don’t starve.” Crawford ordered. Farf was at the mouse again, and he sent the orders along.
His Sim was the chief breadwinner, and currently working as a guinea pig (it was the science career track, and with Baby to take care of, they were too preoccupied to get Farfarello promoted). As Baby was not Farf’s responsibility (though Schuldig begged to differ as it had been Farfarello who had clicked yes when it asked if they wanted to have a baby) he was allowed to do things like eat and sleep.
The Nagi-Sim they mostly ignored as a reflection of their annoyance with the real Nagi whining about wanting his property back. He’d somehow gotten a job and advanced to a high paying position as some sort of military commando. Regardless, Farf was the chief breadwinner.
“Crawford you set the kitchen on fire!” Schuldig yelled accusingly.
“I didn’t get any cooking skills, did I?” Crawford belatedly realized. “Well what are you doing, get them out of there!”
“Can’t.” Farfarello answered. “No door. Can’t go to buy mode when there’s a fire.”
“Well, we have to do something or Baby’s going to die!” Schu pointed out.
“We’ll die too. Wait, adults can extinguish fires. Extinguish the fires!” He yelled at Farfarello.
“Can’t. Passed out.” Farf explained with amusement.
“Give me that.” Crawford wrenched the mouse out of Farf’s hand and clicked on the two Sims to wake up. He then set them to extinguishing the fire surrounding Baby, but it kept spreading.
“Forget Baby! We can always have another one. Save our asses Crawford!” Schuldig yelled.
“I’m working on it.” Crawford growled.
Then Sim Social Services arrived on the scene.
“What are they going to do? There’s no door.” Crawford muttered.
Then they appeared inside the room, despite the lack of doors.
“We’re saved!” Schuldig exclaimed.
Then the SSS grabbed Baby, explained that they were neglectful parents, and left again. They left behind no door, nor any solution to the fire.
German and English curses were thick in the room for a few minutes.
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“I don’t get it. Their bars are full green. They’re at a perfect hundred, and the Sims still won’t fall in love.” Ken complained.
“Maybe Sims can’t be gay.” Aya said hopefully.
“Or maybe it’s because every time we try to put in something that would take this past the level of friendship, Aya threatens to castrate me.” Yohji pointed out. “All you’ve let the Sims do is talk and joke. We’ll never get Omi back this way.”
“Fine. They’re going to hug.” Ken decided. He was controlling the mouse presently, so all Aya could do was stare menacingly at the back of his head.
“That didn’t do it.” Ken said, now annoyed.
“Well how do you tell when they’re in love?” Yohji asked.
“Red hearts appear and some lovey-music comes up.” Ken explained.
“Which Sims have you seen fall in love?” Aya asked curiously.
“Er…uh…” Ken stuttered. The first afternoon Aya and Ken had been playing, while Aya had made a food run the Ken-Sim and Omi-Sim had fallen in love. Ken felt a little awkward about it, so he decided to change the subject. With a slip of the mouse, Yohji-Sim attempted to kiss Aya-Sim, but the Aya-Sim pushed him away.
“What?” Yohji gaped at the computer screen, which now had his full interest. “We were at 100! He couldn’t like me more and he pushed me away?!”
There was a very smug smile on Aya’s face. “Even the simulated me has more taste than that.”
“Wait…that’s not right.” Ken pulled up their stats. “Omi didn’t give you any social points when he made the Sim. All of the other Sims like him more than he likes them. He’s still only at 70 for Yohji.”
“So…Omi made me a reclusive shut-in?” Aya asked.
“Yep.”
“Well…we’ve worked too much on this courtship to throw it away now.” Ken decided (in reality, he didn’t want to be part of the gay couple that fathered Omi). “I’m gonna run down to the store and pick up one of the expansion packs. If we get the hot-date pack in there, we can get them together by the end of the night.”
“Great, it’s my turn to man the controls.” Yohji said, scooting into the desk chair. The desk chair was centered in front of the computer, with a kitchen chair to the right and a stool they’d found in the basement to the left. Whoever had the desk chair was in charge, and they were on a rotation by hours, but everyone still got some say in the decisions.
“What other expansion packs are there?” Aya asked.
“I dunno really. I just saw an ad for the hot-date one in the box.” Ken answered.
“I’ll go with you and look around.” Aya decided. Ken and Aya both turned to Yohji, who was attempting to look innocent.
“If we get back and anything’s been drastically changed-”
“Don’t worry about it.” Yohji said dismissively, smiling at them. “What do you think I’d do, turn your Sims into my Sim’s pleasure slaves or something?”
There was a brief pause, and then Aya saved the game and ejected it from the computer. “We’ll be back.”
Aya and Ken were stopped by Omi once they reached the first floor. “Are you done using my computer yet?” Omi asked eagerly.
“No. We’re going out to get some expansion packs.” Ken explained.
“But, but that’ll eat up even more memory!” Omi objected.
“It’s okay. We thought of that.” Ken answered. He handed Omi a bag he’d been carrying. “We saved all your files to disk then deleted them so we’d have more room. Here.”
Omi looked down at the sack full of disks containing countless programs, school work, files for Kritiker and just general information they used on missions. He froze in shock, and by the time he recovered and could muster the anger to yell at Ken and Aya, who really should know better than to be sucked into a computer game like this, they were gone. He could hear the porche taking off down the street.
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“Well we almost died for them, but we have the expansion packs.” Ken proclaimed, holding up hot-date, gone wild and house party.
“Almost died for them?” Yohji asked.
“Someone cut the brake lines on my car.” Aya growled. Ken and Aya did look like they’d been through a miserable drive. There was a giant bruise on Ken’s forehead, assumed to be from hitting the windshield during whatever impact had stopped the car, and there were still a few pieces of broken glass stuck in Aya’s right arm (his mouse arm! Yohji thought gleefully).
“What happened to the porche?” Omi asked curiously, edging his way into his bedroom.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Aya snapped, taking up position in the desk chair.
“Hey, it’s my turn in the desk chair.” Yohji protested feebly. With the mood Aya was in, he normally wouldn’t have protested at all, but such was the draw of the Sims. Still, he more than gladly retreated to the stool when Aya growled at him.
A/N Heydo! Okay, there is much more to come on this story, but it might take awhile to all get here. I welcome reviews, especially constructive criticism, but blatant flattery will do nicely. Oh, and if my fics ever slip beyond a PG-13 rating, can someone tell me before I get into trouble? I will happily up my ratings if you think it applies. However, I’m really bad at spotting that sort of thing since I don’t write sex scenes. Can never tell what kind of dirty language constitutes an R, or what kind of violence. Thankee!