Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ my silent scream ❯ One-Shot

dear ken

how are you, koi?

how are you.

it sounds very normal, doesn't it?

it's been forever since i wrote a letter. to anyone.

i guess it's great you're the person to receive it.

i'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner.

i'm getting ahead of myself, ne?

we'll start at the beginning.

i tried using matches once, koi, but it didn't work. the flame on matches doesn't last long enough.

so i used a lighter.

you know, when you use a lighter and you put it to your flesh,

it blackens and twists and scars?

it feels

it

it's kind of like cutting yourself, you know?

i mean, the pain is there

but it isn't there.

at least, i don't think it's there. so it isn't.

so you see all that blood trailing down your arm

dripping. it's like killing someone, only it isn't,

really.

because you aren't killing someone else, you're just

killing yourself. 'ne, koi?

i love you, you know that?

of course you do.

but sometimes i wonder if you DO know. i mean,

you look at me and you smile sometimes, but it always feels like you're just

smiling through me.

have you ever had that feeling?

i guess i'm just being stupid, though. i thought the mirror was talking to me once, too.

but i haven't thought of cutting myself in a long long while.

you were glad, weren't you?

glad that i was getting better.

i was glad too.

after a while, though. it started to get to me.

the screaming.

i never told you about that, did i? i

didn't want you to worry.

i'm sorry.

but really, it wasn't a scream.

it was a quiet one. in my head.

i guess you knew i was insane, huh? i thought it was funny.

just the scream.

on and on and on and on

in my head

it used to be that, whenever you were around, the scream would stop.

but after a while, that didn't

work anymore.

it didn't even say anything, you know? it was just

a scream.

i can hear it right now. i know you're coming home, soon.

i left a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the breadbox for you.

i know you like those.

i thought it'd make you feel better.

i don't know if it will.

say you'll take the screaming away?

please?

but you aren't even here, koi.

i know

that isn't your fault.

koi?

It only took four point seven five two seconds for Hidaka Ken to put the letter back down on the kitchen table and run to the bedroom.

"Aya...?!"

And then he wished he never had.

.. swinging... slowly...