Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Symphonys of Roses and Pain ❯ Broken ( Chapter 4 )

Broken

 

 

Fire.

 

There was fire everywhere he looked.

 

Black flames like the fires of Hell…

 

Gasping as that thought shot through his head, he huddled up against what was in his arms; ducking his head so that he couldn't see the flames anymore.

 

Something that was warm and…

 

Alive…

 

Opening his violet eyes, he looked down and was met with deep soulful green eyes.

 

`Trowa…'

 

“Hisoka…” It was a loving whisper that came from his mouth, but in a voice not his own. “You still have time to leave.” Even as he said it, he knew that he didn't want the other male to leave.

 

There was a defiant look in those green eyes that made him think so much of Quatre. But those eyes, they constantly reminded him of Trowa. It was almost like they were one person, holding the qualities of both that he loved. `Who are you?'

 

It was his voice this time, but it wasn't heard.

 

There was a violent shove, and suddenly, he was standing away from the two, watching in his own body as they embraced. He could see more of the background now. A building going up in those black flames; the color of his heart and soul. “I told you!” the Trowa/Quatre mix said, pressing his elven face against the other's shoulder. “I am not leaving without you!”

 

There was a moment of sick recognition when he saw the face of the other man. The face in the mirror. A flash of clarity passed over him. The imposter, no, the monster was here, showing him what he could never have yet again.

 

`Where am I?!' He tried to scream, turning around and looking for a way out of the inferno. He saw nothing but that eerie fire and the two embracing and whispering to each other. The two made something as hot as the fire coil in his stomach. He had never felt anything like it before, but he knew what it was. Jealousy.

 

A loud screeching caught his attention and he jerked his head up in time to see a large, serpent coming out of the thick smoke. When the great body passed the inferno, the flames seemed to grow higher as if trying to reach out to the beast. It was beautiful in a dangerous kind of way, like Deathscythe had been. But his gundam had never been as dangerous as this serpent.

 

It was then, when the beast landed not two feet away from him, that he realized he was just a spectator in this. Spectators could do nothing but watch, could do nothing to stop or change it. They were helpless, he hated feeling helpless.

 

In the distance, a sound picked up like two people arguing. Turning around, he looked through the mass of flames to see who was arguing, wondering if they were spectators to. As he looked, he kept his ears open to the argument. He could dimly make out what they were saying, something about saving someone. As he listened, he realized that he knew one of the voices.

 

He couldn't remember where he'd heard that voice before. And it was on the tip of his memory, like trying to capture a butterfly while hanging off of a cliff. He'd never personally done that before, he realized, completely getting distracted for a second. He kept trying to look through the black flame, not feeling the heat that must have been scorching. The snake had laid on the ground, not far from where the monster and the boy named Hisoka were cuddled together, not bothered at all by the heat.

 

A loud crash of a beam falling to the ground gave him clear view for a moment, allowing him to see the exit before it was swallowed up in the black flames once again. It was a brief moment of color in black.

 

There was no way he could mistake that mess of blonde hair and the wild way the man was moving his arms in wide circles.

 

`Watari…' He gasped his mouth not moving.

 

Stepping back, he didn't notice the fire rise up higher as if fed by his sense of betrayal and hurt. Whipping back around, his braid arching like a whip, he glared angrily at the two. The fames got higher and higher, fed by the explosion of machinery and wood.

 

`Let me out of here!' He screamed, flapping his mouth uselessly.

 

`I hate you! Let me out of here!' He continued screaming at the two even as they were devoured by the black flames. He didn't care that they were burned to nothing but dust. He ignored the way a flash of pain raced through him as he thought of the boy, Hisoka.

 

Putting his whole being into his hate for that man who showed him how ugly he was, he didn't notice when the bird beside him evaporated into the hell's fury, leaving him all alone with the burning building and the ashes of his hatred.

 

He didn't even realize that he'd stopped forming whole thoughts, and was just fueling his rage by that face alone. Just one long, incoherent scream that meant nothing to anyone but him.

 

But his hate evaporated like snow in Egypt. He could still fell it, the poison undertow running through his veins. Yet it wasn't accessible, something he knew was there, but couldn't use, yet.

 

The black flame and burning building were gone, replaced with a scene he was familiar with. His own little room in the hospital; he would recognize those white wash walls and crappy little furniture anywhere.

 

Yet he wasn't completely there.

 

He was floating, again being something he hated to be; a Spectator. This time in a place he was familiar with. And given a glimpse of the form on the bed through the mass of doctors and nurses, he found his own body there. It was eerie to see, so he turned away and looked at the rest of the room.

 

His comrades where in the room, Heero, as impassive as ever, Wufei with his white skin worry. But it was Quatre and Trowa that made him stop. They were embracing, holding onto each other tightly. It made him flash back to what he'd just been feeling, white hot anger. He hated that man, everything about him.

 

Below him, the Arab chocked back a sob and started shivering violently. He heard it, and he knew it was his fault. It took a moment, but closing his eyes, he took deep breaths and attempted to calm down enough so he could take a hold of his emotions again.

 

Focusing on his breathing helped, and soon he wasn't troubled by any emotions at all. He floated closer to the two just as Quatre started talking. The blonde's voice was shaking and he stopped in between words to keep from crying. “He…Duo…He's so…angry… at himself…”

 

There was something inside him that broke at those words, making him blink owlishly at the blonde for a moment. Mad at himself? It confused him that the Arabian would say that. He wasn't mad at himself any more than he blamed Relena for starting the wars that he and the others had fought in.

 

There was another in the room, not the doctors or the people he considered family. But someone he knew. And he didn't know how to feel about it.

 

`Watari…'

 

Turning his blank stare on the messy haired one, he didn't stop to consider why Watari was the only one looking at him, and not at the doctors. `I hate you…' He said in the same mysterious way he'd been screaming at the two in the burning building. `I don't ever want to see you again.' He meant every word of it, but he didn't know why his anger was directed at the nurse.

 

Turning his back on the strange nurse so he wouldn't see that hurt look, he instead turned his eyes on the doctors and nurses who were treating his body. It seemed so strange to him now that he thought about it. Being up here watching, and then his body being down there.

 

Positioning himself so he was over his body, he looked down at his face. `This makes it all the weirder…' He acknowledged looking over his peaceful face. It held none of the emotions he had felt a moment ago when he'd been watching those two in the fire.

 

`Hisoka…Tsuzuki”

 

He didn't know who Tsuzuki was. Concentrating on that one name, he was shocked to find that the monster's face came to him. Opening his eyes that he hadn't known he'd closed, he blinked as he realized that he was looking up instead of down.

 

His whole body was twitching and shuddering like he had no control over it. Gasping for breath, he closed his eyes tightly as he tried to take command of his muscles.

 

There was a touch on his shoulder that made him jerk back and lash out. But as soon as he tried to move his hand, he found that it was tied to the bed.

 

“We're sorry.” Came the voice of a doctor who didn't sound to particularly apologetic. “We had to restrain you to get to your wounds. You were hurting yourself.”

 

He didn't bat an eyelash at that. There was just to much on his mind to worry about what he'd done.

 

Closing his violet eyes again, he let out a soft sigh and relaxed. He had no more energy to deal with anything right now. He wanted to go to sleep, to be away from this place.

 

But he was afraid of going back to that place, to watch Tsuzuki and Hisoka to be together.

 

There was the feeling of a knife twisting in his gut, but he ignored that as well, to emotionally as well as physically drained.

 

Vaguely, he heard the voices of the doctors talking to his comrades. They were still in the room, probably thinking that he was asleep.

 

`Like I could go to sleep after that.' He snorted to himself before listening in on the conversation.

 

“There is nothing physically wrong with him.” Came the hesitant voice of the main doctor.

 

He decided that this man was on the top of his shit list.

 

“You mean…” It was Wufei, his voice as strong as ever. However, it panged him to hear that there was a guarded sound, like he was holding back emotion. “He isn't insane or other wise.” He finished, most likely crossing his arms over his chest angrily.

 

There was a warm feeling spreading through his body, starting with his arm where the I.V was.

 

Opening his blank eyes, he watched as Sheryl pulled the needle out of the slot on his I.V and gave him a weak smile. He could see the fear in her eyes, the fear of him.

 

It made him feel a pang of sadness in his heart.

 

Closing his eyes in a neutral expression to her, he continued breathing slowly. There was no point in making her feel worse about something that she'd been ordered to do.

 

“The sedatives are in.” Sheryl said solemnly, bowing her head in shame before leaving.

 

There was an uproar of language abuse from his comrades, all demanding to know why they hadn't been told about this.

 

There was an answering reply from the doctor, but he was already to gone to hear it. He was to busy feeling like he was floating on water. “Lets just hope that those sedatives keep the dreams away.” He managed to chirp before he was out like a light.

 

`Yes…' He sighed to himself, `Let us hope that those damned drugs keep away big bad Muraki and burning buildings…'