Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Idiot's Anonymous ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Title: Idiots Anonymous

Author: Elf Asato

Pairings: Still just Tatsumi/Watari ^_~

Warnings: Suzaku and Byakko terrorizing the passengers on the plane, OOC, general insanity, shounen-ai

Disclaimer: All these cute Yami characters are Matsushita-sensei's, not mine. I'm just borrowing them for…ah…entertainment uses…yeah…. (whose entertainment?)

Notes: (Illinois: [flaps arms] I'm heard of! I'm heard of!) ^^;

Summary: Suzaku and Byakko have fun on the plane as Tsuzuki flies to America to track down his partner! (Tsuzuki: Hisoka come home!!!!!!!)

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Idiots Anonymous

By Elf Asato

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Two days had passed since Tsuzuki received the letter from Hisoka and quite frankly, he couldn't take it anymore! "Tatsumiiiiiii!" the inu whined as he burst into the secretary's office. "You said you'd do something!!!!!!"

"Eh?" Tatsumi asked, a bit confused about the interruption as he looked up from his papers. Apparently he had been trying to ignore Watari, who was sitting on his desk.

"Do what, Tsuzuki?" Watari asked, just as confused as Tatsumi, but a bit more oblivious.

Tsuzuki, though, was the King of Obliviousness. "He said he'd help me get back Hisoka-chan in secret since he's not really authorized for that sort of thing and would probably get in trouble if anyone found out…" the inu rambled on as he flapped his arms for emphasis.

Tatsumi paled and tried to deny the whole thing, but Watari knew better.

"Sooo," the blond said, teasing lightly, "my Tatsumi's gone and - "

"Shh!" Tatsumi hissed as he laid an expert finger on Watari's lips to silence him. "Not so loud! …Okay, okay, okay…Tsuzuki, come here." Like a good inu, Tsuzuki obeyed and his friend went on in a sigh, "I had to pay for this out of my own pocket so it wouldn't show up at work… This is a plane ticket - Tsuzuki, do you know what a plane is? - to Illinois. The flight leaves tomorrow and you'll have a total of two days off work to find him…and hopefully bring him back. You won't take a flight back to Japan once those two days are over - you'll just come straight here, understand?"

Tsuzuki nodded once…twice…and three times before saying, "Yep! …But…why do I have to fly to Illinois?"

"According to Byakko, Hisoka's on assignment there," Tatsumi explained as he dug around in his desk drawer, brought out a slip of paper, and gave it to Tsuzuki. "This is the hotel he and his partner are staying at. Once you get to Illinois, you'll have to ask around."

"This is so complicated!" inu Tsuzuki almost cried.

Tatsumi sighed and massaged his temples, "…And we're probably breaking at least a dozen rules…"

"My Tatsumi's such a rebel," Watari giggled, but then asked seriously, "…But why can't Tsuzuki just teleport to Illinois if he's teleporting back here from there…?"

The secretary gave Watari that look. "You seriously trust Tsuzuki to teleport safely to a place he's never been before?"

Watari just laughed, "You're right - he'd probably end up stuck inside a wall or something!"

"Hidoiiiiiiii!!!!!" the inu cried, his eyes becoming watery, as he ran out the office. "You're all so mean!!!!!"

*~@~*

The very next day, Tsuzuki found himself on the plane to Illinois. "Waaaah, I'm scared, Suzaku!!" he cried out as he hugged his fiery phoenix in human form to comfort himself. "There are all these people I don't know and they're all staring at me!"

Suzaku smiled in that motherly way and stroked Tsuzuki's head, sitting next to him in an empty seat by the window. Tsuzuki was too upset from the takeoff to want to sit there. "Dear Tsuzuki, that's probably because you're crying to and hugging someone these humans can't hear or see."

"But…but…why don't you let them see you so they'll stop staring at me like that!"

Like the bird she was, Suzaku chirped cheerfully and explained, "Because then I'd have to buy a ticket!"

Tsuzuki turned away from her and curled up into a little ball on the itchy plane seat, resting his head uncomfortably on its arm. Tatsumi was too cheap to send him first-class, no matter how much he begged. "Money. That's all that matters to you people!!"

"Yep!" Suzaku chirped again as a flight attendant came down the aisle and smacked the back of Tsuzuki's head with the refreshment cart.

Secretly, Tsuzuki just knew it was because Watari was keeping such a close eye on Tatsumi that he didn't have to ride with the cargo… He'd have to thank him later… Growing bored, he decided to pester Suzaku again. "Suzaku," he complained, "I'm bored!"

"Hello, Bored!" she said happily, giving him a corny smile.

"This plane is boring. Why did Tatsumi send me on such a boring trip?"

Suzaku patted his head and smiled. "To get back your beloved partner, of course!"

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki exclaimed, once again regaining the light in his eyes that had dulled out of boredom. "I'll be bored just this once for him!" Immediately, he sat in his seat quietly and barely moved.

At first Suzaku nodded in agreement, but then she began to think of all the past times when Tsuzuki had been bored… "Oh no you don't!" she said to him in that authoritarian voice. "We've got to keep you entertained!"

"But…but…but I need to be bored for Hisoka! Although he wants to bore me, he never really does, so I should be as bored as I can without him so that when I see him again, I'll be soooo attentive to him that he'll have to come home with me!" Tsuzuki actually pleaded, gaining the odd looks from the passengers around him.

If Suzaku saw any flaw in this romantic logic, she showed no sign of it. Instead, she crossed her arms and said, "Hmph! Well I'm bored!"

Tsuzuki smiled and patted her arm, thoroughly unaware that nearly every single passenger was watching him, aside from the man who had actually managed to sleep. "Well you can entertain yourself. I'll wait for Hisoka, thank you very much." With that, he sat still in his seat with a happy, dazed smile on his face. Who knew what that little Shinigami was thinking…

As a Shikigami and one of the four celestial gods, Suzaku was able to do many things and one of which enabled her to call any of the other three whenever she wanted solely in her mind.

Within a few seconds, a Byakko in human form popped into Suzaku's lap and greeted her with an enthusiastic hug. "Suzaaaaaaaaku!! My pretty fire maiden!" His attention then turned to his Shinigami master. "Heeeeey…what's with Tsuzuki? He's just sitting there!"

Tsuzuki showed no acknowledgement of Byakko's presence, if he knew at all about it.

"Oh don't mind him," Suzaku dismissed offhandedly, "he's just thinking about that cute partner of his. I'd go back out of boredom, but Tsuzuki would most likely pitch a fit if I did."

"Eh…? You mean you have to stay here on the plane with him?" Byakko asked as he tilted his head like a cat.

Suzaku nodded in mock solemnity. "It's very boring, especially since Tsuzuki insists on sitting there like a lump, trying to be bored."

Byakko placed his hands on Suzaku's shoulders and promised her with all his heart, "I will entertain you!" He then pulled back into himself and put a finger under his chin, trying to think of ways to entertain the fiery bird as she sat there in anticipation. Suddenly after thinking of a show Tsuzuki had once watched, he was struck with brilliant, yet slightly evil inspiration and demonstrated it by giggling.

"Ooh, ooh," Suzaku said excitedly when she heard the tiger let out a giggle that little boys do so well when they know they're about to do something that's funny to them, but very, very evil to everyone else.

Byakko flashed her a feral grin and vanished suddenly.

Thinking Byakko wanted to play hide-and-seek, Suzaku craned her neck to look for any odd spot he might be, but what caught her eye was not inside the plane…but out. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Byakko holding onto the wing of the plane (which, fortunately, was where Tsuzuki's seat was), flapping around in the wind - looking like a paper tiger.

Seeing that she saw him, Byakko smiled and waved, giving her the V sign.

Suzaku laughed and gave him a standing ovation, clapping as she threw him kisses. She sat back down and watched him flap in the wind with interest as he apparently enjoyed himself.

Suddenly there was a piercing shriek by the woman sitting behind Suzaku. "There's something on the wing of the plane!!" she cried out in panic, it sounded.

Soon, almost everyone on the plane leaned over to one side to see the paper tiger flapping around happily on the wing, each voicing their alarm.

Realizing that the reason Byakko was giggling like that because he planned to make himself seen, Suzaku started laughing hysterically, though she knew she really should have been chiding him for pulling such a stunt. "Tsu-Tsuzuki!!" she gasped in between fits of laughter as she nearly collapsed on him, "C-come see what your Sh-Shiki is-is doing!!"

Caught in his own little world where no one but Hisoka was, Tsuzuki paid no heed to his hysterical Shiki.

A voice went over the intercom, making Suzaku double over in laughter, "Uh…this is your captain speaking… We're having…minor turbulence due to…something attaching itself on our wing…so please return calmly to your seats… We've got this all under control."

Still laughing as passengers reluctantly returned to their seats (but they still craned their necks to watch what they identified to be a man on the wing), Suzaku motioned for Byakko to come back inside the plane with her, but the tiger flapping in the wind just shook his head and his smile told her that he loved it out there.

The co-pilot, after speaking to first-class, came back to coach and announced that they would have to ground the plane to get the man safely off the wing, though heaven help him if he knew how someone had gotten out there anyway.

After hearing the announcement, Suzaku got Byakko's attention and made gestures showing that he had to get off there and come inside.

Byakko nodded and understood what Suzaku had said in their unspoken communication, but it seemed he had something else in mind… He motioned excitedly for Suzaku to watch, although she and dozens of the passengers hadn't taken their eyes off him. When he had her full and undivided attention, he stared ahead and tried to put on his most serious face, but it wasn't that serious and instead his face broke out into a childish smile.

Suzaku watched as Byakko continued to ready himself, knowing he was leading up to something. Then she saw it. The paper tiger in the wind abruptly let go of the wing and zipped back, as if pulled sharply by something and above all noise, she heard him cry out, "Whee!!!!!" Of course, as passengers on the plane started screaming, Suzaku laughed harder than she ever thought she could! She wasn't worried at all, though, since she saw him vanish back to home after his "daring" stunt.

Ohh, he'd catch hell from SohRyu, Suzaku just knew it!

Mentally, she thanked Byakko for everything. For the rest of the plane trip as she accompanied the dreamy Tsuzuki, she wasn't bored at all. And half of the passengers on the plane were in hysterics from that whole stunt anyway, so that deemed the entire trip a success in her eyes.

As the plane landed in Chicago, Illinois after several long, but funny hours, Suzaku poked her still human. "Tsuzuki, we're here!"

"Waaa?" Tsuzuki asked, as if her touch suddenly made him come alive. "We're here already?"

"Yep!"

"…That was such a boring trip…"

Suzaku just giggled and kissed the top of his head. "I'm glad you think so. Now, when you see Hisoka, he won't possibly be able to resist you because you'll be paying so much attention to him!"

Tsuzuki enthusiastically agreed, and while Suzaku tried to make it seem as if she were leaving him with great reluctance, she was really eager to go see how Byakko was faring under SohRyu's wrath!

*~@~*

Somewhere in GenSouKai…

SohRyu chuckled solely to himself - he couldn't bear it if anyone else heard him - as he watched a now-real paper tiger Byakko flap around in the wind some other air type Shikigami was making for him as his "punishment."

"Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!"

Aw, SohRyu was really just a big softie after all!

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To Be Continued in Chapter 3!!

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Kyaaaaa, I LOVED writing that chapter! Several times I had to stop because I just kept giggling like Suzaku at the sight of a paper-like Byakko flapping happily in the wind! Now every time I hear the phrase "paper tiger" or read Calvin and Hobbes, I'm going to think of Byakko! XD

Next Chapter: How will Tsuzuki find Hisoka when he's stuck all alone in a strange place and doesn't even know English?! He needs help! ^_^