Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Tears From Heaven ❯ Final Chapter ( Chapter 6 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Saphira112 
Tears From Heaven
Chapter Six
(Hisoka‘s P.O.V.)
Everything was dark. I never liked the dark. It had always frightened me and even now, four years after my death at sixteen, I was still afraid. I’m such a weakling. I couldn’t believe Tsuzuki had found me, then got me to return and then he… he kissed me. Why? Why would such a being like him bestow me with that gift? Why? He said he had feelings for me, but he still… I think about him leaving me forever. And I turned my back and walked out on him. I’m such an idiot. But I can’t turn back around now. And even now, I still see him walking away from me.
I reached out my hand, pleading for him to stop. “Asato, don’t leave me!”
But he vanishes every time. I don’t recall ever starting to use his first name, but I didn’t mind. He didn’t know, at least, not until now, and I could sense his feelings, even through my nightmare-ish sleep and darkness. I could even hear his thoughts, but at first, I think it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. But the words become clearer and clearer and I can’t help but want to listen. After all, this is actually hearing words from Tsuzuki’s mind. He can’t hide anything there. That’s a benefit of empathy.
I can hear him clear as water now, but his thoughts move so fast, they’re so hard to follow.
‘Erase all of your fears--’
‘Take away your pain---’
As soon as I hear one thought, another comes in quickly, erasing that one and introducing itself. It’s annoying, but I listen hard, trying to hear everything.
‘Comfort you… when you’re scared---’
‘Even… possibly…’
The thoughts are slowing down and I can hear every word. I feel my heart skip a beat and I don‘t know why.
‘Hold you in more way than one… If you would only allow me…’
‘I’d give anything just to hold you, even once…’
Hold me? I don’t understand what he means. He’s held me before, after I shot Tsubaki-hime on the Queen Camellia. And in the fires of Touda, five years ago in Kyoto. I feel a silent, hot tear on my cheek, remembering the two incidences. I suddenly feel warmth around me and I lean into it, holding myself as I shivered, trying to escape the cold hands of darkness. The warmth only grows and a familiar presence is known to me. I already know it’s Tsuzuki.
‘Hold you properly and with care…’
‘The way…’
‘The way it should be… the way you deserve…’
I don’t deserve anything, no matter how many times Tsuzuki tries to prove me wrong. But I still don’t understand what he’s thinking exactly. I already know he’s holding me as I sleep, yet, it doesn’t feel like the same thing he’s thinking. He’s now guarding his thoughts, this much I can tell. But I still get his thoughts, though I can’t paint a picture of what he wants to do.
‘Oh, Gods, Hisoka…’
‘I was such a coward… I’m so sorry…’
He was sorry? Sorry for a mistake? Sorry for what I had done? He hadn’t done anything, it was ME who left HIM, not vice versa. And I regret it greatly. I regret my mistake. I have no excuse for it, and I take full responsibility, because I can hardly do otherwise. He always blames himself, though, and I can never convince him otherwise. But he’s like a child. He’s too afraid to ask for something, and if he gets it, he’s so protective and… for the lack of a better word… obsessed. It’s frightening sometimes.
I see a small light in a ball in front of me. I hadn’t noticed it before. I reach out and allow my fingertips to barely graze its surface. Its soft, warm, and somewhat comforting. My previous regrets and pain vanished like a wisp of smoke and I felt my body being tugged towards the light of consciousness. I don’t want to be asleep, but I don’t want to wake up either. To wake up meant to have to try and explain things to Tsuzuki and being asleep meant to be cold in this darkness of REM. But I knew I couldn’t sleep forever and I couldn’t stall to explain to Tsuzuki.
The warmth from earlier began to enfold me and I allowed it. I closed my eyes, relaxing into the warmth as much as I could so it wouldn’t go away. I didn’t want it to go away. Please don’t let me lose this. I don’t want this new feeling to fade away into non-existence.
I opened my eyes blearily to meet startled, but relieved amethyst. The owner of those eyes smiled sadly at me before asking if I was all right. I blinked. No, I WASN’T all right! I remained silent, not sure whether I should shout at Tsuzuki or run away from him. I don’t know anymore. I don’t even know whether it was right for him to be holding onto me right now or not, but he was, and I didn’t want him to go. But I knew… I knew this wouldn’t last long. Not unless I told him, not unless I showed him…
Leaning up, I captured his lips in a hesitant, but somewhat defiant kiss, snaking my arms around his neck, shutting my eyes. He understood, right? I could feel his somewhat shock to the gesture, but then I heard a small purr escape his throat and he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss and stroking my back in long soothing motions, making me let out a small moan.
We parted for air a few moments later, but our faces were still so close, I could feel his hot breath tickling my cheek. Our lips were barely grazing each others. I didn’t open my eyes for fear that it would all disappear from me like it had so many times before and my hands clutched his shirt tightly, almost to the point where they were shaking. Then, I felt warm hands over mine and the lips that teased my own crushed me into another kiss, one that hadn’t been done my me, one that held true meaning, one from whom I loved.
‘I will never let you go…’ I hear him think, and it’s true. It’s the truth under the facade. He spoke the truth from the start. My only response is a thought of three words I push into his head. ‘I love you…’
And he loves me, too. Even after all I had done, he didn’t change. He didn’t ever hate me.
‘I love you, too.’
Anime/Manga: Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.26.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 425 | Status: Completed
Tears From Heaven
Chapter Six
(Hisoka‘s P.O.V.)
Everything was dark. I never liked the dark. It had always frightened me and even now, four years after my death at sixteen, I was still afraid. I’m such a weakling. I couldn’t believe Tsuzuki had found me, then got me to return and then he… he kissed me. Why? Why would such a being like him bestow me with that gift? Why? He said he had feelings for me, but he still… I think about him leaving me forever. And I turned my back and walked out on him. I’m such an idiot. But I can’t turn back around now. And even now, I still see him walking away from me.
I reached out my hand, pleading for him to stop. “Asato, don’t leave me!”
But he vanishes every time. I don’t recall ever starting to use his first name, but I didn’t mind. He didn’t know, at least, not until now, and I could sense his feelings, even through my nightmare-ish sleep and darkness. I could even hear his thoughts, but at first, I think it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. But the words become clearer and clearer and I can’t help but want to listen. After all, this is actually hearing words from Tsuzuki’s mind. He can’t hide anything there. That’s a benefit of empathy.
I can hear him clear as water now, but his thoughts move so fast, they’re so hard to follow.
‘Erase all of your fears--’
‘Take away your pain---’
As soon as I hear one thought, another comes in quickly, erasing that one and introducing itself. It’s annoying, but I listen hard, trying to hear everything.
‘Comfort you… when you’re scared---’
‘Even… possibly…’
The thoughts are slowing down and I can hear every word. I feel my heart skip a beat and I don‘t know why.
‘Hold you in more way than one… If you would only allow me…’
‘I’d give anything just to hold you, even once…’
Hold me? I don’t understand what he means. He’s held me before, after I shot Tsubaki-hime on the Queen Camellia. And in the fires of Touda, five years ago in Kyoto. I feel a silent, hot tear on my cheek, remembering the two incidences. I suddenly feel warmth around me and I lean into it, holding myself as I shivered, trying to escape the cold hands of darkness. The warmth only grows and a familiar presence is known to me. I already know it’s Tsuzuki.
‘Hold you properly and with care…’
‘The way…’
‘The way it should be… the way you deserve…’
I don’t deserve anything, no matter how many times Tsuzuki tries to prove me wrong. But I still don’t understand what he’s thinking exactly. I already know he’s holding me as I sleep, yet, it doesn’t feel like the same thing he’s thinking. He’s now guarding his thoughts, this much I can tell. But I still get his thoughts, though I can’t paint a picture of what he wants to do.
‘Oh, Gods, Hisoka…’
‘I was such a coward… I’m so sorry…’
He was sorry? Sorry for a mistake? Sorry for what I had done? He hadn’t done anything, it was ME who left HIM, not vice versa. And I regret it greatly. I regret my mistake. I have no excuse for it, and I take full responsibility, because I can hardly do otherwise. He always blames himself, though, and I can never convince him otherwise. But he’s like a child. He’s too afraid to ask for something, and if he gets it, he’s so protective and… for the lack of a better word… obsessed. It’s frightening sometimes.
I see a small light in a ball in front of me. I hadn’t noticed it before. I reach out and allow my fingertips to barely graze its surface. Its soft, warm, and somewhat comforting. My previous regrets and pain vanished like a wisp of smoke and I felt my body being tugged towards the light of consciousness. I don’t want to be asleep, but I don’t want to wake up either. To wake up meant to have to try and explain things to Tsuzuki and being asleep meant to be cold in this darkness of REM. But I knew I couldn’t sleep forever and I couldn’t stall to explain to Tsuzuki.
The warmth from earlier began to enfold me and I allowed it. I closed my eyes, relaxing into the warmth as much as I could so it wouldn’t go away. I didn’t want it to go away. Please don’t let me lose this. I don’t want this new feeling to fade away into non-existence.
I opened my eyes blearily to meet startled, but relieved amethyst. The owner of those eyes smiled sadly at me before asking if I was all right. I blinked. No, I WASN’T all right! I remained silent, not sure whether I should shout at Tsuzuki or run away from him. I don’t know anymore. I don’t even know whether it was right for him to be holding onto me right now or not, but he was, and I didn’t want him to go. But I knew… I knew this wouldn’t last long. Not unless I told him, not unless I showed him…
Leaning up, I captured his lips in a hesitant, but somewhat defiant kiss, snaking my arms around his neck, shutting my eyes. He understood, right? I could feel his somewhat shock to the gesture, but then I heard a small purr escape his throat and he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss and stroking my back in long soothing motions, making me let out a small moan.
We parted for air a few moments later, but our faces were still so close, I could feel his hot breath tickling my cheek. Our lips were barely grazing each others. I didn’t open my eyes for fear that it would all disappear from me like it had so many times before and my hands clutched his shirt tightly, almost to the point where they were shaking. Then, I felt warm hands over mine and the lips that teased my own crushed me into another kiss, one that hadn’t been done my me, one that held true meaning, one from whom I loved.
‘I will never let you go…’ I hear him think, and it’s true. It’s the truth under the facade. He spoke the truth from the start. My only response is a thought of three words I push into his head. ‘I love you…’
And he loves me, too. Even after all I had done, he didn’t change. He didn’t ever hate me.
‘I love you, too.’
Anime/Manga: Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.26.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 425 | Status: Completed
Tears From Heaven
Chapter Six
(Hisoka`s P.O.V.)
Everything was dark. I never liked the dark. It had always frightened me and even now, four years after my death at sixteen, I was still afraid. I'm such a weakling. I couldn't believe Tsuzuki had found me, then got me to return and then he… he kissed me. Why? Why would such a being like him bestow me with that gift? Why? He said he had feelings for me, but he still… I think about him leaving me forever. And I turned my back and walked out on him. I'm such an idiot. But I can't turn back around now. And even now, I still see him walking away from me.
I reached out my hand, pleading for him to stop. “Asato, don't leave me!”
But he vanishes every time. I don't recall ever starting to use his first name, but I didn't mind. He didn't know, at least, not until now, and I could sense his feelings, even through my nightmare-ish sleep and darkness. I could even hear his thoughts, but at first, I think it's just my mind playing tricks on me. But the words become clearer and clearer and I can't help but want to listen. After all, this is actually hearing words from Tsuzuki's mind. He can't hide anything there. That's a benefit of empathy.
I can hear him clear as water now, but his thoughts move so fast, they're so hard to follow.
`Erase all of your fears--'
`Take away your pain---'
As soon as I hear one thought, another comes in quickly, erasing that one and introducing itself. It's annoying, but I listen hard, trying to hear everything.
`Comfort you… when you're scared---'
`Even… possibly…'
The thoughts are slowing down and I can hear every word. I feel my heart skip a beat and I don`t know why.
`Hold you in more way than one… If you would only allow me…'
`I'd give anything just to hold you, even once…'
Hold me? I don't understand what he means. He's held me before, after I shot Tsubaki-hime on the Queen Camellia. And in the fires of Touda, five years ago in Kyoto. I feel a silent, hot tear on my cheek, remembering the two incidences. I suddenly feel warmth around me and I lean into it, holding myself as I shivered, trying to escape the cold hands of darkness. The warmth only grows and a familiar presence is known to me. I already know it's Tsuzuki.
`Hold you properly and with care…'
`The way…'
`The way it should be… the way you deserve…'
I don't deserve anything, no matter how many times Tsuzuki tries to prove me wrong. But I still don't understand what he's thinking exactly. I already know he's holding me as I sleep, yet, it doesn't feel like the same thing he's thinking. He's now guarding his thoughts, this much I can tell. But I still get his thoughts, though I can't paint a picture of what he wants to do.
`Oh, Gods, Hisoka…'
`I was such a coward… I'm so sorry…'
He was sorry? Sorry for a mistake? Sorry for what I had done? He hadn't done anything, it was ME who left HIM, not vice versa. And I regret it greatly. I regret my mistake. I have no excuse for it, and I take full responsibility, because I can hardly do otherwise. He always blames himself, though, and I can never convince him otherwise. But he's like a child. He's too afraid to ask for something, and if he gets it, he's so protective and… for the lack of a better word… obsessed. It's frightening sometimes.
I see a small light in a ball in front of me. I hadn't noticed it before. I reach out and allow my fingertips to barely graze its surface. Its soft, warm, and somewhat comforting. My previous regrets and pain vanished like a wisp of smoke and I felt my body being tugged towards the light of consciousness. I don't want to be asleep, but I don't want to wake up either. To wake up meant to have to try and explain things to Tsuzuki and being asleep meant to be cold in this darkness of REM. But I knew I couldn't sleep forever and I couldn't stall to explain to Tsuzuki.
The warmth from earlier began to enfold me and I allowed it. I closed my eyes, relaxing into the warmth as much as I could so it wouldn't go away. I didn't want it to go away. Please don't let me lose this. I don't want this new feeling to fade away into non-existence.
I opened my eyes blearily to meet startled, but relieved amethyst. The owner of those eyes smiled sadly at me before asking if I was all right. I blinked. No, I WASN'T all right! I remained silent, not sure whether I should shout at Tsuzuki or run away from him. I don't know anymore. I don't even know whether it was right for him to be holding onto me right now or not, but he was, and I didn't want him to go. But I knew… I knew this wouldn't last long. Not unless I told him, not unless I showed him…
Leaning up, I captured his lips in a hesitant, but somewhat defiant kiss, snaking my arms around his neck, shutting my eyes. He understood, right? I could feel his somewhat shock to the gesture, but then I heard a small purr escape his throat and he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss and stroking my back in long soothing motions, making me let out a small moan.
We parted for air a few moments later, but our faces were still so close, I could feel his hot breath tickling my cheek. Our lips were barely grazing each others. I didn't open my eyes for fear that it would all disappear from me like it had so many times before and my hands clutched his shirt tightly, almost to the point where they were shaking. Then, I felt warm hands over mine and the lips that teased my own crushed me into another kiss, one that hadn't been done my me, one that held true meaning, one from whom I loved.
`I will never let you go…' I hear him think, and it's true. It's the truth under the facade. He spoke the truth from the start. My only response is a thought of three words I push into his head. `I love you…'
And he loves me, too. Even after all I had done, he didn't change. He didn't ever hate me.
`I love you, too.'