Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Boredom Antics ❯ He Can Afford It, That's Why ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
DISCLAIMER: I don't own YGO. dmnt.

Chapter One: He can afford it, that's why.

*In the POV of Seto Kaiba*

As I was dealing with the fact that there is no way there can be magic, by pure
coincedence Ishizu Ishtar called. Again. Only this time she wanted to meet with
me so she could get Obelisk back.

Of course I was less than enthusiastic to part with this astounding card of
power (;_;), but I was actually dreading the visit because you can never
comprehend what an Ishtar is thinking. For all I knew, she was going to suck my
memory dry; give it to the media; who would in turn make myself the object of
many a cover story, cruel interview, and sympathetic gesture. All of which I
shudder to think about.

But I went anyway fearing the fact that Ishizu also knew how to SPAM people
with E-mails, only in such a case the E would stand for Evil.

So after all that was done with, I came back home feeling like nothing else
could get me any downer.

But I was wrong.

Not only had Mokuba found my personal chocolate stash, eaten all of it, fired
all the ugly servants (not that I blame him), hired young, sexy maids as
replacements (for which I do blame fondly), put dried ragweed in all the guest
bedrooms, and turned our backyard into a cemetary for roadkill, but he also
messed around with my computer. My secret, personal, uderground,
voice-responding, never mess with, die if you touch it, don't indicate it's
existance, hacking computer.


I'll have to do some brotherly torture to him sometime. At a time he'll never
expect it. Something only an older sibling can do; like hide all of his
underwear, or put mothballs under his pillow, or make up a story about him and
put it on the net, etc.

And as I'm about to get angry at Mokuba for the first time, one of the new sexy
maids comes up to me.

And wouldn't you know it.

More knews.


"A few boys from your school came by here as you were gone. They wanted to
know if you wanted to come by the 'Kame Game Shop' for a few hours

"No." I said in the most polite way someone could while yelling.

"I'm going to my room. If I'm needed for anything, don't bother me. I'll
be very busy with a project that requires complicated formulas, and if you
bother me my body temperature will go up from trying to ignore you, in which
case would mean that there is an unneeded life form pestering me and I might be
persuaded to believe the tales of the Egyptian priest and destroy life as you
know it. Now go away."

Of course this outburst inspired some rather odd looks in my general direction,
but I ignored it and moved on.

I found myself a few hours later in my room pondering over the existence of my
life and thinking about how I could make it any more interesting.

Interesting as in worth paying attention to.

And then it hit me.

A plan.

*Most other rich people do 'stuff',* I thought, *Why don't I?*

Of course it then hit me that my life would go down the drain from 'rich' to
'rich and ridiculed'. The latter of which I could not afford.

So I continued pondering.

And pondering.

And then I pondered upon another plan.

A brilliant plan.

A plan that I could afford.

A plan that would make all past evil plans to look like they were jokes.

A really good plan.

*Mwahaahaahaahaahaa* I spat out in my brain.

Of course if I was caught, all crap would break loose.

And of course it would break loose anyway.

But I was so bored that I decided to go ahead and do it.

*Mwahaahaahaahaahaa* I thought again.

Life was going to get really interesting really fast.

Starting tomorrow.

Which is where the story truly begins.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::

On the day the boys from Seto's school asked if Seto wanted to go to the
Kame Game Shop:

*Normal POV*

Yugi: I wonder if Seto is coming today...........................

Joey: I doubt it. He's such a jerk when it comes to friendship.

Tristan: I wouldn't be surprised if his only friends were Mokuba and his

*Both of them start laughing*

Te`a: Normally I'd agree with you guys, but did you see him at school the other

Yugi: Yeah. He looked like he was ready to pound his head against a brick wall.

Tristan: He probably didn't know what he was going to spend hid vast amounts of
richness on.

Joey: RIGHT! Well he can start by giving some to ME!

*Both of them start laughing again*

Yugi: I'm serious, guys! It must be really tough to be in his position. You
know; owning and running a major company, having to take care of a little
brother, all those boring business meetings and trips, having to worry about the
media, and still in high school. I'm surprised anyone would be able to survive
in that position.

Joey: *Stops laughing* Hey, Yug'. You're right. I never thought of it that way

Tristan: You just don't think.

Joey: >:-(

*Just then, who of all people but Seto Kaiba walked in the door*

Yugi/Joey/Tristan/Te`a: O_O

Seto: O_O?

Them: O_O

Seto: O_O Um, hi.

Them: O_O Hi.

Seto: O_O

Them: O_O

Seto: O_O Wasn't there some reason you asked one of my servants if I wanted to
come here today?

Yugi: Uuuhhh, yeah. But I was thought that you had a meeting or something, so I
never really expected you to show up.

Seto: Yeah, I did. But canceled it.

Joey: Why didn't you go?

Tristan: I thought you hated us.

Seto: *To Joey* ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??! Those things are sooooooooooooo
boring and sooooooooo long and I'm pretty sure that all of them are gays.

Them: O O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Seto: Well, anyway, what was it?

Te`a: We, um, well, were, um, kinda wondering if you, um, might, uh, wanna, um,
er, uh, well......................................

Seto: ............................. your point is..........?

Te`a: Well, um, maybe, wanna, sorta, kinda, in some way, a little, mighta-


Seto: Oh, is that all?

Yugi: Well, yeah...........

Seto: Er, okay.

Them: O_O

Seto: O_O;

Them: O_O

Seto: Would you please stop looking at me like that?

Them: Okay.

Te`a: Anyway, we realize that you are not familiar with or system of hanging
out. So we're gonna show you how it works! ^_^

Seto: :-| Alright.

Te`a: First, we argue over who decided what we did last time, then over who
decided to make us eat where, and then we elect someone to make us go out and do
stuff and eat things together, and that person decides what we do and where we
eat, or they choose someone to decide the restraunt sitiation.

Joey: Kapish?

Seto: Uuuuuuhhhhh.................... example?

Tristan: Alright.

Tristan/Joey/Yugi/Te`a: *Start babbling loudly about food n'stuff*

Seto: O_O;

Te`a: Okay, we have now come to a decision. First we get sodas and junk or
whatever, then we go to the park and watch Joey and Tristan battle it out over a
doughnut, then come back here and update our decks. N'kay?

Seto: Sure.

Little do the gang of friends know of the awsome trouble that would come from
this "hanging out".

*At the nearest common fast-food restraunt*

Joey: That's ALL you're getting?!

Tristan: Just ONE medium shake?!

Seto: -_-; Um, yeah....... so?

Yugi: ^_^; You'll have to forgive them. They don't eat less than 48 ounces a
meal, absolute minimum.

Seto: I see thet. *Staring at Joey's and Tristan's fifteen burgers, three
Pepsis, nine apple pies, and two large shakes of each flavor for both of them*

Te`a: *Comes back with her order of food* I just realized something. Seto, you
didn't tell us WHY you picked us as your first choice of substitute errand.

Seto: Well, uhhhhhhhhh...........

*All eyes on him*

Seto: =*__*= Er, I kinda wanted to apologize for how stupid I've acted towards
you........ *Looks down emberrased* But there's alot of my life that no one
knows about, including Mokaba. And it kinda gets stressful after a while.

Te`a: It's okay, Seto. We'll be your friends!

Seto's thoughts #Idiot. You'll be the first to go.#


*Standing around in dark ally somewhere*

Mysterious Guy: Now be careful wit dat. Dat'll cause a grown elephant to really
pick up 'is feets, if you know what I mean.

Seto: -_-+ I was JUST going to wreak havoc among some of my enemies.

Mysterious Guy: Oh. Well, den go all out in dat situation.


#They're all going to pay. MWAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA#

Seto: *Watches Joey and Tristan battle for the fifteenth burger. Since Yugi and
Te`a are watching also, he slips a mysterious powder substance into Te`a's

Te`a: *Reaches for her beverage*

#Yes....... YES...... Consume the heroin!!!#

Te`a: *Takes big ol' slug of Pepsi containing the illegal drug*


Te`a: 0.o? That seems to have an extra kick to it, somehow............


Te`a: What is that odd taste.........?


Te`a: o.0.............. 0.o......... o.0............... 0.o..............?

Yugi: Te`a? Are you all right? TE`A?

Joey/Tristan: *Stop fighting and look at Te `a*

Seto: *To seem inocent* Does she act this way often???

Te`a: O.o............ o.O......... 0.O........ O.0..........o.0......

Te`a then jumps out of her seat and does some sort of primitive dance on

Te`a: HOOO-waila-waila-waila-waila! HOOO-waila-waila-waila-waila-waila! *__o

#WOW! That's fast acting stuff!!!#

Joey/Tristan/Yugi: WHAT THE F?!!

Seto: O__O

Te`a then starts doing the chicken dance in conga line format.

off of table and congas out into the park*

Seto: OwO;;;;;;

#Why do I have the feeling that something really, really, really, really strange
is going to take place soon?#


HAH! There is going to be SO MUCH Te`a bashing, Kazuki Takahashi's gonna feel
WRITE REVEVIEW!! And if you give me a really hysterical/emberrasing situation to
put Te`a in I'll Put it in the story!!
Later! ^___^