Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Boredom Antics ❯ You Want Doughnuts Wid Dat? ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
DISCLAIMER: I'll never be rich enough to by the Seto rights from
Takahashi-sensei, much less the entire YGO sha-bang...
Chapter 3: You Want Doughnuts Wid Dat?
:Seto's POV once again and for the beginning of every chapter:


I'm bored.


You're prabably wondering how in the world I can be bored after something like

After an uninteresting business meeting and having to take care of a sick
little brother, I just am.

More depressed than bored, really.

But you know what I mean.

So I'm gonna give that mysterious guy in the dark alley another visit.

Though I'm gonna be more careful this time.

But who should be next?

I am pondering.

And pondering.

I notice a spot on the ceiling.

It's a very interesting spot.

But I continue pondering.

And ponder upon the next victim.



Joey's gonna feel the wrath of one very bored CEO.

But how do I catch the mutt?


I don't even have to ponder.

Just one little word.


Doughnuts, particularly.


When should I strike?

The phone rings.

I go over to it.

It rings again.

I pick it up.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hello, Mr. Kaiba. We at BellSouth were wondering if you would be
interested in--"

I slam the phone down.


I hate telemarketers.

Disgusting slime balls capable of hideous strategies!

Even more hideous than the thought of Pegasus in a g-string.


They should all die and burn in Hades with Te`a.

I hate Te`a.

The phone rings again

"Hello?" I say once again.

"Hi Seto!"

"Hi Yugi."

"We were wondering how Mokuba was doing. Is he any better?"

In the distance a gigantic sneeze is heard, ringing throughout the entire

A picture fell off the wall and crunched a vase.

Undoubtedly Yugi had heard it.

"Yes, he's much better."

"Uh-huh... Well, Tristan got home yesterday but he won't go

Awkward silence.

"But I was wondering if you would come with Joey and me to the Duel
Mosters Expo."

"I wasn't really planning on going, but I could spare some time." I
grinned semi-evilly.

"Great! Meet you there at eleven?"


And we hung up.

I looked at the clock.


Gives me enough time to get the "stuff" from the mysterious guy, get
the doughnuts, come back home and give some doughnuts to Mokuba, drug the other
doughnuts, and get to the expo to raise some jigoku.

"Mwahaahaa." I laughed mentally.

Another thought struck me.

"I've really got to work on that."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::

At eleven at the Duel Monsters Expo on the same day that Yugi called Seto
asking him if he would like to come...

Joey: Ya think he'll show?

Yugi: Why wouldn't he?

Joey: I can't help it. I'm just suspicious dat rich kid.

Yugi: Suspicious of what, Joey?

Joey: I dunno. I just got da feelin' he's up ta sum'n.

Yugi: A good something or a bad something?

Joey: ... Just... SOMETHING...

Yugi: Here comes Seto now. Hi Seto! ^_^

Seto: Hi Yugi, Joey.

Joey: Hi there, Kaiba. How's Mokuba been?

Seto: His sneezing is down to a 3 on the richtor scale.

Yugi/Joey: 0_0;;

Seto: I see a bunch of your friends are here... *Spots Mako, Weevil, Rex, Espa,
and Mai*

Yugi: *Also spots Mai* Oh, hey Joey, there's MAI.

Joey: =O_O= WHERE?

Mai: *Appears behind Joey* Hello Joseph!

Joey: *Gasps, spins around, blushes furiously* =====^___^===== H-hi, Mai!

Mai/Joey: =^_^= Bla bla bla blah blah blah barg blarg blarg rata-tat-tat yabba
dabba so-on-and-so-forth dah dee dah...

Yugi: How cute! =^_^=

Seto: I suppose...

Yugi: Aw, c'mon!

Seto: One step at a time.

Someone appears behind Yugi.

? ?: Hey, you're Yugi Mouto!

Yugi: *Turns* Uh... yeah!

? ?: Could you spare some time to give me the honor of losing to you in a

Seto/Yugi: 0_0;?

Yugi: Uh... yeah... I could do that...

? ?: Thank you! *Drags Yugi over to a spot to duel*

Seto: 0_0;;? Oh....kay...

#Now I'm bored AND this WOULD BE the opportune moment to strike... (looks at
Joey)... if my target weren't babbling#

Seto: *Sigh*

#... But I can go get the doughnuts! Maybe they'll be done by the time I get

Seto: *Goes to get the bait*

About fifteen minutes later Seto got back with doughnut box in hand. But only
because the parking lot was freaking huge and filled up.

Seto: NOW where'd he get to? Er, guess I'd better find him and make sure no one
but him eat these "bait bagles". *Goes looking for Joey, and finds him
losing to Mai in a what else? Duel*

Mai: I activate Harpie's Feather Duster! To wipe away your Robbin' Goblin and
face-down card!

Joey: Not so fast! Now I activate my face-down card; Gryphon Wing!! Which
disables Feather Duster and destroys your magic/trap cards!

Mai: Grrrr... Then I end my turn.

Joey: Flame Swordsman! Wipe out her Harpie Lady!


Mai: Grrrrr!!

Joey: HAH! I end my turn.

Mai I play Hibikime in attack mode and place a card face-down, ending my turn.

Joey: OK, Flame Swordsman, ATTACK!!

Mai: You set off my trap! Mirror Wall!

Joey: NOOO!! He's only got 900 attack points! I aint got nothing, I end my turn.

Mai: *Orders Hibikime to attack, destroys Flame Swordsman* And that's the last
of your life points! I WIN! ^__^

Both Joey and Mai get off the dueling platform.

Seto: *Doesn't know what to do now, so doesn't do anything*

Mai: (To Joey) Um, I've been wanting to ask you a question.

Joey: What?

Mai: Why's Kaiba been hanging out with you guys?

Joey: Not quite sure. Somethin' about bein' overloaded, but I wasn't realy
listenin'. I think Yugi would tell ya. *Spots Yugi*

Yugi: *Is still on dueling platform, and nine other people have lined up to duel

Yugi: (To himeselves) Why do I have to be so darn good? I'm hungry!

Joey: Or he could tell ya later...

Mai: Hi, Kaiba.

Seto: Hi.

#You defeated Joey, for once. What a pathetic...#

Joey: *Sniffs air* Kaiba, you got DOUGNUTS?!!

#How'd he do that?!#

Seto: Uh, yeah...

Joey: Can I have 'em?! PLEASE?!!

Seto: Have the whole box. *Gives him doughnuts*


Joey: THANKS!! You want some Mai?

Mai: No thanks, I'm on a diet. *Again*

Joey: Whatever. *Eats all doughnuts in three minutes flat*

#The man said this wouldn't happen as quickly, but we shall see. MWAHAAHAA!#

Joey: Thanks! *Throughs box away*

Yugi: Thanks for what, Joey?

Seto: How'd you finish dueling so fast?

Yugi: I let Yami take over. He's not as nice as me, so he wiped them out really

Joey/Seto/Mai: Oh... *They still find the situation a bit awkward*

Yugi: *Ignores awkwardness* Hey Seto, wanna duel me?

Seto: Why not?

#Everyone's gonna be cheering for you and they think I'm an evil apacolipse,
and you cheat because that pharaoh always helps you out and the power of that
golden accessory around your neck. But at least I have fangirls#

Yugi: OK! *He and Seto go to the center dueling platform*

Let me take a moment to explain the dueling platforms. They're just elevations
about 2 feet off the floor and the duelists use the duel disks from Battle City,
or if that was too expensive they use the previous model. But don't worry, Seto
Kaiba has much better stuff planned for his next tournament.


All the special effects start and the players draw their cards. Yugi starts.

Yugi: [LP=4000] I play Beta the Magnet Warrior (1700/1600) in attack mode and
place one card face down, ending my turn.

Seto: [LP=4000] I place a card face down, then play Dragon Human (1300/1100) to
end my turn.

Yugi: #Why would Seto play THAT? He's got to have something planned# I-- *Looks
to his right* 0_0 Uuuuhhh...

Seto: *Looks to his left* 0_0 Hhmm...

It appears as though a camera is pointed at them and their duel is being
brodcasted to the entire city.

Yugi: ... Right... I play the Inexpirienced Spy. Let me see the card to the far

Seto: *Shows him the card*

Yugi: Good card. I play Black Pendant equipping it to Beta (2200/1600), now
attack! And end my turn.

~Dragon Human is destroyed~

Seto: [LP=3100] Grrr.I play Lord of Dragons in attack mode, and activate The
Flute of Summoning Dragons! Bringi--

Seto is interupted by Joey's cheering. The heroin has started up. Oh joy.

Joey: Go Yugi! Go Yugi! Kick dat rich kid's butt!! Why, you ask? 'Cuz he called
me a mangy mutt!

Seto: ... Bringng Hyozanryu (2100/2800) and Kiryu (2000/1500) onto the field. I
place one card face down and end my turn.

Joey: YUGI! YUGI! He da man! He can't do it, PHARAOH can!
YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!!! *Has gotten into a girl cheerleader outfit,
complete with pompoms*

Yugi: Uh, Joey? Are you feeling all right?

Joey: I ain't NEVER felt better! But I won't knit a sweater! YEAH!!

Seto: ..........

Yugi: .......... Now I will place a monster card face down, and attack Hyozanryu
with Beta the Magnet Warrior! GO!!!

Joey: GO!! GO!! Go some mo'!! *Shaking pompoms*

Seto: Reveal face-down card! Reinforcments!!

~Hyozanryu gains a temporary 500 attack points and withstands Beta's attack, who
incidently destroys himself~

Yugi: Grrrrrrr I shoulda seen that coming. The effect of Black Pendant makes you
lose 500 life points, and I place one more card face-down and end my turn.

Seto: [LP=2600] I will--

Joey: We're gonna win! It's clear as a bell!! And if you try to stop us, we'll
send you strait to... Hello operater! Get me number nine! If you won't do it,
I'll kick your big... Behind da door! Next to da walls! He poses as a threat, so
kick him in da... BALLOONS!!! They fly! They fly so high! YEAH!!!

The entire duel has paused, so has everyone at the Expo has stopped, and even
the camracrew is staring at Joey.

Everyone: 0.o

Joey: ^_________________________________________________^

Seto: .......... I will sacrifice Lord of Dragons and Kiryu to summon Blue Eyes
White Dragon!

Joey: Give me B-L-U-E-E-Y-E-S-W-H-I-T-E-D-R-A-G-O-N!!! What do ya got?! BLUE

By now, even the holographic monsters are staring at Joey the cheerleader; who
is doing cheerleader stuff and knocking over popcorn stands, and somehow gotten
his hair into pigtails much like Rebecca Hawkins.

#Holy crap!!Tea was dangerous, but this is just scary!#

Seto: Now I play Dian Keto the Cure Master [LP=3600] and order Hyozanryu to
attack your face-down card!

The card is wall of illusion, so Hyozanryu is sent back to Seto's hand.

Joey: AW! Poor rich kid! He looks so saaaaaad! Better beware! Don't wanna make
him maaad!!

Seto: *Twitch* ....... I place two cards face down and end my turn.

Yugi: I play Gemini Elf in defense mode, and now I--

Joey: LeatherMan!! LeatherMan!!You wear leather whenever you CAN!! In da dark!
Or in da snow! Ya can't get enough! So get some mo'!!!

Yugi: Are you absolutely SURE you're all right Joey?

Joey: Right Right Right! It's all Right Right Right!!!

Yugi: ............... I end my turn....... #Something's wrong with Joey. But I'm
in a duel! I hope Seto takes the bait!#

Seto: Now, Blue Eyes!! Atta--

Joey: S-E-T-O!! He is a CEO!! Makes billions of yen a YEAR!! Got a sexy body
aint got no FEAR!! No one orders him around! No borders keep him in bound!!
Nothing's got him outa whack! Nothing'll get him into check!! He's got no time
to flirt, so just hope for a SEXY smirk!! Who knows? YOU knows? WE ALL KNOWS

Seto: .................................. Attack the idiot in the crowd!! White

BEWD: *Attacks Joey*

The holographic BEWD does attack Joey, but Joey somehow dodges it with a
cartwheel and leaps right onto the dueling platform in front of Seto. Now Joey
has knocked Seto down and is crawling onto him, making everyone at the Expo look
in wide-eyed horror. And so is everyone who is watching this on TV.

Ygui: O,O

Camracrew: O,O

Mai: *Has gone off crying*

Others: O,O

Joey: (sorta whispering) Hey Seto!

Seto: ;;;O__O;;;


Remarkably, that is when it wore off, and Joey found himself crawling onto Seto
in a cheereleading costume and pigtails, Yugi gawking at him, and the entire
city staring in utter awkwardness; whereas Seto was just staring back at him
with that look "come any closer and I'll..."

It was also when Seto felt Joey had come a little too close and used his shoe
to push Joey away, to a... safer... distance.

Joey: O_O

Seto: O_O

Yugi: O_O

Camracrew: O_O

Tristan: *at home* O_O

Grandpa: O_O

Mokuba: O_O

Others: O_O

Gemini Elf: O_O


Joey: O_O uh............ hi.......?

Yugi: O_O

Seto: O_O

So after everything was cleared up and most people had gone home Seto was
laying on his bed staring at what would be the ceiling if the canopy weren't in
the way. But he just kept staring and staring, unable to get the expiriences of
the day out of his head.

Seto's POV

That was so awkward.

And scary.

My mind is going numb just thinking about it.

I don't want to think about it.

But I can't get it out.

If I go to sleep, it'll haunt me in nightmares.

I'd rather have Gozaburo around than THAT.





________________________________________________________________________ ________

That was a rather odd one to write... O_O;; sorry to Joey fans out there.
Next episode: Ryou's turn. Only I won't do anything dirty or anything like that.
But don't flame that until it's put up, prejudices.

And, yes, the S-E-T-O cheer is mine! ^__^ Just for Seto!

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