Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Commercials for Nutrient Z ❯ Z ( One-Shot )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Nova-san 
Z, baby.
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 03.01.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 927 | Visits: 492 | Status: Completed
Z, baby.
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 03.01.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 927 | Visits: 492 | Status: Completed
Commercials for Nutrient Z
Commercial one- Yami, Kaiba and Pegasus are fishing at a pier. Everyone has a bottle of Nutrient Z except for Yami.
Yami: Um, Kaiba?
Kaiba: *looks annoyed* What do you want, Yugi?
Yami: Well, um. *clears throat* I know that we’ve been rivals for a long time. But I want you to know that I consider you a friend. And I love you, man! *pretends to cry*
Kaiba: Yugi, you’re not getting any Nutrient Z. So stop acting gay.
Yami: *stops fake crying* Oh. Damn it.
Announcer: Nutrient Z! Get your own!
Yami: Pegasus?
Pegasus: *shakes head* No, Yugi boy.
Commercial two- Yami and Joey are sitting in the living room of Joey’s house, watching a movie. Joey has a bottle of Nutrient Z.
Yami: (I wish Joey would share his Nutrient Z. If only I could find a way to get it from him. Hmmm…) Hey, Joey.
Joey: What’s up, Yuge?
Yami: *evil smile* How about a shadow game?
Joey: Wha?!
Announcer: Nutrient Z! The taste you’d kill for!
Commercial three- Kaiba is standing by a giant bottle of Nutrient Z. He is wearing a leather jacket, a fisherman hat, parachute pants, a Flavor Flav clock medallion, and Chuck Taylors. (Satire indeed…)
Kaiba: Okay, I’m ready. D.J., drop my beat.
D.J.: Are you sure, Kaiba? You’ve never rapped before.
Kaiba: Just run the beat, bitch.
A phat ass rap beat comes on.
Kaiba: Yo, I’m M.C. Kaiba and I’m here to say. Drink Nutrient Z and it’ll blow you away. It’s the illest drink. Even Blue Eyes likes it. It’s Kaiba in the house, reppin’ Z on the mic, bitch.
Announcer: Nutrient Z! Getting all up in your grill and making you ill!
Kaiba: Word. Kaibacorp, Bitches.
Commercial four- Two duelists are in the middle of a duel.
Duelist 1: Ha! That’s another 3000 life points! You’re goin’ down, bitch!
Duelist 2: Oh no, what do I do?
Suddenly, Kaiba bursts through the door on a Blue Eyes White Dragon.
Duelists: Seto Kaiba!?
Kaiba: That’s right, punks. It’s me, Kaiba. And I’m here to show you why you keep losing like a punk bitch every time you duel.
Duelist 2: It’s true! I suck.
Kaiba: Of course. Cause you’re not me. But I have something that’ll make you suck just a little less.
Duelist 2: What is it?
Kaiba: Nutrient Z, loser.
Duelists: Nutrient Z?
Kaiba: Drink one, dumbass.
Kaiba hands duelist 2 a bottle of Nutrient Z. He drinks it.
Duelist 2: I play Koumori Dragon!
Duelist 1’s Blue eyes destroys it. Duelist 2 loses.
Duelist 2: I still lost!
Kaiba: Yeah, cause your deck sucks. Nutrient Z can’t help that, loser.
Kaiba slaps duelist 2 upside the head.
Announcer: Nutrient Z! It can only help you, not your punk ass deck!
Commercial five- Yugi, Joey, and Tristan are sitting on a porch with bottle of Nutrient Z.
All: …
Joey: …
Yugi: …
Tristan: …
Announcer: Nutrient Z! Just Chillin’!
Joey: Who the hell was that?
Tristan: *shrugs*
Yugi: He’s the only one that gets paid.
Commercial six- A bunch of bigwigs are sitting in a meeting.
Bigwig 1: You guys, Kaibacorp just isn’t raking in the sales with this Nutrient Z thing.
Bigwig 2: Maybe we should do some sort of giveaway.
Bigwig 3: What did you have in mind?
Bigwig 2: I was thinking a free Blue eyes white dragon with every drink.
Bigwig 4: That’s stupid. Everyone in the world owns a blue eyes white dragon. And only the truly pathetic care about owning another. Hell, the last time I checked, no one even played the game anymore.
Bigwig 2: I’m not talking about the card. I mean a REAL Blue eyes. Could you picture that? Kids with a real Blue eyes?
They all begin to imagine a kid with a real Blue eyes white dragon.
Kid: I’ll love you forever, Blue eyes!
Blue eyes eats the kid.
Blue eyes: *burps*
The fantasy ends.
Bigwigs: … Nah.
Bigwig 1: How about a contest to win a date with Tea?
They all begin to imagine some kid holding hands with an overly busty version of Tea.
Kid: *laughing maniacally while staring at Tea’s titanic rack* Heheh… Heheh… Heheheh… *drools*
The fantasy ends.
Bigwigs: We have a winner.
Announcer: Nutrient Z! We care about the kids! *speaking really fast in a low voice* Kaibacorp is in no way responsible for any psychological damage caused to your children by excessive staring at Tea Gardner’s enormous pair of hooters. No children were eaten during the making of this commercial.
FIN
Commercial one- Yami, Kaiba and Pegasus are fishing at a pier. Everyone has a bottle of Nutrient Z except for Yami.
Yami: Um, Kaiba?
Kaiba: *looks annoyed* What do you want, Yugi?
Yami: Well, um. *clears throat* I know that we’ve been rivals for a long time. But I want you to know that I consider you a friend. And I love you, man! *pretends to cry*
Kaiba: Yugi, you’re not getting any Nutrient Z. So stop acting gay.
Yami: *stops fake crying* Oh. Damn it.
Announcer: Nutrient Z! Get your own!
Yami: Pegasus?
Pegasus: *shakes head* No, Yugi boy.
Commercial two- Yami and Joey are sitting in the living room of Joey’s house, watching a movie. Joey has a bottle of Nutrient Z.
Yami: (I wish Joey would share his Nutrient Z. If only I could find a way to get it from him. Hmmm…) Hey, Joey.
Joey: What’s up, Yuge?
Yami: *evil smile* How about a shadow game?
Joey: Wha?!
Announcer: Nutrient Z! The taste you’d kill for!
Commercial three- Kaiba is standing by a giant bottle of Nutrient Z. He is wearing a leather jacket, a fisherman hat, parachute pants, a Flavor Flav clock medallion, and Chuck Taylors. (Satire indeed…)
Kaiba: Okay, I’m ready. D.J., drop my beat.
D.J.: Are you sure, Kaiba? You’ve never rapped before.
Kaiba: Just run the beat, bitch.
A phat ass rap beat comes on.
Kaiba: Yo, I’m M.C. Kaiba and I’m here to say. Drink Nutrient Z and it’ll blow you away. It’s the illest drink. Even Blue Eyes likes it. It’s Kaiba in the house, reppin’ Z on the mic, bitch.
Announcer: Nutrient Z! Getting all up in your grill and making you ill!
Kaiba: Word. Kaibacorp, Bitches.
Commercial four- Two duelists are in the middle of a duel.
Duelist 1: Ha! That’s another 3000 life points! You’re goin’ down, bitch!
Duelist 2: Oh no, what do I do?
Suddenly, Kaiba bursts through the door on a Blue Eyes White Dragon.
Duelists: Seto Kaiba!?
Kaiba: That’s right, punks. It’s me, Kaiba. And I’m here to show you why you keep losing like a punk bitch every time you duel.
Duelist 2: It’s true! I suck.
Kaiba: Of course. Cause you’re not me. But I have something that’ll make you suck just a little less.
Duelist 2: What is it?
Kaiba: Nutrient Z, loser.
Duelists: Nutrient Z?
Kaiba: Drink one, dumbass.
Kaiba hands duelist 2 a bottle of Nutrient Z. He drinks it.
Duelist 2: I play Koumori Dragon!
Duelist 1’s Blue eyes destroys it. Duelist 2 loses.
Duelist 2: I still lost!
Kaiba: Yeah, cause your deck sucks. Nutrient Z can’t help that, loser.
Kaiba slaps duelist 2 upside the head.
Announcer: Nutrient Z! It can only help you, not your punk ass deck!
Commercial five- Yugi, Joey, and Tristan are sitting on a porch with bottle of Nutrient Z.
All: …
Joey: …
Yugi: …
Tristan: …
Announcer: Nutrient Z! Just Chillin’!
Joey: Who the hell was that?
Tristan: *shrugs*
Yugi: He’s the only one that gets paid.
Commercial six- A bunch of bigwigs are sitting in a meeting.
Bigwig 1: You guys, Kaibacorp just isn’t raking in the sales with this Nutrient Z thing.
Bigwig 2: Maybe we should do some sort of giveaway.
Bigwig 3: What did you have in mind?
Bigwig 2: I was thinking a free Blue eyes white dragon with every drink.
Bigwig 4: That’s stupid. Everyone in the world owns a blue eyes white dragon. And only the truly pathetic care about owning another. Hell, the last time I checked, no one even played the game anymore.
Bigwig 2: I’m not talking about the card. I mean a REAL Blue eyes. Could you picture that? Kids with a real Blue eyes?
They all begin to imagine a kid with a real Blue eyes white dragon.
Kid: I’ll love you forever, Blue eyes!
Blue eyes eats the kid.
Blue eyes: *burps*
The fantasy ends.
Bigwigs: … Nah.
Bigwig 1: How about a contest to win a date with Tea?
They all begin to imagine some kid holding hands with an overly busty version of Tea.
Kid: *laughing maniacally while staring at Tea’s titanic rack* Heheh… Heheh… Heheheh… *drools*
The fantasy ends.
Bigwigs: We have a winner.
Announcer: Nutrient Z! We care about the kids! *speaking really fast in a low voice* Kaibacorp is in no way responsible for any psychological damage caused to your children by excessive staring at Tea Gardner’s enormous pair of hooters. No children were eaten during the making of this commercial.
FIN