Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Contra Ipsum ❯ Contra Ipsum ( Chapter 1 )

Contra Ipsum (English: Against Himself)

Me: Yet another Yugi-angst fic by moi.

Yugi: Why do you keep torturing me?! *pouts*

Me: *huggles* because I love you!!!

Yami: Suuuure ya do...

Me: *glares* Shut up, Yami. You know perfectly well that I love Yugi.

Yami: So?

Me: *anime fall*

Yugi: You do love me?

Me: *melts into a puddle* OF COURSE I DO!!!!

Yugi: ^______^

Me: Okay, anyways.

Summary: Yugi has always been left behind and passed over. Everyone gravitates towards Yami: the "perfect Yugi". Tormented by thoughts of his imperfection and the image of his yami, Yugi makes a desperate decision that he hopes will make people love and notice him as well.

I seem to use similar themes in my angst stories...ah well.

Now, I'm sure that you're all going to think that Yugi's schizophrenic or something. But he isn't. Do we not all argue with ourselves? Isn't there always that one evil voice in the back of our minds, one we'd LOVE to just shut up? Well I'm bringing that into play.

WARNINGS: Slight intense themes, very dark. Some swearing.

I'm sure we've established the fact that I love and adore Yugi, so don't flame me saying 'how could you do that'. I get ideas, I write them down. The only person who I truly hate is Tea. Tristan, yeah, but not nearly as much.

This is also Yugi's perspective on things. There is a possibility that I may switch from one perspective to another, but that remains to be seen.

Enjoy! ^_^

/Yugi to Yami/ //Yami to Yugi// \Private thoughts\ ~Memory/Flashback~

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Yugi lay on his bed, listening to his yami and his former friends joke around downstairs. Their laughter rippled up the stairs, down the hallway and through Yugi's door to reach the ears of the small, spiky-haired teen. The door wasn't doing its job as a barricade against the happy sounds of those below.

The front door closed and the home/business was plunged into quiet. Tears slowly made their way down the small hikari's face as he listened to the silence. Blessed silence. Yet in that silence, thoughts were allowed to make themselves known in nasty ways.

\There you go again,\ a nasty voice in his mind mocked. \Crying like the pathetic weakling that you are.\

Yugi made an effort to stop his tears and managed to succeed, for the most part. \They left me again...they all gravitated towards Yami, just as always.\

\Of course they left. They always do. You still dare hope after all this time?!\

\Just a wish...\

\A wish,\ the 'voice' said scornfully, \listen to yourself. A wish. No wonder everyone passes over you.\

\Gee, thanks...\

\You wonder why they always leave you?!\ Was the angry reply. Yugi curled up in a ball at the harsh tone. \They leave you because you're weak! You're pathetic! Yami is perfect, Yami is so much better than you; why do you think everyone loves him?!\

Yugi curled up in a tighter ball, struggling not to cry, putting his arms on his head in a futile attempt to stop the voice. Trying to stop his own thoughts that were telling him nothing but the truth. "No...stop..." he whispered to the empty room, squeezing his eyes closed.

\Yami's strong. Yami's handsome. Yami doesn't look like he's in elementary school. His looks don't scream out "I'm a pathetic midget, please pick on me" like yours do. He's smart. Need I go on?!\

\No...no...\

The arms wrapped around his head tightened as they tried to block out the memories, the memories that only justified what his mind was telling him.

~ ­"You see?" Pegasus's voice mocked. "This is what happens to the weak." ~

~ "His mind was too young and feeble to withstand the pressure." ~

~ "Hey, Yugi, where's Yami?" ~

~ "You're nothing but a vessel for the pharaoh to take over, Yugi!" ~

~ "Oh Yami, you're so hot..." a girl sighed as she and her friends swarmed around the King of Games. ~

~ "Pathetic mortal," Yami Bakura sneered. ~

~ ­Yugi grunted in pain as yet another bully decided that they didn't like his looks. ~

~ "Dance with you?!" Yugi turned away as the scathing laughter met his ears. ~

~ "Hey! Yugi!" Yugi turned in time to see two boys run past him and up to his yami. "Yugi, can we have your autograph? Please?" Yami smiled and signed the notebooks held out to him. "You're so awesome, Yugi! Thanks a lot!" Yugi wished that the compliment had been meant for him. ~

~ Grandpa sighed as Yugi came close to dropping the plate he was drying. "Oh, Yugi, why can't you be more like your yami?" ~

Yugi didn't want to remember anymore, but they just kept coming, faster and faster, repeating over and over.

"Pathetic mortal."

"This is what happens to the weak."

"You're so hot, Yami!"

"Dance with you?!"

"Why can't you be more like your yami?"

"Pathetic."

"Weak"

"Who'd want to date Yugi?!"

"Why can't you be more like Yami?"

Yugi bolted off the bed and ran into the bathroom. Drinking a small cup of water, he tried to calm his breathing. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and turned away quickly. \Just spaced out for a moment...waking dream, that's all...\

He walked towards his desk, meaning to go online and play a game or two, when he stopped. Slowly, he opened his closet door, stepping in front of the full-length mirror on the other side.

Yugi stared at his reflection, a look of disgust on his face. \Look at me. I look like a baby who just ran a growth spurt. Yami's so thin; he has so much muscle. He has killer looks. Look at me. Fifth graders are taller than I am. My eyes are so big you'd think I was scared of everything; I'm nowhere near as thin as Yami.\

A mental image of his yami, tall, thin and muscular, took shape in his mind's eye. Yugi turned away from his reflection, closing the closet door.

"Why can't you be more like Yami?"

"Why can't I be more like him?" Yugi whispered. "I'm so...ugly."

Yugi looked out the window; he could just make out a small group of people in the distance, surrounding his yami, no doubt.

"Would you like me," he whispered, "Would you like me if I looked like Yami? Would you like me if I had Yami's voice? Would you notice me then?"

Yugi lay back down on his bed, curling up and clinging to one of his pillows.

\I'm so ugly...how can I be more like Yami? He has it all...and I've got nothing. Nothing.\

An idea came to him as he closed his eyes. His last waking thought was, \I'll go work out at the gym tomorrow. If I start doing that, I know I'll get somewhere.\

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Yugi: ...I'm not sure I like this.

Yami: me neither.

Me: *sniffs* you don't have to. 's MY fic.

Okay. Yeah, I'm really mean. And it gets worse. But, yet again, I love Yugi. So, yes, there will be a happy ending.

Yugi: *sighs in relief*

Me: No flames, please. I'd rather receive a civilized criticism than an outraged comment.

R&R! Be nice!