Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Devotion ❯ Violation ( Chapter 27 )

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Kaiba would have been trouble to Pegsy to keep.

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It was bad at first. I thought it was the worst that could exist, being trapped in freezing darkness all alone and knowing Mokuba was trapped too.

Then, after what felt like an eternity, Pegasus came out of the darkness. I tried to reach him, tried to fight him, was maddened… I couldn't move.

Gozaburo trained me to not show pain. But I screamed. I couldn't see anything happening, but, it felt like a vampire.

He forced his way into the very center of my being, not just my surface thoughts. I… could sort of feel him doing that during the duel, during my defeat.

My mind's self, my inner self, my soul… chained down and couldn't escape and cutting my wrists and my blood my strength my power going drip drip drip down into his waiting hands and I screamed.

And screamed.

Is this what rape feels like to the victim? Violation not of the body, but this is much worse.

My soul stolen, my mind violated, my very essence the property of my tormenter.

I can't even fight. If I move, more blood flows down down down and I become too weak…

And his taunting visage is before me, laughing and laughing at my futile rage and my eyes dim and he leaves, but the wounds are still open, not enough to send my unconscious, oh no, he wants me to suffer.

And every so often, as my soul lies huddled in the darkness, lost and alonealonealone I hear that mocking laughter.

And my rage keeps me from sliding to shock. Like with Gozaburo, it's the only thing keeping me together.

Forget sane. I know what I was during Death-T.

Hiring assassins for god's sake. I was psycho.

Yugi should have done a lot more than… drug me? Or were the monsters he showed me before, the breaking of my mind I felt, true?

Magic exists. It's in the blood of my mind, my soul: Pegasus wants it.

My company was just a sideshow, an excuse.

Mokuba was just a pawn. He is suffering because Pegasus wanted me.

And if Pegasus wants me, he must want Yugi even more. Yugi can actually do magic. I didn't even know I had it. That spirit Yugi was talking about, after he surrendered… he does it.

Millennium Eye, golden puzzle… Pegasus wants more and more power. And he laughs in my mind and says he'll get it.

And I scream in rage and pain and sorrow as he pulls through me to summon MY Blue-Eyes to destroy an opponent and gain his soul as well.

Not Yugi. I still have a chance.

Innocent little Yugi's the only one who would fight for me, for Mokuba. Despite everything we've done to him.

And Pegasus leaves and time passes, I don't know how much, and I feel another power.

Yugi?

And there's light, there's light to see, even if there's only a little, and I look and can't see the chains I can feel, and there's none of the blood that still pours out of me, into HIS hands.

And I see Yugi, and I scream and plead until I notice… Mokuba!

And his eyes look at me and he's not hurting like I am! He's worried about ME, the one who failed him yet again and I don't notice the pain anymore, it's just background.

My little brother is… not fine. But he hasn't drowned in madness as I can feel I am, he can move to push against the window that the power that is-and-isn't-Yugi-because-Yugi-is-here-and-confused had opened on his prison and I can see him and he's safe…

And little Yugi and his gramps are talking, the worthless old one who kept her from me! Hate!

But I don't care because Mokuba's here and he starts crying and I panic and try to act fine but he knows, he knows I hurt, he always knew, I lied to myself that he was innocent, that I protected him from knowing what I went through, and I've failed so many times…

I'm worthless. I deserve to be alone in the dark and break and why didn't Yugi leave me like I was, why didn't someone kill me for being evil like I am and caused Gozaburo's death when he was such a great man and chess champion and I heard Mokuba say that he thought, even Mokuba thought, that I cheated to beat him to make him adopt us and I didn't I didn't I didn't!

I won against Gozaburo but I lost to him more and no one believes I beat him fair even once!

And Oh God NO! NONONONONONOOOooooooo! MOKUBA!

I can't see him anymore and it's all dark again and stop it! Stop going away!

Thank God. He's staying.

And I can still see Mokuba, and he's scared, he was scared when I went away and he's so sorry and I want to reassure him and I'm so sorry but my lips move and I can't speak.

I'm deaf and dumb and trapped and help!

Stay! Not-Yugi, stay. Stay here because I can't leave my brother alone!

And now I can see him, like when we duel, but he's sad and he can't help and I plead and then he comes up with something and I want him to do whatever it is, I can't stay here alone, can't leave Mokuba alone…

And I feel a needle slip in my arm, but then it stops hurting, not like my wrists which still bleed and the power flows to the window and I start to go unconscious from blood loss but it's fine, it's fine.

I could be attacked more while I'm not aware but I don't have to suffer here, I don't have to know and Mokuba will know I'm with him, can't protect him but let him think I can like I've always tried to get him to think, let him relax and feel safe like I never can.

Pegasus.

Gozaburo.

Not-Yugi, who has left.

So many people I can't fight, who have gone after you because of me, so many who can hurt and break me.

But I can rest…

And one of the wounds on my wrists closes and I can hear Pegasus's mocking laughter in my ears.

And I'm awake. In a nightmare.

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Yes, Solomon rocks.

And you might want to read the earlier ch. for what is going on from Yami's view.