Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Evil Plots ❯ Evil Plots ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Not mine are the Bakurae.

AN: Gift-fic for Akemi's birthday.

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"I'm evil, you know," his yami informed him, sprawled out insubstantially over his head and watching him upside-down.

"Hmn," he said, and continued the pressing matter of drying his hair.

"Very evil," he said, and Ryou rolled his eyes.

"Of course you are."

"I could electrocute you with some water and your hairdryer," he said idly, kicking his feet.

"...how would you get the water?" They both knew that he had problems touching things when he was out and ghostlike. "And then what would you do for a host body if mine were dead?"

Yami no Bakura appeared to ponder this for several long moments. Ryou applied some deep leave-in conditioner to the ends of his hair and idly started humming.

"...I'm not going to electocute you," he announced, "It would be bad for our hair."

Ryou snorted. "Since when do you care about the state of our hair? Every time I wake up after you've gone joyriding I have to beat out snarls. And do you know how much money I've spent on detanglers alone? Detanglers are sold for children, yami, children!"

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his yami pouting. "I'm evil. I don't care about hair."

"Then why don't you electrocute me and get it over with?"

"...I'm tastefully evil."

"Of course you are. It's not like the Ring is gaudy or anything."

He was looking away, but he knew his yami was glaring at him. "Shut up, yadonushi, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course not. I'm only haunted by the damn thing. I swear it stalks me."

"...how can it stalk you if it doesn't have legs?"

He paused, deep in thought. "Magic."

He knew his yami was nodding in satisfaction, even though he was probably bonking his head on the floor. "Evil magic."

"You're not planning on dropping this 'evil' thing, are you?" he asked with a sigh.

"Maybe. Once I kill the pharaoh and plunge the world into Darkness."

"Then what will you do?"

"Take a nap."

"..."

"Destroying the world is hard work, you know."

He turned the heat on the hair dryer up a notch.

"And I'm old, I deserve a nap."

He turned it up again.

"Old evil needs its rest."

The setting he turned to next was the hottest and loudest the hairdryer could produce. It drowned out his yami's babbling.

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AN: :P

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