Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Lady of Dragons ❯ Kirby, Iron Chef Duelist ( Chapter 7 )

“Tell me what you eat, and I shall tell you what you are.”

 

- Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

 

CHAPTER SEVEN: KIRBY MORIMOTO

IRON CHEF DUELIST

Isis was in a very frustrated mood.  She had hoped for a quick meal at the restaurant before seeking a worthy challenger; now the poor girl was being swamped with duelists that she had no intention of dueling if she could help it. 

 

When she had put up with enough of the raving crowd, Isis finally faced them with an exasperated sigh.  “Okay," she said, one fist clenching, "I will accept a duel from just one of you for now... but I don't plan on taking you all on today, so don't bother forming a line.  Who is it going to be?” 

The first voice to reach her ears was not because the challenger responded the quickest; it was because his booming voice drowned out everyone else.  “I accept your challenge little lady; it would be an honor and a privilege to duel you!”

 

Parting the crowd, a modestly overfed man, who looked way too old to be participating in this tournament for Isis's taste, stepped forward, duel disk ready.  “The name is Kirby Morimoto!" he said, holding up his deck.  "I'm the owner of the little place you just walked away from without paying your bill.  However, if you win, your meal is on the house."  He then grinned.  "You better choose me as your opponent, girl.  I can always get some law enforcement up here for you.” 

Isis at this point was internally ticked off.  This crowd had all but forced her out into the street.  “All right, mister, how many cards are you putting up?” 

Mister Morimoto just let out a hearty laugh before presenting a single card.  “Just one, miss, and I assume you will be doing the same.” 

Isis sighed into her palm.  Why was this guy even worth her time?  Answer: locator card almost free when she clobbered this guy in a duel.  “Fine,” Isis responded, “One it is, and I'll even let you have the first move.” 

“Fine by me!” the heavy chef said as he drew an opening hand and his Duel Disk roared to life. 

 

As tradition required, both players began with a simultaneous “Let's duel!”

I-8000 K-8000

0000000

Shadi had ventured into the minds of many people before, and he had seen many similar to Kaiba's before.  The door was marked with a brass nameplate fixed to the door.  Shadi didn't even bother to check the door until he heard an audible click of an opening lock, compliments of the Millennium Key, whereupon he slowly turned the knob. 

Shadi surprised both Kaiba's spirit and himself at what he saw.  The inhabitant of the soul room seemed to be fixing the position of a rug in front of a large mahogany desk; once he noticed Shadi, it only took about two seconds for Kaiba to charge.  “I don't know who you are or what you are doing here, but get out of my mind!”

Shadi didn't need to bat an eyelash as the ancient artifact around his neck shimmered, not only sending Kaiba's self-conscious across the room, but sticking him to the wall like the mother of all static clings.  A slight magical aura held Kaiba in place as Shadi began his investigation.

The objects around the room were about what Shadi had expected, but he examined each of the artifacts closely.  “A box of action figures, all unopened.  They are a symbol of the childhood that you never received."  Picking up a small piece of stone, the spirit continued, “And here: a shattered statue of Gozaburo Kaiba.  That statue cast a shadow over this room for many years, did it not?” 

 

Kaiba struggled against Shadi's magic, but kept silent to his inquiries.  Shadi actually cracked a smile, knowing that his binding magic had prevented Kaiba from letting out any comments that might hinder his search. 

 

Shadi's work was silent, as he now inspected the pictures framed on the wood desk.  The spirit looked discouraged; he had hoped to find some way of reaching Kaiba about his past, but he had found nothing, and so he set the soul room's occupant on the ground. 

Once free, Kaiba quickly pounced on the guardian, although Shadi quickly dodged.  “You have some nerve snooping around in here," he hissed, "but as you can see, I have nothing to hide.” 

Shadi made a sharp turn, catching his feet on the rug.  “That was what I was afraid of," he said, sighing.  "It would be better to find a soul in denial about his connection to the ancient past, than a soul who disregards it entirely.  You have no idea how important you are, Seto Kaiba.  You may be condemning all that you hold dear by not taking part in this mission.  I truly pity you, Seto Kaiba, and if you wish for a savior in the near future, you may seek one elsewhere.” 

Turning to the door, Shadi felt the tip of his sandal clonk against a slight rise in the floor.  Curious, he bent down and pushed the rug aside. 

 

“Leave that alone!” Kaiba cried, in a desperate attempt to stop him, but he stopped as he saw the damage had already been done. 

Shadi stared into Kaiba's eyes as he removed the contents of a hidden trap door.  “You realize, of course, that the incantations contained within these papyrus scrolls are older then five millennia."  He paused, unfurling one of the scrolls and pointing to a passage.   “These hieroglyphics depict you as a great Egyptian sorcerer and wielder of shadow magic.”

Kaiba scoffed at the man's words.  “So what of it?” 

“Open your eyes, man!” Shadi shouted with rage, rising to his feet.  “Must you have the answer written on a gold plaque?  You possess the power of the Millennium Items, Seto Kaiba, and whether you accept it or not is none of my concern.  But I will say this: you will need the support of the other chosen ones if you are to protect your family against Seskera.  Remember this visit, Seto Kaiba, because if you continue to ignore the cries for your aid, there will be another.” 

With a slowly spreading flash of light, Shadi disappeared, leaving Kaiba to regain consciousness on the floor, wondering if it was all a dream.

0000000

Back at the restaurant, Kirby was taking his time in devising a strategy, but finally found the combo he wanted for his opening move.  “I begin by setting two trap cards, and playing a monster in defense mode.  Your turn, little lady.” 

Isis had a knack for seeing things most duelists would miss, but she was appalled at her opponent disclosing the fact that his cards were traps.  She now thoroughly hated this man, and decided she'd be proud to knock him out of the tournament.  “Get ready," she said, "because I play Pot of Greed!” 

Mr. Morimoto quickly triggered a button on the rim of his Duel Disk in response.  “Thank you for allowing me to activate my Appropriate card.  Once triggered, this trap allows me to draw two cards whenever you draw any extra cards.”  A small wooden stand floated out of the holographic trap, with a large sack marked with an “A” and full of gold coins on top of it.

Isis didn't know the relevance of her opponent's trap, but she wasn't going to give herself a chance to find out.  Regaining her composure, she went back to her play.  “Now I activate the field card, Luminous Spark, giving each and every monster I own five hundred more attack points. This includes my next one, Gradius.”  (1700/400)

 

The futuristic jet thundered to the front line of battle, as the air behind Isis grew too bright to focus on. 

 

“Then I special summon the Gradius's Option," she continued, "which not only gains the powered-up stats of my Gradius, but, being a Light monster itself, gains another boost from my Luminous Spark field.”  (2200/0)

 

The smaller ship descended behind its original, glowing with an inner fire.

“Option,” Isis commanded with a dramatic point of her finger, “attack the hidden monster!” 

 

The ship, with its meteor-like glow at a fever pitch, smashed into the holographic card full force, revealing a green warrior for a brief moment before splattering the monster across the field. (1400/1300) 

 

Isis gawked in amused disbelief.  “A Bean Soldier card? How did you even qualify for this tournament anyway?” she asked.

Kirby gaped in fury.  “For your information, young lady, I got this disk fair and square... by picking it up when a duelist forgot it in my restaurant,” the cook admitted. 

Isis's eyes burned with a fury now.  Aside from being claustrophobic, her biggest pet peeve was a poor duelist pretending to be a challenge, and thus wasting her time.  Not responding, the girl ruthlessly ordered another assault.  “Gradius, direct attack!” she ordered. 

 

The ship's lasers caught her opponent in the arm and wiped away a chunk of his score.

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Kirby took the loss into consideration, keeping his composure as his hand now held four cards.  Looking at the draw, he wasted no time in replacing his fallen monster.  “I summon the Bistro Butcher, little lady!” (1800/1000) 

 

A fiendish chef in a bloodstained outfit, carrying a butcher knife and a meat hook, was not the most frightening monster Isis had ever seen, but in Duel Monsters, looks are never a factor. 

 

The large cook also flipped the switch to reveal his other trap as he summoned his monster, saying, “Now watch as I chain my monster's summoning with the Pineapple Blast trap card, forcing you to destroy monsters you have until you have the same number as me!”

Isis quickly threw her opponent a dirty glance as the hovering bomb over the field fell on top of her Option card, exploding into a mess of fruity pulp. 

Kirby was smiling as he pulled another card from his hand.  “I also use Stim-Pack, an equip card that raises the attack power of my Butcher by 700 points,” he announced. 

 

A green vial dropped and shattered over the monster, causing its muscles to bulge and neon green blood vessel like patterns to emerge from the mutating skin. 

 

“Now, Bistro Butcher, attack my opponent's Gradius with Meat Hook Slash!” Kirby ordered.

 

Had the attacked monster been made of flesh and blood, the effect would have been quite grotesque.  The spaceship's wiring and circuitry fell to the ground before the ship itself burst into flames.

I-7200 K-6300

The dueling chef took the time to address his monster's special ability: “Whenever my Butcher does damage to your Life Points, you get to draw two cards, so consider yourself lucky.  However, with my Appropriate trap in play, I draw two cards as well!”  The bag leapt open and flipped two coins into the draw pile on Morimoto's duel disk.

As her turn began, Isis studied her hand, which was now up to seven.  Several options were now available.  “All right," she opened, "I use the two monsters in my graveyard to summon the Soul of Purity and Light, (2500/1400) and I set a monster and one card facedown to end my turn.” 

 

The respective cards took their shape on the field, with the spirits of the two destroyed ships intertwining to form the powerful new fairy. 

Kirby was in no way intimidated by this, as he drew up to five, and seemed pleased with himself.  “To prevent you from tripping a trap, miss, I'll use the card Cold Wave, freezing your facedown card for one turn, but keeping it fresh for later use!” 

 

The harsh wind swiftly crossed the field.  Isis braced herself as even the holographic gust chilled her to the bone, also encasing her card in a thin prison of ice. 

 

“Now,” the chef continued, “with an attack power of 2500, my butcher can tie your Soul.  I'll choose to destroy him now, before he outlives his usefulness.  Butcher, Meat Hook Slash!” 

Kirby failed to notice the faint glow surrounding his demon chef until it was too late.  The targeted Soul of Purity and Light opened its eyes with a start.

 

Then, with the fairy doing nothing whatsoever, the poisoned cook dropped to the floor in pain and shattered. 

Kirby gnashed his teeth and shot a cold-blooded stare at his female opponent.  “I don't know what you did, but you cheated, little lady!  No trap could have been activated because of my Cold Wave, and our monsters had an equal attack power!” 

By this point, however, Isis had had enough.  “I have a name, you half-baked buffoon," she said as her eyes bored into Kirby.  “That name is Isis Kaiba, and I will personally see that you do not forget it if you call me young lady one more time.  Second of all, the Soul of Purity and Light reduces your monster's attack power by 300 points on my opponent's turn. And third of all, your Stim-Pack card weakens your monster by 200 attack points every turn it is in play, so even without the effect of my Soul, your monster was only destroying itself. Now what can you say to that, Mr. Morimoto?” 

As it turned out, he didn't have anything to say, so the large chef simply blew Isis a raspberry across the field. 

I-7200 K-5800 

Grunting after that, Kirby declared, “I still have a monster to set on the defense, so make another move if you please.” 

“Glad to,” Isis responded, while drawing a fifth card.  “I summon the Kaiser Seahorse in attack mode (1700/1650), and I think I'll leave my other monster hidden at the moment while I attack your last monster.” 

 

The large fish-man impaled the hidden card, only to run smack dab into a Mystic Tomato. (1400/1100)

Kirby grinned as he shuffled his deck, summoning a mechanical monster that looked like a Rubix Cube from Hell. (1000/1300) Different parts of the cube were twisting at random intervals, a different blade attached to each segment. “I hope you enjoy my `Yaiba Robo'!  This monster is a living food processor, but you won't have to put up with it for long, because it's my turn.” 

“Not yet,” Isis interrupted, “I've changed my mind, so I switch my hidden Thunder Nyan Nyan to attack mode.” 

 

A wild-looking girl with a tiger suit and a drum set raised the drumsticks above her head in a threatening pose. (2400/500)

Kirby drew his hand back to five.  “I use Pot of Greed to gather more ingredients needed for my victory.” 

“Yeah,” Isis shot back, “humble pie!”

 

Kirby, however, ignored her, and began to laugh in that victorious way that all of us are familiar with.  “Laugh all you want, little…” He took note of her death glare and resumed, “Isis... I've drawn a card to trample your little thunder girl right into the dust.  I play the Hamburger Recipe ritual card!” 

An enormous barbecue and an equally intimidating chef quickly rose to loom over the field.  Taking a monster from his hand, Kirby sacrificed what Isis recognized to be Pumpking the King of Ghosts. The weaker monster appeared on the grill just long enough for the large cook to slice it horizontally with his spatula.  The slices were stacked like a deck of cards, before being engulfed in a jet of fire.  When the blaze cooled, only a large grinning sandwich was left to verify that the process had ever even taken place. (2000/1850)

Kirby was now grinning from ear to ear as he introduced the new monstrosity before them.  “Meet the large and powerful Hungry Burger!” 

Isis broke from her shock and horror and began to double over laughing.  “That's your best monster? I swear, you would be better off trying to beat me with a Dancing Elf deck.  That overdone cow patty is going to be a cow pie when I get through with it!” 

Kirby shook off the insult as he played yet another card.  “I also tribute my weaker Yaiba Robo to summon the Battle Steer!”

 

The now familiar process of the monster shattering and reassembling took place once more, this time revealing a humanoid bovine with a spear and armor.  (1800/1300) 

 

“And don't think that I will overlook your Soul of Purity and Light a second time," he continued.  "My facedown Offerings to the Doomed will take care of that.” 

The holographic projectors aided in creating a large golden chalice under the floating fairy.  Isis looked on in horror and wonder at the same time as her monster began to slowly liquefy, forming thick, red syrup, which the goblet caught easily.  A golden cover dropped over the cup, which now vanished in a swirling puff of smoke. 

Isis thought it only fair to give her opponent proper warning.  “Nice try," she said, "but my Light monsters are still on their home turf, gaining five hundred attack points in the process.” 

Kirby let out an arrogant tff noise.  “Oh, I'm not worried about that.  The fruit of my monster's labor is sure to pay off with this card, Gaia Power, giving the power boost not to Light monsters, but to Earth ones... my Battle Steer included!”

The shining light behind Isis faded into nothingness, as a gargantuan tree took root behind Mr. Morimoto.  The Battle Steer roared as its power rose. (2300/900)

“Now you will learn not to make me mad," the cook said.  "Burger, attack Thunder Nyan Nyan - and Steer, crush the seahorse!” 

 

The drummer simply vanished into the gaping jaws of the sandwich, while the Kaiser's spear was split in two before the monster burst into dust. 

 

“Well done,” Kirby commented, as the attacks left Isis defenseless.

I-6500 K-6000

Isis was trying to think of a way to take those monsters out.  Nothing in her hand had an attack power high enough without her field card to give them a boost, but as she drew her hand back up to five cards, a plan formed. 

 

“Answer me a question," she asked Kirby.  "Did you really think that you would win when you challenged me to this duel?  Because I've seen better strategies from a dueling monkey.” 

Kirby didn't seem at all impressed.  He still had control of the field.  However, he couldn't help but wonder what that little girl was up to. 

Isis provided the answer by slipping a magic card into her duel disk.  “I activate Monster Reborn to bring back my Thunder Nyan Nyan to the field, and I use the power of the Shine Castle to make her even stronger.”

 

The moment the fairy emerged from the shining surface of the holographic magic card, she was pulled into standing on the highest tower of the luminous fortress.  (2600/900)

 

Isis continued, “Now, let's see who's at the top of the food chain.  Thunder Nyan Nyan, Thunder Crash attack!”

Boosted by the power of the Shine Castle, the monster raised her drumsticks over her head, charging them with cool blue electricity.  She then swung her arms down, striking the drums and causing the aftershock to electrify the waiting Hungry Burger.

I-6500 K-5300

“Well done,” Isis complemented her monster, chuckling as she made sure to convey to her opponent that she was mocking him. 

At this point, Kirby was becoming more than nervous, but attempted to at least look like he had a plan.  “Clever girl.  But I still have a monster, and some time to turn the tables on you.” 

Isis didn't even pretend to be scared: “Please, don't you remember that using Offerings to the Doomed skipped your draw phase?  You don't have a card to play.  Luckily, I have no such trouble.” 

Kirby cringed as he switched his Battle Steer to defense mode and left it to Isis's mercy. 

Isis drew a new card to begin her turn and prepared the onslaught.  “OK, first I summon another Gradius monster to the field, equipping it with the Cyclon Laser magic card,” she began.  (1500/800)

 

With the colorful weapon system now in effect, Kirby knew that his life points were no longer safe. 

 

That was a fact that Isis also knew quite well.  “Thanks for switching that thing into defense mode for me,” Isis stated. “It makes it take more damage from my Gradius's attack!” 

Without needing any more encouragement, the spacecraft opened fire, leaving only a patch of dirt and a pile of dust where the Battle Steer once stood.   

I-6500 K-4400

Isis followed that up with a direct attack from her Thunder Nyan Nyan, leaving her opponent to do nothing but cringe from the impact of the shock.

I-6500 K-1800

Kirby brought his head up to look Isis straight in the eyes with a look of determination, but also with a spark of knowledge that defeat was just around the corner. 

“And I play my final card,” Isis finished.  “The Graceful Charity card gives me an option for next turn; it also gives you a couple cards to use with your Appropriate trap, so make them good!” 

Kirby inspected his new gifts before the holographic coins had even leapt from the bag, along with a third for his draw phase, and grinned. 

 

Isis may only have been nine years old, but she had enough experience to know that when your opponent grins in a game of Duel Monsters, it usually means nothing good.

“I think it's time to slash my prices of summoning,” Kirby noted as he played a magic card from his hand.  “And my Cost Down should be just the way to do it!”  The chef deposited a Ghoul with an Appetite (1600/1200) to the graveyard while twin swords appeared on either side of him, each skewering a star symbol.  “And then I think I'll use my Snatch Steal to take control of your Thunder Nyan Nyan. She'll make such delicious sacrifice bait...” 

Two ugly bluish arms came up from beneath the ground, enclosing the lightning drummer in a large burlap bag.  The arms dragged the monster under Kirby's control, and opened the bag just enough for an attack, but not enough to let her escape to its master.

Sacrifice bait, Isis thought to herself, so that's what he's up to.

Kirby was grinning with pride as he drew the final card in his hand.  “Now you can meet my strongest monster, with a defense so strong, you won't be able to scratch it!”  The monsters were already beginning to break apart, reassembling into something that Isis couldn't quite place.  “I bring out the Ryu-Ran in attack mode.  Whoever said that it was bad to be an egghead?” (2200/2600) 

At first all Isis could see was an egg.  But that was before the cracks split apart, revealing the coldest red eyes that Isis had ever seen.  Wings and legs emerged soon after, with thin puffs of smoke coming from the cracks. 

“Now my `Ryu-Ran'," Kirby commanded, "wipe out her `Gradius' with a fire-stream attack!” 

 

The eye slit for the monster flickered into a crimson shine.  Embers were dancing within, just before the scarlet battering ram of swirling flames aimed to incinerate the powerless spacecraft. 

Isis gritted her teeth before waiting to flip over her nearly forgotten trap card.  “Sorry, Mr. Morimoto, but there is not going to be a barbeque today!  Activate Mirror Force!”

 

The stream of smoldering hot flames seemed to stop as if it had run into a brick wall.  It took everyone a while to notice that the blaze was actually curving.  First into a circle, then into an octagon, the fire was moving as if inside of a whirlpool. 

“It figures that you would be done in by a mirror," Isis began.  "Take a good long look in one, and realize what a joke of a duelist you are.  Go find a two-year-old to play with and stop wasting my time!” 

At that moment, the octagon shape shattered, dispersing the fire around it.  Sharp pieces ground away at the dragon's shell, and soon cracked through it.  The thick eggshell splintered and blew apart as the monster faded out of existence.

"And now,” Isis declared as she drew her card, “at least feel the pleasure of being trounced by a real duelist, as I summon the Gradius's Option to copy my Gradius on the field.”  (1500/800)

 

But the spaceship and its new mate were not there for long.  “Now I tribute these monsters to summon my Wingweaver,” Isis continued

Never before had a hologram looked so beautiful.  The kind, angelic fairy swooped down from the bright sky, wings shining with the colors of the rainbow.  (2750/2400) 

“Now, Wingweaver,” Isis declared, “finish off my opponent with a direct attack on his Life Points!” 

The monster focused her six wings to catch the sun, shooting a blinding prism of color and light into the chef's eyes.  The large man fell backwards onto his butt, and accepted his loss. 

I-6500 K-0000

Kirby was at a loss for words as he presented his deck to give Isis her choice of his cards.

“Don't bother,” she responded with irritation in her voice.  “You have nothing that would even remotely help me out.  Just hand over the locator card and get out of my sight.” 

Kirby quickly obeyed and scrambled to get as far away from this girl as he could possibly get.

Isis simply turned with an arrogant sweep of her hair and strolled back into the restaurant where all of this had started in the first place.  “Alright,” she shouted, completely exhausted, “where is my cheeseburger?”

0000000

Seskera slunk back into the shadows and quickly made more mental notes.  This was one that he had to worry about.  If she could get out any of her combos, even he was not guaranteed victory.  And not to be underestimated was the fact that not only the Blue Eyes were at her disposal, but the Ultimate Dragon as well. 

The only way to do this... is to make sure that none of those cards get a chance to be played, he summarized to himself.  Still, she was more of a challenge than he would have liked. 

Sighing, Seskera took a random card from his belt pouch, and chanted the phrase he had long since memorized, watching a Witty Phantom shred while the face of a dark-haired young man with glasses vanished into the smoke.  Another one gone, he thought.  Let's hope that Odion is doing his job. 

While heading back to his hideout, Seskera ran his fingers along the long burn mark running down his shoulder, the one caused by lightning.

0000000

Meanwhile, Marik answered a knocking at his room door, letting in a panting Kaiba. 

 

“Here!” Kaiba commanded.  It was obvious that he didn't plan to stay long. 

Marik looked at the item in Kaiba's hand, and it took his breath away.  It looked like any other piece of cardstock, but this one was anything but ordinary. 

Marik reached out and plucked the Winged Dragon of Ra from Kaiba's grasp. 

“Slifer is back with Yugi as well,” Kaiba responded to Marik's suspicious stare.  “As much as I don't believe in that Millennium mumbo jumbo, when my family is involved, it's better to be safe then sorry.”  Kaiba turned to leave as quickly as he had come. 

Marik couldn't help but feel a tingle through his Millennium Rod as Kaiba left, but Bakura running into the room knocked that fact from his mind. 

 

“Marik, the hotel has received a fax from the site back home.  I have no doubt in my mind that you will want to see this,” the younger man said, holding up a piece of paper.

Snatching the paper away from his partner, Marik turned pale as he read it.  “Odion,” he murmured, “what have you done?” 

Bakura could only gaze at his roommate and wonder how dangerous the situation had become... for all of them.

Coming next chapter: Peter is still recovering from the events of his last duel.  Soon enough, however, he finds himself dueling once again, although the stakes aren't quite so high this time.  Can anything bring Joey's boy back to his old self?  Find out in Chapter Eight: "Dante, the Hottest Man Alive".