Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Like A Pack Of... What? ❯ Day 2: Dice and A Game ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. I don't even own Nixxus Gene Lexus, Roman Jacob Lexus Jr., or Alexandrian James Lexus, as they belong to my dear friend Seto-chan (who now has an account on here! Is it rude to ask you all to go check out the one story she has posted? Her penname is Seto-chanluvj-kun.) And nor do I own American cheese. Or 'Whose Line is it Anyway'. Or Burger King for that matter.

Warnings: Shonen ai, that means boyxboy, folks. Some cursing. And OOC-ness, which is abundant because it's what makes this story so funny. I try to make them in-character as much as I can, but I usually wind up failing. Ah well, the OOC-ness is supposed to be there, everyone. Don't like it, don't read. If you like it or find it amusing or both, read on and enjoy the insanity!

-O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-- O-F-F--L-I-K-E--A--P-A-C-K--O-F--...--W-H-A-T-?-

Log of the Road Trip

Day 2

After the theatrics yesterday, we all voted to have someone other than Kaiba drive. And that was just this morning after Bakura and Mariku started a food fight in the hotel cafeteria and got us all kicked out.

That’s not all that has happened though. Last night I couldn’t get to sleep because of Taylor’s snoring, Wheeler and Kaiba’s yelling, and things going bump in the night from the room the psycho’s are in.

The one good thing that happened is that Taylor sleepwalks and apparently he walked right out of the hotel! We haven’t been able to find him and that was after we sent Bakura and Mariku after him. Of course, I wouldn’t want to be found either if those two were looking for me.

So now the others are loading up the van. Or more accurately, the yami’s and Ishtar are being put to work. Kaiba’s leaning against the van, Ryou and Yugi are making sure their yami’s stay under control, and Lexus, Mokuba, and my darling Serenity are already in the van with me.

I can’t help but wonder how this day will go. What surprised are going to be in store for us? Nothing too violent, I hope.

-D. Devlin

And so they set out once again. The seating arrangements are different and everyone is quiet, even Bakura and Mariku. Up front Duke is driving with Serenity in the passenger seat. Behind them are Joey, Seto, Mokuba, and Nixx and behind those four are Yami, Yugi, Malik, and Ryou. In the very back with the luggage are Bakura and Mariku.

For the first half hour, the van remains silent. And then Duke decides that it’s too quiet and so he turns on the radio. After fiddling with it for a few minutes, and nearly running off the road and crashing into other vehicles in the process, he finds nothing to his liking.

“Hey, Bakura! Look in my bag and toss my CD case up here!” Duke yells.

Bakura does so, having nothing better to do and figuring he can cause some destruction in the process. He smirks when he locates the hard case that contains all of Duke’s CD’s. “Hey, Devlin! Catch!” And with that he throws the CD case up at Duke. Literally.

The heavy plastic collides with a loud ‘thunk!’ on Duke’s head, making the black-haired boy see spots for a few minutes, run off the road and hit a mailbox, nearly hit two people walking on the side of the road, and curse loudly.

“Stop cursing in front of my sister, Devlin!” Joey yells.

Meanwhile Nixx has rolled down the window and is looking at the two passersby that they nearly hit. “We almost hit my brothers! Darn it! Why couldn’t you have hit them?!”

Bakura crosses his arms over his chest. “If it were me driving-”

“We’d all be dead.” Yami mutters.

“I heard that, pharaoh!” Bakura growls.

“I meant you to, idiot tomb robber.”

“Bastard!”

“Horrible plotter!”

“Goody-goody!”

“Maniaca l idiot!”

“Cat hater!”

Yami gasps. “You take that back!”

Bakura smirks. “No. I don’t want to.”

“TAKE IT BACK!” Yami yells, jumping into the back of the van.

“STOP THE VAN!!!” Seto roars, fed up with the crazy people he’s stuck with in said van.

Duke slams on the brakes which makes the car screech to a halt and nearly run off the road. The acrid smell of burning rubber fills the air and the van runs over something with an audible ‘bump’.

“Alright, who cut the cheese!” Mariku yells.

Yugi looks up from the block of American cheese that he’s cutting. “Oh, sorry. Do you want some?”

“Yes!” Mariku yells. “Gimme the cheese, starfish boy!”

Malik hits Mariku in the head. “Shut up or you get no cheese!”

Ignoring the strange people in the back of the van, Duke gets out to check and see what it was that he hit and finds that there’s a pair of dice laying in the middle of the road. He gasps dramatically and scoops up the cracked objects, cradling them against his cheek. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’ll never ever hurt you ever again! I’m going to take you home with me and love you and cuddle you and-”

“Hey dice-boy! Get back in the van!” Bakura yells.

After sobbing over the dice for a few more minutes, Duke makes his way back to the van and gets back in the driver’s seat. Before he has a chance to start up the car, Nixx’s older brothers, Roman and Alexandrian, jump in front of the van. Well, Roman jumps and Alexandrian just sort of follows slowly.

Anyway, it’s because the fraternal twins are standing in front of the van that they can’t really go anywhere. Although if it were Bakura or Mariku (or maybe Nixx) driving, then it’d be a different story. But alas, ‘tis Duke who is driving and although he’s a horrible driver, he’s also a good guy and it wouldn’t be a very ‘good guy’ thing to do if he were to run over the two boys. That and he just doesn’t want to sit through another of Tea’s friendship speeches. Pegasus isn’t even that bad! He’s just a little mentally unstable, that’s all. And besides, Duke finds him amusing.

“Floor it! Floor it!” Nixx yells from the back. “Don’t let them in! Don’t let them see me!”

“Nixx, I think it might be a little too late for that.” Yugi points out.

Roman strolls over to Duke’s window, an evil smirk on his face. “I have one thing to tell you all if Nixx is going to go with you. Give him hell for me. And if you need any incentive,” He holds out a hand toward his twin.

Alexandrian sighs and mutters something about having insane brothers before handing over a large manila envelope that’s about three inches thick.

“Here’s a file containing all the things Nixx has said, done, thought about doing, written down, and failed to follow through with that deals with everyone in the van except Mokuba.” Roman finishes, handing over the manila envelope to Duke. “And there’s also some blackmail in there. Use it wisely!”

And with that, they’re back on the road traveling about fifteen mph over the legal speed limit. It’s not bad compared to Kaiba driving fifteen mph over the more than highly illegal speed limit. So nobody complains.

That is, until Duke pops in one of his rock CD’s and cranks up the music. Then the complaints start. Or complaint, more like.

“This is wussy shit, Devlin!” Bakura yells. “Why don’t you put in the good shit!”

Ryou sighs. “Bakura, the music you listen too will most likely break the speakers, blow something up, or make us go deaf or insane or both. The music you listen to; it’s not normal!”

Bakura pouts and begins sulking and trying to think up a way to get to listen to his music.

Since it’s Duke driving instead of Seto, they’re all able to talk freely without getting risked yelled at to shut up. And also, all of Seto’s rules are now null and void. As it is, Nixx and Mokuba are giggling over nothing, Joey’s annoying Seto who’s trying his best not to react, Yami and Yugi are cuddling, Bakura’s still sulking and plotting, Mariku’s whispering things into Malik’s ear, Ryou’s reading a book, and Serenity and Duke are happily talking up front about things they can all do at the mall.

“I’ve got an idea!” Mokuba suddenly shouts.

Seto immediately groans. Those four words are also words he has learned to fear and hate. Especially when it’s his brother who says them. Usually those four little words are followed by chaos of some sort. Just like this road trip.

“What’s your idea?” Joey asks. He has given up trying to annoy the emotionless person he’s sitting beside, designating it to be a lost cause.

“Have you guys ever heard of ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway’?” Mokuba asks.

Seto begins looking around for something hard to hit his head against. Amazing that he hasn’t lost those much needed brain cells that keep him sane and able to run a company. Even more amazing is that he hasn’t gotten a concussion. Yet.

“That’s show’s awesome!” Joey exclaims.

Never mind how the heck they’re watching an American show in Japan.

Mokuba grins. “Great! We’re going to play ‘Whose Line: Road Trip version’. I made it up.” He says cheerfully.

The others, with the exception of Nixx, sweat drop.

Duke turns down the music as Mokuba whispers something to him and hands him a burnt CD. Within minutes they’re going only five mph above the speed limit.

“Hello everyone and welcome to ‘Whose Line: Road Trip Version’!” Sometime during those few minutes Mokuba acquired a pink hair brush. Nixx’s pink hair brush, to be exact. “I’m your host, Mokuba Kaiba! Here with me today I have ‘I’m gonna rule to world’ Mariku! ‘I’m not a dog’ Joey Wheeler! ‘I will send your pathetic mortal soul to the Shadow Realm’ Bakura! And ‘I refuse to show any emotions’, my big brother Seto Kaiba!” He grins when he receives a glare from said brother. “So this is ‘Whose Line: Road Trip Version’; the game where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter! That’s right, they don’t matter. Just like any products Yami and Yugi use to try and tame their hair.”

Yugi giggles and Yami rolls his eyes.

Mokuba continues. “Our first game is going to be…” He tries to think of the name. “Erm… the limited sentences one. Anyway. Bakura, Mariku, and Joey are aliens trying to find a place to land on Earth. Bakura, you’re the leader.”

“Yes!” Bakura says.

“What have you done.” Ryou says. “You’re going to give him strange ideas!”

Mokuba ignores the white-haired hikari. “Yeah, so Bakura’s the leader and Mariku and Joey are the only other crew members on the spaceship. Mariku, the only thing’s you can say are ‘I’m gonna rule the world!’ and ‘Can I blow something up?’. Joey, the only thing’s you can say are ‘Can I touch that?’ and ‘Look! A donut!’.”

Joey grumbles something under his breath.

“Alright, begin whenever you want!” Mokuba says cheerfully.

Bakura smirks. “What a fine day it is! Now we just have to find a planet to land on and see what strange life forms live on it.”

“I’m gonna rule the world!” Mariku cackles.

Bakura glares at him. “No you’re not! I am because I am the leader here!”

“Can I touch that?” Joey asks, pointing to the seat.

“No you can’t touch that!” Bakura yells. “Now listen-”

“Look! A donut!” Joey picks up the imaginary donut and takes a bite.

“Right. Anyway-”

“Can I blow something up?” Mariku asks, peering out a window.

Bakura rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure.”

Mariku begins making noises of explosion.

“What I’m trying to say is that whatever you do you should never push this button.” Bakura points to an imaginary button.

“Can I touch that?” Joey asks, pointing to the imaginary button.

“I just said not to touch it!” Bakura roars.

“I’m gonna rule the world!”

A buzzer sounds from the stereo system.

“That was great!” Mokuba laughs. “Alright, now for our next game: scenes from a hat!” He holds up an old cowboy hat that Seto vaguely recognizes from some party or another that Mokuba got him drunk during.

“While you all were doing the last scene, I passed this hat around along with some sticky notes and have everyone else write down interesting scene ideas. Then me and Nixx went through them and took out all the bad ones and threw them out the window.” Mokuba says. “So here we go. And just so you know, this is a game for all four of you and you have to do at least four of the scenes.” He adds, giving his brother a look. “Anyway, the first one is,” He takes one of the sticky notes out of the hat and reads it. “‘Things Bakura would never say’.”

Mariku smirks. “I love my cuddly Ryou-kins!”

Bakura glares at him while Ryou blushes and sinks down in his seat.

Joey grins. “I want a donut!”

Seto crosses his arms over his chest and then smirks. “I hate sending people to the ‘Shadow Realm’.”

“I love the pharaoh!” Mariku laughs.

“Yeah, he’d definitely never say that.” Yami says with a chuckle.

“Next one!” Mokuba says quickly. He reaches back in the hat and pulls out the next scene and reads it giggling when he’s done. “‘What Joey’s thinking right now’.”

Joey grins. “Man, I really want a donut.”

The others laugh.

Mariku grins evilly, his mind still locked into his ‘plotting’ mode. “Damn, Kaiba looks hot right now.”

Joey blushes and looks away while Seto glares at Mariku. The others hide amused grins and smiles.

“At least he kept it PG-13 for once.” Malik says.

Bakura smirks, having heard that comments. “Damn, Kaiba looks fuckable right now.”

Ryou groans. “But mine didn’t… I can’t believe- actually, yes I can believe him. He’s Bakura. He does evil things. It requires no explanation.” He sighs. “What god did I accidentally piss off?”

“That’s enough of that scene!” Mokuba says loudly. He reaches back into the hat and pulls out another sticky note. He reads it and blushes before crumpling it up and tossing it at Nixx’s head. “Maybe later.” He tells him. Then Mokuba reaches back into the hat and gets another sticky note. “This should be good! ‘If Kaiba (older) were to dye his hair, what color would he dye it’.”

Joey grins and mimics brushing his hair. “Hmm… I think I’ll dye my hair green today.” (1)

Mokuba bursts out laughing while Seto turns red and looks out the window, determined not to think about that one unfortunate incident.

While the others look between the two in confusion, a look of amusement crosses Joey’s face.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Hey Mokuba, tell me you’ve got pictures.”

Mokuba nods as he tries to control his laughter. Eventually he does. “Of course! I have them right here!”

Seto turns to glare at his brother. “Tell me you did not bring those accursed photographs with you.”

“Okay, I didn’t bring them.” Mokuba says, handing Joey a few photo’s. “Here Joey, check this out.”

Joey busts out laughing when he sees the pictures. “Oh man, this is priceless! Tell me I can keep ‘em!”

“Sure, I’ve got others at home.” Mokuba says.

Seto growls. “Mokuba Kaiba…!”

Mokuba just smiles innocently. “Lets go onto the next scenes.” He says as he reaches back into the hat. “We’ve got a lot of these in here… ‘What Bakura thinks during a duel with Yami’.”

Mariku smirks. “I’m gonna win! I’m gonna win! I’m gonna- Damn it, I lost!”

Ryou has to hide a giggle, since that is just about what goes through Bakura’s head when he duels.

A buzzer sounds from the speakers for the second time.

“Alright, that’s the end of that game.” Mokuba says. “Lets move on to ‘Lets Make a Date!’ Joey, you’re hosting a dating show and you get to choose from Seto, Bakura, and Mariku.”

Nixx hands the three their cards and Mokuba gives them time to read them before he continues. “So, start any time you want. And when I think you can guess somewhat correctly, I’ll have Duke make the buzzer sound and you can guess who they are.”

Joey grins. “Great! This’ll be fun!” He turns to the others. “Hello bachelors! How are you today?”

The others sweat drop.

“Okay… bachelor number one, if you were a candy then what candy would you be?” Joey asks.

Mariku puts an innocent look on his face, much like that of his hikari’s. “A candy bar? Well I’d have to say-” He cuts himself off and changes voices so he sounds more like a young Malik. “Candy! I love candy!” His voice changes back. “Shut up!” He hisses, before changing his voice again. “Wah! You’re mean!”

Joey sweat drops and edges away from Mariku. “Erm… thank you bachelor number one. On to bachelor number two. If you were to take me anywhere in the world for a romantic getaway, where would you take me?”

This time it’s Seto’s turn. “I have not time for that! I’m trying to concentrate, you idiot! If I plan this right I can win!”

Joey rolls his eyes. “Fine. Jerk. Bachelor number three, what kind of animal would you describe yourself as?”

Bakura makes his appearance softer and more like that of his hikari’s. “Well, I’d have to say that I would be a kitten. Yes, a sweet little kitten. A sweet little fluffy kitten, who unlike a certain other two, will get along with everyone.” He finishes bitterly.

“That’s cute. But I like dogs.” Joey says. “Bachelor number one. Say I was drowning in a pool and there was nobody else around. What would you do?”

Mariku still has the innocent look on his face. “Well, I’d do the logical thing and-”He cuts himself off and changes his voice so it’s darker. “I’d let you drown! Mwahahaha!” His voice changes back. “No I wouldn’t! That’s stupid!” He changes his voice again to the young Malik one. “That’s mean! You shouldn’t drown people! You should save people because that’s the nice thing to do!”

“That’s very creepy.” Joey says. “Alright, back to bachelor number two. If you and me were playing a game, would you be angry if I won?”

Seto narrows his eyes. “Simply put, yes. And then I’d challenge you over and over until I beat you. I beat you! I beat Yami! Ha!”

Joey snickers. “Yeah, okay. Bachelor number three. Umm… tell me something about yourself.”

Bakura resists the urge to smirk as he keeps up his little act. “Well, I live with a lunatic thief who invites over his insane friend all of the time and neither of them know how to even pretend to be nice.” He crosses his arms over his chest and pouts. “And I’ve told them time and time again that they even if they don’t like my friends that they should at least pretend to because like it or not, they will be spending time together. They make me so mad!”

Ryou narrows his eyes, not at all amused by Bakura’s little act.

The buzzer sounds.

“Joey, do you have any idea who they are?” Mokuba asks.

Joey thinks for a minute. “Lets see… Mariku is… Malik during Battle City?”

Malik glares at the blonde duelist. “Are you calling me insane?”

Wanting to avoid the impending argument, Mokuba cuts it off. “You’re close. He’s a schizophrenic slowly going more insane.”

Joey laughs. “Yeah, that makes more sense since it was just Malik and Mariku in Battle City. Alright, Seto has just won a duel against Yami for the first time.”

“Correct!” Mokuba says with a laugh. “So that leaves Bakura.”

“He’s Ryou who is… ranting about Bakura and Mariku not liking the rest of us.” Joey says. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Mokuba nods. “Pretty much. Bakura was ‘Ryou preparing to lecture Mariku and Bakura on the importance of trying to act like they like the others’.” He reads off the card he has.

The others have a laugh over that round and so the game continues. They know now one thing for sure, and that’s that Mokuba can drag out a game for hours and still keep it entertaining. And the best part is that there’s no winner or loser so there’s no arguments over who won for once.

Eventually though, they are forced to stop for lunch, during which more chaos arises.

Everyone except for Yami, Bakura, Mariku, and Seto are sitting inside the van with all the windows rolled down and the doors wide open and are waiting for the four to return from inside Burger King. Why there’s a Burger King in the middle of Japan, no one has a clue. It’s just there for convenience apparently.

Anyway, they’re waiting there for the four to come back with the food. Why they chose those four to get the food, nobody really knows. It did seem like a good idea at the time. And besides, Yami and Seto are in there so what’s the worst that could happen?

Nixx voices that very same opinion. And now they’re all going to learn a very important lesson. And that is that while on a road trip “What’s the worst that can happen” is one of those phrases that need to be avoided.

Soon after Nixx spoke those dreaded words, Bakura and Mariku run out cackling like the idiots they are with bags of food in their arms. Following them are Yami and Seto, who appear to be in an argument over something or other.

Ryou and Yugi both hop out of the van and glare at their darker halves. Those little lights can be scary when they want to be.

“What. Did. You. Do.” Ryou growls when Bakura’s close enough to him. “Did I not make it clear enough to you to not make any trouble while getting the food?”

“It’s all Kaiba’s fault! Don’t blame us!” Bakura exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at the brunette who is still arguing with Yami.

After much yelling and arguing, they finally sit down in their spots in the van to eat. Every now and then Yami glares at Seto and mutters something under his breath before Yugi notices and whispers something in his ear to calm his boyfriend down.

Eventually, they get back on the road. Duke still drives and cranks up his rock music so loud that everyone has to yell if they want to be heard over it. Needless to say, by the time they pull up to the hotel they choose to stay in for the night, everyone is either irritated, has a headache, or never wants Duke to drive again. Actually, none of them want Duke to drive again.

Maybe the next day will be better?

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(1) Bwahahaha! This is for you, Seto-chan! You know I had to include Kaiba and his green hair in here somewhere! To everyone else, this is a bit of an inside joke between me and my friend. I enjoy teasing her about the fact that Seto had green hair in the very first show that didn't revolve around Duel Monsters. I find it amusing. She doesn't. Neh heh heh!

0-0-0-0

Character thoughts:

Seto: I'm going to ground Mokuba for giving Wheeler those photographs...

Mokuba: Now what can we do tomorrow...?

Joey: I can't believe I'm stuck sleeping in the same room as rich boy again! At least we got two beds this time though. And he does look kinda- NO! Bad Joey! Bad thoughts! Lets think about something else! Lets think about... donuts! Yeah, donuts are nice. And safe too. I love donuts. I wonder if I can get a donut for breakfast. Or maybe now. I'm hungry.

Yugi: (sneaking up on Yami)

Yami: (is aware that Yugi is trying to sneak up on him and finds it cute)

Nixx: (glares at Duke) How did this happen? How did this happen? How did this happen! I'm suppose to be sleeping with Mokie-precious! My darling love! I miss you! (cries)

Duke: (facing away from Nixx in the other bed) I don't know who's worse; Taylor or the pink-boy who keeps glaring at me.

Serenity: I hope big brother isn't too angry about having to sleep in the same room as Kaiba again.

Bakura: ...

Ryou: I wonder what Bakura's thinking about.

Malik: Zzzzzzzz......

Mariku: ...

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Shiro: It took a while, but I finally got it finished! You can thank me thinking about 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' and eating brownies at 11 at night while working on this chapter. Maybe I should stop eating those brownies at night. I tend to get really giggly when I do that and then I can't get to sleep.

Damian: Did Seto-chan really finally post that story?

Shiro: Hmm? Oh yeah! (giggles) I'm so happy! And she posted the Seto/Joey one! It's so cute! (squeals) For those of you who are curious about who I'm talking about, I'll tell you! My dear friend Seto-chan came over today and posted her first story on here. She finally has an account! Yay for her! Her pen name is Seto-chanluvj-kun. (dances)

Bast: I really don't think you need anymore sugar.

Shiro: But I want an oreo! Or a donut! A donut sounds really good right now.

Bast: Food obsessed blonde. It's no wonder Seto-chan and Gin call you Joey now.

Shiro: (grins) (in Joey-speech aka Joey-ese) I'm Joey-chan! Da girl version of Joey-kun!

Bast: -.-

Shiro: (still in Joey-speech aka Joey-ese) On ta 'da Chaos of First meetin's'!

Damian: (sweatdrops)

Shiro: Whooosh! ('whoooses' out of the room)