Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Not What You Think ❯ Chapter One ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

TITLE: Not What You Think (Not What I Think)

AUTHOR: Synchronized Love

RATING: PG-13

CATEGORY: Angst/Psychological

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Don't sue. Plzkthx. :3

PAIRING(S): Suggestable Seto/Yami; it's more angst than romantic, but it's pretty evident that it's the main attempted pairing in this fic.

` words ` = thoughts
_words_ = stresses on words

*~*~*

~FLASHBACK~

Pools of crimson grew wide, his bodily reflexes moving fluidly as the dagger punctured the soft bed right below him. He rolled until he tumbled over the edge, hitting the ground rather painfully. He had no time to truly register what was happening as the dagger flew towards him once more. He rolled, then swiftly moved to his feet. The wind from the missed strike rustled perfectly settled bangs, the want to hit the target very intentional.

"Seth, why are you doing this?"

There was no answer. Those cold cerulean hues were very honest as he slashed at the air to get to him again. He dodged once more, moving just under the predetermined direction. A lone thread of hair would only be caught as it floated to the ground in a graceful fashion. It was the of the same crimson color that were staring at the assailant with a disbelieving and crushed expression. Though there was no physical damage done, the mental pain that surged through his heart was just as agonizing. Seth, holding the dagger across his face, positioned himself quickly, and lunged forth once again.

"Seth, stop!"

Suddenly there was a bright golden glow of light. Just as Seth brought the dagger down, a shadow form of that dagger would retract from the puzzle that settled around his target's neck, negating his own attack as well as driving itself into Seth's chest. The brunette would only stare in disbelief at the power of the puzzle before he felt a burning pain from deep within his soul. His hand released the dagger, which clattered to the flow right by their feet. His body fell forward into the other's arms, who caught him, and slid to his knees. Tears were spilling down his face.

"Why? . ."

Blood was coughed up. Cerulean hues were half lidded, staring up into the tearstained face of the person that he was supposed to kill. Confusion was his only expression. Why? Why was he sad? You'd think he'd be glad that he got rid of another threat . .

"Tears .."

"For you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

".. I hate you."

"..."

"You killed me," Seth's voice was hoarse and weak.

"N-no I didn't! .."

"You will die."

"Without you .."

"Yes." More blood was coughed up. "You will die without me. You will forever suffer alone. Naive child .. I .. never .. loved y-you." Seth's head then fell over to the side. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. The look of a smirk was seen before the soul retracted from Seth's body, and his form would soon disappear into oblivion. The adolescent ruler brought his arms together, his body quaking and his sobs growing.

"Liar .. y-you did love me .. At least a part of me .." His eyes shut tightly at the realization. "You loved me for being the Pharaoh. You loved me so much, that you wanted to be the Pharaoh too .."

~END FLASHBACK~

"Yami?"

Blinking his eyes back into focus, crimson orbs moved to look into a pair of innocent amethyst hues that were wide and filled with concern. By the clutching of his hands to his sleeve and the way those pools threatened to leak tears, he realized that he must have been in too deep a thought for quite some time. He allowed a hand to cover his eyes for a brief moment, the other reaching to cover and reassure the little one's nerves. "I'm .. okay. Don't worry about it."

Yuugi was not convinced. Yami had been staring straight at the wall for over fifteen minutes. Many expressions were on his face during this. From shock to hurt, from hurt to fear, and finally fear .. to destruction, it was obvious that Yami had suffered another flashback. It hadn't been the first time the spirit of the Sennen Puzzle held this expression. In fact, it's happened more within the spirit room filled with many memoriams of Ancient Egypt. This was probably the third time it happened in the real world, but Yuugi never talked to Yami about it, as Yami never seemed aware that Yuugi stared and watched in fear. The last thing he wanted for his dear friend was to add the fact that people knew that he did this.

"You didn't have to hide that from me, Aibou."

Yuugi immediately blinked and his cheeks flushed a gentle red. His eyes were solemn, almost sad and guilty. Releasing his hold on the sleeve of the navy blue jacket that Yami wore, he rested his hands on his lap. His head lowered, eyes quaking while those hands began forming fists. Yami watched this, slowly raising his eyes to try and read Yuugi's expression. Before he could speak, however, Yuugi shook his head. "I'm worried about you." Yami's eyes widened.

"Yuugi, why?"

"You may be a spirit who solely exists with the Sennen Puzzle, but you're still a person. You just fail to have a body of your own." Yuugi started, taking deep breaths with every sentence he spoke. "You barely rest anymore. Even spirits become exhausted, and you're beyond exhaustion. When you sit out of your soul room, you stare out at the wall, your eyes revealing so many expressions. Each one brings fear to my heart, as you show sadness, pain, and fear. It's like you're afraid of something bringing you pain and sadness."

Yami looked away. Yuugi had hit the nail with the hammer. The only thing he did not know was who brought him this sadness, pain, and fear. It was best to allow fewer people to know, since he was very sure that this person had absolutely no clue that he was doing this. Yami himself was surprised that he remembered so far. Was it a punishment of some sense that reminded him of his darker times as pharaoh? Yami would most definately admit that he wasn't the best person around. However, was he so cruel or bad to be forced to remember how he had killed his lover? `Seth ..` Yami thought sorrowfully, `.. were you being honest with me about not loving me?`

`Yami, what's wrong? Why can't you tell me?` Yuugi looked at his spirit, blinking at vigorous times in order to hide the attempted tears. `You know you can trust me, so why don't you trust me now? Is it that private? That shameful? ..`

Suddenly, Yami stood up, staring blankly at the door. He sighed, walking towards the exit, and opening the door. "I need to have some time by myself, Aibou. Maybe .. maybe after a little walk, I'll be able to talk with you. Right now, however, I just .. can't .." His voice trailed off, the brims of his eyes bringing unwanted tears. When silence fell between the two, Yami heard the faint sniffling of his hikari. `We both shed tears. However, we shed them for different reasons. Yuugi, I am not worth your tears, as my tears aren't worth shedding for _him_. It's not like he would love me anyway ..`

"Yami .." Yuugi stood up, but then stopped. Yami was right; he needed some time to himself. Lately, Yuugi had been with him, trying to see what was wrong. Could it have been suffocating his darker self, driving him away from his other half? Long ago, they had been practically inseperable. It was only recently, since these flashbacks had begun to occur, that they had begun to split apart to a sense. It had hurt Yuugi, a lot, to feel this sudden seperation from someone who had been by his side for the longest time. It also broke him to know that his darkness was suffering, and he had no idea how to help him out. He didn't know what to do; he was lost, and was fearful that this lost feeling would make him lose Yami. As the door silently shut tightly, his tears slipped down his face, as he covered his head. "Just come back to me, and let me help you, onegai .."

*

`Stand up, Yuugi!` -- `Only I will be the one to beat you, Yuugi.` -- `I am your only rival, Yuugi.`

Yuugi, Yuugi, Yuugi. Rivalry. Defeat. Victory. All drummed against his head in a repetitious monotone as Yami sat down at the bench of Domino Park. It wasn't the most quiet of all places, but the scenery was nice. Bringing a leg up to curl and press against his chest, he rested his chin upon his knee, watching the children play and the parents gossip nearby. Looking to his side, a pair of lovers were showing their affection for each other in a minimal expression of kissing and hugging. Their hands were interwined, fingers lacing with each other while their lips connected. Crimson hues narrowed as he turned away and stared at the grass. Maybe it was a bad idea to come here. There were too many innuendos that reminded him of a life that he had wished he never had.

Love. Betrayal. Hatred. Innocence. Manipulation. Loss. Why did Yami have to recover everything that he would have rather forgotten? He had been so stupid to have trusted the High Priest with his heart back then. Yes, his former lover had been very kind to him in the beginning. He held him when the stress of ruling was too much. As a child, he never got to live through a period of innocence as many had in their lives. He was thrusted forward into intense responsibility, which including the controlling of the shadow powers and preventing the Sennen Items from ever being taken and used against their original purpose. When tears slipped down his face, Seth had kissed them away. He would bring bliss and peace to his life when he was so tense that he could barely keep things together. Of course, Yami always remembered waking up to a lonely bed, cold and devoid of love. At first he thought because the High Priest was often occupied and had to leave immediately. But then came the coldness, the fierce look on his face whenever he approached him. Still came those loving nights, but fewer came the emotions that the Pharaoh had come to depend on.

Then that fateful night came, when Yami had just barely avoided death, and in turn, had taken the life of someone he had sworn he had fallen in love with. Those final words that Seth uttered to him brought Yami to the point of despair. It had been hard to rule without him. Everyday was a challenge, being alone with nobody to hold. Even the slaves he brought to at least bring him some pleasure did not do a thing. Nobody would compare to _his_ High Priest. His lover. And yet, Seth never loved him.

His memory had then faded away, as the present world came back to him.

*

Bringing those downcast hues from staring at the now darkening blades, which by the setting sun, had taken a more melancholy and sleepy shade, Yami had soon realized that he had been crying silently. He was sniffling, and his eyes stung. He brought a hand to clear his face. However, he was beaten to the action as another one, more broader and gentle dried his face. Yami's eyes widened. An unconscious gesture to nuzzle against that hand would occur, his eyes falling half-lidded. It felt so familiar. Even the scent, which was spicy and exotic, was so easily recognized. `Seth..` He thought to himself, eventually opening his eyes and looking up to see his lover.

"Yuugi?"

Reality hit. Yami blinked a few times, Seth's warm, loving face of the past melting away to look into the cold cerulean hues of Kaiba Seto, who was Seth's reincarnation. Silence met between the two for a few moments before Yami scrambled to the end of the bench, his face reddening. He wanted to shrink away into oblivion right now, as Seto moved to sit down beside him. Even as the day darkened into nightfall, Yami could see the other dressed in his usual attire: his white trenchcoat which was buckled at the wrists of his sleeves. The back was flared, and his shoulders were pointed in spikes. Underneath, he was in all black, even down to his buckled-on boots that were styled similarly to the wrists. Looking up, a young man with chestnut hair that was mopped slightly over a very young, stoic face stared down into his blood-colored pools with his own pools of pure cerulean.

Yami couldn't stand to look at him. It was too much of a reminder. Also he was completely embarrassed to have nuzzled against Seto's hand so affectionately. That just gave the facts in his mind away. If Kaiba didn't say anything yet, he would now. He would probably ridicule him and despite him more. There could also be fear and discomfort with the open truth: Yami was gay.

"Are you .. okay, Yuugi?"

`My name isn't Yuugi. My name is .. My name is ..` The thoughts faltered, tears threatening to come back through his eyes. Yami's real name was unknown. To him and to everyone else. That cracked his heart in two, as a name was a symbol of high respect. You couldn't find yourself without your real name. Yami had lost that when he was sealed three thousand years ago in the Sennen Puzzle. Of all the things he could have remember, within the labyrinth of his mind, his name had never been discovered. "No .." He whispered despairingly, not even fully aware of Kaiba's presence anymore.

"What's wrong?" Seto whispered in a more understanding voice. His face looked more concerned than in the daytime. As Yami looked up at him once more, he remembered those kind eyes. They were so alluring, so wonderful, so .. manipulating. His depression was starting to fill with anger. Seth had done this to him too, being nice to him, trying to get him to open up. But after Yami layed his heart out, it was stomped on, hard and relentless. However, was Seto the same way? He was Seth's reincarnation, but that didn't mean that he held the exact same personality. In fact, Seto was probably more honest than anyone else he knew besides his own Aibou. Yami felt himself scooting over closer to Seto, just to look into those alluring eyes. Manipulation wasn't a concern at this point.

"Kaiba-kun, have you ever loved someone, but were afraid of their reaction? Have you ever wanted to go forth and tell this person, but you couldn't do it because of a past relationship? You were loved, and yet your heart was stomped on after awhile, and they didn't care the least bit for your tears? You were used and abused, and yet you mistook it for love?"

Seto merely looked down at Yami in silence, his eyes blinking several times. There was silence for a few moments, while his mind whirred around rather rapidly. `Yuugi was .. used and abused before?` That was what his mind continuously repeated as he looked down at the other. He noticed how the other had moved closer rather hesitantly. This was serious, for the other to have asked this of him, of all people. Kaiba Seto was Mutou Yuugi's rival, and nothing more. And that relationship stayed rather intact, at least until Seto felt he needed a walk in the park. It was nightfall, so nobody would really see him, a very rich corporate executive officer, walking like nothing in the middle of the streets. When he saw Yuugi curled up in a bench, tears falling down his face, the brunette felt a pain in his heart to see him in such anguish. He couldn't help but walk over to clear those tears, and to stare into those beautiful crimson eyes of his.

He had never expected Yuugi to lean against that touch and nuzzle his hand. It felt rather soothing. He soon found himself wanting to know what was wrong with the other. When he had sat down to see what was the matter with the other, again, he expected a cold remark, a biting saying and probably for the other to get up and walk away. Yuugi, instead, surprised him again and had opened up almost immediately.

Yami had noticed the silence that came between them. He shifted and looked up at him, clearing his eyes once more and shaking his head. "Of course not. I'm sure you've never experienced that." He smiled sadly, and moved to get up. "It was stupid of me to ask. I'll .. talk to you some other time, I guess, Kaiba-kun. Sorry for bothering you like that."

However, as Yami stood up, Seto had reached out and pulled the other back. Yami let out a surprised cry as he felt himself sit back down. He turned around sharply to face Seto. He nearly jumped at the closeness of their faces, blinking several times as he studied the endless waters that were Kaiba's eyes. Kaiba himself was studying how the fires in Yuugi's normally crimson hues were dull and just struggling to stay alive. Whoever abused and used Yuugi before would pay, as well as anyone who dared tried to put the fire out in Yuugi.

"Who did it? Who used and abused you?"

Yami began to shiver. He didn't want to talk about it. He couldn't talk about it. He shook his head fervently in an attempt to not talk about it. He would not open his mouth, for he knew he would start sobbing from the pressure from his present and past melding together into one. Seto, Seth .. both were one in the same physically. And Yami was scared as he couldn't discern their differences. He tried to pull away, to get up and run. He had to get away, return to the Sennen Puzzle if anything. He would talk to Yuugi and all would be fine as the other knew how to make him smile.

"Yuugi .."

"I'm not Yuugi. Don't call me that. Just .. don't .."

Seto's eyes widened. "Then wh-"

"I don't know ..."

And as the tears fell once more, Seto brought the other into his arms. He held that shaking form that was externally, the King of Games, but internally, was still innocent, vulnerable, and very much able to experience emotions. Cerulean hues closed, one hand pressed against the back of that soft, smooth spiky hair. The other was pressed on Yami's lower back.

So many questions were left unanswered. More were arising. But, Seto didn't care right now. He would ask at a later time. He felt ease for the first time while holding Yami in his arms, letting the other cry his eyes out. There was confusion between the duo. However, there was a great possibility of recovering it. Seto knew. And he hoped Yami had the strength to want to know, as King of Games, a spirit from the Sennen Puzzle, and now someone who was important in Kaiba's life.

* * *
(OWARI.)

Please R/R! Should I continue this? Do you people like it? Opinions, praises, & constructive criticism is greatly accepted. =3 That's all for now! Goodbye for now. ^^