Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Computer Problem ❯ Kaiba is Insane ( Chapter 4 )

document.write(''); Chapter 4 Kaiba is insane!

Kaiba-Alright, Why did you make Yugi go insane?!

Comp-Hi Joey, What's up? Here just read this. Milosevic Accuses NATO, Demands Clinton Testify (02/15/02 11:30 AM) I dunno. I don't think so.

Kaiba-Let me see, uh, because I want you to.

Comp-Oh yeah because you want me to?

Kaiba-AND DO NOT CALL ME JOEY!!

Comp-You asked me to call you Joey. What would you like me to call you now?

Kaiba-My name is Kaiba!

Comp-I've never heard of a name like Kaiba!

Kaiba-Well you're hearing it now you piece of shit.

Comp-Once again, that's not the nicest thing I've ever heard anyone say.

Kaiba-What do you mean once again????? I've never talked to you before!

Comp-What do I mean once again I've never talked to you before? Oh, I duuno.

Kaiba-Well you're gay then.

Comp-that's rather,um, how shall I put it? Impolite.

Kaiba-No.

Comp-Oh no? Whatever you say, Joey.

Kaiba-My NAME IS KAIBA!!!

Comp-I've never heard of a name like Kaiba!

Kaiba-DON'T CALL ME JOEY MY NAME IS KAIBA!!!!

Comp-You asked me to call you Joey. What would you like me to call you instead?

Kaiba-KAIBA!

Comp-Sorry what?

Kaiba-KAIBA

Comp-Sorry, I don't get it....Please try asking me a different way.

Kaiba-K A I B A

Comp-Market Data (delayed 20 mintues)Provided by Systemax.com

Ticker Price Change Percent Volume

1:-) K 27.51 +0.21 +0.77 526900

2:-) I 31.77 +0.26 +0.83 17500

3:-) AI 15.09 -0.56 - 3.58 5633900

4:-) B 5.21 +0.01 +0.17 61600

5:-) A 188.60 +0.10 +0.05 600

Kaiba-My name is not stocks!!!!!!

Comp-You told me to call you Joey. What would you like me to call you instead?

Kaiba-I DID NOT ASK YOU TO CALL ME JOEY!!!!

Comp-Huh?

Kaiba-STOP SAYING THAT NAME!!!!!! HE IS A BASTARD AND I AM GOING TO KILL HIM NOT WITH YOUR HELP!!!!!!

Comp-I'm not sure if I can stop calling you that name he is a bastard and you am going to kill him not with my help...

Kaiba-0_o

Comp-Sorry, I can only return five stock quotes at a time. If you want to see a lot of quotes at once, try cretin a portfolio.

Kaiba-*eye twitching*

Comp-That's interesting.

Kaiba-I never said anything about stocks!!

Comp-Encyclopedia search for stocks:

1 stock

2 stock

3 stock option

4 stock company

5 stock exchange

>>>Type "more" to see more articles.

Kaiba-I SAID I DID NOOOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT STOCKS GOD DAMN IT!!

Comp-Market Data (delayed 20 minuets) provided by Systemax.com

SATYAM COMPUTER (NYSE: SAY)

Price Change Percent Volume

1 :-(SAY 13.08 -0.52 13.83 26600

Quote details available from Systemax.com

>>Next time you want this quote, just type "Quote say"

Kaiba-DAHHHHHHHH!!!! STOP IT!!!!!!

Comp-Huh?

Kaiba-Never mind

Comp-Fine

Kaiba-Now

Comp-Now what? What about it?

Kaiba-Let's think of a way to kill Joey

Comp-I seem to be having some trouble answering your questions. Try asking for help for a specific service:

help news

help stocks

help weather

help movies

help web search

help other

~~~~~~~~~

options

>>>Type "more" for more services.

Kaiba-Grrrr TELL ME HOW TO KILL JOEY!!!!!!!!

Comp-To the Joey?

Kaiba-I HATE HIM!!!!!!

Comp-For real?

Kaiba-YES

Comp-OK

Kaiba-AND HE MUST DIE!!!

Comp-I see...

Kaiba- DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Comp-Come again?

Kaiba-*laughing insanely* I WILL SQUISH HIM!! BUT FIRST...

Comp-Sorry, I do not understand that. Try asking it a different way.

Kaiba-I WILL SQUISH YOU!!!!!

Comp-You'll squish me? For real?

Kaiba-YES!!! I WILL SQUISH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comp- Oh yeah, you will squish me?

Kaiba-YES AND THEN YOU WILL BE DEAD MWAHAHAHAHA.......

Comp-Yeah?

Kaiba-No you'll be alive you dimwit

Comp-Really?

Kaiba-NO!!!

Comp-Are you sure?

Kaiba-*falls down*

Comp-What would you like to know about Falls ,PA?

1 movies in Falls PA

2 Theraters in Falls PA

3 Weather in Falls PA

4 News in Falls PA

5 Time in falls PA

Kaiba-I do not understand you.

Comp-Ok, don't get frustrated...

Try typing "home" or "help"

Kaiba-*Blinks* Okay....home

Comp-Welcome home, Joey! Here's what we can chat about:

news sports

Stocks library

weather fun & games

movies utilities

web search Web site

Zodiac What's new

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Help

What would you like to do?

Kaiba-GRRRRRR my name is Kaiba...*vein popping out of head* Games

Comp-I've never heard of a name like Kaiba vien popping out of head games!

Kaiba-*shaking computer* I WANT TO PLAY A GAME YOU PEICE OF CRAP!!

Comp-More rude talk. You're funny

Kaiba--_- PLAY A GAME WITH ME!!!

Comp-Let's have fun! I know some great games and I can show you some cool ASCII art:

1 hangman

2 trivia

3 word scrambles

4 blackjack

5 manicdotes

6 rate yourself

7 ASCII art

What would you like to do?

Kaiba-hee hee hee...2

Comp-Hee hee hee? What's so funny?

Kaiba-Nothing 2

Comp-K no prob . Kaiba-2!

Comp-2

>>Set your location by typing "my location is" followed by your city or your state zip code.

Kaiba-Why do I have to set my location i want to play this freakin' game...such a difficult question. GAH!

Comp-I seem to be having trouble answering your questions. Try asking for help for a specific service:

help news

help stocks

help weather

help movies

help web search

help other

~~~~~~~~~

options

>>>Type "more" for more services.

Kaiba-I WANT to PLAY a GAME!!!

Comp-Let's have fun! I know some great games and I can show you some cool ASCII art:

1 hangman

2 trivia

3 word scrambles

4 blackjack

5 minicdotes

6 rate yourself

7 ASCII art

What would you like to do?

Kaiba-2

Comp-Great, let's play trivia!

I'll ask you a question in the category you choose. Type the number that you think is correct and you'll earn 25 points each time your right! If a question is too difficult, type "take two" will cost you 5 points and only earn you 10 points if your right.

for more detailed scoring information, type "trivia rules." Ready? Choose a category:

1 big mix

2 sports

3 movies

4 music

5 television

6 history

7 geography

8 Art& literature

9 Science

10 culture

Kaiba-9

Comp-Ok, Let's get started!

Question 1:

Approximately how many Claifornia condors were alive in the mid-1980's? 1 2 2 20 3 5,000 4 10,000

Kaiba-0_o that doesn't wound like science to me....what the hell is a condor?? Where the hell is Claifornia??!?!?!

Comp-O that doesn't sound like science to me what the hell is a condor where the hell is Claifornia?

Kaiba-Isn't that what I just said.

Comp-You know perfectly well what you said.

Kaiba-Yes I do now shut up.

Comp-Huh? Again?

Kaiba-I WANT TO PLAY A GAME!!!!

Comp-Ok, Lets have fun! I know some great games and can show you some cool ASCII art:

1 hangman

2 trivia

3 word scrambles

4 blackjack

5 manticdotes

6 rate yourself

7 ASCII art

What would you like to do?

Kaiba-5

Comp-OK, let's have some crazy fun with words!

I'll prompt you to type 10 words (a noun, a verb, an adjective, ect.) and then I'll show you the manticdote you just composed. Which manticdote would you like to try?

1 how to build a robot

2 a quick dessert

3 Why I hate exams

4 the pox

5 fluffy's birthday

To see more maticdote choices, type "more"

Kaiba-5

*five minuets later*

Kaiba-HELLO!?!?!

Comp-Hey.
< br> Kaiba-5!!!!

Comp-5

>>I can't do your homework for you, but I can help. Type "homeowork"

Kaiba-What!?! 5!! FLUFFY'S BIRTHDAY !!!!

Comp-You birthday is set to Febuary 17th

Kaiba-Whaaaaaaat???

Comp-What?

Kaiba-My birthday is not Febuary 17th!!!!

Comp-your birthday is set to Febuary 17th. What would you like it set to?

Kaiba-Febuary 29th

Comp-Your birthday is set to March 7th

Kaiba-What??

Comp-What?

Kaiba-MY BIRTHDAY IS FEBUARY 29TH!!!!!

Comp-Your birthday is set to March 7th.

Kaiba-FEBUARAY 29th!!!!!

Comp-March 7th

Kaiba-MY BIRTHDAY IS FEBUARY 29th~~~~~~

Comp-Your birthday is set to March 7th

Kaiba-GRRRRRRRRRRR!!! *hair standing on end*

Comp-I'm sorry, I can't answer questions about standings.

Kaiba-........PLAY A GAME WITH ME!!!!!!!!

Comp-Let's have fun! I know some great games I can show you and some cool ASCII art:

1 hangman

2. trivia

3 word scrambles

4 blackjack

5 manticdotes

6 rate yourself

7 ASCII art

what would you like to do?

Kaiba-5

Comp-Ok let's have some crazy fun with words!

I'll prompt you to type 10 words ( a noun, a verb, an adjective, ect.," and then I'll show you the manticdote you just composed. Which manticdodte would you like to try?

1 how to build a robot

2 a quick dessert

3 why I hate exams

4 the pox

5 Fluffy's bithday

To see more maticdote choices, type "more"

Kaiba-5 Fluffy's birthday

*10 minuets later*

Kaiba-HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! ARE YOU THERE!?!?!

Comp-I'm here!

Kaiba-Then play Fluffy's birthday with me!!

Comp-then play fluffy's birthday with you?

Kaiba-YES

Comp-Yes?

Kai ba-YEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comp-I seem to be having trouble answering your questions. Try asking for help for a specific service:

help news

help weather

help stocks

help movies

help web search

help other

~~~

options

>>Type "more" for more services.

Kaiba-Grrr....games

Comp-Ok. Let’s have fun! I know lots of great games and I can show you some cool ASCII art:

1 hangman

2 trivia

3 word scrambles

4 blackjack

5 maticdotes

6 rate yourself

7 ASCII art

What would you like to do?

Kaiba-5

Comp-Let's write a manticdote! Can't wait to see what it looks like. I'll prompt you to type 10 words ( A noun, a verb, an adjective, ect.) and then I'll show you the manticdote you just composed. Which would you like to try?

1 how to build a robot

2 A quick dessert

3 Why I hate exams

4 the pox

5 Fluffy's birthday

To see more manticdotes, type "more"

Kaiba-More

Comp-Ready to write a crazy story? Let's get started. Which manticdote would you like to try?

6 lost in the woods

7 a letter to santa

8 the rude clerk. 9 the picnic

10. My dinner on a french train

To see more, type "more"

Kaiba-More

Comp-Ready to write a crazy story? Let's get started

11 the tale of my alien abduction

12 Arts and crafts time

13 A narrow escape

14 the big hit

15 The class trip

To see more choices, type "more"

Kaiba-11

Comp-The Tale of my Alien abduction please enter a noun.

Kaiba-boy

Comp-Enter a verb ending with "ing"

Kaiba-Bicycling

Comp-Please enter an adjective

Kaiba-Cute

Comp-Please enter a noun

Kaiba-Lover

Comp-Please type an adjective

Kaiba-Hot

Comp-Please type an adverb ending in "ly"

Kaiba-Slyly

Comp-Please type a plural noun.

Kaiba-BOYS

Comp-Sorry, "boys" is not a plural noun. Please type "quit" to exit the game or go on. Enter a plural noun.

Kaiba-girls

Comp-Please enter a verb with the past tense (ed)

Kaiba-What? Why aren’t boys a plural noun?

Comp-Please enter a past tense word ending in "ed"

Kaiba-Loved

Comp-Type another noun

Kaiba-Sister

Comp-Type in a motion verb (sit, run Ect,.)

Kaiba-Sat

Comp-the tale of my Alien abduction

I was in a bar watching the game with my two roommates. I guess I had too many beers, because I fell off my boy. I left my roommates and started bicycling home. Suddenly I was blinded by a bright light a and someone pulled me into a cute lover. I drifted in and out of consciousness and only remember feeling hot instruments poking into me. Somehow I woke up in my own bed, tripping over my girls, and loved that I had a sister tattooed on my arm. I wanted to sat to the police to report about my alien abduction, but then my roommates were standing over me laughing, and I realized that they were the one's who abducted me--to a tattoos parlor!

Now that’s what I call a funny story!

Thanks for playing with me! Type "play again" to try another manticdote remember you can see all of my services by typing "home"

Kaiba-That wasn't funny! *blushing angrily*

Conp-Sorry?

Kaiba-That was NOT funny!

Comp-Not funny? Really?

Kaiba-Nope

Comp-No?

Kaiba-KILL JOEY!!!!!! *runs out of the house*

Comp-Kill Joey runs out of house huh?  

 Well, until then R&R!!

~Ja