Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yu-gi-oh, mindlink wars. ❯ Mindlink ( One-Shot )

Yu-gi-oh, mindlink wars

 

It was another one of those boring days for Seto Kaiba, president of Kaiba corps. Not only did he have to go to school, but he had a meeting afterwards. A meeting that could've been handled without him, but legal procedures forced him to be present. He sighed and stared at the window to watch a bird fly into a lamppost, and then continued taking notes. Suddenly, a voice in the back of his head called him. The voice that sounded just like his. Ofcourse it did not belong to him. It was his yami's. His other half's.

`Hey Seto? Busy?' asked the voice.

`Why are you suddenly resorting to mind link? Did something happen at home?' Seto responded through his thoughts, pausing his note taking.

`Nah… It's just that…. I'm bored!' his yami whined. As Seto had school and other obligations, Seth had none whatsoever. He was therefore doomed to spend the day in the Kaiba mansion.

`Well, there is nothing I can do about that.' Seto replied coldly.

`Damn… Sooo, what's going on at school?'

`The usual. Boring lessons, boring notes, boring classmates…'

`You should call yourself lucky. In my days, you didn't have school.'

`God, you sound like an old geezer.'

`Technically, I am.'

`Well, stop pestering me, old man! Go watch TV or something.'

`There's nothing good on.'

Seto sighed again. The teacher just continued to drone on with his looooooooong lecture.

`Well, you know how to use the VCR don't you? Go watch a movie.'

`Fine. I think I'll watch “Little Timmy goes to Egypt” again.'

`You do that.' And with that Seto returned to note taking. After five minutes however, he was once again bothered by his yami.

`I put the tape in the slide right?'

`Yes Seth, yes you do.' Seto rolled his eyes. The teacher gave him a piercing look, but the CEO didn't notice.

`Okay then. Dododo… pushing it in… dododo… pressing the button.'

`Seth, be quiet for a minute, I think I just missed something important.' Seto thought frantically, rereading his notes. There were about 30 seconds of silence and then…

`Eh… huh? Uhm, Seto? Where do you keep your fire extinguishers?'

`Why do you need one?'

`The VCR thingie is starting to smoke and… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! OH RA! MY LEG! THE PAIN!!!!'

Seto dropped his pen, due to the sudden cursing in the back of his mind.

“A problem mr. Kaiba?” the teacher asked.

“No.” Seto replied shortly, quickly grabbing his pen again as a few people (Joey Wheeler in particular) sniggered.

`What the hell happened?'

`The damn thing exploded! It sent me crashing into the kitchen wall! But don't worry, I sent it to the shadow realm.'

`Seth, just a wild guess, but I think you tried to play a VCR tape with the toaster…'

`Huh? Ooooh yeah. That thing in the kitchen is the toaster, and in the living room is the VCR… I keep mixing those up.'

`Brainless idiot.'

`Hey, excuuuuuuuuuuse me princess!'

Seto was suddenly hit on the back of his head by a piece of paper. He looked back to see that it was sent by Joey, who motioned him to open it. Seto glared back, but opened the paper anyway. It read: “Hey moneybags, you're supposed to be paying attention to the teacher. I heard money doesn't work on him, so you have to get good grades by studying.”

`Argh, the nerve of that mutt!' Seto thought furiously, crushing the paper in his hand.

`Ooooh, Seto loves Joey! Seto loves Joey!'

`Shut up you!'

`Seto and Joey, sitting in a tree! K.I.S.S.I.N.G!' the yami sang.

`I said shut up!'

`What are you gonna do? You can't stop me from reading your thoughts, and replying to them! Muahahahaha!'

“Shut up already!” Seto shouted, jumping up from his seat. This caused the entire class to stare at him. He hadn't meant to shout that out loud. Or to stand up while doing so…

“Mr. Kaiba, it is my job to teach, and that is what I will do.” The teacher said, raising an eyebrow.

“I'm going to the bathroom.” Seto said shortly, striding out the door with the same cold glare he always wore. Nobody dared to laugh, except for Joey, who was sniggering slightly. The CEO slammed the door shut behind him and headed for the bathroom.

`Smooth move princess!' Seth teased.

`Ah damn, this is all your fault! If you had just shut up like I told you to…'

`Heheh… What can I say? I'm evil!'

`Listen, if you shut up now, I'll ask the maids to make you pancakes tonight.' Seto compromised.

`Oooooh! Pancakes! Yeah ok. Later!' and so the mind link was broken.

 

Seto returned to class as though nothing had happened, and wasn't bothered by Seth anymore. When school had ended, he immediately stepped in his limo and went on to the meeting. Another boring meeting that would probably last several hours. The agony!

`Ooooh Setooo!' the voice suddenly called again.

`Ah god, not again! No pancakes for you!'

`Pancakes be damned! I'm bored!'

`Well if you insist on using mindlink, try something constructive! I'll be here for a few more hours, so play some nice music.'

`Yeah, ok. But I'll have to use the TV, cause I can't work the radio.'

`Fine!'

`Let's see what's on then… Oh, Teleflubbies! Hey Seto, it's Stinky winky! Eating Flubbie toast!'

`Seth, I asked for music! Not a report on some children program.' Seto replied, trying to focus on the meeting.

`Stinky winky dropped his flubbie toast. But guess who's coming to clean it up kids?' Seth asked in a fake female voice. `That freaky elephant! Yaaaaaaay!' he then shouted in his normal voice.

`Seth! Stop with the damn Teleflubbies!'

`Oh alright… jeez, mister Scrooge. Let's see here. The news, some stupid talkshow… Hey, a woman with quintuplets!'

`Grrr'

`Keep yer pants on! I'm lookin'… Oh look, it's your favourite song!'

`Really? Which one?' Seto asked, pretending to be listening to the meeting.

`Hold on, I'll turn up the volume and let you enjoy it to fullest extent!' Seth said, and the next second, Seto's mind was filled with the song “I'm super” by big gay Al.

`Seth, what the hell?'

`Oh, not loud enough? Okay then!'

`Seth n-'

`I'm feeling super! No, nothing bugs me! Everything is super when you're- Don't you think I look cute in this hat?'

`Seth! For the love of god, turn it off!' Seto tried to make out over the music, but Seth didn't hear.

`I'm so sorry, Mr. Cripple! But I just can't feel too bad for you right now. Because I'm feeling,
so insanely super! That even the fact that you can't walk can't bring me down!'

“Mr. Kaiba?” one of the staff asked, after seeing the horrified look on Seto's face. What the staff couldn't know is that Seto felt like his ears were about to explode, even though there was no evident noise around him.

`I'm super! No, nothing bugs me! Everything is super when you're- Don't you think I look cute in this hat? These little pants, this matching tie that I got at Vogue!'

 

“Mr. Kaiba, are you alright?” the staff member asked.

“I'm super, thanks for asking.” Seto responded in a voice that sounded a bit like Big gay Al's. The staff burst into silent fits of laughter.

`Everything is super when you're gay! When you're gay!'.

And then the music was turned down.

`There Seto, wasn't that relaxing?' Seth thought, and it was followed by a snigger.

`You asshole! Dammit! You made me quote the damn song! Out loud!'

`Yeah, isn't it great? I wonder if I can make you sing “In the summertime” while tap-dancing on the table.' Seth thought hungrily.

`Now the whole staff thinks I'm nuts!'

`Like they didn't think that before… Besides, I was under the impression you didn't care what anyone thought.'

`I was under the impression that you liked having a roof over your head. But perhaps you'll like sleeping outdoor for the next month.'

`Touchy today aren't we?'

`Go find something else to do.'

`Alright then.' There was a moment of silence and then…

'99 innocent slaves on the sphinx, 99 innocent slaaaaves! You shoot one down, throw it around, 98 innocent slaves on the sphinx!'

`Seth, shut up.'

'98 innocent slaves on the sphinx, 98 innocent slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaves!' Seth continued to sing, totally offkey.

`Quit it!'

`Ya shoot one down, throw it around, 97 innocent slaves on the sphinx!'

“Excuse me? Can I get an aspirin over here?” Seth asked the nearest staff member. The woman nodded and left the room.

`Aspirin cant keep me out Seto!'

`Yes, but if I get really drugged up, I might be able to ignore you. Or pass out. Either one is good.'

`Sick-o!'

`You're one to talk. Mister my-dad-was-evil-so-I-stabbed-him-in-the-gut-with-a-knife.'

`Ah! That was below the belt! Guess what? I'm going up to your room!'

`You wouldn't dare!'

`Oh yes I would! And then I am opening your closet, and I will choose some nice outfits to give to charity.'

`You stay away from my trechcoats!'

`Can you make me stay from them? Muahahahahah!'

`Why yes I can. I have in my possession a nice blue eyes white dragon action figure. Remember? The one that you begged me for? That you said you were going to pay back? I picked it up from the store this morning. You touch my trenchcoats, and `Kisara' gets it!'

`Ack! Noooo! You fiend!'

`Now step away from my closet.'

`Fine, I'll just go to that secret cupboard behind your bookcase.'

`I have no idea to which secret cupboard you are referring!'

`Oh, I think you do! The pink one with the-'

`You just crossed the line mister! Blue eyes is going to lose an arm!' Seto thought furiously, taking the action figure out of his pocket.

`Nooooo! Waaaaaaait!' the yami cried out, but alas, `Kisara' had now lost her right claw. Seto sniggered. Meanwhile, the staff members stared and started whispering.

“Has Mr. Kaiba lost his mind?”

“What's he doing, playing with toys?”

“He's too young to be a president afterall…”

“What are you looking at you fools? Continue with the meeting, now!” Seto commanded, sliding the blue eyes white dragon back into his pocket. The staff hastily returned to discussing Kaiba corps products.

`You bastard! You evil, wicked…. Evil… Ooooh, your trenchcoats are gonna die a violent, detergent-overloaded death!'

`You don't know how to use the washing-machine! So hah!'

`Crap!'

`Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend.' Seto thought, turning his mind back to the useless blabbering.

`Fine, how about I cheer up this meeting with a few mental images? I'm thinking of a boy… and handcuffs…'

`Seth don't you d-' but the CEO was too late, as the mental image had already popped up. Seth laughed madly as Seto tried to block it out.

`Oh yeah? Well I'm thinking of a certain high priest sleeping in a cardboard box.' Seto thought, forming a counter image. `Suddenly, a large transvestite hobo comes straight for you. You try to run, but the hobo is faster, since you have no shoes, and the hobo has a pair of Nikes! Uhoh, he's gaining on you and…. ' A loud mental shrieking told Seto his work was done. He sniggered in satisfaction.

“Mr. Kaiba? You think it's funny that 500 hard workers will lose their job?” a staff member asked, looking up from his papers. Apparently Seto's snigger had interrupted the meeting.

“No, ofcourse not. It was just an…. Inside joke.” Seto replied.

`I'll get you for this!' Seth hissed, and another image formed in Seto's mind. This time it was Seto, pants less, in front of the class. The CEO buried his face in his hands.

“Uhm… Mr. Kaiba? Your aspirin sir.” Said the woman he had sent out five minutes earlier. She placed a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water on the table and sat down again.

“Finally!” Seto said, quickly opening the bottle and dumping two aspirins down his throat before washing them down with the water.

`Here's a nice mental image for you!' Seto thought, creating the image of Seth being trampled by a stream of rampaging hippos.

And so the mental image war raged on. The thoughts turned more violent, brutal and sadistic as the time passed, and Seto had swallowed atleast five more aspirins in thirty minutes. Soon however, they were running out of ideas.

`Hey Seth! Time-out!' Seto called.

`Hold on, I got one more.' And Seto saw the mental image of himself being hugged by a dozen Yugi's. `Yeah ok, I'm done.'

`You and I both know we can't keep this up. It's time to compromise.'

`I'm listening…'

`Remember how you always wanted to tell me your life story? Well, now's your chance.'

`Wow, really?'

`Yes. I have nothing better to do anyway.'

`Hooray! Well, it all started when I was five and my father left….'

And so as the hours passed Seth told his hikari about his first horse, Sandspirit, about how his village was burned down. About how he got to be a high priest, about the time he put scorpions in Mahado's bed and other stuff Seto found extremely boring.

 

“If that was all then… Meeting adjourned!” said a voice, and there was the sound of rustling paper as everyone grabbed their notes. This woke Seto up from his sleepy state.

“Finally!” he muttered, getting to his feet.

`So then that thief Bakura comes into the palace, followed by his army of ghosties. Everyone was all What the f-'

`Seth…'

`And then he whistles, see, and his horse comes running in, dragging the sarcophagus of the previous pharaoh. And Atem is all Noooooooooooooo!'

`Hey Seth!'

`And we were all We gotta protect the pharaoh! And we got ready to summon our kaa!'

`SETH!'

`Yes?'

`The meeting is over.'

`Aaaaw! But I haven't even gotten to the part where Mahado snuffs it. Damn Mahado. Always licking the pharaoh's butt. “Let me carry that for you pharaoh! I'll get the food for you pharaoh! You're my best friend pharaoh! We must all protect the glorious life of the pharaoh by sacrificing our own!” Jeez, it's no wonder the kid turned out to be a spoiled brat.'

`Well, you can tell me all about that next time. I'm coming home now. Then I can kick your ass at Souls calibur 2' Seto thought exiting the meeting room.

`That's what I like to hear! Hey, do you think the Blue eyes white dragon can be fixed with superglue?'

`I'm sure it can. Or I'll just buy a new one.'

`Yay!'

 

A few days later, Seth was in the living room, playing with the Gamecube. His figure entered the last boss's room.

`Oooh, this is it! My last life! I am gonna kick that monster's ass, and then I'll have finished the game!' Seth thought happily. There was a moment of suspension, in which Seth's character pulled out his sword and then…

`BOO!'

Seth dropped the controller in fright, and the character got his head chopped off by the monster.

“Noooooooooooo!!!!” Seth shouted, watching the Game over screen. Meanwhile, Seto was laughing maniacally in the back of his mind.

`You bastard! It took me five hours to get to this point! I'll get you for this!' Seth thought furiously. And so another mindlink war began.