Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yu-Gi-Oh Talkshow! ❯ Week Seven ( Chapter 7 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Yu-Gi-Oh Talkshow
Week 7

Sakura: Hi! Welcome to the Yu-Gi-Oh Talkshow. Sorry it's on at 4 in the morning. Our show doesn't seem to be that popular. Any later and we could put up the news.

Yugi: Today the high will be 15º Celsius. For all those of you out there who happen to not use the metric system, it's 62º Fahrenheit out.

Sakura: Did I say we were? No weather! No news! We're fighting them already!

Yugi: No news…how about a disclaimer?

Sakura: Oh, yeah! Okay, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Energizer batteries, or Looney Tunes. And…um…we never know what we are doing! So, cast…what shall we do?

Kaiba: Kill the pink bunny!!!

::everybody looks at him like he's insane::

Kaiba: ::embarrassed:: Hehe…just an idea.

Roberi: What pink bunny?

Pink Bunny: Hey Kaiba, hey Kaiba, hey Kaiba-

Kaiba:: ::gets up and strangles the bunny:: AHHH!!!!! KILL THE PINK BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!

::again, everybody looks at him like he's insane, except the Pink bunny, now nearly dead::

Pink Bunny: ::between gasps:: Hey…Kaiba…hey…Kaiba…

::the bunny somehow escapes Kaiba's grip and bounces off::

Kaiba: ::pulls out a fake rifle and starts running after it:: Come on, cast! It's rabbit season!

Sakura: Since when does Kaiba like Looney Tunes?

::Kaiba and the Pink Bunny show up on a tv screen that appeared on the stage. They seem to be imitating Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd…::

Kaiba: ::talking to a suspicious, long-eared dog:: Hey, have you seen a bunny? He's pink and he's got long ears.

Imitation Dog: He went ::points:: That-a way.

Kaiba: Thanks! ::runs in the direction the 'dog' was pointing in::

::once Kaiba is out of sight, the 'dog' pulls off the dog costume and *surprise* it's the Pink Bunny, who runs off in the other direction::

Sakura: This could go on forever and ever if I know my Looney Tunes. How about we turn this off and check up on him in a few minutes? ::takes the remote and turns off the tv:: I can use him for a backup if I get the Writer's Block.

Yugi: The Pink Bunny…in case of writer's block? ::shudders::

Téa: So, seriously, what are we going to do?

Joey: Du-

Everyone except Joey: No!

Tristan: Joey, you say that all the time! Stop!

Sakura: So what will we do?

Mai: Well, this is a TALK-show, so maybe we should…talk?

Tristan: What are we going to talk about? We already had the interviews. And all the questions stink.

Clone Sakura: ::from backstage:: Excuse me? What was that, Mr.?

Tristan: ::sweatdrop::

Bakura: Hey, let's make more clones!

Sakura: How about we don't and say we did.

Clone Sakura: ::again from backstage:: The clone machine's broken anyways!

::suddenly the Pink Bunny goes running past the cast, shouting, "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Kaiba runs after him with a stick. Both run around for a minute then run backstage::

Sakura: …that was weird.

Yugi: Where'd he go?

Clone Sakura: AHHH!

Pink Bunny: Hey Sakura, hey Sakura!

Sakura: Gah! My name! But it's not me! AHH!

::Sakura and Clone Sakura run away…very far away::

Kaiba: I'm gonna get you, freaky, stupid, obnoxious, annoying, blabber mouthed… ::he keeps on going::

::and going::

Bakura: ::eyebrows raise::

::and going::

Joey: Energizer battery!

Tristan: Don't say that! Do you know what the Energizer battery mascot looks like?!

Joey: Oh, yeah…

::and going::


~~In the Arctic~~

Sakura: ::shiver:: Maybe the Pink Bunny won't find us here!

Clone Sakura: ::shiver:: Maybe, maybe not. Maybe Kaiba caught him.

Sakura: ::shiver:: I hope so…


~~Once more, at the studio~~

Kaiba: Crazy, odd-ball…

Téa: Whoa. I didn't know there were so many ways to say baka.

Kaiba: BAKA…

Bakura: Why does that always sound like a slur of my name?

Kaiba: Insane… because you are a baka…deranged, fanatical…

Yugi: It's just a (censored) pink bunny! ::turns red:: Did I just try to swear? ::nervous giggles::

Roberi: No swears? (censored)! Gah! Really, I'm going to kill Sakura when she gets back.

Yugi: No you won't.

Roberi: Yes I will!

Yugi: No you won't.

Roberi: Oh, you! I hate you! I'll kill you too!

Yugi: Hello, duh, I'm dead in the fic you're in. :P

Roberi: Did you just stick your tongue out at me?

Yugi: So what if I did?

::argument ensues, continuing as nothing but very heated nothingness with no swears::

Téa: Hmm, this is getting a little repetitive. I'm leaving. ::starts to leave::

Yami: I'm coming too… ::leaves with Téa::

Joey: Oh, great. Who knows what they'll do when they're alone.

Mai: I don't want to know.

Sugoroku: ::sweatdrop:: You kids are too spunky. I'm going to go tend the shop. ::leaves::

::soon, Joey leaves and Mai follows him::

Tristan: Am I the only one left!?

Bakura: And me.

Tristan: ::sweatdrop::

Bakura: Don't worry, I'm leaving. I'm off to find Clone Sakura.

Tristan: Gah! Why am I not fighting?! I can fight! AH! And I seem to be almost the only one without a girlfriend? …I know! I can go look for something that can stop an argument!

::Tristan leaves::

(Okay, this is for The Drunken Panda if she reads this: Tristan can play a main part!! See? …no offense, but he does more than run around the galaxy with a bounty on his head.)

Yugi: My Yami will get you!

Roberi: Your *precious* Yami isn't here right now. I think he's doing something with Téa.

Yugi: Oh, you can't swear so you give some other hints? Baka!

Kaiba: Toffee-nosed, fluffy-tailed, gay, cuckoo, nasty…


~~In the Arctic~~

Clone Sakura: Bakura! ::hugs him:: What are you doing here?

Sakura: Lucky. Maybe Yugi will come rescue me…


~~Back at the studio~~

Kaiba: Chocolate-footed, pickle-tongued, lopsided, cross eyed…

Yugi: Yeah, well maybe I should!

Roberi: If I take your hair gel, will you have flat hair?

Yugi: Actually, I just wake up in the morning and my hair is that way. So is Sakura's actually.

Roberi: ::confused:: How do you know what Sakura looks like in the morning?

(We'll stop that right there, shall we?)

Kaiba: Chicklet-toothed, bad breathed…


~~Um, in a dark forest~~

Tristan: Miss Fairy, do you have a cure for arguments?

Queen Fairy: Yes, I do. Is it for a good cause?

Tristan: Oh, yes. My friends are being mad because all their swears get censored.

Queen Fairy: Oh, that is sweet. Okay, here you go, little one. ::hands him a bottle with purple stuff in it::

Tristan: Yay! ::skips off::

Queen Fairy: ::eyes get dark, she gets all evil-looking:: Mwahahahah!


~~The Northern Territories, Canada~~

Clone Sakura: ::snuggling up against Bakura:: It's so cold…

Bakura: We'll stay warm as long as we're together.

Sakura: ::shivering on her own:: Mushy stuff sucks in a situation like this…


~~Back at the studio~~

Roberi: You mean you've seen Sakura when she wakes up!?

Yugi: …

Roberi: What were you doing?!

(Cut it out!! ::smacks herself on the head::)

Kaiba: Grape-eyed, deer-skinned…

::Tristan arrives with his…'argument-stopper'::

Tristan: Hey, Yugi! Take a sip of this!

Yugi: …okay, I guess. ::takes a sip::

::……::

Yugi: ::shudders for a minute, then opens eyes wide:: Tristan! I never noticed how cute you were!

Tristan: Gah!!

::Roberi, not seeing what happened to Yugi, drinks some of the stuff::

Roberi: ::shudders, then looks at Yugi:: …Yugi, I'm so sorry I ever yelled at you!

Tristan: Ah!! This is worse than argument-stopper! Love potion number one!

Kaiba: Lesbo...how thick are you Tristan? Potty-mouthed…


~~Somewhere in Maine~~

Clone Sakura: Wow, it's so beautiful here! The trees, the animals…

Bakura: You're right! It's beautiful!

Sakura: ::being bitten by bugs, scraped by branches, and otherwise being miserable::


~~In the catacombs of Paris~~

Pegasus: I win! Now, hmm… ::takes out a soul card::

Great God of Yu-Gi-Oh: No! Wait…I shall use my ultimate Yami powers! Mind crush!

::Pegasus dies::


~~A mile and three-sixths away from the studio~~

Clone Sakura: Hey! Do I see the antenna?

Bakura: Don't know. It's almost five in the morning. I can't see a thing!

Sakura: Ehh…


~~At the studio~~

Yugi: Tristan, your hair is so nice…

Roberi: Yugi, I never noticed how cute your nose was…

Tristan: Ehh…

::Sakura, Clone Sakura, and Bakura arrive::

Sakura: ::exhausted:: Hey…um, hi.

Clone Sakura: ::perky:: We had a wonderful time in the Arctic.

Tristan: How'd you get to the Arctic and back in less than an hour?

Bakura: Seems you've got a problem. A love problem? I can fix that...oh, Yami…?

Yami Bakura: Whadda ya want? I thought you didn't like me.

Bakura: Do your un-love potion thingy.

Yami Bakura: That again? Don't worry, this happens all the time. Love crush!

::Yugi and Roberi blink and look around::

Yugi: Uh… ::backs away from Tristan::

Roberi: ::notices she is inches away from Yugi's face:: Ah! ::jerks away::

Kaiba: Jerky, slug-eared ::gasp:: Pink Bunny. …Where'd he go?

::Pink Bunny is dead on the floor because Pegasus died::

Kaiba: Yay!! ::runs happy little circles around the pink bunny:: He's gone, he's gone, he's gone! Hey bunny! Hey bunny! Hey bunny! :P

Sakura: Oh! Look at the time. Um, hehe, that's our show…

::credits role::

WRITTEN BY
Sakura22

WRITTEN AT
9:01 PM eastern/standard time

BACKSTAGE DIRECTOR
Clone Sakura

CAST
Sakura
Clone Sakura
Roberi
Yugi Muto
Yami Yugi
Téa Gardner
Joey Wheeler
Tristan Taylor
Mai Valentine
Bakura Ryou
Seto Kaiba
Maximillion Pegasus
Sugoroku Muto
Great God of Yu-Gi-Oh
The Pink Bunny

SPECIAL THANKS TO
Brockiepoo15 and Duelist Luna for bringing up the pink or funny bunny way too much!

DO OWN
Sakura
All Clone Sakuras
Roberi
This fanfiction
Great God of Yu-Gi-Oh
Love Potion number 1
Love crush

DO NOT OWN
Yu-Gi-Oh
Energizer batteries
Looney Tunes

GAH! THIS WAS LONG BUT FUN TO WRITE!
ISN'T IT ROTTING YOUR BRAIN, THOUGH!?