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Episode 5: Guest Host Bender

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the Anime and Cartoon characters that appear in this piece. Nor do we have anything of any value so please do not sue us you would only be wasting your time.

A/N: Sisterhood Inc would like to dedicate this episode to the following reviewers from mm-org, KyoKyo866, Alia, animegirl1411, animehasmylife, ilovekyosohma, Ani-chan1, Sessy-sama, leelee-sama, ri-chan2004 and ami rei. And the following reviewers from ff-net, Himura-chan, Neko-Youkai chan, bitter-sweet memory, Laura&Nikki, Spike the Cross, Aiffe, Raberba girl, Chibi Yuki Chan, Yami Sakuno and her muses. This story did get deleted once already so I am not sure who else reviewed but rest assure we thank you too if you were not mentioned.

The camera opened up to see three women walking through the backstage area. One had shoulder length brown hair while the other two had long black hair. "Kagura-chan are you sure this is the place?" one of the black haired girls' asked.

"Yes, this is the stage where The Dating Game: Anime Edition is being filmed. Isuzu-chan. Yun-chan told me that Kyo-kun would be filming his segment today." Kagura answered. "I can't stand by while the man I love goes on a date with another woman."

"There's a stage assistant let's ask for directions to the ladies dressing rooms," the other black haired girl suggested.

"Good idea, Saki-san." Kagura agreed as the three walked up to the stage assistant. "Excuse me, we are looking for the dressing room."

"Just head straight down this hall and take a left. The dressing room is in the wardrobe area," he answered simply before turning back to his work.

The three girls walked away shocked that he helped with no questions asked.

"We must look like contestants." Isuzu said simply as they made their way to Wardrobe. Four women were standing in the mirror looking at their dresses.

"Excuse me which three of you are panelist for the Bachelor?" Saki asked simply.

Three of the ladies turned to look toward them, one green-eyed Blonde, a long hair brunette and a black haired girl.

"We are. Can we help you?" the blonde answered.

"Actually you can help us." Isuzu answered as she, Kagura and Saki explained the situation. Even the Bachelorette from the other segment listened and about half an hour later.

"Oh, that's so sad. Why would you want to be with a guy who takes you for granted?" the blue haired, blue-eyed bachelorette asked clearly distraught over Kagura's tale.

"I agree, why do you let him walk all over you?" the black haired girl asked.

"I feel how I feel. That can't be helped. But are you three willing to help me?" Kagura asked.

"You can take my place, I don't mind," the blonde said smiling warmly. Kagura hugged her happily.

"Thank you Robin-san, I own you one." Kagura said sweetly.

"We are suppose to be panelist for next week's show. You three could just trade with us." Saki suggested.

"No problem, I don't think I would want to go out with a guy who can't appreciate devotion when it is lying at his feet," the brunette said simply.

"Thank you very much, Naru-san. Hotaru-san how about you?" Kagura asked pleadingly.

"I'm fine with trading. You three should get dressed." Hotaru answered with a smirk. The camera faded to black. Sisterhood Inc In Association with Supreme Rulers Productions Presents The Dating Game: Anime Edition Episode 5 Guest Host Bender

The Camera faded in as the theme to the Dating Game began to play. The camera panned the screaming and cheering audience. Momiji, Hatsuharu and Yuki Sohma can be seen sitting in the audience smiling mischievously as the announcer spoke.

"Welcome to the Dating Game: Anime Edition and here's our special guest host BENDERRR!!" The Announcer shouted as Bender walked out smoking a cigar and drinking a beer. A stage assistant ran up to him and handed him a note. Bender read the note and scoffed.

"Bite my shiny metal A[bleep]!" he shouted as he threw the note on the floor and continued to drink and smoke. "Hey meat sacks welcome to the Dating Game: Anime Edition and I'm your host Bender. So let's get to it already. I got places to be and things to steal. First off, bachelorette #1 hailing from Tokyo, Japan. She makes her living hunting witches. She brings a whole new meaning to the phrase set the world on fire...What the..? Who wrote this crap!" Bender asked glaring at the teleprompter. "Just give me the name and stop writing stupid crap for introductions!" he demanded. "Please welcome...ROBIN SENA!"

Light my fire by the Doors began to play as the audience waited for the heart shape doors to open. Finally the doors swung open and Kagura walked out dressed in a strapless black velvet dress that flowed down to just below the ankles but had a slit up the side to the knee revealing her calve and her black sling back heels. Her brown hair is pinned back in an elegant bun. The guys in the crowd cheer her on. Momiji, Haru and Yuki look shocked at her appearance. She smiled for the camera and walked over to the first seat behind the barrier.

Meanwhile in the control room the director is frantic. "That's not Robin Sena, who the hell is that?" the director shouted.

"Kagura Sohma is her name. She was picked to be on a panel for next week's bachelor," a tech crewmember said pulling her statistics up on his database of contestants. The camera shifted back to Bender.

"Bachelorette #2 also comes to us from Tokyo, Japan. She is the Senshi of Silence and has ambitions of being a doctor." Bender scoffed. "Please welcome...HOTARU TOMOE!"

Honey by Mariah Carey began to play as the camera closed in on the heart shaped doors. They swung open to reveal Saki Hanajima. Saki was also wearing a black dress but hers only went to the knees and it had lace covering her arms and chest. Her long black hair is curled in long elegant spiral curls and she was wearing black lipstick and nail polish. She gave the camera a great look of disdain and took a seat next to Kagura.

Once again the scene switched to the control room. "Who the hell is that?" the director demanded. The tech crewmember quickly pecked at his computer keyboard. "Saki Hanajima, she is also suppose to be a panelist for next week," he answered as the camera shifted back to Bender.

"Bachelorette #3 is also from Tokyo, Japan and she is a student who is desperate to get into Tokyo University. She hates perverts and will beat any offender into dust!" he laughed. "Please welcome...NARU NARUGAWA!"

Come on over by Christina Aguilera began to play as the camera closed in on the heart shape doors. They swung open to reveal Isuzu 'Rin' Sohma. Isuzu was wearing a black and gray rayon dress with spaghetti straps that came down to her ankles and had a slit up the left leg to reveal her thigh and show off her silver open toed heels. Her long black hair is tied back into a braid while two curls dangle from the side. And she was wearing a black chiffon scarf around her neck and long black silk gloves. She too sneered at the camera. Once again Yuki, Momiji and Hatsuharu looked stumped as she took a seat next to Saki.

The camera shifted again. "Isuzu 'Rin' Sohma," the tech crewman answered before the director can ask. The camera shifted back to Bender.

"And now to introduce today's eligible bachelor. He too hails from Tokyo, Japan. He hates rats, leeks and pushy women and wants more than anything to be accepted by his family...Sounds like a loser. He and Fry would get along in loserville... Please welcome... KYO SOHMA!"

Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls began to play as the camera closed in on the heart shape doors. They swung open to reveal Kyo Sohma. Kyo was dressed in a pair of black slacks and a light blue shirt that had the top two buttons unlatched. He grimaced at the camera as he took his seat begrudgingly.

"Well loser are you ready with your questions?" Bender asked.

"Don't call me a loser!"

"And what are you going to do about it? You stupid meat puppet!" Bender challenged.

Kyo realizing that the host was a robot thought better of continuing the argument. "Whatever," Kyo scoffed.

"Ask your stupid questions already. Geez what's the big deal with you humans and love?" Bender scoffed to himself.

Kyo sighed while Hatsuharu and Momiji laughed. Yuki looked extremely amused.

"Bachelorette number one, What would you like to do on our first date?" Kyo asked.

"Anything you wanted to do. As long as I am with you it doesn't matter what we do," Kagura answered with a sigh.

Rin and Saki both rolled their eyes much to the amusement of the audience.

"Okay...Bachelorette #2 same question."

"Precisely what would make you think that I would ever date someone like you? I could not allow myself to fall for someone who can disregard others because of his own selfish inclinations," Saki answered in her usual monotone voice.

"......"

"Ha, she told you!" Bender laughed amused by Bachelorette #2.

"Number 3....Same question," Kyo asked cautiously.

"As if! I don't want to date you! You selfish jerk!" Rin snapped.

Bender started laughing harder. "It seems Number 2 and 3 already hate you!" Bender howled with laughter.

'Is it me or does 1 and 2 sound familiar?' Kyo thought to himself.

"They don't hate you, they are just easily annoyed," Kagura said simply.

"Number 1, what word would you use to describe the other two?" Kyo asked.

"I would call them both Gothic beauties," Kagura said smiling.

Rin and Saki smiled amused.

"Number 3 same question."

"Number one is loyal! Number two is helpful," Rin said.

"Number two..."

"Number one is loving and number three is protective," Saki answered cutting Kyo off.

"Okay...this is for all three of you. What would be the thing that would make you fall in love? Wait a minute I didn't write that." Kyo looked into the audience to see Momiji and Hatsuharu laughing hysterically. "You brats!"

"Why the hell would you need to ask that? You can't see love if it bit you on the butt! You ungrateful twit!" Rin shouted. "A girl pours her heart out to you day in and day out and you completely crap on her! You jerk!"

"Hey number three you want to hang out sometime? You would make a great partner in crime!" Bender asked chuckling.

"Why not? Anyone is better then the jerk bachelor!" Rin replied.

"Honestly that question is quite hollow coming from you considering that you have shot down the constant declaration of love that has been given to you unconditionally," Saki said her tone unchanging.

"Wait a minute, Hanajima? Is that you?" Kyo asked finally recognizing the monotone voice.

"I guess you are not as slow as I previously thought," she answered simply.

"Rin?" Kyo asked with a grimace.

"WHAT?" she snapped.

Kyo looked into the audience to see Momiji, Hatsuharu and Yuki smiling mischievously. He knew who number one was but he feared to say the name.

"Kyo-kun please don't be upset with me. I couldn't bear to watch you go on vacation with another woman. I love you too much. I've loved you as long as I can remember. I'm sorry for what happened but you got to know that I still love you. I'm not just saying it! I mean it!" Kagura said passionately. The fan girls in the audience awed at her speech.

"Can't you forgive her already! She told you she was sorry! You forgave Tohru and she had a similar reaction to your other self!" Rin yelled. "Oh I forgot Tohru can't do anything wrong!"

"Leave Tohru out of this," Saki said simply. "Sohma-kun, it is obvious that Kagura-san is in love with you the question is are you man enough to accept and embrace love when it is openly given to you?" she asked.

Kyo looked over to Bender who was laughing up a storm, a stage assistant was whispering something to Bender.

"It doesn't matter to me whose who. They're not robots so who cares!" Bender told the stage assistant. "Make your choice Bachelor," he demanded.

Kyo sighed defeated. "Come on out Kagura let's talk."

Kagura was up and around the barrier in a flash. Instantly she latched on to Kyo and hugged him.

"Well you get a vacation in Cancun, Mexico for a week. Enjoy! We'll be back in a few moments." Bender said still chuckling at the stupid humans.

In-between behind the scenes backstage.

"That was funny! Stupid humans and their love." Bender said laughing.

"Sorry to trick you Kyo but I really couldn't bear to watch you with another woman." Kagura said as she hugged Kyo's arm.

"I only came on this stupid show because Shigure signed me up without my permission. And then the stupid producers told me if I didn't show up they would sue me for everything I am worth. Those evil B[bleep]hes!" Kyo said angrily.

"Still doesn't explain why you are a jerk to Kagura!" Rin snapped

"Isuzu!" Kagura said sternly.

"Let's give Kagura and Kyo their privacy." Saki said as she signaled for Rin to follow her.

Back to the show

"Alright, we are back! Well it's time to introduce you to tonight's desperate losers. First off bachelor number one hails from Space Colony 004. He is filthily stinking rich and looking to share the wealth with one lucky woman! Not if I get to his wallet first! Please welcome QUATRE RABERBA WINNER!"

I want it that way by Backstreet Boys began to play as the camera closed in on the heart shape doors. They swung open to reveal Quatre Raberba Winner. He is wearing a white long sleeved button shirt with a dark gray vest and matching pants. He gives the camera an awkward smile and takes his seat behind the barrier. The fan girls go berserk.

"Next up bachelor #2, hailing from Domino City, he is a all around do-gooder and despises losing. Although if you ask me he should get use to losing! Please welcome YAMI YUGI!"

Mo Money, Mo Problems by P Diddy and Mase began to play as the camera closed in on the heart shape doors. They swung open to reveal Yami Yugi. He comes out in a sky blue sleeveless shirt and black jeans.

He sighs as the camera does a close up of him. He takes his seat behind the barrier next Quatre as the girls in the audience scream.

"Lastly bachelor #3, hailing from DBZ universe, he is all around perfection....wait I know this guy. I like his work. Please welcome PERFECT CELL!"

Highway to Hell by AC/DC began to play as the camera closed in on the heart shape doors. They swung open to reveal Prefect Cell. Cell struts out in a tight dark green silk shirt and black silk pants that hugged his muscled legs. The audience seems mildly shocked that he is wearing clothes but ladies find him strangely attractive as they roar their approval. Cell gives the camera a cocky look as he takes a seat beside Yami Yugi.

"Now to introduce the bachelorette. She is the Senshi of Ice and resident brainiac. She wants to be a doctor and is looking for a guy who can deal with her double life. Please welcome....AMI MIZUNO!"

First Night by Monica began to play as the camera closed in on the heart shape doors. They swung open to reveal Ami Mizuno. She has on a blue charcoal dress with a white snow flakes pattern. Ami gives the camera a small smile, takes her seat and picks up her question cards.

"Okay bachelorette ask your questions."

"Bachelor #3, what is the last movie you saw?" Ami asked.

"Alien vs. Predator, of course neither of those pathetic races could hope to stand against me." Cell scoffed.

"You said it pal!" Bender agreed.

"Alright." Ami sighed. "Number 1, same question."

"I saw King Arthur. I give them a credit for not making it about the love triangle but their perspective of historical events is rather askew." Quatre answered simply.

"What about you Number 2?"

"Wow it has been a while since I was able to see a movie. I think I saw Chronicles of Riddick last. While it was better than Pitch Black, it still could have been better." Yami Yugi answered plainly.

"Okay, If you were a comic book superhero which superhero would you be? Number 1?"

"Well I don't read many comic books but I guess Spiderman."

"What are you a whiny little loser?" Bender asked laughing.

"Spiderman? Can he even be considered a superhero with the amount of complaining he does?" Perfect Cell asked looking at Quatre with disgust.

"Hey get off his back!" Yami Yugi demanded coming to Quatre's defense.

"Or what? Are you going to try to send me to the shadow realm? Ooh I quiver with fear!" Perfect Cell sneered.

"Um, okay Number 2 same question." Ami said trying to regain some order. "How do I get myself into these situations?" she muttered under her breath.

"Hmm, well I personally don't read comic books very often but my other side does. Oh perhaps Green Lantern." Yami Yugi said with a shrug.

"Blah on your choices! Who wants to be a superhero when you can be a super villain? Like Apocalypse or Darksied." Perfect Cell said amused.

"Yeah but the villains always end up losing to the whiny 'heroes'." Bender pointed out.

"To true, we villains just can't catch any breaks." Perfect Cell said annoyed.

Meanwhile Ami was rubbing her temples, just about at her wits' end.

"Well bachelorette ask your last question." Bender said lighting up another cigar.

"No need, I've made my decision." Ami said wanting to move her humiliation along as fast as possible. "I choose number 1."

"What? You chose that pathetic human over me!" Perfect Cell questioned indignantly.

"Trust me, number 3 it's no biggie. You can do tons better." Bender said not impressed with the Bachelorette at all. "As a matter of fact the girls in the last panel where a lot more entertaining."

"Really, I need to meet them than." Perfect Cell with a smirk.

"Okay let's meet the ones you didn't pick first. First up Bachelor #2 Yami Yugi!"

Yami Yugi walks out from behind the barrier and Ami hugs him and lightly pecks him on the cheek. Yami Yugi blushes as he walks away.

"Next up is Bachelor #3, like a I said before I like his work. Perfect Cell!"

Perfect Cell walks out from behind the barrier. He gives Ami a disgusted look. He then nods toward Bender and walks off.

"Alright now let's meet your whiny little loser! Bachelor #1, Quatre Raberba Winner!"

Quatre walks around the barrier. Ami lets out a sigh of relief as she hugs Quatre and lightly kisses him on the cheek. Quatre blushes as they hold hands. Kyo and Kagura walk out as the audience applauds.

"Alright so you two get a week in Cancun, Mexico too. You've been watching the Dating Game Anime Edition now get out!" Bender said as he opened up another beer and began to guzzle it down.

Camera fades to black.

A/N: Well that's it for now. If I get my muse back I'll do some behind the scenes for this. I'm sorry that I took so long to put this out but I haven't felt funny. And well again we would like to thank bitter-sweet memory and KyoKyo866 for the constant encouragement. More then likely this will be the last Dating Game I will do for FFN. I think this piece flows better in script format and well Mediaminer and Fictionised allow script format. So if you are one of our FFN readers I apologize for the trouble. You can find the links to my webpage as well as my other archive accounts in my profile.